All the Scary Little Gods: A Memoir

by Natalie Hoffman

"You don't know God." The church elder’s eyes locked on me from across the conference table. “He’s absent from your narrative.”

The room went woozy, and I struggled to bring my brain back online, managing to sputter, “God is the center of my narrative!”

But he wasn’t listening. He already had his story about me.

Here’s mine.

Raised to believe her life’s purpose was to please God and everyone around her by dying to herself and her own needs, a religiously programmed “good girl” must grow up to confront all the scary little gods in order to break free from an abusive marriage and religious community. Join her as she creatively takes the reader on a spiritual quest from the perspective of the different parts of her psyche. Witness her sometimes confusing, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes humorous attempts to be loved by being as good as possible. When her house of cards crumbles around her, she finally lets go only to discover that while she would never be perfect, she would always be perfectly loved.

Praise for All the Scary Little Gods"Natalie's writing is vibrant and deeply intimate. The innocence, honesty, and humor (seriously, she is so funny sometimes) that Natalie breathes into her storytelling makes All the Scary Little Gods both deeply personal and remarkably universal. If you have struggled with reconciling the harmful ways that twisted theology has entrapped you while simultaneously struggling to embrace the beautiful and freeing parts of your faith, this book will guide you.

—Tiffany Yecke Brooks, PhD, Author of Gaslighted by Reconstructing a Disillusioned Faith

“What a journey. Thank you, Natalie, for taking us readers on such a heartbreaking liberation journey. Truly, the words in this book come from a bruised and wise sage who has lived through hell to speak to such heaven. All the Scary Little Gods helps me believe more deeply in the truth of the gospel.”

—Dr. Andrew J. Bauman, Author of SAFE How to Guard Against Sexism & Abuse in Christian Communities

“All the Scary Little Gods is an achingly beautiful and wonderfully creative glimpse into a healing self-awareness where we meet with our earlier selves in empathy and converse with them in kindness.”

—Rick Pidcock, Religion Writer at Baptist News Global

“Natalie not only shares with us a clear understanding of her past trauma in poignant and sometimes even humorous vignettes, but she then brilliantly pairs those alongside her present view of God in a safe, inviting, and therapeutic method; this book is like a therapy session in a memoir.”

—Emily Elizabeth Anderson, Founder of Thriving Forward

"For every woman whose voice has been silenced, Natalie Hoffman wants to let them ROAR!"

—Sheila Wray Gregoire, Author of The Great Sex Rescue

"I recommend this book for those who are longing for camaraderie and support in the excruciating journey of healing from spiritual abuse and trauma through holding an empathetic witness to each other’s experiences.”

—Naomi Norton, PhD, LCMFT, LMFT

"Natalie has one of the clearest and most powerful voices in the world of helping people find freedom.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Christian, Biography Memoir, Marriage

395 pages, Paperback

Published February 19, 2024

About the author

Natalie Hoffman is an author, educator, advocate, host of the Flying Free podcast, and founder of the Flying Free and Flying Higher programs for Christian women recovering from emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships and religious environments. She writes articles on her website, flyingfreenow.com. Take her emotional abuse quiz and find out if your relationship is emotionally abusive by going to emotionalabusequiz.com

Reviews

[SUZANNE ROBERTSON · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie Hoffman’s book “All the Scary Little Gods” is an offering of validation for women in confusing and power imbalanced relationships. Natalie narrates so clearly the day-to-day systematic passive aggressive, and insidious contempt that was the air she breathed during her upbringing, first marriage and religious life. Women in this situation can be so taken in that they continually go to their knees in prayer and then inject the same attitudes and behaviors into their own children. Natalie conveys years and years of penetrating oppression akin to a snowball gaining size, density and speed nipping at her heels as she raced to what was believed to be the pinnacle - God’s Grace. As I continue reading Natalie’s shared memories, I felt a heaviness of the relentless piling on of repeated overwhelming suffocation she had to endure from family and clergy. The weight of which seemed to bury alive the personhood who at one time was the once eager, full of life and love Little Natalie. I found myself cheering on some of Natalie’s parts and wanting others to scream out their agony to end their mistreatment. Natalie’s description of her realizations and growth throughout the book were palpable. At some points I found myself almost yelling out in triumph for her!
I loved “All the Scary Little Gods”, I didn’t want it to end. Like a reality tv show, I am endeared to Natalie and her children and want to keep cheering them on as they progress through life. Maybe there will be a sequel?
How brave Natalie is to lay bare her own journaled thoughts, feelings and emotions. Grown up Natalie has done justice for Little Natalie and all her parts. And I have always had a need to see the good guys win at the end of a story.
Suzanne R.

[Jenn Donkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished All the Scary Little Gods, Natalie, and WOW. It’s hard to put into words just how deeply it has impacted me. Some of the experiences you described so bravely, honestly and vulnerably have been similar to my own, and learning how you walked through them and got to the other side has given me the hope of doing the same, although I am only a little way down the path. I learned a lot from the interactions between your Rosy, Spiritualizer, and Rude parts! Thank you for sharing your journey. Thank you for letting other Christian women know they are not alone, or crazy, or wrong for standing up for themselves and taking care of the only adult person on this planet that they are truly responsible for. Thank you for sharing and reinforcing the truth that God is bigger than all the petty, tiny man-made gods so many of us have come to equate Him with. Hopefully some church leaders will read it and begin to realize how harmful many of the current “Christian” teachings are regarding women, marriage, divorce, and emotional abuse. Thank you for writing this book, Natalie - I think it will help many women for many years to come. I know it has helped me!

[Claire Koenigsaecker · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the Scary Little Gods is a beautifully written memoir about Christian and cultural programming that most women experience. I was fascinated by the experiences that I have also had, and I'm sure many other Christians have. I couldn't put it down and read it all in one day. Natalie Hoffman did a masterful job of telling her story through different styles. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

[Maile · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything about this book. It is funny, heartfelt, inspiring, moving, and tear filled. I can’t really summarize it because in a very unique way, I believe it speaks to each person individually. All I can say is that I highly recommend it to all my BFFs. And I will keep recommending it to all my “sisters in my tribe” that have been through the butterfly journey, are in the metamorphosis stage of change, or are going to enter a hard, scary period of change. That’s all of us. This memoir authentically shares a journey that I could relate to in my young adult, trying-to-figure-myself-out years. It’s a journey I can NOW relate to in my faith, womanhood, and motherhood. Without sharing spoilers, I can only say that this memoir moved me to tears, made me laugh out loud, encouraged me to love the my little girl self inside me, and reminded me of God’s loving fingerprints that are all over my own life. Thank you to the author, Natalie Hoffman, for helping me look deeper into my own heart and story by honestly sharing yours. What a gift to readers!

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully poignant and heart-wrenching story of one courageous woman’s tenacious journey back to her true self, and true Love found in the One who created and delights in her. Tender, insightful, empowering and impactful.

[Tereasa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hoffman could have stopped her book at the end of Chapter 75 for a feel-good ending. Instead, she continues her story, showing us that things don’t always get put neatly back at the end. Life is real, raw and rough. By inviting her readers into her continued story, she becomes a witness to their pain, inviting them to a path of spiritual, emotional, and relational healing!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

We love stories. Stories, whether spoken, written, or acted out, are an integral part of the human experience. They are how we make sense of our lives. A story illuminates when other methods fail. There's a reason Jesus taught using parables. It's effective.

In All the Scary Little Gods, Natalie deftly wields the power of her own story to explore the damage that the prevalent Evangelical culture does to its people. This is an important book because one of the most harmful things that shame-based religion does is that it makes us feel like we are the only ones who are struggling. It isolates. This book aims to be an "empathetic witness" (if you're wondering what I'm talking about, read the book!), and it succeeds brilliantly. Told in vignettes, it is easy to read and immensely relatable.

This is a very real story, warts and all, which, can I say, is very endearing. What courage it must have taken to dredge up old memories and expose them to the light like this. If you are looking for a shiny golden superwoman telling you how to fix your life, you won't find one here. Natalie possesses no arcane powers. She is an ordinary, messy woman, with an ordinary, messy life, who found freedom in challenging all the scary little gods in her life and seeking out Truth and Love. Love saturates this book—both the love of Creator God and the love of adult Natalie for her younger self—and it's a fierce, wildly beautiful, incandescent Love.

In Part One, I laughed—and cried a little—as the author wrote about never being quite sure of her salvation and feeling the need to pray "the prayer" again and again. Me too, Natalie. Me too. I cheered on Little Natalie as I spotted the seeds of what she would one day become. It encouraged me to connect with my own younger self and explore those dreams that I had pushed to the side.

In Part Two, written as a conversation between the different parts of Natalie's psyche, I wanted to give a gleeful high five to Rude. Rude is the truth teller. She is the one who loudly cries that the emperor has no clothes. I know I could stand to pay a lot more attention to the Rude in my own mind.

A few chapters brought me to tears (48, 72, and 79). I'd love to read the whole thing to my teenagers, but perhaps especially chapters 87 and 88. (And lest you become alarmed at the sheer number of chapters, don't despair. They're all very short!) And if you’re looking for an explanation of what it feels like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship, chapter 59 contains a piercingly on-point analogy.

All the Scary Little Gods is poignant, heartbreaking, wryly funny, hope-filled, and, ultimately, triumphant. And the story's not over yet.

[Linda Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A woman in a painful marriage in a conservative Christian circle is ashamed, confused, and deeply hurting. There are few if any places she can go for help and understanding. Her church leaders, whom she trusts, will only send her back to be hurt more. Her friends and family may not understand why she can’t just leave. She is in a complicated trap where all the forces within her and around her are working against her. All the Scary Little Gods will help you understand that and act in compassion and understanding, whether you are someone close to that woman or whether she is you.
If you have a friend, sister, loved one in a conservative religious environment who seems to be drowning in her marriage… or if that person is you… please get this book and read it and give it to her on the sly or get her the Kindle edition so she can read it in private. Also read it yourself so you can understand the complexities of the web that is holding her in this place that is harming her: this candid and compassionate book will definitely help you understand what is going on with her and the many forces acting on her to keep her where she is. This book will help you be supportive and present for her as she struggles with the reality she is in and what to do about it. This book will equip you to be a good friend/sister/mom to your struggling loved one and have a very clear idea of what she is going through in her home and at the hands of her church if she reaches out for help. This is currently an epidemic in the evangelical church and Natalie’s story tells it clearly with compassion, humor, heartbreak, and hope. The book is eminently readable and engaging. She tells her story candidly in a way that is relatable and true to life for countless women.
If you are a conservative woman in a marriage that is harming you and that is not changing or is only getting worse year after year despite your efforts, please read this. Natalie untangles the many different threads that are holding you bound. I also recommend Natalie’s other book, “Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage” for a different take on the subject. “Is it Me?” is a readable and informative self-help book that analyzes what you may be facing, and All the Scary Little Gods is a personal story. Both are very helpful and entirely different. All the Scary Little Gods is a riveting and relatable personal story that tells a hard truth and also takes your hand and doesn’t let go. You don’t need to be afraid to step into this book because she will walk through it with you to a place of safety. Ultimately it is a story of redemption and the good love of a God who is far better than all the scary little gods of her religious world.
If you’ve watched your friend struggling in a marriage that is taking the life out of her and wondered “Why doesn’t she leave?” or if you’ve reasoned “It can’t be that bad” – or if perhaps you are a church member or religious leader who may have people in your congregation who are suffering like this – All the Scary Little Gods will help you be sensitive to what they are experiencing, give them a compassionate listening ear and not just send them back into harm.
All the Scary Little Gods will let you compassionately listen to the struggle of your loved one who is confused by the conflicting forces and teachings at work in her. It will empower you to listen with care instead of judgment. It will prepare you to ask thoughtful questions and provide her the support she so desperately needs.
Natalie shows hope of both a life beyond that trap and a God who is greater, more loving, and not limited the rules of the scary little gods. It’s a journey through heartbreak to hope. Please read this book.

[Stacie B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is so much to say about this book. Being a part of this journey with Natalie has given me hope and encouragement that none of us are alone on this journey of life. Her vulnerability and willingness to share the sacred parts of her journey touch lives and hearts of so many. Thank you for being you, Natalie and sharing the love.

[Sherri Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful perspective
on the life of a woman caught in an emotionally, mentally, and spiritully abusive marriage. She believes all the dreams she had of being a loving wife and mother ended when she married an abuser. How did she get there? She then learns, through all the devastation, how to change her life and her beliefs about herself.

This book relies heavily on the Internal Family Systems theory, or IFS, which is "a way of looking at ourselves that recognizes we each have different parts inside of us, and those parts have their own beliefs or programming based on our life experiences." By going back and processing her life through this new lens, she finds peace and a better way for her and her kids.

It is a great read and helps the reader understand more clearly what emotional abuse looks like, how it happens in a woman's life, and how she can find her way out.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I found Natalie and her story and community. She is a tremendous help in navigating confusing relationships- spiritual, marital and even the relationship with yourself. This book was so relatable to me. From young Natalie and all her experiences shaping her to the tornado of multiple thoughts and emotions as she strives for acceptance and love. Natalie's story is sweet, funny, heartbreaking and triumphant. I highly recommend it.

[Gretchen Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been a listener to Natalie Hoffman’s podcast since about the beginning. I remember when I first stumbled across it and it was like she was speaking directly to me. The same is true for her latest book!

I’ve also been a member of Flying Free, her support and coaching group for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages, since 2021. I’ve heard pieces of her life story over the years, but I loved reading it all laid out as a memoir.

The vignettes of her childhood were probably my favorite part, as she puts a voice to the thoughts that went through our brains as kids as we struggled to make sense of the Bible and Christianity and all of its rules and lessons and hypocrisies. All of that speaks to me on so many levels, and demonstrates clearly how women are groomed to submit and give their power over to others in pursuit of feeling good enough to be accepted by God and our parents and other adults in our lives. She also dives into how this leads to a perpetual feeling of being a child, and having to defer to others to make decisions for us, which is something I still struggle with at 47.

Her podcasts, coaching and courses offered in her program have revolutionized my thinking about myself and how I think about others’ actions. This work has made it possible for me to leave an abusive marriage with my sanity (mostly) intact, and have grace for my humanness when I feel like I’m not up to par as a mom or a teacher.

In leaving my marriage, I also struggled with my beliefs in God and the misogyny perpetuated by the Christian church and not wanting to pass those beliefs on to my daughter. Natalie speaks to her own journey out of church and into the pure Love of God, and how her parenting has changed with her growth and a better understanding of who God is.

Natalie is one of those people whose lives I look at and can’t believe how she’s not only come out alive (NINE kids?! I have ONE and some days I get overwhelmed!), but she goes on to share her wisdom of the years of struggle to move women who have been down similar roads to make brave decisions, one step at a time. I highly recommend her memoir, it’s enlightening, amusing, and profound all at the same time. I can’t wait to read the sequel, because as she teaches us in her work, life is hardly over at 50. We’ve all got a lot of years ahead of us to Fly Free!

[Patty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie Hoffman has made a "safe space" for those of us who have suffered emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse. This book offers validation and healing for those of us who have experienced similar circumstances. She has written the book in a manner that is easy to read and one that is difficult to put down. It is life changing. I love how she wrote using all versions of herself as the "speaker". I cannot recommend this book enough to anyone who struggles with being seen, heard, and loved. It is a true treasure that I will reread many times. Thank you, Natalie, for this amazing gift of yourself!

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will bring hope and comfort to so many women who love God but who feel alone in destructive marriages. For women who remember all the sermons that have been preached at them that tell them God hates divorce and that their marriages would be just fine if they could just do better! Spoiler? Their better will never be good enough. Natalie walks next to them, shares her heart wrenching truths, and helps all of us see that there is a way out. Healing is possible. And the journey starts by naming and dethroning all the scary little gods and falling in love with the true God who is love.

[Sarah Pascual · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy memoirs and this one was no exception. This memoir is primarily about spiritual abuse that was inflicted on Natalie through her church forcing her to stay in an abusive marriage and denying the reality of her suffering. It made me think a lot about narratives we communicate to children and women in religious upbringing and, while this experience is not part of my story, it was an important ready for me as someone who is in vocational ministry.

Natalie is a unique writer, writing different sections of her book in different voices (inspired by her therapeutic work in Internal Family Systems), which took me awhile to get used to, but all in all, I’m really glad I read it and think it will stick with me for a long time.

[Lauren Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie’s vulnerable and courageous story is a gift to the world, especially to those of us experiencing emotionally and spiritually abusive mindsets and relationships. It left me filled with hope and beginning to step into the freedom of seeing myself and my life through a new lense of being forever held in Love.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all the little girls who were raised to believe that they were created for consumption, took the risk, begged their families and the church for help, and told to stay - even if it kills you. Natalie Hoffman saved my life years ago and I will forever be thankful for her courage and willingness to tell the truth.

[Suzrocks · Rating 3 out of 5]

not great style

I did not like the way this was written. All the different “people” in her mind was super confusing and took away from the story.

It’s a shame, because her story is so important and I’m always looking for good books on this subject to share with others. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone because it’s really hard to get past the odd style and multiple personalities.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disjointed and confusing. It was not well written and needed some serious editing and input.

[Eady Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this story and at times hated it.

Natalie shares the deeply tumultuous story of her emotionally abusive marriage. And not only her abusive marriage but churches that supported this abuse. Not to mention trauma in her family of origin as well.

She grew up in a mold that suppressed emotions and preferred religious perfectionism, then married someone who was emotionally unavailable and suppressive as well, who barely lifted a finger while raising their nine children.

She shares about the deaths or miscarriages of several babies, her delight in newborns, how one of her children became emotionally deregulated and abusive toward other family members. She shares her own diagnoses of CPTSD, her children’s diagnoses of autism and other things. She worked hard, homeschooling, running businesses from home, and running the household. I cannot fathom how she coped. Sometimes she didn’t cope.

She eventually divorced and it was such a relief to read. After all the gaslighting from family, church, counselors and herself, it was such a tremendous feat to accept God’s love and inner wisdom leading Natalie away from abusive situations that seemed to be on repeat in her life.

Natalie delves into her childhood, a complex relationship with her mother, a more stable relationship with her father, one sister who didn’t seem to like her, and one she got along with for many years. But her mother and sisters have had nothing to do with her for years and that is heartbreaking. They cannot cope with her divorce and remarriage and continue to blame and gaslight her for not being their idea of a perfect Christian.

I find these extreme ideas about what Christianity has to be, so toxic. A contradiction of what love actually is. I’m glad Natalie has found love within herself, within the God of love by rejecting the scary little gods, and with a new husband. And I’m also sad that her family of origin doesn’t celebrate all of this love.

Natalie delves into internal family systems and how her personality has several inner children. I have experienced this as well. I appreciate how she shares from their perspectives and doesn’t shy away from talking about psychological help she has found - we all need that.

This is a deeply authentic story. A deeply painful and tragic but also healing story, especially for those in abusive marriages, families, and churches.

Thank you for sharing your story Natalie. You seem so much happier in the season of grand-parenting as most of your children are probably teens and adults now. Triplet grandchildren - wow!! I hope your mother and sisters will change their ideas about you, if not in this life then at least in the next.

[Joye Everett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good story with bad theology. Hoffman does very well at exposing a lot of the problems with fundamentalist Gothardist Christianity - if it can even be called that. I found her struggles relatable and she had some decent messages. So there is a lot to enjoy about this book.

However, if you’re looking for someone to teach you the right way to live rather than simply criticizing one of many wrong ones, this book falls extremely short. I’ve taken the liberty of making my critical annotations public, but in short, I had three major issues:

1. Hoffman is not clear about her view on homosexual behavior. This sort of thing matters because she is a teacher in the Christian sphere and Christian teachers must be sexually ethical per 1 Timothy 3. I appreciate her kindness to herself during her struggle with same-sex attraction and we need more of that, but you also need clarity in your messaging, even in a personal narrative.
2. Hoffman is extremely new-thought, especially as it relates to believing everyone has a connection/relationship with God simply by existing, and that God is in everything, including the cosmos (panentheism). She quotes Greg Boyd at one point, so this is no surprise. Panentheism is a heresy and while she would scoff at me saying this, she should in no way be respected as a Christian teacher, even if I would recommend this book as an interesting personal narrative about someone escaping the Gothard cult.
3. Hoffman leans into universalism at times. I don’t have much to say as this mostly relates to the new-thought criticism above, but it’s a theme running throughout this book. Again, heresy.

Do I recommend this book? It depends. If you want a compelling personal narrative about a woman who walked away from the Gothard cult, by all means I recommend it. But I cannot recommend it as a source of good theology, and in that regard it fails at what it sets out to do. Thus, it has many good things and many wrong things. A very mixed bag.

[Cydnie Trenholm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't think "binge a memoir" would be on my 2025 bingo card, but here we are.

All The Scary Little Gods is engaging, raw, heartfelt, and thought-provoking. Having been introduced to Hoffman's work with the Flying Free podcast, I elected to listen to this via audiobook and it did not disappoint!

Far from a drab "I did this" "I did that" recollection, Hoffman creatively tells her story through several different eyes, making this feel like Inside Out meets the rough-and-tumble world of coming out of Christian hyper-conservatism. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll gasp.

And, if you've had any experience in an emotionally abusive relationship, you just might see yourself. I was shocked at how many recorded events I could draw a direct correlation to my own life, able to change names like "John" and "George" to names of those in my own circles, down to the details of emails and phone conversations. Such a moving, validating read that sees through the smoke and mirrors of abuse and cuts to the roots of it, while offering so much love and grace to survivors.

This love and grace extends to granting theological perspectives to ponder and replace previous destructive ones. Hoffman doesn't just tear down the toxic teaching, but offers the tools and hope for her readers to rebuild. I found myself often stopping to think about these things, testing them against my understanding of the Word and finding them to make so much sense--a better, more realistic explanation than how I'd previously been taught.

I've purchased the paperback book to sit on my shelf as well to revisit key concepts, though I look forward to listening to the whole book once again.

If you're on the fence about reading this book, just do it.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who would think that in 2024 we are not more evolved in realizing that God is Love and loves every single one of us? This is a compelling and important book for Christian women...really for ALL women. Most of us have been taught that only those in positions of "authority" have any real power over a woman's life. And that strips our ability to see and call out abuse. Without a book like this identifying the need to heal our abused brains and our concept of who God really is (a safe and big God of Love), we can stay stuck in despair. That despair is often quadrupled when we are also abused by church leaders, community, family and "friends" - those scary little gods who told us a failed marriage is the unforgivable sin and that a good Christian woman hides her husband's abuse. They failed to identify the truth that the one who really breaks up the family is not the abused wife, but the abusive husband. Natalie Hoffman reveals how this dark and all-too-prevalent cloud of abuse in our churches distracts us from the fact that God is in power, He loves us and He gives us agency over our own lives (what a concept!). Reading this survival story will likely give you courage to move forward with the one life God has given you to live and live with all your might. This book identifies that He is THE empathetic witness to our lives. Hats off to the articulate Natalie Hoffman for vulnerably sharing her own difficult experiences and pointing us toward what we can do to regain the hope, joy and vibrancy God intended for us all along!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all, a disclaimer: I read this book because I identify with many aspects of Natalie's narrative, so I connect with the content of the book on a highly personal level. So I can't really imagine what it would be like reading her memoir if you don't recognize any of the situations she addresses. That being said, I'll try to distinguish between my emotional response to the book and my critical take. First of all, Hoffman really shows her writing chops in the inventive way she approaches the multi-part story. She integrates insights she's gained from Internal Family Systems to her own tale in a persuasive way, drawing you into her highly-conflicted internal drama. She presents a lot of heavy stuff here, but she does so deftly, and with a killer sense of humor, that keeps it all from dragging you down.
For me, it was a deeply cathartic read, as I followed Natalie's story through ups and downs, bad decisions, and serious misunderstandings which often sounded all-too-familiar. Hoffman demonstrates an admirable ability to present herself sympathetically and critically; a remarkable feat in and of itself. But embedded in this story of suffering is a tremendous vitality and an ineffable hope which shine through again and again. Even if you don't identify with her plight the way some do, it's hard not to admire her wit, wisdom, and incredible strength. Her generosity of spirit is evident throughout. It's hard not to fall in love with an author who has learned to show so much grace to others --and even to herself --over the course of her journey.

[Diane Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, three words sum up this story: love, reality and truth. It will resonate with anyone who felt "different" (and by that I mean could see reality and would speak the truth of it) as a child, or Christian women steeped in teaching tainted by patriarchal ideas. The book is a hard one to read (especially if you fit into either of the above categories) in terms of confronting and unsettling content, but it is possible to pace yourself with the chapters being short. There are also sprinkles of humour (including some belly-laugh moments) throughout that bring the reader some relief. A particular highlight was Natalie's handwritten notes to herself which serve as a beautiful template about how to begin to face ourselves if we carry real or false shame.  Overall this story is a living, breathing, immensely practical example of how the truth will set you free as well as serving as a warning as to how many aspects of modern, western Christianity has created the tragedy of a rigidity - as well as a poor understanding of Jesus love for the abused and the idolising of marriage, no matter the mistreatment being experienced - that ultimately neither male or female benefit from. Thank you Natalie for allowing us to understand the depths of your pain and trauma but also allow us into the protective shadow of your healing journey that encourages us to believe that getting out the other side is possible. 

[Debora Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

It takes courage to confront the lies you have been living and make the changes needed to live the life of integrity you were created to live. Sharing your story, as Natalie has, first in her online outreach ministry for Christian women in difficult marriages and now in her newest book, "All the Scary Little Gods", is a courage inspired by Love. While my early life was different from Natalie's, our stories become similar during her timeline of 2016, even though I did not know of Natalie or the Flying Free group. Oh, how I wish I had! I suffered in isolation, blind to what it was I was suffering. In 2019, I began working with a Christian therapist who shared a number of resources, the Flying Free Sisterhood being one of them. It took some time for me find my truth and discover that I too was allowing little gods to dictate my life. I encourage any Christian woman experiencing difficulties in her marriage to read this book. The message of hope, of love, and of acceptance that Natalie continues to share will not only touch the lives of other women living in painful and confusing relationships, it may even save their lives and their spirits.

[Sharon Frazier-verpooten · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "All the Scary Little Gods," Natalie Hoffman fearlessly opens up about her journey of breaking free from religious trauma, and her story resonated deeply with me. Like many others, I've grappled with the weight of oppressive religious teachings, and Hoffman's candid account provided a sense of validation and understanding. This memoir isn't just for those directly affected by religious abuse—it's for anyone who has felt the suffocating grip of dogma, whether from family, church, friends, or a partner.

Hoffman's words serve as a beacon of hope for those yearning to break free from the shackles of fear and embrace a God of love and compassion. Her story is a roadmap—a guide that gently leads readers towards healing and self-discovery. If you're seeking solace and guidance on your journey to liberation, "All the Scary Little Gods" is a must-read. It offers a poignant reminder that while the path to freedom may be daunting, it ultimately leads to a place of profound self-awareness and empowerment.

[Rebecca Hancock · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have ever questioned, why God would allow or have such precise rules or formula to live the life that Jesus modeled for us, then “All the little scary gods” is a must read!! My childhood was not brought up in the Christianity world until I was 18 years old and fast forward 32 years of being immersed into that, this book has taught me that Jesus Love for us is all we need. We tend to over complicate things due to wanting to do the right thing in the circles we run around with. If we do question the ways, it comes back to us that we have twisted our thinking and can no longer be a part of that circle. This book shows that Jesus Love for you is bigger than “following in line” with all the little gods that man placed before us. It will give you the freedom to know that your life matters and you have the Love inside you to conquer all those scary gods created along the way and know that Jesus is the one and only God in our life that allows you and everyone else to be all that He created you to be.

[Susan Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Natalie's way of writing is such a needed answer to a very wounded heart. In this book, she has creatively written a masterpiece on one of the most untouched topics out there. It was reassuring, refreshing, humorous, but firmly endorsed the uncovered decades of spiritual and emotional abuse that is rampant in so many churches and marriages. Her writings have impacted me more than any counselor/pastor could have. For years, I couldn't make sense of anything and would try to talk myself into believing that this is just the way I need to live, but so many of the stories in this book, nailed down my own personal journey and resonated with me deeply. This book is one of the most valuable resources that dives into the depths of emotional and spiritual destruction, but gave me hope and a way out. Start here by reading this book to begin your healing journey and feel supported like no where else!

[Tricia Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It was so empowering to read Natalie’s story. My story, although slightly different, was just as affected by toxic culture. I felt my anxiety and depression lift as I read her words. Narcissists, who controlled the narrative in my life, scared me into submissions I didn’t even realize. Trying to be a good girl so that God would be proud of me, I became entrapped in a culture that I know now God did not design for me. It was a relief to read that it’s OK to detach from people pleasing and instead focus on who I really am and what life I want to live. The honesty in Natalie’s book was so refreshing, so real, so enlightening. Hearing her reveal her inner thoughts normalized my own thoughts during my growing up years. I loved the thought that I have always had a Great Empathic Witness in my life! It is the rare book that can be both entertaining and life changing. A very good, easy read! I couldn’t put it down.