✰ 3 stars ✰
“We fulfilled the trope, in its most basic terms: we started out enemies and became lovers. We gave the speeches that characters deliver in all my romance novels. The declarations of love.
Period, underlined, THE END in big bold letters.
What comes after that?”
Past Present Future picks up three months after the day that forever changed Rowan and Neil's lives - a day so magical that it seems impossible to believe that their chemistry afterwards could carry the same effortless synchronization and sparks that flowed between them that special day. And with the daunting presence of having to navigate waters of a long-distance relationship while heading off to different colleges, it's not so much a challenge, but a welcome one - one that they are determined to prove that the two of them have what it takes to make it work out between the two. 'I want that. To change with you sounds like the biggest fucking honor.' It's not the distance that will make the heart grow fonder, but the belief that if they'd made it this far as enemies before, and friends at a pivotal moment during, doesn't it mean that they can still be lovers, now? 😟
“Taking care of each other when we’re sick, listening to each other through the easy parts and the hard parts, and everything in between.
The romantic part isn’t just falling in love, I know that now—it’s staying in love, too.”
It does read like a much more depressing if not heavy read, one which sheds light on the difficulties of not only the freshman college experience, but how hard it is to sustain a well-maintained healthy romance with one not in the same vicinity as you. It may not have had the same nostalgic feel to it that made their previous interaction such a fun and light one, but it is still a solid look at the two sides of a long distance relationship - the challenges that come with it - the daunting pressure of trying to find that same charm and attraction over the air waves and the mileage that divides them, as well as the different social circles and curriculum that prevent them from sharing in personal experiences. 🥺🥺 Not to mention their own personal inner struggles that start to take a mental toll on them that makes it even more difficult to relate to each other on a more intimate level. 'We’re good together, and I’d be an idiot to give that up just because we don’t live in the same city.' I enjoyed the supporting cast as they offered their own unique take on what college life is like in the first year; not that I have my own experience to relate to, it captured the vibes of finding one's niche, the hesitancy over whether or not one's studies is the right one to pursue, making friends that could be your future wolf pack. 🫂🫂 And as we alternate between the two of their points of views, we get to see the lengths of affections they have for each other, as well as all the burdens they've been carrying that is preventing them from connecting on a deeper level.
“Maybe we won’t change at the same time—we probably won’t. But we can change together. We just have to give the other person space to do it.
Not to become a completely different person . . . but to grow.”
Including Neil's perspective was a welcome touch as we get to learn his own take on significant moments of their dynamic - the ones that stood out to mean so much to both of them. His adoration for Rowan - his Artoo - never wavered - even when he felt at a point that maybe he was the one holding her back. We also get to see a little bit more insight into his own personal life - a painful part of his past that seems to be having a hold over his own mental health. 😥 It was hard seeing him doubt his own capabilities, but honestly, it also felt very realistic at how his own views of his interests could change and the fear that came with it. His own family plays a larger part in this one, where one key moment was so heartbreaking to read - heartbreaking at how much it deeply affit was hard and I really felt for him there. 'I close my textbook, wondering how it’s possible to be trapped between a desire for understanding and the simple wish for all of it to go away.' 🥺 Rowan was her usual self - or was she? Not so confident about her own writing capabilities, feeling inferior to others' talents, indifferent to her own capabilities - everything was handled in a very honest and believable fashion - one that could happen to any one person that made it relatable for me to appreciate. Add to the crushing realization that she may have been unaware of Neil's own personal issues, I liked the growth that she showed when she embraced her own fears and worked on improving them. Making a change that would benefit not only her future, but her future with Neil, as well. 😟
And they were good together - very wholesome, very affectionate, very giving, even when apart. I never doubted that they wouldn't find a way back to each other - never felt that their love ever wavered - never feared that they wouldn't hold it together. Despite the hurdles - despite that niggling doubt that maybe what they had was only a one time thing and they should have the chance to explore other possibilities - I liked that they never took their relationship for granted. 🤍🤍 They still had that sweetness to them - a cuteness that shined when they both knew just what to say at the right moment to make the other feel better. How they're the first persons they think of when wanting to share a special moment with - be it writing or a humorous take or simply just seeking out each other's comfort. 'There is something about this boy that undoes me every single time, and sometimes I still can’t believe all of it is real.' 🥹 That trust and connection that bound them together even when apart. That they never felt that being together was what would prevent them from living the full college life. And that was an important inclusion that played out well; Rowan standing up to her mother, Neil staying true to his commitment. It was a loyalty pact that proved just how special they were to each other that made me believe that no matter how hard it may be now, they would somehow make it work.
“Forelsket (Norwegian): the euphoria you experience as you begin to fall in love; or, how I feel whenever I’m around you.”
I think for me what stood out the most was how RLS showed that even though they're fighting to keep the magic alive that brought them together - it doesn't necessarily mean that they'll never be able to have it again. Getting this more mature and honest look into their relationship was a very positive one; it still stays very borderline-YA, but there is a more direct discussion to their sexual activities that makes it feel a lot more believable and relatable to those who may be in these similar situations. 'I don’t overthink—I just let myself feel. In my imagination, we can be both filthy and sweet. Depraved and wholesome. I want her in every possible way.' 😊 Perhaps it had to do with Rowan's love for romance novels that made her so candid in the discussions, but it was also nice to see how Neil was even willing to be more openly direct about it. As much as it was embarrassing to talk about it, I appreciated how it played into the narrative, as not a forced inclusion, but one that felt necessary for both of them to be able to please and enjoy each other's company without being overwhelmed by expectations - wanting to make it as pleasurable and satisfying as the heated sparks of their first time together. 🥲
When all is said and done, despite the inherent fear of not being able to work it out, despite the lingering doubt that what they shared may have just been a fluke, rather than years of pining and yearning, seeing Rowan and Neil finally reach that moment of closure and acceptance and understanding. 🥰 A point where they were both inwardly happy and satisfied at the stage of their relationship was the gratification that made me believe that the angst and rough waters they had to wade through was worth it. 'But tonight, they have this: the future they fought for and the promise they continue to make every single day.' The epilogue was a positive and hopeful look at showing that even though the journey may have been a rocky one at the start, it didn't mean they didn't have what it took to make it to safe shores. And their final moment proved that they had survived the test of time to make it in time for a future that was entirely theirs for the keeping. 🩵🩵