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Deep Thoughts
Deep Thoughts
A national bestselling collection of comedian Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts"--short, funny observations on life that were shown in between sketches on Saturday Night Live.
Paperback
First published January 1, 1992
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About the author
Jack Handey
12 books360 followersJack Handey is an American humorist. He is best known for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Many people have the false impression that Jack Handey is not an actual person, but a character created by Saturday Night Live or a pen name used by National Lampoon.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews
May 24, 2013
There was a time when "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" was the only part of SNL's hour and a half that made me laugh. Handy's absurdist humor touched my funnybone, and my funnybone is a queer little fella. It takes odd observations, as seen below, to set me to tittering. Handy and his Deep Thoughts collection's got what I need!
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
June 15, 2025
One of my coworkers lent me this book, thinking that it would be something I would enjoy, and she was right! As the title says, this is a collection of “deep thoughts” that SNL alumni, Jack Handey, would do in a skit of the same name. There are some on YouTube you can check out, and yeah some of them are pretty good. You have to picture them being said in a monotone voice too, that’s what makes them stand out in my opinion.
For example, here’s one of my favorites of the collection:
“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. ‘Oh no’, I said, ‘Disneyland burned down.’ He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”
See, pretty thought provoking stuff lol 😂 it may not be everyone’s type of humor but I liked it, and it was a nice little read between my other two big reads.
For example, here’s one of my favorites of the collection:
“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. ‘Oh no’, I said, ‘Disneyland burned down.’ He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”
See, pretty thought provoking stuff lol 😂 it may not be everyone’s type of humor but I liked it, and it was a nice little read between my other two big reads.
April 8, 2008
I just pulled out my old copy of this today. What a timeless classic! One on my favorites- "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is Crying'. And if asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did'.
February 8, 2017
Review (about to be) underway.
May 19, 2010
You're probably familiar with Jack Handey's hilarious Deep Thoughts if you watched Saturday Night Live in the 1990's. This super quick read provides random and completely irrelevant thoughts on life and many other odd things. Don't come here looking for eloquent prose or thought-provoking text, simply read Handey's hilarious one liners and enjoy the feel of the smile that will without a doubt appear on your face.
There are several sequels to this book along with a collection of family-related anecdotes called "Fuzzy Memories." Don't be sad when you finish the book, simply run out and get the next one!
Let these remind you of old times. Better times. Times when SNL was funny!
There are several sequels to this book along with a collection of family-related anecdotes called "Fuzzy Memories." Don't be sad when you finish the book, simply run out and get the next one!
Let these remind you of old times. Better times. Times when SNL was funny!
December 22, 2007
"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why
several of us died of tuberculosis."
several of us died of tuberculosis."
April 9, 2008
Totally hilarious.
February 7, 2009
"I wonder if we'd be so cavilier about cutting trees down if they could scream. I but we would if they screamed all the time and for no good reason."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 27, 2013
If you start reading this, you might, at first, think it's a lame quotations book, but as you read further, you'll realize it's actually not - it's a lame AND FUNNY quotations book.
Just to give you taste of it's dry humour:
Real deep thoughts!
Just to give you taste of it's dry humour:
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
Real deep thoughts!
September 4, 2010
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."
He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down."
He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.
I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
February 27, 2008
i found this gem in a thrift store for 50 cents. it never ceases to make me laugh. i'll often just pick it up off the coffee table and read a page and it will keep a smile on my face for the day. my favorite part being the disneyland piece (too funny!) it's a great coffee table book for homes of the dry & witty humored!
February 3, 2008
If I have to explain why any Jack Handey book would receive 5 stars, then don't even bother picking up the book.
June 6, 2008
This book defines my sense of humor.
March 13, 2019
Saturday Night Live's Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. You should appreciate this even if you've never heard of Jack Handy. And, if you don't, you're not my friend.
March 6, 2022
Meh. Some of these jokes don't really hold up very well, but there are still a few gems in here worthy of a hearty chuckle. Overall, I kind of wish I had left these to nostalgia rather than revisit them.
March 21, 2008
Yup, still disturbing. Heres a few I really laughed at though.
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date,I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at all the glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
See where this book travels next, at: http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5...
I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula and Superman away.
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date,I bet it's really embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at all the glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
See where this book travels next, at: http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5...
November 11, 2008
The best thing about this book was reading it sitting on the floor in the bible section of Barnes and Noble with Jenny and cracking up to the point where we almost got kicked out. Reading them aloud with someone else is the best thing ever - or maybe only when it is done with The Jenny.
Many, many people are not hilarious enough to "get" the jokes, though. I, however, am not one of those people.
Many, many people are not hilarious enough to "get" the jokes, though. I, however, am not one of those people.
June 29, 2007
Would I have had anything besides Simpsons to quote in middle school without this book? Who knows.
December 10, 2007
A classic.
March 4, 2008
Nice, dry humor in short quotes. Handey (SNL writers) is crazy, funny, and seemingly fixated with death and dismemberment. I read it while hanging out in B&N.
May 21, 2008
Funny one liners. Good for a laugh and then it was time to pass the book on to another moocher.
March 18, 2008
A laugh a minute. Great john reading. Place it in the guest washroom for company.
March 26, 2008
I wish I had a cross made of kryptonite so I could keep both Dracula and Superman away
May 20, 2008
Always, always good for a laugh... A perverse laugh, yes, but anything that makes us laugh in this world can't be all bad.
Read
June 14, 2008The most honest book I have read since Jim J. Bullock's autobiography.
July 30, 2008
There is no mood so bad I can't be made happy again by reading some Deep Thoughts.
August 21, 2008
demented and hilarious!
November 7, 2008
Mrs. J.D. Johnson, my 11th grade English teacher, confiscated this book from me. To retaliate, I refused to read Pride and Prejudice.
November 12, 2008
Jack Handey rules. Contrary to popular belief, he's a real guy. It brings me back to the days when Saturday Night Live was funny.
January 8, 2009
This one never gets old :)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 106 reviews