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The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions, and Focus On Recovery
A compassionate guide to help you manage OCD symptoms, overcome feelings of shame and stigma, and revitalize your life! If you’re one of millions who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you’re all-too-familiar with feelings of anxiety, panic, shame, and uncertainty. In addition, the stigma associated with OCD can make you feel unworthy of receiving the compassion and kindness you need and deserve. You may even experience unwanted intrusive thoughts that result in harsh self-judgment—which can actually hinder your recovery and lead to additional mental health problems. So, how can you break this destructive cycle and start feeling better? The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD outlines a step-by-step program to help you understand the emotional experience of OCD, and develop the tools you need to manage your disorder and build a better life. Drawing on a powerful combination of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure and response prevention (ERP), and compassion-focused therapy (CFT), this breakthrough guide will teach you how to balance intense emotions, lean into your fear, and focus on recovery. Over time, you’ll learn to replace self-judgment with kindness and self-compassion, so you can stop suffering and start thriving. Living with OCD can be extremely challenging, but it doesn’t have to rob you of your self-worth. You are so much more than your disorder! Let this book be your guide to discovering, supporting, and loving the best you that you can be.
1 pages, Audio CD
Published May 28, 2024
107 people are currently reading
386 people want to read
About the author
Kimberley Quinlan
5 books10 followersKimberley Quinlan is a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist).
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 7, 2021
The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD by Kimberley Quinlan looks at how to use self-compassion in conjunction with exposure and response prevention (ERP) to manage OCD. The foreword is written by Jon Hershfield, co-author of The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD, which I’ve previously reviewed. Like that book’s use of mindfulness, this book uses self-compassion as a way to augment ERP, which is the gold standard for OCD, rather than replace it; the author refers to this as self-compassionate ERP (SC-ERP). This isn’t a book that tells you to just be nicer to yourself and your OCD will go away.
The author is very realistic in her approach to self-compassion. At the beginning of the book, she explains that it’s not “flowers and unicorns,” nor is it about giving yourself compliments while you run away from your fears. It’s about being kind to yourself as you make space for discomfort; it’s “warm, yet fierce.” The author also addresses roadblocks to self-compassion that people with OCD commonly experience, as well as how to handle them.
Case studies are presented early on and then used throughout the book to illustrate different concepts and exercises. I thought these were really well constructed; they were realistic, and I think they’re likely to help the book to feel more personally relevant for readers.
The background info presented about OCD included a longer list of OCD subtypes than the lists I’ve come across before, with examples like postpartum, emotional contamination, sensorimotor, hyper-responsibility, and obsessing about obsessing. The book also outlines compulsions that are often associated with each obsession type. There's also an explanation of how the brain works in relation to OCD symptoms, which I think is always useful information to include.
The author writes that clients always want to know how to stop the obsessions from happening, and she explains why it doesn’t work that way. Trying to suppress thoughts only makes them dance around in your head even more. You may have heard me mention the “don’t think about a white bear” exercise that gets those bears doing the lambada in your head; her equivalent example is don’t think about a green apple.
In general, the book includes a lot of very reasonable explanations for what the author is saying, plus plenty of reinforcement that self-compassion isn’t about weakness. For example, when going through the steps of the OCD cycle, obsessions -> anxiety -> compulsions -> temporary relief, she explains how self-criticism feeds into the entire cycle, and self-compassion can change that. Her approach to breaking the OCD cycle involves “fierce self-compassion and badassery.”
I liked the suggestion that instead of always aiming for an A+, life gets better when you drop your expectations down to a B-. It’s not about aiming for mediocrity, but rather dropping the expectations that fuel self-criticism.
Mindfulness is incorporated as a way of acknowledging that you’re in pain but not judging it or coming up with stories about it. Another important concept is compassionate responsibility, which involves putting yourself first and being unconditionally there for yourself. There are also a variety of foundational self-compassion exercises offered that you can use as you begin to work on ERP.
Part two of the book gets into ERP, emphasizing the importance of accepting uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable. This section begins with a chapter on identifying obsessions and compulsions and then creating an ERP Challenge List to work on. There are several chapters devoted to working on exposures, including flooding, imaginal exposures, interoceptive exposure (i.e. exposure to bodily sensations) and creative ways of getting creative and playful with exposures.
Part three of the book is on recovery and beyond, and addresses issues like continuing ERP through recovery, acknowledging the trauma that OCD can inflict, and facing grief over what’s lost to OCD.
I thought this book was great. I’m not a flowers and unicorns kind of person, and this is not a flowers and unicorns kind of book. You don’t have to be into meditation or affirmations or things like that that you might associate with self-compassion. I think this would be a great choice for anyone dealing with OCD.
I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.
The author is very realistic in her approach to self-compassion. At the beginning of the book, she explains that it’s not “flowers and unicorns,” nor is it about giving yourself compliments while you run away from your fears. It’s about being kind to yourself as you make space for discomfort; it’s “warm, yet fierce.” The author also addresses roadblocks to self-compassion that people with OCD commonly experience, as well as how to handle them.
Case studies are presented early on and then used throughout the book to illustrate different concepts and exercises. I thought these were really well constructed; they were realistic, and I think they’re likely to help the book to feel more personally relevant for readers.
The background info presented about OCD included a longer list of OCD subtypes than the lists I’ve come across before, with examples like postpartum, emotional contamination, sensorimotor, hyper-responsibility, and obsessing about obsessing. The book also outlines compulsions that are often associated with each obsession type. There's also an explanation of how the brain works in relation to OCD symptoms, which I think is always useful information to include.
The author writes that clients always want to know how to stop the obsessions from happening, and she explains why it doesn’t work that way. Trying to suppress thoughts only makes them dance around in your head even more. You may have heard me mention the “don’t think about a white bear” exercise that gets those bears doing the lambada in your head; her equivalent example is don’t think about a green apple.
In general, the book includes a lot of very reasonable explanations for what the author is saying, plus plenty of reinforcement that self-compassion isn’t about weakness. For example, when going through the steps of the OCD cycle, obsessions -> anxiety -> compulsions -> temporary relief, she explains how self-criticism feeds into the entire cycle, and self-compassion can change that. Her approach to breaking the OCD cycle involves “fierce self-compassion and badassery.”
I liked the suggestion that instead of always aiming for an A+, life gets better when you drop your expectations down to a B-. It’s not about aiming for mediocrity, but rather dropping the expectations that fuel self-criticism.
Mindfulness is incorporated as a way of acknowledging that you’re in pain but not judging it or coming up with stories about it. Another important concept is compassionate responsibility, which involves putting yourself first and being unconditionally there for yourself. There are also a variety of foundational self-compassion exercises offered that you can use as you begin to work on ERP.
Part two of the book gets into ERP, emphasizing the importance of accepting uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable. This section begins with a chapter on identifying obsessions and compulsions and then creating an ERP Challenge List to work on. There are several chapters devoted to working on exposures, including flooding, imaginal exposures, interoceptive exposure (i.e. exposure to bodily sensations) and creative ways of getting creative and playful with exposures.
Part three of the book is on recovery and beyond, and addresses issues like continuing ERP through recovery, acknowledging the trauma that OCD can inflict, and facing grief over what’s lost to OCD.
I thought this book was great. I’m not a flowers and unicorns kind of person, and this is not a flowers and unicorns kind of book. You don’t have to be into meditation or affirmations or things like that that you might associate with self-compassion. I think this would be a great choice for anyone dealing with OCD.
I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.
June 19, 2023
A great workbook to go along with her podcast “Your Anxiety Toolkit”. Self compassion is something we all need, and it is so great to see how Kimberley tailors this specifically to address OCD
January 10, 2022
This workbook shares great advice for OCD sufferers to use independently or in therapy. The book recommends self-compassion as a tool to use alongside exposure therapy work, making it clear that even though being kind to yourself won't make your intrusive thoughts go away, self-compassion is essential for reducing distress, building resilience, and overcoming roadblocks in ERP and long-term recovery.
The author includes clear explanations about OCD, along with an unusually comprehensive list of disorder sub-types. She also weaves in real-life examples throughout the book, sharing stories from patients with their permission to illustrate their sub-types and the particular challenges that they have faced. The book is very realistic and honest, and I would recommend it to newly diagnosed people and to those who have been struggling with OCD long-term. There will be something helpful here for everyone.
I sometimes disagreed with the author's philosophical presuppositions, but even though our worldviews differed at times, I still found this book very helpful. She isn't pushy or overly New Age in her writing, and people can easily transpose her statements into a belief context that is relevant to them. She also addresses the risk of people using self-compassion mantras as compulsions, and shares ideas for how people can make sure that they aren't misusing self-compassion as a way to avoid hard things that will lead to recovery.
This is an excellent book for OCD sufferers at all different stages of understanding and treatment. The written material is high-quality, and the workbook elements are unusually strong, with lots of open-ended questions, probing ideas, and reflection exercises that can help people understand and apply new knowledge to their lives without it feeling like busy work. I would highly recommend this.
I received a digital copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The author includes clear explanations about OCD, along with an unusually comprehensive list of disorder sub-types. She also weaves in real-life examples throughout the book, sharing stories from patients with their permission to illustrate their sub-types and the particular challenges that they have faced. The book is very realistic and honest, and I would recommend it to newly diagnosed people and to those who have been struggling with OCD long-term. There will be something helpful here for everyone.
I sometimes disagreed with the author's philosophical presuppositions, but even though our worldviews differed at times, I still found this book very helpful. She isn't pushy or overly New Age in her writing, and people can easily transpose her statements into a belief context that is relevant to them. She also addresses the risk of people using self-compassion mantras as compulsions, and shares ideas for how people can make sure that they aren't misusing self-compassion as a way to avoid hard things that will lead to recovery.
This is an excellent book for OCD sufferers at all different stages of understanding and treatment. The written material is high-quality, and the workbook elements are unusually strong, with lots of open-ended questions, probing ideas, and reflection exercises that can help people understand and apply new knowledge to their lives without it feeling like busy work. I would highly recommend this.
I received a digital copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
July 29, 2021
I'm a clinician so reading from the perspective of something that can be helpful for clients. This was an amazing workbook. I get very frustrated with OCD self help books just expecting people to expose themselves to their worst fears but this one is not like that. It brilliantly integrates self compassion into OCD treatment in a step by step way. I feel like this is what my interventions have been missing and am definitely going to reccomend to clients and colleagues working with OCD
May 23, 2022
I love the compassion approach to helping with OCD. Something the author said in the forward really resonates with me:
"“I was first introduced to self-compassion in ...” 2015? Is that possible? What a strange thing to say. How is it that something so basic and fundamental as being good and kind to yourself never occurred to me on its own? Stranger than that, no one bothered to mention it to me!"
It's so true. It seems like it *should* be obvious, but it's not.
Also, the author says this:
"Self-compassion is not flowers and unicorns. It does not involve simply giving yourself compliments and permission to run away from the many fears and struggles you experience. The practice of self-compassion involves a deep commitment to not only treating yourself with loving kindness, tenderness, and self-respect but also standing up to fear and being intentional about no longer allowing fear to make your choices and rule your life."
Henry James is quoted:
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
And the third is to be kind."
Also, so true.
This is the more compassionate way of exposure and response prevention. You still have to list out your obsessions and compulsions and try to mitigate them, but you approach them from a more compassionate standpoint. Not feeling bad about yourself when you fail, criticizing yourself, or thinking you are a horrible person. You realize you are human and you won't be perfect all the time. Recovery isn't a straight line. There is a really good graph on page 204 that shows the twisty, windy path.
There is a nice reflection table on page 205, which goes through the old mindset vs the recovery mindset. Things like:
The old mindset says "My obsessions make me a bad person."
The recovery mindset says "My obsessions do not define who I am and what kind of person I am."
Plenty more examples in that table.
Shift your thinking. Accept and love yourself. Maybe you have issues, but you are trying.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for a free eARC in exchange for an honest review. Nicely, they provided a PDF file so it's usable forever. Normally, these things have an expiration date.
"“I was first introduced to self-compassion in ...” 2015? Is that possible? What a strange thing to say. How is it that something so basic and fundamental as being good and kind to yourself never occurred to me on its own? Stranger than that, no one bothered to mention it to me!"
It's so true. It seems like it *should* be obvious, but it's not.
Also, the author says this:
"Self-compassion is not flowers and unicorns. It does not involve simply giving yourself compliments and permission to run away from the many fears and struggles you experience. The practice of self-compassion involves a deep commitment to not only treating yourself with loving kindness, tenderness, and self-respect but also standing up to fear and being intentional about no longer allowing fear to make your choices and rule your life."
Henry James is quoted:
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind.
The second is to be kind.
And the third is to be kind."
Also, so true.
This is the more compassionate way of exposure and response prevention. You still have to list out your obsessions and compulsions and try to mitigate them, but you approach them from a more compassionate standpoint. Not feeling bad about yourself when you fail, criticizing yourself, or thinking you are a horrible person. You realize you are human and you won't be perfect all the time. Recovery isn't a straight line. There is a really good graph on page 204 that shows the twisty, windy path.
There is a nice reflection table on page 205, which goes through the old mindset vs the recovery mindset. Things like:
The old mindset says "My obsessions make me a bad person."
The recovery mindset says "My obsessions do not define who I am and what kind of person I am."
Plenty more examples in that table.
Shift your thinking. Accept and love yourself. Maybe you have issues, but you are trying.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for a free eARC in exchange for an honest review. Nicely, they provided a PDF file so it's usable forever. Normally, these things have an expiration date.
April 19, 2022
“It is a beautiful day to do hard things!” This is Kimberley Quinlan’s mantra for The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD. And it all begins once upon an obsession…every OCD story starts with an obsession. “Being uncertain is the tax on being human.” “Sometimes, life is an exposure!” aka putting “ourselves in situations in which we feel the urge to do compulsions, and let’s show the brain how much faith we have in its ability to choose a different path.”
“Self-compassion is the practice of honoring and making space for discomfort instead of pushing it away.” It stares fear right in the eyes; “that is the most remarkable act of courage, resilience, and self-love.” Self-compassion is a superpower, “like a momma bear and a papa bear all tied into one.”
As an elementary teacher, Quinlan’s clip chart analogy resonated with me! “When it comes to your worth as a human being, there is no such thing as “clipping up” or “clipping down”...Equality means that everyone lives at the top, right up there in the “You made it!” section, every single day.” Instead of aiming for an A+, just “be” a B-. I commit to lead by example and teach our next generation that people who have mental illnesses have nothing to be ashamed of; people with mental illnesses deserve to be treated equally, with respect.
I loved the concept of a compassion coach! “A compassion coach encourages you, cheers for you and genuinely wants what’s best for you. A compassion coach reminds you of your strengths and does not use your weaknesses against you. A compassion coach commits to your long-term recovery and reminds you why you are doing the hard work. As a believer, Christ is my “Compassion Coach.” He says, “I have created you to be more than a conqueror (aka biblical badass)! You’ve got this because I’ve got you!”
Kimberley Quinlan’s The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD is like “wrapping yourself and your exhaustion in the largest metaphorical self-compassion blanket you can imagine and place your attention on replenishing your energy stores.”
“Self-compassion is the practice of honoring and making space for discomfort instead of pushing it away.” It stares fear right in the eyes; “that is the most remarkable act of courage, resilience, and self-love.” Self-compassion is a superpower, “like a momma bear and a papa bear all tied into one.”
As an elementary teacher, Quinlan’s clip chart analogy resonated with me! “When it comes to your worth as a human being, there is no such thing as “clipping up” or “clipping down”...Equality means that everyone lives at the top, right up there in the “You made it!” section, every single day.” Instead of aiming for an A+, just “be” a B-. I commit to lead by example and teach our next generation that people who have mental illnesses have nothing to be ashamed of; people with mental illnesses deserve to be treated equally, with respect.
I loved the concept of a compassion coach! “A compassion coach encourages you, cheers for you and genuinely wants what’s best for you. A compassion coach reminds you of your strengths and does not use your weaknesses against you. A compassion coach commits to your long-term recovery and reminds you why you are doing the hard work. As a believer, Christ is my “Compassion Coach.” He says, “I have created you to be more than a conqueror (aka biblical badass)! You’ve got this because I’ve got you!”
Kimberley Quinlan’s The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD is like “wrapping yourself and your exhaustion in the largest metaphorical self-compassion blanket you can imagine and place your attention on replenishing your energy stores.”
November 6, 2022
The Self Compassion Workbook for OCD is a valuable read for those affected by obsessive compulsive disorder. Not only are the typical techniques explored in how to manage OCD such as: exposure, but also, this book really explores the use of self-compassion. There are exercises, meditations, and self-reflections to complete throughout the workbook. There are case studies provided throughout the book to display how to implement the strategies provided. Initially, the book educates the reader about obsessive compulsive disorder. Then, it embarks on chapters focusing on practicing self-compassion. The exercises are presented in an easy to follow format and very easy to implement. Part 2 of the book focuses on identifying obsessions and compulsions and using self-compassion in ERP (exposure and response prevention) exercises. Part 3 of the book delves into trauma, grief, and using self-compassionate exposure and prevention exercises for long term. This book provides a wealth of easy to read and easy to implement information in using compassion for assistance with managing OCD. I highly recommend this book. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the advance review copy in exchange for my honest review.
October 18, 2024
An amazing book exploring OCD, EPR AND Self-compassion. My own experience in life is real change only comes from self-compassion and embracing our messy humanness. We need to let ourselves off the hook of perfectionism - something which western culture is underpinned with and love ourselves warts and all. There isn’t a better replacement of ourselves hung up in our wardrobes. We can learn to be kind to ourselves and no self-hate. It’s the only way to transformation. We are never encouraged by society to love ourselves unconditionally and this book speaks to this. It is underpinned by the wonderful work of Kristin Neff who brought self compassion to the forefront of research. My encouragement is for anyone struggling with anxiety, but especially OCD sufferers to buy and fully engage in this workbook as it’s an absolute gem. Thanks Kimberly for producing a book with so much loving kindness embuded through-out. ❤️🙏
April 26, 2025
My therapist recommended that we work through this workbook together. It has explained a lot and given me a lot of tools to practice, but I feel like I'm still too much in the early stages to know how helpful this book really is. Still, I thought it deserved 5 stars because it's well written, includes a lot of exercises you can do, breaks down a lot of important information into easy-to-read chunks, and is well suited as a reference book for long-term recovery. I certainly wouldn't read this without a professional guide if you think you might have OCD, although I could see it being less of an issue if you fit one of the subtypes very well.
November 21, 2022
As someone with OCD this book gave me anxiety lol. I did enjoy learning about all the different types of OCD. I didn't realize there were so many. I also appreciate that they talk about how OCD is not just a phase it is something hard to live with. I definitely learned a lot about myself and really felt like things in this workbook gave me things to thing about and work on
March 21, 2025
This workbook is helping me while I start therapy and ERP for my OCD.
I recommend buying a physical copy. I got a digital copy through the library, which really limited my ability to write things down and come back to them later.
The author is knowledgeable, includes citations, disclaimers, and excellent advice.
I recommend buying a physical copy. I got a digital copy through the library, which really limited my ability to write things down and come back to them later.
The author is knowledgeable, includes citations, disclaimers, and excellent advice.
February 4, 2022
"Put a gentle hand on your chest and offer yourself a loving touch". I just couldn't vibe with this book and don't see a lot of helpful info here
March 20, 2024
This is my go to workbook for OCD in my clinical practice. I appreciate the way it teaches self compassion skills in conjunction with exposure & response prevention (ERP).
August 8, 2024
Very informative about OCD and strategies to help with overcoming it. Many of these strategies seem like they can also be applied to situations unrelated to OCD.
September 30, 2024
A very empowering read for anyone who lives with OCD.
May 12, 2025
Really helpful in the midst of grieving my own ocd and learning to care for myself more. Honestly even works outside ocd. Love Tanya’s letter.
September 2, 2021
I am finding this book straightforward, practical, and easy to implement. I recently was diagnosed with OCD and am working on coping skills and navigating my tendencies. I love things like this that tell me exactly what to do and help me understand why I am the way I am. If you are recently diagnosed, have symptoms you want to manage, or want to improve your self-compassion, this book is great for you!
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews