The Five Flirting Styles: Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really Want

by Jeffrey A. Hall

Flirt Smarter. Date Better. Love Happily Ever After. 

Do you always attract the wrong type? Have a hard time making relationships last? Or get stuck being friends instead of lovers? 

There's no one right way to flirt, but how you flirt says a lot about your chance at love. Dr. Jeffrey Hall's groundbreaking survey, the Flirting Styles Inventory, caused a media sensation when it pinpointed five different flirting styles. First sampled exclusively with eHarmony members, it has since helped tens of thousands of people discover their flirting style and provided a wealth of information on how your style affects your love life. 

Based on Dr. Hall's cutting-edge research, The Five Flirting Styles shows you how to identify your natural flirting style—physical, playful, sincere, traditional or polite—and use it to flirt smarter and attract the love you really want. Discover: 

• Where to look for love based on your style 

• How to tell if someone is interested and avoid missed opportunities 

• How to tell if someone wants a serious relationship or a quick fling 

• If you're sending all the wrong signals—and what to do instead

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Self Help, Sexuality, American

305 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Dina Guardado · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book.

I did the flirting styles test online and these are my results:
9-100% physical
10-20% traditional
0-10% polite LOL!
90-100% sincere
90-100% Playful : )

[Sherry Beth Preston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was reading along and thought, "oh, there's my ex." Next chapter, "JT!,"then "Harry!" then "Wade!" It all fell into place. Maybe I will have better luck now...

[Kristin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a mix of the traditional, boring american dating/flirting books with lots of old fashioned “rules” and a more progressive and moderne way to present different languages of flirt. I’ve never read a book where different types were presented in such a pedagogical and interesting way before, and that’s a bonus. I think I would have gotten the message in 50 pages, so it was a bit boring and self repetitive at times…but, it was absolutely readable.

[Shahidah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Would I recommend this book? Not really. Did I learn anything from it? Sorta.

Maybe I just didn't like the style of the book- sometimes it felt a bit boastful, and it wasn't clear what sort of tone this book was taking. There were some useful advice and sound ideas, but I wouldn't take everything I read as gospel. The online test was interesting to take.

[Eugenie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty interesting insight my first exposure to these types of analytical breakdown for humans’ romantic pursuits..

You are sure to be more aware of people's actions falling into one of or a combination of the flirting styles after finishing this book..

Definitely helped me to get a framework in my mind to categorize all my interactions with different people..

[Kes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting book about flirting styles - that is, how people flirt. I liked that the author accounted for those who moved slowly (the polite and traditional flirts) and for the purpose behind the flirtations (e.g. playful flirts did it for the attention).

Not a very practical guide to flirting, but an interesting book about learning about yourself and others.

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent starting point for persons trying to understand how flirting works. Doesn't go into complete details but taught me a lot about how various styles of flirters interact with one another. Definitely better as a physical book than an audio.

[Paul Sizemore · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read that helps put a framework around the types of flirting and how to turn it on or off.

[Mike Njamba · Rating 5 out of 5]

For my best friend

[Sophia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Look, you can't take this book too seriously. But. That being said. It does provide some food for thought and an interesting framework for looking at male/female interactions.

[Mia Naccarato · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't fully finish it, but gained some insight on different flirting styles and which styles work well together!

[Matt Nunez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty helpful and insightful - sort of a Meyers-Briggs assessment of how we find love. At times, it felt shallow and self-congratulatory.

[Christopher Llewellyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent guide to various flirting styles (identifying them, identifying your own, identifying those of others) and how to work with them to your advantage to get the type of relationship you want to have.

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

To start off, my children found it interesting that I was reading a book about flirting. Funny part of it all, was that they are young and really don't know what flirting is. However, I was expecting to read a book about the styles of flirting, but it appeared more to be about personality types. Either way, I did gain the information that the author was intending the reader to take from the book. The flirting types are fairly well defined and I like the reference to the online survey where you can answer a few question and have your flirting style determined. The survey fit me perfectly and the break down of the styles was very easy to see and relate to. However, I felt there was more focus on the playful and physical styles of flirting more than the low-key styles of flirting. I had felt that there was more focus on the bar/club scene rather than other locations for flirting. It would have been interesting to learn more about the more low-key styles of flirting and the locations of where they find a partner. I felt that the book was very well written from a research point of view and it was laid out in a manner that reflected the research findings and was rather easy to follow. I gained a more abstract view of the various personality types and in a way, I would be interested in reading more if the research were continued.

[Sara Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical of this one. But since I have always felt that I was not so good at flirting, I figured I'd give this a read.

What I found was that Hall's research makes sense, and it actually makes me feel much better about my own style, and better able to understand others. My only beef with it is that the test seems to be weighted to a few specific questions that don't have a full grasp on the "whys" behind the answer, which can skew the test portion. I found that by reading the explanations and examples of each style I was better able to pinpoint my personal style. (The biggest example, I said that the guy should make the first move, so it put me solid in Traditional, however, my reasons for believing that are vastly different than the average "traditional" flirt, and my style is almost totally a blend of sincere and polite, and in fact, a vast majority of the traditional style bothers me.)

For those people who are frustrated that they don't know how to flirt, that they aren't getting the results that they want, and who just want to understand what drives people, this is a great book. The examples do feel a little contrived, but hey, it's about flirting, so...

(this one was a solid 3.5, but Goodreads will only allow full stars, silly Goodreads.)

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that could have said what it wanted to say in half the pages. There are 5 flirting styles. The names are very fitting, because you can guess what the essentials are based on that. To be nice to the book, I won't list what the 5 styles are, although if you google the author I'm sure you'd be able to find his quiz online and learn them that way.

I'll absolutely give due credit. Everyone has certain styles and they're generally attracted to certain styles. I knew what kind of flirting style I had already; I'm fairly self-aware about that kind of thing. The self-help book just helped to solidify what I had already guessed about myself.

However, I do feel as if it's almost stereotyping. I find it kind of easy to switch my flirting style, and while I do realize they're only examples, the examples felt very fake. Just because someone is Polite doesn't mean they can't have a good time at a bar. Just because someone is Playful doesn't mean they can't find someone at church. I do know that this probably isn't as common though. The advice given within the pages was good, and seemed accurate. It did have good descriptions of each style, and portrayed itself well enough.

(I received this in a First Reads giveaway.)

[Cyndi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book in Goodreads First Reads.

I wrote a lot of research papers in college and I found this book making a few assumptions that I don't think its research allowed. Its research came from online dating surveys, and yet most of the flirting examples used were in club scenes. Because this novel's research is centered on online dating, I would have liked to see examples based on online communication rather than club scenes.

It was interesting to look at the different flirting styles, yet (being Traditional flirt according to this book) I was not happy that it focused so much on the club scenes and hooking up. Personally, I don't feel that this novel helped me with flirting since I don't go to clubs. It did provide some insight on what others are looking for in relationships, though.

Overall, a fairly dull read. It could have been about half the length and still contained the same amount of information.

[Al · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an extremely interesting insight into the five different ways people flirt. I found it to be fairly accurate. I think the author took a few liberties with some of the conclusions though. I'm not sure that you can always tell a person's personality from their flirting style. My flirting style and personality don't seem to add up (my top style is traditional). I actually think my flirting style has a lot to do with the environment I was raised in. But back to the book. I found the chapter about "the switch" slightly confusing. Also, the author seemed to make fun of one of the flirting styles, and he seemed in favor of another. I think that there is a lot more research to be done in this area, especially concerning the relationship between one's personality and flirting style. Overall, it was a very intriguing read.

[Brynna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Five Flirting styles was really interesting! I had never really thought too much about this stuff before, just thought the book might be a fun read, but it not only turned out to be entertaining but also informative, and very easy to understand. I'd definitely recommend for anyone who's intrigued by it. If you know what you're doing int he flirting world, it could be a fun read for you to figure out some of the stuff behind your techniques or if you're not, it can certainly help you too!

[Wei · Rating 1 out of 5]

While this has some interesting points to make about how people flirt, I think it is very presumptuous in making assumptions about the role flirting plays in a person's overall life, or about further aspects of personality based just on the flirting style. All in all, I found this book very frustrating.

[Ajean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually had a lot of fun with this book. We read it during a girls night and tried the quiz. It is a bit longer than it should be, but it was interesting. I think it's a great book for a get together and can spark some good discussion and debate.

[Terrill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful for the dating person. It basically describes different personality styles - their strengths and weakness in regards to flirting. There's advice on how to be an effective flirt to find the relationship you want.

[Harlequin Books]

Category: Relationships

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting ideas. Too optimistic from my bitter, jaded viewpoint. :)

[Steven · Rating 2 out of 5]

Far less interesting than the title suggests.

[Beatrice Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alright, interesting read, quick, but it only reminded me that I'll probably die alone.