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126 pages, Paperback
Published November 16, 2013
Deep in the night, I awoke screaming, sat up, and sobbed. Fearful of the neon flowing from my eyes, I wiped them, then smelt and tasted the tears, but they had no smell or taste. Just regular tears. Relieved, I finally cried without restraint, sobbing, like Adam opening his eyes to a fake paradise. My Eve was a prostitute. My room was always dark and wet. If I sometimes opened the window to let out the foul smell of books, I saw the world under the neon crosses befouled with greater darkness and corruption than was in my room. Because the fake paradise to which my eyes had opened was so frightening, I sobbed loudly. My mother was awakened and came upstairs to my attic room.
“I’m sorry, Mother.”
My mother patted my shoulder for a long time.
“I’ll really start studying now.”
Although our desires were different, the difference was not so great — I wanted to forget myself. I wanted to forget Seoul. Dripping with sweat, I tried to move my hips, but my consciousness became clearer, and Seoul became bigger. I could not come.
Could any country be better? They’re all made by humans. — Let me put it another way. Humans prefer to choose their hell if they’re going to have to suffer in it. Do you understand? I am trying to go someplace where my constitution can endure things even slightly more easily.
People now talk about sex as if talking about the scores from the previous evening’s baseball game. Of course, the dialogue of the two characters will become more sophisticated due to the nature of the book that brought them together.
Misreading is the fate of an author and the right of every reader. And the author of this book was born with more of this fate than any other author. However you read the book, it is dedicated to your inner experience.