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Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations 5e
Writer, broadcaster, and wit Gyles Brandreth has completely revised Ned Sherrin's classic collection of wisecracks, one-liners, and anecdotes. With over 1,000 new quotations throughout the media, it's easy to find hilarious quotes on subjects ranging from Argument to Diets, from Computers to the Weather. Add sparkle to your speeches and presentations, or just enjoy a good laugh in the company of Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Joan Rivers, Kathy Lette, Frankie Boyle, and friends.
'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams
'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen
'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller
'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert
'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett
'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American General Oliver P. Smith
'Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)' Douglas Adams
'Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends' Woody Allen
'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight' Phyllis Diller
'Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit' Elizabeth Gilbert
'The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it' Terry Pratchett
'Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction' American General Oliver P. Smith
465 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 2013
About the author
Gyles Brandreth
467 books424 followersFull name: Gyles Daubeney Brandreth.
A former Oxford Scholar, President of the Oxford Union and MP for the City of Chester, Gyles Brandreth’s career has ranged from being a Whip and Lord Commissioner of the Treasury in John Major’s government to starring in his own award-winning musical revue in London’s West End. A prolific broadcaster (in programmes ranging from Just a Minute to Have I Got News for You), an acclaimed interviewer (principally for the Sunday Telegraph), a novelist, children’s author and biographer, his best-selling diary, Breaking the Code, was described as ‘By far the best political diary of recent years, far more perceptive and revealing than Alan Clark’s’ (The Times) and ‘Searingly honest, wildly indiscreet, and incredibly funny’ (Daily Mail). He is the author of two acclaimed royal biographies: Philip Elizabeth: Portrait of a Marriage and Charles Camilla: Portrait of a Love Affair. In 2007/2008, John Murray in the UK and Simon & Schuster in the US began publishing The Oscar Wilde Murder Mysteries, his series of Victorian murder mysteries featuring Oscar Wilde as the detective.
As a performer, Gyles Brandreth has been seen most recently in ZIPP! ONE HUNDRED MUSICALS FOR LESS THAN THE PRICE OF ONE at the Duchess Theatre and on tour throughout the UK, and as Malvolio and the Sea Captain in TWELFTH NIGHT THE MUSICAL at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Gyles Brandreth is one of Britain’s busiest after-dinner speakers and award ceremony hosts. He has won awards himself, and been nominated for awards, as a public speaker, novelist, children’s writer, broadcaster (Sony), political diarist (Channel Four), journalist (British Press Awards), theatre producer (Olivier), and businessman (British Tourist Authority Come to Britain Trophy).
He is married to writer and publisher Michèle Brown, with whom he co-curated the exhibition of twentieth century children’s authors at the National Portrait Gallery and founded the award-winning Teddy Bear Museum now based at the Polka Theatre in Wimbledon. He is a trustee of the British Forces Foundation, and a former chairman and now vice-president of the National Playing Fields Association.
Gyles Brandreth’s forebears include George R. Sims (the highest-paid journalist of his day, who wrote the ballad Christmas Day in the Workhouse) and Jeremiah Brandreth (the last man in England to be beheaded for treason). His great-great-grandfather, Benjamin Brandreth, promoted ‘Brandreth’s Pills’ (a medicine that cured everything!) and was a pioneer of modern advertising and a New York state senator. Today, Gyles Brandreth has family living in New York, Maryland, South Carolina and California. He has been London correspondent for “Up to the Minute” on CBS News and his books published in the United States include the New York Times best-seller, The Joy of Lex and, most recently, Philip Elizabeth: Portrait of a Royal Marriage.
A former Oxford Scholar, President of the Oxford Union and MP for the City of Chester, Gyles Brandreth’s career has ranged from being a Whip and Lord Commissioner of the Treasury in John Major’s government to starring in his own award-winning musical revue in London’s West End. A prolific broadcaster (in programmes ranging from Just a Minute to Have I Got News for You), an acclaimed interviewer (principally for the Sunday Telegraph), a novelist, children’s author and biographer, his best-selling diary, Breaking the Code, was described as ‘By far the best political diary of recent years, far more perceptive and revealing than Alan Clark’s’ (The Times) and ‘Searingly honest, wildly indiscreet, and incredibly funny’ (Daily Mail). He is the author of two acclaimed royal biographies: Philip Elizabeth: Portrait of a Marriage and Charles Camilla: Portrait of a Love Affair. In 2007/2008, John Murray in the UK and Simon & Schuster in the US began publishing The Oscar Wilde Murder Mysteries, his series of Victorian murder mysteries featuring Oscar Wilde as the detective.
As a performer, Gyles Brandreth has been seen most recently in ZIPP! ONE HUNDRED MUSICALS FOR LESS THAN THE PRICE OF ONE at the Duchess Theatre and on tour throughout the UK, and as Malvolio and the Sea Captain in TWELFTH NIGHT THE MUSICAL at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Gyles Brandreth is one of Britain’s busiest after-dinner speakers and award ceremony hosts. He has won awards himself, and been nominated for awards, as a public speaker, novelist, children’s writer, broadcaster (Sony), political diarist (Channel Four), journalist (British Press Awards), theatre producer (Olivier), and businessman (British Tourist Authority Come to Britain Trophy).
He is married to writer and publisher Michèle Brown, with whom he co-curated the exhibition of twentieth century children’s authors at the National Portrait Gallery and founded the award-winning Teddy Bear Museum now based at the Polka Theatre in Wimbledon. He is a trustee of the British Forces Foundation, and a former chairman and now vice-president of the National Playing Fields Association.
Gyles Brandreth’s forebears include George R. Sims (the highest-paid journalist of his day, who wrote the ballad Christmas Day in the Workhouse) and Jeremiah Brandreth (the last man in England to be beheaded for treason). His great-great-grandfather, Benjamin Brandreth, promoted ‘Brandreth’s Pills’ (a medicine that cured everything!) and was a pioneer of modern advertising and a New York state senator. Today, Gyles Brandreth has family living in New York, Maryland, South Carolina and California. He has been London correspondent for “Up to the Minute” on CBS News and his books published in the United States include the New York Times best-seller, The Joy of Lex and, most recently, Philip Elizabeth: Portrait of a Royal Marriage.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
April 11, 2018
This is that rare item, a useful and clearly set out research tool that is also an enjoyable read...In fact it's so enjoyable that one tends to dip in to find something, and suddenly it's an hour later and it's sucked you in and amused you all that time. BUT since Gyles Brandreth has taken over as editor it is becoming diluted cheapened and generally runs the risk of losing all the magic that Ned Sherrin had originally captured. Brandreth clearly lacks an ounce of originality in his opportunist and self important self. Look up 'quotations ' in the book and many of them reflect exactly the Brandreth style. I can only imagine that OUP grabbed at the 'PR potential' when choosing a 'TV Star' Brandreth ...'WOW' a TV star. Brandreth-is now adding the understandable crime of nepotism to his dodgy reputation with some quotes from his son that simply don't stand up to the quality required. I have children so I have sympathy for anyone falling into the nepotism trap...but there is no place for it in an OUP book that has a reputation to keep up. So wonderful book despite the foolish editor, but OUP... wake up ...you are being dumbed down in a dangerously and potentially fatal spiral.
November 7, 2021
Lots of fun
I enjoyed this book very much. The quotes are quite humorous and cover many different categories. I actually read it cover to cover because it was so entertaining.
I enjoyed this book very much. The quotes are quite humorous and cover many different categories. I actually read it cover to cover because it was so entertaining.
September 29, 2022
Plenty of useful quotations. Memorize some and you can be a successful raconteur! One little nit...Gloria Grahame was married to
Nicholas Ray, not to whomever you credited the quote.
Nicholas Ray, not to whomever you credited the quote.
October 19, 2013
I got this book from Goodreads first-reads. It was my first time to win anything and- I won't deny it- it was like Christmas had come early when I received it in the mail.
If only that feeling of excitement had lasted past the first twenty pages.
As the title implies, this book is a dictionary and it is certainly organised like one. While I am sure that this is very convenient when the reader is searching for something in particular (which is usually the case with dictionaries), when you have to read it front to back in order to write a review, like I did, then after a while the structure becomes exhausting and makes the book seem less like entertainment and more like a chore.
What was a bit of a let down to me about this dictionary was the number of times that I found a quotation really funny. If I want to be honest (and I do), I am not the kind of person to laugh out loud easily. Starting this book though, I expected that I would at least be fairly amused while reading it. That's not to say that I could not find the humour in most of the selected quotations, but that the times that that was my kind of humour were not as many as I would have liked. What probably contributed to that was the suprising number of quotations that were basically famous people badmouthing other famous people. Some remarks I'll admit were witty, but most I found just plain spiteful.
On another note, it is obvious that there was a lot of research put in this book and a big effort was made to make sure that the right people were credited, and that the reader was aware of the certain context of each quotation. In this aspect it certainly lived up to my expectations.
To sum up, I would say that I liked this book. I definitely didn't love it, and I would never read it this way again, but I liked it well enough to give it 3 stars.
If only that feeling of excitement had lasted past the first twenty pages.
As the title implies, this book is a dictionary and it is certainly organised like one. While I am sure that this is very convenient when the reader is searching for something in particular (which is usually the case with dictionaries), when you have to read it front to back in order to write a review, like I did, then after a while the structure becomes exhausting and makes the book seem less like entertainment and more like a chore.
What was a bit of a let down to me about this dictionary was the number of times that I found a quotation really funny. If I want to be honest (and I do), I am not the kind of person to laugh out loud easily. Starting this book though, I expected that I would at least be fairly amused while reading it. That's not to say that I could not find the humour in most of the selected quotations, but that the times that that was my kind of humour were not as many as I would have liked. What probably contributed to that was the suprising number of quotations that were basically famous people badmouthing other famous people. Some remarks I'll admit were witty, but most I found just plain spiteful.
On another note, it is obvious that there was a lot of research put in this book and a big effort was made to make sure that the right people were credited, and that the reader was aware of the certain context of each quotation. In this aspect it certainly lived up to my expectations.
To sum up, I would say that I liked this book. I definitely didn't love it, and I would never read it this way again, but I liked it well enough to give it 3 stars.
October 23, 2015
“Don’t take life so seriously. You won’t get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
Want to Read
December 30, 2016I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14341312
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/14341312
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews