I saw this at a used bookshop, and picked it up for about three bucks, expecting an ironic good time--I mean, just look at that cover! It's practically an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in book form. Sadly, the actual contents don't deliver on that. What we get instead is an ugly mashup of Mage: The Ascension and a mainline Shin Megami Tensei game, seen through the lens of self-awareness that isn't nearly as clever as the author thinks it is. Case in point: that cover? I think it shows up in the book itself.
"There was a paperback on the floor, something with a neologism for a title and a sword-wielding Amazon in a fur bikini on its gaudy cover. I picked it up and began to read. It was awful. Regarding the prose, "purple" was not quite le mot juste. I think the actual color shaded into the ultraviolet, and the dialogue was as pulpy as the cheap stock it was printed on."
That's this book, except the bikini-clad woman on the front doesn't have a sword. And DeChancie's prose is just as purple as what he's deriding. Protip: Just because you acknowledge a flaw with a wink and a nod doesn't mean that flaw doesn't exist.
MagicNet follows Skye King, an English professor who's supposed to be 36, but comes across like he's 63, as he gets caught up in a supernatural web of intrigue whose rules change whenever it's convenient to the "plot." His friend gets killed by a demon, but not before sending Skye a package containing a floppy disk that summons his ghost. So far, this is the sort of cheese I'd signed up for, but it quickly goes moldy.
Skye is a pretentious blowhard, with an astonishing dose of chauvinism thrown in for good measure. When he's not exhausting his thesaurus with endless mental monologues, he's wondering at length about such scholarly subjects as whether or not lesbians really like other women, or whether they just pretend to, to have influence over men. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
His friend, Grant, is a ghost in a laptop, who can talk to Skye through a "voice module" (except when he arbitrarily doesn't need it anymore). And yet nobody ever seems to bat an eyelash at a guy arguing with his portable computer in 1993.
Jill is a lesbian witch who Skye finds himself pining over with increasing frequency. As of the halfway point in the book, where I stopped reading, I never saw her do anything aside from being the object of Skye's creepy observations. Also, she's best friends with Harlan Ellison. You know, the real-life author, who's actually talented. That was the proverbial last straw for me. Referencing other, better works in your crappy work is always a bad sign (DeChancie also directly rips off a Twilight Zone episode at one point), but this is borderline self-insertion fan fiction.
I'd expected MagicNet to be a silly, overblown romp, full of outdated computers doing things that computers from three decades ago patently couldn't do--I was expecting it to be fun. Instead, it saddles us with the worst, least-relatable and likable narrator I've seen in ages, takes itself way too seriously, and yet paradoxically doesn't even set rules for its own universe. There's nothing enjoyable here, even in an ironic sense.