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382 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1975
"Pleasant, Madame, pleasant? You describe the great mystical trance of the derdaba or religious dance as merely pleasant? I think perhaps you are mistaken or were not paying proper attention."
His tone irritated me, that same patronizing tone, but I tried to keep calm. "Really, Abdul Lateef, everyone behaved as though they were at a party, having a good time. Really they did. You can ask my friends."
He pursed his lips. "The derdaba is a serious, a psychological experience, Madame. It is deep and important."
"But--" Bob was trying to catch my eye, willing me to be quiet. But I didn't want to be quiet. I knew that this kind of dancing and music session had often been described as therapeutic, cathartic, full of intensity and drama, but my whole impression of the occasion had been that all were in a gay and lighthearted mood and enjoyed themselves thorough. "It was fun, Abdul Lateef, " I finished boldly.
Bob winced; Mustapha looked scandalized. Abdul Lateef opened his mouth, then shut it again. My last remark had apparently place me beyond the pale, someone to whom nothing more could be said.
Moulay Mustapha tried to make peace. "But, Lateef, maybe the women's derdaba is different? Who knows what the women do in their zaweeya?"
"Yes, Mustapha," agreed Lateef. "Who knows? Who knows indeed?" He shook his head mournfully. "Only God knows!" And he raised his gaze upward, as if asking God to give him patience and understanding of this strange unknown world of women. (p. 294-295)
I began to wonder about my own motivations and ultimate responsibilities in the situation I seemed to have precipitated. I had wanted to be accepted, obviously. I had wanted to learn, but now I was leaving, and those who had accepted me and taught me what I knew--Aisha, Kenza, Lateefa, Lalla Fadna, Zahia, Fatima Hanna--would be left behind. We had all been changed by the encounter, but was it worth it, to me, to them? Was it fair, human even? I could not answer my own questions. (p. 350)