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The Grieving Body: How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing
The follow-up to celebrated grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor’s The Grieving Brain focuses on the impact of grief—and life’s other major stressors—on the human body.
Coping with death and grief is one of the most painful human experiences. While we can speak to the psychological and emotional ramifications of loss and sorrow, we often overlook its impact on our physical bodies. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor specializes in the study of grief, and in The Grieving Body she shares vital scientific research, revealing imperative new insights on its profound physiological impact. As she did in The Grieving Brain, O’Connor combines illuminating studies and personal stories to explore the toll loss takes on our cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems and the larger implications for our long-term well-being.
The Grieving Body addresses questions about how bereavement affects us, such as:
Can we die of a broken heart?
What happens in our bodies when we’re grieving?
How do our coping behaviors affect our physical health?
What is the cognitive impact of grief?
Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress?
and more
Research-backed, warm, and empathetic, The Grieving Body is an essential, hopeful read for those experiencing loss as well as their supportive friends and family.
The Grieving Body is illustrated with black-and-white charts and graphs.
Coping with death and grief is one of the most painful human experiences. While we can speak to the psychological and emotional ramifications of loss and sorrow, we often overlook its impact on our physical bodies. Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor specializes in the study of grief, and in The Grieving Body she shares vital scientific research, revealing imperative new insights on its profound physiological impact. As she did in The Grieving Brain, O’Connor combines illuminating studies and personal stories to explore the toll loss takes on our cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems and the larger implications for our long-term well-being.
The Grieving Body addresses questions about how bereavement affects us, such as:
Can we die of a broken heart?
What happens in our bodies when we’re grieving?
How do our coping behaviors affect our physical health?
What is the cognitive impact of grief?
Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress?
and more
Research-backed, warm, and empathetic, The Grieving Body is an essential, hopeful read for those experiencing loss as well as their supportive friends and family.
The Grieving Body is illustrated with black-and-white charts and graphs.
296 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 11, 2025
216 people are currently reading
3849 people want to read
About the author
Mary-Frances O'Connor
4 books127 followersMary-Frances O'Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss, and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab in investigating the effects of grief on the brain and the body.
O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012.
Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, New York Times, and Washington Post.
Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in sunny Tucson, Arizona.
O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012.
Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, New York Times, and Washington Post.
Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in sunny Tucson, Arizona.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
August 19, 2025
This was beautiful and deep. I truly appreciated the eye-opening moments of this book. It has tough truths, but things to help give you the breakthrough you need to heal while grieving. Overall, I found this helpful and insightful.
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March 31, 20252025 reads: 71/300
in this book, the author discusses the impact that grief has on our bodies, tying in her clinical expertise as a neuroscientist and psychologist with her personal experiences as a grieving person and a physically disabled person. i thought it was very interesting how the author tied in disabled grief into this book, as this type of grief is so often overlooked. while this was very science-based, the personal touches such as that one made the book more relatable to my own life. i recommend this to people interested in learning more about the physical effects of grief, though of course, proceed with caution if this is a raw topic for you.
in this book, the author discusses the impact that grief has on our bodies, tying in her clinical expertise as a neuroscientist and psychologist with her personal experiences as a grieving person and a physically disabled person. i thought it was very interesting how the author tied in disabled grief into this book, as this type of grief is so often overlooked. while this was very science-based, the personal touches such as that one made the book more relatable to my own life. i recommend this to people interested in learning more about the physical effects of grief, though of course, proceed with caution if this is a raw topic for you.
March 9, 2025
Synopsis: The Grieving Body by Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor offers a detailed, scientific look at the impact grief has on our bodies. She details the impact of grief on our immune system, liver, lungs, brain, and our hearts. She shares her own lived experience of loss and the host of physical and mental symptoms she experienced, which is both validating and relatable. One of the greatest takeaways was the scientific explanation for the brain fog that accompanies our grief, such as inflammation and synaptic over-pruning.
Overall: I loved this book and found it helpful from a clinical and personal perspective. After the passing of my nephew, I read the Grieving Brain my Dr. O'Connor. I site it often in my work, particularly when I work with someone who is dealing with traumatic loss. I annotated so much in the Grieving Body, both for myself and my clients. Sometimes, having the language to explain what we are experiencing but can't put words to is just what we need. Dr. O'Connor does just that, gives us a shared language for these universal, but extremely personal, experiences.
I believe every clinician in the mental health field should read this book. But you need not be a clinician to gain something from this book. This book is for those of us that have lived through unimaginable loss.
Rating: 4/5
Overall: I loved this book and found it helpful from a clinical and personal perspective. After the passing of my nephew, I read the Grieving Brain my Dr. O'Connor. I site it often in my work, particularly when I work with someone who is dealing with traumatic loss. I annotated so much in the Grieving Body, both for myself and my clients. Sometimes, having the language to explain what we are experiencing but can't put words to is just what we need. Dr. O'Connor does just that, gives us a shared language for these universal, but extremely personal, experiences.
I believe every clinician in the mental health field should read this book. But you need not be a clinician to gain something from this book. This book is for those of us that have lived through unimaginable loss.
Rating: 4/5
March 5, 2025
Short but not a quick read. I listened to the audiobook, which is narrated by the author, and wish I had taken more time in between chapters to digest all of the information. Fascinating and hopeful.
July 14, 2025
“Because life continues on, and begs us to come with it, it reaches into the very core of our body and helps us to find new equilibrium eventually.”
October 4, 2025
This has been a great read. I love how Mary-Frances O'connor writes so openly about her personal experience with grief. How she carefully weaves scientific research on grief and so much compassion for those grappling their own grief. Truly worth a read.
The connection between the psychological and physiological has always fascinated, and to read about this nexus in the context of grief has been beyond educational.
I should also mention that after reading the grieving brain I had very high expectations for this book. And I'm happy to say that they've been met.
The connection between the psychological and physiological has always fascinated, and to read about this nexus in the context of grief has been beyond educational.
I should also mention that after reading the grieving brain I had very high expectations for this book. And I'm happy to say that they've been met.
April 19, 2025
While many resources for grief focus on the emotional healing journey, your body carries the weight of loss in ways that are rarely discussed.
notes:
- Grief lives in your body – in your heavy chest, in your churning stomach, in the muscles that ache with exhaustion.
- your brain builds a detailed map of your relationship with your loved one – how they sound, smell, move, and how you interact with them. When that person is no longer present, your brain and body work overtime trying to resolve this mismatch between what they expect, and what is now reality.
- Research has demonstrated that grief activates your sympathetic nervous system – or the fight or flight response – in the same way your body responds to danger. This explains why early grief often comes with a racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and heightened alertness. Your body is responding as if it is an emergency because, from an evolutionary perspective, separation from your tribe or loved ones was life-threatening.
- At the same time, your brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. While these hormones help in true emergencies, their continued presence during prolonged grief can exhaust your body.
- the vagus nerve, which connects your brain to many organs, carries grief throughout your body. This explains why you might feel grief in your gut, heart, lungs, and throat. When grief is intense, your vagus nerve can trigger sensations of choking, chest pain, or digestive upheaval.
- Grief tends to reduce the amount of deep and REM sleep you get, even if you’re in bed for a full eight hours.
- Tending to your body doesn’t mean trying to fix or eliminate grief – it’s about creating conditions that support your system as it processes this profound experience
- One meaningful sign of integration is when your body can experience moments of pleasure without immediate guilt. When your body begins to accept brief periods of well-being, from enjoying the warmth of sun or the taste of a favorite food, it signals that your nervous system is expanding beyond the narrow focus of acute grief.
- The biggest sign of healing is when memories of your loved one can live in your body alongside present-moment experiences, when feeling torn between the past with your person and the present without them starts to ease
ideas:
- When these physical sensations feel overwhelming, try placing one hand on your heart and one on your stomach. Take slow, gentle breaths, feeling the rise and fall beneath your hands. This simple action helps your nervous system feel safer in the present moment. Even just naming what you’re experiencing can help. Saying what you feel, like “my shoulders are tense” or “my chest feels tight,” can help your brain process what’s happening.
- To support your nervous system during grief, try alternating between gentle movement and rest. Even five minutes of walking, stretching, or swaying to music helps regulate your autonomic nervous system. Cold water on your face or hands can help calm an overwhelmed nervous system in moments of acute distress.
- At night, a weighted blanket can provide comforting pressure that signals safety to your nervous system. During the day, notice when your shoulders creep up toward your ears – this is a sign your sympathetic nervous system is activated. Consciously lowering them while taking a deep breath sends a message of safety to your brain
- Rather than forcing yourself to eat large meals, try small, nutrient-dense foods throughout the day like nuts, fruit, or vegetable soups that are easier for a sensitive digestive system.
- Moving your body gently during the day increases your chances of deeper sleep at night, while also supporting immune function through improved lymphatic flow.
- The 4-7-8 breath pattern works particularly well during grief: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale slowly for eight. The long exhale signals safety to your brain, and helps interrupt the stress cycle that grief initiates.
- Even brief periods outdoors can lower cortisol levels and reframe your perspective.
- Certain music, particularly pieces around 60 beats per minute, synchronizes with heart rate and breath, creating a phenomenon called entrainment.
- The act of immersion in water – be it in the bath, shower, a lake, or the ocean – symbolizes both cleansing and transformation. The sensation of water against skin brings you into the present moment, while the flowing nature of water mirrors how grief can move through you, rather than getting stuck.
notes:
- Grief lives in your body – in your heavy chest, in your churning stomach, in the muscles that ache with exhaustion.
- your brain builds a detailed map of your relationship with your loved one – how they sound, smell, move, and how you interact with them. When that person is no longer present, your brain and body work overtime trying to resolve this mismatch between what they expect, and what is now reality.
- Research has demonstrated that grief activates your sympathetic nervous system – or the fight or flight response – in the same way your body responds to danger. This explains why early grief often comes with a racing heart, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and heightened alertness. Your body is responding as if it is an emergency because, from an evolutionary perspective, separation from your tribe or loved ones was life-threatening.
- At the same time, your brain releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. While these hormones help in true emergencies, their continued presence during prolonged grief can exhaust your body.
- the vagus nerve, which connects your brain to many organs, carries grief throughout your body. This explains why you might feel grief in your gut, heart, lungs, and throat. When grief is intense, your vagus nerve can trigger sensations of choking, chest pain, or digestive upheaval.
- Grief tends to reduce the amount of deep and REM sleep you get, even if you’re in bed for a full eight hours.
- Tending to your body doesn’t mean trying to fix or eliminate grief – it’s about creating conditions that support your system as it processes this profound experience
- One meaningful sign of integration is when your body can experience moments of pleasure without immediate guilt. When your body begins to accept brief periods of well-being, from enjoying the warmth of sun or the taste of a favorite food, it signals that your nervous system is expanding beyond the narrow focus of acute grief.
- The biggest sign of healing is when memories of your loved one can live in your body alongside present-moment experiences, when feeling torn between the past with your person and the present without them starts to ease
ideas:
- When these physical sensations feel overwhelming, try placing one hand on your heart and one on your stomach. Take slow, gentle breaths, feeling the rise and fall beneath your hands. This simple action helps your nervous system feel safer in the present moment. Even just naming what you’re experiencing can help. Saying what you feel, like “my shoulders are tense” or “my chest feels tight,” can help your brain process what’s happening.
- To support your nervous system during grief, try alternating between gentle movement and rest. Even five minutes of walking, stretching, or swaying to music helps regulate your autonomic nervous system. Cold water on your face or hands can help calm an overwhelmed nervous system in moments of acute distress.
- At night, a weighted blanket can provide comforting pressure that signals safety to your nervous system. During the day, notice when your shoulders creep up toward your ears – this is a sign your sympathetic nervous system is activated. Consciously lowering them while taking a deep breath sends a message of safety to your brain
- Rather than forcing yourself to eat large meals, try small, nutrient-dense foods throughout the day like nuts, fruit, or vegetable soups that are easier for a sensitive digestive system.
- Moving your body gently during the day increases your chances of deeper sleep at night, while also supporting immune function through improved lymphatic flow.
- The 4-7-8 breath pattern works particularly well during grief: inhale for a count of four, hold for seven, and exhale slowly for eight. The long exhale signals safety to your brain, and helps interrupt the stress cycle that grief initiates.
- Even brief periods outdoors can lower cortisol levels and reframe your perspective.
- Certain music, particularly pieces around 60 beats per minute, synchronizes with heart rate and breath, creating a phenomenon called entrainment.
- The act of immersion in water – be it in the bath, shower, a lake, or the ocean – symbolizes both cleansing and transformation. The sensation of water against skin brings you into the present moment, while the flowing nature of water mirrors how grief can move through you, rather than getting stuck.
February 26, 2025
I really like that the author is also the narrator. This book reminds me a lot of The Body Keeps the Score by Van der Kolk. That a good thing. That book focus specifically on the body and its reaction to trauma, et. al. This book focuses specifically on grief. It's incredibly informative with a lot of medical information. It's above my understanding, but it still helps me understand why my body has experienced so much pain throughout the years of grieving my many losses. O'Connor is thorough and demonstrates her great knowledge. Well done.
June 12, 2025
I've read dozens of books on the topic of grief and while I continue to do so I often feel now that I'm reading things I've already heard or read before, or things I've long known. This book, however, offered a lot of fresh insight and information and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I appreciate how the author speaks to her experience of having MS, sharing about the specific grief of having to live with chronic illness and tying this in with data, studies and other grief insights. O'Connor speaks honestly about the grief she felt after her mother died, while also sharing the relief she experienced - with vulnerability and interesting insight I haven't read before. The writing is excellent and while I got through this book quickly - I was gripped - I have purchased the audiobook because I wish to hear/read it again. There is a lot in this book, including several references to meditation, self-compassion, suggestions for overcoming insomnia and more, and I even discovered a new meditation teacher towards the end of the book who I already love.
I highly recommend this book and think it will benefit many - everyone experiences grief, and this is a great book to have in your library.
Topics include: Can we die of a broken heart? How do our coping behaviors in turn affect our physical health? How do physical changes in the brain after the death of a loved one alter our emotional and cognitive states? Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress? How can we reconnect with others when we feel broken, and how could that help our physical health?
Quote from Page 138 "I believe that just because we have identified a region in the brain where the loving bond between two people is encoded, and we hypothesize the oxytocin and opioid binding there decreases during bereavement, it does not necessarily mean we should intervene by trying to change the brain directly, as with medication. Rather, it points to the incredible importance of the attachment bond, notable because of the amount of resources the brain devotes to maintaining this bond, conserved even across species. The brain has evolved to protest the absence of the beloved in case they could be recovered, to despair at their absence and what that means for the person's life, and also to adapt, transforming the internal working relationship with the beloved and restoring a life in which love and community are possible again. Perhaps the best course is to support this natural process, discovering and recognizing the ways it can go awry, but intervening by supporting the relationships, thought patterns, and behaviors that improve the bereaved person's experience. In many ways, I believe science can reach the same conclusion that indigenous communities have known all along through an entirely different system of knowledge: that the people, the community, are the medicine. If we want to increase oxytocin or opioids, why not support the bereaved person's feelings of mattering and belonging, their opportunities for physical touch, which demonstratively lead to the body's own oxytocin and opioid production?"
I appreciate how the author speaks to her experience of having MS, sharing about the specific grief of having to live with chronic illness and tying this in with data, studies and other grief insights. O'Connor speaks honestly about the grief she felt after her mother died, while also sharing the relief she experienced - with vulnerability and interesting insight I haven't read before. The writing is excellent and while I got through this book quickly - I was gripped - I have purchased the audiobook because I wish to hear/read it again. There is a lot in this book, including several references to meditation, self-compassion, suggestions for overcoming insomnia and more, and I even discovered a new meditation teacher towards the end of the book who I already love.
I highly recommend this book and think it will benefit many - everyone experiences grief, and this is a great book to have in your library.
Topics include: Can we die of a broken heart? How do our coping behaviors in turn affect our physical health? How do physical changes in the brain after the death of a loved one alter our emotional and cognitive states? Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress? How can we reconnect with others when we feel broken, and how could that help our physical health?
Quote from Page 138 "I believe that just because we have identified a region in the brain where the loving bond between two people is encoded, and we hypothesize the oxytocin and opioid binding there decreases during bereavement, it does not necessarily mean we should intervene by trying to change the brain directly, as with medication. Rather, it points to the incredible importance of the attachment bond, notable because of the amount of resources the brain devotes to maintaining this bond, conserved even across species. The brain has evolved to protest the absence of the beloved in case they could be recovered, to despair at their absence and what that means for the person's life, and also to adapt, transforming the internal working relationship with the beloved and restoring a life in which love and community are possible again. Perhaps the best course is to support this natural process, discovering and recognizing the ways it can go awry, but intervening by supporting the relationships, thought patterns, and behaviors that improve the bereaved person's experience. In many ways, I believe science can reach the same conclusion that indigenous communities have known all along through an entirely different system of knowledge: that the people, the community, are the medicine. If we want to increase oxytocin or opioids, why not support the bereaved person's feelings of mattering and belonging, their opportunities for physical touch, which demonstratively lead to the body's own oxytocin and opioid production?"
July 8, 2025
Way too technical for me. And so much about her personal story. which is certainly her prerogative.
August 1, 2025
Navigating the aftermath of death and grief is one of life’s most profound challenges. While the emotional and psychological toll is often front and center in our discussions, it’s crucial to understand that grief also significantly impacts our physical health. In her insightful book, The Grieving Body, Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor delves into this critical area, revealing groundbreaking scientific findings that show how grief can affect our hearts, hormonal systems, and immune responses.
In The Grieving Body, O'Connor tackles essential questions that many may grapple with, such as:
- Can heartbreak truly lead to physical death?
- What physiological changes do we undergo during the grieving process?
- How do our coping strategies affect our overall health?
- What are the cognitive impacts of grief?
- Why do we find ourselves more vulnerable to illness in times of stress?
With its evidence-based insights and compassionate narrative, The Grieving Body emerges as an invaluable resource for anyone facing the pain of loss, as well as for loved ones seeking to provide meaningful support. This book not only informs but also empowers readers to navigate their grief with greater awareness and resilience.
In The Grieving Body, O'Connor tackles essential questions that many may grapple with, such as:
- Can heartbreak truly lead to physical death?
- What physiological changes do we undergo during the grieving process?
- How do our coping strategies affect our overall health?
- What are the cognitive impacts of grief?
- Why do we find ourselves more vulnerable to illness in times of stress?
With its evidence-based insights and compassionate narrative, The Grieving Body emerges as an invaluable resource for anyone facing the pain of loss, as well as for loved ones seeking to provide meaningful support. This book not only informs but also empowers readers to navigate their grief with greater awareness and resilience.
November 9, 2025
Some interesting scientific information made this book worth reading. But I didn't feel it helped me much with my grief journey as it was centered primarily on the loss of a partner or, as in the author's case, the life of a parent. Also I didn't find many pointers for how to survive the trauma of losing a loved one. Her book -- The Grieving Brain -- was much more insightful.
May 17, 2025
I loved this book! Such a great read about the mind, body, spirit connection of grief and loss. I learned a lot about the stress of grieving and to give myself more grace than I was. I will be rereading this over and over!
June 12, 2025
This was the perfect follow-up to The Grieving Brain, offering tons of insight, wisdom, and helpful, useable information.
June 8, 2025
This was a fascinating read, and I loved that the author narrated the book!
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April 20, 2025Grief is often understood as an emotional wound, something carried in the heart or the mind. However, Mary-Frances O’Connor’s "The Grieving Body" expands this perspective, revealing how loss embeds itself in the body just as deeply. Drawing from neuroscience and psychology, the book offers a compelling account of how grief isn't just a mental experience—it’s a full-body event. From sleepless nights and clenched muscles to changes in digestion and immune responses, our physical systems react intensely to loss. But O’Connor doesn't stop at simply describing the biology of grief—she also offers hope and guidance, helping us understand how to gently support the body through its natural mourning process.
When a person you love dies, the change isn't just abstract. Your brain has created an internal map of their presence—how they speak, how they move, how you interact—and when that person is suddenly gone, the body doesn’t just accept it. It searches, aches, and reacts. That’s why people might instinctively look toward the door expecting their loved one to walk in, or feel a physical jolt when hearing a familiar song. This mismatch between expectation and reality causes real, physical tension and stress. Grief manifests as a racing heart, shallow breath, tight shoulders, nausea, or digestive changes. People report feeling like they're wrapped in fog, moving through a world that feels unfamiliar and flat. These reactions aren’t abnormal; they’re the body’s attempt to process a profound rupture.
O’Connor explains that grief activates the nervous system, particularly the sympathetic nervous system—the part that governs the fight-or-flight response. This was once useful in our evolutionary history, as separation from loved ones could mean danger. The brain, flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, reacts to the loss as a crisis. This constant stress load wears down the body, explaining why even basic tasks during early grief can feel exhausting. The brain’s attachment system, a deeply rooted part of our biology, continues searching for the person we've lost. It’s not just metaphorical longing; it’s your brain literally trying to restore a severed connection. Meanwhile, the vagus nerve—responsible for relaying messages between the brain and many vital organs—carries signals of grief throughout the body. That’s why you might feel tightness in your throat, a heavy chest, or gut issues even weeks or months after the loss.
This physiological reaction doesn’t stop at the nervous system. Basic functions like sleep, immunity, and digestion become disrupted. Many grieving individuals suffer from insomnia or restless sleep. Even when they do sleep, it’s often shallow and fails to bring real rest. Deep and REM sleep, which are essential for physical repair and emotional processing, tend to diminish, leaving people waking up tired, foggy, or emotionally raw. The body's internal clock may become skewed, leading to that common 3 a.m. wake-up that so many grieving people experience.
The immune system also takes a hit. Natural killer cells, which defend the body from viruses and potentially cancerous changes, often reduce their activity in the grieving body. Meanwhile, inflammation increases, leaving people vulnerable to illness or flare-ups of chronic conditions. Digestion, too, is affected. The gut, sometimes called the second brain due to its network of neurons, can become hypersensitive. Appetite may vanish or fluctuate wildly. The microbiome—the ecosystem of bacteria in the gut—can shift under the weight of grief, impacting digestion and even mood, as many neurotransmitters are produced in the gut.
Rather than pushing the body to 'get over it,' O’Connor offers strategies to help it through the process. Simple breathwork, such as the 4-7-8 technique—inhaling for four seconds, holding for seven, and exhaling for eight—can calm the nervous system and promote a sense of safety. Physical rituals, like placing a hand on your heart and breathing slowly, remind the body that it is not in immediate danger. These tiny shifts send cues to the brain to slow down, recalibrate, and rest.
Touch, too, plays a healing role. The absence of a loved one often creates a lack of physical affection that the body registers as skin hunger. Gentle self-massage, warm baths, or the comfort of a weighted blanket can all activate oxytocin, a hormone that counters the effects of stress. Even spending time with pets or receiving hugs from others can provide much-needed relief to a grieving body. Nutrition, hydration, and rest also become central. O’Connor suggests focusing not on rigid meal plans but on simple, nourishing foods rich in omega-3s and magnesium—like walnuts, spinach, or fatty fish—which can reduce inflammation and support sleep.
Nature, sound, and movement are other tools for supporting the grieving body. Walking outdoors, especially in the morning sun, helps reset the body’s circadian rhythms. The natural world also creates a state of soft attention—where the senses are gently engaged but not overwhelmed. This soft focus helps lower stress hormones and bring a quiet kind of clarity. Music, especially tunes that mimic the natural rhythm of the body (around 60 beats per minute), can help stabilize heart rate and breathing. Nature sounds and instrumental music can be comforting companions, easing the burden of words when language fails.
One of the most powerful themes in the book is the importance of ritual. Rituals offer a bridge between emotional pain and bodily healing. They provide physical actions through which the body can express and process loss. These don’t have to be elaborate or public. It could be taking a bath while holding an object that belonged to your loved one, creating something with your hands, or drinking tea from their mug. These repeated acts allow the nervous system to slowly integrate the reality of absence. Water rituals, especially, resonate with many people. Immersion in water mirrors the movement of emotion—fluid, deep, and always changing.
As the body adjusts, signs of healing often emerge subtly. You might notice that food starts to taste again, that you wake up slightly more rested, or that your chest feels less tight. These aren’t signs that grief is gone but that the body is adapting. O’Connor emphasizes that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to hold memories and the present moment at the same time. When your body begins to allow moments of joy or peace—when sunlight on your skin feels pleasant instead of unbearable, or music makes you smile instead of cry—it’s a sign of integration, not betrayal.
Eventually, the body allows space for social connection again. Early in grief, being around others can be exhausting. But over time, as the nervous system settles, your body may be able to engage without feeling so depleted. This doesn't mean returning to who you were before, but finding stability in who you are now—with grief woven into your being, not consuming it. Healing comes not by erasing pain, but by expanding your capacity to carry it.
Ultimately, "The Grieving Body" reframes grief not as a problem to solve, but a process to support. It validates the physical suffering that so often accompanies loss and invites compassion for the body’s response. Rather than pathologizing these changes, O’Connor reminds us that our bodies are wise and resilient, built to survive even the deepest heartbreak. With gentle care, mindful attention, and time, the body can become a vessel not just for pain, but for the transformation that follows. In embracing the full scope of grief—emotional and physical—we allow ourselves to heal in a more complete and lasting way.
When a person you love dies, the change isn't just abstract. Your brain has created an internal map of their presence—how they speak, how they move, how you interact—and when that person is suddenly gone, the body doesn’t just accept it. It searches, aches, and reacts. That’s why people might instinctively look toward the door expecting their loved one to walk in, or feel a physical jolt when hearing a familiar song. This mismatch between expectation and reality causes real, physical tension and stress. Grief manifests as a racing heart, shallow breath, tight shoulders, nausea, or digestive changes. People report feeling like they're wrapped in fog, moving through a world that feels unfamiliar and flat. These reactions aren’t abnormal; they’re the body’s attempt to process a profound rupture.
O’Connor explains that grief activates the nervous system, particularly the sympathetic nervous system—the part that governs the fight-or-flight response. This was once useful in our evolutionary history, as separation from loved ones could mean danger. The brain, flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, reacts to the loss as a crisis. This constant stress load wears down the body, explaining why even basic tasks during early grief can feel exhausting. The brain’s attachment system, a deeply rooted part of our biology, continues searching for the person we've lost. It’s not just metaphorical longing; it’s your brain literally trying to restore a severed connection. Meanwhile, the vagus nerve—responsible for relaying messages between the brain and many vital organs—carries signals of grief throughout the body. That’s why you might feel tightness in your throat, a heavy chest, or gut issues even weeks or months after the loss.
This physiological reaction doesn’t stop at the nervous system. Basic functions like sleep, immunity, and digestion become disrupted. Many grieving individuals suffer from insomnia or restless sleep. Even when they do sleep, it’s often shallow and fails to bring real rest. Deep and REM sleep, which are essential for physical repair and emotional processing, tend to diminish, leaving people waking up tired, foggy, or emotionally raw. The body's internal clock may become skewed, leading to that common 3 a.m. wake-up that so many grieving people experience.
The immune system also takes a hit. Natural killer cells, which defend the body from viruses and potentially cancerous changes, often reduce their activity in the grieving body. Meanwhile, inflammation increases, leaving people vulnerable to illness or flare-ups of chronic conditions. Digestion, too, is affected. The gut, sometimes called the second brain due to its network of neurons, can become hypersensitive. Appetite may vanish or fluctuate wildly. The microbiome—the ecosystem of bacteria in the gut—can shift under the weight of grief, impacting digestion and even mood, as many neurotransmitters are produced in the gut.
Rather than pushing the body to 'get over it,' O’Connor offers strategies to help it through the process. Simple breathwork, such as the 4-7-8 technique—inhaling for four seconds, holding for seven, and exhaling for eight—can calm the nervous system and promote a sense of safety. Physical rituals, like placing a hand on your heart and breathing slowly, remind the body that it is not in immediate danger. These tiny shifts send cues to the brain to slow down, recalibrate, and rest.
Touch, too, plays a healing role. The absence of a loved one often creates a lack of physical affection that the body registers as skin hunger. Gentle self-massage, warm baths, or the comfort of a weighted blanket can all activate oxytocin, a hormone that counters the effects of stress. Even spending time with pets or receiving hugs from others can provide much-needed relief to a grieving body. Nutrition, hydration, and rest also become central. O’Connor suggests focusing not on rigid meal plans but on simple, nourishing foods rich in omega-3s and magnesium—like walnuts, spinach, or fatty fish—which can reduce inflammation and support sleep.
Nature, sound, and movement are other tools for supporting the grieving body. Walking outdoors, especially in the morning sun, helps reset the body’s circadian rhythms. The natural world also creates a state of soft attention—where the senses are gently engaged but not overwhelmed. This soft focus helps lower stress hormones and bring a quiet kind of clarity. Music, especially tunes that mimic the natural rhythm of the body (around 60 beats per minute), can help stabilize heart rate and breathing. Nature sounds and instrumental music can be comforting companions, easing the burden of words when language fails.
One of the most powerful themes in the book is the importance of ritual. Rituals offer a bridge between emotional pain and bodily healing. They provide physical actions through which the body can express and process loss. These don’t have to be elaborate or public. It could be taking a bath while holding an object that belonged to your loved one, creating something with your hands, or drinking tea from their mug. These repeated acts allow the nervous system to slowly integrate the reality of absence. Water rituals, especially, resonate with many people. Immersion in water mirrors the movement of emotion—fluid, deep, and always changing.
As the body adjusts, signs of healing often emerge subtly. You might notice that food starts to taste again, that you wake up slightly more rested, or that your chest feels less tight. These aren’t signs that grief is gone but that the body is adapting. O’Connor emphasizes that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to hold memories and the present moment at the same time. When your body begins to allow moments of joy or peace—when sunlight on your skin feels pleasant instead of unbearable, or music makes you smile instead of cry—it’s a sign of integration, not betrayal.
Eventually, the body allows space for social connection again. Early in grief, being around others can be exhausting. But over time, as the nervous system settles, your body may be able to engage without feeling so depleted. This doesn't mean returning to who you were before, but finding stability in who you are now—with grief woven into your being, not consuming it. Healing comes not by erasing pain, but by expanding your capacity to carry it.
Ultimately, "The Grieving Body" reframes grief not as a problem to solve, but a process to support. It validates the physical suffering that so often accompanies loss and invites compassion for the body’s response. Rather than pathologizing these changes, O’Connor reminds us that our bodies are wise and resilient, built to survive even the deepest heartbreak. With gentle care, mindful attention, and time, the body can become a vessel not just for pain, but for the transformation that follows. In embracing the full scope of grief—emotional and physical—we allow ourselves to heal in a more complete and lasting way.
August 10, 2025
We’ve all had the upset stomach and butterflies from anxiety. Many of us have found ourselves short of breath and even experiencing heart palpitations when we are crying uncontrollably. But did you know just how much grief can affect your body, how it can even change it? This is an interesting book with a lot of science about the mind-body connection, and how we can safely navigate it.
March 14, 2025
The Grieving Body is a game changer, jam packed with EVERYTHING I wish I'd known when I was grieving. Mary-Frances O'Connor is a gift to all grievers, and her latest book is such an easy read - despite the tough topics she covers. I love the combination of studies, science and personal stories and have recommended the book many times already. It's a relief when grievers read and learn that so much of what they're experiencing is a normal and healthy response to loss.
June 27, 2025
On Grief, Attachment and Despair
It took me longer than expected to finish The Grieving Body. Lingering post-Covid symptoms and a recent knee operation slowed me down. In the end, I read the book while simultaneously listening to the author’s own narration on Audible—while pedalling the training bike at the gym. That combination—eyes and ears in motion—became something more than reading. It became an embodied act of accompaniment. And, in truth, it was a gift.
Mary-Frances O’Connor’s way of weaving science, research, and personal experience struck a deep chord. Her writing doesn’t merely inform—it relates. And it reminded me why I, too, try to work in the blurred space between clinical science and lived experience.
Part of the answer is that grief, for me, is no longer just an object of inquiry—it’s an environment I inhabit. And yet it also drives me to ask new questions. Could it be that despair—particularly the cognitive and affective shutdown of acute grief—is not merely a dysfunction, but serves specific neurobiological functions?
To explore that, we have to consider what grief is for. From an attachment perspective, the answer is profoundly human. John Bowlby’s pioneering work in attachment theory showed that our earliest emotional bonds—especially with caregivers—are foundational not only for survival, but for building internal models of safety, trust, and connection. These attachment systems remain active throughout life, not just in infancy. When we lose someone central to that system, the mind does not merely register “absence”—it initiates a complex, adaptive process of protest, yearning, despair, and—eventually—reorganisation.
And this reorganisation is not abstract. It must extend across every neural layer of association and anticipation. All our future memories—prospective memories—all our plans, all our expectations, all our longings must be revised. Every time we recollect or encounter something that touches upon the person we have lost, the brain must engage again in this painful act of reorientation. Grief, in this sense, is recursive: a sustained effort to metabolise absence in the very circuits that were once shaped by presence.
In Bowlby’s terms, grief is not a pathology but a signalling system gone searching: an expectant brain still anticipating reunion, still activating the attachment bond in the face of its impossibility. What we call despair might, then, be a part of this neurological and psychological reprogramming—a temporary collapse of orientation while the system scrambles to update its predictive map of closeness and care.
What if despair, then, has a function in the awake brain—not merely suspending executive operations because of suffering, but enabling the reconfiguration of the attachment system, the reconsolidation of memory, and a kind of relational clearing?
O’Connor’s work, along with Lisa Feldman Barrett’s theory of constructed emotion and Bud Craig’s findings on interoception and psychic pain, offers partial frames for such questions. Joseph LeDoux’s research on memory reconsolidation further deepens the picture, showing how emotional memories are not simply retrieved but actively rewritten each time they are recalled—rendered labile and open to change before being stored again. Together, these frameworks suggest that what we call emotion is not merely reactive—it is predictive, embodied, plastic, and metabolically grounded.
And that led me to speculate and wonder: could despair be a kind of cognitive hibernation? Not a failure, but a neuropsychological function—a temporary retreat into an awake, slow-wave, glymphatic terrain, where the mind disengages from the external world in order to redraw its models of meaning, belonging, and self.
I don’t know, of course. Perhaps it is more metaphor than mechanism. Perhaps the distinction doesn’t matter. But this is the terrain where I now live—between memory and theory, between trauma and integration. And it is work like O’Connor’s that helps us begin to give form, if not resolution, to the aching complexities of loss.
It took me longer than expected to finish The Grieving Body. Lingering post-Covid symptoms and a recent knee operation slowed me down. In the end, I read the book while simultaneously listening to the author’s own narration on Audible—while pedalling the training bike at the gym. That combination—eyes and ears in motion—became something more than reading. It became an embodied act of accompaniment. And, in truth, it was a gift.
Mary-Frances O’Connor’s way of weaving science, research, and personal experience struck a deep chord. Her writing doesn’t merely inform—it relates. And it reminded me why I, too, try to work in the blurred space between clinical science and lived experience.
Part of the answer is that grief, for me, is no longer just an object of inquiry—it’s an environment I inhabit. And yet it also drives me to ask new questions. Could it be that despair—particularly the cognitive and affective shutdown of acute grief—is not merely a dysfunction, but serves specific neurobiological functions?
To explore that, we have to consider what grief is for. From an attachment perspective, the answer is profoundly human. John Bowlby’s pioneering work in attachment theory showed that our earliest emotional bonds—especially with caregivers—are foundational not only for survival, but for building internal models of safety, trust, and connection. These attachment systems remain active throughout life, not just in infancy. When we lose someone central to that system, the mind does not merely register “absence”—it initiates a complex, adaptive process of protest, yearning, despair, and—eventually—reorganisation.
And this reorganisation is not abstract. It must extend across every neural layer of association and anticipation. All our future memories—prospective memories—all our plans, all our expectations, all our longings must be revised. Every time we recollect or encounter something that touches upon the person we have lost, the brain must engage again in this painful act of reorientation. Grief, in this sense, is recursive: a sustained effort to metabolise absence in the very circuits that were once shaped by presence.
In Bowlby’s terms, grief is not a pathology but a signalling system gone searching: an expectant brain still anticipating reunion, still activating the attachment bond in the face of its impossibility. What we call despair might, then, be a part of this neurological and psychological reprogramming—a temporary collapse of orientation while the system scrambles to update its predictive map of closeness and care.
What if despair, then, has a function in the awake brain—not merely suspending executive operations because of suffering, but enabling the reconfiguration of the attachment system, the reconsolidation of memory, and a kind of relational clearing?
O’Connor’s work, along with Lisa Feldman Barrett’s theory of constructed emotion and Bud Craig’s findings on interoception and psychic pain, offers partial frames for such questions. Joseph LeDoux’s research on memory reconsolidation further deepens the picture, showing how emotional memories are not simply retrieved but actively rewritten each time they are recalled—rendered labile and open to change before being stored again. Together, these frameworks suggest that what we call emotion is not merely reactive—it is predictive, embodied, plastic, and metabolically grounded.
And that led me to speculate and wonder: could despair be a kind of cognitive hibernation? Not a failure, but a neuropsychological function—a temporary retreat into an awake, slow-wave, glymphatic terrain, where the mind disengages from the external world in order to redraw its models of meaning, belonging, and self.
I don’t know, of course. Perhaps it is more metaphor than mechanism. Perhaps the distinction doesn’t matter. But this is the terrain where I now live—between memory and theory, between trauma and integration. And it is work like O’Connor’s that helps us begin to give form, if not resolution, to the aching complexities of loss.
September 17, 2025
Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor's follow-up book, The Grieving Body, is so profoundly helpful that I would have given it 10 stars if they were offered. As a grief counselor and founder of griefHaven, I and my team of grief therapists and counselors regularly use the clear and concise research of Dr. O'Connor's work. She has dedicated her life, something rarely seen, to the world of death and grief, paving the way for everyone who is grieving to not only understand "what" is happening to them but also "why." This lends itself to giving hope where there is none. Why and how? Because knowing what is going on in the brain and body allows supporters to help each person find an approach that will actually change their brain. It also gives our clients hope through normalizing what those who are grieving often refer to as being and feeling like they are going crazy. "No you aren't going crazy. You are grieving." For them to understand that it's what our brains and bodies do when they have been thunderstruck by what feels like an insurmountable loss, helps them take in those deep breaths, calm down, and continue to do the grief work at hand, even when they cannot "see" the impact it is having.
As an example of the power within the insights in this special book, one of the things we at griefHaven use in our work is forms of meditation--those we know change the brain. Yet for those who are suffering the unrelenting sorrow day in and day out of loss, it takes time to impact the brain such that they begin to experience the impact that meditation is having on them, much like learning to play the piano or a new language. By using the knowledge in Dr. O'Connor's book about why it does take time, it gives the griever the impetus to keep meditating and trust the process.
Both of Dr. O'Connor's books, The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body are written so that anyone, not only clinicians, can read and understand what is being said with clear and concise writing and explanations everyone can relate to. I regularly recommend her books. In fact, griefHaven purchased enough of each book to hand them out to our therapists and counselors and made them both required reading to work with us.
Thank you to Dr. O'Connor for dedicating her life to studying grief in all its forms and then bringing her findings to the world. Grief is a subject that most people don't want to talk about, little alone dedicate their careers to. The combination of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body gives everyone a full overall view of how powerful loss is on each individual and what we can actually do about it, versus the approach taken until most recently, which is sweep it under the rug, tough it out, and only deal with it when forced to by a personal tragedy.
As an example of the power within the insights in this special book, one of the things we at griefHaven use in our work is forms of meditation--those we know change the brain. Yet for those who are suffering the unrelenting sorrow day in and day out of loss, it takes time to impact the brain such that they begin to experience the impact that meditation is having on them, much like learning to play the piano or a new language. By using the knowledge in Dr. O'Connor's book about why it does take time, it gives the griever the impetus to keep meditating and trust the process.
Both of Dr. O'Connor's books, The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body are written so that anyone, not only clinicians, can read and understand what is being said with clear and concise writing and explanations everyone can relate to. I regularly recommend her books. In fact, griefHaven purchased enough of each book to hand them out to our therapists and counselors and made them both required reading to work with us.
Thank you to Dr. O'Connor for dedicating her life to studying grief in all its forms and then bringing her findings to the world. Grief is a subject that most people don't want to talk about, little alone dedicate their careers to. The combination of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body gives everyone a full overall view of how powerful loss is on each individual and what we can actually do about it, versus the approach taken until most recently, which is sweep it under the rug, tough it out, and only deal with it when forced to by a personal tragedy.
June 23, 2025
Review is also available on my site: https://roxannacross.com/2025/06/23/b...
The author narrates the audiobook, available on Amazon. It’s not easy to listen to, as grief is a raw emotion. How O’Connor peels back the layers, exposing every aspect of the grieving process and how it impacts every organ and system in our body, can be a trigger if you are navigating through grief yourself. Therefore, read or listen at your own pace.
O’Connor puts into words the neuroscience behind grief explaining how the body responds to it by sharing a multitude of medical information on the body by detailing the impacts it will have on our immune system, liver, lungs, brain, and our hearts providing the reader with an understanding of what they may be experiencing, feeling, but are unable to put into words themselves as they grieve which can be give them a sense of reassurance in the “I am not alone” this is normal, others also go through this and survive. She shares her personal experience of loss and the physical and mental symptoms she suffered, which is both genuine and relatable.
This book resembles Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score. Both offer a great wealth of information, and while they are not easy to read since the topics aren’t light and breezy, they are worth the read or listen. O’Connor is thorough and knowledgeable, and her openness makes her easy to relate to, which makes this book a 3.5-star one.
The author narrates the audiobook, available on Amazon. It’s not easy to listen to, as grief is a raw emotion. How O’Connor peels back the layers, exposing every aspect of the grieving process and how it impacts every organ and system in our body, can be a trigger if you are navigating through grief yourself. Therefore, read or listen at your own pace.
O’Connor puts into words the neuroscience behind grief explaining how the body responds to it by sharing a multitude of medical information on the body by detailing the impacts it will have on our immune system, liver, lungs, brain, and our hearts providing the reader with an understanding of what they may be experiencing, feeling, but are unable to put into words themselves as they grieve which can be give them a sense of reassurance in the “I am not alone” this is normal, others also go through this and survive. She shares her personal experience of loss and the physical and mental symptoms she suffered, which is both genuine and relatable.
This book resembles Van der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score. Both offer a great wealth of information, and while they are not easy to read since the topics aren’t light and breezy, they are worth the read or listen. O’Connor is thorough and knowledgeable, and her openness makes her easy to relate to, which makes this book a 3.5-star one.
September 23, 2025
"Grief is one of the most painful human experiences. While e are familiar with the psychological and emotional aspects of grief and sorrow, we often overlook their impact on our physical bodies. Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor specializes in the study of grief, and in The Grieving Body she shares vital scientific research, revealing new insights on its profound physiological impact and the larger implications for our long-term well-being.
The Grieving Body addresses questions about how bereavement affect us, such as:
℘ Can we die of a broken heart?
℘What happens in our bodies when we're grieving?
℘How do our coping behaviors affect our physical health?
℘What is the cognitive impact of grief?
℘Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress?
An essential, hopeful read for those experiencing loss, as well as for their supportive friends and family.
~~front flap
The book is an amazing journey through the human body and the various ways it reacts to grief, Quite an eye opener! Did you know that grieving can result in brain fog? As well as myriad other distractions and conditions.
The Grieving Body addresses questions about how bereavement affect us, such as:
℘ Can we die of a broken heart?
℘What happens in our bodies when we're grieving?
℘How do our coping behaviors affect our physical health?
℘What is the cognitive impact of grief?
℘Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress?
An essential, hopeful read for those experiencing loss, as well as for their supportive friends and family.
~~front flap
The book is an amazing journey through the human body and the various ways it reacts to grief, Quite an eye opener! Did you know that grieving can result in brain fog? As well as myriad other distractions and conditions.
April 19, 2025
Grief lives in your heart and every other aspect of your body
Your body carries the weight of loss
It is physical and emotional but the physical aspects aren’t as discussed
The body has wisdom
The process is natural and grieving is natural
“grief manifests physically through predictable patterns in your nervous system. These patterns affect sleep, immunity, and digestion, as your brain works to reconcile the absence of someone important. Your bodily responses to grief aren’t signs of weakness but natural processes designed to help you adapt to profound change, even as they create challenging symptoms like fatigue and heightened stress responses.
Supporting your body during grief involves gentle practices like breathing techniques, good nutrition, and time in nature – all of which help regulate your nervous system and aid emotional processing. Creating personal healing rituals gives your grief tangible expression, while recognizing subtle improvements signals that integration is underway and healing has begun.”
Your body carries the weight of loss
It is physical and emotional but the physical aspects aren’t as discussed
The body has wisdom
The process is natural and grieving is natural
“grief manifests physically through predictable patterns in your nervous system. These patterns affect sleep, immunity, and digestion, as your brain works to reconcile the absence of someone important. Your bodily responses to grief aren’t signs of weakness but natural processes designed to help you adapt to profound change, even as they create challenging symptoms like fatigue and heightened stress responses.
Supporting your body during grief involves gentle practices like breathing techniques, good nutrition, and time in nature – all of which help regulate your nervous system and aid emotional processing. Creating personal healing rituals gives your grief tangible expression, while recognizing subtle improvements signals that integration is underway and healing has begun.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 5, 2025
I found The Grieving Body by Mary-Frances O'Connor, PhD a fascinating read. It amazed me how the human body responds to grief physiologically in a myriad of ways. Grief impacts ALL of the components which make us who we are - our mind, our spirit, and our physical body as well. It's no wonder it can affect us so deeply!
The book is well researched and documents several studies on grief and grieving. It can be "heavy" at times, but O'Connor presents information well. She also makes it a relatable read by including her personal anecdotes and things she learned throughout her own grieving experiences.
My thanks to Harper One for allowing me to access a DRC of the book via NetGalley. Publication is 2/11/25. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and are freely given.
The book is well researched and documents several studies on grief and grieving. It can be "heavy" at times, but O'Connor presents information well. She also makes it a relatable read by including her personal anecdotes and things she learned throughout her own grieving experiences.
My thanks to Harper One for allowing me to access a DRC of the book via NetGalley. Publication is 2/11/25. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and are freely given.
June 1, 2025
Really enjoyed this read. Very validating and important to have some acknowledgement as in this book. Further understanding gained about grief in this book. I feel further research is so very necessary in this field but death and dying often gets neglected. No one wants to talk about it all. But knowing and understanding it all will help you and it will help you help others. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone. Looking forward to her other book too about the grieving brain/mind.
June 13, 2025
Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor has done it again; The Grieving Body is a deeply moving and eye-opening masterpiece. With warmth, empathy, and scientific clarity, she reveals how grief doesn’t just touch the heart, it lives in the body. Her research-based insights gave me a new understanding of how loss affects us physically, and how healing can begin from the inside out. This book is both a comfort and a guide, offering hope to anyone walking through sorrow. A must-read for those grieving, and for those who care enough to walk beside them.
January 8, 2026
This took me awhile to finish as it was very heavy dealing with death, loss, and grieving loved ones. All
topics I have unfortunately been dealt with in the last ten years, over and over again.
The author was very knowledgeable and related a lot of stories to her own. I read some and listened to the rest through Spotify. I think it would have been more beneficial for me to read all of it, so I could focus/reflect to what she was saying. However; it was a good read!
topics I have unfortunately been dealt with in the last ten years, over and over again.
The author was very knowledgeable and related a lot of stories to her own. I read some and listened to the rest through Spotify. I think it would have been more beneficial for me to read all of it, so I could focus/reflect to what she was saying. However; it was a good read!
Want to read
March 13, 2025Andover - Memorial Hall Library155.937 O'CO
Boxford Town Library 155.937 OCO
Georgetown Peabody Library 155.937 O'CONNOR
Haverhill Public Library 155.937/O'CONNER M
Lowell - Pollard Memorial Library155.937 OCO
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North Reading - Flint Memorial Library 155.937 OCO
Boxford Town Library 155.937 OCO
Georgetown Peabody Library 155.937 O'CONNOR
Haverhill Public Library 155.937/O'CONNER M
Lowell - Pollard Memorial Library155.937 OCO
Methuen - Nevins Memorial Library155.937 OCO
North Reading - Flint Memorial Library 155.937 OCO
July 23, 2025
So much of the book I found very fascinating. I would recommend this to many people, especially those dealing with grief or caring about someone who is experiencing grief. However, I felt the author used her own examples far too frequently, making it feel more like a journal or vent session for her rather than a book based on research
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 10, 2026
3.5 stars. Pretty decent book. I was a little disappointed with all the writing about loss linked to chronic disease compared to loss of a loved one. The book is well written and has useful tidbits, but I’ve read more useful books on grief. Also, not much about traumatic loss vs loss after illness, which would have been really interesting, since traumatic loss affects everything so deeply.
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