Andrea's Voice: Silenced by Bulimia: Her Story and Her Mother's Journey Through Grief Toward Understanding

by Doris Smeltzer, Carolyn Costin (Foreword), Andrea Lynn Smeltzer (Primary Contributor)

Vibrant, talented, strong, and beautiful, Andrea Smeltzer seemed destined for a great future. But after a one-year struggle with bulimia, she died in her sleep at age 19, catapulting her mother Doris into a wrenching but ultimately rewarding journey of discovery. This unabashed account not only speaks about one family’s tragedy, but also critiques the social and personal attitudes toward our bodies and appearance that create victims like Andrea. Andrea's poetry and journal entries, combined with her mother's reflections, offer insight and understanding about a crushing disorder that afflicts far too many young people.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Mental Illness

256 pages, Paperback

First published May 15, 2006

Reviews

[Sommer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished this book in one sitting. In fact, I read until nearly 4am. It is a tragic story of a mother's loss. It is written with grace, hope, honesty and intellect. If someone you care about is struggling with disordered eating, get this book for them and read it yourselves. There is a lot of insight into the mental anguish caused by this unfortunate and misunderstood disorder. Throughout the story, the author blends her daughter's poetry, journal entries, and letters home to help the reader fully grasp the spirit of her child. Prepare to cry. Also, an important read for those wanting to work with individuals suffering from bulmia.

[Kiersten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing. Earth shattering. From the voice of a girl who succumbed to bulimia at a young age and after a brief time with the illness. She was on the road to healing and passed in her sleep, hoping for a better life. This book was put together by her parents-her mother and father both very strong humans and unfortunately more of the norm these days as many more women and men are taken by this devastating illness. Though no book is going to make any one sufferer "open their eyes" enough, this is a book I keep on my nightstand and flip through on occasion. Andrea's voice and life was not in vain.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is painful, honest, thoughtful, distressing, inspiring, wonderful. I admire Doris and her family so much for being willing to be so transparent and vulnerable in writing this book. It has made me much more aware of my own thoughts about myself that seem safe enough but that plant terrible seeds in my own mind and those around me. If your life has been touched by disordered eating or someone suffering from an eating disorder, this book will touch your heart deeply. Just one family's story, very unique to them, but I found easy to become involved in and relatable.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found her webpage while recovering. Andreas poems are some of the best poems I've ever read with regard to eatingdisorders and just life in general .

[Mary Helen Beno · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard and important read. As someone in recovery from an eating disorder myself- I knew how important this book was. Seeing the impact this disorder has on loved ones was eye opening. Also, seeing Andrea's story from the beginning of the ED to where it ultimately took her life was heartbreaking. There's aspects of her struggles that I can relate to. It was truly inspiring to see how hard Andrea's family was working to help her. A parents love knows no bounds- and Andrea's parents were no different. I appreciate all of the resources at the end of the book, as well. I think this book has helped folks and will continue to do so. Thank you, Doris, for sharing Andrea's story. May her memory be a blessing always.

[Laura Buechler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Doris uses excerpts from her daughter's diary along with her own writings and recollections to recount Andrea's last year of life and her tragic death from bulimia. She doesn't shy away from reflecting on her own role in Andrea's illness, and provides an excellent list of resources for concerned parents.

[Kyla · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book that finally made me realize that eating disorders can kill ANYONE, regardless of weight, duration of behaviors, etc. It's also a touching story told through the eyes of both mother and daughter. I found no triggers (no numbers!!!). Warning; a very emotional read.

[Lenny Husen · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5, rounding up because every person who is suffering from an Eating Disorder (ED), or has suffered from an ED in the past, or loves someone with an ED, should read this book.
I honestly did not think of Bulimia as a fatal disease previously.
Doris' grief is so authentic and expressed with such wisdom and depth, that I found my rating of this book increasing as I approached the end.
This is the story of the sudden and unexpected death of Andrea at age 19, the events leading up to it and the aftermath. Andrea's voice is heard in the form of journal entries and poems she wrote in her short life. She was a talented and vibrant young woman who did not believe she would die of her illness.

I read the list of Risk Factors and Possible Characteristics typical of a person who develops an ED, and all the Characteristics applied to me as a teenager. I did have an ED, which caused me immense pain, but wasn't Bulimia or Anorexia. I feel grateful that my ED wasn't a fatal one, and that I recovered from it.
I am grateful that my own daughter never developed an ED as my example of constantly criticizing my own body inwardly and out loud, could have triggered one in her.

This is a highly valuable book in the field of Size Acceptance.

[Anastasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book

A great book that provides an insight into eating disorders and how it affects the people around the person suffering as well as the tremendous consequences an eating disorder can have on someone.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A daunting memory to her daughter. While I was not a fan of the writing, it did challenge views on parenting skills.

[Gel 👩🏻‍🦰 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very challenging to read (because of sad content), but enlightening, especially for anyone who knows someone with an eating disorder.

[T. Greenwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always find it difficult to evaluate non-fiction. I don't read a lot of it, unless it's research for my own work. This book was honest, forthright, contemplative, and ultimately helpful to me as a writer. I imagine that it would also be of significant help to other mothers suffering the loss of a child to an eating disorder. Doris Smeltzer's mission is clear, and this book goes a long way to challenging taboos and alleviating the stigma of this illness. It is also a stellar rumination on the grieving process.

[Erica · Rating 2 out of 5]

So sad! Reminded me a bit of me and mom and what I was going through the last couple of years. I wish the author had been a bit more explicit with details of her daughter's eating disorder. She was so vague! I understand that she didn't want this story to be triggering for others, but it was hard to relate to because we knew so little about Andrea's situation.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually had to read this for a class I am taking and ended up being completely caught up in it. It completely pulled at my heartstrings the entire time I was reading.