Can Anyone Tell Me?: Essential Questions about Grief and Loss

by Meghan Riordan Jarvis

A leading grief expert answers some of the most frequently asked questions about grief and loss, offering hopeful real-world lessons.If you’ve experienced the trauma of loss, you might find yourself struggling with the “whys” of Why can’t I remember anything? Why can’t I sleep? Why do I feel angry and isolated? Why do I suddenly dislike my friends? Psychotherapist and grief specialist Meghan Riordan Jarvis shares a research-based resource filled with clinical insights and practical steps toward navigating loss with Can Anyone Tell Me? “Though each experience is unique, we all grieve in our bodies,” Meghan says. “By recognizing grief as a kind of trauma, we better understand why our mind and body respond in sometimes perplexing ways to loss.” In this accessible guide, she answers the most frequently asked questions about the grieving process, offering hopeful lessons informed by neuroscience and biophysical science. Communicated in manageable bites and with profound real-world stories, it is structured as a series of questions broken into sections on the brain, body, emotions, sense of self, relationships, timeline expectations, and how to get the right support. Grief and loss are an inevitable part of life. What you’re going through is normal, and becoming grief informed will help you begin to feel less confused and alone. Whether you are currently grieving or are looking to support a loved one, here is help to uncover the answers to why and discover what you can do to help.

Genres: Grief, Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

240 pages, Paperback

Published October 29, 2024

About the author

MA LCSW

Reviews

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much!! I wish everyone who has faced loss or knows someone who has, reads this when they are ready. I found myself writing down so many of the authors suggestions for helpful things to say to others in grief (in spite of having experienced it myself, I felt so uninitiated when it came to being a good support to others.) Reading this book normalized my experience of losing my mother in 2022. So much of what I felt after, made me feel like an alien in my own body and had I known at the time how normal it all was, it would have been a small comfort. The author covers so many important topics. This is certainly the best book I have read so far on this subject ❤️

[Ariana Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Grief literacy is so important!!!!! Unfortunately I didn’t get much out of the real patient stories because they often didn’t include a resolution (or point?) I did love the advice for supporters of grievers in every chapter - it is often overlooked how massive of a role their smalls acts play in the grief journey.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Meghan Riordan Jarvis speaks about grief, a strange thing happens; suddenly, you (the griever) don’t feel so alone any longer. Which is a huge deal, because as someone who has experienced profound loss, (the kind that knocks you sideways and renders you incapable of taking deep breaths or thinking clearly for who-knows-how-long) I can tell you that you’re most definitely alone on the island of your grief.
Yet, Meghan’s words, and the way she structures the information she shares, are absolutely a life raft off that island. Her new book, “Can Anyone Tell Me? Essential Questions About Grief And Loss” is the roadmap I wish I’d had when my dad died suddenly in 2020. The chapters address specific categories such as “Why Do I Feel So Angry All The Time?” and “Why Do I Feel So Guilty And Regretful?” Due to this ingenious format, it sincerely feels as though Meghan has reached into our brains and plucked out the exact questions we’re (probably) afraid to ask- or admit to feeling. As a reader, you never feel overwhelmed with information- you can choose which chapter to read based on your specific needs at any given moment. Meghan speaks from her heart, and from her own pain (she has lost both of her parents within the last eight years and has also experienced treatment for loss-related trauma). In writing “Can Anyone Tell Me?” she has essentially created the curriculum which every workplace, every grief support group, every school, every counselor - EVERYONE - should draw from.
If you have recently experienced the pain of profound loss, or are supporting someone who has, or if you have people you love in your life- this book is for you.

[Jennifer Warnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learned more about my grief from this book than I did in 8 months of therapy!

[Julianne Rollefson · Rating 5 out of 5]

After experiencing life changing loss, I read and listened to every grief-related book and podcast I could find. And when I wanted to dive deeper into my understanding of loss and its impacts, I completed a Counseling Psychology master’s program, hoping it would not only help me process my own grief but would also prepare me to support other grievers.

My 60 hours of required and recommended credit hours including detailed information about numerous diagnoses that impact incredibly small percentages of people, and zero actionable information about grief and loss—something that impacts everyone.

So I kept searching for what I wanted most—an expert who could explain to me what actually happens when we are grieving and who could point me in the direction of tangible ways to integrate grief into my life and help others to do the same. That’s when I found Meghan Riordan Jarvis.

Meghan’s new book, “Can Anyone Tell Me? Essential Questions About Grief and Loss” is the book that I wish I had as a griever, a student of psychology, a helping professional, and a friend and family member of loved ones who have experienced loss.

Meghan has an unparalleled ability to explain complex scientific concepts in accessible language, backed by compelling case studies and personal anecdotes. Her twenty years of clinical experience as a trauma and grief and loss therapist informs the scaffolding of the book’s wisdom and insights, and her palpable passion for imparting practical advice—and, even more importantly—hope, for both grievers and their supporters shines through on every page.

The book is organized into chapters that outline the questions to which every griever seeks answers, including “how long is grief supposed to take?” “why am I so angry all the time?” and “why do I think that butterfly is my mom?” and provides answers that are informative, digestible, relatable, and compassionate.

Meghan’s voice is quickly becoming one of the most trusted in the grief and loss space, and readers of this book will understand why. She gracefully balances the trusted knowledge of an expert with the warm comfort of a confidant.

I hope to see the essential questions and answers that comprise this book become requisite reading for grievers, grief supporters, educators, clinicians, and organizational leaders as Meghan helps lead the way to a more grief-informed society.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This essential and empowering guide is designed for grieving individuals and their supporters. It not only helps individuals navigate their grief but also provides insights for loved ones on how to support them through the process. The book includes tips and exercises aimed at self-care, guiding readers as they work through their grief. The author's mission is to demystify grief and offer actionable strategies, from creating personal rituals to finding community support.

I appreciated how the author organized the book and presented valuable information. Each chapter addresses common questions: “How long is grief supposed to last?” “Why am I so angry all the time?” “Why do I think that butterfly is my mom?” and “Why do my friends annoy me?” The answers are informative, digestible, relatable, and compassionate.

The book serves as a resourceful collection of ideas categorized into questions, answers, and explanations. It also provides numerous tips on how to support oneself or others through the grieving process. It also includes stories, case studies, and easily understandable scientific explanations.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbymedia.com/blogs/transcri...

[Jon Cowper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for everyone. Why? Because at one time or another you will NEED this book. It is a practical guide to navigate grief. Easy to read as it’s laid out to pick up and put down when needed. Meghan shares her experience, strength, and hope through her own process of losing her mom and truly understanding what we the bereaved need. Helpful resources. Practical exercises. Written in layman’s terms. Understandable but most of all … grief is not a disorder. It’s being human. Meghan normalizes all we are going through without any shame of “you’re doing this right or wrong”. This is a book that every therapist and client needs to read and pass on. Buy it for you. Buy it for your therapist. Buy it for a friend. Just buy it. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me.

[Cassandra Manning · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just so happened to open this book at the exact time of my grandmother's death. It serves as a balm to the soul and is particularly helpful if you've never been through the grieving process. As an unfortunate 'seasoned griever', I still found this book incredibly helpful, balanced in both practical advice and knowledge for those of us in the grieving process. To anyone looking to pick up this title, you aren't alone in your grief and I hope you find this book as soothing as I did in your time of need.

[Paul & Karen Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was devastated when my Mom died in 2009, and I wish this book had been available then! I've read a lot of grief books. While I found many of them helpful, none was as practical, reassuring, and well organized as this one. Grief is isolating and can make you think you're losing your mind. This book helps you understand that you are not alone and that what you are experiencing is normal. It has tips and exercises to help you take care of yourself and move through your grief. It also includes great information about how to support people who are grieving.

[Robyn Obermeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard book for me to read, so sad all these things about grief that we all go thru but never understand. I feel like it does help to know more about loss and how it can affect you and think about life without someone you love. Definitely very painful, I can see how it can overtake you're life and overwhelm you're body and mind. Flight Fight or Freeze on any giving day over andover again until time heals the shock.

[Juliet · Rating 5 out of 5]

A much needed book in the grief space. Easy to read and understand for both grievers and those who are the supports. Highly recommend.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

clearly, I've read a lot about death this year; this is one of the better things I read this summer... highly recommend for you or a friend

[Ashley Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you can, read this before your grief experience. It is hard to absorb anything during the grief. This is easy to read, offers scientific reasons for your somatic responses, and gives help to the support network. A wonderful resource.