What do you think?
Rate this book
Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change
The groundbreaking method that upends current treatment models and “offers collective hope to families of substance abusers” ( Kirkus Reviews ), helping loved ones conquer addiction and compulsion problems through positive reinforcement and kindness—from the leaders in progressive addiction treatment in the US.
Beyond Addiction goes beyond the theatrics of interventions and tough love to show family and friends how they can use kindness, positive reinforcement, and motivational and behavioral strategies to help someone change. Drawing on forty collective years of research and decades of clinical experience, the authors present the best practical advice science has to offer.
Delivered with warmth, optimism, and humor, Beyond Addiction defines a new, empowered role for friends and family and a paradigm shift for the field. This new approach is not only less daunting for both the substance abuser and his family, but is more effective as well. Learn how to use the transformative power of relationships for positive change, guided by exercises and examples. Practice what really works in therapy and in everyday life, and discover many different treatment options along with tips for navigating the system. And have this guide is a life raft for parents, family, and friends—offering “reminders that although no one can make another person change, there is much that can be done to make change seem appealing and possible” ( Publishers Weekly ).
Beyond Addiction goes beyond the theatrics of interventions and tough love to show family and friends how they can use kindness, positive reinforcement, and motivational and behavioral strategies to help someone change. Drawing on forty collective years of research and decades of clinical experience, the authors present the best practical advice science has to offer.
Delivered with warmth, optimism, and humor, Beyond Addiction defines a new, empowered role for friends and family and a paradigm shift for the field. This new approach is not only less daunting for both the substance abuser and his family, but is more effective as well. Learn how to use the transformative power of relationships for positive change, guided by exercises and examples. Practice what really works in therapy and in everyday life, and discover many different treatment options along with tips for navigating the system. And have this guide is a life raft for parents, family, and friends—offering “reminders that although no one can make another person change, there is much that can be done to make change seem appealing and possible” ( Publishers Weekly ).
384 pages, Paperback
First published February 18, 2014
679 people are currently reading
2097 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
May 2, 2022
I found this book fascinating. It is written for people who have loved ones with a substance or behavioural abuse disorder. If you have a partner, parent or child with with any of these issues, I think you might well find this book invaluable.
It was written by four members of staff at CMC - The Centre for Motivation and Change and its approach is commonly known as CRAFT (community reinforcement and family training.)
The subtitle of the book is "How science and kindness help people change" - and the book is all about helping people change using behavioural techniques, understanding and kindness. It is also about laying down boundaries, with explanations about how to ignore negative behaviours without being punitive. It takes on board the levels of frustration or despair that you might be feeling - and a lot of the book stresses the importance of improving your own quality of life. It also sympathises with the urge we often have to speak out of anger, whilst showing us clearly that a critical stance does not promote change in our loved ones. And yes, it's hard work. Often deeply counter-intuitive. This book really asks the reader to step back and make some major changes in the ways in which they may have been behaving and communicating with a loved one with these problems.
I usually end my reviews with a lot of notes. In this instance I have bought the book rather than borrowed it from the library, so I won't be doing that. I also very rarely keep books, but will definitely be keeping this one.
I'd like to end by say that there are several excellent and enlightening reviews of the book here on Goodreads. I think the pick of the bunch is by Morgan Blackledge...and highly recommend it if you want to find out more.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Definitely a 5 star read as far as I'm concerned.
It was written by four members of staff at CMC - The Centre for Motivation and Change and its approach is commonly known as CRAFT (community reinforcement and family training.)
The subtitle of the book is "How science and kindness help people change" - and the book is all about helping people change using behavioural techniques, understanding and kindness. It is also about laying down boundaries, with explanations about how to ignore negative behaviours without being punitive. It takes on board the levels of frustration or despair that you might be feeling - and a lot of the book stresses the importance of improving your own quality of life. It also sympathises with the urge we often have to speak out of anger, whilst showing us clearly that a critical stance does not promote change in our loved ones. And yes, it's hard work. Often deeply counter-intuitive. This book really asks the reader to step back and make some major changes in the ways in which they may have been behaving and communicating with a loved one with these problems.
I usually end my reviews with a lot of notes. In this instance I have bought the book rather than borrowed it from the library, so I won't be doing that. I also very rarely keep books, but will definitely be keeping this one.
I'd like to end by say that there are several excellent and enlightening reviews of the book here on Goodreads. I think the pick of the bunch is by Morgan Blackledge...and highly recommend it if you want to find out more.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Definitely a 5 star read as far as I'm concerned.
July 11, 2017
Great book. I wish I'd had it a couple of years ago, but it hadn't been written yet. There is other literature with a similar approach, but the way these people wrote really spoke to me. Sometimes I felt like they were reading my mind. It was down-to-earth, logical, compassionate and optimistic. I highly recommend this to anyone who has a loved one with a substance abuse problem and is struggling with frustration, anxiety and a feeling of powerlessness.
When you're looking for help for your loved one and yourself, you can run into some very one-size-fits-all, black and white approaches. This book is about options, perspective and getting your own life under control so you can be a better help to others. It never puts the pressure or blame for someone else's problem on the family members or significant others, but it does have some very realistic and helpful advice for what a family member can do to optimize conditions for change. They don't prescribe one rigid path, which if it isn't followed means doom and despair. It's really more about developing a healthy understanding and attitude toward change, and the various ways change happens for different people.
I love many books, but most I do not consider to be life-changing. I think it's rare for a book to have that much power, at least in a lasting way. I think this book is different and that the things I learned from it are lessons that will stay with me, that I'll use (and already have used) in multiple life situations and that can be built upon.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
2017 update: My opinion of this approach remains high. I will say, these sound ideas are more difficult to put into practice in the midst of crisis. I was more or less looking back on crisis, or thinking I was, the first time I read this. It was definitely worth re-reading.
When you're looking for help for your loved one and yourself, you can run into some very one-size-fits-all, black and white approaches. This book is about options, perspective and getting your own life under control so you can be a better help to others. It never puts the pressure or blame for someone else's problem on the family members or significant others, but it does have some very realistic and helpful advice for what a family member can do to optimize conditions for change. They don't prescribe one rigid path, which if it isn't followed means doom and despair. It's really more about developing a healthy understanding and attitude toward change, and the various ways change happens for different people.
I love many books, but most I do not consider to be life-changing. I think it's rare for a book to have that much power, at least in a lasting way. I think this book is different and that the things I learned from it are lessons that will stay with me, that I'll use (and already have used) in multiple life situations and that can be built upon.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
2017 update: My opinion of this approach remains high. I will say, these sound ideas are more difficult to put into practice in the midst of crisis. I was more or less looking back on crisis, or thinking I was, the first time I read this. It was definitely worth re-reading.
May 12, 2014
As the father of an addict in recovery, I have read dozens of books on addiction, treatment, and self-help. Believe me when I say that this book is unlike any of the others I've read. Written by people at the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC), Beyond Addiction is a truly unique guide for families who are dealing with a loved one's substance use issue.
This book is not another "old school" book on addiction that tells families they have to force their loved one into rehab and totally detach from them. It's not another "tough love" book. Instead it teaches you how you can play an active, important role in affecting change in your loved one. Yes, you can actually *help* your loved one get better by using CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training): "a scientifically supported, evidence-based, clinically proven approach to helping families of substance abusers." According to the book, "CRAFT has three goals: 1.) to teach you skills to take care of yourself; 2.) to teach you skills you can use to help your loved one change; and 3.) to reduce substance use, period, whether your loved one gets formal treatment or not."
I won't lie to you. Some of the strategies in Beyond Addiction may come as a shock to you if you're used to reading and hearing about the old school approaches to addiction, which frequently tell us that we are helpless when it comes to assisting a loved one. The book's subtitle itself--"How Science and Kindness Help People Change"--should give you a clue that this book is very different. Using kindness to help a substance user change? Seriously?? Yes! And the authors explain the concept very thoroughly.
Beyond Addiction actually teaches family members and friends how to become empowered and make a huge difference in a substance user's life, using an actual plan. The book is broken down into four parts: What to Know; How to Cope; How to Help; and Live Your Life. You can choose to read the book in order or skip around, depending on what parts you think are most important to you at any given time. There are also interesting sidebars entitled "Good News" and "What's Hard About This." (I especially appreciated the "What's Hard About This" explanations, which are very clear, concise, and informative.)
This positive, science-based guide to helping a loved one was fascinating to me. It was incredibly refreshing to read an optimistic and compassionate approach to addiction treatment. (Note: CRAFT can also be used to motivate and reinforce change in other behaviors, too.) I wish this book was around a few years ago when my wife and I were first dealing with our son's addiction. It would've been fabulous to have been able to try the plan detailed in Beyond Addiction. I'm sure a lot of the verbal battles we had with our son back then could have been avoided.
If you have a loved one who is struggling with addiction or other compulsive behaviors, I highly recommend picking this book up. As it says on the inside flap, "This guide is designed not only to help someone change, but to help someone *want* to change." It's also full of hope, and that's a wonderful thing.
This book is not another "old school" book on addiction that tells families they have to force their loved one into rehab and totally detach from them. It's not another "tough love" book. Instead it teaches you how you can play an active, important role in affecting change in your loved one. Yes, you can actually *help* your loved one get better by using CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training): "a scientifically supported, evidence-based, clinically proven approach to helping families of substance abusers." According to the book, "CRAFT has three goals: 1.) to teach you skills to take care of yourself; 2.) to teach you skills you can use to help your loved one change; and 3.) to reduce substance use, period, whether your loved one gets formal treatment or not."
I won't lie to you. Some of the strategies in Beyond Addiction may come as a shock to you if you're used to reading and hearing about the old school approaches to addiction, which frequently tell us that we are helpless when it comes to assisting a loved one. The book's subtitle itself--"How Science and Kindness Help People Change"--should give you a clue that this book is very different. Using kindness to help a substance user change? Seriously?? Yes! And the authors explain the concept very thoroughly.
Beyond Addiction actually teaches family members and friends how to become empowered and make a huge difference in a substance user's life, using an actual plan. The book is broken down into four parts: What to Know; How to Cope; How to Help; and Live Your Life. You can choose to read the book in order or skip around, depending on what parts you think are most important to you at any given time. There are also interesting sidebars entitled "Good News" and "What's Hard About This." (I especially appreciated the "What's Hard About This" explanations, which are very clear, concise, and informative.)
This positive, science-based guide to helping a loved one was fascinating to me. It was incredibly refreshing to read an optimistic and compassionate approach to addiction treatment. (Note: CRAFT can also be used to motivate and reinforce change in other behaviors, too.) I wish this book was around a few years ago when my wife and I were first dealing with our son's addiction. It would've been fabulous to have been able to try the plan detailed in Beyond Addiction. I'm sure a lot of the verbal battles we had with our son back then could have been avoided.
If you have a loved one who is struggling with addiction or other compulsive behaviors, I highly recommend picking this book up. As it says on the inside flap, "This guide is designed not only to help someone change, but to help someone *want* to change." It's also full of hope, and that's a wonderful thing.
March 1, 2014
We need a sensible and compassionate approach to treatment for substance dependence. Our traditional methods for addiction recovery are simply insufficient to grapple with the variety and complexity of the issue as we now understand it. It is becoming increasingly clear that we can no longer afford to blindly adhere to vagaries and unfalsifiable claims, no matter how time honored, poetic or beloved.
I believe a lot of the common addiction recovery truisms and approaches were born out of confusion and frustration. They represent the best practices of their time, and continue to serve and save millions. How ever, if we contrast these truisms and approaches with our medical model, we can see how dangerous and irresponsible it is to blindly adhere to them.
What if we told a cancer patient that he or she has to go to church and hit rock bottom before they recover? What if we told the loved ones of cancer patients that the patient "did it to them selves" and "the patient has to do everything" and based on that flawless logic, to withdraw basic kindness and support in the name of tough love. Its pretty safe to say there would be less cancer survivors.
Imagine an emergency room doctor refusing to do CPR on a patient because he didn't want to work harder than the client. It's safe to say there would be lots more dead ER patients.
Fortunately, our culture is becoming more sensible and compassionate regarding substance dependence and treatment. People (clearly not all, but some) are abandoning slogans and shrill, dogmatic ideologies for a more rational, evidence based treatments.
There are quite a few good books for individuals suffering from substance dependence. Beyond Addiction is intended for their concerned significant others (CSO's). Although, the book is written for a general audience. There is a lot of hardcore research evidence undergirding the material. The authors do a good job of coupling a user friendly front end, with a pretty boss theoretical backend.
The book takes a "kitchen sink" approach (with the caveat that everything in this particular sink is intentional and valuable). They bring a lot of sensible and compassionate approaches together under one umbrella, borrowing heavily (and quite appropriately) from Motivational Interviewing (MI), third wave behaviorist approaches e.g. Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and other humanistic, family therapy and CBT sources. But the book is primarily about a behaviorally oriented, systems level approach to addiction recovery called Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT).
The CRAFT model assumes that (A) individuals with substance use problems are often strongly opposed to treatment, and (B) that the concerned significant others (CSOs) of the substance abuser are commonly highly motivated to help them.
The fairly unique feature of CRAFT is that it also dares to posit the nearly heretical notion that CSOs can actually play a significant and positive role in their loved ones recovery, even when said loved one doesn't want to change.
The book even dares to challenge (or rather to clarify) time worn truisms such as enabling and codependent relationships. Not that these constructs aren't valuable or valid on some level. But that maybe they have been taken a little too far in our popular culture, i.e. maybe it's o.k. to tell your addicted son or daughter you love them and or make them breakfast once and a while. Maybe it could even help them recover.
One of the downright sensible rationale for treating your addicted loved one with kindness (aside from the obvious examples) is that people (like just about any other mammal) respond better to reinforcement than to punishment. Reinforcement draws you in. Punishment makes you (and me and everyone we know) want to leave the situation quickly (unless you're into punishment, in which case we in the behavioral analysis world call it reinforcement, even if it involves fetters and such, but I digress).
In the old days of recovery, inpatient setting approaches used to punish and humiliate patients. You have a little captive audience in that setting i.e. people can't leave. Nowadays we don't do that crazy, corny, sadistic stuff anymore. Particularly in outpatient settings. We treat people with kindness because if we abuse people seeking treatment, they leave. We figure people are better off in treatment than out of treatment so we just go ahead and be nice.
Additionally, there is great evidence that meeting people where they are at, and working with, rather than against them, motivates people better than treating them like trash. If treating substance depended people like shit worked, there would be a whole lot less addicted people out there. The inference being that so called "addicts" get treated badly all the time by cops, hospital staff, paramedics etc. Humiliation, coercion, guilt and confrontation make great reality t.v. But in reality reality it's a HUGE fail.
With CRAFT, CSO's are trained in various strategies, including positive reinforcement, various communication skills and natural consequences.
There are seven steps in the CRAFT model for implementing positive communication strategies.
1: Be Brief
2: Be Positive
3: Refer to Specific Behaviors
4: Label your Feelings
5: Offer an Understanding Statement
6: Accept Partial Responsibility
7: Offer to help
There is tons more to CRAFT. It's an exciting approach that I will be implementing in my work as a marital and family therapist and addiction counselor. In sum, I highly recommend this sensible and compassionate book.
I believe a lot of the common addiction recovery truisms and approaches were born out of confusion and frustration. They represent the best practices of their time, and continue to serve and save millions. How ever, if we contrast these truisms and approaches with our medical model, we can see how dangerous and irresponsible it is to blindly adhere to them.
What if we told a cancer patient that he or she has to go to church and hit rock bottom before they recover? What if we told the loved ones of cancer patients that the patient "did it to them selves" and "the patient has to do everything" and based on that flawless logic, to withdraw basic kindness and support in the name of tough love. Its pretty safe to say there would be less cancer survivors.
Imagine an emergency room doctor refusing to do CPR on a patient because he didn't want to work harder than the client. It's safe to say there would be lots more dead ER patients.
Fortunately, our culture is becoming more sensible and compassionate regarding substance dependence and treatment. People (clearly not all, but some) are abandoning slogans and shrill, dogmatic ideologies for a more rational, evidence based treatments.
There are quite a few good books for individuals suffering from substance dependence. Beyond Addiction is intended for their concerned significant others (CSO's). Although, the book is written for a general audience. There is a lot of hardcore research evidence undergirding the material. The authors do a good job of coupling a user friendly front end, with a pretty boss theoretical backend.
The book takes a "kitchen sink" approach (with the caveat that everything in this particular sink is intentional and valuable). They bring a lot of sensible and compassionate approaches together under one umbrella, borrowing heavily (and quite appropriately) from Motivational Interviewing (MI), third wave behaviorist approaches e.g. Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and other humanistic, family therapy and CBT sources. But the book is primarily about a behaviorally oriented, systems level approach to addiction recovery called Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT).
The CRAFT model assumes that (A) individuals with substance use problems are often strongly opposed to treatment, and (B) that the concerned significant others (CSOs) of the substance abuser are commonly highly motivated to help them.
The fairly unique feature of CRAFT is that it also dares to posit the nearly heretical notion that CSOs can actually play a significant and positive role in their loved ones recovery, even when said loved one doesn't want to change.
The book even dares to challenge (or rather to clarify) time worn truisms such as enabling and codependent relationships. Not that these constructs aren't valuable or valid on some level. But that maybe they have been taken a little too far in our popular culture, i.e. maybe it's o.k. to tell your addicted son or daughter you love them and or make them breakfast once and a while. Maybe it could even help them recover.
One of the downright sensible rationale for treating your addicted loved one with kindness (aside from the obvious examples) is that people (like just about any other mammal) respond better to reinforcement than to punishment. Reinforcement draws you in. Punishment makes you (and me and everyone we know) want to leave the situation quickly (unless you're into punishment, in which case we in the behavioral analysis world call it reinforcement, even if it involves fetters and such, but I digress).
In the old days of recovery, inpatient setting approaches used to punish and humiliate patients. You have a little captive audience in that setting i.e. people can't leave. Nowadays we don't do that crazy, corny, sadistic stuff anymore. Particularly in outpatient settings. We treat people with kindness because if we abuse people seeking treatment, they leave. We figure people are better off in treatment than out of treatment so we just go ahead and be nice.
Additionally, there is great evidence that meeting people where they are at, and working with, rather than against them, motivates people better than treating them like trash. If treating substance depended people like shit worked, there would be a whole lot less addicted people out there. The inference being that so called "addicts" get treated badly all the time by cops, hospital staff, paramedics etc. Humiliation, coercion, guilt and confrontation make great reality t.v. But in reality reality it's a HUGE fail.
With CRAFT, CSO's are trained in various strategies, including positive reinforcement, various communication skills and natural consequences.
There are seven steps in the CRAFT model for implementing positive communication strategies.
1: Be Brief
2: Be Positive
3: Refer to Specific Behaviors
4: Label your Feelings
5: Offer an Understanding Statement
6: Accept Partial Responsibility
7: Offer to help
There is tons more to CRAFT. It's an exciting approach that I will be implementing in my work as a marital and family therapist and addiction counselor. In sum, I highly recommend this sensible and compassionate book.
July 9, 2014
Full disclosure here: I am an audiobook narrator, and I just finished reading (out loud) and recording this book for Tantor Media (should be released in August 2014), so obviously had no choice but to read it cover-to-cover!
That said, I found it very illuminating and helpful. I was married to an alcoholic, and am also the Mom of a son with schizophrenia (not an addiction, obviously, but sometimes behavior modification tools are so valuable with other issues especially where relationships can be helpful). The concepts and suggestions in this book really opened my mind to think beyond the black-or-white thinking that can close us off to all the options in between.
It also reinforced what I learned about helping my son in his treatment for schizophrenia - family can be a huge asset, when exposed to ideas, resources, information and support that truly make a difference.Ben Behind His Voices: One Family's Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope
That said, I found it very illuminating and helpful. I was married to an alcoholic, and am also the Mom of a son with schizophrenia (not an addiction, obviously, but sometimes behavior modification tools are so valuable with other issues especially where relationships can be helpful). The concepts and suggestions in this book really opened my mind to think beyond the black-or-white thinking that can close us off to all the options in between.
It also reinforced what I learned about helping my son in his treatment for schizophrenia - family can be a huge asset, when exposed to ideas, resources, information and support that truly make a difference.Ben Behind His Voices: One Family's Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope
February 24, 2022
For years, people kept telling me to cut off contact and wait for my daughter to "hit rock bottom" so that she'd finally agree to go to rehab. I hated hearing that. But it was repeated to me from everyone in the addiction world. Every person, every book, every movie taught me that line. Then I found this book and it felt right. This is by far the BEST book on addiction I've ever encountered. It has completely changed my approach to my daughter's struggle with addiction, and our relationship. We are now very close and I have good boundaries in our relationship. After only a few months of implementing these principles, she has made the decision to go to rehab. I never thought that would happen!! It really works. I am so grateful for this book. I want to share it with everyone who has a loved one struggling with addiction.
September 16, 2014
As a parent who has walked this journey of addiction in their family, I found tremendous insights into the addiction conversation. Beyond Addiction offers a refreshing alternative perspective to the continuous 12-step theology. Not that I am an anti-stepper, its just that our addiction conversations and treatment approaches have not sufficiently evolved. Beyond Addiction is refreshing, insightful, and accurate. Much of what they promote through research and application reflect the behaviors and approaches I found most effective and productive in my particular situation. I wish this book had been available when I first started the journey and discovered much of its truths through trial and error parenting.
April 12, 2015
This book is written for those with loved ones with self-destructive compulsions or behaviors who are not at the point of addressing them. It covers what has been learned from clinical experience, and from studies in motivation and compulsion, to offer a range of approaches that respects everyone involved. A lot of the ideas seem basic common sense or courtesy and I don't know if it's a sad thing, or simply reassuring, that there has been a need to have studies to prove what I would have thought was basic intuition:
a) Even though there are common patterns to specific physical and mental health conditions (however culturally defined), there is diversity in the severity and manifestation among individuals. Therefore, what's appropriate for one person may not work for another.
b) Even people undergoing great stress at crisis points in their lives are capable of resilience and self-care, particularly with good support networks. When family members are in partnership with a struggling person and an insightful support team, everyone fares better. (I’m wondering if notions such as “tough love” – a contradiction in terms the way it’s offered prescribed – and accusations of “enabling” came about because there was no clinical or community support for a family. It seems like something a society that’s disengaged from its marginalized members would tell a family to do.)
c) Relationship patterns are like a dance. When one person moves differently or out of sync, it affects the other, and this can have positive as well as negative implications. The book teaches new steps for the dance, drawing on adapted cognitive behavioral techniques to give possible ways that one could identify and positively reinforce non-addiction times, and give some incentive to extinguish motivation for the other times.
Even though the book emphasizes different methods, it doesn't necessarily bash the traditional approaches to addictions. It describes how the 12 Steps approach can be successful and a life-saver for some if it provides the individual with a supportive network and positive reinforcement for a shared goal. But even if it works for some, the evidence presented suggests that it doesn't work for all, or even for the majority who've tried it. That could be because not everyone feels support under the same conditions, nor do they have the same goals and philosophical outlook. The clinicians who wrote the book take it from the standpoint that many people have habits that could be compulsive patterns, and the ways they have found to deal with them may vary a good deal in form, even if the underlying principles of positive/negative reinforcements to extinguish them could be broadly categorized in similar ways.
Therapists, particularly cognitive behaviorists, can work with individuals, but this book is for those who are close to someone who doesn't seem ready to begin work on their own. It provides a variety of ideas for caring for oneself and other family members, reinforcing good instincts about what seems to right for the situation, and has plenty of exercises, hints to gauge severity and criticality, and listings of where to go for help. The techniques for positive interactions would work well in any situation where people might have tensions and disagreements, even if there were no self-destructive behaviors involved.
a) Even though there are common patterns to specific physical and mental health conditions (however culturally defined), there is diversity in the severity and manifestation among individuals. Therefore, what's appropriate for one person may not work for another.
b) Even people undergoing great stress at crisis points in their lives are capable of resilience and self-care, particularly with good support networks. When family members are in partnership with a struggling person and an insightful support team, everyone fares better. (I’m wondering if notions such as “tough love” – a contradiction in terms the way it’s offered prescribed – and accusations of “enabling” came about because there was no clinical or community support for a family. It seems like something a society that’s disengaged from its marginalized members would tell a family to do.)
c) Relationship patterns are like a dance. When one person moves differently or out of sync, it affects the other, and this can have positive as well as negative implications. The book teaches new steps for the dance, drawing on adapted cognitive behavioral techniques to give possible ways that one could identify and positively reinforce non-addiction times, and give some incentive to extinguish motivation for the other times.
Even though the book emphasizes different methods, it doesn't necessarily bash the traditional approaches to addictions. It describes how the 12 Steps approach can be successful and a life-saver for some if it provides the individual with a supportive network and positive reinforcement for a shared goal. But even if it works for some, the evidence presented suggests that it doesn't work for all, or even for the majority who've tried it. That could be because not everyone feels support under the same conditions, nor do they have the same goals and philosophical outlook. The clinicians who wrote the book take it from the standpoint that many people have habits that could be compulsive patterns, and the ways they have found to deal with them may vary a good deal in form, even if the underlying principles of positive/negative reinforcements to extinguish them could be broadly categorized in similar ways.
Therapists, particularly cognitive behaviorists, can work with individuals, but this book is for those who are close to someone who doesn't seem ready to begin work on their own. It provides a variety of ideas for caring for oneself and other family members, reinforcing good instincts about what seems to right for the situation, and has plenty of exercises, hints to gauge severity and criticality, and listings of where to go for help. The techniques for positive interactions would work well in any situation where people might have tensions and disagreements, even if there were no self-destructive behaviors involved.
January 3, 2020
This book should be required reading for anyone - whether a parent, sibling, spouse, friend, significant other - who has a relationship/loves someone suffering from addiction. It goes beyond black-and-white, abstinence-only, labeling, traditional thinking that often comes along with substance abuse, and offers a more empathetic approach to supporting a loved one through active addiction, treatment, and recovery. Change is hard. Humans slip and get back up. Recovery is possible, but it’s not linear.
One of the best parts about this book is the truly effective communication tools provided - giving loved ones an evidence-based plan to work off of as they navigate the ups and downs of addiction.
One of the best parts about this book is the truly effective communication tools provided - giving loved ones an evidence-based plan to work off of as they navigate the ups and downs of addiction.
February 6, 2022
A cousin passed away in the spring as a result of the opioid crisis, and it was at his funeral that I both learned about this book and realized my dad has been a prescription drug addict for decades. It never occurred to me that benzodiazepines are addictive, and that reducing use would require medical intervention. I always assumed if a doctor is assigning them and prescribing them, they must be ok?
Had “Beyond Addiction” been available to me 20 years ago (and had I had the capacity to read it at the time) I think the entire trajectory of my life could have been different. At this point, patterns are entrenched and the likelihood of moderation or abstinence is effectively nil. Regardless, I am in love with this book. I will implement the things within it and I am confident I can shift my relationship with my dad for the time we have remaining together, whether or not he chooses to change.
Had “Beyond Addiction” been available to me 20 years ago (and had I had the capacity to read it at the time) I think the entire trajectory of my life could have been different. At this point, patterns are entrenched and the likelihood of moderation or abstinence is effectively nil. Regardless, I am in love with this book. I will implement the things within it and I am confident I can shift my relationship with my dad for the time we have remaining together, whether or not he chooses to change.
September 25, 2015
Visited the website and browsed deeply. Ordered from my local library and skimmed the intro and first chapter this morning. Especially liked the dedication, "For everyone who is hoping and working for change." Must have this book; it is compassionate and real, and matches my experience. Bought it.
Some weeks later: read it all, in bits and pieces. Very encouraging and practical. Could not read it for very long at a time! Learned things about the brain and how addiction (both the behaviors and the substances) warp it. Helped me deal with my son when he was at his least loveable, and helped me deal with my own fears constructively. We are not out of the dense woods yet, but the path is now clear. Now when we talk we understand each other, and we can even talk well when our emotions are high. Far, far better than the silence and frustration we used to live with.
Some weeks later: read it all, in bits and pieces. Very encouraging and practical. Could not read it for very long at a time! Learned things about the brain and how addiction (both the behaviors and the substances) warp it. Helped me deal with my son when he was at his least loveable, and helped me deal with my own fears constructively. We are not out of the dense woods yet, but the path is now clear. Now when we talk we understand each other, and we can even talk well when our emotions are high. Far, far better than the silence and frustration we used to live with.
November 1, 2021
If you or a loved one is dealing with a serious addiction, a life threatening addiction, if you do not feel safe in your own home, are wondering if you are the crazy one, are a victim of verbal or physical abuse as a result of addiction, do NOT read this book. This is a book for people and their loved ones who are not far a long in their addiction and may have picked up a few bad behaviors. It is for people who still have some control of their lives. It is not for those who have lost jobs, families, their homes or gotten in trouble with the law as a result of their addiction. If this applies to your loved one, I suggest you seek information elsewhere. Reading up on codependency is a great place to start.
There is so much about this book that made me cringe, and I am grateful this was not the first book I read on addiction. If it had been, I would have given up on seeking help for my loved one and myself. So many times, I was tempted to stop reading it all together, but I kept going, trying to grasp at any helpful information that I may not have gotten from other literature. It is appallingly clear that the author, himself, is not an addict nor has a loved one who is an addict. It appears he has no idea of the emotional trauma involved with addiction and codependency. It comes off as nothing short of naive, and at one point in the book, the author even says that a therapist can be just as good and effective in treating addiction, even if they don't have first hand experience. Why does that even need to be mentioned? A little defensive, perhaps?
A significant amount of the book suggests that addicts can more than likely control their addiction on their own and that treatment is not necessary. If a full-blown addict who thinks that they might have a problem reads this book, it would only backfire and validate their thinking they do not have a problem in the first place and can control it on their own. It beats behind the bush that 12 step programs do not work, which is not true at all. Millions of people have gotten their addictions under control with the help of 12 step programs. It also mentions that rehab isn't necessary most of the time or effective. This book solely toots the horn of the CRAFT approach. In fact, the CRAFT Approach should have been the title of this book instead of misleading people about the effectiveness of medical and mental health interventions under the guise of a false title.
The scenarios and suggestions given were the most jaw-dropping part of the book. Perhaps these suggestions would work in a magic little laboratory test tube. In one story, a married woman had three drinks throughout the day with her husband. Wine with lunch, a cocktail before dinner and another drink with the meal. Her husband passed away and she continued with that routine. Her daughter became alarmed with her mother's continued drinking. Three drinks a day, with meals, is not alcoholism. Why even add this to the book? In another scenario, a woman was upset when her husband would disappear for an entire weekend and go on a bender. She would not be able to reach him for the entire time. The following Monday, they would always end up in a fight. The author suggests, that to avoid fighting about his behavior, she should check in to a hotel for the night, not speak to him the whole day, eat meals silently and write notes to each other if they needed to communicate. What the actual f***? All that is doing is tolerating his behavior and making his life easier. He now knows he can go on his benders and have peace and quiet minus repercussions. Other suggestions were to leave the room when the addict is under the influence and read a book. If only it were that easy. At no point does the book mention what to do when your loved one follows you to your place of refuge, tries to pick fights, is a danger to himself or others, or behaves poorly in front of company. I get waiting to speak to an addict about their behavior when they are sober, but neglects to mention that addicts are very good at gaslighting, as well as knowing what their loved one wants to hear in order for them to continue their behavior. Just because an addict is sorry about their actions doesn't mean the behavior will stop. It is a chemical addiction that needs to be treated by a professional. No amount of promises or regrets can fix that. An addict has to want help. It is something they must choose. The feelings and pressure from an outside source rarely have the influence to change that.
What this book does offer, are some decent tips for communicating with your loved one. The advice is great for all relationships even minus addiction. It gives insight on how to not sound like you are attacking your loved one. It encourages positive reinforcement. What it does not offer, is how to handle your loved one when they are too far gone for these suggestions to work.
There is so much about this book that made me cringe, and I am grateful this was not the first book I read on addiction. If it had been, I would have given up on seeking help for my loved one and myself. So many times, I was tempted to stop reading it all together, but I kept going, trying to grasp at any helpful information that I may not have gotten from other literature. It is appallingly clear that the author, himself, is not an addict nor has a loved one who is an addict. It appears he has no idea of the emotional trauma involved with addiction and codependency. It comes off as nothing short of naive, and at one point in the book, the author even says that a therapist can be just as good and effective in treating addiction, even if they don't have first hand experience. Why does that even need to be mentioned? A little defensive, perhaps?
A significant amount of the book suggests that addicts can more than likely control their addiction on their own and that treatment is not necessary. If a full-blown addict who thinks that they might have a problem reads this book, it would only backfire and validate their thinking they do not have a problem in the first place and can control it on their own. It beats behind the bush that 12 step programs do not work, which is not true at all. Millions of people have gotten their addictions under control with the help of 12 step programs. It also mentions that rehab isn't necessary most of the time or effective. This book solely toots the horn of the CRAFT approach. In fact, the CRAFT Approach should have been the title of this book instead of misleading people about the effectiveness of medical and mental health interventions under the guise of a false title.
The scenarios and suggestions given were the most jaw-dropping part of the book. Perhaps these suggestions would work in a magic little laboratory test tube. In one story, a married woman had three drinks throughout the day with her husband. Wine with lunch, a cocktail before dinner and another drink with the meal. Her husband passed away and she continued with that routine. Her daughter became alarmed with her mother's continued drinking. Three drinks a day, with meals, is not alcoholism. Why even add this to the book? In another scenario, a woman was upset when her husband would disappear for an entire weekend and go on a bender. She would not be able to reach him for the entire time. The following Monday, they would always end up in a fight. The author suggests, that to avoid fighting about his behavior, she should check in to a hotel for the night, not speak to him the whole day, eat meals silently and write notes to each other if they needed to communicate. What the actual f***? All that is doing is tolerating his behavior and making his life easier. He now knows he can go on his benders and have peace and quiet minus repercussions. Other suggestions were to leave the room when the addict is under the influence and read a book. If only it were that easy. At no point does the book mention what to do when your loved one follows you to your place of refuge, tries to pick fights, is a danger to himself or others, or behaves poorly in front of company. I get waiting to speak to an addict about their behavior when they are sober, but neglects to mention that addicts are very good at gaslighting, as well as knowing what their loved one wants to hear in order for them to continue their behavior. Just because an addict is sorry about their actions doesn't mean the behavior will stop. It is a chemical addiction that needs to be treated by a professional. No amount of promises or regrets can fix that. An addict has to want help. It is something they must choose. The feelings and pressure from an outside source rarely have the influence to change that.
What this book does offer, are some decent tips for communicating with your loved one. The advice is great for all relationships even minus addiction. It gives insight on how to not sound like you are attacking your loved one. It encourages positive reinforcement. What it does not offer, is how to handle your loved one when they are too far gone for these suggestions to work.
June 18, 2017
A GR friend recommended this book when she learnt that I was struggling to support a relative who was not an addict but who was suffering with mental health problems. I am so glad she did. There is much wisdom and advice here to help any carer regardless of the nature of their relative's problem. Carer's often feel so helpless and are all too often ignored by the support services. When the relative starts blaming those who love them for their plight things can get very scary and carer's begin to doubt that they can help.
The authors advocate the KRAFT approach an approach based on kindness not blame yet enabling carers to analyse what kind of responses can really help change things for the better. However they are clear too.... Nobody can support effectively when emotionally and physically exhausted. You have to be kind to yourself to regain strength and compassion enough to help the other.
My all too brief review makes this sound like a simplistic approach but this is not the case. Everything is very carefully analysed and explained but without using jargon or hiding behind medicalese. And the authors recognise and acknowledge too that in some cases the situation may become too challenging for relatives to manage at home. But the most important thing is it offers hope for all concerned.
The authors advocate the KRAFT approach an approach based on kindness not blame yet enabling carers to analyse what kind of responses can really help change things for the better. However they are clear too.... Nobody can support effectively when emotionally and physically exhausted. You have to be kind to yourself to regain strength and compassion enough to help the other.
My all too brief review makes this sound like a simplistic approach but this is not the case. Everything is very carefully analysed and explained but without using jargon or hiding behind medicalese. And the authors recognise and acknowledge too that in some cases the situation may become too challenging for relatives to manage at home. But the most important thing is it offers hope for all concerned.
December 22, 2022
I was told to read this book by a instructor in my class during my mental health rotation of nursing. However, I found it to be very dull and unhelpful. I'm not sure if it's because we already learned most of what was written in this book in our schooling, or if it was the slight judgement in the tone of the writing despite the writing discussing being non-judgemental. Overall, this book is probably a helpful tool for those dealing with their family member's addiction, but from a healthcare provider perspective, I did not find it to contain any information I hadn't already learned.
July 10, 2025
This relatively short book took me 4 and half years to read but it also completely changed my relationship with my family member with substance abuse issues. It was sometimes repetitive or took a long time to get to a point and yet when it comes down to it, the ideas in it are extremely helpful and I have recommended it to a lot of people. My family member has now been in recovery for months and I know that may not always be the case but I do know that these strategies help me understand how to have a relationship with them even through the difficult times, while not losing sight of my own well-being, and that is something I am extremely grateful for.
December 28, 2020
Ambivalence is normal.
October 1, 2018
One of the top books in addiction:
Evidence shows involving family significantly increases the odds of improvement and helps maintain positive change.
Motivation for change occurs when the cost of a behavior perceptibly outweigh the benefits.
What looks like unwillingness to change is often a DEFENSIVE REACTION. People respond with significantly less resistance to kindness and respectful treatment.
View life as a series of experiments.
Labeling as an addict is circular logic.
The goal is to keep the person motivated and involved.
You want to use past experiences if they tried and failed on their own.
0-60 Rule: the quicker the substance (or experience) affects the brain, the more powerfully the brain is motivated to use it.
Ask HOW DO WE SHIFT YOUR MOTIVATION!
MOTIVATION TO CHANGE CAN OCCUR WHENEVER THE COSTS OF A BEHAVIOR OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS!
When people see their behavior as inconsistent with their self-image or goals than their motivation to change can increase.
WRITE OUT: Pg 67
Behaviors, triggers (internal/external), and consequences (short/long).
5 Stages of Change:
Precontemplation. Not thinking about change.
Contemplation. Getting ready for change. Understands consequences but minimizes them.
Preparation. Readiness.
Action.
Maintenence.
To be present, one must think NATO (Not Attached to the Outcome)
Scale 1 - 10 (10 happiness) following areas of life:
Drinking/drug use.
Job.
Growth/Learning.
Finances.
Friendships.
Health.
Exercise.
Nutrition.
Sleep.
Family.
Spouse.
Sex.
Community.
Legal.
Emotional.
Communication.
Spirituality.
Pleasurable free time activities.
Other.
ENABLING: Anything you do that reinforces or increases the likelihood of using Behavior.
REINFORCEMENT: Supporting positive behaviors!
Punishment seldom helps extinguish unwanted behaviors. It is better to use positive reinforcement or allow natural consequences to fall on them or ignore the behavior.
Evidence shows involving family significantly increases the odds of improvement and helps maintain positive change.
Motivation for change occurs when the cost of a behavior perceptibly outweigh the benefits.
What looks like unwillingness to change is often a DEFENSIVE REACTION. People respond with significantly less resistance to kindness and respectful treatment.
View life as a series of experiments.
Labeling as an addict is circular logic.
The goal is to keep the person motivated and involved.
You want to use past experiences if they tried and failed on their own.
0-60 Rule: the quicker the substance (or experience) affects the brain, the more powerfully the brain is motivated to use it.
Ask HOW DO WE SHIFT YOUR MOTIVATION!
MOTIVATION TO CHANGE CAN OCCUR WHENEVER THE COSTS OF A BEHAVIOR OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS!
When people see their behavior as inconsistent with their self-image or goals than their motivation to change can increase.
WRITE OUT: Pg 67
Behaviors, triggers (internal/external), and consequences (short/long).
5 Stages of Change:
Precontemplation. Not thinking about change.
Contemplation. Getting ready for change. Understands consequences but minimizes them.
Preparation. Readiness.
Action.
Maintenence.
To be present, one must think NATO (Not Attached to the Outcome)
Scale 1 - 10 (10 happiness) following areas of life:
Drinking/drug use.
Job.
Growth/Learning.
Finances.
Friendships.
Health.
Exercise.
Nutrition.
Sleep.
Family.
Spouse.
Sex.
Community.
Legal.
Emotional.
Communication.
Spirituality.
Pleasurable free time activities.
Other.
ENABLING: Anything you do that reinforces or increases the likelihood of using Behavior.
REINFORCEMENT: Supporting positive behaviors!
Punishment seldom helps extinguish unwanted behaviors. It is better to use positive reinforcement or allow natural consequences to fall on them or ignore the behavior.
February 8, 2023
I loved this book a lot. This book helped me know more about what people go through when they are dealing with an addiction. I still struggle with a sibling who has been dealing with an addiction for 5 years. I was 8 when it first started happening to him. As an 8 year old I was confused knowing that someone you love was doing drugs and drinking to fill a void in their heart. Now that I am older I try my best to understand what has happened when it comes to an addiction. This book helped me understand and validate how I felt and also helping me understand what my brother with struggling with. This book is important to read if you know someone who has an addiction. If you felt like you tried your hardest to understand there addiction but never got anywhere. Last, this book is meant for families who felt like they lost their loved one to addiction. Im 15 and I needed this book to feel validated and to understand where my brother went. I hope this book helps you too.
May 16, 2015
I read this book because my nephew abuses substances; primarily alcohol and prescription drugs. My sister asked me to read this book so I could have a better understanding of the power of drugs and how to help my nephew. I already had a good understanding of addiction, but this book gave a deeper insight into the disease and real advice on what to do for your loved one and what to do for yourself and the rest of the family involved. I highly recommend this as a great resource for anyone dealing with this devastating disease.
May 9, 2016
This book is for anyone that knows a human:) Hate the label "addiction" but this book addresses the authors agreement on that. The writers expressed beautifully what I've wondered about for years on human behavior. As a nation we need to change the way we think about ALL imbalances in our bodies/minds. We'd be a far more successful world if we looked at each with eyes of love instead of judgement.
May 21, 2014
Beyond Addiction is the number-one book on the topic of helping a loved one get clean or sober. Trusted advice. Buy the book without reservation. It's worth the cost. Underline and highlight the sections you need to review. Worth 100 stars not just 5.
July 9, 2018
This is an excellent book for family members trying to get their loved ones into treatment for substance use. A lot of the information in the book would also be helpful for supporting their loved ones while in recovery during and after treatment as well. The book does an excellent job citing research to support their claims as well. This book would also be helpful for practitioners to read who want to learn more about substance use disorder treatments, and more specifically CRAFT. I only have a couple criticisms about this book.
The first is that, while the book does mention the importance of treating underlying mental health conditions multiple times, I am not sure that their treatment recommendations are very dual-diagnosis focused. Moreso, they focus on changing behaviors related to substance use. I would like to see them cite more research about their treatment approach in the context of dual diagnosis. For example, the book describes differentially reinforcing sobriety behaviors. To do this the book explains you should reward sobriety behaviors and not provide the reward for substance use behaviors (the reward can range from financial to quality time to a nice dinner, just whatever is rewarding for that substance user). What I wonder with this, is to what extent does differential reinforcement of sobriety behaviors work on someone who is also severely depressed or bipolar and using? Would it be appropriate to withhold a reward from someone who is severely depressed when we know pleasant activities and behavioral activation are helpful at treating depression? With that said, there may be plenty of ways of getting around these concerns and I don't think this book will lead you down a harmful road. I would just highly recommend working in collaboration with a therapist while reading this book if you are dealing with dual-diagnosis as well. A lot of the book is supports harm reduction, doing what works, and taking care of yourself. The book also provides just a lot of really great psycho-education and advice on how you can communicate and support your loved one through the change process. I see their advice in this area just as applicable for dual-diagnosis populations.
The second issue I had with this book probably isn't relevant to the target audience and more relevant to clinicians reading the book. I have an issue with the way they define "punishment." Given the creators of CRAFT is based on CRA, which was heavily drew on behavior analytic principles, an informed reader might expect their definition of punishment to be consistent with how it is defined in behavior analysis. This is not the case in this book. In fact, the way book describes punishment but does not refer to it as such. Taking away a reward that you were expecting in order to see a decrease in a behavior (i.e., using drugs) is a response cost/punishment contingency. This is probably not important to the readers who are the family members seeking help though!
Overall I really loved this book and I would highly recommend. 12-step readers, I encourage you to be open to the content in this book and to approach it with a mind-set of curiosity.
The first is that, while the book does mention the importance of treating underlying mental health conditions multiple times, I am not sure that their treatment recommendations are very dual-diagnosis focused. Moreso, they focus on changing behaviors related to substance use. I would like to see them cite more research about their treatment approach in the context of dual diagnosis. For example, the book describes differentially reinforcing sobriety behaviors. To do this the book explains you should reward sobriety behaviors and not provide the reward for substance use behaviors (the reward can range from financial to quality time to a nice dinner, just whatever is rewarding for that substance user). What I wonder with this, is to what extent does differential reinforcement of sobriety behaviors work on someone who is also severely depressed or bipolar and using? Would it be appropriate to withhold a reward from someone who is severely depressed when we know pleasant activities and behavioral activation are helpful at treating depression? With that said, there may be plenty of ways of getting around these concerns and I don't think this book will lead you down a harmful road. I would just highly recommend working in collaboration with a therapist while reading this book if you are dealing with dual-diagnosis as well. A lot of the book is supports harm reduction, doing what works, and taking care of yourself. The book also provides just a lot of really great psycho-education and advice on how you can communicate and support your loved one through the change process. I see their advice in this area just as applicable for dual-diagnosis populations.
The second issue I had with this book probably isn't relevant to the target audience and more relevant to clinicians reading the book. I have an issue with the way they define "punishment." Given the creators of CRAFT is based on CRA, which was heavily drew on behavior analytic principles, an informed reader might expect their definition of punishment to be consistent with how it is defined in behavior analysis. This is not the case in this book. In fact, the way book describes punishment but does not refer to it as such. Taking away a reward that you were expecting in order to see a decrease in a behavior (i.e., using drugs) is a response cost/punishment contingency. This is probably not important to the readers who are the family members seeking help though!
Overall I really loved this book and I would highly recommend. 12-step readers, I encourage you to be open to the content in this book and to approach it with a mind-set of curiosity.
January 8, 2023
This is definitely one of those life-changing, potentially life-saving books that I'd say is a must-read if you ever find yourself in the position of being responsible for the care of a family member with severe substance abuse issues. The approach it describes is called Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), and the great thing about it to start with is that it's evidence-based and has grown out of a body of research about what actually helps and what is less consistently useful (hi there, 12-step programs* and relying on a higher power ...) or actively harmful. It's also wonderful that what the evidence points to is something most of us in this position would want to do anyway: being kind, not giving up, having hope, and remaining positive in our communication and mindset. A lot of the CRAFT method is not necessarily intuitive, including their recommendations for self-care - when you're in a crisis, taking care of yourself definitely tends to fall by the wayside, so it was a good reminder for me about having to "put on my own oxygen mask first." A major cornerstone of the approach is positive reinforcement for healthy behavior and learning or re-learning how to communicate about difficult issues in positive terms rather than by nagging and criticism.
It's just awesome to have guidance that gives hope about actually being able to help and not being powerless. I guess I had kind of taken the attitude in the past that you can't really help people who decide to behave in ways that are self-destructive - at most you can be a friend and ask them questions that help them engage in self-examination and then in the best case scenario they can figure out for themselves that there are better and healthier and kinder choices they could be making that are more in line with what they themselves want their lives to be. I thought it would be unethical and manipulative and controlling to tell someone what they should want or try more directly to change their behavior. This book was so helpful for me to understand that you can influence your loved ones for good in ways that aren't controlling or manipulative but that go beyond my natural preferences for being Socratic and hands-off - which is necessary when you're dealing with someone whose judgment and cognition and sense of self have been impaired by drug use and/or trauma, not to mention if the person is still a child or teen.
It's also very well-written, clear, easy to understand, and engaging with examples and exercises. Can't recommend this highly enough.
*The book doesn't say don't do 12-step programs, because the authors take the very practical attitude of saying that what individuals find helpful is something individuals should go ahead and do, but they do explain that the evidence on 12-programs is very mixed as far as their effectiveness.
It's just awesome to have guidance that gives hope about actually being able to help and not being powerless. I guess I had kind of taken the attitude in the past that you can't really help people who decide to behave in ways that are self-destructive - at most you can be a friend and ask them questions that help them engage in self-examination and then in the best case scenario they can figure out for themselves that there are better and healthier and kinder choices they could be making that are more in line with what they themselves want their lives to be. I thought it would be unethical and manipulative and controlling to tell someone what they should want or try more directly to change their behavior. This book was so helpful for me to understand that you can influence your loved ones for good in ways that aren't controlling or manipulative but that go beyond my natural preferences for being Socratic and hands-off - which is necessary when you're dealing with someone whose judgment and cognition and sense of self have been impaired by drug use and/or trauma, not to mention if the person is still a child or teen.
It's also very well-written, clear, easy to understand, and engaging with examples and exercises. Can't recommend this highly enough.
*The book doesn't say don't do 12-step programs, because the authors take the very practical attitude of saying that what individuals find helpful is something individuals should go ahead and do, but they do explain that the evidence on 12-programs is very mixed as far as their effectiveness.
January 19, 2021
This book took me some time to read. I treated it as if it were a textbook because it was filled with useful Information.
Beyond Addiction speaks to the side of addiction most books do not. Harm Reduction. The CRAFT (community reinforcement and family training) method is not widely known, and it is important more people get educated on it. It teaches how people being affected by someone’s addiction can take care of themselves to have more space for their loved one, how to communicate, how to processes the negative feelings that are against the person using substances. CRAFT is not just about supporting and helping the person with an addiction but how to take care of the relationship and how to respond to different situations.
The way someone who is suffering from addiction is treated by friends and family really can influence their recovery. CRAFT is useful information because it helps people around them understand and know what they can do. It gives the person who is recovering more support in different places. This support again can make or break someone’s recovery.
I meet my clients where they are at, if they want to completely stop using and go to AA, I help them with that. If they want to take the harm reduction approach and go little by little, I help them do this in a safe manner. Some therapist do not support the harm reduction model. Beyond addiction helps to educate why the harm reduction model is a viable option.
I will be taking notes from this book and building up a 8 week curriculum to use with clients. Even if you don’t believe in the harm reduction method this is still a good book to read for someone who is affected by someone’s substance use
Beyond Addiction speaks to the side of addiction most books do not. Harm Reduction. The CRAFT (community reinforcement and family training) method is not widely known, and it is important more people get educated on it. It teaches how people being affected by someone’s addiction can take care of themselves to have more space for their loved one, how to communicate, how to processes the negative feelings that are against the person using substances. CRAFT is not just about supporting and helping the person with an addiction but how to take care of the relationship and how to respond to different situations.
The way someone who is suffering from addiction is treated by friends and family really can influence their recovery. CRAFT is useful information because it helps people around them understand and know what they can do. It gives the person who is recovering more support in different places. This support again can make or break someone’s recovery.
I meet my clients where they are at, if they want to completely stop using and go to AA, I help them with that. If they want to take the harm reduction approach and go little by little, I help them do this in a safe manner. Some therapist do not support the harm reduction model. Beyond addiction helps to educate why the harm reduction model is a viable option.
I will be taking notes from this book and building up a 8 week curriculum to use with clients. Even if you don’t believe in the harm reduction method this is still a good book to read for someone who is affected by someone’s substance use
April 14, 2019
The overall advice I've received from counsellors about how to deal with a loved one who has addictions has been that there's very little I can do: I need to stop enabling them and let them hit rock bottom; I need to detach and set boundaries; I can offer resources but otherwise it's up to them to change.
This book gives very different advice and right from the beginning it feels right. There IS something you can do: You can motivate your loved one to change through positive reinforcement. Beyond Addiction is a workbook for people who want to help a loved one who has an addiction. Its concepts are based on proven research, and they seem like common sense once pointed out.
A line from the book sums up the premise well: "You can help. Helping yourself helps. Your loved one isn't crazy. The world isn't black-and-white. Labels do more harm than good. Different people need different options. Treatment isn't the be-all and end-all. Ambivalence is normal. People can be helped at any time. Life is a series of experiments."
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who is struggling with addictions. The book has lots of useful takeaways and has the potential to completely change the way you see your loved one's addiction, though the authors often seem to be selling their particular business throughout, which I don't think is necessary.
This book gives very different advice and right from the beginning it feels right. There IS something you can do: You can motivate your loved one to change through positive reinforcement. Beyond Addiction is a workbook for people who want to help a loved one who has an addiction. Its concepts are based on proven research, and they seem like common sense once pointed out.
A line from the book sums up the premise well: "You can help. Helping yourself helps. Your loved one isn't crazy. The world isn't black-and-white. Labels do more harm than good. Different people need different options. Treatment isn't the be-all and end-all. Ambivalence is normal. People can be helped at any time. Life is a series of experiments."
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has someone in their life who is struggling with addictions. The book has lots of useful takeaways and has the potential to completely change the way you see your loved one's addiction, though the authors often seem to be selling their particular business throughout, which I don't think is necessary.
November 10, 2020
I wanted to read this book to learn more about the CRAFT program. After completing this, it seems like an excellent program. The book is more so a workbook for families affected by addiction and there are several self-grading scales and activities the authors guide one through. It conveys warm empathy for both the substance user and their family which I appreciated.
“It takes awareness to be proactive instead of reactive, to try something different instead of going back to the same old dysfunctional routine.”
“Using substances or engaging in other compulsive behaviors is goal-oriented behavior, not crazy or stupid or immoral.”
“How Do People Change? Over time. With stops and starts, along a crooked line. With practice. With ambivalence. More often than not, without formal help. When the trade-offs seem worth it. With a little help—sometimes a lot of help—from friends and family. With anguish. With effort. With joy.”
“People do not use substances in a vacuum. Their relationships impact their substance use just as their substance use impacts their relationships.”
“It takes awareness to be proactive instead of reactive, to try something different instead of going back to the same old dysfunctional routine.”
“Using substances or engaging in other compulsive behaviors is goal-oriented behavior, not crazy or stupid or immoral.”
“How Do People Change? Over time. With stops and starts, along a crooked line. With practice. With ambivalence. More often than not, without formal help. When the trade-offs seem worth it. With a little help—sometimes a lot of help—from friends and family. With anguish. With effort. With joy.”
“People do not use substances in a vacuum. Their relationships impact their substance use just as their substance use impacts their relationships.”
February 27, 2022
I did the audio book and I wouldn’t recommend that the way to go for this book (I did audio since it was the only option at the E-Library) as there were a lot of interaction pieces and exercises that would have been easier to engage in a written copy. Audio only benefited when they were telling stories from previous clients. I feel the content was good and challenged the reader to go deeper into why the addict was engaging in addiction and what they were getting out of it (the positives of the addiction) and how to compete with those positives. This book also tapped into habit and motivation so it could be used in elsewhere in other people’s lives. Between this book and “Understanding and helping an Addict and keeping your sanity” I think the latter was better but I am still glad I exposed this book to myself. There were times where I felt it was hard to get through with all the questions and exercises. I will probably read “Understanding Addiction, Know Science, No Stigma” next. Happy reading!!
May 2, 2022
I was a little skeptical when I started because of a couple comments about certain examples and the reviewer’s personal belief that you cannot be soft with addiction. However this book resonates with me more than anything else I have read about addiction and behavior modification for those with any type of psychological disorder. It is not promoting going east when things are difficult. On the contrary, the patience required to follow this disciplined approach is the most likely to have huge payoffs for those with addictions and those who suffer as collateral affects of the addiction. The approach is very complimentary to Al Anon and other twelve step programs. It is a long read, but take what you can and leave the rest.
November 1, 2023
Even the intro to this book is a balm. The emphasis on kindness and compassion and being comfortable with ambivalence is exactly what I needed. I do think it can be a little “rose-colored glasses” in terms of how a loved one with addiction problems might respond to a shift to a kinder approach, particularly via the anecdotes. I wouldn’t want someone to feel responsible if their loved one doesn’t respond positively to a shift in approach. The book does emphasize taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, and allowing your loved one to experience the consequences of their actions, which are hard to do, particularly with a child, but absolutely necessary. I bought the hard copy of this book so I could continually go back to most helpful parts.
August 12, 2018
This will not be the most cheerful or un-put-downable book you'll ever read, but it is a book that most of us would benefit from reading not just once but several times. I absolutely wish I'd gotten my hands on it many years earlier than I did.
If you're trying to figure out how to help family or friends addicted to substances or poor lifestyle decisions, you need this book! Read it before you try to navigate the mess of mainstream medicine and read it TWICE before you think about treatment or therapy!!
It isn't a be-all-end-all resource in and of itself, but it will inform the way you look at everything else for the better.
If you're trying to figure out how to help family or friends addicted to substances or poor lifestyle decisions, you need this book! Read it before you try to navigate the mess of mainstream medicine and read it TWICE before you think about treatment or therapy!!
It isn't a be-all-end-all resource in and of itself, but it will inform the way you look at everything else for the better.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews