The Fried Twinkie Manifesto: and other tales of disaster and damnation

by Ryan Moehring

Whether solving biblical foreskin mysteries, having his head split open by a crowbar-wielding man named Thor or getting busted for pickpocketing in a remote Mexican desert, Ryan Moehring reveals in his debut collection of stories and essays, The Fried Twinkie Manifesto, that his irreverent wit and capacity for uncovering nuggets of insight from the rubble of the mundane make him one of humor’s most promising newcomers.

While maintaining a voice unmistakably his own, Moehring evokes the wild imagination of Tom Robbins, the soul of Sedaris, and the wisdom of Vonnegut. Though readers will more often than not find themselves laughing out loud, Moehring’s eye for the profound and his unyielding honesty ensure that they are just as likely to cry—or cringe.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Short Stories

226 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 31, 2011

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a nice collection of humorous essays, written by a guy who's seen and done all the sorts of stuff I should have seen and done before I married, had kids, and got old and crotchety.

Highlights include:

- a loving tribute to an unforgettable grandfather

- how to outsmart a bully

- some hilarious and touching confessions about old memories stirred up by Facebook friends

- mastering meditation to join the Fraternal Order of Enlightened Ones - "Booya! I did it in a day, and it took you six years of sitting under a tree. In your face, Buddha!"

- speculation as to what the biblical King Saul may have done with his foreskin collection

- and my absolute favorite, which concerns God being too concerned about "Gay Day" at Disney World to stop a tsunami headed for Thailand

-here are some excerpts from the conversation between God and Gabriel:

GABRIEL: "Lord, now that we’ve only got forty-five minutes before the tsunami starts claiming its victims, isn’t it about time you started inflicting your wrath on earth’s homosexuals?"

GOD: "That’s the spirit, boy— I knew you had it in you!"
God rolled up the camouflaged sleeves of his robe, turned his “Everything is Bigger in Heaven” baseball cap backwards, and spoke the holy incantation of queer destruction. In the blink of an eye, a massive, mile-wide tornado dropped to the ground in the middle of a farming community in central Nebraska, destroying everything in its path. Barns were leveled, cows were flung through the air, and a family of four was killed when their house collapsed upon them.
" Yeehaw! That’ll show those homos who's boss!"

GABRIEL: "Pardon me, Lord, but I’m not sure how sending a tornado to the middle of Nebraska is going to send a message to homosexuals in Florida. There doesn’t seem to be any correlation. You don’t actually think there are any gay people in that farm town, do you?"

GOD: "Of course not, Gabriel. I’ll just have Pat Robertson get on the television again and tell the world that the tornado was an act of retribution for the sins of America’s homosexual community. How much clearer could I be?"

GABRIEL: "Well, Lord, you could just tell them yourself, or better yet, make homosexuality acceptable."

GOD: "You have absolutely no imagination, Gabriel. None."

Priceless!

[Shannon Mitchell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blegh. Not a good writer. No coherent thoughts or feel. Mysogynistic comments at times when he's trying to be funny. Super bummed to read this. Skip this author and read Dave Hill or Sedaris if you want funny essays.

[Angief · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book from GoodReads and was excited to read it. It is hilarious; I actually found myself laughing out loud. I will definitely be reading more by Moehring.

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been going through my TBR and choosing books that have been on there the longest. I have no idea how this one ended up there but I decided to read it anyway. I went into it thinking it was a short story collection but it is actually a book of essays. It was pretty disjointed but there were some genuinely laugh out loud parts. Some of the humor was pretty offensive though, so I wouldn't say I'd recommend this to anyone. I don't really know what the point of this was either.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up because I like memoirs and I liked the title. Straightforward autobiographical essays are interspersed with satirical pieces that tend to strike one note and hold it overly long. Moehring has been compared to David Sedaris, and I guess Sedaris also writes some satirical fiction, although I prefer his autobiographical essays. As far as comparisons go, Moehring reminds me more of Josh Hanagarne (The World's Strongest Librarian), for his honesty and self-deprecating humor. I warmed to Moehring more and more as the book progressed, and in the end grew quite fond of him, and of his book.

[Hope · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book, and the author specifically, got increasingly obnoxious the more I read. I really just paged through the last half. Less David Sedaris than conventional White Bro with tired cliche ideas about life. The unfunny story he had rejected from The Onion--and still thought fit to include in the book--tells you everything you need to know. Related: I'm very disappointed with Kindle Unlimited.

[Mira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very much enjoyed this memoir. Reads like a casual conversation in a bar with a friend who always has a good story to tell. Many times I laughed aloud, and I wonder if the author will try his hand at fiction.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave this a fair shot. I read through three chapters and 25% of the book. Nothing about it was funny and I just can't waste my time when there are so many books I want to read. I'm glad I got this one for free.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of these short stories are laugh aloud funny. Most are amusing and fun. I think that Ryan Moehring aspires to be David Sedaris and he has some of those qualities but he's not there yet. I do recommend the book.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Fried Twinkie Manifesto is absolutely hilarious, and incredibly thoughtful. Be warned: you will laugh so hard you'll be in tears, and then you will cry because you'll be so moved by the lessons illustrated through this collection of short stories.

[Kellie Pape · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hil....arious. Laughed out loud.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is hilarious. Just my type of humor.

I don't need to write a huge review because you will either read it, or you won't. Either way, I think it was awesome.

[Melinda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well-written but the content kind of made my skin crawl. It is apparent the author is kind of a dirt-bag.

[S.J. Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This collection of personal essays started off relatively strong. I really enjoyed the first story, and also thought the "Amber Anderson" story was told well. Unfortunately, as it progressed, it became really, really clear to me why this book was self-published - the author just doesn't have enough good material to fill out a whole book of personal essays. Ultimately, with the exception of the first and third essays, the author didn't seem to have anything to say that hasn't already been said more successfully by other, better authors. The author's voice and the quality of his writing just weren't strong enough to reinvigorate such tired, over-tread ground.

Additionally, around the halfway point, the author's essays turned downright misogynist - I couldn't tell whether he was striving for a Tucker-Max-circa-2004 type of "humor," or was just failing at satirizing that type of misogyny, but either way I found "Reverend Rob & The Baloney Bopper" (yes, that's really the title of the story) and "Failed Prenuptial Clauses" not only misogynist, but also just poorly written and overly reliant on hackneyed, outdated, "b!tches, amiright?"-type tropes. "Public Service Announcement," though less blatantly anti-women, had similar problems, and also annoyed me because it was a blown opportunity - I really liked the premise of the essay, and was extremely disappointed in the execution.

Even when the author's writing isn't actively bad, it lacks focus - there is no clear point or theme or goal to a number of the essays, and whatever he's trying to accomplish gets lost as a result. It reminds me of the experience of reading a pretentious college classmate's LiveJournal - he seems to be aiming for "profound universal truths obliquely hidden behind clever anecdotes," but whatever truth he's trying to get to isn't coming through, and the "clever" anecdotes are just weird and overly focused on genitals and bodily functions (examples: "Dowry," which is essentially a 12 page foreskin joke, and "Caution: Bum Crossing," which is basically an overlong poop joke). The author also apparently has never heard the phrase "show, don't tell" - many, many of the potentially good essays are ruined by his tendency to over-explain what's happening, instead of just describing it ("Reclaiming Cider Creek" is a prime example of this). Additionally, the over-reliance on exposition creates distance between the author and the reader - I felt like someone was telling me about an essay he read, instead of like I was reading the essay myself, and it made it really difficult to connect with the work.

Overall, I'm giving the book two stars because while it was mostly bad, there were the two bright spots I mentioned above, and also because, as self-published works go, it's not the worst thing I've ever come across. (I'm very, very glad I was able to read it for free though - had I paid money to read this book, I'd be seriously regretting the purchase.)

[Terri Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book to be not evocative of any of the authors mentioned in the description - Robbins, Sedaris, and Vonnegut. This was a bait and switch. It tried to hard to funny. It sort of screamed - look at how banal yet interesting my life is, just like Sedaris! It didn't need to do that. The stories might have been good on their own merit if they were rounded out and complete. Finally put it down 66% through.

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this because I'm obsessed with Augustine Burroughs and I heard Ryan Moehring is similar. I'd somewhat agree. There were a few odd moments in his life he wrote about that would embarrass most people, and I did laugh. My favorite thing about this memoir is his beliefs on religion because ours are the same. If refreshing when someone can find the words to explain how you feel. I'm not good with words. Ha ha

[Kerri Fairclough · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will give this one a solid 3.5. Some of the stories made me laugh out loud and I found the writing style to be easy to read. Theh author tries a little too hard to be 'meaningful' than I would have liked, especially in the final story. It is a challenge to buy into his melancholoic walk down memory lane after his story about foreskins.

[Aimee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most of this the essays in this book or mediocre at best. The story about his grandfather (Fatman and Robbin') is my favorite and I loved it. Without that, the I would have given this book one start because some of the essays are boring and not very good and there are many places where it's just flat out misogynistic. No thanks.

[Cory · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway. The title hooked me. I enjoyed the stories, they were fun and had me chuckling. Though the end of the stories always tied back to their beginning, I sometimes was vaguely anxious in the middle when the story seemed to wander.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll begin by saying that this book isn't for everyone. I am part of the intended audience, being as how I am in my 30's and I do not have an aversion to crude language.

Great first book, despite the writing requiring a bit of polishing. I look forward to seeing more of this author.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Generally enjoyable. It reads kind of like David Sedaris, but much more crude. That is not to say that I had a problem with crude, it is a lot of fun. Basically, just a book of fun biographical sketches.

[Tracey Neet Niblack · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED this book. Hilarious! I laughed out loud. It is completely inappropriate for those with modest sensibilities, but terribly funny. What an interesting adventure this man's life if, even if only half of it it true.

[Joy Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Waste of time

I read this book off and on for a while. It didn't hold my interest enough that I would be anxious to read more, but enough to finish it. It's not a well written book, part of it is humorous, other parts are lame. Not a book I would recommend.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had me laughing, cringing, and snickering enough to have family ask if I was really OK reading that odd book....

[Mavis · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay. Stories weren't un-amusing.

[Monica Lauer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, quirky memoir

[Georgia Brant · Rating 2 out of 5]

Entertaining

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and full of heart

I will admit, I wasn't immediately taken by this book but after a few chapters. it grew on me. Such honest humor and it gets better with every chapter.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay, there were times where I laughed uncontrollably. But most of the time I thought this was better suited for my son-in-law instead of a little old lady like me.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

I just could not get into this book. I can't say that it's bad, it just couldn't grab and hold my attention. I couldn't even finish reading the book.