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Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept: Protect children from unsafe touch by teaching them to always speak up
' Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ' is a beautifully illustrated children's picture book that sensitively broaches the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch. We teach water and road safety, but how do we teach Body Safety to young children in a way that is neither frightening nor confronting? This book is an invaluable tool for parents, caregivers, teachers and healthcare professionals to broach the subject of safe and unsafe touch in a non-threatening and age-appropriate way. The comprehensive notes to the reader and discussion questions at the back of the book support both the reader and the child when discussing the story. Suitable for children aged 3 to 12 years.
Story is a great medium to discuss difficult topics. ' Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ' was written to ensure children are armed with knowledge if they are ever touched inappropriately; and from the first unsafe touch, a child will understand to tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed. It is an important book and one that all children need to hear. Forewarned is forearmed! This book is supported by free activities and child protection resources on our website. ' Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ' is available in 7 languages including English, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and French.
Body Safety Education (also known as protective behaviours or child sexual abuse prevention education) involves so much more than focusing on stranger danger. In fact, 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser and only 5% will be strangers. It is also crucial for children to learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable (in fact, we teach it's best not to have secrets in families, only happy surprises). The trouble with secrets is that they are the main tool used by child molesters to ensure children remain silent about the abuse. Ensuring the secret is kept is of utmost importance to the perpetrator. Therefore, threats and insisting no-one will believe the child is used as a way of controlling the child to be silent. Through Body Safety Education parents and children will learn the importance of there being no secrets between us.
Parents and carers need to be on the lookout for signs of sexual abuse in children and grooming behaviour which is often focused on themselves as well as their children. The answer to the question, 'How do I keep kids safe from sexual abuse?' is simple; teach them Body Safety Education from a very young age. Always use the correct names for their genitals, ensure they know that the parts covered by their swimsuit are known as their private parts, and that private means 'just for you', and consequently not for sharing. This is known as the swimsuit lesson. When you teach your child that 'your body belongs to you' you are empowering them with confidence through knowledge.
Body Safety Education also involves teaching your child that no-one can touch their private parts, and if they do, they must tell a trusted adult until believed.
Kids need to be safe as well as feel safe. Teaching a child that private means 'just for you' and that their private parts are found under their swimsuit is a valuable lesson that can prevent child molestation.
The sexual abuse of children is regrettably very common. Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
You can help stop child abuse by teaching social and physical boundaries to kids and that some parts are not for sharing. A child needs be able to proclaim loudly and with conviction that, 'My body belongs to me', 'I am the boss of my body' and that 'From my head to my toes, I say what goes'.
Please note: the author uses 'safe and unsafe touch' or 'inappropriate touch' as preferred terms for good and bad touch which may be confusing for a child as bad touch (inappropriate touch) can often feel good, i.e. be pleasurable and this can cause confusion for a child.
Story is a great medium to discuss difficult topics. ' Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ' was written to ensure children are armed with knowledge if they are ever touched inappropriately; and from the first unsafe touch, a child will understand to tell a trusted adult and keep on telling until they are believed. It is an important book and one that all children need to hear. Forewarned is forearmed! This book is supported by free activities and child protection resources on our website. ' Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept ' is available in 7 languages including English, Spanish, German, Chinese, Japanese, Italian and French.
Body Safety Education (also known as protective behaviours or child sexual abuse prevention education) involves so much more than focusing on stranger danger. In fact, 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser and only 5% will be strangers. It is also crucial for children to learn that they must never keep secrets that make them feel bad or uncomfortable (in fact, we teach it's best not to have secrets in families, only happy surprises). The trouble with secrets is that they are the main tool used by child molesters to ensure children remain silent about the abuse. Ensuring the secret is kept is of utmost importance to the perpetrator. Therefore, threats and insisting no-one will believe the child is used as a way of controlling the child to be silent. Through Body Safety Education parents and children will learn the importance of there being no secrets between us.
Parents and carers need to be on the lookout for signs of sexual abuse in children and grooming behaviour which is often focused on themselves as well as their children. The answer to the question, 'How do I keep kids safe from sexual abuse?' is simple; teach them Body Safety Education from a very young age. Always use the correct names for their genitals, ensure they know that the parts covered by their swimsuit are known as their private parts, and that private means 'just for you', and consequently not for sharing. This is known as the swimsuit lesson. When you teach your child that 'your body belongs to you' you are empowering them with confidence through knowledge.
Body Safety Education also involves teaching your child that no-one can touch their private parts, and if they do, they must tell a trusted adult until believed.
Kids need to be safe as well as feel safe. Teaching a child that private means 'just for you' and that their private parts are found under their swimsuit is a valuable lesson that can prevent child molestation.
The sexual abuse of children is regrettably very common. Approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
You can help stop child abuse by teaching social and physical boundaries to kids and that some parts are not for sharing. A child needs be able to proclaim loudly and with conviction that, 'My body belongs to me', 'I am the boss of my body' and that 'From my head to my toes, I say what goes'.
Please note: the author uses 'safe and unsafe touch' or 'inappropriate touch' as preferred terms for good and bad touch which may be confusing for a child as bad touch (inappropriate touch) can often feel good, i.e. be pleasurable and this can cause confusion for a child.
34 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
May 27, 2022
عالی
کتابی که به نظرم هر مادر و پدری باید برای کودکش بخره و بخونه
چقدر قشنگ با یک داستان میشه به بچهها چیزهای مهم رو یاد داد.
و چقدر صحبتی با بزرگترهایی که اول کتاب نوشته شده، خوب بود. اینکه کتاب رو چطور بخوانید تا تاثیر بهتری روی بچهها داشته باشه.
کتابی که به نظرم هر مادر و پدری باید برای کودکش بخره و بخونه
چقدر قشنگ با یک داستان میشه به بچهها چیزهای مهم رو یاد داد.
و چقدر صحبتی با بزرگترهایی که اول کتاب نوشته شده، خوب بود. اینکه کتاب رو چطور بخوانید تا تاثیر بهتری روی بچهها داشته باشه.
January 14, 2023
لطفا در حقِ بچههای فینگیلی عزیزتون لطف کنین و این کتاب رو براشون بخونین💙☁️🐳
و لطفا قبلش دستورالعمل خوندنش رو که نویسنده توی مقدمه آورده، مطالعه کنین🌙
و لطفا قبلش دستورالعمل خوندنش رو که نویسنده توی مقدمه آورده، مطالعه کنین🌙
April 2, 2022
پیشگیری بهتر از درمان است!
انتظار نداشتم کتاب کودک سیوچهار صفحهای با موضوعی تکراری (آزار جنسی کودکان) توی نقطه اوجش تحت تاثیر قرارم بده. به بچهها این رو معرفی خواهم کرد.
توی دنیایی خیالی، اربابی ثروتمند و مشهور از پسربچهی زنی مراقبت میکنه که توی قصرش مشغول به کاره. همه اون ارباب رو دوست دارند، اما اون موقع بازی با پسربچه جاهای خصوصی اون رو طوری قلقلک میده که باعث ناراحتی بچه میشه. «نباید به کسی بگی، وگرنه تو و مامانت بدبخت میشید و این تقصیر تو خواهد بود!»
March 4, 2020
I don’t ever rate children’s books on here but this is by far the best, most comprehensive, realistic book on child sex abuse prevention that I’ve read with my kids and with three kids, I’ve paged through/read a lot of them! Wish I’d had this one for the older two when they were little.
December 29, 2023
A beautifully written and illustrated childrens book that tackles one of the most serious issues in the entire world: Children being touched in ways they shouldn't be.
The heroes are put inside a fairytale kingdom, where the main hero, who wants to be a knight, visits an old castle alongside with his mother who works there. There, he meets the lord of the castle, who seems friendly at first and like to tickle the little boy, until the tickling reaches to the boy's private parts.
The author, does a great job at potraying the feelings of invasiveness and the manipulation that goes on, in order to make the boy stay silent, because the lord threatens him by saying that he will fire his mother and they will be banished from the castle.
But when the boy just can't take it anymore, he tells his mother everything. The story, puts emphasis on the importance that feeling safe to confess this has, as well as on the bravery of the little boy.
I understand that this topic is a hard one and no one really wants to have that conversation with their kids, but in my opinion, this book serves as a great introduction to the Body Safety Education topic. I am also counting as a positive, the fact that it covers a wide range of ages when it comes to approachability, and it was overall a positive reading experience.
If you made it this far, congratulations!
'Til next time, take care :) :) :)
The heroes are put inside a fairytale kingdom, where the main hero, who wants to be a knight, visits an old castle alongside with his mother who works there. There, he meets the lord of the castle, who seems friendly at first and like to tickle the little boy, until the tickling reaches to the boy's private parts.
The author, does a great job at potraying the feelings of invasiveness and the manipulation that goes on, in order to make the boy stay silent, because the lord threatens him by saying that he will fire his mother and they will be banished from the castle.
But when the boy just can't take it anymore, he tells his mother everything. The story, puts emphasis on the importance that feeling safe to confess this has, as well as on the bravery of the little boy.
I understand that this topic is a hard one and no one really wants to have that conversation with their kids, but in my opinion, this book serves as a great introduction to the Body Safety Education topic. I am also counting as a positive, the fact that it covers a wide range of ages when it comes to approachability, and it was overall a positive reading experience.
If you made it this far, congratulations!
'Til next time, take care :) :) :)
September 7, 2022
باتوجه به وضعیت فرهنگی و عرف جامعهی ما، این کتاب نیاز به شفافسازی داره برای کودک و به این سادگی نمیشه خوند و رد شد.
پس لازمه قبلش چیزهایی از قبیل حریم شخصی بدن کودکتون بهش یاد بدید و براش روشن کنین که میتونه بهتون اعتماد کنه تا اگر اتفاقی افتاد باهاتون درمیون بذاره. پس اگر میخواید این کتاب رو برای کسی بگیرید، حواستون باشه!
پس لازمه قبلش چیزهایی از قبیل حریم شخصی بدن کودکتون بهش یاد بدید و براش روشن کنین که میتونه بهتون اعتماد کنه تا اگر اتفاقی افتاد باهاتون درمیون بذاره. پس اگر میخواید این کتاب رو برای کسی بگیرید، حواستون باشه!
June 4, 2016
I think this is a great book - a wonderful way to teach such a sensitive and difficult topic (of abuse and unwanted touching). But I don't think the recommended ages are correct. The author recommends from age 2.5 to 12. But I have a 2 year old. I don't think she would understand the story, or really even be able to sit for that long to hear the story. There is a lot of text on each page. I would guess 4 years old would be a better age to introduce this book.
I do still like how the subject matter was presented, and would like to have this book for when my daughter is older.
If you'd like to hear the book read aloud, go to this website: http://somesecrets.info/book-reading
I do still like how the subject matter was presented, and would like to have this book for when my daughter is older.
If you'd like to hear the book read aloud, go to this website: http://somesecrets.info/book-reading
December 22, 2023
Helps in discussion with children about sexual abuse
July 7, 2015
No one wants to have this talk with their kids, but it is really important! This book approached the subject of unwanted touching and sexual abuse in a manner that is approachable (doesn't get too in-depth) for very young children.
Little Sir Alfred's mum works for the famous Lord Henry, who seems very nice and offers to look after Alfred. But one day he dies something not-so-nice, and Alfred must decide whether to tell his mummy- he knows some secrets should never be kept.
Every parent should read this with their young children and open this channel, no matter how hard it may be to talk about.
Little Sir Alfred's mum works for the famous Lord Henry, who seems very nice and offers to look after Alfred. But one day he dies something not-so-nice, and Alfred must decide whether to tell his mummy- he knows some secrets should never be kept.
Every parent should read this with their young children and open this channel, no matter how hard it may be to talk about.
December 5, 2016
Reading this to my class this week, as we have a 'body safety' theme. Obviously, regarding the nature of the book, I wouldn't really rate it as a fun or enjoyable read. However, it is effective and generates discussion, as it is meant to. I would maybe not have this as the first book you read regarding body safety, and I would also have a discussion about secrets, safety and safe spaces first.
November 10, 2020
This children's picture book contained realistic cartoon images of a small boy dressed as a knight and his mother. This book illustrates a story about a young boy who goes to a castle with his mother. His mother works at the castle cleaning, and while she is cleaning the boy runs around and plays with the lord of the castle. During playtime, the lord would tickle the boy and at the beginning it was funny. Until the lord started to tickle him in his private parts. He was told not to tell anyone about this or he would fire his mother and they would be poor. A few of these interactions occurred before the young boy was found by his mother in his bed. She told him that some secrets should never be kept and that no matter what it is she will still love him unconditionally. He told his mother everything, and she told him that he was the bravest knight she had ever met. This story emphasizes the need for the child experiencing this type of sexual abuse the opportunity to feel safe and reassured that nothing bad will happen to them ever again occur once they tell you. This book also could be the beginning of opening the conversation with its simplistic diction and plotline that reveals the bravery of the young boy.
September 9, 2018
Effective - 4*
For the next two weeks in PSHE, we're learning about the concept of keeping something confidential or secret. I do prefer to teach PSHE through stories as it makes the learning impersonal, which can definitely make the learning easier as children don't have to think about them. I do give time for them to reflect on how this affects them personally.
I don't think I'm going to introduce this in the first week. I think I am going to introduce it in the second week as we are going to do posters on when and when not to keep a secret first as this is a heavy book.
WARNING: this book contains ideas related to inappropriate touch.
As I am not a parent, I am going to skip these parts (as we will be listening to a reading by the author) and I'm just going to say the little knight is hurt by the king. I don't agree with the author's recommendation of available for children 3-12 years old. I don't think 3-year-olds would not necessarily understand what's going on.
Yeah effective read but I wouldn't want to read this book regularly as it reminds us all that there are sick people children need protecting from.
For the next two weeks in PSHE, we're learning about the concept of keeping something confidential or secret. I do prefer to teach PSHE through stories as it makes the learning impersonal, which can definitely make the learning easier as children don't have to think about them. I do give time for them to reflect on how this affects them personally.
I don't think I'm going to introduce this in the first week. I think I am going to introduce it in the second week as we are going to do posters on when and when not to keep a secret first as this is a heavy book.
WARNING: this book contains ideas related to inappropriate touch.
As I am not a parent, I am going to skip these parts (as we will be listening to a reading by the author) and I'm just going to say the little knight is hurt by the king. I don't agree with the author's recommendation of available for children 3-12 years old. I don't think 3-year-olds would not necessarily understand what's going on.
Yeah effective read but I wouldn't want to read this book regularly as it reminds us all that there are sick people children need protecting from.
October 1, 2022
این کتاب با موضوع "مراقبت از خود در برابر آزارهای جنسی" نوشته شده است. قصه درباره شوالیه کوچکی است که در یک قلعه زندگی میکند، مادر پسر در این قلعه کار میکند، رئیس قلعه ابتدا با پسر بازی میکند و بعد آزارهای جنسی را شروع میکند و شوالیه کوچولو را تهدید میکند که از این بازیها چیزی به مادرش نگوید، مگر نه از قلعه اخراج میشوند و این تقصیر اوست.
اگر دنبال این هستید که به کودک خود درباره این مسئله آموزش بدهید، این کتاب، کتاب مناسبی برای شروع نیست، خواندن داستان این کتاب به پیش زمینههایی مثل شناخت حریم خصوصی و نقاط خصوصی بدن نیاز دارد. از طرفی قصه شوالیه کوچولو و فضاسازی زندگی در قلعه و اسمها و القاب سخت، قصه را پر ابهام میکند و درک آن برای کودک سخت میشود. شاید فضای قلعه باعث ایجاد ترس در کودک شود.
در نهایت، خواندن این کتاب را به والدین و مربیان و روانشناسان حوزه کودک توصیه میکنم. اما برای کودکان ایرانی به طور عام، خیر. مخاطب این کتاب باید به صورت خاص پیدا شود و در صورت نیاز، به صورت هوشمندانه برای کودک مطالعه شود.
اگر دنبال این هستید که به کودک خود درباره این مسئله آموزش بدهید، این کتاب، کتاب مناسبی برای شروع نیست، خواندن داستان این کتاب به پیش زمینههایی مثل شناخت حریم خصوصی و نقاط خصوصی بدن نیاز دارد. از طرفی قصه شوالیه کوچولو و فضاسازی زندگی در قلعه و اسمها و القاب سخت، قصه را پر ابهام میکند و درک آن برای کودک سخت میشود. شاید فضای قلعه باعث ایجاد ترس در کودک شود.
در نهایت، خواندن این کتاب را به والدین و مربیان و روانشناسان حوزه کودک توصیه میکنم. اما برای کودکان ایرانی به طور عام، خیر. مخاطب این کتاب باید به صورت خاص پیدا شود و در صورت نیاز، به صورت هوشمندانه برای کودک مطالعه شود.
October 26, 2022
Some Secrets Should Not Be Kept is about a little knight who is taken care of by Lord Henry. Every day after school they would play and Lord Henry would tickle him. One day Lord Henry touches the little knight in a way that does not make him feel comfortable. Lord Henry tells him it's ok but the little knight doesn't like it. Alfred the knight tried to tell his mother he didn't want to play with Lord Henry but she wouldn't listen. Lord Henry threatened that she would lose her job if Alfred told her what happened. Some Secrets Should Never Be kept is about telling the truth even if you are afraid of what will happen. Since Alfred told his mother what happened and in the end, Lord Henry was forced to leave the castle and left their lives forever.
Currently reading
February 19, 2024This book was a good book to show children that they should speak up if something is wrong. The Lord Henry should tickle the young boys private parts in a way he felt uncomfortable. Lord Henry told him he could never tell anyone or else his mother would loose his job. The boy felt sad and told his mother he didn't want Lord Henry to watch him anymore. This happened numerous times, and the boy cried and felt lonely. I think this book could be incorporated into a classroom if the parents were comfortable with it. But I think this would be a better book for a parent to read to their own child. This could be a good way to show younger children that these types of things are wrong and that children should always feel safe to speak up.
July 19, 2024
کتاب راجع به محافظت از بچه ها در برابر آزارهای جنسیه!
اینکه بچه ها بدونن اگر مشکلی براشون پیش اومد این راز رو نباید مخفی نگه دارن و حتما باید با والدینشون صحبت کنن!
قطعا مشخصه به خاطر تابوهایی که تو ایران وجود داره خیلیا مقابل این کتاب گارد میگیرن
ولی به نظر من کتاب اصلا چیز ترسناک یا چیزی اضافه تر از اون چه بچه ها باید بدونن نداشت!
دیگه ساده ترین کاری که میشه تو این زمینه برای بچه های کوچیکمون بکنیم اینه که نقاط خصوصی بدنشون رو بهشون آموزش بدیم و بگیم کسی بدون اجازه و به زور نباید این نقاط بدنشون رو ببینه، لمس کنه و..
و اینکه اگر این مسئله براشون پیش اومد باید حتما با ما در میون بذارن!
تو این کتاب هم فقط به همین موضوع اشاره شده بود و چیز بیشتری نداشت که دونستنش برای بچه ها لازم نباشه..
اینکه بچه ها بدونن اگر مشکلی براشون پیش اومد این راز رو نباید مخفی نگه دارن و حتما باید با والدینشون صحبت کنن!
قطعا مشخصه به خاطر تابوهایی که تو ایران وجود داره خیلیا مقابل این کتاب گارد میگیرن
ولی به نظر من کتاب اصلا چیز ترسناک یا چیزی اضافه تر از اون چه بچه ها باید بدونن نداشت!
دیگه ساده ترین کاری که میشه تو این زمینه برای بچه های کوچیکمون بکنیم اینه که نقاط خصوصی بدنشون رو بهشون آموزش بدیم و بگیم کسی بدون اجازه و به زور نباید این نقاط بدنشون رو ببینه، لمس کنه و..
و اینکه اگر این مسئله براشون پیش اومد باید حتما با ما در میون بذارن!
تو این کتاب هم فقط به همین موضوع اشاره شده بود و چیز بیشتری نداشت که دونستنش برای بچه ها لازم نباشه..
October 26, 2020
I really liked this book and think that it is very important to teach your child to speak up if something like this happens to them. A lot of the time this happens to children and goes unnoticed because they are too scared to speak up or they were threatened by the perpetrator. I highly recommend this book to parents.
May 10, 2022
I read this to my son when he was about 3 and he was really too young. I am planning on rereading it to him this year. It can be challenging to read a book like this to your child if you are a survivor of sexual child abuse, and at the same time I'm so thankful to these kind of authors for bringing an awareness to our children that we did not have.
October 20, 2023
A lot of books around body-safety are non-fiction. This book is fiction, which is wonderful. It makes the message so much more engaging. A good story for talking about body autonomy and 'good and bad' touch.
October 20, 2018
This book will help open the conversation about sexual abuse with your kids in a way they can understand. At the same time, it is written in a way as to not scare them.
April 25, 2019
Better for younger aged kids and for prevention of sexual abuse. Not very helpful for understanding and processing sexual abuse.
May 20, 2019
Bài học trong câu chuyện khá rõ ràng. Tuy vậy, cuốn sách vẫn chưa thực sự gây được hứng thú với trẻ em về cốt truyện và hình vẽ. Mình khá thích phần câu hỏi thảo luận!
August 27, 2021
I would not use this with a large group. It is more a one on one book where you can discuss and talk together.
January 12, 2023
Good book on teaching kids about unhealthy touch
February 25, 2023
This book is a must-read for children. It touches on a vital subject and is also very confronting. We need to protect our children, and this book is an eye-opener. A must-read!
August 4, 2023
The illustration is really beautiful. The story is gentle yet clear, not really vague. I think it's a great children book to teach children in a nicest way.
December 3, 2023
Good teaching for the kids
کودک-نوجوان
May 11, 2024بچهی فرضی که قصه رو براش میخوندم ازم پرسید لردهنری چرا اینکارو میکرد؟ و خب نمیدونستم باید چی بگم.
May 13, 2024
I personally found this a disturbing way of dealing with the topic of body boundaries.
November 25, 2024
Such a good book to teach your kids at a young age what touch is not ok, how you should always tell and that it’s not your fault. Great questions in the back as well.
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