This could be Heaven or this could be Hell.*
Fifteen-year-old Jess is on a mission from God . . . or to God. Or, maybe even away from God. She's trapped in the backseat with her older sister as her parents head to California to await the Rapture. They've left their home in Alabama, and are credit-carding their way across the U.S.A. Dad thought the girls would enjoy seeing the real America before they're whisked off to their heavenly reward, but so far they've mostly seen the inside of the car, and cheap motel rooms. Jess is really starting to have her doubts about this whole enterprise.
. . . I was thinking about the rapture and being lifted into the clouds with all of the other chosen ones. I didn't want to die on earth or up in the clouds. I wanted God, if He did exist, to stay where he was, just like He always had. And I wanted my life to be different and better, but I wanted to be the one responsible for changing it.
This trip has been a real eye-opener, leaving her questioning her beliefs, and wondering about her father's sanity.
It was his thing, not believing in anything but God, as if to believe in anything else --- man's landing on the moon, global warming --- would be disloyal.
Elise, her sister, the girl their mother believes to be "too beautiful and naive" serves as both Jess's best friend, and occasional tormentor. She's carrying a secret that she's shared only with Jess. Now, their roles, so firmly established before the trip are not so so rock solid anymore.
I wanted to be like my sister, who made friends and mistakes easily.
But Jess is also puzzled by Elise.
Who was she really? Was she the person who rode bikes with me and jumped on the trampoline, or a careless drunk who went off with strange men and did God-knows-what?
Like her or not, and I'm still not sure if I did, Elise is pretty entertaining. Like Jess, she's no longer sure if she believes in a higher power.
"What about you?" she said. "Do you feel the presence of God when you're in church, or do you just stare at people's asses and try not to yell curse words at the top of your lungs? Because that's what I do."
And I liked her mocking attitude toward the impending rapture.
"On Saturday night, I'm going to take off all my clothes and leave them on the grass at whatever shithole motel we're staying in, and then I'm going to hide in a bush and watch everybody freak out," she said.
Is this book really worth five stars? Eh - maybe not to you, but I really enjoyed it - mainly because of Jess, our narrator. Her voice, her attitude, her uncertainty - - If I wasn't the good daughter, I wouldn't know what I was, and . . . my desires weren't that unreasonable, and why was my body made to want things it shouldn't want? - made this one a treat for me. I had religion shoved down my throat as a young girl, and I asked myself some of these very same questions. If you've asked them yourself, then maybe this book is for you.
I wanted to go back to the time when I hadn't thought about whether or not I believed, when I'd gone to church and Sunday school and passed out tracts and it never occurred to me to question any of it. Now everything was in question, all at once, and it mattered.
*Yes, I know, I can't believe I quoted Hotel California, written by Don Felder, Don Henley, and Glenn Frey, but, dammit - it seemed appropriate. Any trip with loved ones can be Heaven or Hell.
(But, usually it's Hell.)