Matter of Little Losses: Finding Grace to Grieve the Big (and Small) Things

by Rachel Marie Kang, K.J. Ramsey (Foreword)

Life is full of love, but it is also full of loss. Like paper cuts to the heart, every big and seemingly insignificant loss--the loss of friendships, faith, dreams, health, community, and everything in between--grieves us more than we think it will, and often more than we let on. Why? Because they matter .

In this compassionate and deeply personal book, Rachel Marie Kang invites you to see and be seen in the midst of your sorrow, your suffering--your story. Through prose and poetry that gives voice to all the things we lose along the way, this gracious book will help you

· ponder your loss without judgment
· remember what was and make meaning of your memories
· reflect on what is yet to be as you heal with hope

You don't have to bury your pain, and you don't have to pretend you're over it just because the world thinks you should be. Let Rachel walk hand in hand with you, giving space for sorrow and welcoming you as you find your way along the path to healing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Grief, Christian, Faith, Self Help, Mental Health, Memoir

256 pages, Paperback

Published February 6, 2024

About the author

Author of Let There Be Art and The Matter of Little Losses

Reviews

[Carmen Imes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this poetic and deeply reflective series of vignettes about grief. Laced with wisdom and undergirded with honesty--the chapters are short and make space for personal reflection.

[Mariah Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

“What if we saw our grief as gardening?”

This book slowly hugged my heart and smoothed my soul. Kang never claims to solve grief, to end hurts, or run past pain. Instead, she asks the readers to do the opposite, to sit in it. To acknowledge it. To name it and own it and grow it in.

Pain may not have been God’s plan, but he reaches down to us through it.

Absolutely incredible.

[Dana McKenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Matter of Little Losses
Rachel Marie Kang

Not only was this book beautiful on the outside it was even more beautiful on the inside

I use my book as a workbook/journal. There’s plenty of space to jot down your feelings or the answers to the questions that are presented within the chapters. I love that this book makes you think, it truly touches your soul.

Each chapter starts off, with, a picture of a flower and its meaning. There is poetry and prose in each chapter. The end of each chapter there is a three-part section to kind of summarize it; Remember, Reflect, Respire.

This book was beautifully written, I will definitely give a copy to anyone. I know that needs help with loss or grief. Not my copy though, I have highlighted and underlined so much. This one will definitely be a re-read for me. I absolutely love that Rachel Kang, weaved Jesus and scripture throughout this book. I couldn’t imagine being broken and not having Jesus to call on.

@RevellBooks @rachelmariekang #RachelMarieKang #TheMatterofLittleLosses #RevellBooks #spiritualgrowth #poetry @tlcbooktours @tlcdiversity

[S Arvieux · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am touched by all that Rachel has written. Her words deeply affect me and speak to my spirit. I enjoyed the use of flowers and their imagery throughout. Questions in each chapter gave me pause and sometimes stirred thoughts that were tucked away. I underlined, wrote in the margins and dog eared pages as reminders of my thoughts. Rachel has helped me through her words to identify areas of grief that continue. This is a special book of poetry and the written word that should be shared with many.

[Sarah]

I should start this review by saying that I don't think this book is intended to be read cover to cover. Maybe I'm wrong, but this seems like one of those books you'd reach for when you're walking through a little loss and you'd read the chapter that correlated with what you were dealing with.

Because I was reading this for review, I was reading it all the way through and it proved to be very heavy. Each chapter deals with a different loss so it's chapter after chapter of loss. After a while, it was too much and I had to take a break. (There were other reasons I'll get to later.)

Let me explain why I requested this book in the first place. I personally have experienced the loss of dreams and other "small" things that this world might not notice or qualify as a loss. I was intrigued with the idea of a book that would give voice to these very real losses that go unnoticed by most people.

What I Liked
This is a beautifully written book. I appreciate that she is recognizing the losses that seem small to many but mean so much to the person walking through it. I loved the questions and the reminders at the end of each chapter that help you process the topic better and leave you with something positive. The chapter on friends gives voice to what no one ever seems to talk about and was one of my favorite chapters, as it's the loss I've experienced the most recently. I also really like the chapter on dreams. It's the first one where I saw some hope. (Hold that thought). She mentioned how marriage includes loss and grief and this is something I've thought about but never heard anyone speak about before.

What I Didn't Like
This is supposed to be a Christian book but I didn't see God until over halfway through. Through probably 3/4 or more of this book I didn't see hope. I felt like each chapter had a victim mindset and a defeated attitude. Like there is no healing, just realize the loss and that is life now. Some chapters even seemed angry.

I get that this is a very personal and experiential book. But I've read other books that deal with loss or hurt or other similar topics and those books constantly validate the very real pain but point to hope and healing in Christ. I was disappointed that those things didn't come until so late in the book, especially if people are going to pick up this book and just read one or two chapters related to whatever loss they are going through. (There was also a moment when it seemed like the author was working in other spiritual things, which is not okay for Christians to be doing. Maybe I took something in a way she didn't mean, but that's what it seemed like to me.)

Because of all of this, and how heavy it became, I put this book down for a while. There were lots of little things that I liked and saved, but on the whole, this was not the book I hoped it would be and not a book I feel that I can recommend to people. It's hard to leave a negative review on something that is so personal because I know that the author poured her heart out in this book. I applaud her courage and I am grateful to authors who do that. I am sure it has helped many and will help many more. But I would recommend Lysa TerKeurst or KJ Ramsey books if you are looking for books on grief and loss.


I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for a review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Ruth Potinu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a special book. I loved the poetry woven through it and the unique take on giving space to grieve things like changes in friendship, a move, the loss that comes with the reality of disease and living in an often broken world. This book is so honest not shying away from the hard topics and yet it somehow manages to hold so much beauty and light as well. One of my favorite reads this year.

[Michelle Kidwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Matter of Little Losses
Finding Grace to Grieve the Big (and Small) Things
by Rachel Marie Kang
Pub Date 06 Feb 2024
Revell
Christian| Poetry


Revell and Netgalley are providing me with a copy of The Matter of Little Losses for review:


We live in a world full of love, but we also live in a world full of loss. It is similar to a paper cut to the heart, every loss--every loss of friendship, faith, dreams, health, community, and everything in between--grieves us more than we think it will, and often more than we admit. Why? Because they matter.


In Rachel Marie Kang's compassionate and deeply personal book, she invites you to see and be seen in the midst of your sorrow, your suffering--your story. Through prose and poetry that gives voice to all the things we lose along the way, this gracious book will help you This gracious book gives voice to all the things we lose along the way through its prose and poetry

· ponder your loss without judgmentConsider your loss without judgment
· remember what was and make meaning of your memoriesTaking time to remember what was and understanding what was meant to be
· reflect on what is yet to be as you heal with hopeAs you heal with hope, reflect on what is yet to come

There is no need to bury your pain, and you don't have to pretend you're over it just because the world thinks you should. Let Rachel walk hand in hand with you, giving you space for sorrow and welcoming you as you find your way to healing.


I give The Matter of Little Losses five out of five stars!


Happy Reading!

[Sarah Southern · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 35 years, I’ve cultivated my own losses, big and small. For the first half of it I was told to “just give it to Jesus,” to “let go and trust God,” to hide away my confusion or doubt, sorrow or anger and don faux piety to prove my crumbling faith. I’ve spent the second half of my life undoing the harmful rhetoric and theology surrounding grief and loss.

In her beautiful and lyrical second book, “The Matter of Little Losses,” Rachel Marie Kang affirms the magnitude of our lived experiences, the losses of innocence and opportunity, the losses of loved ones and faith. Connecting loss with botanical representation, exploring themes found through art, Rachel offers a safe and welcoming space to be—along with every loss we’ve grieved and are still grieving.

In this book is camaraderie and compassion, understanding and lament. Interwoven with stunning prose are profound poems and thoughtful questions allowing the reader to consider the memories and sorrows stirred by the various themes of loss.

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Part memoir, part self-help, part-poetry, part literary analysis, this book is a gold mine of information, and feelings. It was gripping as it grasped and shared an essence of life which is so difficult to capture, and beheld the truth through grief, pain, and loss but also through the small joys of life.

The writing style was absolutely gorgeous, and powerful in its hammering of simple words onto the soul. Not only did the concepts, memories, and feelings echoed through the author but their radiation transpired to the reader. The author engaging, and directly asking questions about the reader’s past experiences made the reading experience quite interactive, in my opinion.

Finally, I absolutely adored the references to literature, finding well-known and well-loved characters in the book. It is simply perfect to be able to hold them beyond fiction as helpful examples of people able of feeling magnified emotions.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

What an interesting read. The Matter of Little Losses at times beautifully explores the complex and multifaceted forms of grief found in the human experience and the poetry in particular really resonated deeply for me. While there are many, many strengths to this book after finishing it I’m not quite sure what to make and I really struggled to know how to rate it.

The poetry was really thought provoking, and I really wish there had been more of it. I felt that at times the prose was nowhere near as strong as the poems. I also wonder if the poems should have gone at the beginning of the chapters so that they could ruminate while you read the prose.

I didn’t really gel with using other books and films to capture moments of grief. While I can understand some of the reasoning for me it just didn’t feel like the right choice here. I especially struggled with how many works of fiction were used as jumping off points for exploring grief - I genuinely think real life examples and experiences would have been much more powerful.I also really wasn’t a fan of the questions at the end of each chapter - for me they really changed the tone of the book and truthfully gave me flashbacks to school textbooks!

Religion and faith becomes a much stronger theme as the book continues and I think truthfully this is where the book started to lose me. I think this could have been a stronger read if it had taken a broader perspective on faith.

Overall there are truly stunning elements to this book, from the poetry to using flowers and their meaning to help structure the read, to how broadly the book captures the range of experiences that can incur grief. For me I struggled with the prose and I found the later chapters very difficult to connect with though.

[KWink · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t love the writing style, so full of alliteration and free verse poetry, but I did appreciate her point that even the hidden losses should be recognized. Grieve the hurt you carry, even if no one understood how or why it hurt so much. You don’t even have to understand how or why it hurt so much.

And the last chapter made me cry. It was unexpectedly fitting to read it during Holy Week.

[Kimberly. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a beautiful and powerful book that I truly, truly needed to read today (and I literally started and finished it within hours!!! I couldn’t put it down).

[Priscilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderfully written and poetic book exploring life’s losses both great and small.
Very poignant and thought providing.

[Jenn Hutchinson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book had much more prose and poetry than I expected and it was hard for me to connect the prose and poetry with practical life applications. However if you enjoy prose and poetry you may really enjoy this book.

[Katie]

This was a slow but truly beautiful read, and as I close the last page I find myself ready to return to the beginning again.

Rachel’s words create beautiful images and uncover and unravel so many emotions around grief. I found myself pouring out thoughts, memories, reflections and revelations into the pages of my journal as I slowly made my way through the chapters. It was a wonderful journey through grief, keeping God at the centre.

Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley UK for a free ebook in exchange for an honest review. I will definitely be buying a physical copy to add to my bookshelf.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a beautiful, creative, poetic book that provokes a lot of introspection about various losses we face in this life. I personally was not in the right headspace for this book after losing my father. I was looking for more of a grief based book specific to death and how to deal with it. This is not that. I didn’t feel at this time like diving into all these other losses. I think this is a book I will revisit in the future for that reason as I think there is a lot to glean and think through.

[Sara-Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is brimming with wisdom and grace. I loved the rich reflection prompts sprinkled throughout and the poetic lens she brings to the topic of loss and grief. Flowers as a framing device is the cherry on top. This is a thoughtfully crafted book. I took my time reading it, savoring each chapter, and I'm glad I did.

[debbie-anne Hogarth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this after losing my dear aunt, a good book to read after a loss of a lived one.
I read this book through Lent, and found it helpful in my reflective moments, in my journey to the cross this Easter.

[Amanda Pascoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel Marie King has a true gift of creativity. Her books read like a poetic anthology. The acknowledgement of grief and ambiguous loss, too, in the same book is exactly what weary hearts need. Ms. King weaves Scripture, life and the things that break our hearts into a piece that is like the comfort of a good friend.

[Cassie (eclectically.bookish.cassie) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as a gift after my mom died, and I’m so grateful to have read it. While not all of it perfectly resonated with me (there were a few sections on race, politics, and church trauma that I felt disconnected from), the author clearly has experienced deep grief and has thought through the ways that loss, beauty, and the human experience intersect. The writing was beautiful. The chapters were thought-provoking. The framing of the book itself with poetry, reminders, and discussion questions will continue to be a resource for me in the future. I appreciated the way Kang voices topics that are sometimes avoided or considered impolite, bringing into the light the ways all of us mourn often, even in the smallest of ways.

The bottom line: More than just a book about grief, this is a resource for and a reminder of what it means to be human.

— NOTES —
Genres: spiritual nonfiction
Content: grief, illness, loss of loved ones, pandemic, pregnancy loss, etc.

— MY RATING CONSIDERATIONS —
(all out of 5)
Levity/Humility: 4
Information: 4
Transformation: 4.5
Gut: 4
Total: 4.125

[Miranda Atchley · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book of poetry dealing with grief sounded intriguing, so I was immediately drawn to The Matter of Little Losses. However, I found it a little hard to follow. The book isn't bad, and I think it would probably be a good, helpful read for some. It just wasn't really what I was expecting.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Revell through NetGalley. All opinions expressed are my own.

[Val · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this author’s style. The poetry and honesty add so much. The only thing I didn’t like are some of the political views that were very strong. But that’s only because I may have some different beliefs. I don’t want to go into detail for fear of hate responses here. It really is unnecessary. Just differences of opinions. Otherwise a very good book.

[Kristy Hoffman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sadly I just couldn't get into this book and the title made it seem promising. Maybe it's the way it was written but I didn't get much out of it.

[Stephanie]

This book will be coming out early Feb. 2024

[Sarah Wiehe · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book just fell flat for me. Nothing really new about grief.

[Jacob Padgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me permission to grieve. Space to weep for the losses that I see and those I am unable to articulate. Utterly comforting.

[Traci Carson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is healing poetry.

[Judy Ports · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explores the topic of grief with honesty, grit, pain, beauty and hope. Rachel dares to share both tough and tender experiences in such a vulnerable way that I couldn’t help but be drawn in. She speaks what many have felt but haven’t shared and gives voice to a wide variety of losses that we carry. There is no formula for HOW TO GRIEVE, rather there is space to open your heart, peek at memories, validate longings and feel seen… through the poems, the language of flowers, the question of faith and the encouragement in hearing that we are not alone. My advanced reader copy has copious amounts of underlining, highlighting, circles, brackets, hearts and notes of remembrance. I will be revisiting the pages, further honoring the losses, the lessons and letting in more light where there used to be so much dark. Bravo, Rachel, and Thank you.💜

[Sheila Atchley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was privileged to read the whole manuscript before it went to the publisher, and I have to say: this book is art. It checks all the boxes of a "work of art" in that it makes you see, feel seen, it gives you a language of emotion, it leaves space for personal application, it opens up new rooms of thought, challenges you, does not do your thinking for you, and Rachel points the reader to Christ - gently.

One more way this book can qualify as art: it can and will grow with you, and grow ON you. Each time you dip back into it, you'll see some tiny something you didn't see before.

[Elisa Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a beautiful way to help us consider and grieve the things that we tend to ignore. I was inspired to write my own list of little losses so easily missed and all my big life trauma that they haven't been honored in the way that I needed them to be to get unstuck and integrate. I loved the poetic writing, as well as attending to lost dreams, health, friendship loss, etc...

Although this book lends towards a spiritual perspective, Christian, I believe many non-believers would love it and be helped by it just as much. Highly recommend.