Sex on the Brain: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life

by Daniel G. Amen

“The vast majority of love and sex occurs in the brain. Your brain decides who is attractive to you, how to get a date, how well you do on the date, what to do with the feelings that develop, how long those feelings last, when to commit, and how well you do as a partner and a parent. Your brain helps you be enthusiastic in the bedroom or drains you of desire and passion. Your brain helps you process and learn from a breakup or makes you vulnerable to depression or obsession.”


While plastic surgeons, diet gurus, and the pharmaceutical industry may have convinced you that they hold the secret to a fulfilling sex life, the truth is that you already have the only thing you really a brain. As the largest and most sensitive sexual organ in the body, a healthy human brain enhances your sex life and heightens sensation. A troubled brain, however, makes emotional and physical connection with others difficult. So forget the implants, the fad diets, and the pills. Learning about this intriguing and sexy organ is the key to your sexual satisfaction.

Based on Dr. Daniel Amen’s latest research in practical neuroscience, Sex on the Brain shares 12 lessons that help you enhance your love and sex lives through understanding and improving brain function. Filled with practical suggestions and information on how sex can save your life, Sex on the Brain

• How sex helps prevent heart disease, improve memory, stave off cancer, and boost your immune system
• How the differences between men’s and women’s brains affect our perceptions and interest in sex—and how you can understand these differences to make the most of the opportunities with your partner
• Why breakups hurt so much, and what you can do to ease the pain
• Surefire techniques to fix common problems—depression, PMS, ADD—that get in the way of good sex
• How to make yourself unforgettable to your partner

Everyone wants to know how to improve his or her love life, but so few of us understand the integral role that the brain plays in getting us in the mood, keeping us excited about our partner, and helping us achieve greater satisfaction. Sex on the Brain explains everything, showing you how use your brain to create a healthy, happy, and hot sex life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Science, Sexuality, Relationships, Psychology, Health

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

The Washington Post called Dr. Daniel Amen the most popular psychiatrist in America and Sharecare.com named him the web's most influential expert and advocate on mental health.
Daniel Amen is a life-long Christian and graduate of Oral Roberts University School of Medicine. He is a double board-certified psychiatrist and multiple NY Times bestselling author, with such blockbuster books as Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, Healing ADD, Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, and The Daniel Plan, co-authored by Pastor Rick Warren and Dr. Mark Hyman. In November 2016, he and his wife Tana published The Brain Warrior's Way.
Dr. Amen is the founder of Amen Clinics, which has 6 locations across the United States. Amen Clinics has the world's largest database of brain scans related to behavior, totaling more than 125,000 SPECT scans on patients from 111 countries.
Dr. Amen's research team has published more than 70 scientific articles on a wide variety of topics related to brain health. He is the lead researcher on the largest brain imaging study on active and retired NFL players and was a consultant on the movie Concussion starring Will Smith. In 2016, Discover Magazine named his brain imaging work for psychiatric diagnoses as one of the top 100 stories in all of science.
Dr. Amen has also hosted 11 national public television shows about the brain, which have aired more than 80,000 times across North America and raised more than 75 million dollars for stations.

You can connect with Dr. Amen on Facebook and Twitter

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not a self-help or sex-help book! It's a very interesting book detailing how how brain plays a part in every decision we make concerning mating and dating. It is incredible how much hormones and brain function determinds who we find attractive, why we stay with one partner and not another, how we bond with our partners and more. Another interesting part of the book is the explanation about female vs. male brains and why each sex does the things that they do. Based on science, the author is one of the leading experts in brain behavior and knows what he is talking about.

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm fascinated by sex. I'm fascinated by the brain. I have a little bit of a crush on Daniel Amen. This book had so much potential, and fell so flat.

Mainly, it felt like it would have made a better article than book, or that it should have gone through a few more rigorous rounds of editing. Yes, I know that sexuality doesn't exist independently of other variables in one's life (mental illness, health, etc.), but this book had SO many tangents in it that left me wondering a) what exactly this was SUPPOSED to say about the topic at and and b) when we would get back to said topic.

There wasn't really anything new here; it's just a repackaging of the information I already read in "Change Your Brain, Change Your Body," which already includes a chapter on sex. It felt like a book that was quickly pushed out the door because of it being a "hot topic" (when is sex not a hot topic, after all?) for a quick buck or a surge in PR appearances. I guess that if this is the "hook" that's necessary to get the average person caring about their brain's health, then this book has it's place. It just wasn't really with me.

[Heydi Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

So amazing. Everyone should get this book when they start thinking about dating and it should be required reading in biology class. Oh, the misunderstandings that would be averted if only people understood how their minds and bodies work! Seriously people, information is power. Get some! This book is the perfect place to start.

I think it should be noted that while this book is entitled "Sex on the Brain" it is not all about intercourse. In fact, it has very little to do with the actually act of intercourse. This book explains how our brains work. More specifically, it explains the differences between men and women and how opposite our minds work. It explains how to understand what is happening to your partner -in their brain- and how to help them to have a better life and in turn how to enjoy intercourse.

[Rebecca Ann Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

My goal is to read every Amen book by him and his wonderful wife Tana. This being said my GoodReads will be filled with their books and I do hear some of the same info - this is good though, repetitive sticks in the brain.

That being I’ve been fascinated with the brain works in love and relationships, I’m one that watched the documentaries on the studies.

This has some new a fascinating information that I had not yet heard but I think I wanted more of that and a little less of the mental disorder information. (Though this is important too, right? Because ultimately this can make or break any relationship)

This is a book of searching for a deeper sense of self and the brain and how an unhealthy brain can also cause defects in marriages and dating.

Interesting facts and a bit of sense of humor shine.

[Brian Cashman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is much more about the physiology of the brain than it is about sex. The book simply weaves the two together to answer basic questions we have about our own thoughts, fears, hangups and general ideas on what happens with the brain as it pertains to sex. It is NOT a salacious book on sex; rather it is very insightful observations from his collection of SPECT scans on thousands of patients. He knows of what he speaks. He is often seen on PBS TV on a variety of subjects on the brain, such as stress or injury. It is a fast reading book and easily understandable to readers.

[Emily Mellow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this. He gives great arguments for enjoying a lifelong thriving sex life. It seems to be great for your brain, healthy aging, and all bodily systems.
Only thing that was iffy were some of the differences and generalities he makes about men and women, which seem old fashioned and outdated. Nevertheless! The book has value and is a great read.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second reading - with a consciousness of gender bias raised since first reading, some flaws in perspective became obvious. Some of the science seems dated, too. Having said that, there are some useful ideas and practices here.

[Gergana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is more about brain disorders than sex. Quite depressing, really. The main thing I got out of it was that brain scans are not a bad idea and that most of our issues come from our either over- or underactive brains.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think 3.5. But, I am rounding up. Title and description are misleading. This book is about all kinds of brain health. The brain is my fave organ to learn about, so I enjoyed the book. Similar to his mental health book, which I prefer to this one.

[Hector · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sex aside, Dr. Amen's deep dive into different parts of the brain and how to optimize them are found in the appendix of this book. He seems to have spread various parts of his vast knowledge across his authored titles.

[Mabi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative and interesting.

[Tiquila Mcneill · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some useful points to the book and some not so useful drawn out parts that I felt were very repetitive.

[✿✿✿May · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of science, but informative.

[Eren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sağlık okur yazarlığı olmayan biri tarafından çevrilmiş bir kitap olduğu belli. Kitap içeriği 3 yıldız, Türkçe çevirisi 2 yıldız.

[Sammy Cerissi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful

[Sandy Hensley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good info. More like Love on the Brain. I feel like it was less organized and touted more on brain science than sex and brain. But kinda worth a read.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ahem. Fascinating

[Vincent · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more about brain functionality than sex, alright book.

[Kevin Driskill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read on brain in general, SPECT scans, and sexual function in particular. Many how-to's and practical suggestions.

[Angie Barfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Piqued my interest and caused me to want to continue learning about brain health.

[MAK · Rating 1 out of 5]

Would have taken the book more seriously if he included more references for his assertions. Some of the book seemed like an advertisement for his supplement and scanning business.

[Carla · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look at how brain function can affect mood, personality, libido, and relationships.

[Happy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I was expecting, but gave me a good preview of how the brain affects our behaviors.

[Aca · Rating 5 out of 5]

[-Women buying shoes trick. Sensory regions in the brain for the feet and genitals are nearby.
-ACG (negative though process), PFC
-Stand on the right side - more appealing
-Brainmatch.com
]

[Curtis · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book overall with a lot of good information about how to keep a focused, healthy brain.

The most interesting part of the book to me was where he describes how the various parts of the brain affect one's mood, including one's sexual drive (or lack thereof) and the foods you can eat and habits you can cultivate to help them function properly. My least favorite part was his section on identifying personality disorders -- mainly because with each section I started wondering if he was describing me.... (I hear that's normal when reading these kinds of books, but it's no less disconcerting.)

One of the things that struck me while reading this book is making your brain (and therefore your sex life!) healthier isn't really all that different from making your body healthier overall. Basically: Exercise regularly, eat right, avoid junk food and unnecessary drugs. Granted there's a little more to it than just that, especially if you have some physical or emotional trauma, but it's a good place to start.

My biggest criticism is that the author seems to view things a little too much from his specialist point of view. Looking at your behavior as a function of your brain activity (or lack of activity) is certainly useful and beneficial from time to time. But I would argue that it's just as good not to think too much about whether one's brain is working properly, lest it become an obsession.

And of course, I believe that looking at the physical is only half of the equation. I do think that there is a metaphysical ingredient as well. (I understand the argument that metaphysical feelings, such as those that we have with regard to "free will" or possessing a "soul," could themselves be a trick of the brain, but if that's the case, why fight it? Clearly our brains think such metaphysical feelings are beneficial to us, and evolution has equipped us with such brains, so embracing those feelings must be a good thing, right?) I enjoy thinking about chicken-and-egg problems such as: Are decisions made by activity in the brain or does brain activity occur because decisions are made? Regardless, where does the decision or activity originate? Does a brain that is functioning properly make "right" or "good" decisions, or even "more correct" and "better" decisions on average? And so on...

[Jerry Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended by Amazon under for Self Help, for starters it's less of what the title implies and more of a literal book about Sex and how your Brain and Body relates to it. The book is like a PBS series, College Lecture, Scientific Theory, and selfless promotion of the author with a mix of primal, erotic, sensual, emotional, physical, financial, and mental effects on our sexual lives and experiences and how that our sexual lives and experiences reflect back onto our everyday lives and even our personalities. It may seem as if I just went around in a circle while explaining that, but trust me, until you actually read or listen to this book, you won't know how it manages to take seemingly random and unrelated subjects and tie them together so skillfully. I would however strongly recommended the Audio version, because the Author goes into really detailed subject matter and uses words straight from the DSM (used in Psychology); I at times had to Google words and terms and playback information. In my opinion, it would have become a little overwhelming if in Physical Book form, and would have taken away from the information that the author was attempting to make.

[Hugo Torres · Rating 3 out of 5]

A healthy brain is a sexy brain. That is the main take away I pulled from Sex on the Brain from Daniel Amen.

That is not a bad thing as the book does a terrific job of delineating the importance of a healthy noggin' in sex and life in general.

I enjoyed reading the many interesting anecdotes and stories of people who are afflicted by a variety of imbalances and I found a new understanding of how fetishes and compulsions may function. It certainly gives some insight and it makes the argument that in order to enjoy a more complete sex life it is important to shy away from drugs/alcohol and also to seek help from professionals when a perceived issue arises.

The book is heavy on lists and at time this becomes tedious.

Overall, a good reminder that a loving sexual relationship doesn't happen by change. It takes lots of work and care.

[christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is very interesting so far. I have started skimming a bit, as he sort of labors certain points by giving study after study after study, to back up points. Personally he had me sold on the first couple of studies, I don't really need ten more.
I am also skimming certain men are from mars... conclusions he draws about men and women. His brain mapping is compelling, but he seems to make huge leaps to draw certain conclusions.
Overall though it is worth reading I would say.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started this book after reading Dr. Amen's other more recent books. The information about SPECT scans and the way the brain functions is highly informative, but also a repeat for me because all of those things also in the books I'd already read. Good statistical evidence about how sex is good for relationships. But beyond that, you should read his other books instead. i.e. Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. Change Your Brain, Change Your Body.

[Kellie Barlow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know some of you are going to be disappointed, but it's not nearly as dirty as it sounds. I love Amen's books, and this one is no exception. It's fascinating! I think every married person should at least read the first chapter, it's chuck full of interesting information on the benefits of sex, including more restful sleep, pain relief, migraine relief, depression treatment, looking younger, weight loss, overall fitness, health and longevity, and happiness.