Bread, Salt & Wine

Tarnished Souls #4

by Dev Bentham

Some wounds never heal. George Zajac grew up in a religious family with a father who beat “the swish” out of him. At thirty-eight he's a troubled man. Escaping his miserable life as a banker in New York, he moves across the country to start again in Los Angeles as the catering chef for a prestigious French Restaurant. Kenny Marks, a writer who’s currently waiting tables, is everything George cannot be—flamboyant, proud and sexually confident. Enthralled by Kenny, and against his own better judgment, George agrees to a date. Sparks fly. The sex is amazing. But even after the two get close, George is crippled by humiliating sexual hang-ups. Still haunted by his childhood, he lingers in the closet and can’t commit to a relationship with Kenny.

Love is the great healer, but is it enough? George’s emotional scars could drive Kenny away, and with him, George’s last chance at happiness.

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Amazon, LGBT, Abuse, Contemporary Romance

ebook

First published June 10, 2013

About the author

Dev Bentham believes in the transformative power of true love. She’s the author of many gay romances, including Moving in Rhythm, August Ice and the Tarnished Souls Jewish Holiday series.

Over the years, she’s lived in way too many places and had far too many jobs, but she’s finally settled in frozen northern Wisconsin where she draws on her former lives to write enduring love stories in which wonderful men find each other. Her restless feet take her globetrotting whenever she gets the chance, but most of the time she’s tucked up in her office in the woods dreaming about romance.

Reviews

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

If any of you follow this series, you might remember George and Kenny from Sacred Hearts. George was the Chef who offered the MC, David, to help with catering in Mexico. This was his story and Kenny ... covering a time span from 2005 when they first met.

In the beginning, George was one of the fucked-up men (as commonly found in MM romance). He was abused as a child by his father when he found out that George was attracted to boys. He got married for 10 years to a woman. He couldn't perform sexually without being forced. Kenny was a waiter he met on the job -- unlike George, Kenny was out and more flamboyant.

Personally, from all of the Tarnished Soul series, this last book is my favorite. Thus, the solid 4-stars. Maybe because I knew that they were happy and solid (as seen in Sacred Hearts), I was really curious about their own story.

While George's abused background was one of the most often used theme in MM romance, I was really happy that Dev Bentham didn't use the "love healed everything" resolution. When they broke up, George got himself a professional help. I loved reading his journey -- from that messed-up man, who was afraid of being seen with a male lover, to consciously grabbed his own happiness and worked things through with Kenny. I loved George's family too ... they went a long way to understanding who George was (George's father was already dead).

Kenny was lovely, I thought he was really patient with George, despite being in 'secret' relationship. Sometimes I got annoyed when one partner gave the other ultimatum about coming out (no matter how you think it's the right thing to live as you are, coming out IS personal); but here I thought Kenny was doing the right thing. Because when he broke up with George, Kenny nudged George to get the help he clearly needed.

The downside of this story that it was written in terms of 'events'. So we have 2005 events, 2006 events, 2008 events, and 2010 event. Timeline wise, it made the story a bit jumpy, a lot of things might be missing, which could make readers lost connection with the characters and their journey towards happy ending. It was the limitation of this being a novella, albeit a long one (it clocked on 45k). However, it wasn't a problem for me. I was invested with George and Kenny since the beginning that I didn't find the timeline distracting.

I also enjoyed the story having no bitchy females (THANK YOU!)

The ending was sort of a 'reunion' of all the couples in this series: Nathan & Isaac (from book 1), Pete & Avi (from book 2), and David & John (from book 3) -- as they celebrated George & Kenny's wedding.

It was lovely and satisfying end to the series.

[Elizabetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

5.0 stars for the series

4.5 stars for book 4

This is the final book in Bentham’s Tarnished Souls series and it is a wonderful wind up to what has been a thoroughly enjoyable visit into this world where love is celebrated as “the great polisher of our tarnished souls”.

All of the men in the series have been lost or damaged in some way, but I think it’s George’s story that pulls at my heart the most. The idea of a child beaten for who he is is heartbreaking, and the lifelong damage that this wreaks on his heart and soul is immeasurable. George carries the psychological marks of his father’s anger meted out in a corner of their barn on an Iowan farm; this ritual of ‘beating the swish’ out of the young boy. Now, George is nearing forty and he has lived in the dark, in denial and shame, wrestling with his identity. Another favorite character is Kenny, who has kept the ‘swish’ and is fabulous just as he is. He forces George to face his demons. How Kenny shares his compassion, love and patience with George is remarkable.

I really like how George’s catering business is portrayed in the story. We get a feel for his life and the people around him who support him. Like Cheryl, a co-worker and quiet friend throughout. I also like how the author uses the Jewish celebration, Purim, as an analogy for fighting bigotry and hatred. By participating in Kenny’s celebration, George finally shows that he will no longer bow to bullies or hide from who he is.

Through the series we’ve followed the ups and downs of eight compelling men who are connected by friendship. While the first three books can be read as stand-alone, I would recommend reading them in order with this as the last. Also connecting the stories is the thread of Jewish tradition and rituals of major holidays that runs lightly through them. In each, a turn to ritual has helped see the men through. The title in this final book refers to the Polish wedding tradition in George’s family of sharing bread, salt, and wine to ward off hunger, bitterness and thirst. All good things must come to an end. It is a treat to see all the major characters together again in celebration at the end of this story, a fitting completion to a wonderful series.

[CrabbyPatty · Rating 4 out of 5]

NYC 2002: On George Zajac's 35th birthday, he started the day at his investment banker job and by the afternoon, deciding his whole life was a fraud, quit his job, went home to leave his wife ... and decided to become a chef. Fast-forward to L.A. 2005 where George is the newly-hired catering chef for a snobby French restaurant and Kenny Marks, screenwriter/playwright/waiter extraordinaire, has caught his eye. And what's not to love with Kenny's spiky blonde hair, big smile and out-and-proud exuberance and sexual confidence?

Despite his total reboot at 35, George has very deep troubling issues, and my heart just ached for him: "I grew up miserable in the middle of cornfields. I’d felt so fucking isolated. I vowed that as soon as I could escape, I’d live in places where there’d always be someone who could hear me if I screamed. [...] It had taken a long time for me to get there, safe, single, and unknown. So what if I was lonely? Everything had its price."

Kenny asks George out and he agrees, only to panic after a night of hot man sex, deciding the only thing he needs is "a regular fuck buddy who could deal with my sexual weirdness without getting too rough." George offers up a friends-with-benefit situation which Kenny agrees to. But eventually Kenny tells George “That’s not a kink, honey. It’s a sickness. Maybe you should see someone, like a therapist.”

George's recovery and rebirth is not a short process, with the book spanning 8 years from start to finish before George and Kenny get a beautifully fitting HEA. The book is only 144 pages but it has a depth and strength that belies its brevity and this story held my interest every step of the way. In fact, I devoured it in one sitting. I highly recommend this book!

It didn’t matter how long it took me; I would learn a different way of loving. Because I wanted that, wanted to feel whole and loved, to love someone. No, not someone—to love a man, with my whole heart and body. Kenny’d been right. It wasn’t a kink. It was a wound, and wounds heal.

I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Visit my blog, Sinfully Good Gay Book Reviews

[Lelyana's Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a better one from all the series. I think it's because George and Kenny had the long way to find their love.
Love was there, but George had been in a closet for too long, to admit his love for Kenny.
It was a long searching. Kenny found a new love, and left George thinking about his sexuality.
I can't blame Kenny for his decision to leave George years ago, no I can't.
George had chosen that.

But I'm glad they're finally realized that they still love each other and can't hold it anymore.
The reunion though, was too smooth. But, well, love has it's own way to drag our life as it choose us.
All we can do is to follow. Glad that George and Kenny also followed what love wants them to go.
It's about time.
There's a little reunion with the couples from before, nice. And everybody happy.
A nice way to end the series, anyways. :)

[Mercedes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this story and I really felt for George's issues. However the time jumps were really hard for me to follow. I had to keep checking the Table of Contents to figure out how much time had passed between one event and the next. However, I can't see how the story could have been told any other way, so I just went with it.

This is the first book I read from this series. So I can say that it can be read as standalone, except for the very end when characters from the other books show up in a cameo. But it's nothing that will leave you confused.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars I thought this was really sweet. Right off the bat your heart was breaking for George but it wasn't shoved down your throat in a way where you felt the author was trying to force you into an emotional reaction. His loneliness and psychological issues were slowly revealed piece by piece and eventually resolved in a realistic and authentic manner. No overnight, miracle cures. No self-sacrificing love-interest. Kenny knew when he needed to leave the relationship for himself, and simply guided George as best he could to let him know that his needs weren't a kink but destructive behavior developed out of past abuse (although he didn't really know the specifics at the time)

Although this didn't bother me, the one criticism people might have is the time-jumps. There is always the possibility for them to be, jumpy, for lack of a better word. but I thought the transitions were smooth here. I liked how each one was marked with a wedding (May 2005 wedding, July 2005 wedding, December 2008 wedding) because it gave some consistency, and for the most part I didn't get lost in where we were in time. The jumps happened at appropriate places and allowed for us to witness the full course of a relationship with ups and downs that spanned several years.

My only complaint would be that the last chapter felt slightly cheesy and name-droppy when they quickly started saying "oh and there's John, and Nathan, and here comes Pete!". I didn't read the previous books in this series, so while I assumed that that was who these people were, it felt a little like a forced reunion crammed in at the last minute for the last book in a series. But that aside I thoroughly enjoyed this and thought it was written very well.

Received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review, reviewed for Hearts On Fire

[Alina]

I don't know what to say about this book.

It's very well-written as always with Dev Bentham books and I liked both MCs, but I just really really hate this thing with MCs breaking up, then several years being apart and then again starting over. I like when the characters try to overcome problems together and here it was like George became a completely different man at the end and honestly it's been kinda unsatisfying for me.

Other than that it was a good story and an appropriate ending to the series. Nice to see other couples making appearance at the end.

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant final book for what has been a fab series. I really enjoyed each story in this series and this final book is the icing on the cake.

[Susinok · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely book with one of my favorite themes, overcoming your past and your personal demons. This series has been amazing and will be added to my re-read list.

[ConM · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this series.

They were calm, easy reads, but had a real depth to the characters and stories. I liked the spiritual parts also.

[Janna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted at Rarely Dusty Books

Genre & Keywords:
Contemporary Romance, M/M, Friends With Benefits, In The Closet, Catering Chef, Waiter/Writer, Abusive Childhood, Jewish Holiday

~~~~~
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Heat level: 2 out of 3 flames
~~~~~

Bread, Salt and Wine is a story about the courage to come out of the closet, the courage to seek help for childhood trauma's, the courage to be yourself and the courage to love. George needs a lot of that courage. This is more his story than it is Kenny's. It's not a coincidence that it's solely told from his point of view in first person, because it's kind of his belated coming of age story. Kenny is merely the catalyst for George to gather his courage to do the things he needs to do, for himself. George is a heartbreaking character.

I liked it a lot that George realized that he needed therapy and got help after he and Kenny broke up. He didn't seek help to save his 'friendship-with-benefits' with Kenny, but to save himself. Although Kenny's remark about George's kink being not a kink but a wound propelled him into taking the necessary steps. We don't get to see how George goes through his therapy, the story makes a time lapse there and we only learn about it in hind sight. This is not the only time lapse in the plot: the story covers a period of 8 years.

The pace of the plot is well dosed. Due to the use of the time lapses the developments in George's healing process get enough room to make them realistic. However, they caused me to feel like I missed some important occasions in George and Kenny's growing relationship as well. It wasn't very visible nor tangible how or why they fell in love, because it all felt a bit fragmented. Also, I had the feeling I didn't know Kenny very well. George's characterization is done much, much better than his.

This is the fourth book in the Tarnished Souls series but can be read as a stand alone. Only at the end I got the feeling I was missing out on something when all the couples from the three previous books made a cameo appearance. I think book #3 took place somewhere during the 8 years of George and Kenny's story. But it didn’t bother me very much that I had to guess about the other couples. Now I'm only more eager to read the previous books as well.

Apparently, the four books in this series are all centered around a Jewish holiday. In this last one it's Purim. As the author writes in her acknowledgment "Purim is a funny holiday (...) yet the Purim story deals directly with the potentially deadly consequences of bigotry." I thought the way this holiday played a role in the story was done very cleverly. Kenny organizes a Purim party twice in the plot, once before George's healing and once after. George's part in this Purim party on both occasions reflects his development as a person wonderfully. I enjoyed those scenes at the last party very much, especially with the knowledge of the meaning of the holiday combined with George's personal history. His transformation really felt completed.

This was the first book by this author that I've read, but it certainly tastes like more. I liked that it was not a conventional romance but more of a novel about personal growth with a romantic plot line and a happy ending. I also admired Bentham’s clean and compelling writing style. And last but not least, I enjoyed the emotional layers in this story not being overly dramatic but heartbreaking nonetheless. Overall, this was an engaging and entertaining novel written by an author whose voice I love and definitely like to see more off.

[Becky Condit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dev Benthan’s Tarnished Souls series is one of my all time favorite series. Loosely based on four of the Jewish holidays, each story builds on the one before. While they can be read as stand-alone novels you get more out of them when read in order.

In Bread, Salt, and Wine we meet closeted Chef George, descended from a proud Polish family, who grew up on a farm in Iowa. Throughout the book we get hints about something dark and terrible that happened to George on the farm but it isn’t until about three-quarters of the way into the book that the horror is revealed.

The other main character is lapsed Jewish playwriter/waiter Kenny. George and Kenny strike up a friendship that leads very quickly into bed. This isn’t insta-love. George’s nightmarish past keeps him from being able to attach to anyone. Kenny goes along with the plan for a friends with benefits arrangement but eventually that idea meets reality, too.

The story moves through several years, with the dates and locations announced at the beginning of the chapters so the change isn’t too jarring. When Kenny tells George that he needs more than George is able to give him, George has an emotional breakdown that leads to painful self-discovery. Meantime, Kenny has to decide what to do with his own life. I have to tell you that at this point in the book I had to put it down and cry.

The secondary characters are just as wonderful as the MCs and there is a coming out scene that is well worth the angst of the many pages that led up to it.

This is the final book of the series and ends the way it should, with a wedding. What happens at weddings? All of the couple’s friends and families come together to celebrate the event, right? In this case, all of the MCs from previous books in the series are there and I loved seeing them again so much! Usually when a series ends I wish there were going to be more but in this case the final book is the perfect coda that brings the total piece to a satisfying conclusion. I’m happy that I will be reading other books by Ms Bentham and to tell the truth I will be re-reading this particular series.

My 5 sweet pea review appears at http://mrsconditreadsbooks.com/index.... on June 14, 2013.

[Monika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review posted on World of Diversity Fiction Reviews

I don’t know how to express how much I loved this book! Bread, Salt & Wine is very sweet, sometimes funny, sometimes sad but has the perfect HEA ending. This is a story about 2 men, George is a Chef who heads to California to start a new life and Kenny is a waiter. George handles the catering and after working closely with Kenny they find themselves falling in love but there are some big hurdles to get over to reach their HEA. It’s about George’s struggle to overcome what happened in his childhood that won’t allow him to come out of that closet and be happy with who he is. He’s resigned to the fact he will never be in a relationship no matter how much he wishes it, until he meets Kenny.

Kenny, what can I say about Kenny.....I LOVED this funny, flamboyant, very sweet and very out young man. Kenny has no inhibitions and that terrifies George he’s not looking for a relationship, he’s hoping for a friends with benefits scenario with Kenny and against his better judgment Kenny accepts that kind of relationship and the rules George puts up. This is an accident waiting to happen.

The angst broke my heart I found myself reaching for a tissue more than once but it also had a lot of moments that had me laughing. Even with their age difference, George is heading to 40 and Kenny is younger by more than just a few years, their relationship works. It was never George taking care of Kenny it was actually the other way around and I loved that, it really shows how the abuse George suffered in his childhood has destroyed his confidence and kept him firmly in the closet.

Bread, Salt & Wine is book 4 of the Tarnished Souls series. It can be read as a standalone but I would recommend reading at least the first book where you get a glimpse of George and Kenny. I knew after reading Learning from Isaac that I wanted a story about George and Kenny so I skipped ahead to book 4 and got my story. Now I’m going to go back re-read the first book, read the next 2 then re-read Bread, Salt & Wine where I can spend more time with my new loves George and Kenny.

I’m sure book 2 & 3 will be just as beautiful so I highly recommend reading the Tarnished Souls series.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

I jumped into this series without reading any of the previous books but I didn't feel like I was missing anything. The beginning of this story was interesting but two things lowered my enjoyment of it. I really disliked the time jumps. With that we loss some of the fall out and break down of the way George treats Kenny. We also miss out on the struggle George is going through being with Kenny despite his demons.

The second thing that kills it a lot of me is the George has some major issues to deal with. Yet we don't see them being dealt with. A mention of a psychiatrist and everything if fixed. To the point he can go out in drag! Really this is just to much of important issue for the character to just fix like that. And on top of it we don't get to see any of it other than how his family deals with the issue.

[Natalija · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yet another winner from Dev Bentham. I devoured this book in one afternoon and wished there was more.

I'm both happy and sad to see this wonderful series come to an end. On the one hand, I'll miss the characters, but on the other - everyone got their happily ever after, and ultimately, that's the reason why I read romance. Needless to say, I'll be re-reading these books again. Highly recommended!

*I received this book as a prize in the M/M Romance Group 4 Year Anniversary Celebration

[Shelby P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well she saved the best for last! Loved this book! Loved Kenny and George wasn't too bad either. The plot was great. This was the most aptly titled book in the series. Loved the meaning behind the title. Loved how the relationship between Kenny and George evolved because it was very realistic. And I loved how the book ended.

And you know what? You can learn new things from romance novels. I googled Purim and the Hebrew Bible and have a better understanding of Judaism than I did before. How about that?

[Fangtasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fell in love with Kenny, wanted to kick George's butt several times, but it all worked out in the end, just as it should.

Good, but the previous installment was the best of the series, Sacred Hearts.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was probably my least favourite of the series. I understand George had trauma, but the way he expected Kenny to live a half-life without compromise was frustrating. I would have liked to see some of the therapy sessions on-page as well.
I also found the time jumps jarring - I'm just not sure there needed to be so many years between things. Am I supposed to believe Kenny went along with this dubcon-only sex life for over a year?
Some positives: I liked seeing everyone coming together at the end, although I'd forgotten how everyone knew each other. I also liked Cheryl, and George's mum was very sweet.

[Sevin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a sweet little story.

[Annabeth Albert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've loved Dev Bentham's Tarnished Souls series so much. Four Jewish heroes, 4 Jewish holidays, and 4 really unique settings--unlike some series, each book in the series is set in a different locale. Chicago, Madison, Mexico, and finally California. The result is a series where each book truly does stand alone. And this book is particularly diabolical because George and Kenny get a very brief mention in each of the other books, but this is the story of their own relationship told in vignettes over a several year period. For me, I loved her narrative voice here so much. As always, it's a first person narrator, and George really carries the story so well. Unlike some multi-year arcs, it didn't feel choppy at all. He's also one of her most tortured heroes with an angst ridden backstory, and I really appreciated how delicately she straddled the line between happy resolution and realism. HUGE bonus points for mentioning therapy and for including it in George's transformation post-black moment. When George mentioned the $$$ he spent in therapy, I wanted to stand up and cheer. And I really appreciated that she had the family ultimately accept George and Kenny, but that it wasn't easy for them & that it was a process. And it doesn't hurt that this is easily her hottest book yet.

[Len Evans Jr · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author saved the best for last! The first 3 books in this series were incredible, this one is just a little bit better. George & Kenny's story is awesome! Now I just wish there were more books in the series about all the amazing guys the author created. It feels like I know them all so well. I want to know what comes next.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Recommended Read. Bread, Salt & Wine, the final installment of Dev Bentham’s Tarnished Souls series, is a poignant, yet ultimately uplifting romance. Please click HERE to read my review in its entirety.

[CB · Rating 5 out of 5]

The 4th book in the series but it is actually about an established couple in the first 3 books. The author does it very well and reading it last works well even though this couple's story is actually the first on the timeline - I'm glad she wrote about them since they always seemed like they would have a great story, and they did!

[Anke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful finish to a wonderful series:) Yes, most of the time I was rather angry with George and felt with poor Kenny, until George pulled himself together. Yes, the end was perfect. Sad to leave them.

[Cyndi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent story of love, forgiveness, and second chances. Keep an eye on the dates - the timeline does jump ahead quickly in some chapters.

[Antonella · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

A good book, I admit I didn't read the rest of the series. See review by Sandra.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fantastic ending to a great series. I really like this author's writing.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

kindly donated by the author for the M/M romance group's anniversary event

4.5 stars rounded up
reviewette to follow

[Zane Kage · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars - my favorite of the series

[Linda-Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard hitting, provoking, heartbreaking but enjoyed it.