The Astrology House

by Carinn Jade

A group of wealthy Manhattanites escapes to an astrology-themed retreat, where simmering resentments and long-held secrets lead to a shocking death.

Margot needs a minute. She’s been working eighty-hour weeks as a newly minted partner at her law firm. She’s disconnected from her brother, the only family she has left. And she’s still not pregnant after years of trying.

Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat promises rest, relaxation, and wisdom for Margot and her friends. With Instagram-worthy views and nightly astrology readings in an impeccably restored waterfront Victorian house, this getaway should be nothing but idyllic fun. For Margot’s brother, Adam, it’s the perfect opportunity to rekindle the romance that fuels his writing, but his wife, Aimee, hides the darkness of her past with a beautiful social media feed. Their friend, Farah, is a successful doctor who cannot admit she’s losing control. But no one holds a greater secret than their astrologer host, Rini. She has a plan for all her guests, and one won’t be leaving Stars Harbor alive.

Genres: Thriller, Mystery, Mystery Thriller, Fiction, Audiobook, Suspense, Adult

307 pages, Hardcover

First published July 16, 2024

Reviews

[Meagan✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do humans act according to fate or free will?

Brief Summary-
Margot and her group of friends all need a getaway vacation. So Margot books a weekend away at Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat, that promises rest and relaxation with some added astrology fun. Including readings, etc. Hanging out in a house full of your friends sounds like a great idea right? Well with everyone having a secret to hide, being in close proximity can lead to some drama and even a murder.

What To Expect-
🌖Astrology Themed Retreat
🌖Multiple POVS
🌖Rich People Behaving Badly
🌖A Shocking Twist At The End

Content Warnings-
🌖Pregancy Struggles
🌖Forced Abortion

“Your future will not be free until you right the past”

My Thoughts-
I loved this book. It’s such a unique story. The added astrology trope to the mystery/thriller was such an interesting spin. I was engaged throughout the story. I was never bored. I devoured this book in one day. I just couldn’t put it down. There was so many intricate layers to the story, so many secrets. I just needed to know where the plot was going to lead. The big reveal had my jaw on the floor. Actually my jaw was pretty much unhinged the last 20% of the book. I just couldn’t not believe it.

The writing and pacing were excellent. This book had me hooked from the first chapter.

There is a lot of characters and dynamics but the author did a wonderful job distinguishing each individual. When I think of the the friends group I can describe them as whole.. delulu, selfish, neurotic, aloof, desperate. I did like a few of the characters. Some of them did not stand out to me. I liked reading about each persons signs and hearing about their birth charts. Before the author introduces the characters POV in the beginning you get to read sun, moon and rising sign on an astrology card along with some other personality traits. Which I found very fun and helpful. There is a lot of information in the beginning which some may find confusing. But it all click’s at one point.

♓️Margot married to Ted.
♑️Occupation: Lawyer
♒️Sister to Adam

♋️Aimee married to Adam.
♎️Occupation: Social Media Influencer
♍️Best friends with Farah

♍️Farah married to Joe.
♎️Occupation: Doctor, Obgyn
♌️Best friends with Aimee

♒️Ted married to Margot.
♑️Occupation: Investment Banker
♊️Best Friends with Rick

♏️Adam married to Aimee.
♏️ Occupation: Writer
♈️Brother to Margot

♌️Rick married to Eden
♈️ Occupation: Investment Banker
♊️Best Friends with Ted

♈️Eden married to Rick
♏️Occupation: Jewelry Designer
♊️Frieds with the group because she is married to Rick

With a friends group like that, you can expect some drama.

Overall-
I think this is an awesome debut book. I can’t wait to check out the Authors future work. There were some connections and twist and turns I didn’t see coming , that made this novel very hard to put down. All my astrology friends who enjoy reading Mystery/Thrillers add this book to your TBR expeditiously.

Playlist-
🌞Gypsy- Fleetwood Mac
🌞Crystal- Stevie Nicks
🌞Young & Beautiful- Lana Del Rey
🌞Witchy Woman- Eagles
🌞Dream- Fleetwood Mac
🌞All The Good Girls Go To Hell- Billie Eliish
🌞Third Eye- Florence The Machine
🌞Aint No Rest For The Wicked- Cage The Elephant
🌞Rhiannon- Fleetwood Mac
🌞Stargirl Interlude- The Weekend
🌞Triggered - Jhene Aiko
🌞In My Feelings- Lana Del Rey
🌞Mr. Brightside- The Killers
🌞Dont Hurt Yourself- Beyonce
🌞Watermelon Sugar- Harry Styles
🌞Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond
🌞Energy- Tyla Jane
🌞Season Of The Witch- Lana Del Rey

🌛Thanks to NetGalley, Carinn Jade, and Atria Books Publishing for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review🌜

[Sujoya - theoverbookedbibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️


“This weekend there will be surprises, even for those who don’t believe. You can’t control the people around you. These readings will conjure unexpected emotions, unforeseen actions, and even more shocking reactions. This is a normal result of that which is buried rising to the surface. Some of you will feel blindsided, while others will feel vindicated. This is your fate.”

Eight wealthy Manhattanites, each dealing with their problems and harboring secrets, hope to unwind, disconnect, reconnect and find some peace of mind with the help of Rini, resident astrologist and owner of Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat in Long Island, over a weekend. The four couples are known to one another, but little did they expect that the idyllic weekend would not only expose the dysfunctional relationships and secrets between spouses, siblings and trusted friends but also lead to revelations that could potentially fracture these relationships beyond repair. Was the weekend deliberately designed to wreak havoc in their lives? What is Rini’s agenda? Are they being manipulated or is someone among them responsible for the strange events? Chaos ensues as the group is trapped due to inclement weather.

“You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

I was intrigued by the premise of The Astrology House by Carinn Jade, I found the concept of an astrology-guided retreat really interesting and loved how the author incorporated the astrology aspect into the narrative. I also enjoyed the suspenseful, claustrophobic vibe, the setting and the description of the old Victorian house and the rooms. The novel features a large cast of characters but is skillfully structured such that it is not difficult to follow who is who and how they are connected. The narrative, which flows well, is shared from multiple first-person POVs, which gives us a well-rounded picture of the events that gradually unfold. Though the pacing is a tad uneven, the author injects enough twists and surprises to keep you engaged. The climax is truly shocking.

Barring Rini, I didn’t find any of the characters particularly interesting, though each of the characters was well-fleshed out, complex and flawed, which definitely contributed to the drama. However, the drama did get a tad too soapy for my liking, and I thought the author piled on more than was required in this aspect, especially for a novel in the mystery/thriller genre.

However, overall, I did find this to be a promising debut novel and I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

Many thanks to Atria Books for the digital review copy via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in this review are my own. This novel was published on July 16, 2024.

Connect with me! ✏ Instagram ✏ My Blog ✏ The StoryGraph

[Panic!_at_the_Library · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Astrology House is a quirky thriller about a group of couples visiting, well, an astrology-focused bed and breakfast of sorts. While they are there, cracks in each of the relationships are exposed. And there is also something a bit off about the owner of the property. Pretty engaging and entertaining overall.

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gripping, hard to put down and dramatic! The Astrology House instantly drew me in and had me hooked from the very beginning! I had a good time reading this book and found it to be very entertaining. There is so much going on with the characters, I liken this book to a nighttime soap opera ala Desperate Housewives in that it's dramatic, entertaining, full of secrets, and dysfunction. The Astrology House was enjoyable from cover to cover with no down time.

Margot is looking for answers and a time to get away with her husband, Ted and her brother, Adam, his wife Aimee, and their close friends. She could really use the time away from her busy job and attempts to start a family. The Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat seems like a perfect getaway for relaxing, bonding, getting insight, and fun.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I started this book. I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed the many twists, turns and revelations in this book. There are quite a few characters, but it was easy to keep track of everyone and their individual quirks, issues, and personalities. They are a group with secrets, and it was fun watching everything play out. Rini is the astronomer who is hosting them and has a secret or two herself. Instead of getting their charts read, they could all have a contest to see who has the biggest secret amongst them! This group might look picture perfect, but they are far from it!

I enjoyed the tension which slowly built in this book. I enjoyed the interesting dynamics between the characters. Plus, this book has that trapped feeling that I enjoy in books. They are at home but there is a storm coming in and they are all stuck together as the drama unfolds. I have to say that there was one reveal which I did not see coming and boy was that a shocker!!! Well done, Jaede, well done!

Astrology is discussed but if that is not your thing, don't worry, it’s not overbearing or a HUGE part of the book.

Gripping, well written, well thought out, hard to put down, shocking, and dramatic!

Thank you to Atria Books and Edelweiss who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.

Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com

[Susan Kay - on semihiatus · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really disliked this. I'm not even sure I'll come back to write a full review. By the time I do, I will have already forgotten everything except the premise. Great on paper, but failed execution. Predictable twist. Huge disappointment.

[Frank Phillips · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars for a decent, but not great debut (and probably an outlier opinion alert!!)

The Astrology House was a solid debut by a talented new author, and I had seen some great reviews prior to eagerly picking this one up. Unfortunately, this one ultimately lacked the suspense that I crave in a thriller. I was immediately intrigued by the premise, and while there was astrology throughout, after everything was finally revealed I felt like this novel could have gone without any astrology, at all, as it felt as if it was added in as an afterthought, but perhaps it could just be me?!

Another aspect of the novel I struggled with was that all of the characters were, of course rich, and overall insanely unlikeable; the men were for the most part unfaithful liars, while the women, also liars to an extent, mostly came across as unbelievably less than smart. As far as the storyline went, I expected there to be an initial event that resulted in chaos, with a multilayered and multi-perspective mystery that followed, but this wasn't really the case. This had me wondering what the conflict would be, aside suspicious spouses and repetitive backstabbing; would something major actually happen at some point? These questions are what kept me intrigued enough to keep reading. There really wasn't any suspense until the very end, and instead, this read very much like a soap opera with some minor elements of suspense/mystery added in. A reoccurring theme throughout that kept coming to mind was that money does NOT guarantee happiness, quite the contrary! The whole reasoning as to why it all happened to begin with was very far-fetched to me, and I really had to manage my disbelief. If these are issues you can overcome as a reader then this could be a great read for you, however it just didn't do much for me, sadly.

Despite this one not being a homerun, the quality of the writing was great, and it's undeniable that there is potential here, and since this a debut I'm definitely going to keep my eye on this author's forthcoming work prior to making an official opinion.

[Jasmine from How Useful It Is · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was interesting. Telling fortune in a different setting, at a vacation home to guests coming to stay and on their getaways from work and kids. The location and atmosphere sounds relaxing. Each character has a good background. I just felt bad for Farrah. She never told her crush her feelings. Her story left open. Maybe up to readers' interpretation. Maybe she continue to stay with her husband or maybe she will eventually tell her crush her feelings.

Full casts audiobook! I always liked that. This story followed Margot who wanted to have a baby. Her brother Adam is a writer but blamed that his wife focused on their daughters more than him so he couldn't use her as his muse for his romance novels. Aimee is Adam's wife who is a mom influencer and best friend with her OBGYN Farrah. Farrah is married with kids but started having thoughts on a woman close to her. There's also Margot's husband Ted, Farrah's husband Joe, Eden and Rick who are friends of Ted's, Eric who dated Rini, but their views weren't in the book. There's Rini who runs the vacation home aka astrology house aka giving fortune to guests. There's a surprise character later.

The mystery was the fortune cards left in Adam's room and Margot's room. Margot thought Rini left them for her and she thought she might have some good news after trying to have a baby. Aimee thought Rini looked familiar but Rini said they don't know each other. Rini saw Adam's affair and someone lurking by her cottage. Aimee had an uneasy feeling. She had a guilty conscience on something she did before and it's back to haunt her. Then we meet the mystery character that will explain some things.

Thank you Atria Books and Simon Audio for the opportunity to read, listen, and review.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE ASTROLOGY HOUSE is an entertaining thriller with lots of juicy drama. Four connected couples head to Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat for a much needed getaway, but their planned weekend of relaxation and gaining wisdom from the stars turns ugly when ulterior motives are exposed. The approaching hurricane won’t be the only thing stirring up chaos.

This tense story is told from multiple POVs, and there’s a big cast of characters, but for the most part, each character is easily distinguishable. I found the astrology aspect intriguing and unique, though sometimes I got lost with all the sun and moon houses. Luckily there’s a cheat sheet of sorts before each “reading” with the guest’s astrological information and relationship to other characters.

Most of the book moved at a simmering suspenseful pace, until things went wild during the final twists and reveals. The characters were all rather flawed and difficult, but I ended up liking all of the women, save one. The men had the opposite effect on me.

I’m impressed with this page-turning debut novel, and I’ll definitely keep an eye out for future books from this author. Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for a digital copy of this book. Thoughts are my own.

[Kristy · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 Stars

The first thing that comes to mind when reading this books is drama, drama, drama. The second is too many character point of views, especially since they are all in the first person. All of the characters are wealthy, self-centered, hot messes, and while Rini, the host and astrologist doesn’t fall into this category, I wouldn’t say she was particularly likable either.

As the title indicates, there’s a lot of astrology in the book, which I found interesting and it did move the story forward. It gives it that slight mystical feeling and that along with the stormy weather plays up the atmospheric mood of the book. With everyone having a secret (or two or three), and Rini manipulating the weekend to expose one of the guests, everyone begins to unravel as the storm, both metaphorical and literal, draws near.

I received an advanced copy through Netgalley in return for an honest review.

[Elle G. Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Astrology House is a suspenseful thriller with a unique setting. Let’s be real, it’s difficult to write an original thriller these days because honestly, readers of the genre have read them all. But things like setting, the drama, and characters are what make them unique. In this case, it was the setting. I loved the idea of t this type of getaway and was really intrigued by the astrological pieces of the novel because I’ve never read anything like it. However, I didn’t care for many of the characters. Perhaps that’s a big part of the novel and why it works. In any event, I found this to be a solid thriller and I look forward to reading more from the author.

𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Barbara Behring · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this debut novel to be rather boring and it took forever for anything to happen. I did like her writing so I will be checking out any new work, but this one just didn't work for me.

[lily · Rating 3 out of 5]

hmm i’m not really sure how to feel about this book. it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great? there were some things i really liked about the book, but some things that i really disliked as well.

some things i liked:
- astrology!! i haven’t read a book where astrology has played a big role, so this was super interesting
- the ending - a few plot twists, some that i expected, some that i didn’t
- the bonds that formed between some of the characters
- none of the characters are perfect, and the good and bad sides of each character is shown
- gay awakening‼️‼️

now some of the things i didn’t like:
- the majority of the characters. i did the math, and i disliked 7 out of 11 of them :) i’m sure the author intended for some of the characters to be unlikable, but there were some that we were supposed to be rooting for that just really irritated me.
- the beginning kind of went in circles. i really liked the astrology aspect, but it felt like everyone was having the same 3 arguments over and over again.
- slow start
- i can’t remember half of the characters names tbh and i finished this book 30 minutes ago
- didn’t feel like a mystery/thriller until the last 1/3 of the book
- everyone is so certain that their partner/best friends/close family members are perfect and would never do something bad

[Jannelies (living between hope and fear) · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first I rated this book four stars - but it's a few weeks since I've read it and I noticed that I could hardly remember all the ins and outs of the plot. So I ended up rating it three stars, which is to say I liked it but it didn't leave a lasting impression.

The plot is fairly straightforward: put an X number of people in a big old house and throw in a lot of booze - and a tropical storm raging outside.
Nobody will be unaffected by every secret that is unveiled during their stay so it is up to the reader to try and find out what is going to happen to whom.
It was a good idea to assemble a group of people who all knew each other beforehand so there was no need for lengthy explanations about the characters' thoughts but still there were enough surprises.

Thanks to Atria Books and Edelweiss for this review copy.

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Margot, her husband Ted, her brother Adam, his wife Aimee and four of their wealthy friends travel to Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat, they’re expecting rest, relation and for-some of them-to gain a better understanding of themselves and their futures.

But everyone has an agenda and Rini, the astrologer and host of their retreat has her own plans for the eight guests.

The Astrology House is a captivating mystery and thriller with a few unlikeable characters that did not detract from the overall story. Told from the point-of-view of different guests, as well as Rini, the reader is given an interesting glimpse into the histories and motivations of the characters. Though some of the guests are not shown as much focus and their contributions to the story are-for the most part-more minimal.

But the depiction of unhealthy codependence, unabashed selfishness, repressed secrets and unhinged behavior clearly illustrates how very toxic the guests can be, with one particular person who becomes only the second-worst person by the end of the novel.

Although I don’t know very much about astrology, I felt that its presentation within The Astrology house is well done. The “Astro Cheat Sheets” in the beginning of each chapter provide some insight into each character and the actual readings that Rini performs for the guests were unique and intriguing.

Close to the ending of the novel is where the story begins to feel more disjointed and also shifts from displaying uncomfortable and tawdry secrets to more sinister violations of a woman’s bodily autonomy. The conclusion moved very quickly and dramatically and one plot in particular felt unresolved.

Do humans possess free will or are our decisions determined by aspects surrounding our birth? The Astrology House provides an interesting question to consider. Thank you to Edelweiss and Atria Books for providing access to this ebook.

[Kurryreads (Kerry) · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up

Thoughts: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT2QJfSmM/

[T. · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing in this wasn’t very strong and I couldn’t tell any of the characters apart. I also couldn’t begin to care about these people.

[Samantha · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ve had it with domestic suspense novels that are solely focused on male characters horribly mistreating their spouses or partners and female characters horribly mistreating each other. I don’t understand the appeal of this kind of content, especially when the goal seems to be largely to ensure that every character is desperately miserable.

But the real problem with this book is that the solve is predicated on a type of fear mongering related to reproductive rights that is not just inappropriate in the current political climate, but dangerous. I cannot think of a worse way to give readers a salacious twist at the end of a novel. It isn’t exciting, it’s gross.

*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*

[AndiReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great new twist on the vacation-gone-wrong style thriller. Rini has taken the inherited decrepit mansion and reinvented a beautiful astrology-themed retreat. It's fun to hear the stories and read the horoscopes! When a group of adult friends and families descend on the house for the weekend we find out that all of them have secrets and that Rini has an agenda!

It wasn't perfect, but it sure was fun and kept me guessing and I truly loved the astrology and the mystery of it all. If you love a mystery, a thriller, a vacation-gone-wrong you CANNOT go wrong with The Astrology House! #atria #theastrologyhouse #carinnjade

[Jessica Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise for The Astrology House was so unique and promising. A group of Manhattanites escape to an astrology-themed retreat which leads to a shocking death...

Well, the "shocking" death occurs in one of the last chapters and it's not as shocking as you'd think.
The execution for this story was way off for me. This read as more of a behind the scenes of an astrology retreat (with some domestic drama) than a thriller. It took 80% of the book for it to get to any action. It's marketed as a "locked room thriller" but unfortunately it was not even close.

I give it an extra star for creativity (I've never read a thriller with astrology as a main theme) but unfortunately this was not what I was expecting.

[Wybredna Maruda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Czy naprawdę mamy wpływ na własne życie, czy może wszystko zostało już dawno zapisane w gwiazdach?

Nie jestem typową „zodiakarą” – nie znam się na ascendencie, kosmogramie ani retrogradacji Merkurego. A jednak fascynuje mnie myśl, że dzień naszych narodzin może wpływać na cechy charakteru i osobowość. I choć wiem, że nie ma tu żadnych absolutnych prawd, to jeśli przeczytacie opis Koziorożca – zobaczycie mnie. W stu procentach. Serio.

Temat przeznaczenia, przypadku i wpływu wolnej woli przewija się również w książce Dom Astrologiczny autorstwa Carinn Jade. Jej bohaterowie trafiają na weekend do niezwykłego hotelu, gdzie mają wziąć udział w sesjach astrologicznych prowadzonych przez tajemniczą wróżkę. Młoda kobieta ma pomóc im spojrzeć w przyszłość, zrozumieć siebie nawzajem i zacieśnić relacje. Tyle że właścicielka hotelu – dostosowująca nawet wystrój pokoi i menu do znaków zodiaku swoich gości – od początku wydaje się... dziwna. Czy faktycznie odczytuje znaki z gwiazd? A może sama manipuluje sytuacją, celowo siejąc niepokój? I dlaczego to właśnie ci ludzie zostali zaproszeni na ten specyficzny weekend?

Choć Dom Astrologiczny promowany jest jako thriller, dla mnie to raczej duszna, niepokojąca powieść obyczajowa z mrocznym twistem – balansująca na granicy thrillera psychologicznego i literatury pięknej. Napięcie nie wynika tu z pościgów ani przem0cy, lecz z rozmów między bohaterami, z ujawnianych stopniowo tajemnic, które przez lata skrywali – zarówno przed bliskimi, jak i przed sobą samymi. Zamiast szokującego wydarzenia, zaskakują słowa, które w końcu padają.

Poleciłabym tę książkę fanom Białego Lotosu, Małych kłamstewek, Idealnej pary, Influencerki, Muchomorów w cukrze czy Nocnych godzin. Ale ostrzegam – zawiera sporo triggerów: przem0c, m0rderstwo, zdrady, gw4łt, ab0rcja i inne trudne tematy. Jeśli jednak nie boicie się książek, które drążą głębiej i zostają z Wami na dłużej – warto dać jej szansę.

[Jessica Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Astrology House is full of characters and astrology readings. It is not full of the suspense I was ultimately looking for. The story and the writing kept me engaged because of all the character POVs, but I felt like I was waiting so long for something to happen. I definitely was not expecting that twist moment which I did enjoy! I thought the writing was good and easy to follow, especially with a handful of characters.

Thank you Atria for my ARC!

[kalgi ☾⋆*･ﾟ (hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, it was good and started great. It kept me on the edge till the end. But the end was very very bland for me. And that spoiled the whole book by one less star.

It felt like a waste of time after that ending. But for the overall mood, the 3-stars rating

[Mal · Rating 2 out of 5]

“[aimee] was beautiful and she knew it. half the guys in the room swarmed to her like flies to a rotting banana, but I stayed put, playing it cool.”

nothing I wrote in this long-ass review is gonna be as funny as this character comparing his now wife’s charm to that of a rotting banana, but I promise I did my best.

before I dive into the details, though, I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone who stumbled upon this review to click on this link, which leads to an article about how 152 professional astrologers willingly participated in a study that asked them to match people to their natal charts and how accurate their assessments were. (spoiler alert: about as accurate as random guessing.) (also, the consistency of the group’s answers was below 30%, meaning that in their interpretations of the charts, they only agreed with each other in one in three cases at best.)

okay, so did I pick this book up specifically to be a hater about astrology? well, yes, but I feel vindicated in that after finishing it, I genuinely think that the astrology house is simply Not Very Good. the writing is average at best and simplistic at worst; there wasn’t a single ‘plot twist’ that I didn’t see coming from at least 20 pages away, leading to exactly ZERO real suspense (despite the author’s, I assume, best but unfortunately very clunky efforts), and the ending was so wild that it smoothly crossed the line from ‘a mid, predictable thriller’ to ‘this is fucking hilarious’. in fact, somewhere around page 200 of the ebook, I decided that this book was a comedy, and it was WAY more entertaining after that.

first, the writing style. often, maintaining a consistent voice throughout the book is a plus, but, gods damn it, not when you’re writing chapters from multiple people’s povs in first person. honestly, I don’t mind first person narration; I would actually admire an author who managed to give their characters distinct (and distinctly written) voices in such a setup. carinn jade is not that author. every chapter is written in the exact same manner, which would have at least had a chance to be a teensy bit less jarring if done in third person, but, well. choices were made.

behold one of my favorite quotes from this book:

bill had eaten his lobster special with gusto. kathy found it both disgusting and endearing. there was enviable joy in the way he devoured that cockroach of the sea.

reader, I CACKLED. someone could say that I’m being unfair using the above as an example because it’s technically an excerpt from a ‘story’ written by one of the characters – who is, well, I can’t remember, but certainly not a professional writer – but trust me when I say that it really isn’t different from the overall writing style of the astrology house. yes, it’s all this bad.

also, the author occasionally name-drops apparel brands, for example, the prologue mentions “a size seven golden goose sneaker”. I’ve never heard about any of those brands, but a friend informed me that golden goose is an mlm, so I suspect that the other ones are too but I’m too lazy to fact check. anyway, I’m just mentioning it because I think there’s something so very funny about the idea that these supposedly super rich people’s closets are full of shitty mlm clothes.

there will be unmarked spoilers as I tear into the ‘plot’ below, so read at your own risk. honestly though it’s fucking bonkers.

the premise of the astrology house is that a bunch of rich people (one of whom is a mommy influencer and the other a “celebrity dietician” – neither of those jobs is actually relevant and the latter seems to be forgotten after about 50 pages, I just wanted to bring it up), all of them married couples, arrive at the titular astrology house (it has a proper name, but my ereader is too far away, and frankly, I don’t care) for a weekend retreat ran by an instragram-famous astrologer, rini. gods know why because not a single one of them seems to actually believe in it, maybe with the exception of margot, who at this point will believe in anything as long as it confirms that she’s gonna get pregnant, like, now. she was the one who organized the whole trip and convinced the others to come. I’m also going to assume that she was the primary target of rini’s “targeted email blasts and instagram ads” (sic), which we’re told were crucial in realizing rini’s (dun dun dunnn) plan to make these exact people book a weekend at her place. I’ll take a wild guess that either the author has no idea how targeted advertising works, or I don’t, because I honestly would’ve found it more believable if rini had gone the good old cartoon villainy route of sending margot and her friends those fake ‘congrats! you won a weekend at my astrology retreat!’ flyers that characters conveniently believe are real even though they didn’t actually participate in any contests that would yield such results.

whatever. margot books the weekend, drags her friends with her, they all compliment the super nice victorian house that rini and her sister had inherited a few years prior (and which they had very thoroughly renovated themselves with the help of youtube tutorials and one [1] contractor. yes.), and it all… uh… begins?

the first two parts, which cover friday and saturday, focus on character dynamics, the astrology-related activities, and rini’s scheming, with a small caveat that the last one is largely assumed, because rini doesn’t really strike me as an evil mastermind and she thinks badly of the entire ensemble, even though only one of them is her actual target. but it’s the last part, focused on sunday, when the comedy really kicks in.

all of the guests are stupid, rich, and spoiled. we get the povs of four of them, which means that the others are mainly cardboard cutouts moving through the book’s landscape when the author remembers that they exist. highlights of the ‘friday’ and ‘saturday’ part include, but are not limited to:
✗ on her way to the retreat with her bestie, the mommy influencer stops at some random spot, which is apparently perfect for taking a few pictures for her instragram’s ‘scheduled content’. in some of those pictures, she includes some totally random ass child (thankfully no face) because the kid looks like one of her daughters from behind. no one seems to find it weird.
✗ we learn that “the rise in c-sections will have a lasting impact on society”, because the procedures are scheduled almost exclusively during daylight hours, and since the sun, which represents fathers, “is the primary source of consciousness” for those born during the day…

”the result will be a generation for whom fathers will play an increased role (...). their absence will be more heavily felt by their children, or on the positive side, their contribution will have a more beneficial impact.”

✗ girl, idk. I genuinely can’t tell if the author included that because that’s what astrology people think or because she was trying to make rini sound unhinged.
✗ one of the characters is experiencing an Enormous Difficulty and that difficulty is admitting out loud that she suspects that her eight year old son may have adhd. truly the drama of the century.
✗ okay, I lied. another part of the Enormous Difficulty is that she’s falling in love (or at least in lust) with her bestie. queer rep!!! don’t worry, it goes nowhere.
✗ according to the same character, who is an ob-gyn, by the way, the more pregnancies you have, the more your body gets used to it, until you need only to think about sperm connecting with your egg and bam! you’re pregnant again. that’s arguable at best.
✗ and speaking of making false claims, did you know that people are polyamorous because their parents loved them too much, and that’s why having only one partner doesn’t satisfy them? but fear not, as soon as they find THE one person who will really, really, really love them, they’ll want to be monogamous, just as god intended.
✗ also, the poly woman is, of course, a child-free feminist who gets triggered by anyone saying anything good about children. if she didn’t have to double as someone’s mistress, I bet she would’ve had blue hair and a nose ring.

y’all, this is already way too long, so I’ll be a bit more concise about the events of the third part. this is also where the Real Spoilers happen, you’ve been warned.

by sunday, rini’s carefully crafted plans to make one of the men confess to having grievously wronged her sister kind of fail. yeah, I can’t believe how she didn’t manage to make him bring up the Terrible, Terrible Crime he’d committed ten years earlier with two days of generic ‘heal your mind’ woo-woo either. or can I? we don’t know until the Big Reveal what exactly the crime was, because rini doesn’t either – she just knows that one of the man had hurt her sister andi very, very much, and…

if you spent the whole book thinking that rini was going to expose the guy and then murder him in front of his wife and friends, congrats, you’re wrong. if you, however, assumed that her plan was to make him sincerely apologize for his wrongdoings so that her sister, WHO IS VERY MUCH ALIVE AND JUST SPENT THE LAST TEN YEARS LIVING IN THE WALLS OF RINI’S HOUSE, would be cured of her mental health issues by the magical power of apologies… then I worry about you, but hey, at least you were right.

yep, you read that right. andi’s not dead, she’s just severely agoraphobic – at least according to rini, personally I’m not sure if agoraphobia alone would be enough to make you live inside someone’s walls for a decade. Y’ALL. SHE LIVED. INSIDE THE WALLS. I’m not gonna be over this for months.

also, she emerges FROM THE WALLS looking “like a mirage”. she’s “stunning”. her skin is “like porcelain, milky white, as if it hasn’t seen the sun in a decade” (you don’t say). unrealistic beauty standards for women strike again…

anyway, the man who hurt andi dies, the man who we were led to believe hurt andi gets… sort of what he deserved too, andi returns to the society (yeah, don’t ask me), and rini gets her happily ever after with a dude who totally didn’t think it was a red flag that she broke up with him six months earlier because a prophet told her she was going to die on a specific day that year. then again, that same dude single-handedly built accommodations for andi to live in the walls, so who knows, they might have actually been made for each other. the end.

BONUS:

the living room is as scattered and confused as I am. aimee stands there dopily looking up at her cheating husband, unsure what to say or do with his second marriage proposal. pages of adam’s novels trail like tears from the library. joe and farah look sad, like they’re at a wedding thinking they’ll be alone forever, while previously poly eden and rick look like blissful witnesses to the potential joy of monogamy. what is happening?

yes, there’s a scene in which rini announces why she’d gathered them all there and exposes one of the men for having had an affair with her sister… to which the man’s response is to say, ah, well, that was ages ago, btw, wife-on-whom-I-totally-didn’t-cheat-again, how do you feel about renewing our vows?

like, imagine having your Big Moment when you get to tell people about your revenge plot, only to get IMMEDIATELY upstaged by some cheating, egotistic asshole like you aren’t even there. that was comedy gold fr.

***

23/09/24
rating subject to change because I really can't make up my mind. the literary value of this book is like 1.25/5 but the entertainment value? a solid 3. maybe even 3.5. it's better once you read it as a comedy. more thoughts to come when it's not 9 pm

[Odcienie czytelnictwa · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 ✨ Książka jest naprawdę ciekawa! Dlatego żałuję, że jej powolne tempo może zrazić do siebie czytelników, którzy sięgną po ten tytuł 😔

[Steven · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for the pre-release copy. Below is my honest review.

This was a fun twisty little thriller, set in the coastal B&B known as Stars Harbor Astrological Retreat, where astrologer Rini hosts groups looking to find the star-sun-moon-and-planet connections to their lives. Of course, this group has some secrets, and they're all trying to keep them hidden.

Did I enjoy this one? Absolutely. Was it anything ground-breaking? Not particularly. The big twists were pretty easy to guess ahead of time, and overall, it was just very predictable.

It was an entertaining read, but I wouldn't go out of my way to recommend it. Three stars.

[Kels (bookishlifeofkels) · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 33% - I unfortunately found it very hard to keep the characters straight which made for a difficult read.

[r.j. · Rating 1 out of 5]

wow this book was so poorly written on every level it's almost impressive

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

I’m a little backlogged with my ARC’s but working diligently to get caught up. I really enjoyed the unique premise of this book! I’ve read a lot so it’s nice to get something with a different spin on the weekend retreat with friends/family. I’ve always been interested in astrology so I thought that was a great touch as well and made the story more complex. I definitely didn’t see the twist coming and I can usually predict it! I would highly recommend if you like thrillers and mysteries!

[Heather | Heather's Book Shelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found The Astrology House to be a bingeable thriller that truly immerses readers in a web of suspense and intrigue, all set against the backdrop of a weekend away filled with secrets and lies. Carinn Jade excels at crafting multidimensional characters whose personal struggles and motivations drive the narrative forward. As secrets unravel and tensions rise, I appreciated how each character’s unique desires, fears, and backgrounds added depth to the story, making their uncertain fates all the more suspenseful.
The interactions among the characters are charged with emotional weight and tackle difficult topics, which elevated the stakes and kept me fully engaged. While the pacing occasionally dipped - not surprising for a character-driven thriller - at just 307 pages, I found myself easily turning the pages to see what would happen next.
This book may not satisfy thriller fans craving nonstop action, but if you’re looking for an easy, bingeable, and lighter thriller read, I definitely recommend picking this one up.