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Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World
In Life The New Rules for Winning in the Real World , six-time New York Times #1 best-selling author Dr. Phil McGraw abandons traditional thinking and tells you the ugly truth about the users, abusers, and overall “bad guys” we all have in our lives. He also reveals the secrets of how they think and how they get to and exploit you and those you love. You’ll gain incredible insight into these negative people, which he refers to as BAITERs (Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters, Reckless), and you’ll gain the tools to protect yourself from their assaults. Dr. Phil's new book gives you the “Evil Eight” identifiers so you can see them coming from a mile away, as well as their “Secret Playbook,” which contains the “Nefarious 15” tactics they use to exploit you and take what is yours mentally, physically, socially and professionally. Life Code then focuses on you and your playbook, which contains the “Sweet 16” tactics for winning in the real world.
Edgy, controversial and sometimes irreverent, Dr. Phil again abandons convention to prepare you to claim what you deserve and claim it now. You take flying lessons to learn to fly, swimming lessons to learn to swim, and singing lessons to learn to sing. So, why not take winning lessons to learn to win?
Edgy, controversial and sometimes irreverent, Dr. Phil again abandons convention to prepare you to claim what you deserve and claim it now. You take flying lessons to learn to fly, swimming lessons to learn to swim, and singing lessons to learn to sing. So, why not take winning lessons to learn to win?
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First published January 1, 2012
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About the author
Phillip C. McGraw
86 books518 followersPhillip Calvin McGraw, best known as Dr. Phil, is an American television personality, psychologist and author who is the host of the psychology themed television show Dr. Phil. He gained celebrity status following appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 283 reviews
December 18, 2012
This is a great book. I have been reading books on success and life strategies for years. This by far tops them all. Dr. Phil did a great job of simplifying these concepts so that anyone, regardless of education, can really benefit from reading it. It is a "in your face" type of book that throws away all the conventional wisdom about life, parenting, etc., and gives readers a dose of reality. This book may have just changed my life. If you are a fan of Dr. Phil's brand of wisdom this book is for you. In our modern world you simply can't afford to NOT read this book. Five stars from me!
May 20, 2017
I came away with the impression that Dr. Phil either thinks that Americans are stupid, or that they simply cannot think for themselves. My bet is he didn't count on any Canadians reading it. He comes across as very arrogant, and is so narcissistic that he cannot even see that he is describing himself. One passage that I remember where he says he does not judge people before he gets to know them, but then the scene in the casino, his opinion that he is not surprised the guys wife thinks he is a no-good s-o-b; is that not passing judgement? I guess Dr. Phil's days of drunk and dis-orderly conduct are over. He has never done anything to be ashamed of. Wait, isn't that one of his own rules, is it never your own fault??
My opinion is that this book if fine for people who need someone to give them direction in life, but personally the only reason I think it was ever published is because his son owns the publishing company. How convenient. It helps that you have enough money to buy whatever you want as well I guess.
Happy reading. For myself, I think I will stick to watching his daytime show, which I do enjoy and would highly recommend.
My opinion is that this book if fine for people who need someone to give them direction in life, but personally the only reason I think it was ever published is because his son owns the publishing company. How convenient. It helps that you have enough money to buy whatever you want as well I guess.
Happy reading. For myself, I think I will stick to watching his daytime show, which I do enjoy and would highly recommend.
September 23, 2013
A friend recommended this book. It is my first read by Dr. Phil and will probably be my last. It shuffles up old advice that we have all heard before - such as you can't achieve goals till you make goals, have a clear action plan etc. - and offers up some new information on people he calls BAITERS. They are backstabbers, abusers, imposters, takers, exploiters, reckless. I wonder how long it took his team to think up that cute acronym? Anyway, BAITERS are described as soulless monsters with no remorse. I think it is probable that people at Dr. Phil's level, living in LA would run into these folks. Middle class folks in the Midwest tend to get screwed over by other middle class folks in the Midwest just trying to get ahead. They don't look or act like monsters. And frankly, the list of characteristics he gives to those people - you'd have to be pretty sick to have all of them and yet everyone has one or two of the characteristics. Long story short? Not helpful for me.
March 2, 2013
As I’ve said already several dozen times, I received this book via the courtesy of a GoodReads drawing. Despite that repetitious and kind consideration, I give my unfiltered feedback below.
To further the probably unnecessary preamble, I feel it relevant to note that I’m not at all the self-help Dr. Phil type. I don’t typically subscribe to the sea of “fix your life” books that are available. This isn’t, of course, because my life is perfect but I estimate that the ways in which it is imperfect are not sufficiently of concern to warrant the reading of an entire book. These things take hours to read, after all! But, in the interest of flinging my net of interests to the furthest reaches of the literary genres, I signed up for this book just, as they say when at sea, for the halibut.
So to talk about this book properly one must do so in parts. The first section, about 100 pages or so, goes on at length to describe the people in this world who are, to put it as simply as possible, just plain jerkfaces. Dr. Phil calls them ‘BAITER’s but they can be summed up as those people who abuse the system to get whatever the heck they want. The good doctor provides a list of warning signs for detecting such people and also what to do about them once you’ve found them. In general I found the whole thing edifying but also not especially practical. I know that such people exist but I was at a loss to name anyone in my immediate acquaintance whom I would term a ‘BAITER’. For someone out there, this will serve as a valuable guide.
The next functional bit, about 80 pages as I count it, amounts to life coaching. It encourages the reader to be assertive, go after what they want, gives strategies to get it but reminds them that in so doing they shouldn’t fall into the category of people described in the first section. In other words, go after what you want but not at any cost whatsoever. It’s a delicate balance and the book acknowledges and describes that balance effectively.
After global encouragement about life, there’s a helpful and specific chunk about negotiation. This is really a subheading of section two but I think it deserves special consideration since it is a process that is so ubiquitous and misunderstood. If you read nothing else in this book, read chapter 6 (this is non-negotiable; well, really it is since everything’s negotiable, but I digress).
The book closes with a section on passing along all the things you’ve learned in the previous sections to your children. It describes at a high level some of the modern nuances of parenting and how to best deal with these given that the world has changed considerably since we were young-uns (as Dr. Phil might put it).
In summation, this isn’t generally the sort of book I’d normally go for but it has something to say to just about everyone. It’s not a book in which you hang on every word but somewhere in this thing you’ll find something that makes you look up, ponder, and stare briefly into the middle-distance in a thoughtful way. Organizationally the book helps with brief, topical chapters and specific quotes highlighted on each page. You’ll want to skim through to the bits that you care about, the book knows this and is organized in such a way to make that easy. One couldn’t ask for much more than that.
To further the probably unnecessary preamble, I feel it relevant to note that I’m not at all the self-help Dr. Phil type. I don’t typically subscribe to the sea of “fix your life” books that are available. This isn’t, of course, because my life is perfect but I estimate that the ways in which it is imperfect are not sufficiently of concern to warrant the reading of an entire book. These things take hours to read, after all! But, in the interest of flinging my net of interests to the furthest reaches of the literary genres, I signed up for this book just, as they say when at sea, for the halibut.
So to talk about this book properly one must do so in parts. The first section, about 100 pages or so, goes on at length to describe the people in this world who are, to put it as simply as possible, just plain jerkfaces. Dr. Phil calls them ‘BAITER’s but they can be summed up as those people who abuse the system to get whatever the heck they want. The good doctor provides a list of warning signs for detecting such people and also what to do about them once you’ve found them. In general I found the whole thing edifying but also not especially practical. I know that such people exist but I was at a loss to name anyone in my immediate acquaintance whom I would term a ‘BAITER’. For someone out there, this will serve as a valuable guide.
The next functional bit, about 80 pages as I count it, amounts to life coaching. It encourages the reader to be assertive, go after what they want, gives strategies to get it but reminds them that in so doing they shouldn’t fall into the category of people described in the first section. In other words, go after what you want but not at any cost whatsoever. It’s a delicate balance and the book acknowledges and describes that balance effectively.
After global encouragement about life, there’s a helpful and specific chunk about negotiation. This is really a subheading of section two but I think it deserves special consideration since it is a process that is so ubiquitous and misunderstood. If you read nothing else in this book, read chapter 6 (this is non-negotiable; well, really it is since everything’s negotiable, but I digress).
The book closes with a section on passing along all the things you’ve learned in the previous sections to your children. It describes at a high level some of the modern nuances of parenting and how to best deal with these given that the world has changed considerably since we were young-uns (as Dr. Phil might put it).
In summation, this isn’t generally the sort of book I’d normally go for but it has something to say to just about everyone. It’s not a book in which you hang on every word but somewhere in this thing you’ll find something that makes you look up, ponder, and stare briefly into the middle-distance in a thoughtful way. Organizationally the book helps with brief, topical chapters and specific quotes highlighted on each page. You’ll want to skim through to the bits that you care about, the book knows this and is organized in such a way to make that easy. One couldn’t ask for much more than that.
September 9, 2016
Typically this is not a book I would read. Since an acquaintance lent it to me (and highly recommended it) I gave it a chance. I didn't even get 1/4th of the way through before I determined it was a waste of my time.
Is Dr. Phil trying to "BAIT" his readers into continuing to read this book by implying that those that don't are average, below the bell curve kinds of people? ".....If you want to be average; if you want to sit in the middle of the bell curve and "receive" rather than "create" what comes your way and hope nobody takes it from you--then you can stop reading right now, because this book is not for you."
I had no desire to continue reading after this paragraph. I will not be bullied (by an author) into reading a book to try and prove to myself that I am an above average person.
I feel that this book feeds on Paranoia and suspicion which is no way to live life. Everyone makes mistakes and hurts others at some point or another--sometimes unintentionally. I wonder how many people Dr. Phil has hurt in his lifetime? Hmmmm.....
I feel it is wrong to classify so many people as Baiters. Dr. Phil wrote: "I want you...to write down the different categories in which you interact with other people. This may include categories such as work, social, family, sports, hobbies, religion, romantic, and even online. Then I want you to make a list of the people you routinely encounter in each of those categories....What does your gut instinct tell you about each of the people you put on your list? You can categorize them as "safe," "neutral," "suspicious," or "dangerous." You may need to create more sheets if you know a lot of people because I want you to be thorough."
I guess I just find that striving for a more positive outlook in life (and trying to find the good in the people around me) is healthier than looking for the snakes waiting to inject their venom into me that Dr. Phil warns of.
To me this book seemed more about validating how someone feels and does nothing to make their life any better. Dr. Phil uses too many emotional words.
I will turn to more inspirational reads when I feel the need to empower myself concerning relationships with those around me.
Is Dr. Phil trying to "BAIT" his readers into continuing to read this book by implying that those that don't are average, below the bell curve kinds of people? ".....If you want to be average; if you want to sit in the middle of the bell curve and "receive" rather than "create" what comes your way and hope nobody takes it from you--then you can stop reading right now, because this book is not for you."
I had no desire to continue reading after this paragraph. I will not be bullied (by an author) into reading a book to try and prove to myself that I am an above average person.
I feel that this book feeds on Paranoia and suspicion which is no way to live life. Everyone makes mistakes and hurts others at some point or another--sometimes unintentionally. I wonder how many people Dr. Phil has hurt in his lifetime? Hmmmm.....
I feel it is wrong to classify so many people as Baiters. Dr. Phil wrote: "I want you...to write down the different categories in which you interact with other people. This may include categories such as work, social, family, sports, hobbies, religion, romantic, and even online. Then I want you to make a list of the people you routinely encounter in each of those categories....What does your gut instinct tell you about each of the people you put on your list? You can categorize them as "safe," "neutral," "suspicious," or "dangerous." You may need to create more sheets if you know a lot of people because I want you to be thorough."
I guess I just find that striving for a more positive outlook in life (and trying to find the good in the people around me) is healthier than looking for the snakes waiting to inject their venom into me that Dr. Phil warns of.
To me this book seemed more about validating how someone feels and does nothing to make their life any better. Dr. Phil uses too many emotional words.
I will turn to more inspirational reads when I feel the need to empower myself concerning relationships with those around me.
December 21, 2012
Amazingly honest book about how the real world functions today and how to succeed in it. Really opens your eyes to the people you surround yourself with and how to avoid being taken advantage of, while giving you the tools that'll help you get ahead. Sometimes it's hard to read self-help books, but this is a very easy read as if Dr. Phil is speaking directly to you.
Merged review:
Amazingly honest book about how the real world functions today and how to succeed in it. Really opens your eyes to the people you surround yourself with and how to avoid being taken advantage of, while giving you the tools that'll help you get ahead. Sometimes it's hard to read self-help books, but this is a very easy read as if Dr. Phil is speaking directly to you.
Merged review:
Amazingly honest book about how the real world functions today and how to succeed in it. Really opens your eyes to the people you surround yourself with and how to avoid being taken advantage of, while giving you the tools that'll help you get ahead. Sometimes it's hard to read self-help books, but this is a very easy read as if Dr. Phil is speaking directly to you.
May 17, 2013
I was disappointed in this book. The first part was ok, defining toxic people for us. However, I was disappointed that Dr. Phil didn't make an effort to teach how to distance ourselves from those persons if we already have them in our lives. I imagine he doesn't have any problem doing that but there are others who would like an exit strategy spelled out.
The second half of the book was if he was writing a completely different book. In my opinion, he was teaching all of us how to become a clone of himself - goals, aggression, looking out for #1 - similar to those toxic people he spoke about in the first half of the book. A bit confusing, to say the least.
The second half of the book was if he was writing a completely different book. In my opinion, he was teaching all of us how to become a clone of himself - goals, aggression, looking out for #1 - similar to those toxic people he spoke about in the first half of the book. A bit confusing, to say the least.
August 3, 2016
Well, this is my first exposure to Dr. Phil (I don't watch much TV), and I must say I concluded I was listening to an extremely competitive salesman whose head always rules his heart. I, too, look at the world rationally, yet my life is not filled with competition. There is, indeed, SOME competition in my daily life, but MOST of my life is a cooperative venture, and I believe the culture is shifting more in that direction every day.
_Life Code_ left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I do believe, however, that some folks (most likely those with a highly competitive nature or a particular competitive temporary life struggle) might benefit from or be motivated by his words. I would like to see gullible folks be empowered to combat those who seek to commit fraud or worse, and if this book works toward that goal, more power to it. In addition, the parenting advice seems sound, although often unrealistic.
For those whose style is not aggressive and authoritative, and who are searching for wisdom rather than common sense, I recommend, among many others, Deepak Chopra's _The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success_ or Don Miguel Ruiz's _The Four Agreements_.
_Life Code_ left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I do believe, however, that some folks (most likely those with a highly competitive nature or a particular competitive temporary life struggle) might benefit from or be motivated by his words. I would like to see gullible folks be empowered to combat those who seek to commit fraud or worse, and if this book works toward that goal, more power to it. In addition, the parenting advice seems sound, although often unrealistic.
For those whose style is not aggressive and authoritative, and who are searching for wisdom rather than common sense, I recommend, among many others, Deepak Chopra's _The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success_ or Don Miguel Ruiz's _The Four Agreements_.
April 20, 2015
I am very disappointed. I have been avoiding the medias need to tell us the worst of news because I am certain that it is all part of making a buck. Humans are happy to pay for bad news or horrifying stories about the worst of humanity. We see documentaries filled with examples of the worst of us to make a point but also to make money. I don't feel the need to put my body through the hormonal changes of the fight or flight response to these horrible stories when fighting or fleeing don't provide any benefit to the victims while the stress causes harm to me.
I didn't expect Life Code to be a good news book but I am so disappointed that Dr. Phil seems to be following the trend of providing horror and fear for a dollar. First he tells me a horrifying story worthy of a Halloween movie script and goes on to spend the first third of the book telling me what he is going to tell me. Boring, boring and boring!!!
I don't recommend this book at all and if there was a way to get my money back, I would be asking for it.
I didn't expect Life Code to be a good news book but I am so disappointed that Dr. Phil seems to be following the trend of providing horror and fear for a dollar. First he tells me a horrifying story worthy of a Halloween movie script and goes on to spend the first third of the book telling me what he is going to tell me. Boring, boring and boring!!!
I don't recommend this book at all and if there was a way to get my money back, I would be asking for it.
April 4, 2013
This is an excellent book. For most people, I'd give it a 5. However, as a mental health professional, it was what we all know already. I enjoyed reading his process of getting to the organization of his ideas. I am a reality therapist much like Dr. Phil. I don't believe I Jung's caring approach to helping people. In this world, people need to hear the truth. Now, I want my children to read it. They will "hear" things better from others than they do from Mom. They still think Mom is just interfering or bossing or defending. And, I do tend to hold back more with them than with others. I was disappointed that there was very little learning for me. Otherwise, you go, Dr. Phil, for putting the truth out there in black and white!!
April 9, 2013
Poor Poor poor. I've just completed Philip's this new book (audio book version from iTunes store) and it's full of negative thoughts! Descriptions of a hundred types of dubious personalities, plain text illustrations of heinous crimes what criminals do, and advising you to stay away from bad people. From page 1 to the last the author is trying to generalize group of "bad people" but in reality and as I strongly believe, you just can't categorize certain people as evil; good or bad are people's deeds, not people themselves! This book is clearly written for American married woman, suggested by numerous examples of 'other woman' trying to seduce "your" husbands, given in the book :-) a very very poor attempt, Philip!
February 19, 2013
Dr. Phil shares his prospective of trust in today's world. He gives you traits of untrustworthy people and the games they play. He helps you know who you really are and that builds a lot of confidence. More to come!!!
February 23, 2013
I don't normally do the self-help books, but I saw Dr. Phil list the "Sweet Sixteen" -- the skill set that winners have -- on one of his shows. And that's basically why I picked this up. On the show Dr. Phil said something that resonated heavily with me, and it's so simple on it's surface: Winners deal with the truth.
That translates to so many things:
You can't make money if you're not even willing to look at your bank statement. You're not going to get a promotion if you don't understand how your company works. You have to be able to sort out who is truthful and who is deceitful -- if someone's feeding you a pile o' s**t information, you can't do anything useful.
And that's only one of the sixteen points he lists.
Dr. Phil delivers other important tidbits throughout and I like how he separates the world as we "want" it to be with the world as it "is." He could've spent pages explaining why jerks are jerks but instead he breaks it down to: some people are jerks. Here is how jerks behave; here is how to behave around the jerks; here is what to do with the jerks (BAITERs) who are already in your life. It's not about the jerks and fixing them. It's about how real people should take care of themselves.
It's written rather simply and I think there could've been more detail/more real-life, less extreme examples (like taking the BAITER element down to non-murderers/rapists and more of the pain-in-butt-co-worker level that we all have to deal with) of all of his points. But I took notes and I'm trying to digest the information presented...so there's plenty to keep you busy.
That translates to so many things:
You can't make money if you're not even willing to look at your bank statement. You're not going to get a promotion if you don't understand how your company works. You have to be able to sort out who is truthful and who is deceitful -- if someone's feeding you a pile o' s**t information, you can't do anything useful.
And that's only one of the sixteen points he lists.
Dr. Phil delivers other important tidbits throughout and I like how he separates the world as we "want" it to be with the world as it "is." He could've spent pages explaining why jerks are jerks but instead he breaks it down to: some people are jerks. Here is how jerks behave; here is how to behave around the jerks; here is what to do with the jerks (BAITERs) who are already in your life. It's not about the jerks and fixing them. It's about how real people should take care of themselves.
It's written rather simply and I think there could've been more detail/more real-life, less extreme examples (like taking the BAITER element down to non-murderers/rapists and more of the pain-in-butt-co-worker level that we all have to deal with) of all of his points. But I took notes and I'm trying to digest the information presented...so there's plenty to keep you busy.
July 3, 2017
McGraw spent a lot of time spelling out and explaining things that are either common sense or instinctively known by most people. The BAITORS are good to know about but thankfully I have not encountered too many of them. He deviates a great deal in the last part of the book about parenting, bullies, stranger danger, etc. Not sure where that came from. The life code is about setting goals, being true to yourself, setting deadlines, negotiating, getting what you want, and dealing with conflict. I don't think I was his target audience to read this book. I got it on special. And I travel a lot so need to listen to something. I once heard his former business partner say that once McGraw got famous, he left her behind and if the situation had been reversed she would have never done that to him. So even though the book is about not getting screwed by manipulative people, he did exactly what he warns against to this lady whom he was in business with for many years. Out for number one.
September 30, 2013
I didn't like the book.. It is implanting more negativity in our minds and making separation between people. The whole book is convincing us that we are victims and we need to take care of the bad people!! Very basic knowledge, i thought he might be deeper than this.
Also, he speaks about his personal achievements a lot in the book!!! 1 star rating!
Also, he speaks about his personal achievements a lot in the book!!! 1 star rating!
July 4, 2013
I don't know; I found it to be 8 cds of basically useless information. Nothing more than common sense. On the positive side it did wonders for helping me get to sleep at night.
October 28, 2021
Disappointing. The author spends the first 100 pages informing readers that “Beware! There are bad people in this world!” - who wouldn’t already know that?! Unless you’ve been isolated from society and living as a hermit for that past 20 years, we are aware Dr. Phil!
Honestly he comes across as arrogant quite often and as somewhat of a phony. According to his view, you must choose who you want to be in public and stick to that and “never brake character”. Seriously, who would want to live like that?
He often has to explain himself throughout the book because his views are not common sense, like the example I cited previously. He also advocates for “learning what your opponent likes” to use it against him.
There were a few points in the book that did make sense but overall, it’s a poorly written book about an exaggerated treacherous world that is constantly working against you.
Honestly he comes across as arrogant quite often and as somewhat of a phony. According to his view, you must choose who you want to be in public and stick to that and “never brake character”. Seriously, who would want to live like that?
He often has to explain himself throughout the book because his views are not common sense, like the example I cited previously. He also advocates for “learning what your opponent likes” to use it against him.
There were a few points in the book that did make sense but overall, it’s a poorly written book about an exaggerated treacherous world that is constantly working against you.
February 26, 2013
Dr. Phil as usual phrases and explains his life lessons clearly and simply. Very different type of book for him. He tries to give you signs and identification tools to identify friends, relatives and everyone else that may not have you and your families' best interests at heart. He also instructs you how to use these tools not to change your persona but to guard against invasive people who are harmful. I loved this book and keep it on a shelf next to my bed for reference. Vulnerable people everywhere should read and absorb this. I come under this category of course and I highly recommend reading this very informative book.
March 26, 2013
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and plan to have my kids read it, too. Good advice. A lot I've figured out on my own over the years, but good to have it repeated in a more conscise format.
As expected. Another winner from Dr. Phil!
As expected. Another winner from Dr. Phil!
March 23, 2013
As most have, I've seen and been effected by behaviors/scheming that have propelled the lazy, deceitful, manipulative liers to money/power while the honest, ethical, genuinely dedicated people/employees have (at best) been "passed over" or (at worst) quit out of frustration and/or due to being mortally "back-stabbed" reputationally.
And, human nature generally being a seamless continuum, behaviors in the office occur within families, between friends/acquaintences, social assemblies (eg: School Boards, Church Working-Groups).
To my personal frustration, people have generally surrendered to this situation; labeling it as "Office Politics", siting the inevitability of cronyism/nepotism in the work-place whose eradication is as hopeless as that of street-drugs.
Similar to Dr. Phil, I searched for previous work of others in this subject matter. However, I found the works of Dr. Robert D. Hare to be astoundingly pertinent. His "Snakes In Suits" is, in my opinion, spot-on as is the Video rendition of the book "The Art Of Urban Survival; a Family Safety and Self Defense Manual" (by Stefan H. Verstappen). At exactly 18:30 minutes:seconds into the 37:38 long "YouTube" video, the role-play/voice-over is incredibly precise in summarizing the modus operandi of these "bad" people.
Most interestingly, if you can picture the Elevational Path an Airplane takes ((1) accelerating down the run-way, (b) initial lift-off, (c) climbing to cruise-altitude and (d) leveling off), that is the profile/level of influence Predators gain as they "play" their "Mark" ("Target"); described as "Stages": (a) Assessment, (b) Relationship-Building, (c) "Predator's" entrenchment of "Soul-Mate" perception in the "Target's" Mind and (d) the complete surrender of the "Target" to the "Predator".... with one final incidious ("closing") act... abandonment of the "Target" upon his/her usefulness to the "Predator" being expended.
Similar to Dr. Phil, Dr. Hare has developed a Checklist against which a person's behavior ("badness") is evaluated on a Scale of 0 to 40 with such Checklist embraced by America's Justice System.
My opinion is that Dr. Phil's "Life Code" is a "soft" treatment of the subject matter; certainly valid and effective when dealing with "light-weight" to "light-middle-weight" "bad" guys. Dr. Hare's is definitely "heavy-weight" material. (ie: Dr. Phil's book includes a personal letter/"warning" to all "bad" guys while Dr. Hare doesn't. Such implies that Dr. Phil's "bad" guys are soft-core offenders that're somewhat receptive to "criticism". Dr. Hare's "bad" guys are "hard-wired" (unchangable predators) and will gladly take any morsel of information (ie: principles of behavior/behavioral therapy, potential victim's beliefs/attitudes)to add to the arsenal of deceptive/manipulative tactics.)
It's up to the reader to decide whether they're dealing with a pesky neighbor or busy-body office gossiper or a near "Satan Incarnate".
Regardless, I'm overwhelmingly happy that this subject matter is finally being recognized and addressed as an issue that can be delt with for, I believe, exposure is the worst nightmare of and best "weapon" against such Predators.
Where Dr. Hare's earlier work has a tinge of defeatism in it regarding the power (omini-potency) of these "bad" people over their chosen victims, I have valid hope to the contrary. I read of a Corporation's HR Department employing very skilled psychologists and of Employment Interview Models being developed/used that, during the interview process, subtly force-to-the-surface the true character of these perspective employees/"bad" people ('cause they can't help themselves) thru which they're rejected as employee candidates.
I believe the ultimate solution to Dr. Hare's hard-wired "bad" people is the hard-core tactic proposed by Thomas Sheridan ("Defeated Demons"); that being the definitive, global identification of these Personality-Types and subsequent rejection/isolation of such people. And, to a certain extent, such tactic may be appropriate with Dr. Phil's "bad" people (ie: "they can 'bad-mouth' me... but it'll be via long-distance calls"). People must reject the "Will Rodgers" paradigm ("never met a person I didn't like") and embrace what would be considered rude behavior... to out right and quite obviously reject interfacing (in any and all manners) with these people; for the "hard-core" "bad" guys are counting on people's penchant to be civil/polite to get a Toe-Hold of influence (or informational-resource) with them... to promote their schemes.
And, human nature generally being a seamless continuum, behaviors in the office occur within families, between friends/acquaintences, social assemblies (eg: School Boards, Church Working-Groups).
To my personal frustration, people have generally surrendered to this situation; labeling it as "Office Politics", siting the inevitability of cronyism/nepotism in the work-place whose eradication is as hopeless as that of street-drugs.
Similar to Dr. Phil, I searched for previous work of others in this subject matter. However, I found the works of Dr. Robert D. Hare to be astoundingly pertinent. His "Snakes In Suits" is, in my opinion, spot-on as is the Video rendition of the book "The Art Of Urban Survival; a Family Safety and Self Defense Manual" (by Stefan H. Verstappen). At exactly 18:30 minutes:seconds into the 37:38 long "YouTube" video, the role-play/voice-over is incredibly precise in summarizing the modus operandi of these "bad" people.
Most interestingly, if you can picture the Elevational Path an Airplane takes ((1) accelerating down the run-way, (b) initial lift-off, (c) climbing to cruise-altitude and (d) leveling off), that is the profile/level of influence Predators gain as they "play" their "Mark" ("Target"); described as "Stages": (a) Assessment, (b) Relationship-Building, (c) "Predator's" entrenchment of "Soul-Mate" perception in the "Target's" Mind and (d) the complete surrender of the "Target" to the "Predator".... with one final incidious ("closing") act... abandonment of the "Target" upon his/her usefulness to the "Predator" being expended.
Similar to Dr. Phil, Dr. Hare has developed a Checklist against which a person's behavior ("badness") is evaluated on a Scale of 0 to 40 with such Checklist embraced by America's Justice System.
My opinion is that Dr. Phil's "Life Code" is a "soft" treatment of the subject matter; certainly valid and effective when dealing with "light-weight" to "light-middle-weight" "bad" guys. Dr. Hare's is definitely "heavy-weight" material. (ie: Dr. Phil's book includes a personal letter/"warning" to all "bad" guys while Dr. Hare doesn't. Such implies that Dr. Phil's "bad" guys are soft-core offenders that're somewhat receptive to "criticism". Dr. Hare's "bad" guys are "hard-wired" (unchangable predators) and will gladly take any morsel of information (ie: principles of behavior/behavioral therapy, potential victim's beliefs/attitudes)to add to the arsenal of deceptive/manipulative tactics.)
It's up to the reader to decide whether they're dealing with a pesky neighbor or busy-body office gossiper or a near "Satan Incarnate".
Regardless, I'm overwhelmingly happy that this subject matter is finally being recognized and addressed as an issue that can be delt with for, I believe, exposure is the worst nightmare of and best "weapon" against such Predators.
Where Dr. Hare's earlier work has a tinge of defeatism in it regarding the power (omini-potency) of these "bad" people over their chosen victims, I have valid hope to the contrary. I read of a Corporation's HR Department employing very skilled psychologists and of Employment Interview Models being developed/used that, during the interview process, subtly force-to-the-surface the true character of these perspective employees/"bad" people ('cause they can't help themselves) thru which they're rejected as employee candidates.
I believe the ultimate solution to Dr. Hare's hard-wired "bad" people is the hard-core tactic proposed by Thomas Sheridan ("Defeated Demons"); that being the definitive, global identification of these Personality-Types and subsequent rejection/isolation of such people. And, to a certain extent, such tactic may be appropriate with Dr. Phil's "bad" people (ie: "they can 'bad-mouth' me... but it'll be via long-distance calls"). People must reject the "Will Rodgers" paradigm ("never met a person I didn't like") and embrace what would be considered rude behavior... to out right and quite obviously reject interfacing (in any and all manners) with these people; for the "hard-core" "bad" guys are counting on people's penchant to be civil/polite to get a Toe-Hold of influence (or informational-resource) with them... to promote their schemes.
October 28, 2014
First of all, I know some of my friends will deride me for reading this book. I read it because it was free to listen to as part of my Kindle Unlimited membership. Also, I know the book goes against most of the books I've been reading this year, which I’d say are of a higher caliber in terms of intellectualism and artistry.
Now here goes the review. I never watched Dr. Phil but I learned that he rose to fame as a licensed psychologist who got invited to Oprah’s show. I’m not sure about Oprah’s show as I've never watched that as well but I can guess the demographics of Dr. Phil’s show based on the contents of his book. The thing I realize and have witnessed firsthand is how crazy and dramatic the lives are of many Americans in the middle and lower classes. Trust me; I've experienced many things first hand. Husbands and wives cheating on each other, physical abuse and drug abuse, dishonesty and backstabbing, and just an overall lack of sense of dignity and morality.
I’d say for people living these crazy lives, Dr. Phil’s advice might be very helpful. In this book, he talks about how you shouldn't just give everyone the benefit of the doubt, how you should have a script ready to talk to your drug addicted partner, how you should handle yourself around manipulative people, and on how to protect your family from those that want to cause them harm.
Having lived in Korea, a Confucian society the past 4 years, I've realized that many of the problems going on back home just simply do not occur here. Generally, people are much more careful in their behavior towards one another because the society will treat those that “act a fool” as an outcast, which is a terrible position to be in a society where relationships in some part determine one’s self-image and outlook.
I’m glad I live a pretty laid back and peaceful life, and that I don’t need most of Dr. Phil’s advice. But I can’t lie, it was entertaining for me to listen to as he is a great talker, and it brought me some sweet memories of the chaos back home. Not a bad book, if you like this sort of thing.
Now here goes the review. I never watched Dr. Phil but I learned that he rose to fame as a licensed psychologist who got invited to Oprah’s show. I’m not sure about Oprah’s show as I've never watched that as well but I can guess the demographics of Dr. Phil’s show based on the contents of his book. The thing I realize and have witnessed firsthand is how crazy and dramatic the lives are of many Americans in the middle and lower classes. Trust me; I've experienced many things first hand. Husbands and wives cheating on each other, physical abuse and drug abuse, dishonesty and backstabbing, and just an overall lack of sense of dignity and morality.
I’d say for people living these crazy lives, Dr. Phil’s advice might be very helpful. In this book, he talks about how you shouldn't just give everyone the benefit of the doubt, how you should have a script ready to talk to your drug addicted partner, how you should handle yourself around manipulative people, and on how to protect your family from those that want to cause them harm.
Having lived in Korea, a Confucian society the past 4 years, I've realized that many of the problems going on back home just simply do not occur here. Generally, people are much more careful in their behavior towards one another because the society will treat those that “act a fool” as an outcast, which is a terrible position to be in a society where relationships in some part determine one’s self-image and outlook.
I’m glad I live a pretty laid back and peaceful life, and that I don’t need most of Dr. Phil’s advice. But I can’t lie, it was entertaining for me to listen to as he is a great talker, and it brought me some sweet memories of the chaos back home. Not a bad book, if you like this sort of thing.
June 5, 2013
This book has a wealth of information many do not WANT to know and EVEN MORE do not want YOU to know. The principals are based in WHAT EVERYONE needs to know. It is a very sad truth that "the good ole days" were not always ideal, but had significantly less problems involving the low brow predators that scoot in on their bellies to get something from their unsuspecting targets. This book will leave you with a different tint to your glasses. Sometimes hard to swallow insight is obvious after digesting Dr.Phils perspective conveyed in this read. Almost certain that someone the reader identifies is someone they love most. Should be required reading.
August 1, 2016
Dr. Phil gav us a playbk, n hez right, its up2 us how v use/misuse it.
1 thing i liked in the bk is tht, he pointed al the 'BAITERS' out very cleverly. Itz both easy and hard 2 recogniz thm 4m a distance and now i cn make smarter choices whom 2 sit wid, evn 4 just a cup of coffee.
Its a good bk, i mean if u knw urslf, ur focusd on wht 2 do wid ur life and ur honest with atleast urself. Dr. Phil has pointed out alot of things, bt chosing 2 do exactly what, how n whom 2 do wid or deciding nt 2 do thm at al is up 2 us. The right attitude towards everyth is important, people surely need 2 knw how 2 nail tht formula.
1 thing i liked in the bk is tht, he pointed al the 'BAITERS' out very cleverly. Itz both easy and hard 2 recogniz thm 4m a distance and now i cn make smarter choices whom 2 sit wid, evn 4 just a cup of coffee.
Its a good bk, i mean if u knw urslf, ur focusd on wht 2 do wid ur life and ur honest with atleast urself. Dr. Phil has pointed out alot of things, bt chosing 2 do exactly what, how n whom 2 do wid or deciding nt 2 do thm at al is up 2 us. The right attitude towards everyth is important, people surely need 2 knw how 2 nail tht formula.
May 27, 2013
This was a great read. Dr. Phil discusses how important it is to be aware of people with little moral standards, who are just waiting to take advantage of those who are oblivious to their cons.
It also discusses how life has changed over the years, and how important it is to be aware of the people you allow into your life.
Additionally, I found that the last part of the book that discusses the importance of teaching your children about the new life code, was very enlightening.
It also discusses how life has changed over the years, and how important it is to be aware of the people you allow into your life.
Additionally, I found that the last part of the book that discusses the importance of teaching your children about the new life code, was very enlightening.
January 30, 2014
A lot of interesting insight, tips, and real life examples in this book. I am a fan of the Dr. Phil show and also have read a few of his other books in the past. He has a no nonsense approach to life and the way we choose to live it. I think many people could benefit from reading this, if anything just to gain some new perspective on the way we live and the people we choose to surround ourselves and our families with. Great book. :)
March 7, 2013
This book doesn't really stick to one topic. It's more of stream of consciousness. It seems like he wrote it because somebody made him angry and he threw a few other things together. The advice he gives is good, but it just seems like he's trying to sell a book by instilling more fear in people. Still, it was kind of interesting to read.
November 8, 2015
Dr. Phil has some really good one liners. Honestly, I really wanted to give this book a two star rating going into the second chapter. It just sounds so pessimistic and dangerous for people who actually suffer paranoia. However, things got pretty light and motivational in the following chapters bumping up my interest for the book. Good job Dr. Phil.
March 14, 2013
Dr. Phil writes glibly, subtly and not so subtly selling himself throughout this plushly padded book. So, while he makes some good points, what he says could have been covered in pamphlet form. Perhaps he's saving more material for his next book.
September 4, 2016
"Life Code" is a very informative teaching book to read, and you don't have to be a super fan of the author "Dr. Phil. He sets the stage for living and surviving in today's highly paced world through detailed insight for each area of life that one might find themselves questioning...
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August 31, 2016It's excellent, maybe his best. It warns of bad people we let in our lives, and definitely worth checking out.
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