What do you think?
Rate this book
Sink Reflections: FlyLady's Babystep Guide to Overcoming Chaos
Fly Out of CHAOS
(Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)
Into Order—One BabyStep at a Time
With her special blend of housecleaning tips, humor, and musings about daily life, Marla Cilley, a.k.a. The FlyLady, shows you how to manage clutter and chaos and get your home—and your life—in order. Drawn from the lessons and tools used in her popular mentoring program, the FlyLady system helps you create doable housekeeping routines and break down overwhelming chores into manageable missions that will restore peace to your home—and your psyche. Soon you’ll be able to greet guests without fear, find your keys, locate your kids, and, most of all, learn how to FLY: Finally Love Yourself.
(Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)
Into Order—One BabyStep at a Time
With her special blend of housecleaning tips, humor, and musings about daily life, Marla Cilley, a.k.a. The FlyLady, shows you how to manage clutter and chaos and get your home—and your life—in order. Drawn from the lessons and tools used in her popular mentoring program, the FlyLady system helps you create doable housekeeping routines and break down overwhelming chores into manageable missions that will restore peace to your home—and your psyche. Soon you’ll be able to greet guests without fear, find your keys, locate your kids, and, most of all, learn how to FLY: Finally Love Yourself.
207 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
778 people are currently reading
3474 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 648 reviews
January 7, 2009
I have a love-hate relationship with the FlyLady. I joined her Yahoo group a few years ago, and did some reading on her website. Home organization and management is something I have always struggled with...it’s not something I was especially attuned to when I was living with parents, and it wasn’t something I was really interested in learning more about until a few years into my marriage.
When I got married, I moved into this quaint, lovely, cluttered old farm house. It had been home to the entire Reinhard family at one point, and there are still some remnants here and there of someone else’s way of organizing. When I discovered FlyLady, I dug into her way of doing things, only to find out that it didn’t really work for me. The error of my ways, as is so often the case, is that I threw out the good with the bad and just moved back to my old work-in-spurts mentality.
I probably wouldn’t have read Sink Reflections, by Marla Cilley (The FlyLady), but a dear friend, who I had consulted for home management advice, recommended it. “It’s better than the website,” she assured me (before I even objected!), and we are enough alike - and she is far, far wiser than I am - that I reserved it at the library.
It was an easy read. (I skipped past all the testimonials. Maybe those would be helpful for you; I find them annoying.) I realized, as I was jetting through it, that Cilley had some great ideas. I also realized, as I thought about my home and my struggles, that she wrote the book she needed, the book for her. Knowing that, I was able to just fish through her ideas, adapt, and go forth with my own organizing talents. (I am a “Born Organized” (aka BO), I admit it. I’m not very fond of the acronym, but maybe it’s appropriate in an ironic sort of way.)
When I made a list, preparing for writing this review, I saw that my list of what I liked far surpassed my list of what I didn’t like in the book. Though I didn’t like the acronym craziness (waaaay too cutesy for me), I really appreciated the tone of encouragement. Though I didn’t really dig the assumption of bad esteem, I did take notes on the many tips she had for organizing and running a household. Cilley is a maker-of-lists, it turns out, and her ongoing reminder that getting started and taking small steps is more important than perfection is well-received from Madam If-it’s-not-just-so-why-should-I-do-it (yeah, that’s me).
After I finished the book and promptly found myself a three ring binder and some page protectors (and typed up some lists, glorious lists!), I realized what I most appreciated about Sink Reflections, the thing I must have missed earlier in my explorations online. I need a kick start, many times, and a motivation. Cilley reminded me of a Charlotte Mason principle: forming a habit. Said Charlotte Mason: “Strong as nature is, habit is not only as strong, but tenfold as strong” (Home Education, p. 105). So where Cilley talks about routines, Mason talks about habits.
And, suddenly, it all came together for me.
I had to look past a lot of the esteem-building things. I don’t need the reminder to love myself, and I disagree with her about how I should start my day. (For me, it must be with prayer - and yes, that has to come even before getting dressed.) But that’s OK. She wrote her book, and I took from it what I needed...and I will probably be buying a copy to reference. Her lists are good and her ideas are stellar...and why should I try to invent the wheel when there’s a big chunk of it already done?
When I got married, I moved into this quaint, lovely, cluttered old farm house. It had been home to the entire Reinhard family at one point, and there are still some remnants here and there of someone else’s way of organizing. When I discovered FlyLady, I dug into her way of doing things, only to find out that it didn’t really work for me. The error of my ways, as is so often the case, is that I threw out the good with the bad and just moved back to my old work-in-spurts mentality.
I probably wouldn’t have read Sink Reflections, by Marla Cilley (The FlyLady), but a dear friend, who I had consulted for home management advice, recommended it. “It’s better than the website,” she assured me (before I even objected!), and we are enough alike - and she is far, far wiser than I am - that I reserved it at the library.
It was an easy read. (I skipped past all the testimonials. Maybe those would be helpful for you; I find them annoying.) I realized, as I was jetting through it, that Cilley had some great ideas. I also realized, as I thought about my home and my struggles, that she wrote the book she needed, the book for her. Knowing that, I was able to just fish through her ideas, adapt, and go forth with my own organizing talents. (I am a “Born Organized” (aka BO), I admit it. I’m not very fond of the acronym, but maybe it’s appropriate in an ironic sort of way.)
When I made a list, preparing for writing this review, I saw that my list of what I liked far surpassed my list of what I didn’t like in the book. Though I didn’t like the acronym craziness (waaaay too cutesy for me), I really appreciated the tone of encouragement. Though I didn’t really dig the assumption of bad esteem, I did take notes on the many tips she had for organizing and running a household. Cilley is a maker-of-lists, it turns out, and her ongoing reminder that getting started and taking small steps is more important than perfection is well-received from Madam If-it’s-not-just-so-why-should-I-do-it (yeah, that’s me).
After I finished the book and promptly found myself a three ring binder and some page protectors (and typed up some lists, glorious lists!), I realized what I most appreciated about Sink Reflections, the thing I must have missed earlier in my explorations online. I need a kick start, many times, and a motivation. Cilley reminded me of a Charlotte Mason principle: forming a habit. Said Charlotte Mason: “Strong as nature is, habit is not only as strong, but tenfold as strong” (Home Education, p. 105). So where Cilley talks about routines, Mason talks about habits.
And, suddenly, it all came together for me.
I had to look past a lot of the esteem-building things. I don’t need the reminder to love myself, and I disagree with her about how I should start my day. (For me, it must be with prayer - and yes, that has to come even before getting dressed.) But that’s OK. She wrote her book, and I took from it what I needed...and I will probably be buying a copy to reference. Her lists are good and her ideas are stellar...and why should I try to invent the wheel when there’s a big chunk of it already done?
December 3, 2013
I keep going back to this book again and again. This is THE organizational book for the die-hard perfectionist who lives and breathes a mentality of "if I can't do it right the first time, I'm not doing it at all!" Cilley lays out why this attitude leads to CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and how to take small steps to overcome it.
It's truly not about clutter and so much more about perfectionism. I have noticed a marked difference in my home and my life since I've started implementing the FLYLady's suggestions. Though her "27 Fling Boogies" and her "Weekly Home Blessing" may sound silly, THEY WORK and that is what matters!
Is the writing perfect? By no means. But FLYing (Finally Loving Yourself) is what it's all about!
It's truly not about clutter and so much more about perfectionism. I have noticed a marked difference in my home and my life since I've started implementing the FLYLady's suggestions. Though her "27 Fling Boogies" and her "Weekly Home Blessing" may sound silly, THEY WORK and that is what matters!
Is the writing perfect? By no means. But FLYing (Finally Loving Yourself) is what it's all about!
February 7, 2013
I originally found FlyLady online in a quest to get more organized at home, and at first I enjoyed her system. When you sign up online, there are an overwhelming amount of emails involved, and for those who work outside the home, it can really start a guilt trip when you see what you "should" be doing start piling up while you're doing the 9-5.
So, I thought I would just get the book and do an offline version myself. My first problem is that her writing style is just awful. It feels like regurgitated material, typos and all, along with testimonials from those who seem to look at FlyLady like some sort of organizational guru. I'm not an English major, mind you, but I suppose I thought in book form there would at least be an editing process to remove those typos.
Second, although she mentions frequently how little time you need - fifteen minutes here and there, an hour once a week - it adds up. There are morning routines, mid-morning routines, early afternoon routines, late afternoon routines, evening routines, before bed routines... routines everywhere. You could easily spend hours every day working this system.
Lastly, there is something in the tone that I just don't care for. While I'm certain her heart is in the right place, it just felt rather patronizing and nagging. (Book readers thankfully don't have the plugs for her apparently endless group of affiliates - that certainly takes away from the experience.) I'm in my mid-thirties, and was around thirty when I bought the book and gave it a real go. It just felt like someone telling me this was how I needed to do it, and doing anything else was wrong.
For someone with no real place to start, and no other reference for keeping a home running, FlyLady may be a good resource. I'm certainly not born organized, but I'm not competing to be on the next season of Hoarders either. (And I sincerely hope later editions were proofread, and the Comic Sans removed.)
So, I thought I would just get the book and do an offline version myself. My first problem is that her writing style is just awful. It feels like regurgitated material, typos and all, along with testimonials from those who seem to look at FlyLady like some sort of organizational guru. I'm not an English major, mind you, but I suppose I thought in book form there would at least be an editing process to remove those typos.
Second, although she mentions frequently how little time you need - fifteen minutes here and there, an hour once a week - it adds up. There are morning routines, mid-morning routines, early afternoon routines, late afternoon routines, evening routines, before bed routines... routines everywhere. You could easily spend hours every day working this system.
Lastly, there is something in the tone that I just don't care for. While I'm certain her heart is in the right place, it just felt rather patronizing and nagging. (Book readers thankfully don't have the plugs for her apparently endless group of affiliates - that certainly takes away from the experience.) I'm in my mid-thirties, and was around thirty when I bought the book and gave it a real go. It just felt like someone telling me this was how I needed to do it, and doing anything else was wrong.
For someone with no real place to start, and no other reference for keeping a home running, FlyLady may be a good resource. I'm certainly not born organized, but I'm not competing to be on the next season of Hoarders either. (And I sincerely hope later editions were proofread, and the Comic Sans removed.)
September 16, 2011
There was a lot of good content in this book, but I found the delivery completely obnoxious. Getting a morning and before bed routine as well as breaking your house into 5 zones and cleaning one (15 minutes a day) each week for a month (when the cycle repeats) I thought were good ideas. However, I could not stand the cutesy terms and acronyms she made up and the overuse of annoying cliches. Also she was not actually very clear at describing certain key routines in her book. She should have spent more time being clear about methods for getting your house clean and less time making it all sound so cute. I had to speed read the second half so I wouldn't vomit.
January 17, 2011
I was a bit reluctant to give this book 5 stars, because it isn't exactly amazing literature. In fact, I felt that it wasn't even very well-written in some parts. HOWEVER, considering the tremendous impact this book has had on my life, I couldn't give it anything less than 5 stars. This book is not for everyone, but it is GREAT for people like me whose perfectionism gets in the way of truly being productive around the house, and people described as SHEs ("Sidetracked Home Executives") who have great intentions but are constantly distracted and sidetracked, moving from one thing to the next but never really getting anywhere. I had a lot of big "light bulb" moments while reading this book - suddenly I understand why I have been feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed with things around the house. Now, instead of feeling like a job isn't worth doing if I can't do it perfectly (which just makes me feel so overwhelmed that I don't even attempt it), my goal is to just make progress every day. Along with helping me have some major realizations about myself, it offered great suggestions on getting organized and being productive, which I have been putting to use with great success. Since reading this book I have been more productive than I have been in ages, because I am seeing things differently and doing things differently. This book helped me adopt a different mindset, and that has made all the difference in the world for me (and my family... after all, a happier Mom makes for a happier husband and happier children! Everyone in this house is happier now!)
August 2, 2018
This one is a keeper for those of us who have trouble getting organized and staying motivated.
It's simple, straightforward, practical and inspiring.
As Ms. Cilley (a.k.a. FlyLady) would say, don't try to catch up. Just jump in where you are. Oh, and while I don't follow her spiritual beliefs I can totally get down with her warning to stay positive, no whining, nagging or complaining allowed. That's a fact, Jack! No one ever really got what they wanted by feeling sorry for themselves and acting like a doormat. Of course I love my family, but the bottom line is, I want a clean home and an organized, clutter-free life for ME. I deserve it, and who better to take the reins and work toward getting things in order than myself?
The only part that makes me uncomfortable is Cilley's strong religious beliefs, but the author herself says to take it or leave it. I absolutely agree with her that mess and disorganization on the outside outside reflects what's going on inside. There is no doubt that she is writing from a place of love, peace, and self-respect.
It's simple, straightforward, practical and inspiring.
As Ms. Cilley (a.k.a. FlyLady) would say, don't try to catch up. Just jump in where you are. Oh, and while I don't follow her spiritual beliefs I can totally get down with her warning to stay positive, no whining, nagging or complaining allowed. That's a fact, Jack! No one ever really got what they wanted by feeling sorry for themselves and acting like a doormat. Of course I love my family, but the bottom line is, I want a clean home and an organized, clutter-free life for ME. I deserve it, and who better to take the reins and work toward getting things in order than myself?
The only part that makes me uncomfortable is Cilley's strong religious beliefs, but the author herself says to take it or leave it. I absolutely agree with her that mess and disorganization on the outside outside reflects what's going on inside. There is no doubt that she is writing from a place of love, peace, and self-respect.
June 2, 2009
My only complaint about this book introducing a system of keeping your house under control (in terms of cleaning and organizing) is that it doesn't really say what the system is.
It does a great job of getting you in the right frame of mind. "You are not behind", "your house did not get messed up in a month, it's not going to get clean in a month", "do a little at a time, whatever you can manage", etc., and many, many testimonials from others who have felt their lives improve.
The author does admit that everyone's situation is different, and you will probably have to adapt her suggestions--good, gives me permission not to feel like I've failed if I don't do exactly what she says. But when you change things, what exactly are the core pieces that you should make sure to retain?
I guess it's more of a "learn by doing" thing. She runs an email list, that is the real backbone of maintaining her system (until and unless you feel prepared to "wing it" on your own). Over the course of time reviewing her emails, you can gain a sense of exactly what she's suggesting, and so figure out what you should be doing to go along with it.
Anyway, as much as I can figure out, it does seem to be very sensible stuff here. Let go of perfectionism: don't wait until you have time to clean the room properly--if you do 15 minutes at a time, you'll eventually get through it all. (This is a big trap for me, as I love cleaning completely.) A partial cleaning job is still beneficial. Do it now. Stop whining. Build it into your daily morning and nighttime routines, so it feels odd if you don't do it. A consistently shining sink can be a beacon in times when other things don't seem to be under control. If you fall off, get back on again, where you are, and don't worry about "catching up".
I'm now following the email list, and working out how this "system" can work in my own life. I plan to re-read the book again in a few months after I feel more settled with the routines, to see if I forgot anything.
It does a great job of getting you in the right frame of mind. "You are not behind", "your house did not get messed up in a month, it's not going to get clean in a month", "do a little at a time, whatever you can manage", etc., and many, many testimonials from others who have felt their lives improve.
The author does admit that everyone's situation is different, and you will probably have to adapt her suggestions--good, gives me permission not to feel like I've failed if I don't do exactly what she says. But when you change things, what exactly are the core pieces that you should make sure to retain?
I guess it's more of a "learn by doing" thing. She runs an email list, that is the real backbone of maintaining her system (until and unless you feel prepared to "wing it" on your own). Over the course of time reviewing her emails, you can gain a sense of exactly what she's suggesting, and so figure out what you should be doing to go along with it.
Anyway, as much as I can figure out, it does seem to be very sensible stuff here. Let go of perfectionism: don't wait until you have time to clean the room properly--if you do 15 minutes at a time, you'll eventually get through it all. (This is a big trap for me, as I love cleaning completely.) A partial cleaning job is still beneficial. Do it now. Stop whining. Build it into your daily morning and nighttime routines, so it feels odd if you don't do it. A consistently shining sink can be a beacon in times when other things don't seem to be under control. If you fall off, get back on again, where you are, and don't worry about "catching up".
I'm now following the email list, and working out how this "system" can work in my own life. I plan to re-read the book again in a few months after I feel more settled with the routines, to see if I forgot anything.
May 22, 2018
I had browsed a bit on the FlyLady's website a couple of years ago when I was looking for house organization tips and tricks. I vaguely remembered the sink cleaning stuff. I have been VERY slowly and steadily trying to declutter my house since January (with minor progress/success?), so when I saw this book, I grabbed it, and figured to give it a shot again. I HATED it. I read the whole thing, but it was painful. I am just so NOT the target audience for this woman. I don't like her cutesy Christian diction, I don't like the perky tone, I have arthritis and wearing shoes hurts my damned feet, so her insistence on "getting dressed to shoes" every day made me want to barf-- this book is very much for able bodied, overwhelmed housewives, not so much chronically ill involuntary stay at home moms who hate housework and cringe at words like "blessing" used as a verb and a noun over and over. I also am irritated that over ad over again the author insists that we shouldnt expect other household members to do their share- her advice is to set an example and just do other people's chores for them when they ignore their chores. No. Sorry. I'm not a maid. So even though I hated the book and cannot bring myself to give it more than one star (because "it was ok" just doesn't describe my reaction), I can say that the "set a timer" 15 minute cleaning tip is a good one. It helps me feel productive and I can schedule those 15 minute sessions when I'm at my best in terms of pain management. So not terrible, but not for me. One star- recommended only for happy housewife types.
June 1, 2021
I absolutely loved this encouraging and helpful cleaning book! Even if some of FlyLadys ideas seem a bit crazy... they work, and she's been a very effective teacher over the years. This book has been a huge help to me and our newly established home!
*Update: just read this book for a second time! Fly Lady encourages me to clean like no one else! She may be quirky but I do believe her system works! I also love how she doesn't just focus on cleaning, but also on taking good care of yourself as well (there's definitely WAY too much talk about loving yourself, and I don't agree with her on that, but I do understand what she's trying to get across to the reader!). It was definitely worth it to read this book again!
*Update: just read this book for a second time! Fly Lady encourages me to clean like no one else! She may be quirky but I do believe her system works! I also love how she doesn't just focus on cleaning, but also on taking good care of yourself as well (there's definitely WAY too much talk about loving yourself, and I don't agree with her on that, but I do understand what she's trying to get across to the reader!). It was definitely worth it to read this book again!
November 1, 2012
I'm as of yet undecided about this book. As with many other organizational books, I do not like its format. I wish it would give you the system/checklists up front and let the explanation follow. Instead I found the book itself to be somewhat cluttered and disorganized. Too many letters of thanks from happy customers, not enough actual content.
As for the content, it can be basically summed up with three ideas:
1. Have a morning routine
2. Have a bedtime routine
3. Do a little bit of detail cleaning every day, and things won't pile up on you.
She does give specifics for the above, as well as helpful ideas for decluttering, and encourages her followers to only do a little at a time and not worry about it being perfect.
I'm not sure whether reading this book will impact my cleaning style or not. I'm not strictly a checklist person when it comes to routines and have been known to let some housework stand undone in favor of other worthy activities. I do like the idea of detail cleaning a bit each day/week, and may give that a shot, as in the past I've been a fall/spring cleaning person. While that makes for a satisfying deep clean, it is a lot of work.
I was reminded of this passage from Cold Sassy Tree:
Miss Love was washing a kitchen window that looked clean to me already. It seemed like every time I went down there, she was washing floors or windows, one, despite she'd cleaned the whole house good last summer. "Miss Love, I reckon you ain't heard about fall and spring cleanin'," I said one day. She had come out on the back porch to empty her wash water just as I headed for the barn. I said, "In between spring and fall, and fall and spring, ma'am, you just s'posed to sweep and mop and use the feather duster and like that."
"I like the Yankee way better," she said, bristling. I reckon she thought Mama had criticized how she did. "Up North, ladies do extra cleaning every week in one room. Brush down the walls and wash the floor one week, maybe wash windows and curtains the next, and so on. When they get that room done, they start on another. The house stays nice year round, and it's not exhausting like doing all the heavy cleaning at once."
When I told Mama, she said, "I'd rather get worn out twice a year than stay worn out all the time."
Time will tell if I will adopt a Yankee cleaning style or stick to the Southern one I've been raised with.
As for the content, it can be basically summed up with three ideas:
1. Have a morning routine
2. Have a bedtime routine
3. Do a little bit of detail cleaning every day, and things won't pile up on you.
She does give specifics for the above, as well as helpful ideas for decluttering, and encourages her followers to only do a little at a time and not worry about it being perfect.
I'm not sure whether reading this book will impact my cleaning style or not. I'm not strictly a checklist person when it comes to routines and have been known to let some housework stand undone in favor of other worthy activities. I do like the idea of detail cleaning a bit each day/week, and may give that a shot, as in the past I've been a fall/spring cleaning person. While that makes for a satisfying deep clean, it is a lot of work.
I was reminded of this passage from Cold Sassy Tree:
Miss Love was washing a kitchen window that looked clean to me already. It seemed like every time I went down there, she was washing floors or windows, one, despite she'd cleaned the whole house good last summer. "Miss Love, I reckon you ain't heard about fall and spring cleanin'," I said one day. She had come out on the back porch to empty her wash water just as I headed for the barn. I said, "In between spring and fall, and fall and spring, ma'am, you just s'posed to sweep and mop and use the feather duster and like that."
"I like the Yankee way better," she said, bristling. I reckon she thought Mama had criticized how she did. "Up North, ladies do extra cleaning every week in one room. Brush down the walls and wash the floor one week, maybe wash windows and curtains the next, and so on. When they get that room done, they start on another. The house stays nice year round, and it's not exhausting like doing all the heavy cleaning at once."
When I told Mama, she said, "I'd rather get worn out twice a year than stay worn out all the time."
Time will tell if I will adopt a Yankee cleaning style or stick to the Southern one I've been raised with.
September 30, 2008
If you are "born organized" this read is not worth your time. But if you are like me, and struggle to maintain any sense of order in your home, this book is awesome! I'm still learning, and my house is by no means under control. But the techniques I've been able to implement have helped immensely. This book is the basis for "FLY Lady". If you've ever been turned off of FLY Lady because you subscribed to the emails without reading this book--you need to start from scratch! Forget about the internet website & emails, just read the book!
November 8, 2022
Ok loved this book, I feel this is a book you keep , refer back to and mark it up. I really loved her chapter about moving she had really good ideas . Also really loved her fans newsletters she would read, they were very relatable. I’ve never been a slob myself. I am a surface cleaner and deep cleaner but not anymore. I’ve adopted her ideas into my routine and I love it so much! It is very doable and much easier than doing the once in a while dusting and decluttering and so on … it is very feasible and the things I’d normally deep clean like fridge and stove are now a quick swipe , no more deep cleanings for me, and I am so excited! I’m actually cleaning less than I have ever before. It takes less effort and less time. The constant decluttering is also something I love that is very helpful. I gave it four stars for poor theology and for the advice of getting our husbands in to help .
August 23, 2011
There is some practical info in this book--about 10 pages worth. All the rest is impractical, unnecessary fluff. Additionally, anyone who has ever heard of the woman's lib movement will probably find the 200 pages of fluff highly irritating.
Also, if you're annoyed by huge, broad, sweeping generalizations (i.e., every woman has, or wants to have children; everyone is A. religious, B. believes in "god", and C. is Christian), just save yourself the aggravation and skip this book.
Finally, this book is not only poorly written, but EXTREMELY poorly organized. For example, there is one chapter (seven, I think) which should have been part of chapter one.
Also, if you're annoyed by huge, broad, sweeping generalizations (i.e., every woman has, or wants to have children; everyone is A. religious, B. believes in "god", and C. is Christian), just save yourself the aggravation and skip this book.
Finally, this book is not only poorly written, but EXTREMELY poorly organized. For example, there is one chapter (seven, I think) which should have been part of chapter one.
October 26, 2022
What can I say? I've been a "Fly Lady" convert for several months and reading this collection of essays motivates and solidifies why I love this home management method so much. I feel like Marla Cilley is a good friend, spurring me on to take care of my home in a sustainable and efficient way! This is full of practical tips and success stories. I like how straight forward Marla is in her writing, she doesn't coddle you or hold your hand. The only thing that is "meh" about Marla's books is that her theology is pretty fluffy/love yourself first. However, the spiritual comments in all her books are so rare, I just disregard anything I disagree with.
September 19, 2018
This book was written in 2002 and it is very out of date. It also seems to be aimed at the stay at home mom without any thought to other types of lives or families. Toward the middle of the book, the author writes that we choose to go to work. Most of us work so that we can live inside and eat. Also way too many references to God.
December 19, 2009
Not a bad book on organizing your home, but not very well organized (IMO) for an organizational book. The author has had a website for awhile before writing this book, and it kind of assumes that you have been a website follower, I think. Not that you can't follow along just fine, only that it will say "And now you're going to put this into your binder of routine lists!" and I would be like, "Oh, I guess I'm supposed to have a binder of some sort..."
It seemed often geared towards women with much messier/disastrous houses than mine, and that made me feel good. Yeah, sure I have toys all over my kitchen floor, but there isn't any mildew growing in my bathroom like she's describing! Yeah for me!
Her methods are all about getting into cleaning routines, having specific things to do on specific days, etc, etc... I think this method could work great for me, but in a few years. I tried the idea of doing things routinely (kind of), but with a 3 year old and a baby, I got interrupted every 3 minutes by something. Then I would have to take them downstairs to feed them breakfast, while I was doing a "routine" upstairs. According the this book, I should not get distracted by doing the laundry downstairs when I am supposed to be doing the bathroom upstairs. However, with young children you are forced to move around the house constantly, and nothing would get done if I didn't allow myself to get "sidetracked" into doing a different job when I end up in a different part of the house with my kids. That's how I see it, at least.
I am a much bigger fan of Don Aslett's style. He is much more ADD. If I end up trapped watching the kids in my 3 year old's room, keeping them from making each other cry, then I'll straighten up his room and put away his laundry and change his sheets, since I am there. This is in spite of the fact that I am in the middle of cleaning the living room downstairs and the vacuum is still out. So maybe someday, when my kids are old enough to play on their own for more than 10 minutes at a time...
It seemed often geared towards women with much messier/disastrous houses than mine, and that made me feel good. Yeah, sure I have toys all over my kitchen floor, but there isn't any mildew growing in my bathroom like she's describing! Yeah for me!
Her methods are all about getting into cleaning routines, having specific things to do on specific days, etc, etc... I think this method could work great for me, but in a few years. I tried the idea of doing things routinely (kind of), but with a 3 year old and a baby, I got interrupted every 3 minutes by something. Then I would have to take them downstairs to feed them breakfast, while I was doing a "routine" upstairs. According the this book, I should not get distracted by doing the laundry downstairs when I am supposed to be doing the bathroom upstairs. However, with young children you are forced to move around the house constantly, and nothing would get done if I didn't allow myself to get "sidetracked" into doing a different job when I end up in a different part of the house with my kids. That's how I see it, at least.
I am a much bigger fan of Don Aslett's style. He is much more ADD. If I end up trapped watching the kids in my 3 year old's room, keeping them from making each other cry, then I'll straighten up his room and put away his laundry and change his sheets, since I am there. This is in spite of the fact that I am in the middle of cleaning the living room downstairs and the vacuum is still out. So maybe someday, when my kids are old enough to play on their own for more than 10 minutes at a time...
March 11, 2016
I am not sorry I read this book, but I doubt I would ever pick it up again, even for reference. No doubt, the Fly Lady has helped thousands of people. I really am glad for them and for her. But. I'm one of the people she calls BOs - born organized. Which is probably why I love organizing books. They appeal to me. Anyway, I kept waiting for new and helpful information. I didn't really find much. That's fine because her system is so helpful for so many other people. What really bugged me was the insider speak. Her silly acronyms drove me nuts. Like these:
DH - dear husband (not so bad)
FLY - finally loving life (how sad that you would have to become organized to love your life)
FLYBABY - people who are new to her "flying" system
And it goes on and on.
And on. Yeesh!
DH - dear husband (not so bad)
FLY - finally loving life (how sad that you would have to become organized to love your life)
FLYBABY - people who are new to her "flying" system
And it goes on and on.
And on. Yeesh!
August 4, 2016
Not that amazing as some people would like you to believe. it feels quite Southern and it has that perfect woman feel over it. A bit Stepford wives. It's also quite old fashioned. All those testimonials from women of whom the husband suddenly was quite interested, because these women started doing the housework 'properly'. Marla also turned a bit nasty when I started the last part of my book. She assumed that all women are the same. They all suffer from perfectionism for example.
May 28, 2009
Just about everything in this book is available on flylady.net I bought the book but had already read most of the info online. I have learned some great things from flylady. My favorite thing is the timer I use because of her.
August 8, 2019
Some good pieces of advice, very dated outlook.
December 10, 2022
She seems like the sweetest lady and there is a ton of encouragement and practical advice for being organized and keeping a clean home. I didn’t like all of the self love talk, or the weak theology BUT I loved that she encourages moms to ditch the martyr mentality and the whining nagging attitudes.
I have no doubt that her methods would result in a clean home! But I’m not sure how well they would work for large homeschooling families. She often says “your house didn’t get dirty overnight, it won’t be clean overnight.” With homeschooling, five kiddos, and a sixth on the way my house gets dirty in ten minutes 😂 but if you struggle with clutter and your home is neglected (not just filled with little tornadoes) I’m sure this would be a life changing routine. I would still love to try it. I plan to read Large Family Logistics and then compare.
I love that she breaks it down into baby steps (something my perfectionist attitude rails against-she caught me there.)
I also appreciated her tips for getting your kiddos involved. And her tips for not nagging your husband/family about messes.
I have no doubt that her methods would result in a clean home! But I’m not sure how well they would work for large homeschooling families. She often says “your house didn’t get dirty overnight, it won’t be clean overnight.” With homeschooling, five kiddos, and a sixth on the way my house gets dirty in ten minutes 😂 but if you struggle with clutter and your home is neglected (not just filled with little tornadoes) I’m sure this would be a life changing routine. I would still love to try it. I plan to read Large Family Logistics and then compare.
I love that she breaks it down into baby steps (something my perfectionist attitude rails against-she caught me there.)
I also appreciated her tips for getting your kiddos involved. And her tips for not nagging your husband/family about messes.
November 22, 2022
This is great if you're looking for a new, sustainable cleaning system for your home. And it's not just about cleaning, it's about getting your ish together in general. Lol I'm thankful that we don't have a lot of clutter to begin with so this would be simpler to dive into. I really liked the weekly home blessing and zone cleaning sections. Excited to start implementing her ideas!
A star off because she talks a lot about loving yourself and that that is essentially going to fix all of your problems. Although, I did appreciate her sentiments about not being a martyr and taking responsibility for the state of your home and life instead of blaming it on your kids or spouse.
A star off because she talks a lot about loving yourself and that that is essentially going to fix all of your problems. Although, I did appreciate her sentiments about not being a martyr and taking responsibility for the state of your home and life instead of blaming it on your kids or spouse.
December 4, 2017
3.5/5
The good
It makes sense, it has great ideas about breaking down the tasks needed to be done and also doesn't in any way expect perfection (like I do myself)
The bad
Its bloody cheesy to the bone. TO THE BONE.
I haven't finished it yet as its non fiction therefore my other interests take priority. Maybe if it wasn't so vomit inducingly cute as times I would get through it faster..
The good
It makes sense, it has great ideas about breaking down the tasks needed to be done and also doesn't in any way expect perfection (like I do myself)
The bad
Its bloody cheesy to the bone. TO THE BONE.
I haven't finished it yet as its non fiction therefore my other interests take priority. Maybe if it wasn't so vomit inducingly cute as times I would get through it faster..
March 1, 2025
This book felt a bit dated and all the exclamations and CAPITAL LETTERS drove me a little crazy but it was a great source of motivation in my ongoing struggles with my house work. Now to see if it lasts 😃
December 30, 2021
I tried the Flylady system several times over the years and always got sidetracked by the website and internet rabbit hole. This simple, straightforward, physical book is full of practical suggestions that will hopefully (for real this time!) help me in my quest in this coming year, to create & live in a reasonably clean home (that I share with my husband, three teenage sons, various pets, extra children who visit...)
Wish me luck!
Wish me luck!
August 14, 2025
Hay veces en las que escarbando en una librería encuentras un libro que no ibas buscando pero si el que necesitabas en ese momento. En un podcast sobre hogar, orden y demás, aconsejaron ciertos libros, y buscándolo encontré este y conocí The Flylady.
Este libro contiene nociones sobre orden, tips y consejos, estrategias para tener el control de la limpieza del hogar y su mantenimiento en el tiempo.
He disfrutado mucho con su lectura y me llevo un montón de ideas prácticas para cada día, semanales y mensuales.
Nunca olvides vestirte, auto-cuidado personal y ponerte tus zapatos antes de empezar tus tareas; y antes de acostarte deja brillante tu fregadero, lo agradecerás a la mañana siguiente.
Este libro contiene nociones sobre orden, tips y consejos, estrategias para tener el control de la limpieza del hogar y su mantenimiento en el tiempo.
He disfrutado mucho con su lectura y me llevo un montón de ideas prácticas para cada día, semanales y mensuales.
Nunca olvides vestirte, auto-cuidado personal y ponerte tus zapatos antes de empezar tus tareas; y antes de acostarte deja brillante tu fregadero, lo agradecerás a la mañana siguiente.
February 23, 2011
There are a lot of things I could quibble about, but overall, I really liked this book and found it helpful. It's a book about housework and if you can't understand why anyone would write or read a book about housework, this book isn't for you. The book is aimed at the distracted, disorganized, I-don't-even-know-where-to-start kind of person.
The author uses her Internet persona of the FlyLady throughout the book, which lets you know from the start that this is a less formal book than you may be used to reading. The book is filled with testimonials from her online support group where members have taken to calling themselves FlyBabies. It's a bit cheesy, but also sweet.
I would recommend this to anyone who has (or suspects they have) Attention Deficit Disorder that may be affecting their ability to stay on task. She never mentions the disorder by name, but she clearly describes a lot of the symptoms and her organizational methods are clearly aimed at helping people who have trouble staying focusing on what needs to be done.
There are times where the author orders the "dear reader" around in a slightly condescending way, but there's something about that little cartoon FlyLady that makes it feel okay. It's like your Aunt Mildred is ordering you around and that just seems natural. Near the beginning she tells the reader to check the clock and if it's after 11pm to go to bed as soon as you finish the paragraph because your sleep is important. The first order of business (and the source of the book's title) is to shine your sink. She breaks this down to simple steps that not only include emptying the sink, but explaining how to empty the sink. "Put the dishes on the floor if you have to." To someone who is spinning around in the chaos of not even knowing where to begin, having things broken out into such baby steps is very helpful. I did not take her advice all the way to the extreme of literally polishing the sink until it shined, but I nonetheless took home the message that you can't even begin cleaning the kitchen until the sink is clean. (Dirty dishes go next to the sink, but never in the sink until you are washing them. That way you never create the kitchen traffic jam caused by an unusable sink.)
Now for the quibbles. The author acknowledges that there might be men reading the book by occasionally referencing "your husbands (or wives)" but for the most part there is a pervasive assumption that women are the ones responsible for housework and cooking. Likely because it started as an Internet group, the author likes to use acronyms a lot and one of them is SHE (for Sidetracked Home Executive, based on the book of the same name whose authors, Pam Young and Peggy Jones, she credits often). This further emphasizes that the SHE is the one in the house who is responsible for the housework. I found it a little bothersome as I can think of at least one guy I would otherwise like to recommend this book to and I just don't think he'd get beyond the pink cover and certainly not beyond the first time he's referred to as a SHE.
UPDATE: I've actually tried some of the cheesy suggestions and once I work through my resistance to trying something that seems so silly, they really are quite helpful. A little credit is due to the artist who drew that cartoon that appears throughout the book (not just the cover). You can just picture that little cartoon character cheering you on and in my mind she's always waving a magic wand instead of a fly-rod.
The author uses her Internet persona of the FlyLady throughout the book, which lets you know from the start that this is a less formal book than you may be used to reading. The book is filled with testimonials from her online support group where members have taken to calling themselves FlyBabies. It's a bit cheesy, but also sweet.
I would recommend this to anyone who has (or suspects they have) Attention Deficit Disorder that may be affecting their ability to stay on task. She never mentions the disorder by name, but she clearly describes a lot of the symptoms and her organizational methods are clearly aimed at helping people who have trouble staying focusing on what needs to be done.
There are times where the author orders the "dear reader" around in a slightly condescending way, but there's something about that little cartoon FlyLady that makes it feel okay. It's like your Aunt Mildred is ordering you around and that just seems natural. Near the beginning she tells the reader to check the clock and if it's after 11pm to go to bed as soon as you finish the paragraph because your sleep is important. The first order of business (and the source of the book's title) is to shine your sink. She breaks this down to simple steps that not only include emptying the sink, but explaining how to empty the sink. "Put the dishes on the floor if you have to." To someone who is spinning around in the chaos of not even knowing where to begin, having things broken out into such baby steps is very helpful. I did not take her advice all the way to the extreme of literally polishing the sink until it shined, but I nonetheless took home the message that you can't even begin cleaning the kitchen until the sink is clean. (Dirty dishes go next to the sink, but never in the sink until you are washing them. That way you never create the kitchen traffic jam caused by an unusable sink.)
Now for the quibbles. The author acknowledges that there might be men reading the book by occasionally referencing "your husbands (or wives)" but for the most part there is a pervasive assumption that women are the ones responsible for housework and cooking. Likely because it started as an Internet group, the author likes to use acronyms a lot and one of them is SHE (for Sidetracked Home Executive, based on the book of the same name whose authors, Pam Young and Peggy Jones, she credits often). This further emphasizes that the SHE is the one in the house who is responsible for the housework. I found it a little bothersome as I can think of at least one guy I would otherwise like to recommend this book to and I just don't think he'd get beyond the pink cover and certainly not beyond the first time he's referred to as a SHE.
UPDATE: I've actually tried some of the cheesy suggestions and once I work through my resistance to trying something that seems so silly, they really are quite helpful. A little credit is due to the artist who drew that cartoon that appears throughout the book (not just the cover). You can just picture that little cartoon character cheering you on and in my mind she's always waving a magic wand instead of a fly-rod.
February 4, 2017
I feel like I learned a lot from this book but most of it had to do with my attitude, my thinking and the importance of loving myself. It was nice to have an author who sympathized with me and really understood me.
Where the book lost me was in the execution. I didn't feel like things were thoroughly explained. In some instances I fell like the cart was put before the horse. She will be mention something that she hasn't gone over yet and it makes it a tad bit confusing in the moment. Perhaps this book is for those who re familiar with her program. I am not so I thought the book would be the place to start.
The book also seems to be geared towards moms of small or younger children. This wasn't applicable to me as my sons are young men. I would have loved some insight on high school age kids and getting them involved.
Also, as a person recovering from codependency I appreciated how she covered some of the tendencies or a lot of the tendencies I struggle with and addressed ways to overcome my hang ups and coping skills. I am really encouraged that it is all about taking responsibility for your attitude and emotions etc. this is right in line with my recovery journey.
However, one key component in codependency recovery is establishing healthy boundaries. To tell the reader that we have to lead by example and hopefully your family follows your lead is not a great message. I know my situation is not typical and she is writing to a larger audience with whom this theory would work naturally. There are others in my boat, who could literally kill themselves to have a well kept home and have husbands who could not care less and totally thrash whatever you have accomplished. This sends the wrong message in my opinion. It is a dangerous message for someone in an unhealthy relationship. It puts the pressure back onto being enough and hopefully they will come around. If they don't come around then you stuck either feeling that you aren't a good enough example or you are burdened cleaning up after everyone with a smile and a good attitude. This is why I am in the boat I am in. The burden of being responsible for every mess and for organizing and caring for everyone else's stuff got too overwhelming and I burned out. You can't change people or their actions I totally get this but to make the reader feel as though if you want a clean home it is 100% your responsibility is not right. It is also not Biblical. I have no issues being the homemaker in my home and handling the majority of the housework and loved what I learned from that aspect. However I do think there should be some mention of setting healthy boundaries with your family as that is a crucial aspect of living yourself.
Where the book lost me was in the execution. I didn't feel like things were thoroughly explained. In some instances I fell like the cart was put before the horse. She will be mention something that she hasn't gone over yet and it makes it a tad bit confusing in the moment. Perhaps this book is for those who re familiar with her program. I am not so I thought the book would be the place to start.
The book also seems to be geared towards moms of small or younger children. This wasn't applicable to me as my sons are young men. I would have loved some insight on high school age kids and getting them involved.
Also, as a person recovering from codependency I appreciated how she covered some of the tendencies or a lot of the tendencies I struggle with and addressed ways to overcome my hang ups and coping skills. I am really encouraged that it is all about taking responsibility for your attitude and emotions etc. this is right in line with my recovery journey.
However, one key component in codependency recovery is establishing healthy boundaries. To tell the reader that we have to lead by example and hopefully your family follows your lead is not a great message. I know my situation is not typical and she is writing to a larger audience with whom this theory would work naturally. There are others in my boat, who could literally kill themselves to have a well kept home and have husbands who could not care less and totally thrash whatever you have accomplished. This sends the wrong message in my opinion. It is a dangerous message for someone in an unhealthy relationship. It puts the pressure back onto being enough and hopefully they will come around. If they don't come around then you stuck either feeling that you aren't a good enough example or you are burdened cleaning up after everyone with a smile and a good attitude. This is why I am in the boat I am in. The burden of being responsible for every mess and for organizing and caring for everyone else's stuff got too overwhelming and I burned out. You can't change people or their actions I totally get this but to make the reader feel as though if you want a clean home it is 100% your responsibility is not right. It is also not Biblical. I have no issues being the homemaker in my home and handling the majority of the housework and loved what I learned from that aspect. However I do think there should be some mention of setting healthy boundaries with your family as that is a crucial aspect of living yourself.
October 11, 2017
Certainly not for me, I'm not even sure why I bothered reading it to the end. I guess it does not mean it's a bad book, I'm just not the target audience at all.
I would love to improve my housemaking, but my home is not extremely messy, I'm not drowning in clutter and my clothes are usually clean and folded in my wardrobe. I don't need to make up excuses to not invite someone at home, nor I am embarrased of its cleanliness. In short: I'm not desperated.
It's hard for me to imagine the life this FlyLady describes, but considering the number of followers she has I assume there are plenty of people with all those problems - people who do need some guidance because once you get into vicious circles it is so damn hard to get out of them.
But I'm a working mom living a rented apartment, who is used to keep clutter to a minimum because she has always been on the move, so I've never got into such a trouble.
I thought I could pick up a tip or two, you often do even in those books which do not fit you, but this was not the case.
Either they are extremely basic (routines! that's a good advice) or I can't get myself to like them.
So, do you really believe that a shiny sink makes such a difference? Oh, well, if you usually have a ton of dirty dishes there I guess that seeing an empty clean sink for once in your life will make you happy, but that's pretty much it. I would say that clean tidy countertops are way more important - they are the ones that welcome you to cook a good homemade meal, to bring life to your kitchen and your home.
And what about wearing shoes all the time? Really? Coziness is so underrated. Getting into comfy clothes and slippers makes such a big difference in my mood. Not taking care of yourself is one thing and wearing comfortable clothes is a different one.
Probably the cherry of the cake was the suggestion that you ought to do everything happily and expect to set an example in your family. Which sounds ok in theory but if your family has always lived in a messy home and never bothered, you'll be lucky if they appreciate the work you are doing - but seems unluckily they'll start cleaning after you.
That about the content. The format was neither to my taste.
Half the book are testimonials, which made me feel the author is trying to sell me this method - instead of actually explaining it to me.
Also the cutesy terms and silly acronyms were quite annoying, and the whole been-there-done-that attitude ends up looking like mere patronizing.
So not for me at all. Maybe Ms. Flylady would consider me a "born-organized" kind of person. That would be a good joke!
I would love to improve my housemaking, but my home is not extremely messy, I'm not drowning in clutter and my clothes are usually clean and folded in my wardrobe. I don't need to make up excuses to not invite someone at home, nor I am embarrased of its cleanliness. In short: I'm not desperated.
It's hard for me to imagine the life this FlyLady describes, but considering the number of followers she has I assume there are plenty of people with all those problems - people who do need some guidance because once you get into vicious circles it is so damn hard to get out of them.
But I'm a working mom living a rented apartment, who is used to keep clutter to a minimum because she has always been on the move, so I've never got into such a trouble.
I thought I could pick up a tip or two, you often do even in those books which do not fit you, but this was not the case.
Either they are extremely basic (routines! that's a good advice) or I can't get myself to like them.
So, do you really believe that a shiny sink makes such a difference? Oh, well, if you usually have a ton of dirty dishes there I guess that seeing an empty clean sink for once in your life will make you happy, but that's pretty much it. I would say that clean tidy countertops are way more important - they are the ones that welcome you to cook a good homemade meal, to bring life to your kitchen and your home.
And what about wearing shoes all the time? Really? Coziness is so underrated. Getting into comfy clothes and slippers makes such a big difference in my mood. Not taking care of yourself is one thing and wearing comfortable clothes is a different one.
Probably the cherry of the cake was the suggestion that you ought to do everything happily and expect to set an example in your family. Which sounds ok in theory but if your family has always lived in a messy home and never bothered, you'll be lucky if they appreciate the work you are doing - but seems unluckily they'll start cleaning after you.
That about the content. The format was neither to my taste.
Half the book are testimonials, which made me feel the author is trying to sell me this method - instead of actually explaining it to me.
Also the cutesy terms and silly acronyms were quite annoying, and the whole been-there-done-that attitude ends up looking like mere patronizing.
So not for me at all. Maybe Ms. Flylady would consider me a "born-organized" kind of person. That would be a good joke!
February 12, 2010
I've been following Flylady loosely since 2000 with her Fly Lady Mentors group. I think the website does a better job of explaining what to do and the list emails are more inspiring but this book is a nice complement to her organizational system. I think this book would be good too even if you had no idea who Flylady was and just needed to get organized. My house has way too much clutter and I definitely come from a long line of pack rats. I'm already seeing improvement in the cleanliness of my house and am going to start on the clutter soon. I think this book would have been equally effective for me without the references to God and it didn't really answer all my organizational questions so that's why I gave it 4 stars. I definitely would recommend this book to anyone who has too much clutter and can't seem to throw things away.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 648 reviews