Be My Downfall

Whitman University #3

by Lyla Payne

Toby Wright has always prided himself on being one of the most normal guys at Whitman University. He loves his parents, has a great job lined up after graduation, and with the exception of attempting to cross the unbalanced Sebastian Blair sophomore year, has kept his nose pretty clean.

But the rich never have empty closets, and memories long stashed away come spilling free when notorious party girl Kennedy Gilbert almost dies in his dorm room.

Nobody really knows how Kennedy manages to stay in good standing at Whitman–she never goes to class, doesn’t pretend to care about her future, and as far as people can tell, is never sober. This isn’t her first meeting with a stomach pump, but it is the first time she’s woken up to Toby’s concerned brown eyes. Despite the fact that she prefers life without friends, he gets under her skin with his insistence on playing her guardian angel.

No one knows better than Toby that people can only be saved if they want to be, but the realization that she has no one else draws him back into the shadows of Kennedy’s life–and eventually into her bed. But she long ago came to terms with a truth that Toby refuses to accept: she doesn’t want to be rescued, she only wants to forget.

Unwilling to give up on her, Toby’s dragged under by this broken girl and her dark, twisted Whitman University he never guessed existed. If he struggles to the surface, he’ll abandon someone he loves for the second time in his life. If he doesn’t, it won’t be long until they both drown.

Genres: New Adult, Romance, College, Contemporary Romance, Contemporary, College Romance, Abuse

308 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 2013

About the author

I've been publishing New Adult romance novels for a little over a year, starting with Broken at Love and continuing with the rest of the Whitman University series. I adore telling stories, discovering the little reasons people fall in love, and uncovering hidden truths in the world around us – past and present.

In my spare time I cuddle my two dogs, pretend to enjoy exercising so that I can eat as much Chipotle as I want, and harbor a deep and abiding hope that Zac Efron likes older women. I loves reading, of course, along with movies, traveling, and Irish whiskey.

I'm hard at work, ALWAYS, and hope to bring you more Whitman University antics and at least one more Lowcountry ghost tale before the end of the year.

If you want to know more, please visit me at http://lylapayne.com

If you’re a fan of Young Adult fiction—science fiction or otherwise—please check out my work that’s published under the name Trisha Leigh. http://trishaleigh.com


I'm represented by Kathleen Rushall at Marsal Lyon Literary Agency.

Reviews

[Jaime Arkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

She’s going to fucking obliterate me, isn’t she?” – Toby Wright
 
So if you had asked me who the heck Toby at Whitman University was a couple weeks ago I’d have said “Toby who? I know Quinn and I for sure know Cole… but I didn’t remember Toby.” After reading Be My Downfall, I’m pretty sure I’ll never forget who he is. Since I couldn’t remember Toby, I’m going to remind you – he’s friends with Emilie and was the one that set her up with Sebastian their Sophomore year. Now you know who I’m talking about right!? He wasn't entirely memorable in that book, but he definitely has my attention now.
 
Be My Downfall is book 3 in the Whitman University series by Lyla Payne, and she is basically one of the reasons I still read New Adult.
 
Toby has always considered himself one of the more normal kids at Whitman… with a father in politics he’s had to be pretty careful of relationships, always keeping people at arms distance. He’s messed around with girls, but no serious relationships and friends are always a bit on the superficial level. But that’s okay because he’s got his life planned and he doesn’t need anything that will cause any unwanted attention or questions.
 
Like the questions someone might ask about his brother. On the outside Toby’s family seems like there can’t possibly be any skeletons in their closets. But that’s pretty far from the truth.
 
When Toby meets the notorious Kennedy Gilbert feelings and memories he had buried away rise to the surface and despite his knowing better, he can’t help but be drawn to her. While he wants to help her and take care of her, he has learned the hard way that he can’t make the changes for her.
 
Kennedy Gilbert… she’s the campus drunk – never sober and always with a different guy. She doesn’t have friends and she doesn’t seem to care about anything. She has her reasons, but when Toby gets under her skin will she realize that there is something better out there for her?
 
"It’s not okay to feel good,” she mumbled.I buried my face in her hair, breathing deep and pulling her tighter against me.
 
“Why not?”
 
“Because they can’t feel anything.”Her breathing evened out over the next several minutes while my throat burned and I held onto her, hoping that somehow she would feel that I cared, and that she deserved more.
 
The tragedy that Kennedy has experienced in her life really sheds light on her outlook on life, and I worried that we would read about how Toby just wanted to save her, but Payne doesn’t do that here. Toby’s history makes him smarter… he knows he can’t save her if she doesn’t want to be.
 
It was wonderful to see their relationship develop over the time they spent together and into something more than the superficial hook up that it started as. The way they interacted together gave me hope, but there was always that underlying layer of will she or won’t she make the change.I have to say that I think Kennedy might actually be my favorite heroine that Payne has created of the characters at Whitman. She is so broken and hurt and she has no one to lean on and that made me want to just pull her in and hug her even though she most likely wouldn’t have let me.
 
And Toby… he’s not this in your face sexy guy, but he’s definitely got it.
 
“If you want me to remember it, sober or not, you’d better bring you’re a-game,” she murmured, eyes lingering on my mouth.
 
I tightened my grip on her waist. “I don’t have any other kind.”
 
These two together were explosive and Payne, as usual, can write some amazing citrus. But what I really loved were the interactions between the two… the build of the friendship, because what Kennedy needed even more than a boyfriend was a friend, and that’s what Toby was for her.
 
I really loved the flashes told to us readers about ‘the girl’… the girl who used to be Kennedy. It offered us a bit of insight into her life before the accident and after… a bit of her internal thoughts to help us make sense of how she got to where she was when we meet her.
 
Once again, Payne has pulled me into the lives of these college students, making me feel every twist and turn as she goes. I was afraid that I was going to be overwhelmed with the heaviness of this book, but of course that wasn't the case. Payne weaves in moments of lightheartedness… things that will make you laugh and smile while still keeping the tone of the story. She’ll make you fall in love with these characters and you’ll be completely okay with that.
 
Be My Downfall addresses a lot of things, guilt, sadness, despair and trying to cope with loss… but the biggest one for me was the Toby’s realization that you have to trust someone to learn to take care of themselves. Knowing you can’t be the reason someone changes the bad things in their lives is a tough lesson to take and it’s painful and I hurt for both Toby and Kennedy as I took this ride with them.
 
I’m so incredibly excited for more in the Whitman University series… and call me crazy but I’m still intrigued by Sebastian… I want someone to come and just put him in his place... I'll be waiting over here Ms. Payne!
 
Thank you to the author for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Please note that any quotes used were taken from an advance copy and may change in the final version.This review can be found on my blog, Fic Fare.

[Lyla Payne]

Good morning, lovely book lovers!

Just a quick note to let you know that BE MY DOWNFALL is ON SALE on all platforms for just a couple of days - call it a Halloween celebration!!

Happy reading!! #goowls

Lyla
----
Hey readers! Just a quick note to let you know that BE MY DOWNFALL is available on 3 out of the 4 platforms (iTunes marches to the beat of their own drum, you know). Links are below.

As ever, I appreciate your support and your passion for books. A story is never complete until its in your hands, and as I am particularly attached to this one, I hope you love Toby and Kennedy as much as I do. But even if you don't, I still thank you for taking the time to give them a chance.

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/be-my...

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Be-Downfall-Whi...

Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/eboo...

iTunes:

Happy Reading!
Lyla Payne

[Alessandra Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely gorgeous, heartbreaking story. Lyla has a way of making her readers care deeply about her characters at the same time that she makes us doubt a happily-ever-after us even possible - the combination of which makes us care about the hero and heroine desperately. Told in the voice of the deeply wounded Toby, Be My Downfall tugs us along on a journey that will likely break his heart into even smaller pieces - trying to love Kennedy. This book expertly weaves pitch-perfect college experience, true-to-life scenes of grieving and addiction, and the steamiest romance you could ever hope for. I think this is Lyla's best yet. Highly recommended.

[Laci · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've enjoy this series so much. I absolutely love the way her books flow and I think people should definitely give this author a try.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yes, I read another one of Lyla Payne's books. Why? I don't know. I guess because I needed something mindless and trashy to read to decompress from school. Weirdly enough, my review of her first book totally works for this one too...

"We all know you can't change people, right? No matter how much you love someone, you can't change them. Especially when they're selfish irreparably broken assholes who do nothing but hurt you over and over yet still feel they have some sort of power over you and you swear if you could just get them to admit their feelings everything could be good and right and wonderful because you think the sex is really good and that means you are meant to be together.

No. It's going going to happen. Stop trying to make it happen. This is why I can't read romance novels. I really want to give this one star, but I'm not going to, because that's a bit harsh. I'm sure Lyla Payne is a lovely person, but I just can't get behind this book and its awful characters and ridiculous story."

Am I going to read the last two books in the Whitman series? Ugh, probably. I have a problem.

[Tamsyn Bester · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read ‘Broken at Love’, I fell in love with Emilie and Quinn… when I read ‘By Referral Only’, I fell in love with Ruby and Cole… But when I read ‘Be My Downfall”, I became obsessed and consumed with Toby and Kennedy… Their story was so heart-breaking, that rooting for them to come out of all their trials together becomes a necessity.
Toby Wright is a good guy. He has good grades, he never gets into trouble and he has the respect of his fellow frat brothers. But being the son of a Senator comes with certain expectations, and putting a foot out of place just isn’t an option.
Kennedy Gilbert is known as Whitman’s party girl. Her reputation is far from stellar and she hides behind alcohol, rough sex and her desire to forget the painful memories that make her feel guilty for being alive.
Toby has heard the rumours about Kennedy, but has kept his distance because the last thing his family needs is a public scandal – but one night with Kennedy has him wondering how much more there is to her than what he can visibly see. He finds himself caring about the one girl who could be his downfall. He discovered a side to her that most guys at Whitman had seen, but he also discovered that there is more to her story.
“But even I, with my limited experience, realized that not being able to feel anything except pain meant Kennedy Gilbert might be a bigger mess than anyone – including me – had guessed.”
Without realizing it, he started to care about her, yet he still kept a safe distance…
“I didn’t embrace her – for some reason it mattered to me that she stand there on her own two feet. It was how she’d survived all these years, on her own, and Kennedy was strong. She could learn to keep moving forward and face what lay behind her. I was here, touching her, nearby if she needed to lean on me, but I couldn’t be a crutch.”
Kennedy and Toby have intense chemistry, but they also share a secret that connects them in a way they didn’t expect. Toby is hiding something, and on some level Kennedy can feel it, but it’s what they don’t know about each other that ends up keeping them together. Kennedy is fighting a haunting past and finds an unlikely savior in Toby when the last thing she wants is to be saved.
“Don’t give up. It’s harder for you than most, I get it. I gate it, but I get it. All we can do is keep trying. I will if you will.” – Toby
When Kennedy and Toby unknowingly find themselves walking the same path, even if for different reasons, they struggle to ignore the unspoken connection they feel, the invisible pull between them that leaves them both vulnerable to each other.
“She kissed me the way she had the night we fought, with a deliberate pace. Our mouths and lips and tongues held an unhurried conversation while we braced against the wall in the airplane bathroom, her wrapped around me. I thought again that coming home was the best way to describe it. As though when any part of our bodies met, it was like going somewhere you hadn’t been in years, but immediately feeling as though you belonged.”
But nothing lasts forever, and Toby inevitably finds himself caught up in a past Kennedy refuses to let go, and a lifestyle she refuses to change. In the end, she was his downfall, but he was also hers – she had to make a choice, and this time the idea of being without Toby was an alternative she was unwilling to consider.
I’m a huge fan of Lyla Payne’s work, and as I said earlier, I loved the first 2 books in her Whitman University series – but there was something intense and addictive about Toby and Kennedy’s story. It was so much darker, and a little more alluring, with some major sexual tension and chemistry. Kennedy is such a lost soul and the way Toby feels for her leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy, but also terrified because the outcome of their relationship is unpredictable at best. I loved reading this from Toby’s story, especially because writing from a male’s P.O.V can be challenging, and I loved being inside he’s head. I would’ve liked one scene from Kennedy’s P.O.V, simply because I think it would’ve been interesting to hear her thoughts. Having said that, Lyla outdid herself with this one and earned 5 big “Kennedy & Toby Together Forever” stars from me!

[Yvette ~ Nose Stuck in a Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

Be My Downfall is the third book in the Whitman University series and it is by far my favorite of the three for many reasons. As much as I loved getting to know the protagonists from the previous books, I formed an instant connection with Toby and Kennedy, almost as if I knew at first glance that theirs would be an unforgettable and compelling love story. These two individuals are lost and broken as a result of unfortunate circumstances and somehow manage to ease their pain by finding comfort in each other's arms. Their combined anguish is so consuming that it's nearly tangible, seeping through the pages of the story in never-ending waves of heartache.

The Whitman University series isn't one to shy away from serious issues, and Be My Downfall is especially poignant for its frank dealings with substance abuse. Whether it is through personal experience or by extension, Toby and Kennedy are familiar with the dark side of addiction. Instead of facing their demons, both Toby and Kennedy practice their respective methods of avoidance, although Kennedy's self-destructive tendencies build an invisible wall between them for much of the story.

The majority of the narrative is told through Toby's perspective with the addition of diary-like entries from Kennedy at the start of each chapter. These entries are written as though Kennedy was telling her life's story but has become so disconnected with her life that she seems to be talking about another person - one who is able to reveal the deepest and darkest secrets she makes a point to conceal in reality. Kennedy is very matter-of-fact in her personal assessments, and even though her narrative input is minor compared to Toby's, her character has just as much, if not more, emotional impact on me as a reader. These brief yet powerful insights into Kennedy's mind reveal all the heartbreaking details of her past and provide necessary background information as to her current state of mind.

Before this book, I didn't really give much thought to Toby, dismissing him early in the series after his unsavory role in the Quinn fiasco. I was surprised by the strength of my attachment to his character, because I felt as though I bonded with him more than with Kennedy, which probably has something to do with the fact that this is the first book in the series largely told through the male protagonist's point-of-view. It was captivating to learn more about the vulnerable and conflicted man behind the polished facade of a wealthy senator's son. In terms of his feelings, Toby is an open book, whereas Kennedy always kept me guessing. At first glance they appear to be polar opposites but it’s their fundamental similarities that make them such an interesting couple to get to know.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I must admit, Toby was not my favorite person when I read Broken At Love. In fact, I wasn't so sure that I'd like this installment of the Whitman series as much as the first two because I didn't know if I could forgive him for being such a D-bag. Then I read Be My Downfall and I was completely blown away by him.

Toby tries hard to keep his nose clean at Whitman because of his dad's political prominence. Part of that includes keeping the secret of his brother's descent into drug addiction, something that still causes Toby to feel guilty and abandoned. Then Kennedy drops into his life. She's a consistently wasted party girl, but Toby sees something deeper in her, a broken girl still tortured by the death of her parents and little brother.

Toby is just amazing and a great choice for narrator of this story. His voice has the perfect amount of emotional depth tinged with the college guy humor and vernacular. He's emotionally vulnerable without being overly sappy, making him a good match for Kennedy.

Kennedy is just broken. There's really no other way to put it. Numb to the world, she learned from an early age that drinking herself into oblivion and having rough sex is the only way she can feel. She's not anywhere close to perfect and she's not even sure she wants to change.

The relationship that develops between the two of them is an emotional roller coaster ride. There is a lot of back and forth, but it's not based on angst and silly misunderstandings. Kennedy is dealing with recovery on top of learning to trust Toby and Toby is learning to accept her choices without blaming Kennedy for being unable to get better. The author describes the cycle of addition and its effects on friends and family members with painful detail and she manages to convey a realistic, yet hopeful, message about recovery. I very highly recommend this book.

**I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I liked Cole in the second book..but after reading the third book, I liked Toby even better. I'd always wondered about the Toby character in the first book so I was glad when I learned that the third novel was his story.

Of the three books, this one's probably the darkest and it's definitely heaviest on drama. I mean, a twisted ex-pro tennis player and actress wannabe who came from new money versus drug addiction, alcohol problems, dealing with death and living the life of a politician's son. There's just too many issues in this book but I was glad things worked out in the end. It would've been more fun if Trent had somehow appeared somewhere but.. You can't always get what you want, right?

Reading the story from Toby's point of view was a welcome change. I mean, getting in a good guy's brain was nice..different even.
I guess one reason I liked Toby was because I can read his mind and just...i don't know, whatever!

I'm curious about the next book though. Would it be Blair's story? Maybe Sebastian's! Hmmm...

[Alexa L · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, it took me a couple days to process the epicness that was this book before I could review it. If you only get one thing out of this review it should be that you should buy this book NOW. I cannot believe how absolutely amazing it was. Such a beautifully written novel and so well done I could gush about it for hours. I felt like not only was I reading an incredibly sexy romance NA, but I was getting something out of it. The emotions ran so deep, and trust me the other scenes didn't get glossed over. Every inch of this book seeped with gorgeous language and insanely well thought out plot. I can't remember the last time I was so absorbed in a story that there was no question I wasn't going to be able to put it down. I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone looking for a great read, TOTALLY WORTH EVERY MINUTE!

[Stormy Udell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best Whitman University book yet! Be My Downfall is the first book that I've read primarly from a man's point of view and it was beautiful. Toby's heartache was my heartache. Toby's fear for Kennedy was my fear. Toby's love was my love. The story dove into some really tough topics for me and was done with such a truth, that it sucked me deeper than I could have thought. Love doesn't cure all things but it can make us want more for ourselves. Toby's growth in figuring out how to love someone through their pain and selflessly is inspiring. At times Kennedy seemed like a lost cause, but the same moments that gave Toby faith, gave me faith. It makes you root for both characters and gives hope and light in the dark, deamon riddled world of addiction. Now...is there a 12 step program for getting over Lyla's writting - becuase I'm hooked?

[Denise Grover Swank · Rating 5 out of 5]

Be My Downfall is about broken people--both those you can easily see are broken and others who hide it well.
Toby isn't looking for love when he meets Kennedy, yet he's intrigued. But the closer he gets to her, it becomes obvious that Kennedy has issues larger than he's capable of fixing.
Kennedy could easily have come across as an unsympathetic character but Lyla slips in scenes that show a vulnerable and broken girl you just want to pull into a hug and say, "It's going to be okay."
While the tone of the book could have been heavy, there are lighter moments that show the another dimension to the characters and make you love even more.
Be My Downfall is a beautiful story of guilt and forgiveness, hope and despair, and love and support. Sometimes love isn't about control, it's about believing in someone enough to give them the keys to their own destiny.

[mer · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

This book was heavy. Quite emotional at that. A part of me died reading this book. I was close to cry but I didn't because I'm that strong. Although in my heart, I wept.

I must say, this one's the best in the series so far. I liked the characters. The connection I had with them was fantastic. I liked the story. It's a kind of story that I will remember for a long time. The fact that it's from a guy's point of view only made this book's awesome. The writing, it was superb!

High recommended but be warned, guard your heart.

[Anncleire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blog Tour on my blog September 23th
Review + Giveaway
http://pleaseanotherbook.tumblr.com/p...


Book Launch on my blog September 24th





“Be my downfall” è il terzo libro della serie “Withman University” dell’incredibilmente talentuosa Lyla Payne. Mi sono innamorata dello stile della Payne dal volume precedente, “By Referral only” e quando dopo il cover reveal, si è presentata l’opportunità di partecipare al Blog Tour non ho proprio potuto dire di no. E sono molto fortunata a collaborare con InkSlinger PR che riesce sempre a regalarmi fantastiche opportunità. Da book blogger, e soprattutto da italiana, non è molto facile riuscire a partecipare ad iniziative di tale prestigio. Soprattutto se consideriamo il livello di successo raggiunto dalla Payne. E ringrazio per avere l’opportunità di scoprire autori meravigliosi e storie incredibili, come questa. Perché vi assicuro che è assolutamente meravigliosa.


Toby Wright è sempre stato orgoglioso del fatto di essere uno dei ragazzi più normali alla Whitman University. Ama i suoi genitori, ha un grande lavoro già pronto dopo la laurea e con l’eccezione di aver cercato di attraversare il passo dell’instabile Sebastian Blair durante il suo sophomore year, si è tenuto abbastanza pulito. Ma i ricchi non hanno mai armadi vuoti, e ricordi da lungo tempo dimenticate riemergono quando la famosa ragazza tutta feste Kennedy Gilbert quasi muore nel suo bagno.
Nessuno sa come Kennedy sia riuscita a stare nelle grazie della Whitman – non è mai andata a lezione, non ha mai preteso di interessarsi del suo futuro e per quanto le persone possano dire non è mai sobria. Questo non è il suo primo incontro con una lavanda gastrica, ma è la prima volta che si sveglia sotto gli occhi castani e preoccupati di Toby. Nonostante il fatto che preferisca avere una vita senza amici, lui l’attrae con la sua insistenza nell’essere il suo angelo custode. Nessuno sa meglio di Toby che le persone possono essere salvate solo se lo vogliono, ma la realizzazione che lei non ha nessuno lo attira nell’ombra della vita di Kennedy – e alla fine nel suo letto. Ma lei è venuta a patti tanto tempo fa con la verità che Toby si rifiuta di accettare: lei non vuole essere salvata, lei vuole solo dimenticare. Non volendo abbandonarla, Toby viene trascinato sotto dalla ragazza spezzata e il suo passato oscuro che nessuno alla Whitman avrebbe mai potuto immaginare. Se lotta per risalire in superfice, abbandonerà una persona che ama per la seconda volta nella sua vita. Se non lo fa, non passerà molto che entrambi annegheranno.


Questo libro potrebbe sembrare in apparenza la “solita romance” con un po’ di complicazioni qua e là e problemi più grandi dei protagonisti. Devo però dissuadervi da questa idea. Nella storia la romance è un di più, un’aggiunta ad un viaggio di crescita e trasformazione che investe sia Toby che Kennedy. E se la ragazza naturalmente vive quello più vistoso, quello che si presenta davanti agli occhi del lettore in maniera cristallina, anche Toby lo affronta e in qualche modo ne esce vincente. Perché anche chi rimane, anche chi non vive il terribile vuoto che può investire l’anima in prima persona, di certo anche lui vive dei problemi, vive un disagio emozionale.
Ed è proprio Toby che racconta la sua storia in prima persona e io adoro i pov maschili e sono molto contenta di poter affermare che la Payne ha creato un personaggio maschile verosimile, si legge e si crede davvero di essere nella testa di un uomo. A volte, in casi come questi, dove la storia è controbilanciata solo in parte da un pov femminile, c’è il rischio di essere risucchiati in un racconto falsato, di quelli che creano maschi troppo femminili, a volte infatti si pensa che basta aggiungere parolacce qua e là e continui riferimenti all’inquilino dei piani bassi per avere un personaggio maschile decente. Non è vero, un uomo del resto è di più, anche se il 75% del tempo pensa al sesso. Toby è più di questo. Toby è un ragazzo che ama la propria famiglia, che ha un segreto da proteggere e costo di tutto e l’inclinazione a vivere in maniera solitaria, senza amici veri e soprattutto senza una fidanzata. Perché in fondo c’è tempo e deve concentrarsi sulla sua carriera universitaria e non. Uno studente di cinema, cerca di entrare nel mondo della produzione, il lato economico e più redditizio del mondo Hollywoodiano, salvo poi ritrovarsi a scrivere copioni che specchiano la sua storia emozionale e la perdita che lo segna da anni. Sembra amichevole e aperto con tutti, gira sempre nel solito giro (Quinn e Em del primo libro, Blair, Ryby e Cole del secondo libro e Aubrie, Sebastian e Sam) salvo poi ritrovarsi da solo nella sua stanza nel basamento della confraternita di cui fa parte. Apprezzato dalle ragazze per il suo fisico scolpito e la sua aria da bravo ragazzo non ha mai vissuto più di un flirt e si ritrova a contemplare la possibilità di un qualcosa di più, appena conosce meglio Kennedy. È davvero molto strano come funziona la mente umana e le relazioni, gli scoppi di innamoramento improvvisi, quella sensazione del “I think that I’m falling in love with you” (penso che mi sto innamorando di te) che per gli inglesi, così come è costruita la frase è una sensazione tutta diversa, perché quel sentimento si condivide con l’atra persona, è un unione e non investe solo te, ma il legame che c’è tra due esseri umani. E Toby sembra racchiudere tutto quello che c’è di speciale in questa questione delicata, questa questione che coinvolge la persona a tutti i livelli. Ma soprattutto deve fare i conti con il suo senso di colpa e quello che lui reputa un fallimento, fallimento che si consuma sulla pelle di qualcun altro.
Kennedy, che ci appare solo in forma riflessa ma che in definitiva è un catalizzatore e un focus importante nella storia, è uno di quei personaggi che inizialmente si odiano e poi si finiscono per amare nel loro essere assolutamente stupefacenti. Perché complicata, incredibilmente sexy, una che vive di alcool e parties, salvo poi scoprire le sue carte, il suo passato, i sentimenti sconvolgenti con cui ha a che fare ogni giorno. Tutte le sue conoscenze inculcate da anni di vita vissuta con la nonna, con un dolore e un lutto che non sono semplici da gestire, con la realizzazione che sono passati sei anni e non è cambiato niente e anzi tutto si è complicato. Conoscere Toby è il trigger giusto per cambiare prospettiva e affrontare al meglio quello che le aspetta. Tra balli formali, gite in Svizzera e partite di tennis sia Toby che Kennedy devono capire se ne vale la pena, a prescindere dalla persona che amano. Lui per superare l’istinto da cavaliere con l’armatura scintillante pronto a salvare la damisell in distress, lei per mettere da parte i comportamenti autodistruttivi. Tutto questo tra lezioni, provini e esami, mentre la vita al Withman College procede rapida e veloce con tutti i protagonisti che abbiamo iniziato a conoscere ed amare.

Il particolare da non dimenticare? Un copione…

Un libro dal ritmo veloce e angosciante, che regala barlumi di speranza in un mondo vessato da problemi di vita vera. Uno scorcio sulla vita vera di ragazzi che sembrano avere tutto e che invece a volte hanno bisogno di ogni altro. In uscita domani, 24 settembre, “Be my downfall” è un libro sconvolgente che vi farà innamorare di Toby alla prima riga, da quando il sole si affaccia su St. Moriz, in una mattina di aprile. Vi aspetto domani per il Book Launch e una incredibile sorpresa…
Aggiungo solo che adoro questa copertina con tutta me stessa…il tizio è tutto Toby *______*
Buona lettura guys!


Ringrazio immensamente Lyla Payne, Kelly Simmon e tutto InkSlinger PR per offrimi ogni volta fantastiche opportunità, avermi concesso di partecipare a questo Blog Tour e leggere in ANTEPRIMA questo libro, in cambio della mia opinione spassionata. Grazie.

[Dawn Myers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be My Downfall is by far my favorite of the Whitman University Series. This is full of heartache and frustration. I found myself really liking Toby considering the stunt he pulled in Broken at Love. Toby definitely redeemed himself in this one. Toby is understanding and only wants to help. He doesn't force Kennedy to do anything she doesn't want to do. He knows a thing about addiction. Kennedy is an addict has had a rough upbringing. She is the typical case of survivors guilt. Between Toby's understanding and Kennedy's wanting get clean makes for a good story. I read in Whitman University Boxed Set (Whitman University, #1-4).

[Belinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this story... I just REALLY want to know more about Trent as his story, why he got to the drugs and what actually happened to him after he disappeared. Did he die? Did he continue to live the drug life, if not, did he ever return back to his family? All these questions and no answers.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I fought against this one, I didn't want to like it but in the end...I did. This is SOLIDLY new adult. That means if you like this genre as a whole, this one will be right up your tree. It's all angsty, emotional and character driven. I sense the rest of this series is not so, because the rest of the side characters are all very college. They drink, they do dumb things, they sometime go to class and they sleep with each other. It felt a bit weird to me in that in the midst of all this debauchery we had these two brooding, tormented people falling in love. The tone of the love story and the tone of the setting were dissonant.

However, I did like it.

I wanted to feel like Toby went over board with his issues, all stemming from his brother, the addict who disappeared into druglandia never to be seen or heard from again...but it ended up being completely necessary to the story line. Toby talks about his issues with his family a lot. At first it felt annoying, but I grew to like him and his family issues by the middle of the book. Toby definitely has some dad tendencies. He wants to protect, to care for, and to protect. He also sometimes spoke like a forty year-old man. He kept talking about "taking her to bed" and he was way too self-aware about everything from drinking to his prospective career in film. And he did mention his hair gel and outfits more than I thought was strictly relevant for a male narrator. Taking on the male first person perspective is definitely a risk for any female author in this genre. I'm not sure the author 100% pulled it off, but it was believable enough because Toby as a character was such a caretaker and so much more mature than his peers. Though the whole thing might have worked better if he wasn't a rich, frat boy, living in his fraternity's basement. I could have believed that he was one of those people that is just born 40, all sedate and thoughtful if he lived off campus in a pristine apartment and spent his days sipping espresso and reading the New York times, but given his circumstances there were definitely some inconsistencies.

I also wanted to feel like Kennedy was another obnoxious, party-girl with more money than sense, but she wasn't. She was actually a really interesting character and though she did teeter on the edge of woe-is-me at times, there was a sort of raw believability to her struggles with grief and alcoholism. Payne didn't over-write Kennedy. She hit spot on with the sort of messed up, changeable nature of someone with a deep, dark past like Kennedy without writing her into crazy partytown and making her into a caricature. The only aspect of Kennedy's character tha t pushed it toward the over-the-top dramatic was the cruel grandmother on top of the loss of her whole family as 12 year-old. Was that necessary? Is it plausible that she could have had a nasty gram? Yes, but it felt like one too many buttons that the author was trying push to get the reader to "feel" for the character. The portrayal was done well enough that the reader didn't need that extra awfulness to understand and appreciate Kennedy. Sometimes a character doesn't need more problems to make their spiral into chaos work, but rather just a bit more nuance.

As I was reading there times when I thought this might be a two star book. It was pretty generic in tone (as a I said), Toby occasionally bugged me. But the ending pulled things together. Payne finally got to the heart of the idea of addiction and forces her characters to deal with it head on. Toby does the right thing-- not the romantic, let-me-save-you-beautiful-lady-thing-- but the right thing. And of course we get an HEA, but in the right way. Had the novel gone the other way-- instead of Toby realizing like Kennedy would need to save herself, had he swooped in an banished her demons with nothing but his great abs and strong moral fortitude-- it would have been a two star. Ultimately the deep understanding that developed between the two characters and their journey to get there pulled it up to almost four stars.

There was one thing that drove me banana-pancakes crazy: the therapist. It seems like there is another book that the author is going to write regarding the therapist and one of his patients, Annette, who keeps running out of the office every time Toby shows up looking harried, but anyway! The therapist is described as being only in his late twenties, not much older that Toby it says, yet he talks like some sort of made-for-TV shrink in his sixties. He refers to Toby as Tobias at all time, even though Toby says he doesn't like, which was irritating by itself. Then, he flat out tells Toby to stay away from Kennedy in the beginning, which didn't feel very therapist-like to me. Therapists are all about listening to you and offering ideas about how things might work by talking through options, or helping you understand the world in which you find yourself. They don't spend a lot of time telling you who not to date or laying down ultimatums about why something you are going to do is a Very Bad Idea.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received an ARC copy in exchange for this honest review*

I go to a lot of different writers for different things - honest characters, exciting premises, a believable and addicting series, steamy love scenes, thoughtful human issues or authentic conflict. But with Lyla Payne and her Whitman University series, I always get it all, and then some!

If for some reason you haven't read the other two books in the Whitman University series, you are really missing out. Go one click the rest, now, go – scoot! This series is tough, mature and sexy but at the same time very playful and irreverant. Warning though, it is insanely addicting. The second you finish one book you wish the next were already out. The characters are so real that sometimes I think Ms. Payne has taken them beyond three-dimensional to some kind of fourth dimension of character development. Everyone in her books, whether a main or secondary character, is layered and deliciously imperfect.

Each book in her phenomenal Whitman University series is lovely, but this one really gets under your skin. It stuck with me and challenged me. It is not for the faint of heart, and that’s a good thing. Toby is a closed-off golden boy hottie plagued by secrets and guilt, while Kennedy is, well she is just a smoking hot mess that you can’t help but like. Together, their connection is intense and their chemistry is combustible.

This book is intense. You know you are hurtling toward a world of hurt but you encourage Toby and are with him and Kennedy the whole way. You breathe this life experience right along with him. He is a fabulous hero and grows so much. He is so visceral, funny, charming and real and he takes the reader to an ending that is just plain beautiful.

This installment is edgier than the rest of the series. Its not “angsty” just for the sake of being so (like a lot of NA books out there), it is just emotional, challenging and true. It is more like the intense book one (broken at love) than the more playful book two (by referral only). A major piece of this book that I loved is the sophisticated and unique use of point of view. The majority of the book is 1st person from our hero with highly objective snippets giving us a glimpse of our tortured heroine and her motivations. So often in romance an innocent girl is chasing after the angry tortured man, and this totally turns it on its head, challenging the reader while it challenges our hero. The book is so evocative and poignant that at times I had to put it down and take a moment before diving back in. The pacing and relationship development is so realistic, Ms. Payne almost makes it look too easy. It is so authentic that it often felt realistic to the point of voyeurism. I felt like Toby at times, then like I was his friend, knowing I would give him advice to protect his heart while simultaneously rooting these two crazy kids on. Its an emotional roller coaster in the best possible way.

My only wish/greedy request would be for a longer epilogue (ideally a scene or two back at school. They will face a lot when school starts again and I would love to see how they handle it and other people). The book is so intense I think my racing heart needed a little more of a slow burn on the comedown, but that is like saying a Dove bar can be improved by being 10% bigger! Besides, a great feature of this series is that everyone's stories are so beautifully interwoven that each book plays on the characters from prior and future books. This series doesn't just give lip service to a prior couple, they are a part of the action and aid in the growth and development of the other characters - you know, like in real life! So hopefully we will see more of Toby and Kennedy in the future. (Speaking of all the great characters, someone needs to make this book a mini series or something, stat ☺) Enjoy!

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find this review and more on my blog...

I enjoyed the first two books in the Whitman University series. They were pretty light and fluffy. There was good angst and some pretty steamy scenes. I was expecting more of the same when I began reading this novel. I couldn't have been more wrong. Sure, it was an easy read and there were some damn steamy scenes, but there was a lot more to this story. It hits on some tough topics, but does so with charming, likable characters and an engrossing storyline.

"The truth about how she could live here alone, what her parents would have wanted for their daughter, and a way to let go of the pain, but the girl just couldn't reach it. The rough sex unlocked her ability to feel. The alcohol dried up her defense mechanisms. But neither lasted."

To the outside world, Kennedy Gilbert is just a party girl. She likes to drink and sleep around. The truth is, she's an incredibly intelligent girl and she's beyond broken. She uses sex and alcohol to deal with the pain she's experiencing. Her parents and her baby brother died in an accident when she was younger. She feels both guilt and responsibility for their deaths. She doesn't want good things for herself because they're no longer here to experience good things of their own. Her destructive behavior is a cry for help. But, she doesn't trust other people and doesn't let anyone in.

"She's going to fucking obliterate me, isn't she?"

Toby Wright is a good guy. His dad is a Senator. He tries to steer clear of drama. He likes to have fun and doesn't want to be tied down. He's not looking for a relationship. He never counted on meeting someone like Kennedy either. She begins to open up and let him in. They become friends and he feels a need to protect her, to show her there's more to life than how she's living right now. Kennedy and Toby share a strong chemistry and it's only a mere matter of time before they sleep together. He pushes her to feel things she's not used to feeling with another person, things that have nothing to do with pain.

"She tasted like strawberries and horrible, horrible choices, but when her lips parted to let my tongue brush over hers, I knew I needed to do her and get it over with - get her out of my system."

There's a lot of back and forth with Kennedy and Toby. They're both great at resisting the feelings they have for the other. It felt real though. Sometimes things happen too quickly in books and it's unrealistic to me. This was not one of those times. I was completely invested in these characters.

"That's what's real. Bad is all I've got." She hesitated, her eyes wandering back to mine. "Except when I'm with you."

This book has its fair share of angst. There were a lot of ups and downs. I adored the characters, broken as they were. I enjoyed that the story kept me guessing. The dialogue was believable and well-written. I liked that it was primarily written from Toby's perspective. I found that refreshing. I liked the way Kennedy's chapters were written, as flashbacks. Her flashbacks complemented Toby's chapters very well and gave more insight into her past and her character, without directly writing chapters in her perspective. Lyla Payne has made a new fan with this novel and I look forward to more from her and this series.

I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

[야일 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Original Posting: Gaga Over Books
I was given the opportunity to read this ARC for the third book in the Whitman University Novels. I have read the second installment By Referral Only but haven't read Broken At Love which started all this. Which is Okay. I guess. LOL. As I am kinda scared to read that. I have heard Quinn was very messed up. So...

Back to this installment. I was so happy with the fact that this book was from a male POV- specifically from Toby's who I think has had a bad reputation in the 1st book. I haven't read the first so I dunno what he did but I know it was something shady. I dunno I liked read reading from his POV a lot. And he didn't seem like a jerk that people were making him out to be. I found him serious, honest and mature for a 19 year old. He was a dedicated student. Now he has had a broken /damaged past and I dunno I truly felt the pain, the hopelessness, the frustration, the love when I was reading this book. So kudos to Lyla for doing that. I truly liked this book. From the two books that I have read by Lyla. This took the top spot.

Where By Referral Only was a good read. Be My Downfall was a great read. And I don't say that much about NA books. But I was seriously surprised by how much I liked the characters in this installment. We had recurring roles in the shapes of Emilie and Quinn form Broken At Love and Ruby and Cole from By Referral Only along with Audra (Cole's sister) and many others.

The book majorly focused on Toby's point of view but in between it would have Kennedy's (third-person) narrative. Those were painful but gave us an insight to why Kennedy was the way she was. I really fell for Kennedy. I liked her a lot. I am so glad Toby was there for her and I was so angry but sad more for her when she wouldn't accept his help because she had to accept her help first. She was a girl who lost her parents at a young age and then due to her grandma she began to live in guilt. She thought she didn't deserve to be happy. She stopped feeling. Which is just sad.

I thought this book was genuine and with NA novels I don't feel this emotion that much (I have only felt this emotion with J. Lynn's NA titles and some H.M. Ward's).

We have a book with two leads who have a connection. The male lead Toby has had dealt with someone similar from his past with a problem like Kennedy and he knows he should disengage but he can't fail our female lead because he has come to really care for her and also wants to save her from her own downfall but also live with letting her go and living his own life.

This book dealt with deep stuff. Like seriously we have seen such individuals dealing with addiction depicted in TV shows and what not. The ones we love have gone down the spiral and lost themselves forever. We know just like Toby that first they need to save themselves in order for us to save them.

Also I am quite pleased that this book didn't focus that much on sexy stuff. There have been other NA books out there that focus more on that stuff rather than the story and the genuine feels.

I would have given this book five stars if only it had made me laugh.- it was a sad book. And I like to laugh once in a while. But it gets four stars for its genuineness and making me want to finish it even when my eyes just wanted a shutdown.

Will I recommend this installment? Yeah.

Teaser:

"Like if we live wrong, it means we didn't love them."

[Jennifer Wolfel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hauntingly beautiful read. I cried desperately for Toby and Kennedy throughout this book. They are both so broken and drowning looking for something, anything to pull them to the surface so that they can breath easily again. Can two lost souls search for happiness, and find it in a place they weren't even looking?

Kennedy has a horrible past... Nobody really knows her because she refuses to let anyone in. She uses sex, drugs and alcohol to drown out all her feelings and keep her numb. She goes through the motions of life without truly living. But... She's a survivor and nobody will be her downfall... That is until she meets Toby Wright. However she fights against it all and at times I wanted to smack her upside the head and tell her to wake up that life was going to leave her behind if she didn't grab it by the horns. My heart hurt for her, wanting nothing more then to break through that armor she built up around her heart... Yeah I know they are fictional characters but this book grabs and you makes you feel completely invested in their lives, emotions and their future...

Toby was AMAZING... I fell in love with him right away. After hearing his pain and his story my heart broke for him. The book is told solely from his POV and I LOVED IT!!!!!!! His words and his feelings were so raw and open and so unlike most men... Toby was haunted be a failure he took claim too, but in reality isn't his fault... When he meets Kennedy it's like he has a second chance to right the wrongs he thinks he did in his past, but she is so much more to him then he plans for, he's drawn to her and no matter how hard he tries he cannot get her out of his head... Toby mostly does what is expected of him, gets good grades and keeps his nose out of trouble.... And Kennedy is trouble with a capital T. The worry is that she will drag him into the darkness far beyond what he understands. Toby was in a good place with his past until she brought up all those old feelings and worries. I felt for Toby I wanted him to let her go at times and just move on with his life... Sometimes it's just not worth the heartache it causes... Toby's internal struggle between what is right and what he wants and needs almost tears him apart...

As I was reading through this book the title made me think of one of my favorite bands Matchbox 20 and there song Downfall... a piece of the chorus I think speaks to the story of Toby and Kennedy perfectly...


Lay it down
I've always been with you
Hear me now
With all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall


I can't tell you what happens in the end you'll have to read it to find out but I will tell you that you will enjoy this read, it will frustrate you, make you want to scream, make you cry sad and happy tears and at then end the emotional journey will be worth every minute... I was impressed with the writing and story development the characters are very strong and the story will still leave you wanting more... There were just a few things that I would have liked to seen explored further in the story line and a few loose ends I kinda felt like I wanted wrapped up, but I was completely satisfied with the ending. I give Lyla 5 stars for this beautiful read and I hope that everyone takes the time to read Kennedy and Toby's journey...

[Chelsea (Starbucks & Books Obsession) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first Whitman University read, even though it is the third book and I can’t believe I haven’t read the other two. It was a deep and inspiring story of love, loss and healing. Both characters have suffered great tragedy and handled their situation in very different ways. While Toby is an over-achiever and Kennedy is the exact opposite, they have one thing in common; neither of them really feels anything until they meet each other.

Toby is sweet, smart, and a really good guy. He’s a bit of an introvert but it’s mostly because he is the son of a senator and he has to live his life on the straight and narrow. He has suffered a loss that has profoundly affected him but must suffer in silence because of his father’s position. This has caused him to feel this emptiness inside that can’t really be filled. He has casual sexual encounters but never holds a relationship because he feels nothing for any woman he meets. He has a passion for film and writing but he studies business to appease his father and decides to go into the business side even though it’s not what he wants. I think Toby is a bit of a people pleaser and he doesn’t always do what he wants but what others want for him.

Kennedy is messed up. I mean this girl has some serious issues and considering the loss she suffered, it’s easy to see why. However, I think she is way too hard on herself. She doesn’t feel like she deserves to be alive and she relishes in pain and suffering because it makes her feel something and reminds her that she is alive. She has no reason to feel guilt but she does and it propels her into a mess of alcohol and rough, punishing sex. I felt so sad for her because she really doesn’t deserve the life she’s living and it was rough to see her live her life the way she was.

Both Toby and Kennedy are just going through the motions of life but never really living or feeling any real emotions. When they meet, there is this instant connection that neither one of them expects. Toby knows he shouldn’t get involved with Kennedy and he tells himself this many times but something propels him to her. Both Toby and Kennedy feel something magical with each other and they really start to build this beautiful relationship and Kennedy finally opens up to Toby and it seems he is making real progress. I was so mad at Kennedy for running when things got real and my heart hurt for Toby because he was really falling for her and letting her go was really hard for him. However, he was always there for her and the way he protected her, even from afar was amazing.

I felt like this book had a really heavy feeling to it but it wasn’t depressing at all. I really felt for both Kennedy and Toby and found them perfect for each other because they seemed to be exactly what each other needed. Kennedy needed someone who really, truly cared to show her that she deserved to be happy and she had a life worth living. Toby needed someone to care for and show him that he didn’t need to be perfect, he just needed to be him. Kennedy motivated him to find himself and be who he really wanted to be. Despite the turmoil of their relationship and the way Kennedy pushed Toby away, I had faith that she would find her way back to him and he could help her reclaim her life and happiness again.

[Janna ♥ I'm A Sweet And Sassy Book Whore ♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This review will also be posted at www.mysectrectromancebookreviews.com

Toby Wright has always prided himself on being one of the most normal guys at Whitman University. He loves his parents, has a great job lined up after graduation, and with the exception of attempting to cross the unbalanced Sebastian Blair sophomore year, has kept his nose pretty clean.

But the rich never have empty closets, and memories long stashed away come spilling free when notorious party girl Kennedy Gilbert almost dies in his dorm room.

Nobody really knows how Kennedy manages to stay in good standing at Whitman–she never goes to class, doesn’t pretend to care about her future, and as far as people can tell, is never sober. This isn’t her first meeting with a stomach pump, but it is the first time she’s woken up to Toby’s concerned brown eyes. Despite the fact that she prefers life without friends, he gets under her skin with his insistence on playing her guardian angel.

No one knows better than Toby that people can only be saved if they want to be, but the realization that she has no one else draws him back into the shadows of Kennedy’s life–and eventually into her bed. But she long ago came to terms with a truth that Toby refuses to accept: she doesn’t want to be rescued, she only wants to forget.

Unwilling to give up on her, Toby’s dragged under by this broken girl and her dark, twisted Whitman University he never guessed existed. If he struggles to the surface, he’ll abandon someone he loves for the second time in his life. If he doesn’t, it won’t be long until they both drown.

Once again Lyla Payne has shown us an aspect of what goes on at every college campus across the nation…drug use. Toby was trying so hard to help Kennedy, while dealing with his own demons. He wanted to help her and love her. He knows how destructive the life she is living can be to not only the person using but to those who love and care about you. Toby wasn’t my favorite in the first book of this series, Broken at Love, but redeemed himself in Be My Downfall.

Kennedy was screwed up big time, she felt as though she didn’t deserve to be happy, and sadly someone else in her past made sure she felt that way. She couldn’t cope and turned into the campus resident party girl, sleeping around and using drugs and alcohol to feel. She honestly began to trust Toby and have real feelings for him, but her demons made her doubt herself. Kennedy’s past broke my heart and I wanted her to finally be happy.

I felt a connection with Toby, my uncle was an addict and lost his battle with addiction years ago but even know thinking back on it still hurts. I could feel his pain and frustration when trying to get Kennedy help but knowing until she wanted it for herself his effort was useless. I love how this series isn’t scared to show the bad side of college life, not just the good. It isn’t pretty at times and I feel that sometimes authors would rather deal with the good and not ever focus on the bad. I hope that there will be more books to this series as I have enjoyed each book immensely so far.

[Jessica Buwalda · Rating 3 out of 5]

View more of my review and others at my blog: www.mynotsovacantshelf.blogspot.com

This story was definitely an emotional one, and one that hit home. Alcoholism is a serious subject and it has affected my family so reading about it hit me in the heart a bit. A lot of people’s experiences with alcoholism are different and the one that affects my family is not like this, so I guess I could somewhat relate and somewhat not relate. It was a little weird emotionally while reading this, but all of that aside this was a pretty interesting romance. I liked how put together Toby was. He’s a little different from all the men in New Adult novels, and I liked it. Granted I have not read the first two novels in this series (and obviously I should), but I found Toby refreshing. Even though he’s gone through some serious stuff he’s still the kind of guy that can go to a party, can go on vacation, and studies. He seems pretty normal. But, Toby is good an appearing normal on the outside while his insides are all messed up-thats the life he leads as a political son. Kennedy on the other hand isn’t. She’s just messed up period. To be honest I’m not entirely sure if I like Kennedy. She’s had a bit of a ‘Carrie’ upbringing with a crazy grandmother that basically hated her, but when she reflects back on her childhood and hear her grandmother say those things she reflects on how crazy her grandmother is, and when that happens I just can’t understand her. But, the romance between them is pretty awesome. I love that he can bring her out of her darkness and he refuses to give into her, instead he shows her what it means to live. But, overall the only thing a side from Kennedy that I didn’t like was the fact that there are basically no happy moments in this novel. There is a moment on a plane, but otherwise I didn’t feel happy or didn’t feel the characters were happy at all. It was kind of weird. But, the book was still a good emotional read about two characters that were trying for each other.

Good:

The romance between Toby and Kennedy, especially their first night together, but including ever one of their nights together.

Toby- Although messed up he’s a pretty good guy.

Bad:

Some of the age and year stuff with Kennedy doesn’t add up. I received an ARC copy, so maybe that’s the reason, but I’m pretty sure how old she was when he parents passed kept changing. It threw me off a bit.

The lack of happiness--Generally when reading why empathize with the characters and what is happening to them, we smile when they smile, we hurt when they hurt. This book is filled with a lot of hurt so I can honestly say there weren’t many moments while reading it that I found myself, and the characters, feeling happy.

Overall (Writing style, story line, and general):

Overall it was still an enjoyable read. I still like the characters and the serious situation they go through and really did enjoy the romance and they way the responded to each other. I received an ARC copy, so any of the timeline of grammatical issues are hopefully corrected in the finished copy.


This book was provided courtesy of the author/publisher for review; however, this is no way affected my review.

[Karla Mae (Reads and Thoughts) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be My Downfall is the best by far from this series – book cover and story wise. It has the depth with the complications and feels. It has the toughest set of characters. Though the storyline was already used plenty of times and the way things were settled was pretty abrupt for my taste, the overall story was tugging and beautiful.

Before I started reading this, I’ve undergone a thorough investigation as to whom this story will be about. I honestly can’t remember who Toby is from the previous books. I found his name on the first book (Emilie and Quinn’s story) and honestly he’s nothing memorable there so you really can’t blame me if I don’t remember a bit of him. And now, after reading Toby’s story Quinn Rowland and Cole Stuart who? lol.

Toby is Whitman’s resident Golden Boy.
Kennedy is Whitman’s resident hot mess and notorious party girl.
And they’re both going to be each other’s downfall.

I honestly adore Toby’s character. His character didn’t appeal easily into me but he has this certain charm that seems to seep in within me. He’s the son of a famous politician and belonged to an impeccable family – impeccable only on the outside because deep down they have their own skeletons at their closet. He’s a well developed character with a great emotional depth, emotionally vulnerable but not to the point of getting too sappy, analytical and honest.

Kennedy is one of the toughest characters I have encountered. She’s never sober and always with a different guy; She doesn’t have any close friends and doesn’t seem to think abut anything. She has the most twisted thinking and twisted life. She’s so lost with no desire to be found. Kennedy’s life experiences are tough; she has too much going on that I began to think that this whole story will be depressing or such but fortunately even though her story was indeed depressing it gives us an idea as to why she’s the way that she is today and why she has that twisted outlook in life.

Just when I thought it will be another story about the resident Golden Boy saving the Broken Girl, I was wrong. Be My downfall is simply not about that. Toby knows that he cant easily save Kennedy as to what she’s experiencing and he knows that no matter how much force he used on her to let him in she will not, instead he gave her space. Seeing their relationship develop is wonderful. There are a lot of back and forth between them but from the get go you should’ve known that that is how things will go for these two.

Lyla Payne keeps getting better and better into building this superficial world of these college students. I enjoyed every twist, turns and sweet nottings that this book offers. A highly recommended read!

PS. I’m getting intrigued with Sebastian. Will he get his own story Ms. Payne?

*Advanced copy kindly provided for review*
*Release Day deets posted at Reads and Thoughts.

[Autumn Review · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Be My Downfall. I will say that it was the darker of the three books in the series, in my opinion. The issues both Toby and Kennedy face are intense, emotional, and a bit heartbreaking.

I liked Toby from the first book. I'm happy with the way things worked out for Em, but Toby is a really good guy. I had hopes that he would find someone worthy of him. In this book, he meets the campus nutcase, Kennedy, at a party he's hosting over break. It's clear from the start that this girl has some very serious issues. Not only does she seem to party hard, but there is obviously something else that she's battling with. Toby feels drawn to her. He wants to help her. See, Toby had a brother that struggled with drug addiction. It was devastating to his family and still haunts them. So, I think Toby saw that Kennedy needed help, but he didn't fully understand the depth to Kennedy's issues. But, he wanted to be there to help her, understand her, and show her love. Toby proved, once again, that he's one of the good ones.

Oh my, poor Kennedy. I won't discuss the reasons why Kennedy is the way she is in detail, but I will say that she struggles with two very serious issues. My heart broke for Kennedy. She was so lost and lonely. There was something about Toby that made her feel. Like Toby, she was drawn to him. He seemed to give her peace and hope that maybe she could be ok with being happy again.

Throughout the book, there are flashback scenes that tell the story of what happened to Kennedy. I liked getting those chapters, but the time sequence was a bit all over the place. I don't have a problem going back in time, etc, but these scenes were a but jumpy to me. The other thing I felt like I wanted more information about or feel was unresolved was this issue with Toby's brother. I was curious to know what happened with that situation.

Overall, I really enjoyed it. I've enjoyed all of the couples in this series, but I think Toby and Kennedy touched me just a little bit more. Likely because they made me feel the most. It was great to see all the characters again too. I was curious to see how they would all tie together considering the way Toby and Em's friendship stood. I had a smile on my face every time yummy Cole came into a scene. He makes me smile. I'm really enjoying the Whitman University Series and look forward to what's to come. Definitely check this one out!

Quotes:
~She tastes like strawberries and horrible, horrible choices, but when her lips parted to let my tongue brush over hers, I knew I needed to do her and get it over with-get her out of my system.-Loc 577

~"I'm a writer, strawberry, and that means I'm a creepy observer. I've been watching you since we met in St. Moritz, and the saddest part is, you want to be happy. We have to figure out how to that okay."-Loc 2106

[Heather (Heather Hearts Books) Kilpatrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 HEARTS REVIEW from www.heatherheartsbooks.com

Be My Downfall was one of my most-awaited and most-impatient-for fall 2014 titles. I received it just a few days before I got diagnosed with leukemia and everything in my life became a blur of chaos. Be My Downfall was a welcome escape from the reality I was living in that moment.

The third installment of the Whitman University series focuses on Toby Wright and Kennedy Gilbert. Toby has had a minor role in each of the first two books in the series and I was looking very forward to the day when he would get his own book. Of all the guys in the Whitman University world, I've found him to be the most human and the most introspective, even though he initially came off as having a harsh side.

Kennedy Gilbert was an entirely new character, known for her penchant to party and notorious for her truly death-defying moments while imbibing. She chooses alcohol over friends and attachment to any people.

Toby is facing the pressure in his future professional life from his parents who don't support his dreams to be a writer and wish he would pursue the business-side of filmmaking, if he pursues it at all.

Each of them are so broken in their own ways that the odds that they should be able to come together seem extremely slim, yet they seem drawn to each other. Against those odds, they manage to be for each other the one person who can help them heal their wounds.

Lyla dealt with a really difficult topic in the form of alcoholism, especially considering the degree to which Kennedy is affected by it. At the beginning of the novel, it seems like death by alcohol poisoning is Kennedy's future. Lyla handles it in a really authentic manner -- she doesn't sugarcoat it, glamorize it, or allow Kennedy to suddenly be magically fixed by a boy. She struggles, she relapses, she even disappears for awhile.

I fell in love with the Whitman University in June and it was my first step into the world of NA. Broken at Love, the first in the series, was absolute perfection to me. While I loved By Referral Only and I enjoyed the sweeter story of Ruby and Cole, I remained extremely partial to Broken at Love, because I felt Lyla really captured each character so well and wrote the multiple points of view seamlessly. But Be My Downfall was so well done and really dealt with some of the nitty gritty things, making it so unique.

While I do remain taken with with Broken at Love (I have a habit of loving the first book in the series the most), Be My Downfall edged out By Referral Only to take the spot of my second favorite book in the Whitman University series -- and it's definitely worth a read. If you love it as much as I did, you'll finish it in one sitting.

[Eileen Proksch · Rating 5 out of 5]

“She had taught me about real love – and that it had to be selfless.”


This book left me speechless and broke my heart a million times. This is one of the most emotional books I've read lately. Lyla Payne has a way with words, and if you consider that the story was only told from the male character's POV, Toby Wright, it gives you even more reasons to be speechless.
It's not only about love. It's about loss, pain, finding yourself, accepting who you are and mostly about living life.


Toby Wright is not the typical golden boy. He doesn't get into trouble, doesn't drink much and is a good student.
Kennedy Gilbert is not the typical girl. She's barely ever sober, doesn't plan her future and only takes classes she neither has to work for nor attend.

Even though Toby knows it's not a wise idea, he gets involved with Kennedy and her countless problems. Kennedy tries her best to push Toby away, to not feel anything good because she doesn't deserve it, and to piss him off. She has more problems than anyone ever noticed and tries to handle them her way. Toby failed once but now he wants to do the right thing. After spending some weeks with a notorious party girl and witnessing her ways of handling life he realizes it's not that easy to save her from herself.

“You can't save anyone who isn't willing to save themselves.”

How do you save a person who doesn't want to be saved? How do you handle someone who's so willingly throwing her life away? How do you live when the only person left in your life tells you that you don't deserve to be alive?

I already loved the first two books in Lyla Payne's Whitman University Series but this one is by far my favorite. Maybe it's because it's written from the male POV only, or because of the fact that it's not only about young love. It's not only about two college students falling in love, it's about struggling with life, the past and the fact that you can't save everyone.
Life isn't always easy, and just because your parents are filthy rich doesn't mean life's always fair or you're not struggling with events that are long gone. Life is not perfect.
Even though the reader only gets to read about Toby's thoughts we also get a good impression about what Kennedy feels, thinks and about how she sees her life, her future and herself.

I'm still swooning over Toby and, damn, I totally fell in love with that guy. He's no bad boy and he tries to be the hero in Kennedy's life, but everyone needs a hero sometimes.

I enjoyed this book so much and can't wait to read more from Lyla Payne.
I highly recommend this book and the whole series!

[Andy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be My Downfall has to be one of the most emotional book I've read this year. You go through so many emotions throughout this book that when you get to the end, your eyes are puffy, nose is burning red, yet you have the biggest smile on your face. Lyla Payne has yet to disappoint me.

Toby Wright has always prided himself on being one of the more normal guys at Whitman. He's always been somewhat in the spotlight. With his dad in politics he's always had to keep up good appearances. Of course he's dated, but he's never kept someone around long enough for it to become serious. Friends? Those are always better kept at arms length. He really doesn't need anybody coming around asking unnecessary questions. Families always have secrets and the Wright's are no different. Kennedy Gilbert is the resident wild child at Whitman. I don't think anyone has ever seen her sober. She keeps to herself, sleeps around and doesn't do much else. Kennedy's story isn't all fairy tales and cupcakes. She's lived a hard life and the cards just never seem to be right. Everyone has a story, but when Toby and Kennedy's world collide, it's hard to put into words what exactly happens next. Toby already knows what path Kennedy is falling into, yet he can't seem to give up on her. It's hard to refuse somebody that won't go away. Will Kennedy let Toby in and realize there is something better or will she be his downfall?

It's amazing what Payne decided to do with this novel. We don't get the basic girl see's guy and they instantly fall in love. No, Payne decided not to go a route many authors use now-a-days. We get to see them develop somewhat of a friendship, because really, that's what Kennedy needs. My heart ached for both of these characters. I've never experienced a character like Kennedy before. She was broken beyond repair. In her mind she wasn't meant to be happy and she ran from any emotion that would make her show signs of happiness. The depth of emotion is heart wrenching, yet you come to an understanding that some things are meant to happen or meant to happen on their own time. That is exactly why I loved Toby's character. He himself has gone through things and knows nobody can save someone unless they want to save themselves.

On a completely side note: Call me masochistic, but I need Sebastian to get his own novel. I have this thing about secondary characters and the smaller their role is, the more intrigued I am by them. We have seen Sebastian lurking around in all three novels, so I say he deserves some attention. Now Miss Payne, I know I'm not the only one begging to get inside of Sebastian's head. Throw a girl a bone here! ;D

[Jaime Fiction Fangirls · Rating 5 out of 5]

First off let me disclose that I haven't read any of the previous books in the Whitman University Series so I went into this book without much backstory. I don't think that made that big of a difference that I wasn't familiar with a lot of the characters but I could change my mind after I complete the first two, because I will be going back to read them!!

This story covered the topic of addiction, loss and guilt in the most honest way possible. It wasn't in your face dramatic but it was powerful at the same time. Mistakes were made and people were hurt but never in a way that made me hate either Toby or Kennedy.

Toby captured my attention from the very beginning. He was perfect in all his imperfection. Honestly he got all of the best lines in this book.



"She tasted like strawberries and horrible, horrible choices..."



I swear I want a t-shirt with that quote on it. I'm impressed with the amount of smiles this book brought to my face considering the seriousness of the storyline. The light-hearted banter between Kennedy & Toby was a welcome relief that didn't make the story too heavy to read.


It was hard to watch as Toby tried to navigate his way through helping Kennedy while trying to protect himself from imploding if he failed. He made mistakes but he pushed through in order to show her that he was and would always be there for her. That she deserved to be happy. His past was always there threatening to break him but he never let it.


Kennedy broke my heart from the get go. The glimpses into what she'd been through and was going through in the form of flashes about "the girl" were a little awkward to me at first but the story wouldn't have been as strong without them. Watching as she let Toby in little by little warmed my heart. Even when she had "slip-ups" I could still see that she was getting closer to being ready to change for herself, not just Toby.


Which leads me to the best part of this story. When Toby realizes that none of what happens is about him, it's about her and how she needs to change for herself, to live for herself. That it was important that she know he was there for her but that she had to realize that she could be ok without him too.


I can't wait to read Broken at Love and By Referral Only to get to know more about the other characters.



*I received an ARC from the author/publisher in exchange for an honest review*