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Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
Join New York Times bestselling author Shauna Niequist as she invites you to experience the precious gifts and wisdom that only come the hard way--through change, loss, and transition.
In this collection of poignant essays, Shauna reflects on her own journey of making peace with change, the nuanced mix of excitement and heartbreak that comes with it, and the practices that offer us strength and hope along the way.
When life comes at us in waves, our first instinct is to dig in our heels and control what we can. A keen observer of life with a lyrical voice, Shauna offers another way--the way of letting the waves carry us into a deeper awareness of God's presence in our lives, even in the midst of turmoil.
Drawing from her own experiences in a season of pain and chaos, Shauna shares her deeply personal struggles
Difficult movesCareer changesMarital stressFinancial worriesLife-altering lossWith honesty and hope, Shauna beautifully unwraps the complicated truth that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness even on the darkest of nights, and that rejoicing is no less meaningful when it contains a splinter of sadness. A tribute to life at the edges, Bittersweet is a love letter to the bittersweet and sacred work that change does in us all.
Praise for
"Bittersweet is so delicious I wanted to douse it in butter and syrup and eat the whole thing. I fell into a deep and genuine depression when I read the last word and there were no more. Be kind and please treat yourself to this book. It is lovely and hilarious and poignant in all the best ways that make me so deliriously happy as a reader." --Jen Hatmaker, speaker and bestselling author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire and For the Love
In this collection of poignant essays, Shauna reflects on her own journey of making peace with change, the nuanced mix of excitement and heartbreak that comes with it, and the practices that offer us strength and hope along the way.
When life comes at us in waves, our first instinct is to dig in our heels and control what we can. A keen observer of life with a lyrical voice, Shauna offers another way--the way of letting the waves carry us into a deeper awareness of God's presence in our lives, even in the midst of turmoil.
Drawing from her own experiences in a season of pain and chaos, Shauna shares her deeply personal struggles
Difficult movesCareer changesMarital stressFinancial worriesLife-altering lossWith honesty and hope, Shauna beautifully unwraps the complicated truth that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness even on the darkest of nights, and that rejoicing is no less meaningful when it contains a splinter of sadness. A tribute to life at the edges, Bittersweet is a love letter to the bittersweet and sacred work that change does in us all.
Praise for
"Bittersweet is so delicious I wanted to douse it in butter and syrup and eat the whole thing. I fell into a deep and genuine depression when I read the last word and there were no more. Be kind and please treat yourself to this book. It is lovely and hilarious and poignant in all the best ways that make me so deliriously happy as a reader." --Jen Hatmaker, speaker and bestselling author of Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire and For the Love
252 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 14, 2010
486 people are currently reading
9732 people want to read
About the author
Shauna Niequist
36 books2,659 followersShauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron Niequist, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek Community Church and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 711 reviews
May 4, 2017
5 stars! Shauna Niequist is a woman I wish I could be friends with! I loved her previous book "Cold Tangerines" as well as this one! She has such a powerful message to send, yet does it in such a simple, relatable way. Reading some chapters I laughed out loud and reading others I cried until I could barely see - sometimes I did both on the same page. So many of her chapters resonate so deeply with me - her views on parenting, marriage, spirituality, friendships, etc. - I can completely relate to what she writes on so many levels. A very uplifting and inspirational journey! Can't say enough fantastic things about Shauna's writing. I can't wait to read her other books!
August 7, 2014
I really wanted to enjoy this book as I had with her previous one - Cold Tangerines. But if I have to hear the word "season" one more time, or hear the rundown of exactly what they ate, or skim through an inane amount of adjectives just to get to the point, I'm going to scream. I felt that even though the author was mostly open and honest, it was more like being included in the popular girls conversation about how important everything about her life is but guess what, you only get the fabulous descriptions and none of the background details that make the story understandable and relatable. There were a lot of times she hit the nail on the head for me but I feel they were cancelled out by what I've already stated. I know a lot of readers found this wonderful - and I'm glad they did - but I just found it frustrating.
June 4, 2011
Coming off a dense book on writing, Shauna's latest collection of stories, "Bittersweet" was like curling up on the couch with a blanket and a big 'ol bowl of comfort food — the literary equivalent to mac-n-cheese.
There are some folks who may read her writing and shrug it off as too folksy or too preachy. I feel sorry for them. Because I think Shauna has a remarkable ability to write poetically about the everyday moments we all experience but never take time to think about, let alone cherish.
In "Bittersweet," Shauna writes extensively about her experience miscarrying her second child. I felt so sorry for her reading her words about the loss. And again, because of Shauna's approachability, she seems less the person sharing these words through a novel and more one recounting what happened over cups of tea in her living room. Someone you want to reach out to, give a hug, and tell her everything will work out because it's life and, well, it always does. (This ability of hers to be so transparent is probably why people seem to flock to her as girlfriends — of which, as you read, she has many).
A number of essays in this title (there's something like, 40 in all), really REALLY resonated with me. I'm borrowing a friend's copy of the book and since she underlined many of the same passages I would have, I know they resonated with her as well. Shauna's books are ones I really should just buy copies of seeing as how — though I rarely re-read anything — so many of her essays I could come back to again and again.
Here were a few snippets I loved from a book FULL of thoughts worth quoting:
• From "Things I Don't Do": In which Shauna writes about how she's learning that while she wants to do everything in life and DO EVERYTHING BETTER, life is about figuring out those things you're willing to give up so as to focus on the things you really care about (among her things she doesn't do were things I, also, don't do: gardening, major home improvements, making her bed in the morning, baking -- I loved the "This is me, take it or leave it" attitude she conveyed with this lesson)
• From "Alameda": Share your life with the people you love, even if it means saving up for a ticket and going without a few things for a while to make it work. There are enough long lonely days of the same old thing, and if you let enough years pass, and if you let the routine steamroll your life, you'll wake up one day, isolated and weary, and wonder what happened to all those old friends.
• From "Twenty-Five": For a while in my early 20s, I felt like I woke up a different person every day, and was constantly confused about which one, if any, was the real me. I feel more like myself with each passing year, for better and for worse, and you'll find that, too. Every year, you will trade a little of your perfect skin and your ability to look great without exercising for wisdom and peace and groundedness, and every year the trade will be worth it. I promise.
• From "Love Song for Fall": (for artists and writers and photographers and creatives): If you were made to create, you won't feel whole and healthy and alive until you do.....Do the work, learn the skills, and make art, because of what the act of creation will create in you.
Many more, but I'll let you read them instead.
There are some folks who may read her writing and shrug it off as too folksy or too preachy. I feel sorry for them. Because I think Shauna has a remarkable ability to write poetically about the everyday moments we all experience but never take time to think about, let alone cherish.
In "Bittersweet," Shauna writes extensively about her experience miscarrying her second child. I felt so sorry for her reading her words about the loss. And again, because of Shauna's approachability, she seems less the person sharing these words through a novel and more one recounting what happened over cups of tea in her living room. Someone you want to reach out to, give a hug, and tell her everything will work out because it's life and, well, it always does. (This ability of hers to be so transparent is probably why people seem to flock to her as girlfriends — of which, as you read, she has many).
A number of essays in this title (there's something like, 40 in all), really REALLY resonated with me. I'm borrowing a friend's copy of the book and since she underlined many of the same passages I would have, I know they resonated with her as well. Shauna's books are ones I really should just buy copies of seeing as how — though I rarely re-read anything — so many of her essays I could come back to again and again.
Here were a few snippets I loved from a book FULL of thoughts worth quoting:
• From "Things I Don't Do": In which Shauna writes about how she's learning that while she wants to do everything in life and DO EVERYTHING BETTER, life is about figuring out those things you're willing to give up so as to focus on the things you really care about (among her things she doesn't do were things I, also, don't do: gardening, major home improvements, making her bed in the morning, baking -- I loved the "This is me, take it or leave it" attitude she conveyed with this lesson)
• From "Alameda": Share your life with the people you love, even if it means saving up for a ticket and going without a few things for a while to make it work. There are enough long lonely days of the same old thing, and if you let enough years pass, and if you let the routine steamroll your life, you'll wake up one day, isolated and weary, and wonder what happened to all those old friends.
• From "Twenty-Five": For a while in my early 20s, I felt like I woke up a different person every day, and was constantly confused about which one, if any, was the real me. I feel more like myself with each passing year, for better and for worse, and you'll find that, too. Every year, you will trade a little of your perfect skin and your ability to look great without exercising for wisdom and peace and groundedness, and every year the trade will be worth it. I promise.
• From "Love Song for Fall": (for artists and writers and photographers and creatives): If you were made to create, you won't feel whole and healthy and alive until you do.....Do the work, learn the skills, and make art, because of what the act of creation will create in you.
Many more, but I'll let you read them instead.
January 5, 2011
This book may as well be a shout out to all of Shauna's friends and family. Most of the pages are filled with cliches about food and cooking clubs and her son... blah blah blah. She talks about churches and the Christian community but very little about God and faith. True, there are brief moments of spiritualness if you can sift through the lines upon lines of her "dear diary" whining and attempt to mention every person she's ever met by name. I don't mean to be insensitive, this woman clearly had a rough run for a while, but so has everyone. It seems to me that she had a deadline and strung together a bunch of blog entries in order to meet it. As a result, the intended audience for this book is extremely narrow.
January 1, 2011
I read Shauna's book "Cold Tangerines" a few years back and really enjoyed it. Her newest, "Bittersweet", did not disappoint--in fact, I really think I liked it better than "Cold Tangerines". Shauna's writing style is so fresh and honest, you feel like you are sitting and chatting with her on the couch. She talks about real life and real hurts and disappointments, but not in a "you should feel sorry for me" sort of way. She takes life struggles and gives them over to God, but that's not easy either, and, she doesn't pretend that it is. I like as well that she doesn't mind poking a little fun at herself--we need to laugh on our journey too. Almost every chapter deals with food in some way - Shauna seems to connect with her friends and family over meals shared. One idea I may steal from her deals with inviting a group of women for a shared meal - people that she isn't intimate with, but would like to get to know better. I love this idea, and, food is a great way to break the ice. Like "Cold Tangerines" this book is good for all ages - I lent "Cold Tangerines" to my 24 year old daughter in law, who lent it to her mother, who lent it to a friend - I think "Bittersweet" will end up making the rounds as well.
November 20, 2012
MY REVIEW:
"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." This is the focus of Bittersweet which is a collection of short essays. It's cover invites you to sit, read, and reflect on your life as Shauna shares from her life.
In full disclosure, I couldn't finish this book. For the most part I liked the essays I read, but it felt like I was reading blog post after blog post rather than reading a flowing book. Each chapter stands alone while still touting the book's title. If you enjoy reading short bits here and there, you probably would enjoy reading this book. I personally couldn't keep myself engaged in it long enough to finish it. Having not read it in it's entirety I can not say whether I endorse the content or not, but I will say that I appreciated the message Shauna shares in the chapters I did read.
"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." This is the focus of Bittersweet which is a collection of short essays. It's cover invites you to sit, read, and reflect on your life as Shauna shares from her life.
In full disclosure, I couldn't finish this book. For the most part I liked the essays I read, but it felt like I was reading blog post after blog post rather than reading a flowing book. Each chapter stands alone while still touting the book's title. If you enjoy reading short bits here and there, you probably would enjoy reading this book. I personally couldn't keep myself engaged in it long enough to finish it. Having not read it in it's entirety I can not say whether I endorse the content or not, but I will say that I appreciated the message Shauna shares in the chapters I did read.
December 21, 2013
I'm counting this one as read because I paid for it and I skimmed most of it after struggling through the first few essays.
I enjoyed Cold Tangerines more than I expected and as a result, have always thought I really enjoyed Shauna Niequist's writing. I don't know if I can say that anymore, and it's possible Cold Tangerines was, for me, the book that hit me in the right place at the right time. I still think her chapter on family vacations was lovely in that book.
This book never connected with me at all. It felt disjointed and vague, a series of blog entries without context, and without true connection either to the reader or to the author herself. It felt very much like a first draft, or a polite essay written for a school assignment. The author danced carefully around subjects that had great promise, areas where in my opinion she could have connected with something deep within her readers, but didn't bother. Instead, we got vagueness, polite comments likely intended to protect those involved, while at the same time an incomprehensible and never-explained list of her friends. Monica! Kirsten! Joe! I found myself flipping back through to try and remember who these people were, and how to place them in the story. I never found it. Without knowing their importance beyond their names and that they somehow are connected in this "house church", it's hard for me to then take sentences like, "Maybe you've found your own Monica or Kirsten." Maybe I have, but not knowing anything about them makes it difficult to decide if I have or not. A description of the friendship, rather than just a name, would be helpful. Describe the person or the relationship in a way that makes the reader care about him or her because they can see a reflection of someone in their own life, a reflection of QUALITY not quantity. For me, Monica is just a former boss and Kirsten is an American Girl doll. Giving these characters depth would have helped.
The other barrier for me with this book was it settled for preachy chapters and quick answers without even attempting to take the reader through the process. The author described her difficult year and life events in the beginning and basically blamed them all on her own selfishness. I have also lost a job at a church, in my case, a megachurch and a seriously emotionally and spiritually unhealthy job, and it was an event that I am still working through years later. I would change nothing, and ultimately it has been good, but it has taken a lot of pain to get here. I felt like the author didn't spend much time acknowledging or showing the actual grief of her losses (job, friends, move, miscarriage) in any way that made the reader understand the depth of that pain. Without understanding that, the conclusive answers and solutions fell short and felt shallow. It felt like the polite answer I give family friends when they ask how my year has been and it hasn't been good.
So disappointed here, because I had such high expectations.
I enjoyed Cold Tangerines more than I expected and as a result, have always thought I really enjoyed Shauna Niequist's writing. I don't know if I can say that anymore, and it's possible Cold Tangerines was, for me, the book that hit me in the right place at the right time. I still think her chapter on family vacations was lovely in that book.
This book never connected with me at all. It felt disjointed and vague, a series of blog entries without context, and without true connection either to the reader or to the author herself. It felt very much like a first draft, or a polite essay written for a school assignment. The author danced carefully around subjects that had great promise, areas where in my opinion she could have connected with something deep within her readers, but didn't bother. Instead, we got vagueness, polite comments likely intended to protect those involved, while at the same time an incomprehensible and never-explained list of her friends. Monica! Kirsten! Joe! I found myself flipping back through to try and remember who these people were, and how to place them in the story. I never found it. Without knowing their importance beyond their names and that they somehow are connected in this "house church", it's hard for me to then take sentences like, "Maybe you've found your own Monica or Kirsten." Maybe I have, but not knowing anything about them makes it difficult to decide if I have or not. A description of the friendship, rather than just a name, would be helpful. Describe the person or the relationship in a way that makes the reader care about him or her because they can see a reflection of someone in their own life, a reflection of QUALITY not quantity. For me, Monica is just a former boss and Kirsten is an American Girl doll. Giving these characters depth would have helped.
The other barrier for me with this book was it settled for preachy chapters and quick answers without even attempting to take the reader through the process. The author described her difficult year and life events in the beginning and basically blamed them all on her own selfishness. I have also lost a job at a church, in my case, a megachurch and a seriously emotionally and spiritually unhealthy job, and it was an event that I am still working through years later. I would change nothing, and ultimately it has been good, but it has taken a lot of pain to get here. I felt like the author didn't spend much time acknowledging or showing the actual grief of her losses (job, friends, move, miscarriage) in any way that made the reader understand the depth of that pain. Without understanding that, the conclusive answers and solutions fell short and felt shallow. It felt like the polite answer I give family friends when they ask how my year has been and it hasn't been good.
So disappointed here, because I had such high expectations.
September 30, 2013
If it were any other time, any other season, I probably wouldn't have picked this up from the Kindle store. I wouldn't have looked at this twice, because I don't think it's for me, or I would be interested. When was the last time I read a non-fiction, self-help book like this? I can't remember. But I know for sure that if it were any other time early this year, or if it were any other season in my life, I wouldn't have decided to get
Bittersweet
by Shauna Niequist and read it immediately after it loaded on Hannah the Kindle.
Oh, I guess it helped that the ebook was on sale when I saw it, so I bought it. But still, I wouldn't have gotten it and enjoyed it as much as I did if it were any other time of my life.
Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist is about so many things, but mostly, about how life is bittersweet. How life isn't always happy or sweet but we shouldn't let the bitterness of it get to us. There is such a thing as bittersweet, and it's the kind of life that we should appreciate, especially because all the learning and the changes and (most importantly) grace is seen in the bittersweet parts of life. This is a collection of essays and realizations about her life, and what she learned from them -- from her fights with her husband to moving to a new place, from meeting new friends, having parties and serving them food and these friends moving away. From her problems getting pregnant again to broken hearts, family members dying and babies being born. The book is an honest collection of stories that the reader will definitely relate to at some point, and drives the point that life is really bittersweet.
Like I said, if I read this at any other time, I don't think it would have made as much of a big impact as it did now. Bittersweet kept me company during the hard days, and spoke to me over and over and over again about grace and God's faithfulness. I couldn't relate to some of the stories Niequist wrote because I don't have a family, and I haven't moved away yet, but the lessons she talked about were universal, and somehow I felt like she really knew what heartache is, and she can relate to me. Her words served like a balm to my soul, and some passages made me cry several times because it felt like they were exactly what I needed to read.
In a way, it seemed like a promise, too -- that whatever you're going through, whatever your situation is, God knows it, and He will take you through it. It's not easy, but you have a choice to view your situation as bittersweet. And from her words, it seemed like she's healed and moved on from the hard parts of her life and if she can do it, then you definitely can, too. I needed that, and as I read the book more, I realize that maybe it was meant for me to see this book on Amazon, and to see it on sale so I can buy it.
Granted, some of the stories were a little repetitive, like stories at the end had some similarities to the stories at the start, but by the time I got to that, I was far too in love with what I've read for me to really nitpick about it. Despite that repetitiveness, though, the stories in Bittersweet were honest and heartfelt and real, and it made me feel that I had a friend in Shauna Niequist, even if this is the first book of hers I've read.
I wonder now how I would've reacted to this if I read this on any other time, at any other season. I know I'm being repetitive on this review with that, but I can't help but wonder. Would I even read this at all? If I did, though, I don't think I would've loved it as much as I did now. But whatever -- I'm just really, really glad that this book got to me at the right time. If you're in a tough time, if you're experiencing bitter moments, I definitely recommend this book. Bittersweet may not make your life better in a snap, but I hope it helps you heal, just like a good book ought to do. :)
* Also posted on I Like It Dog-Eared
---
First thoughts:
My prayer for you is not that you live a life that's only sweet and never bitter, but that even in the bitterest of moments, you will find the comfort of Christ, deep and enduring, powerful beyond all imagination.
Repetitive at some point, but I loved every story in it. So honest and heartfelt and real. :)
Oh, I guess it helped that the ebook was on sale when I saw it, so I bought it. But still, I wouldn't have gotten it and enjoyed it as much as I did if it were any other time of my life.
Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist is about so many things, but mostly, about how life is bittersweet. How life isn't always happy or sweet but we shouldn't let the bitterness of it get to us. There is such a thing as bittersweet, and it's the kind of life that we should appreciate, especially because all the learning and the changes and (most importantly) grace is seen in the bittersweet parts of life. This is a collection of essays and realizations about her life, and what she learned from them -- from her fights with her husband to moving to a new place, from meeting new friends, having parties and serving them food and these friends moving away. From her problems getting pregnant again to broken hearts, family members dying and babies being born. The book is an honest collection of stories that the reader will definitely relate to at some point, and drives the point that life is really bittersweet.
Like I said, if I read this at any other time, I don't think it would have made as much of a big impact as it did now. Bittersweet kept me company during the hard days, and spoke to me over and over and over again about grace and God's faithfulness. I couldn't relate to some of the stories Niequist wrote because I don't have a family, and I haven't moved away yet, but the lessons she talked about were universal, and somehow I felt like she really knew what heartache is, and she can relate to me. Her words served like a balm to my soul, and some passages made me cry several times because it felt like they were exactly what I needed to read.
In a way, it seemed like a promise, too -- that whatever you're going through, whatever your situation is, God knows it, and He will take you through it. It's not easy, but you have a choice to view your situation as bittersweet. And from her words, it seemed like she's healed and moved on from the hard parts of her life and if she can do it, then you definitely can, too. I needed that, and as I read the book more, I realize that maybe it was meant for me to see this book on Amazon, and to see it on sale so I can buy it.
Granted, some of the stories were a little repetitive, like stories at the end had some similarities to the stories at the start, but by the time I got to that, I was far too in love with what I've read for me to really nitpick about it. Despite that repetitiveness, though, the stories in Bittersweet were honest and heartfelt and real, and it made me feel that I had a friend in Shauna Niequist, even if this is the first book of hers I've read.
I wonder now how I would've reacted to this if I read this on any other time, at any other season. I know I'm being repetitive on this review with that, but I can't help but wonder. Would I even read this at all? If I did, though, I don't think I would've loved it as much as I did now. But whatever -- I'm just really, really glad that this book got to me at the right time. If you're in a tough time, if you're experiencing bitter moments, I definitely recommend this book. Bittersweet may not make your life better in a snap, but I hope it helps you heal, just like a good book ought to do. :)
* Also posted on I Like It Dog-Eared
---
First thoughts:
My prayer for you is not that you live a life that's only sweet and never bitter, but that even in the bitterest of moments, you will find the comfort of Christ, deep and enduring, powerful beyond all imagination.
Repetitive at some point, but I loved every story in it. So honest and heartfelt and real. :)
March 17, 2025
“the most bittersweet season of my life so far is still life, still beautiful, still sparkling with celebration. there is no one or the other, as desperately as i want that to be true. this season wasn’t bittersweet. life itself is bittersweet. there’s always life and death, always beauty and blood.
my grandmother is gone. her funeral was four weeks ago. those tiny, precious babies are gone, even though i still have dreams about them almost every night. Christ my Comforter, Christ my Comforter. i have mourned. i’m still mourning. i don’t expect the mourning to be over quickly. but it’s spring, unmistakably. tender, tentative, just-beginning spring, all mud and young grass and soft afternoon light. it’s almost easter: life after death. the pattern remains, and i’ll celebrate the resurrection of Christ with everything in me this year, pleading for a resurrection inside my own battered heart as well.
spring and resurrection and comfort. a bowl of blackberries, kisses from my son, friends that feel like brothers and sisters: the world is as replete and stuffed with goodness as it ever was. God is present to me, possibly more so than ever because of my desperation, and the world he made nourishes me with its beauty and hope as much as it ever has.
i still believe today what i have always believed: that God is good, that the world he made is extraordinary, and that his comfort is like nothing else on earth”
p. 248-249
my grandmother is gone. her funeral was four weeks ago. those tiny, precious babies are gone, even though i still have dreams about them almost every night. Christ my Comforter, Christ my Comforter. i have mourned. i’m still mourning. i don’t expect the mourning to be over quickly. but it’s spring, unmistakably. tender, tentative, just-beginning spring, all mud and young grass and soft afternoon light. it’s almost easter: life after death. the pattern remains, and i’ll celebrate the resurrection of Christ with everything in me this year, pleading for a resurrection inside my own battered heart as well.
spring and resurrection and comfort. a bowl of blackberries, kisses from my son, friends that feel like brothers and sisters: the world is as replete and stuffed with goodness as it ever was. God is present to me, possibly more so than ever because of my desperation, and the world he made nourishes me with its beauty and hope as much as it ever has.
i still believe today what i have always believed: that God is good, that the world he made is extraordinary, and that his comfort is like nothing else on earth”
p. 248-249
August 20, 2022
Shauna Niequist has officially humbled and challenged me, all in one.
She notices things that I typically brush over - like the taste of lemonade on a random Tuesday. Like the way food and long dining tables can have lasting impact.
She is constantly on the lookout for redemption and patterns of life after death. She has encouraged me to look deeper into life springing out of suffering.
Thank you Shauna for your brain, your words, your humor, your insight, and all of the ways that you are so beautifully different than me! Inspiring to say the very least!
She notices things that I typically brush over - like the taste of lemonade on a random Tuesday. Like the way food and long dining tables can have lasting impact.
She is constantly on the lookout for redemption and patterns of life after death. She has encouraged me to look deeper into life springing out of suffering.
Thank you Shauna for your brain, your words, your humor, your insight, and all of the ways that you are so beautifully different than me! Inspiring to say the very least!
September 3, 2010
I hate to mark it as "it was ok" but, the next higher choice is "liked it" and I feel a little dishonest to say I liked it. I found myself with the interest that I would have reading a stranger's blog. This book reads as if it were a culmination of blogs. I am a blogger and I love writing as a form of self expression and to sort things out. But, I cannot imagine that anyone who does not know me--or for that matter most who do know me--would be that interested in reading my blogs.
The transitions were not tight, they were similar to the silliness that I do to pass time on a Sunday afternoon. There lacked a depth to the insight. And, I kept thinking--maybe I was expecting too much. I picked it up at the Summit Leadership Seminar, so perhaps I expected more. But then, shouldn't there have been more. There were only 2 women authors available at the conference. Surely there are women writers who are producing something that is the caliber of Hybels, Manion or Mulholland.
The transitions were not tight, they were similar to the silliness that I do to pass time on a Sunday afternoon. There lacked a depth to the insight. And, I kept thinking--maybe I was expecting too much. I picked it up at the Summit Leadership Seminar, so perhaps I expected more. But then, shouldn't there have been more. There were only 2 women authors available at the conference. Surely there are women writers who are producing something that is the caliber of Hybels, Manion or Mulholland.
May 5, 2017
Realistic. Niequist has the ability to speak of both the beauty and brokenness of life without sugarcoating it. She is also easy to relate to. I constantly thought "that puts into words how I've been feeling" or "that's what I went through with such-and-such person". Faith, family, friendships, and food are the cornerstones of our lives, and Niequist invites us to take a step back and look at them with fresh eyes. To see both the bitter and the sweet as part of what life is, that you can't have one without the other, but that one will never outshine the other either. Beautifully written, easily readable, like chatting with a friend for hours over coffee and scones.
Although I wrestled with some of the theology in the book, we come from different backgrounds, so this is to be expected. This different perspective helped me see the challenges in my life through the power of Christ's love, grace, and that He is making all things new-- including me.
Although I wrestled with some of the theology in the book, we come from different backgrounds, so this is to be expected. This different perspective helped me see the challenges in my life through the power of Christ's love, grace, and that He is making all things new-- including me.
February 12, 2011
This book was basically just a handful of blog posts set into book format. None of the posts had continuity, so I kept reading about the same few events over and over again (losing her job, moving, having a miscarriage, etc.). When the author wasn't repeating herself, she was talking about how awful her life was, listing off the names of every friend she's ever had in her life, and talking about the food she served or ate at dinner parties she had with aforementioned friends. This book was a waste of my time.
January 19, 2015
Shauna has an amazing way with words. She helps you see things in a way you've never seen them before. Her words paint a clear and vivid picture and grasp your heart. Her raw honesty and real-ness is so refreshing and inspirational. I can only hope she continues to bless us with her words and stories from her life. My life is changed from having read her book.
July 8, 2019
Shauna's "thoughts on change, grace, and learning the hard way" was poignant, beautiful, and soulful. This book is like a warm hug from a dear friend while you're curled up swapping life stories on a comfy couch over mugs of coffee. It's warm and real and reflective in the best ways. I hang on to her every word and feel like we've been best friends forever every time I read her stories
November 2, 2013
I liked her first book, Cold Tangerines, so much that I immediately requested this one. Another winner. Now I've ordered her third book. I don't usually want to read that much of one author at a time, but this is good stuff:)
February 6, 2022
Many of my friends read this book nearly a decade ago, in or right after college. I almost did, but I am so thankful that (for whatever reason) I waited. I don’t think I could have or would have appreciated it the way I was able to now, having walked through a year of such grief and sorrow.
Shauna writes so beautifully about holding both the bitter and sweet moments of life. She is the absolute best at engaging your senses as she describes her experiences and memories in such a relatable, detailed way.
I basically highlighted the whole book.
“The most bittersweet season of my life so far is still life, still beautiful, still sparkling with celebration.”
Shauna writes so beautifully about holding both the bitter and sweet moments of life. She is the absolute best at engaging your senses as she describes her experiences and memories in such a relatable, detailed way.
I basically highlighted the whole book.
“The most bittersweet season of my life so far is still life, still beautiful, still sparkling with celebration.”
October 31, 2010
In the prologue, Shauna explains her thoughts on the title for this book. “Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness.” Reading through the book, you learn about moments where she experienced heartache and also pockets of “life is perfect” at just that moment. She talks about grace and how she has a hard time bestowing it upon others though she readily admits to needing it herself. “If arithmetic is numbers, and if algebra is numbers and letters, then grace is numbers, letters, sounds, and tears, feelings and dreams. Grace is smashing the calculator and using all the broken buttons and pieces to make a mosaic. Grace isn’t about having a second chance; grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and never come up empty. It’s when you finally realize that the other shoe isn’t going to drop, ever. It’s the moment when you feel as precious and handmade as every star, when you feel, finally, at home for the very first time.” She talks about how she faced not one but two miscarriages, the second being doubly hard to deal with because she had been pregnant with twins. She talks about the rough spot she and her husband went through in their marriage and how thankful she is they were able to recover from it. At one point she says, “when things fall apart, the broken places allow all sorts of things to enter and one of them is the presence of God.” She explains the importance of women having other women in their lives – how much those relationships have meant to her. “Bittersweet” is a mosaic of her life experiences all pointing to her belief that we need both in our lives. “…a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through…”
I liked Shauna’s style of writing. While at times it was hard for me to follow what time in her life she was referring to (she jumped around with each chapter), I liked the “realness” in her writing. She wrote as though she was talking instead of trying to use big words and make everything come across as neat and tidy. What struck a cord with me was her chapter titled “twenty-five.” Having just turned twenty-five, I was able to instantly identify with her. The chapter was her giving advice regarding things she learned from that period in her life. One thing that stuck out to me regarded decisions made during this time. “Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make in this season will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.” My absolute favorite line from the book was about her love of Christmas. She talked about buying the exact same scarf for several of her girl friends and how she liked the idea of them all living in different places but wearing the same scarf. She talked about thoroughly enjoying Christmas despite what we may be going through. “And I hope that someone who loves you gives you a really cute scarf.” When someone is honest in their writing, allowing you a glimpse into their life, you’re able to connect with them and that’s what Shauna has done.
I liked Shauna’s style of writing. While at times it was hard for me to follow what time in her life she was referring to (she jumped around with each chapter), I liked the “realness” in her writing. She wrote as though she was talking instead of trying to use big words and make everything come across as neat and tidy. What struck a cord with me was her chapter titled “twenty-five.” Having just turned twenty-five, I was able to instantly identify with her. The chapter was her giving advice regarding things she learned from that period in her life. One thing that stuck out to me regarded decisions made during this time. “Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make in this season will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without.” My absolute favorite line from the book was about her love of Christmas. She talked about buying the exact same scarf for several of her girl friends and how she liked the idea of them all living in different places but wearing the same scarf. She talked about thoroughly enjoying Christmas despite what we may be going through. “And I hope that someone who loves you gives you a really cute scarf.” When someone is honest in their writing, allowing you a glimpse into their life, you’re able to connect with them and that’s what Shauna has done.
October 13, 2010
"I learned about waves when I was little, swimming in Lake Michigan in navy blue water under a clear sky, and the most important thing I learned was this: if you try to stand and face the wave, it will smash you to bits, but if you trust the water and let it carry you, there’s nothing sweeter. . . . If you dig in and fight the change, you’re facing, it will indeed smash you to bits. It will hold you under, drag you across the rough sand, scare and confuse you." (Page 15)
A talented writer will capture her audience at the beginning of her writing. Shauna Niequist captured my attention in the first paragraph of the first chapter when she described the challenges of change. Her goal in Bittersweet is to assist us in learning to “go with the flow”.
After reading the book, I visited www.shaunaniequest.com and found the author’s definition of “bittersweet”.
"Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest nights, a shadow of heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness."
Bittersweet is a journey into the seasons of a young woman’s soul. It is about abundant seasons with faith, family, and friends. It is about sparser seasons of loss, grief, insecurity, and fear. As the author bares her soul as though she is the reader’s closest friend, the reader better comes to understand the balance we ultimately hope to achieve by experiencing life’s most challenging or most fulfilling moments. Shauna has a grasp on the turmoil boiling within herself and also that of her large circle of friends. She also has an appreciation for the abundance of good that is manifested in our lives.
The young women in the book are of the age when many are beginning careers, marrying and beginning their families. I would love to read Niequist’s perspectives on life twenty years from now or even forty. For now, I’ll be looking for a copy of the previous book she wrote called Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life. I’ll also be looking for copies to purchase for all of my friends of many ages who came to mind as I was reading.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Though this is a verse from the Bible, I must admit that my first exposure to the words was in a favorite rock-tune by the Byrds back in the 60s called “Turn, Turn, Turn”. Shauna is a very religious person and she repeatedly makes use of the word “seasons” in her narrative. The scripture and the song’s lyrics relate well to Shauna’s overall theme.
She talks about her ability to sometimes hear the voice of God. Sometimes that still, small voice within is impossible to hear. In those times, I think books like Bittersweet, music, friends, and even strangers are brought into our lives to help guide us when we are being attentive.
I was amazed to learn that Bittersweet was written in two weeks. I felt as though I were glimpsing into someone’s diary. The continuity of the chapters has the feel of stream-of-consciousness writing. It is authentic and true-to-life. It is a truly enjoyable read.
A talented writer will capture her audience at the beginning of her writing. Shauna Niequist captured my attention in the first paragraph of the first chapter when she described the challenges of change. Her goal in Bittersweet is to assist us in learning to “go with the flow”.
After reading the book, I visited www.shaunaniequest.com and found the author’s definition of “bittersweet”.
"Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a moment of lightness on even the darkest nights, a shadow of heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich even when it contains a splinter of sadness."
Bittersweet is a journey into the seasons of a young woman’s soul. It is about abundant seasons with faith, family, and friends. It is about sparser seasons of loss, grief, insecurity, and fear. As the author bares her soul as though she is the reader’s closest friend, the reader better comes to understand the balance we ultimately hope to achieve by experiencing life’s most challenging or most fulfilling moments. Shauna has a grasp on the turmoil boiling within herself and also that of her large circle of friends. She also has an appreciation for the abundance of good that is manifested in our lives.
The young women in the book are of the age when many are beginning careers, marrying and beginning their families. I would love to read Niequist’s perspectives on life twenty years from now or even forty. For now, I’ll be looking for a copy of the previous book she wrote called Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life. I’ll also be looking for copies to purchase for all of my friends of many ages who came to mind as I was reading.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Though this is a verse from the Bible, I must admit that my first exposure to the words was in a favorite rock-tune by the Byrds back in the 60s called “Turn, Turn, Turn”. Shauna is a very religious person and she repeatedly makes use of the word “seasons” in her narrative. The scripture and the song’s lyrics relate well to Shauna’s overall theme.
She talks about her ability to sometimes hear the voice of God. Sometimes that still, small voice within is impossible to hear. In those times, I think books like Bittersweet, music, friends, and even strangers are brought into our lives to help guide us when we are being attentive.
I was amazed to learn that Bittersweet was written in two weeks. I felt as though I were glimpsing into someone’s diary. The continuity of the chapters has the feel of stream-of-consciousness writing. It is authentic and true-to-life. It is a truly enjoyable read.
February 19, 2016
Truth: there is going to be good and there is going to be hard. No matter what. No one can get away with avoiding that juxtaposition. The idea of life being bittersweet is at the heart of this book of essays. Shauna takes snippets and experiences from her life and uses them as a springboard to encourage her readers to look for ways to bring their lives in harmony with both God's will and the specific things that will bring them true happiness.
I feel somehow disappointed in myself for not loving this more. I did highlight a lot of quotes - I DO think she has a lovely writing style and a lot of what she had to say rang very true to me. But, somehow, by reading so much about her life, I found myself feeling like mine was missing something. This is exactly what she warns us against, of course, but yet, somehow her enormous, world-wide circle of very close friends that are always somehow managing to be together and eat together and commune together made me feel like my own circle is too small somehow, not nurturing enough or flavorful enough. It may be that she is still more than ten years younger than me - she has only one child and he's just turned three. I remember those years of my life as being very full of people too - but this stage of my life, with teens and pre-teens and toddlers, is very different. Sometimes unmanageable and sometimes unthinkably lonely. And reading her advice just made me feel even more like I'm not doing enough. That isn't fair to her, probably, but that's my reality. I wanted her to be older than me - in the stage of life I'll get to next - and THEN tell me these things. I needed her to have more life experience to base her conclusions on - maybe that's it.
So, the book itself is full of good but because of where I'm at, I wasn't able to let it DO as much good as it could have. Even with her heartache (which sometimes she is specific about sometimes she is incredibly and frustratingly vague about) I just didn't feel connected enough with her life that I felt like I could do what she was asking me to all the time. I think really at the crux of it is that I see a lot of myself in her - her zest for life, her desire to have it all and DO it all and BE in all - and I just know how the years from 25-35 changed me. I'd love to hear what she has to say with some more hard under her belt. I keep feeling like this isn't a fair reason to not connect with a book, but I can't change it myself, so there you go.
I'll finish it with a quote I really did like: "And that's the core of prayer: admitting that just maybe, there's something going on that we can't see. So when I'm afraid, I pray, and I ask for God's help, that I will be able to see something I wasn't able to see before, or at least trust him to do the seeing."
Oh, and another one, one that REALLY rang true: "Sometimes we have to leave home in order to find out what we left there, and why it matters to much."
I feel somehow disappointed in myself for not loving this more. I did highlight a lot of quotes - I DO think she has a lovely writing style and a lot of what she had to say rang very true to me. But, somehow, by reading so much about her life, I found myself feeling like mine was missing something. This is exactly what she warns us against, of course, but yet, somehow her enormous, world-wide circle of very close friends that are always somehow managing to be together and eat together and commune together made me feel like my own circle is too small somehow, not nurturing enough or flavorful enough. It may be that she is still more than ten years younger than me - she has only one child and he's just turned three. I remember those years of my life as being very full of people too - but this stage of my life, with teens and pre-teens and toddlers, is very different. Sometimes unmanageable and sometimes unthinkably lonely. And reading her advice just made me feel even more like I'm not doing enough. That isn't fair to her, probably, but that's my reality. I wanted her to be older than me - in the stage of life I'll get to next - and THEN tell me these things. I needed her to have more life experience to base her conclusions on - maybe that's it.
So, the book itself is full of good but because of where I'm at, I wasn't able to let it DO as much good as it could have. Even with her heartache (which sometimes she is specific about sometimes she is incredibly and frustratingly vague about) I just didn't feel connected enough with her life that I felt like I could do what she was asking me to all the time. I think really at the crux of it is that I see a lot of myself in her - her zest for life, her desire to have it all and DO it all and BE in all - and I just know how the years from 25-35 changed me. I'd love to hear what she has to say with some more hard under her belt. I keep feeling like this isn't a fair reason to not connect with a book, but I can't change it myself, so there you go.
I'll finish it with a quote I really did like: "And that's the core of prayer: admitting that just maybe, there's something going on that we can't see. So when I'm afraid, I pray, and I ask for God's help, that I will be able to see something I wasn't able to see before, or at least trust him to do the seeing."
Oh, and another one, one that REALLY rang true: "Sometimes we have to leave home in order to find out what we left there, and why it matters to much."
December 21, 2020
I received this as a gift about 10 years ago and since I'm trying to stop hoarding unread books, decided to pick it up. To be honest I had no idea who Shauna Niequist is or about her previous connection to a church I really really disliked when I lived in Grand Rapids. (Mars *shudder* Hill.) When I discovered this, I considered not reading but it's been a hard year and I have been in desperate need of grace. The book was real hit or miss for me, ultimately best read a chapter at a time to keep from getting overwhelmed by all of her friends' names. Some of the chapters provoked thought in me, like the one that listed these journal prompts:
-Am I proud of the life I'm living?
-What have I tried this month?
-What have I learned (about God) this year? (parentheses mine)
-Do the people I'm spending time with give me life, or make me feel small?
-Is there any brokenness in my life that's keeping me from moving forward?
Chapters like "Steak frites" and "Phoenix" had something to say, and said it well. I enjoyed those.
And then there were chapters that said nothing at all. For example the one that is basically "we had a really nice time in San Juan!!!!!!!" Or the one that is basically "I like food!!!! Here is a list of foods I have eaten at my dining room table!!!!!!"
And finally, the chapter called "Princess Free Zone" which was so uninformed it pushed this review down to two stars. Is the problem really about women "batting their eyelashes and playing dumb"in order to get things done? Why not focus on the actual problem, which is men who won't listen to women unless they look a certain way or act in way that won't threaten their masculinity? Since she lives in a religious atmosphere similar to the one I was raised in, I'm not surprised by this, but I would hope that a person raising sons has been enlightened since the publication of this book.
-Am I proud of the life I'm living?
-What have I tried this month?
-What have I learned (about God) this year? (parentheses mine)
-Do the people I'm spending time with give me life, or make me feel small?
-Is there any brokenness in my life that's keeping me from moving forward?
Chapters like "Steak frites" and "Phoenix" had something to say, and said it well. I enjoyed those.
And then there were chapters that said nothing at all. For example the one that is basically "we had a really nice time in San Juan!!!!!!!" Or the one that is basically "I like food!!!! Here is a list of foods I have eaten at my dining room table!!!!!!"
And finally, the chapter called "Princess Free Zone" which was so uninformed it pushed this review down to two stars. Is the problem really about women "batting their eyelashes and playing dumb"in order to get things done? Why not focus on the actual problem, which is men who won't listen to women unless they look a certain way or act in way that won't threaten their masculinity? Since she lives in a religious atmosphere similar to the one I was raised in, I'm not surprised by this, but I would hope that a person raising sons has been enlightened since the publication of this book.
March 25, 2014
The good with the bad is something I always have been able to grasp. You can't appreciate a really good day unless you have a bad one from time to time. However, I never really have taken the time to deeply analyze and reflect on how my good and bad and interact, intersect and interplay to make for my own bittersweet existence. I so appreciate the thoughtful way that Niequist put her story out there on paper to provide inspiration to so many others.
Specifically, as someone who has been on the periphery of the grief of others’ miscarriages, I never quite knew how to react when my friends or family shared their sad news. I always treated it as a loss, a death and reason to grieve, but don't think I properly loved and cared for--on an ongoing basis--for my loved ones who suffered that type of loss. I'm grateful to Shauna for sharing her story about her loss(es) and how she and others processed it.
The idea of the home team also stuck with me deeply. I loved how she names it as so crucial to her spiritual and mental health. I love how it is more than just living in nice community. And I loved how she acknowledges how home teams shift over time. My home team is invaluable to me. My people. My cherished friends.
I read this book while on a trip, so I'm sure because I read it fast, I missed some lovely nuggets and phrases But I think this was a good book to accompany me on some flights and get lost in. I also find it interesting that I stopped to read this while also reading a book called, "The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet."
Bitter and sweet. They each make other better. I'm happy to have both in my life...and I hope to be more thoughtful about them both in the future.
Specifically, as someone who has been on the periphery of the grief of others’ miscarriages, I never quite knew how to react when my friends or family shared their sad news. I always treated it as a loss, a death and reason to grieve, but don't think I properly loved and cared for--on an ongoing basis--for my loved ones who suffered that type of loss. I'm grateful to Shauna for sharing her story about her loss(es) and how she and others processed it.
The idea of the home team also stuck with me deeply. I loved how she names it as so crucial to her spiritual and mental health. I love how it is more than just living in nice community. And I loved how she acknowledges how home teams shift over time. My home team is invaluable to me. My people. My cherished friends.
I read this book while on a trip, so I'm sure because I read it fast, I missed some lovely nuggets and phrases But I think this was a good book to accompany me on some flights and get lost in. I also find it interesting that I stopped to read this while also reading a book called, "The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet."
Bitter and sweet. They each make other better. I'm happy to have both in my life...and I hope to be more thoughtful about them both in the future.
May 18, 2021
This book took me awhile to read, but it was so worth it. While there were small bits and pieces I didn't agree with, the overall message of this book could not have been more timely. Shauna's stories were so relatable and the writing was so beautiful that I found myself stopping time and time again to save quotes. I think the last two chapters were my favorite, but I believe the final paragraph in the epilogue sums up the book quite nicely:
"My prayer for you is not that you live a life that's only sweet and never bitter, but that in even the bitterest of moments, you will find the comfort of Christ, deep and enduring, powerful beyond all imagination."
"My prayer for you is not that you live a life that's only sweet and never bitter, but that in even the bitterest of moments, you will find the comfort of Christ, deep and enduring, powerful beyond all imagination."
March 17, 2017
I have no words to describe how beautiful this book is or how deeply it moved me.
March 1, 2020
2.5 stars round up for the last chapter. I had to read this book as part of my small group. While I wanted to like it, I struggled. It seemed like I was reading her personal journal/cooking club book. And I am one who loves the ministry, community and food. She doesn’t focus much on the Word, but she does have a testimony. This rating is not on her testimony, it’s on the way she invited us in.
September 27, 2010
With each creative chapter speaking honestly about the beauty of life and its many lessons we endure, this book shares delicately and gracefully the words of wisdom of Shauna Niequist. I really loved this book. I found her perspective on life experiences relatable and her desires and vitality very uplifting, all of it hitting very close to home. BITTERSWEET gives a great big bear hug.
December 15, 2014
Shauna Niequist really has a lovely way with words. I underlined passage after passage as she used fresh metaphors and captured familiar feelings/experiences just exactly so. I like the style of her books quite a bit--a collection of related but mostly stand-alone essays, easy to dip in and out of. And I enjoyed this one more than Cold Tangerines.
November 12, 2013
Niequist is clearly coming into her own in this second essay collection. It's not quite as good Bread and Wine, but the seeds are there to be seen among Bittersweet's best writing. Well worth the time.
May 23, 2019
Really wished I read this book before her third book Bread & Wine. I felt like I was re-listening to the same book because so many of the stories were very repetitive. I love Shauna's wisdom and her rawness.
February 8, 2025
I picked up this book off of my bookshelf during a window of time where I had ‘nothing to read’. But the truth is, this book was exactly what I needed to read in this season of my life. Shauna writes like a big sister - relatable, real and raw. As I sat with this book 13+ years after its publish date, it hit me with so many truths and reflections that I never would’ve guessed I’d have as a teenager reading this book for the first time way back when. Shauna speaks life and hope into a loss I mourn in waves, references a city that is fun for me & loved by the people I love, and she truly is such a gifted writer.
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