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SMS von meinem Hund: Die abgedrehten Messages meines besten Freundes
My dog sends me texts. Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego BatDog were born. Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn. For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.
240 pages, Paperback
First published October 25, 2012
35 people are currently reading
520 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews
December 23, 2014
yes, it's true - i am reviewing ANOTHER one of these silly little humor books instead of the 10 other more serious littry books that i am supposed to be reviewing right now. (and by "serious littry," i simply mean that not one of them is monsterporn.) but it's been a rough week, and sometimes i just need a laugh and a braincation, and then i need to share that laughter with youse people, because the internet is my friend! so here i am. sharing.
like everything else in the humor section these days, this book started on the internet: http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/.
and in case you can't tell by the title of the book, the premise is that these are texts between an englishman and his bulldog, named "dog." there are maybe 200 or so texts in here, many of which are totally corny, but there were plenty that made me chuckle, and so i am sharing them with you. because that's almost like writing a review.
dog is mostly just your typical dog, except for the texting abilities. he likes to wake his owner up and break things and eat things and smell things, he hates the postman, he has a nemesis named "catcat" and his alter ego is "batdog." that's about all you need to know. just your typical, mischievous bulldog, causing trouble.
this one might be my favorite, since i recently received a PM on here from a stranger, excoriating me for not using capital letters, despite their own letters being filled with misspellings and malapropisms. i am going to pretend my accuser was a dog, because that makes it less irritating.
but dog manages to pay back the criticism several pages later, which is not how my own experience turned out.
in short - a fun book, even if many of them are groan-worthy. and i promise i will get to those other 10 reviews soon-soon.
like everything else in the humor section these days, this book started on the internet: http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/.
and in case you can't tell by the title of the book, the premise is that these are texts between an englishman and his bulldog, named "dog." there are maybe 200 or so texts in here, many of which are totally corny, but there were plenty that made me chuckle, and so i am sharing them with you. because that's almost like writing a review.
dog is mostly just your typical dog, except for the texting abilities. he likes to wake his owner up and break things and eat things and smell things, he hates the postman, he has a nemesis named "catcat" and his alter ego is "batdog." that's about all you need to know. just your typical, mischievous bulldog, causing trouble.
this one might be my favorite, since i recently received a PM on here from a stranger, excoriating me for not using capital letters, despite their own letters being filled with misspellings and malapropisms. i am going to pretend my accuser was a dog, because that makes it less irritating.
but dog manages to pay back the criticism several pages later, which is not how my own experience turned out.
in short - a fun book, even if many of them are groan-worthy. and i promise i will get to those other 10 reviews soon-soon.
December 25, 2020
This was kind of cute for a while, then just fell back on the usual assortment of fart, poop and neutering jokes you would expect. Worth $.99.
May 19, 2015
Este libro es lo mejorrrrrrrrr, lo necesito en físico.
November 14, 2012
This is about the level my brain is at, after four days of flu.
I wouldn't actually recommend buying this, since the tumblr account has all the same stuff, here. There are little illustrations and stuff but really, unless you're looking to buy it as a silly gift for someone with the right sense of humour.
But it did make me smile in spite of my flu, so it gets plenty of stars.
I wouldn't actually recommend buying this, since the tumblr account has all the same stuff, here. There are little illustrations and stuff but really, unless you're looking to buy it as a silly gift for someone with the right sense of humour.
But it did make me smile in spite of my flu, so it gets plenty of stars.
November 9, 2012
My boyfriend and I picked this up off the shelf at Barnes and Noble and stood there reading it and trying our hardest not to laugh out loud too much. I was literally in tears. Read the whole book in the store.
Definitely witty and ridiculous.
Definitely witty and ridiculous.
July 25, 2014
This book is pretty freaking hilarious. I loved it. I was smiling, laughing and enjoying it. Definitely a good book when you need something to smile about. It contains "text" conversations between a bulldog, "Dog" and his owner (or Butler as Dog is fond of referring to him - among other names). It has text messages ranging from the simple:
"Fetch the Stick.
No
Fetch the Stick
No
Fetch the Stick.
No
Fetch the Stick
NO
FETCH THE STICK
BUY A BOOMERANG DIPSHIT"
To the more elaborate:
"HAD A GO ON YOUR TREADMILL
Oh God
LEARNT A VALUABLE LESSON
FIRST RULE OF TREADMILL IS…
DO NOT STOP TO POO ON TREADMILL"
There were also various texts about recurring themes; the postman, Dog's activities, Dog destroying shit, general randomness and of course the adventures of BatDog:
"Me and CATCAT did BATTLE in the garden
Ok
It was a CLASH OF THE TITANS
Right
AN ALL OUT WAR
Who won?
THERE ARE NO REAL VICTORS IN WAR
Got your ass kicked
Little bit"
What can I say, I'm easily amused - but I think this book really captures some of our canine companions everyday lives and what they may be thinking about (not to mention what they would be asking/talking/texting about if they could). There were a few scattered illustrations throughout the book that added to the charm. I absolutely adored it and it now holds a spot on my keeper shelf. It's hilarious, silly and fun what more could you ask for?
I will now leave you with a few more memorable conversations between Dog and his person.
"I WANT A DIVORCE
Thats not how our relationship works
I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT
Right
I WANT MORE FROM LIFE
I've got pizza
I SUDDENLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS"
and
"Do you think I could be a police dog?
No
I don't think you've got the nerve for it.
WTF? My nerves are made of STEEL
Dude, you jump at the sound of your OWN FARTS
THEY SNEAK UP ON ME"
Can't forget the postman now can we?
"Postman's out cold.
HOW??
I TOOK HIM DOWN
FFS LEAVE HIM ALONE
I JUMPED OUT OF THE UPSTAIRS WINDOW
OH MY GOD
SHOUTED "IT'S RAINING BATDOG BITCH"
SAVED THE WORLD
YOU BELLY-FLOPPED A POSTMAN DICKHEAD"
Note: The Format for the text conversations didn't quite come out how I wanted it and I'm too lazy to do the indent but the Bold text is Dog's side of the conversation.
"Fetch the Stick.
No
Fetch the Stick
No
Fetch the Stick.
No
Fetch the Stick
NO
FETCH THE STICK
BUY A BOOMERANG DIPSHIT"
To the more elaborate:
"HAD A GO ON YOUR TREADMILL
Oh God
LEARNT A VALUABLE LESSON
FIRST RULE OF TREADMILL IS…
DO NOT STOP TO POO ON TREADMILL"
There were also various texts about recurring themes; the postman, Dog's activities, Dog destroying shit, general randomness and of course the adventures of BatDog:
"Me and CATCAT did BATTLE in the garden
Ok
It was a CLASH OF THE TITANS
Right
AN ALL OUT WAR
Who won?
THERE ARE NO REAL VICTORS IN WAR
Got your ass kicked
Little bit"
What can I say, I'm easily amused - but I think this book really captures some of our canine companions everyday lives and what they may be thinking about (not to mention what they would be asking/talking/texting about if they could). There were a few scattered illustrations throughout the book that added to the charm. I absolutely adored it and it now holds a spot on my keeper shelf. It's hilarious, silly and fun what more could you ask for?
I will now leave you with a few more memorable conversations between Dog and his person.
"I WANT A DIVORCE
Thats not how our relationship works
I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT
Right
I WANT MORE FROM LIFE
I've got pizza
I SUDDENLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS"
and
"Do you think I could be a police dog?
No
I don't think you've got the nerve for it.
WTF? My nerves are made of STEEL
Dude, you jump at the sound of your OWN FARTS
THEY SNEAK UP ON ME"
Can't forget the postman now can we?
"Postman's out cold.
HOW??
I TOOK HIM DOWN
FFS LEAVE HIM ALONE
I JUMPED OUT OF THE UPSTAIRS WINDOW
OH MY GOD
SHOUTED "IT'S RAINING BATDOG BITCH"
SAVED THE WORLD
YOU BELLY-FLOPPED A POSTMAN DICKHEAD"
Note: The Format for the text conversations didn't quite come out how I wanted it and I'm too lazy to do the indent but the Bold text is Dog's side of the conversation.
March 18, 2016
This is a hysterically funny book full of texts from a dog to his owner. They are exactly what you would imagine your dog would be thinking. Most of the conversations are laugh out loud funny and the ones that aren't at least make you smile. This is a great book for any dog lover!
May 6, 2016
My book is made by October Jones. It 19s Fiction. The genre of the book is Fantasy Comedy. I chose to read this book because my peers recommended it and I really like comedy books. The book it about a dog writing texts to his human owner. The central character is the Dog (BullDog) and his owner (A Human) The character changes or evolves throughout the book by learning how to texts better. There is no really general plot unless you count the house which we really don't see.
The story made me laugh. The characters obviously didn 19t seem real but it was really funny. The story made me really think about how fun it would be to know what dogs are thinking about. As a conclusion I want to say that this book was a really great book and I would recommend a mature audience 12+ to read it
January 2, 2013
This is a hysterical read and is really well thought out showing what would happen if your dog could text and the questions, queries and random thoughts that would appear in your inbox as a result. This is perfect for any dog owner and you will never look at your dog the same way again (I'm sure mine has some of these thoughts you know!).
October 20, 2014
I needed this after a very stressful novel. I'm not a dog person (or a cat person) but this is hilarious. Well, most of it is hilarious. Like 90% of it. I think this would be a nice, quick read for anyone. It took me maybe 30-minutes to finish this so it might be good to read while waiting for the ... I dunno, rice to cook?
July 3, 2014
Read this in one sitting. Cute text messages sent between dog and owner. I really liked the book and several times went to go read some of this out loud to my parents (I am 10 yrs old) I recommend it!
January 11, 2022
Parenting fail with this one. I thought it was going to be family friendly fun so I passed it over to my young kids. 100% not child appropriate! Now have two kids asking what a donkey scrotum is thanks to October Jones.
December 19, 2012
This was the perfect pick me up! Hilarious, thoughtless, enjoyable reading at its finest. Must have a sense of humor and tolerance for vulgar language... But very relatable in a unique way.
August 6, 2017
Very funny. Both dog and owner need their mouths washed out with soap.
January 4, 2020
Lustig zum Lesen für zwischendurch. Ich hoffe dass mein Hund später aber nicht so gemein zu mir ist 😂
June 30, 2022
OMG! I laughed out loud at most of this!
February 11, 2023
Very funny and cute
July 27, 2014
Hysterical some great giggles here for any dog-owner.
Dog has attitude - and a mobile for texting.
Dog has attitude - and a mobile for texting.
May 15, 2017
Quite a few great ideas have made the transition from the internet into book form. Many of them are quite hilarious on the internet, particularly when they pop up every so often, but just don’t work out nearly so well when published all together in a book. Mil Millington’s “Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About” was one such internet sensation that didn’t translate well into novel form and, sadly, October Jones’ “Texts From Dog” is another.
It’s a fantastic idea, about what a dog would text to an owner if it could text. As dog owners might predict, many of the texts involve chasing balls or sticks, eating and breaking things and either barking at or chasing other people and animals, most commonly the postman and a local cat and squirrels. It’s interesting to see a dog’s perspective on these things and particularly what a dog might think of its owner, which is rarely complimentary unless there is food or a bowl involved.
However, it is when the texts branch away from standard dog behaviour that the texts are at their funniest. When dog pulls a curtain rail down to use as a cape and becomes Batdog, to start battling his enemy Catcat, this is generally quite funny. There are also moments of fine observational humour, such as when dog drinks some Red Bull, which is brilliantly described and the moment where he gets into trouble with the police or decides to leave a game of fetch part way through.
Sadly, there is a lack of consistency in the approach, as dog is sometimes brilliant at seeing through his owner’s plans, but is more frequently portrayed as a dog without much of what we would recognise as human intelligence. There are also moments where dog’s opinions of his owner are that he is a complete idiot, but at other times, he treats him something akin to a butler, which seems more akin to cat behaviour towards humans than dog behaviour. Occasionally, these contrasts will occur on the same double page spread and the inconsistency is a little confusing and shows how reading occasional texts on an internet page works better than reading a lot together in a book.
Whilst the content is generally quite good fun, the way it’s been put together in this book is a bit of a let-down. Three of the texts are repeated, which is a shame when there are only around 200 in here to start with and some of them aren’t in the right order, meaning that an event referred to early in the book only makes sense when you get to the corresponding earlier events later in the book. The cartoons are also amusing, but in a book where there are only 2 texts – the main content of the book – to a page, removing one of them to replace it with a drawing that doesn’t shine any light on the text, feels like space filling.
There are moments of great amusement here, but these are not consistent enough to make for a great book. “Texts From Dog” is something worth looking out for, but not in this format, when it is available for free in a format which actually makes it more fun.
It’s a fantastic idea, about what a dog would text to an owner if it could text. As dog owners might predict, many of the texts involve chasing balls or sticks, eating and breaking things and either barking at or chasing other people and animals, most commonly the postman and a local cat and squirrels. It’s interesting to see a dog’s perspective on these things and particularly what a dog might think of its owner, which is rarely complimentary unless there is food or a bowl involved.
However, it is when the texts branch away from standard dog behaviour that the texts are at their funniest. When dog pulls a curtain rail down to use as a cape and becomes Batdog, to start battling his enemy Catcat, this is generally quite funny. There are also moments of fine observational humour, such as when dog drinks some Red Bull, which is brilliantly described and the moment where he gets into trouble with the police or decides to leave a game of fetch part way through.
Sadly, there is a lack of consistency in the approach, as dog is sometimes brilliant at seeing through his owner’s plans, but is more frequently portrayed as a dog without much of what we would recognise as human intelligence. There are also moments where dog’s opinions of his owner are that he is a complete idiot, but at other times, he treats him something akin to a butler, which seems more akin to cat behaviour towards humans than dog behaviour. Occasionally, these contrasts will occur on the same double page spread and the inconsistency is a little confusing and shows how reading occasional texts on an internet page works better than reading a lot together in a book.
Whilst the content is generally quite good fun, the way it’s been put together in this book is a bit of a let-down. Three of the texts are repeated, which is a shame when there are only around 200 in here to start with and some of them aren’t in the right order, meaning that an event referred to early in the book only makes sense when you get to the corresponding earlier events later in the book. The cartoons are also amusing, but in a book where there are only 2 texts – the main content of the book – to a page, removing one of them to replace it with a drawing that doesn’t shine any light on the text, feels like space filling.
There are moments of great amusement here, but these are not consistent enough to make for a great book. “Texts From Dog” is something worth looking out for, but not in this format, when it is available for free in a format which actually makes it more fun.
November 26, 2025
I came for Dog. Stayed for the jokes.
Dog is based on the author's real English bulldog Cooper, as well as his own slightly twisted imagination. This was based on a popular social media thingy, but has jokes that haven't appeared before. This isn't just jokes about not fetching the stick or threatening to poo on the laptop. There are also a lot of jokes that have nothing to do with dogs (but are still funny), and some serious Batman fanboy action. There are also jokes about texting in general.
The book was written for a UK audience, but I think most Americans will get the jokes ... and Google UK things like Bonio (Milkbone). It's also meant for those under 40. I'm 56, so a couple of jokes went under my head due to the pop references I wasn't familiar with. I also learned a couple of new phrases like "dick-slap". (I'm not sure what surprised me most -- that some guys dick-slap others, or that dick-slap actually means slapping with a dick, and not a metaphor.)
The illustrations are cute in a Ren & Stimpy kind of way, but they pale in comparison to the texts.
I got some bad news today soon after I started this book. I waited a few hours before returning to it, and it actually made me laugh out loud even though I'm still stressed out.
You can currently find this at the Internet Archive.
Dog is based on the author's real English bulldog Cooper, as well as his own slightly twisted imagination. This was based on a popular social media thingy, but has jokes that haven't appeared before. This isn't just jokes about not fetching the stick or threatening to poo on the laptop. There are also a lot of jokes that have nothing to do with dogs (but are still funny), and some serious Batman fanboy action. There are also jokes about texting in general.
The book was written for a UK audience, but I think most Americans will get the jokes ... and Google UK things like Bonio (Milkbone). It's also meant for those under 40. I'm 56, so a couple of jokes went under my head due to the pop references I wasn't familiar with. I also learned a couple of new phrases like "dick-slap". (I'm not sure what surprised me most -- that some guys dick-slap others, or that dick-slap actually means slapping with a dick, and not a metaphor.)
The illustrations are cute in a Ren & Stimpy kind of way, but they pale in comparison to the texts.
I got some bad news today soon after I started this book. I waited a few hours before returning to it, and it actually made me laugh out loud even though I'm still stressed out.
You can currently find this at the Internet Archive.
February 16, 2023
Was passiert, wenn dein Hund plötzlich ein Smartphone hat und dich die ganze Zeit mit Nachrichten zutextet? Einige Nachrichten waren wirklich unterhaltsam und jeder Hundebesitzer kann sie nachvollziehen, andere wiederum waren so unter der Gürtellinie und total daneben das man eher nur mit dem Kopf schütteln anstatt lachen konnte.
May 18, 2024
I was in a reading slump Doodoo work been absolutely crazy so I thought I’d pick up some thing simple and goofy and silly as a dog owner I can relate to some of The jokes though After about a couple of them it just gets really boring really repetitive really quick there might be some people out there who find this amusing I just found it boring after a while.
June 9, 2021
Amusing, irreverent one-sitting read consisting entirely of texts between an English bulldog and his owner. May need to brush up on your British slang a bit. Makes me wonder what kind of conversations my cats would have if they could text.
May 22, 2017
Clever, but not as clever as my dog would be at texting. ;-)
January 18, 2018
Laughed out loud!
May 23, 2018
Funny
That BATDOG is something else! Funny content of things I would think a dog would want to talk about. Can’t wait for the next edition.
That BATDOG is something else! Funny content of things I would think a dog would want to talk about. Can’t wait for the next edition.
July 20, 2018
Dog thoughts
I’ve had dogs for a long time and really got a kick out of this book. It is just as silly as I believe my dogs to be.
I’ve had dogs for a long time and really got a kick out of this book. It is just as silly as I believe my dogs to be.
November 20, 2018
Cute and funny
January 29, 2019
This was such a short book. Very hilarious, and totally worth a read, light though it may be.
April 11, 2019
Wasn't as entertaining as I'd hoped it would be. Still, there were a few funny ones I hadn't seen before.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews