Now That She's Gone: A Daughter's Reflections on Loss, Love, and a Mother's Legacy – A Grief and Healing Book for Women

by Chelsea Ohlemiller

The day your mother dies is the day you acquire a powerful and persistent new companion--grief. It is also the day you become the keeper of a legacy that has the potential to affect generations to come. Between a past you can't let go of and a future you can hardly find the energy to think about, you stand. The ground may feel shaky, but it is sacred. And it must be tread.

With vulnerability and honesty, Chelsea Ohlemiller walks you through her own journey of grief at the loss of her mother in order to help you along yours. These raw reflections on heartbreak, love, and hope in the midst of sorrow can help you put words to your own tangled feelings when you are speechless with grief. Chelsea does not couch her narrative in spiritual jargon or edit her feelings into "acceptable" sentiments that ultimately mean nothing and help no one. Instead, she invites you to be radically honest about your anger, disbelief, and sorrow so that you can move forward even if it feels like you will never be able to move on.

Whether you had a great relationship with your mother or a complicated one, you will find in this book a compassionate and understanding friend for the days, months, and years to come.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir

272 pages, Paperback

First published August 13, 2024

Reviews

[Melany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a breathtakingly beautiful account of Chelsea's grief. The pain, loss, grieving process, healing, and the love shared between her mother. It's just a raw and beautiful thing that people will resonate with over the loss of a loved one. This made me cry and made me feel so touched during so many moments. My mother is alive, but I could feel every moment of Chelsea's grief and the unimaginable pain she has to deal with losing her mother. I loved every moment of this book for the transparency and the truth she let out into the world surrounding her grief. This was beautiful and a truly helpful book for anyone grieving, even if it's not your mother.

[Nursebookie · Rating 5 out of 5]

TITLE: Now That She's Gone: A Daughter's Reflections on Loss, Love, and a Mother's Legacy
AUTHOR: Chelsea Ohlemiller
PUB DATE: 08.13.2024

The day your mother dies is the day you acquire a powerful and persistent new companion--grief. It is also the day you become the keeper of a legacy that has the potential to affect generations to come. Between a past you can't let go of and a future you can hardly find the energy to think about, you stand. The ground may feel shaky, but it is sacred. And it must be tread.

Whether you had a great relationship with your mother or a complicated one, you will find in this book a compassionate and understanding friend for the days, months, and years to come.

THOUGHTS:

This book is the best friend and best companion you will ever have when you are navigating grief, especially the loss of a loved one. Chelsea connects with her readers so beautifully. As a nurse, I say comfort people who experience loss. This was an incredible read for me.

[Hannah Zimmerman-Federle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelsea is able to articulate what we all feel once we lose our mom. The confusion, the loneliness, the fear, and oh the love. The great big love we felt. She does a beautiful job sharing essays about grief in her own way but also acknowledging all different types of relationships. This is a beautiful, beautiful book. Make sure you have tissues!

[nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief is a bitch, I'm sorry if you're reading this book because it means you're probably in the thick of it, this book was like thoughts were taken from my own head. There are lots of things that helped make sense or even to know your thoughts are normal as are the struggles that come with the loss of your mom. Big hugs and love to those on this journey.

[Leslie Scoggin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this whole audiobook in one day! It was so good! She hit so many key points about how hard loosing your mom is.

[Lisa Leshaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to write when your world has been shattered and you've suffered the most devastating of losses. Author Chelsea Ohlemiller does just that in her breathtaking book that walks us through the loss of her beautiful mother. With courage and gut-wrenching honesty, Chelsea wraps us in a blanket of 'I see you', 'you're never alone' comfort that line OUR hearts with hope. Each step she writes in her journey is a chance to heal. We root for Chelsea as we root for ourselves. In the end, we come to know a stunning young woman and the beautiful mother who left a forever imprint on her wonderful spirit. Read it today. You'll be touched in places, spaces that welcome you home.

[Liz Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelsea’s words are honest, raw, comforting, relatable, and so encouraging.

This book will be a beautiful companion to anyone navigating the ebbs and flows of grief.

It’s the kind of book that you’ll want to have extra copies on hand. It would be a thoughtful gift for a friend or family member. It’s a wonderful resource for anyone experiencing loss, and it’ll be a great selection to include in your personal library. 🙏🏻

Books like these remind us that, while grief is a very personal journey, we can walk alongside one another and find comfort in sharing our stories and experiences.

Chelsea is a warm and compassionate soul, and you’ll feel immediately cared for and connected to her when you read this beautiful book, which is such a tender piece of her heart gifted to each of us. 🙏🏻

[Jillian Wolters · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t praise this book enough. I’ve read a few grief books that have been helpful, but this one just really hits home and I connected with it and her on SO many levels. It made me laugh, sob and go “exactly” SO many times.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother and I even those who have not, as this book can explain the truly, gut wrenching grief someone is experiencing when they lose their mother. I often who read quotes to my husband because so often, it’s hard to put my feelings into words and this book could do just that.

So thank you Chelsea, this book meant a lot and I’m sure I will refer to it from time to time.

“Grief is a relationship. It’s the way we figure out how to keep loving them even though they’re gone. And in order to do that we have to keep going. And going and going.”

[Karin G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This raw, emotional book about grief, hope and healing will resonate with all women who have lost their mothers. Chelsea pays homage to her wonderful mother, while also reaching out to women who may have had less than amazing moms. The loss of our mothers is life altering and earth shattering. Chelsea shares the feelings so many of us feel, while also allowing us to see the hope in her healing, even when the road to that healing wasn’t always linear. I both read the book and listened to the audio. The audio was like having a friend sitting with me, a friend who completely understands my grief. I will share this book with all of my friends who have lost their moms in hope that they will find the same support and comfort that I did. 💜💜

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelsea Ohlemiller has a way of speaking directly to your heart. Her raw emotion is translated onto the pages of her new book. It's filled with quotes from Chelsea's Mother's journal written to her young daughter who would miss the opportunity to have her Memere grow old with her. It's a story of dying, and death, and grief. But also a story of redemption, hope and healing. Born of her posts and conversations from her space of the internet, HopeAndHarshRealities.com , this book is full of wisdom and truth for those who have grieved a loved one. Join the journey to healing with Chelsea. Available in major retailers on August 13, 2024.

[Tori Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Chelsea's writings back when I first lost my mother to a motorcycle accident. I have never read words that have helped me feel more seen in my life. If you've lost your mom (at any age in any capacity) then I would HIGHLY recommend this book. I resonate so heavily with her words that sometimes it feels as if she's been inside my mind and heart and pulled the information directly from myself. I am so thankful to have found this book. You can pick and choose pieces/chapters as you feel you need them too which is amazing. Grief is never a straight line. So I love that the format allows me to choose what I need on any given day and is something I can come back to time and time again.

[Nichole Cappon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Her words first brought comfort and healing grace through her social media posts and blog. I felt others just didn't understand the depths of my grief. The fierceness with which I missed my mom made others uncomfortable.Then, I found Chelsea's Facebook page. I felt like she took the words right off my heart and put them on paper. It was everything I was thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

Chelsea just released her book, "Now That She's Gone." It's raw and authentic. Perfect for those of us who have been beautifully broken and are now navigating life motherless. It brings together a community that no one wants to be a part of, but here we are.

[Dina Siravo-McCaffery · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will bring you tears and hope. The day my beautiful Mom died my world shattered. The only family I had was gone in an instant. Grief struck me so hard that I thought I’d never make it out of it. Then I stumbled upon a Facebook group Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities. I found healing in the beautiful words of Chelsea Ohlemiller. She got it. She showed me that grief is non-linear and it’s OK to feel.

As a writer, I understand the power of words and storytelling. Within the pages of Chelsea’s first book “Now that She’s Gone” I find validation, hope, and comfort. She brings you on her journey with grief. Her poignant words will make you cry and smile because you feel them. It has deeply touched my soul. If you are grieving the loss of your mother, or another loved one, read it…you won’t regret it.

I am still grieving and I always will. But now I know that I’m not alone.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelsea is amazing writer and the book was everything I excepted and more. She put her heart and soul into it. I was so excited to read this. I thought I healed from self from the grief when I lost my mom 12 years ago. Never knew I was still having some grief I never healed from. This book put a peace over me and helped me heal from the rest of my grief I was dealing with. Every word resonated with me and validated all my feeling I had. I felt I wasn’t alone in the journey anymore. This book is good for everyone even the ones who haven’t lost a parent and would give them an eye opening experience what it feels like. One of the best books I ever came across and more! Thank you, Chelsea!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

True and raw feelings that will align with many of the reader's experiences in life. I related to all of the essays. Each day for me was a different essay and some times I stayed in that essay for many days. The ups and downs are lonely, but Chelsea's words can support those times of loneliness, grief and sadness. Other days, Chelsea's words push me out of the grief and into the light. Again, sharing the feeling of happiness in a memory or the awe of a Cardinal showing up in my window. I recommend this book for everyone. Its not just for someone who has lost, but many others supporting loved ones in grief.

[Jane Dotson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t finish this book.
My heart feels her pain as I’ve also lost my mother and there are no words to describe what that’s like. So my criticism isn’t on her loss or her story.
My criticism is on the writing and just the format of the book.
It was very repetitive and felt like the book was going no where. Every portion was the same as the one before just phrased a little differently.

This is the type of writing that would much better be spoken face to face than written and published.

This is not the type of book I would recommend or even try to finish reading myself to help through the grieving process or gain spiritual knowledge.

[Danielle Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelsea, you have a way of putting grief into the most beautiful words that can help to heal a broken heart. I lost my Mom in 2020, at that same age your Mom was. I was 31 with a 16 month old. Learning to be a Mom and go through all the ups and downs of motherhood without your own Mom for advice is a different kind of difficult. You can have so many people around you for support but it’s not the same. Thank you for sharing your heartbreak and putting pen to paper for the rest of us. While most of us don’t know you personally, we know your Mom is proud of you and proud of this incredible book ❤️

[Joyce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is perfect for anyone who has lost their mother. It doesn't have to have just happened. Everyone that is still grieving the loss of their mother (who isn't eternally grieving) will appreciate and should pick this book up.
I love that it is organized in sections (key topic areas) and then you can select a piece.
I wasn't ready to face the initial grief over again so I chose a section to start with that I connected with most.
Honestly, get the book! It will help ... you won't regret it

[Sydnei Kaplan · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a daughter who has walked, and continues to walk, the path that Chelsea has shared in this precious book, I can promise that you will find comfort, healing and hope in its pages. I've been reading the author's words on her blog and social media for years now, and this book is written with the same raw yet tender honesty, empathy and so much love.

For anyone who has lost a loved one, especially a mother, this book will feel like a caring companion who helps you feel seen and supported along your grief journey.

[Samantha Brazell · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one wants to be in the Motherless Daughters club but I’m so glad I found Chelsea’s Fb page to give me in site that I’m definitely not alone.

My mom passed away 19 years ago and this journey doesn’t get easier you just figure out how to navigate your life without your mom. Even though I was much younger than Chelsea when I lost my Mom her words still speak to me in a way no one else has ever been able to do. I’m so glad I came across her page and I’m so thankful for this book and the comfort it’s brought me and will bring to so many others.

[Deirdre Fedele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I preordered this book and it said it would arrive the middle of September, I received it August 13 which is my Nanas birthday (passed 2004). I lost my Mom this May unexpectedly. I started to read this book I was a crying mess, it was like I was writing it. I haven’t been able to get through much of the book, I think it’s still to raw for me I need more time. But I look forward to finishing this book. Just amazing, it’s nice to have something to look forward too. I will update when I get through it 🥰

[Alyssa Kahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been following Chelsea's page, Happiness, Hope, and Harsh Realities, almost since the day my mom died 4 years ago. Everything she writes speaks to my soul and this book is no different. Out of all of the grief books I've read over the years, this is the one I recommend. When the day comes that a friend loses her mom, this is the book I will buy for her. This is it. Well done Chelsea, you've put so many motherless daughter's thoughts to paper. The words we can't find to explain our grief, (and the million other feelings) you put to paper. Thank you for that!

[Sarah Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I own both the physical copy & audio version of this book. Chelsea has an amazing gift to inspire others in her heartfelt messages. Her words perfectly capture my feelings and she’s able to beautifully articulate how the loss of a mother affects every aspect of your life. I highly recommend this book to not only those that have lost a mother, but anyone else that played a major role in your life. This book also makes the perfect gift to those, whether freshly grieving or those that have been gone for years. 💜💜💜

[Elizabeth Lesser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chelseas words are so raw, honest, and beautiful. It perfectly articulates what we all feel when we lose our mother. She does such a wonderful job of acknowledging different types of mother daughter relationships even if they are different than her own. The loss of a mother is life altering. You feel like your entire world has come crashing down. Chelsea portrays these feelings this so accurately, while also showing that there is so much hope and better days ahead. This book would be my number one recommendation for anyone who has lost a mother at any point in their lives.

[Samantha King · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very inspiring read (or listen) that I needed at this point in my grief journey. Highly recommend to any daughter grieving the loss of her mother. It is a tad religious but not too much and easy to get past if you’re not into that sort of thing (🙋🏼‍♀️). Thank you Chelsea- for putting into words so much of what I feel. I played the chapter about loving a woman who has lost her mother for my husband so he could better understand, I think it explains well what we experience going through this tremendous loss.

[Anita Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lost my momma last year,(August 3 to be exact) during that time frame I found her Facebook page and began following her and have shared her post many times. I received my book to day and I’m halfway through it. I had to stop for today while reading to have a good cry and do some journaling, but I’ll get back to finishing it in a few days. She writes the words I can’t say but feel and her blogs have helped me with my grief

[Renee' Yarbrough · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Chels on her FB page Happiness, Hope & Harsh Realities, then on her IG @hopeandharshrealities a couple years after losing Mama. Her words helped me say what I hadn't been able to, because they would not come. I'm looking forward to using this book like a reference, for myself or anyone of my friends who join this reality. Thank you Chels, for giving us a voice when we felt we didn't have one. 💜🩷

[Jenn James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is everything I’ve felt, wanted to say and couldn’t find the words, since my beautiful Mom died. It has given me so much comfort, knowing others feel the same way. I’ve actually purchased 4 books! One for me, one for my sister and a friend, and one to have just in case someone else needs it. It is truly a gift! Chelsea is amazing with words! I feel blessed to have found this beautiful book.

[Tamara Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across Chelsea Ohlemiller on FB on her platform Happiness, Hope, & Harsh Realities and her words touched my heart. Chelsea’s book is her tribute to her mother and it’s her reflections on Loss and Love. In reading her book the tears will flow but you will also smile in reflecting back to your own memories of your mother. Her book will show you the rainbow will appear after dark gloomy days and it’s ok, you’re not alone.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having lost my mother suddenly and unexpectedly during a accident just 6 months ago, I needed this book. Chelsea spoke beautifully to the pain I experienced in those initial days and also to the pain I'm still experiencing. This book helped me understand my grief better and also remember that even when I thought grief might end me, I am still surviving. My life does not end just because my mother's life ended.