“I just want to go back to Okeechobee. All I’ve had is trouble of some kind or other ever since I came down here. What I’d say, if you asked me about Miami, I’d say it’s not a good place for a single girl to be”--Sally Waggoner, a call-girl who had an abortion of a fetus conceived with her brother Marty, who was just killed in his work as a Hare Krishna, begging money at the Miami Internatioal Airport.
After reading the beautiful but anguished Wallander series by Henning Mankell, and seeing the BBC film series adaptation ending in tears, I was looking for a few books that were lighter, older, books I had never read that were seen by readers in the mystery/ detective/noir genre as classics, and this came up. I’ve had also recently read the amazing but tough Ride the Pink Horse and Fat City, both great but neither of which are a relief from the existential despair of Wallander. I wasn’t looking for screwball level funny, but just something relatively light.
So Miami Blues, by Charles Willeford sort of fit the bill; it’s kinda sleazy-lite, with some real police work and a few laughs, featuring ex-con Junior Frenger and Susan Waggoner, a community college student putting herself through school as a call girl, through which she meets Junior. These two are great, entertaining characters, not the brightest lights on the tree, let’s say, but not completely cartoon characters, either. The writing is really good, actually.
This might be offensive to some of you, I warn you, but I found it funny: Junior moves in with Susan, but gets a little jealous of Pablo, her pimp: “Did you have sex with him before you started working for him?!” “No, no! Well, I did give him a blow job, and then he gave me SO MANY many tips! Boy, that Pablo knows a LOT! But no, no sex.”
Junior insists that they have a “platonic” relationship, though they do have sex regularly with each other. Neither of them know what the word “platonic” means.
The book opens with Junior, arriving in Miami from California where he was in prison, meeting the annoying Hare Krishna brother in the airport, bending his finger back on him. Bro Marty actually goes into shock, has a heart attack, and dies. Then Junior meets Susan, who actually takes him along to her community college English class, where they are studying haiku. After she has to identify her brother’s body, she doesn’t seem that upset, until class time approaches:
“After everything that has happened, I was afraid my teacher was going to make us write a haiku.”
“That’s okay,” Junior says. “I’ll write it for you, and then i’ll explain it to you in case he asks you about it.”
Cringy stories about shallow dumb-as-a-rock folks are always worth a laugh.
The detective in the novel is Hoke Moseley, another pretty much loser. He has false teeth, which get thrown out of the window a couple times. He’s divorced, broke, living in a flop house. He’s featured in a series of novels, but is so far less interesting than the two hapless villains. In the end, Hoke catches up to the fact that it was Junior who had done the finger-bending, and Susan finally learns this, too. And so, this (supposedly!!) dumb hooker? Well, let’s just say in the last chapter there’s a couple amusing surprises. I like it when the author makes you laugh in a kinda superior way at all the dumb people and then turns the laughter on (dumb) you. Wait a minute! Whuuut!? That kind of misdirection, yup.
So it’s a good book! It does what it sets out to do, to entertain! I’ll check out the second in the series before I return to gloom and doom.