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Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships
It's no surprise that our culture is addicted to "love". The sappy love songs, the enticing ads for romantic getaways and the desire to be cherished by a special someone will never lose their appeal. But for some women, this poses a significant problem. Because of their insatiable desire for love, they will do anything to find it and ultimately land in destructive addictive relationships over and over again causing incredible harm.
This newly revised and expanded edition of Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path to living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women. A newly added chapter on "Mother Hunger" explores the role of the mother in infancy and how she ultimately impacts a daughter's ability to have healthy intimate relationships later in life.
Break free from the chains of addictive relationships that sabotage happiness and self-respect.
This newly revised and expanded edition of Ready to Heal provides an opportunity for women to break free from painful addictive relationships. Kelly McDaniel provides the reader with the tools they will need to move along the path to living a life where intimacy is possible. Readers have an opportunity to begin to "connect the dots" in their own relationship patterns by following the stories of four brave women. A newly added chapter on "Mother Hunger" explores the role of the mother in infancy and how she ultimately impacts a daughter's ability to have healthy intimate relationships later in life.
Break free from the chains of addictive relationships that sabotage happiness and self-respect.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 25, 2012
66 people are currently reading
325 people want to read
About the author
Kelly McDaniel
28 books88 followersHi, I’m Kelly.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’d like to introduce myself. To start, this website is my professional “self”. While I bring my whole self to the work that I do, I will focus on the evolution of my practice in this section.
I consider myself a psychotherapist who happened to write two books. My friends and colleagues who are “true” writers seem to enjoy the process of writing more than I do. The solitary nature of it, the creative juiciness of if, the thrill of finding the right word(s). Writing is hard, even if it’s a true calling. As much as I love the power of language, I prefer clinical work where much of what is “said” requires no words.
My first book, Ready to Heal: Helping Women Heal from Addictive Relationships, responded to a need I was seeing early on in my practice ~ specifically, women showing up with addictive relational patterns. Most of the literature available to help them was geared toward men. There was no mention of the toxic culture that creates “love/sex addiction”. In other words, there was very little mention of patriarchy in the literature.
Ready to Heal includes 4 cultural beliefs that I believe women inherit in a misogynistic system where our bodies are objectified and targeted; where women grow up knowing sexual fear.
Additionally, as I listened to my clients’ stories, I heard a similar, haunting theme…a primitive, tender longing for “mom”. So, without a lot of science behind me, I named “Mother Hunger” as an attachment injury that creates a climate for love to become addictive. This was 2008 before we were talking much about Attachment Theory or ACE’s, and certainly we weren’t discussing complex PTSD.
The term struck a nerve. Colleagues either dismissed me or were intrigued. But overwhelmingly, my clients experienced a resonance with the name that helped their bodies sigh with relief.
Since then, I’ve devoted myself to nurturing insecure attachment and maternal deprivation in adult women. It became very clear that Mother Hunger needed her own book, so I compiled all the research I had been doing since 2008 and published my second book, Mother Hunger; How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance (Hay House,2021).
Mother Hunger was a much harder book to write than the first one. For one reason, I was afraid. My greatest fear was that I might somehow contribute to the impossible load mothers carry every day. Each word took immeasurable attention and love to avoid this possibility.
Another reason is that like many of you who have read the book or are reading the book, I am a mother. Each chapter brought me face to face with ways I failed to attach to my child like I had hoped I could. Like I had fantasized I would. (and I already knew a lot of stuff!)
But my body carried untreated heartbreak from my own childhood, and as we know now, our intellect and rational thinking is no match for untreated trauma.
Maybe you feel Mother Hunger yourself and are looking for professional guidance in your healing process. Or maybe you’re a professional wanting to better guide your clients on their healing path. Maybe you want a speaker for your next event. No matter how you’ve arrived, I’ve designed this site to be a resource for you.
With love and hope,
Kelly.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’d like to introduce myself. To start, this website is my professional “self”. While I bring my whole self to the work that I do, I will focus on the evolution of my practice in this section.
I consider myself a psychotherapist who happened to write two books. My friends and colleagues who are “true” writers seem to enjoy the process of writing more than I do. The solitary nature of it, the creative juiciness of if, the thrill of finding the right word(s). Writing is hard, even if it’s a true calling. As much as I love the power of language, I prefer clinical work where much of what is “said” requires no words.
My first book, Ready to Heal: Helping Women Heal from Addictive Relationships, responded to a need I was seeing early on in my practice ~ specifically, women showing up with addictive relational patterns. Most of the literature available to help them was geared toward men. There was no mention of the toxic culture that creates “love/sex addiction”. In other words, there was very little mention of patriarchy in the literature.
Ready to Heal includes 4 cultural beliefs that I believe women inherit in a misogynistic system where our bodies are objectified and targeted; where women grow up knowing sexual fear.
Additionally, as I listened to my clients’ stories, I heard a similar, haunting theme…a primitive, tender longing for “mom”. So, without a lot of science behind me, I named “Mother Hunger” as an attachment injury that creates a climate for love to become addictive. This was 2008 before we were talking much about Attachment Theory or ACE’s, and certainly we weren’t discussing complex PTSD.
The term struck a nerve. Colleagues either dismissed me or were intrigued. But overwhelmingly, my clients experienced a resonance with the name that helped their bodies sigh with relief.
Since then, I’ve devoted myself to nurturing insecure attachment and maternal deprivation in adult women. It became very clear that Mother Hunger needed her own book, so I compiled all the research I had been doing since 2008 and published my second book, Mother Hunger; How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance (Hay House,2021).
Mother Hunger was a much harder book to write than the first one. For one reason, I was afraid. My greatest fear was that I might somehow contribute to the impossible load mothers carry every day. Each word took immeasurable attention and love to avoid this possibility.
Another reason is that like many of you who have read the book or are reading the book, I am a mother. Each chapter brought me face to face with ways I failed to attach to my child like I had hoped I could. Like I had fantasized I would. (and I already knew a lot of stuff!)
But my body carried untreated heartbreak from my own childhood, and as we know now, our intellect and rational thinking is no match for untreated trauma.
Maybe you feel Mother Hunger yourself and are looking for professional guidance in your healing process. Or maybe you’re a professional wanting to better guide your clients on their healing path. Maybe you want a speaker for your next event. No matter how you’ve arrived, I’ve designed this site to be a resource for you.
With love and hope,
Kelly.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
May 4, 2024
Took a while to get through. Very difficult and also healing.
February 25, 2018
Out of all of the books I have read on addictive relationships, this one is in the top. The beginning is slow, but eventually it is filled with helpful ideas. There were scenarios in this that i could relate to quite a bit. It was helpful to hear things put into perspective and opened my eyes to actions I have denied. Typically I am not one to highlight in books, but I did in this one, so I can go back to reference points when I'm feeling weak. Healing from these kinds of relationships are extremely difficult, because unless someone has experienced this kind of abuse, you just don't get it. Often we end up on this healing path alone and it can be scary and overwhelming. This wasn't just about sex addiction, it can relate to any kind of addictive relationship.
February 9, 2020
I found a lot of similarities and a new understanding of attachment and relationships. Many of the examples gave me insights, not only into myself, but my close female friends and my mother as well. I think I finished the book with more understanding, compassion and acceptance of myself and women in general... really eye and heart opening and informative. Give it a read, even if you don’t experience sex and love addiction, you will learn a lot about yourself and other women you know!
November 7, 2019
The most helpful book I've read on the topic of "love and sex addiction". I really dislike that terminology, but as a process, it's obviously so clear.
January 17, 2021
Beautiful and hard hitting. A brief but impactful insight on sex and love addiction and the childhood pain we do our best to heal as adults.
March 23, 2021
Game changer
November 8, 2020
Loved this book
Ive read all the big famous books on trauma and this little gem was just really special for me. Maybe because the focus was on women.
Ive read all the big famous books on trauma and this little gem was just really special for me. Maybe because the focus was on women.
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January 10, 2014es facil estar en una relacion adictiva sin darse cuenta
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews