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Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story
Named a "Pick of the Month" for June 2013 by Alan Caruba, founding member of the National Book Critics Circle and author of Bookviews, who called Swimming with Maya "a powerful memoir."
"Vincent's poignant decision to donate Maya's organs will resonate with even hard-boiled readers." Booklist
"Powerful prose with a meaningful and memorable message." Lee Gutkind, Founder, Creative Nonfiction Magazine
Previously available only in hardcover, Swimming with Maya demonstrates the remarkable process of healing after the traumatic death of a loved one. Eleanor Vincent raised her two daughters, Maya and Meghan, virtually as a single-parent. Maya, the eldest, was a high-spirited and gifted young woman. As a toddler, Maya was an angelic tow-head, full of life and curiosity. As a teenager, Maya was energetic and independent - and often butted heads with her mother. But Eleanor and Maya were always close and connected, like best friends or sisters, but always also mother and daughter.
Then at age 19, Maya mounts a horse bareback as a dare and, in a crushing cantilever fall, is left in a coma from which she will never recover. Eleanor's life is turned upside down as she struggles to make the painful decision about Maya's fate.
Ultimately Eleanor chooses to donate Maya's organs. Years later, in one of the most poignant moments you will ever read about, Eleanor has the opportunity to hear her daughter's heart beat in the chest of the heart recipient. Along the way, Eleanor re-examines her relationship with her daughter, as well as the experiences that shaped Eleanor as a woman and as a mother to Maya.
"Vincent's poignant decision to donate Maya's organs will resonate with even hard-boiled readers." Booklist
"Powerful prose with a meaningful and memorable message." Lee Gutkind, Founder, Creative Nonfiction Magazine
Previously available only in hardcover, Swimming with Maya demonstrates the remarkable process of healing after the traumatic death of a loved one. Eleanor Vincent raised her two daughters, Maya and Meghan, virtually as a single-parent. Maya, the eldest, was a high-spirited and gifted young woman. As a toddler, Maya was an angelic tow-head, full of life and curiosity. As a teenager, Maya was energetic and independent - and often butted heads with her mother. But Eleanor and Maya were always close and connected, like best friends or sisters, but always also mother and daughter.
Then at age 19, Maya mounts a horse bareback as a dare and, in a crushing cantilever fall, is left in a coma from which she will never recover. Eleanor's life is turned upside down as she struggles to make the painful decision about Maya's fate.
Ultimately Eleanor chooses to donate Maya's organs. Years later, in one of the most poignant moments you will ever read about, Eleanor has the opportunity to hear her daughter's heart beat in the chest of the heart recipient. Along the way, Eleanor re-examines her relationship with her daughter, as well as the experiences that shaped Eleanor as a woman and as a mother to Maya.
340 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 23, 2004
36 people are currently reading
968 people want to read
About the author
Eleanor Vincent
2 books17 followersMy goal is to create stories that engage, move, and uplift readers. I want my protagonists to stumble and overcome against all odds to be ordinary people dealing with extraordinary circumstances. As it turns out, life has dealt me a few of those.
I am the author of two books, Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage and Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story. Both books are memoirs, and both are ultimately about love and loss.
Disconnected, my most recent book, is a fierce, funny, and compassionate look at my late-in-life marriage to a man on the autism spectrum and the heartbreak of its end. It is a 2025 Eric Hoffer Award finalist for memoir.
My other book, Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story, describes the death of my 19-year-old daughter in a horse-riding accident and the subsequent donation of Maya’s organs to strangers in need. Meeting the man who received Maya’s heart, and the story of our ensuing friendship, gives readers an inside look at how organ donation affects grief recovery. It’s a New York Times bestseller and was nominated for the Independent Publisher of the Year award.
I am the author of two books, Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage and Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story. Both books are memoirs, and both are ultimately about love and loss.
Disconnected, my most recent book, is a fierce, funny, and compassionate look at my late-in-life marriage to a man on the autism spectrum and the heartbreak of its end. It is a 2025 Eric Hoffer Award finalist for memoir.
My other book, Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story, describes the death of my 19-year-old daughter in a horse-riding accident and the subsequent donation of Maya’s organs to strangers in need. Meeting the man who received Maya’s heart, and the story of our ensuing friendship, gives readers an inside look at how organ donation affects grief recovery. It’s a New York Times bestseller and was nominated for the Independent Publisher of the Year award.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
August 10, 2014
This is a good book about a mother's loss, what she does when she learns about it, and how she copes. It was a tough read at times for me, as its a hard subject in my own life, and I had to take breaks from it. But I went back to see how it came out.
April 16, 2013
Raw. Honest. Painful to read. Psychologically intense yet informative. How Eleanor Vincent relived her story to share it with others is an amazing feat. Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story is Eleanor Vincent's recounting of the tragic death of her daughter, Maya.
From Vincent's vivid descriptions of Maya, the reader meets a beautiful young woman with her future waiting to be fulfilled. On the brink of entering UCLA on a full scholarship to the Theater Arts Program. Her dream come true. Home from community college on spring break, Maya plans a day with friends at a local park. Innocently, she and another young woman chance to ride a horse bareback, the ride ending in a tragic accident and sending Maya to a local emergency room.
Vincent has relived every memory of that day in Swimming with Maya and many beyond to bring this story to book form. At times, it is almost too painful to read and yet her fluid writing style coupled with the joined hope between writer and reader that Maya will survive this accident pulls the reader onward through each page and chapter.
Coupled with the telling of Maya's story and her own is Vincent's treatment of the organ donor program. This coupling is strengthened by her explicit detailing of her personal story of love and loss. Each vignette and scene allows the reader to become a witness to the agony of losing one's child. At the same time, Vincent shows us how she managed to eventually heal from this unbelievable tragedy.
Eleanor Vincent is masterful in her writing and story telling. And she has shown that she was masterful in sustaining Maya's life through miraculous gifts to others. Life becomes the winner in the end, showing death it cannot take away everything.
From Vincent's vivid descriptions of Maya, the reader meets a beautiful young woman with her future waiting to be fulfilled. On the brink of entering UCLA on a full scholarship to the Theater Arts Program. Her dream come true. Home from community college on spring break, Maya plans a day with friends at a local park. Innocently, she and another young woman chance to ride a horse bareback, the ride ending in a tragic accident and sending Maya to a local emergency room.
Vincent has relived every memory of that day in Swimming with Maya and many beyond to bring this story to book form. At times, it is almost too painful to read and yet her fluid writing style coupled with the joined hope between writer and reader that Maya will survive this accident pulls the reader onward through each page and chapter.
Coupled with the telling of Maya's story and her own is Vincent's treatment of the organ donor program. This coupling is strengthened by her explicit detailing of her personal story of love and loss. Each vignette and scene allows the reader to become a witness to the agony of losing one's child. At the same time, Vincent shows us how she managed to eventually heal from this unbelievable tragedy.
Eleanor Vincent is masterful in her writing and story telling. And she has shown that she was masterful in sustaining Maya's life through miraculous gifts to others. Life becomes the winner in the end, showing death it cannot take away everything.
July 4, 2018
Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story tells the heartbreaking life of the author's beautiful daughter. Poignant, emotional and incredibly sad, Vincent writes one of the most beautiful memoirs I've ever read. She pours all her thoughts and feelings as a mother who outlives her daughter, something none of us should ever have to do. A must read... just make sure your have your tissue box handy.
My Rating: 5+ stars
My Rating: 5+ stars
December 7, 2009
I decided to read this book because the theme of this book looked interesting - a true story about a family's decision to donate their daughter's organs after she suddenly dies as a teenager. It turned out to be more aobut the mom's story of her very diffiult childhood, and all the mistakes she made as an adult. The first few chapters about the accident and the decision to make the organ donation were fine. But then the author totally digressed.
So not only do you end up with a book about the mom's life, which is not what you thought you had signed on to read, but it is also a very uncomfortable retelling of things that should probably be kept private. I was very upset that the author shared things about her dead daughter that I'm pretty sure her daughter would have never wanted her mom to share. I was especially shocked to read how the mom talked her daughter into having an abortion. What mom would want to admit that?
The mom shares such terrible things about herself that it is impossible to like her. I ended up feeling sorry for the girl who died, that she had such a lousy life.
The only other somewhat interesting part of the story is when the mom gets to meet one of the organ recipients. Though even that part of the story is a bit depressing. It's too bad that the author can't paid a better picture of organ donation, but instead has to paint a negative picture of the recipient.
Why did I read it? I really thought the theme would be interesting, but this lady should have stuck with a magazine article on the topic, rather than digressing into a novel about herself. And if she really wanted to write her life story, she should have been more up front with marketing her book as a novel about her trying to figure her own self out, rather than her daughter's death.
So not only do you end up with a book about the mom's life, which is not what you thought you had signed on to read, but it is also a very uncomfortable retelling of things that should probably be kept private. I was very upset that the author shared things about her dead daughter that I'm pretty sure her daughter would have never wanted her mom to share. I was especially shocked to read how the mom talked her daughter into having an abortion. What mom would want to admit that?
The mom shares such terrible things about herself that it is impossible to like her. I ended up feeling sorry for the girl who died, that she had such a lousy life.
The only other somewhat interesting part of the story is when the mom gets to meet one of the organ recipients. Though even that part of the story is a bit depressing. It's too bad that the author can't paid a better picture of organ donation, but instead has to paint a negative picture of the recipient.
Why did I read it? I really thought the theme would be interesting, but this lady should have stuck with a magazine article on the topic, rather than digressing into a novel about herself. And if she really wanted to write her life story, she should have been more up front with marketing her book as a novel about her trying to figure her own self out, rather than her daughter's death.
August 8, 2013
About 15 pages into Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story by Eleanor Vincent I started crying and that was pretty much my story for the rest of the book. Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story is a story of the unimaginable: having your teenage daughter die in an accident. Vincent writes well and powerfully evokes the complexity of her grief: it's unendingness, its permutations, its expressions. As painful as I found it, I couldn't put it down. I pray I never have a reason to need to read it again but it was not just time passed but a real experience of some, I'm not sure what, kind. Vincent decided to donate Maya's organs and her discussion of some of the repercussions of that act made me reflect on organ donation in a new way.
Swimming with Maya is a book of grief but also a book about love, in particular the love between a mother and her daughter. It is a book well worth reading for anyone.
Swimming with Maya is a book of grief but also a book about love, in particular the love between a mother and her daughter. It is a book well worth reading for anyone.
June 16, 2013
A true account of a mother's journey after the death of her daughter. The writing is so honest and personal, I found myself completely immersed in her story. The emotions were raw and heartfelt. The author has laid herself open to the reader. I could feel the profound sense of loss and her subsequent journey through the pain to happier shores. She literally dissected herself before us which must have taken a lot of courage. A wonderful read.
December 16, 2015
I really enjoyed this book. It is all about the life and early, sad death of the author's teenage daughter. I downloaded it to partly get some understanding (since I don't have kids) of how my mum feels. We lost my brother a little over a year ago at 45 and that was as sudden and unexpected as Maya's death was. It also made me sad for Meghan as she was really young when she lost her sibling. I was horribly saddened to lose my brother but I'm a lot older. I chuckled to myself reading of Eleanor and her siblings and the gaps in their ages....there was only 28 months between the 3 of us !!
I noticed she mentions someone called Jay in her dedication so I hope she has another man in her life. It was lovely to hear all about Lucia, too. I did wonder why the epilogue years weren't written in chronological order, though. it niggled me a bit.
I also wondered about Bizbomb and if she came back ? I'm an animal person and kept thinking of her !!
I think it was lovely that she let them take Maya's organs in order to help others. I expected the book to explore the relationship more with Fernando than it did. I know my mum offered my brother's but it was too late, sadly.
This is a book that isn't all sad, there are some real laugh-out-loud moments in it, too.
There were a few errors but nothing like I've witnessed in recent weeks with free Kindle downloads, so that in itself makes a huge difference to the reading experience.
Oh, I hope the author reads this as I'd like to know why she insisted Meghan separate her underwear and swimwear ??
I noticed she mentions someone called Jay in her dedication so I hope she has another man in her life. It was lovely to hear all about Lucia, too. I did wonder why the epilogue years weren't written in chronological order, though. it niggled me a bit.
I also wondered about Bizbomb and if she came back ? I'm an animal person and kept thinking of her !!
I think it was lovely that she let them take Maya's organs in order to help others. I expected the book to explore the relationship more with Fernando than it did. I know my mum offered my brother's but it was too late, sadly.
This is a book that isn't all sad, there are some real laugh-out-loud moments in it, too.
There were a few errors but nothing like I've witnessed in recent weeks with free Kindle downloads, so that in itself makes a huge difference to the reading experience.
Oh, I hope the author reads this as I'd like to know why she insisted Meghan separate her underwear and swimwear ??
May 24, 2014
Such a brave and selfless endeavor for the author, Eleanor Vincent. In the Afterword, she expressed her apprehension over the publication of her book when it first came out in 2004, to the point that she wanted to stop the presses. She was worried over her entire life's exposure to a wide readership; and yet her courage and desire to be of comfort to others took over.
The story didn't only revolve around grief itself. It's got glimpses into the author's childhood and family life as well as what happened years after that fatal accident.
Truly, no parent should ever bury a child. I couldn't even begin to imagine (and it is dreadful to do so) how devastating and hurtful that is. "Time heals"; "God will only give you what you can handle"; "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"; etc. All these are little grains of sayings that ring true in this memoir.
Eleanor has woven words into a book that not only relates her grief as a mother who lost her daughter. It also shows her struggle with her own self as she comes to term with the reality of her child's death. It is proof of a mother's resilience and strength and love.
The story didn't only revolve around grief itself. It's got glimpses into the author's childhood and family life as well as what happened years after that fatal accident.
Truly, no parent should ever bury a child. I couldn't even begin to imagine (and it is dreadful to do so) how devastating and hurtful that is. "Time heals"; "God will only give you what you can handle"; "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"; etc. All these are little grains of sayings that ring true in this memoir.
Eleanor has woven words into a book that not only relates her grief as a mother who lost her daughter. It also shows her struggle with her own self as she comes to term with the reality of her child's death. It is proof of a mother's resilience and strength and love.
June 26, 2013
This is a very raw and emotional memoir. It would be simple to say that it is about the relationship between a mother and daughter. It would also true to say that it is a story of organ donation. However, this memoir is about these issues but also so much more.
Eleanor Vincent goes into painful detail discussing her relationships with her own parents, loves in her life, and her often turbulent relationship with Maya. She tells of the difficulties in raising Maya and her sister. None of this was easy on the author, or those involved.
When Maya is injured in a fall from a horse, she is hospitalized in a coma. Eleanor shares with courage and honesty the emotions and heartbreak of watching her daughter die. She also shares the decision of organ donation.
This book is an important tribute to love, and also that of honouring life. Eleanor Vincent manages to turn a horrific loss into a celebration of life. This book is an important read for many reasons.
Eleanor Vincent goes into painful detail discussing her relationships with her own parents, loves in her life, and her often turbulent relationship with Maya. She tells of the difficulties in raising Maya and her sister. None of this was easy on the author, or those involved.
When Maya is injured in a fall from a horse, she is hospitalized in a coma. Eleanor shares with courage and honesty the emotions and heartbreak of watching her daughter die. She also shares the decision of organ donation.
This book is an important tribute to love, and also that of honouring life. Eleanor Vincent manages to turn a horrific loss into a celebration of life. This book is an important read for many reasons.
July 21, 2013
This book really puts the grief cycle into perspective. Through the Author's thoughts you can vividly see her anguish over her loss. You can see each of the seven stages the author went through, as told through her words as she was living it.
Reading through another's review who thought the author digressed through the book.. I totally disagree. The Author was trying to explain her guilt over WHY her daughter did such a reckless thing. She went through the "What If" part of her own life.. How she was raised, how her own rearing gave her the foundation or lack there of to raise her children. By working through all the guilt over her own mistakes she was able to truly grieve properly. In all honesty, I envy the author for being able to put her most intimate thoughts down. I thoroughly admire her to pursuer her dreams even though they were sidetracked by Life.
Reading through another's review who thought the author digressed through the book.. I totally disagree. The Author was trying to explain her guilt over WHY her daughter did such a reckless thing. She went through the "What If" part of her own life.. How she was raised, how her own rearing gave her the foundation or lack there of to raise her children. By working through all the guilt over her own mistakes she was able to truly grieve properly. In all honesty, I envy the author for being able to put her most intimate thoughts down. I thoroughly admire her to pursuer her dreams even though they were sidetracked by Life.
September 29, 2011
(Non-Fiction- Memoir) Swimming With Maya is one of those books that will always stick with me. Maya, 19, falls from a horse and is immediately placed on life support while she lays in a coma. This book is her mother’s journey through the decision-making process to donate Maya’s organs, her meetings with the organ recipients, the grieving process, and a walk through memories of Maya and Eleanor’s life as a single mom. Haunting, powerful, and unforgettable.
April 10, 2022
Love is more powerful than grief.
It’s not natural for children to die before their parents, and we ask ourselves what we could’ve done to prevent this from happening. When the author’s daughter, Maya, is in a coma due to an accident, she has no chance of recovery, so the author decides to donate Maya’s organs. She was trying to keep her daughter alive in the only way she knew how by doing this.
As I know all too well, saying goodbye is impossible when we lose a child. I lost my son to murder. For a long time, we can’t accept that our child is gone, so we see what we want to see in the faces of strangers only to find out that they are not our lost loved ones.
We parents also experience something called survivors guilt. We felt guilty because we are alive and our children are not. We heal when we realize that we don’t have control over accidents. They happen. It is a part of God’s plan. It’s normal for survivors to contemplate suicide, as we both did. But God has a purpose for us, and people still love and need us. Swimming with Maya will break your heart when you feel the pain of this desolate mother. But you will also see unimaginable strength when she shares her daughter’s organs and saves so many lives because of her love. This inspirational read is sure to please. 5-golden stars.
It’s not natural for children to die before their parents, and we ask ourselves what we could’ve done to prevent this from happening. When the author’s daughter, Maya, is in a coma due to an accident, she has no chance of recovery, so the author decides to donate Maya’s organs. She was trying to keep her daughter alive in the only way she knew how by doing this.
As I know all too well, saying goodbye is impossible when we lose a child. I lost my son to murder. For a long time, we can’t accept that our child is gone, so we see what we want to see in the faces of strangers only to find out that they are not our lost loved ones.
We parents also experience something called survivors guilt. We felt guilty because we are alive and our children are not. We heal when we realize that we don’t have control over accidents. They happen. It is a part of God’s plan. It’s normal for survivors to contemplate suicide, as we both did. But God has a purpose for us, and people still love and need us. Swimming with Maya will break your heart when you feel the pain of this desolate mother. But you will also see unimaginable strength when she shares her daughter’s organs and saves so many lives because of her love. This inspirational read is sure to please. 5-golden stars.
July 9, 2013
I picked up this book at Santa Barbara Writer's Conference after meeting the author of this book in a workshop and read it the following week.
Eleanor Vincent's heartbreaking but very powerful memoir is not an easy or fun read, but a very important one. As parents we get so caught up in our children's lives that is very difficult for us to make a distinction between their lives and our own. For me the biggest take-away from the book was that our children have their own destiny that is completely separate from our own and mostly outside of our control. Tragic accidents happen, as well as illness. But we as humans do have the power to cope and move on. We are more resilient than we realize.
Another lesson from the book is to live in the moment and enjoy each day because you never know what tomorrow brings.
The author spends most of the book rationalizing the accident, and blaming herself for being a single mother, her abusive parents, struggles with money. I am glad that at the end of the book she understands that it was just an accident and had nothing to do with her. Some kids are more adventurous and risk-takers, others are not. They are born this way.
I was struggling to understand why Eleanor was still craving her mother's approval and seeking to reestablish relationship with her father if they were both abusive to her psychologically and physically.
Eleanor Vincent's heartbreaking but very powerful memoir is not an easy or fun read, but a very important one. As parents we get so caught up in our children's lives that is very difficult for us to make a distinction between their lives and our own. For me the biggest take-away from the book was that our children have their own destiny that is completely separate from our own and mostly outside of our control. Tragic accidents happen, as well as illness. But we as humans do have the power to cope and move on. We are more resilient than we realize.
Another lesson from the book is to live in the moment and enjoy each day because you never know what tomorrow brings.
The author spends most of the book rationalizing the accident, and blaming herself for being a single mother, her abusive parents, struggles with money. I am glad that at the end of the book she understands that it was just an accident and had nothing to do with her. Some kids are more adventurous and risk-takers, others are not. They are born this way.
I was struggling to understand why Eleanor was still craving her mother's approval and seeking to reestablish relationship with her father if they were both abusive to her psychologically and physically.
April 23, 2013
Swimming with Maya: A Mother’s Story, traces the life and death of author Eleanor Vincent’s 19-year-old daughter and the subsequent donation of Maya’s organs and tissues. I loved this book not only for the beauty of the writing, its story about love between a mother and her daughters, the resolve it took for Vincent to meet the person with her daughter’s heart and feel Maya’s heart beat in his chest, but also for the courage, faith, and sheer tenacity it took for Vincent to heal and come to terms with her daughter’s death, and write her story in a raw, straight forward, and visceral way. This book is compelling. While parts of the story are very tragic, parts are also touching or funny or inspiring. Prepare to cry while you read Swimming with Maya. Also be prepared to benefit from the many life lessons it shares.
July 23, 2013
This book was difficult to read at times for obvious reasons. I could relate to it as a single mother who has a daughter I worry about constantly. My life is my children. I think the message I got from the book is that your children's life is really their own. You don't have the power over their destiny/fate as much as you'd like to. My heart goes out to the author. Losing a child has to be the single-most terrifying situation to go through and move forward. Maya was a beautiful girl I'm sure. It's not fair that a stupid random mistake took her from her mom and sister. Life is so unpredictable. I could appreciate the mother's openness to share her experience because as mothers we are terrified to even think of the possibility of losing a child. Many of us sometimes pretend it can't happen/ don't want to think about it. Maya' s mom addressed a situation most of us refuse to think about.
February 22, 2011
This is a wonderful book; well-written; so much honesty here...so brave. It is the story of a woman with two daughters, Meghan and Maya. When Maya was 19, just accepted into a full scholarship to UCLA in acting, she fell of a horse during a dare, a prank, and rec'd a severe brain injury. When she died, her organs were donated to others and her mother later met with the man who received Maya's heart.
It is the way that Eleanor Vincent tells the story that is so compelling, so interesting. She talks a lot about raising two daughters, being a single mom at times, the choices she made as a young woman and her relationships with her daughters. What a brave and thought-provoking book.
It is the way that Eleanor Vincent tells the story that is so compelling, so interesting. She talks a lot about raising two daughters, being a single mom at times, the choices she made as a young woman and her relationships with her daughters. What a brave and thought-provoking book.
August 14, 2013
Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story by Eleanor Vincent is a book sent to me by Net Galley... To the people at Net Galley, I send my humble appreciation for the opportunity to read and review this heartrending story.
The author takes the reader with her each step of the way as she allows you to witness any parent's greatest nightmare." What if something should happen to my child"? She shows you in the midst of horror and sorrow, and how something good and positive can arise from even the most horrific happening, bringing a small amount of solace to your soul.
The author takes the reader with her each step of the way as she allows you to witness any parent's greatest nightmare." What if something should happen to my child"? She shows you in the midst of horror and sorrow, and how something good and positive can arise from even the most horrific happening, bringing a small amount of solace to your soul.
April 12, 2013
A mother's story about the loss of her daughter, the decision to donate her organs and her journey before and after the loss. Eleanor explores her daughter's loss by looking at her own present, her past, her parenting and asking the question all of us would ask: "Was I a good parent? Did I do enough? Could I have prevented what happened?"
May 14, 2008
This was such an amazing book. It truly puts you in a mothers place when it comes to her baby girl. I would read this book again-
February 24, 2011
Had a good weep with this one. Recounts a 19 year old's death and organ donation experience. Pretty interesting.
August 1, 2013
Heartbreaking but beautiful story of a mother's loss, grief, and ultimate recovery.
March 12, 2020
My heart is still aching from reading Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story. Not just from the tragic loss of Eleanor Vincent's bright and amazing teenage daughter, but also from the powerful and traumatic story of living after that loss. This book was written in a different style, not chronological, but as if the author is telling you her story with back and forth telling of different time periods. I enjoyed that. I applaud Eleanor Vincent for writing her truth, pouring it out on the page and letting us into her world and I applaud her for being able to live again and believe in the goodness of life.
April 21, 2022
I don't remember how this book ended up on my Kindle, but I'm grateful it did. When Eleanor Vincent's teen daughter dies in a freak accident, she makes the excruciating decision to donate the "cornucopia" of her daughter's organs. Eventually she meets the man who now carries her daughter's heart, and the ultimate complexity of emotions was not what I expected. The death of her daughter also leads her to excavate her own life. This book is about grief and acceptance. Favorite line: "When I wanted to give up, the words I wrote here kept me alive."
July 6, 2021
Powerful
This book is a raw account of a mother's most devastating nightmare: losing her teenage daughter to a freak accident. The words flow from the page with an irresistible urgency as the mother tries to rebuild her life following the daughter's death. I highly recommend the book to anyone who loves memoirs or is searching for healing after experiencing a personal tragedy.
This book is a raw account of a mother's most devastating nightmare: losing her teenage daughter to a freak accident. The words flow from the page with an irresistible urgency as the mother tries to rebuild her life following the daughter's death. I highly recommend the book to anyone who loves memoirs or is searching for healing after experiencing a personal tragedy.
September 7, 2022
A heart wrenching story about a mothers loss of her daughter and how she copes with the loss and finds herself in the end. Very interesting learning about the donor process as well. Eleanor is a strong woman who dealt with many horrible things in life but kept going. My heart broke reading a lot of her story.
April 16, 2025
One of the most moving books I've read about losing a child. Eleanor takes you on a journey of coming to terms with tragedy. Her honesty about her life and how she comes to term with her loss is impressive. She paints a picture of her life and her daughters that makes you feel as if you are a part of her family. It's a hauntingly beautiful book.
January 6, 2021
Eleanor Vincent's memoir is both heartbreaking and uplifting. Beautifully written, searingly honest, and tremendously moving, Swimming with Maya is a story of what it's like to lose a child - and the long recovery to being able to find joy in life again.
February 15, 2019
Waaaaay too depressing! Eventually I skipped to the more uplifting part, but all in all - this book just brought me down.
June 8, 2022
This is a good book about a mothers loss of her daughter and how she deals with it’s very hard to read at times because you just can’t imagine the pain
August 11, 2016
As a single mother after my husband died - my boys had just turned seven and eleven - I identified with Eleanor Vincent’s feeling that she had to control everything, and thus, ultimately, hold herself responsible when things go wrong . . . in her case, horribly wrong.
Her older daughter, Maya, dies at the age of nineteen following a freak accident. Had she given her daughter too much freedom, had her lessons that life is about risk-taking and following your dreams resulted in Maya’s death? A moment’s desire to jump on a horse bareback; the horse rears, Maya is thrown to the ground, her skull split open and with it Vincent’s own life is forever riven in two.
Swimming With Maya is a page turner of a memoir. The story is rich, exploring the assorted layers that comprise grief, the parent-child relationship, and the hardships facing a single mother.
Vincent writes: “Maya was the love of my life and my best friend.” It is this candor that makes this memoir so haunting. But ours is not to question why the young are taken so unforgivingly . . . or is it? The job of the memoirist is to explore the rocky terrain of our lives and how our decisions and choices directly impact those we love.
Vincent’s own story of growing up in an abusive home is interwoven with Maya’s childhood. A cherished child in whom her mother confides and seeks advice, long before she should have asked this of her daughter, Maya challenges her mother, drinks too much, ignores curfew, undergoes an abortion when she is fifteen. Just when she is accepted to UCLA and about to step out and realize her dream of becoming an actress, the beautiful blond daughter that has been Vincent’s life dies tragically, suddenly, in an open field on a warm April afternoon. Her last words to her mother: “Bye Mom! Have a good day.”
As Vincent's grief deepens, so does introspection about life and death, resurrection and redemption. This is also a story of organ donation. Vincent makes the decision to donate her daughter's organs. Maya’s heart beats within the chest of a Chilean businessman whom Vincent longs to have a relationship with if for no other reason than Maya “lives” within him.
Vincent considers suicide, rails against God, and rails against Maya for her impulsivity, rails against herself. More soul searching ensues when she is asked to let her younger daughter, Meghan, go “trusting that, unlike her sister, she will return to me. With one side of my heart, I want to help and protect her, but the other side tells me to support her freedom. My job description as a mother has radically changed – I have to let her test her own wings . . . I latch onto the deeper truths about my old nemesis, control, and about learning to let go.”
But can we ever truly let go of our children? What is our role as parent? What makes for good parenting? Have we resolved our own childhood hurts? These are the questions the reader must ponder in Swimming With Maya.
As the memoir ends twenty years after Maya’s death, Vincent eloquently writes: “I feel Maya with me tonight. I can only speculate about her life now, but I often sense it deeply, its ongoing current and the way it interlaces with mine, sometimes submerged, then flowing close to my heart, jolting me awake – again with fierce love. Maya swims eternally back and forth in me.”
Her older daughter, Maya, dies at the age of nineteen following a freak accident. Had she given her daughter too much freedom, had her lessons that life is about risk-taking and following your dreams resulted in Maya’s death? A moment’s desire to jump on a horse bareback; the horse rears, Maya is thrown to the ground, her skull split open and with it Vincent’s own life is forever riven in two.
Swimming With Maya is a page turner of a memoir. The story is rich, exploring the assorted layers that comprise grief, the parent-child relationship, and the hardships facing a single mother.
Vincent writes: “Maya was the love of my life and my best friend.” It is this candor that makes this memoir so haunting. But ours is not to question why the young are taken so unforgivingly . . . or is it? The job of the memoirist is to explore the rocky terrain of our lives and how our decisions and choices directly impact those we love.
Vincent’s own story of growing up in an abusive home is interwoven with Maya’s childhood. A cherished child in whom her mother confides and seeks advice, long before she should have asked this of her daughter, Maya challenges her mother, drinks too much, ignores curfew, undergoes an abortion when she is fifteen. Just when she is accepted to UCLA and about to step out and realize her dream of becoming an actress, the beautiful blond daughter that has been Vincent’s life dies tragically, suddenly, in an open field on a warm April afternoon. Her last words to her mother: “Bye Mom! Have a good day.”
As Vincent's grief deepens, so does introspection about life and death, resurrection and redemption. This is also a story of organ donation. Vincent makes the decision to donate her daughter's organs. Maya’s heart beats within the chest of a Chilean businessman whom Vincent longs to have a relationship with if for no other reason than Maya “lives” within him.
Vincent considers suicide, rails against God, and rails against Maya for her impulsivity, rails against herself. More soul searching ensues when she is asked to let her younger daughter, Meghan, go “trusting that, unlike her sister, she will return to me. With one side of my heart, I want to help and protect her, but the other side tells me to support her freedom. My job description as a mother has radically changed – I have to let her test her own wings . . . I latch onto the deeper truths about my old nemesis, control, and about learning to let go.”
But can we ever truly let go of our children? What is our role as parent? What makes for good parenting? Have we resolved our own childhood hurts? These are the questions the reader must ponder in Swimming With Maya.
As the memoir ends twenty years after Maya’s death, Vincent eloquently writes: “I feel Maya with me tonight. I can only speculate about her life now, but I often sense it deeply, its ongoing current and the way it interlaces with mine, sometimes submerged, then flowing close to my heart, jolting me awake – again with fierce love. Maya swims eternally back and forth in me.”
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