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The Dangerous Old Woman series #5
How to Be an Elder: Myths and Stories of the Wise Woman Archetype
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés Presents Volume Five of the Dangerous Old Woman Series
“What makes an elder, a heartfelt spirit, a clear mind, a talented heart, one who is young while old and old while young, an activist for the Soul? Is it formulae, schemas, lexicons? It could be. But also, and often more so, I think it is very like the flowering of the trees in the forest, as we gather more we straggle and stride onward in our better learned ways to give out even more seeds for new life, and to blossom wildly in so doing for self and others … The old ones are yet traveling underground and overland toward us as we meet one more La Vidente , the Seer; La Que Sabe , the Knowing Woman; La Levantadora , the Lifter of Curses―the Dangerous Old Woman in her many likenesses calls to you to 'get down to business.'” ―Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD
How to Be an Elder presents the culmination of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés' masterwork, inviting us to “come into our own as wiser and wild souls” through six sessions of teachings, stories, poetry, and blessings. In this fifth and final volume of Dr. Estés' landmark series, we will explore how it is that through the gathering of our years we become a beautiful refuge for ourselves, our Souls, and for those who come after us.
“Did I mention, dear brave souls,” reminds Dr. Estés, “that you came with all the seedlings needed to do your work, to take your venerable places in life? Now is the just-right time, like Sleeping Beauty, to break the enchantment, to truly awaken and awaken others, as either a rookie Dangerous Old Woman, or a mid-career Dangerous Old Woman, or as Crone with Crown complete!”
Stories, Poems, and Blessings Include
A Simple Prayer for Remembering
• El Arbol de la Vida : The Tree of Life
• Blessing “Tattoo Your Scars with Flowering Vines”
• “Sleeping Beauty”
• Blessing “Do Not Fold Your Wings So Small”
• “The Shoebox of Tangled Necklaces”
• “Rumpelstiltskin”
• Blessing “May You See with Three Sets of Creator-Blessed Eyes”
• “Rapunzel”
• “The Loathly Bride”
• Blessing “You Shall Be Like a Volcano Heard from Afar”
• “This Little Time Traveler”
• “The Stolen Mother Moon”
• Blessing “The Hardening off of the Heartwood”
• “Distilling Aunt Edna from the Bottle”
• “The Rabbi's Advice to the Harried”
• “A Handful of Mud”
• “Baucis and Philemon”
• Blessing “The Mountain for Old Lovers”
“What makes an elder, a heartfelt spirit, a clear mind, a talented heart, one who is young while old and old while young, an activist for the Soul? Is it formulae, schemas, lexicons? It could be. But also, and often more so, I think it is very like the flowering of the trees in the forest, as we gather more we straggle and stride onward in our better learned ways to give out even more seeds for new life, and to blossom wildly in so doing for self and others … The old ones are yet traveling underground and overland toward us as we meet one more La Vidente , the Seer; La Que Sabe , the Knowing Woman; La Levantadora , the Lifter of Curses―the Dangerous Old Woman in her many likenesses calls to you to 'get down to business.'” ―Clarissa Pinkola Estés, PhD
How to Be an Elder presents the culmination of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés' masterwork, inviting us to “come into our own as wiser and wild souls” through six sessions of teachings, stories, poetry, and blessings. In this fifth and final volume of Dr. Estés' landmark series, we will explore how it is that through the gathering of our years we become a beautiful refuge for ourselves, our Souls, and for those who come after us.
“Did I mention, dear brave souls,” reminds Dr. Estés, “that you came with all the seedlings needed to do your work, to take your venerable places in life? Now is the just-right time, like Sleeping Beauty, to break the enchantment, to truly awaken and awaken others, as either a rookie Dangerous Old Woman, or a mid-career Dangerous Old Woman, or as Crone with Crown complete!”
Stories, Poems, and Blessings Include
A Simple Prayer for Remembering
• El Arbol de la Vida : The Tree of Life
• Blessing “Tattoo Your Scars with Flowering Vines”
• “Sleeping Beauty”
• Blessing “Do Not Fold Your Wings So Small”
• “The Shoebox of Tangled Necklaces”
• “Rumpelstiltskin”
• Blessing “May You See with Three Sets of Creator-Blessed Eyes”
• “Rapunzel”
• “The Loathly Bride”
• Blessing “You Shall Be Like a Volcano Heard from Afar”
• “This Little Time Traveler”
• “The Stolen Mother Moon”
• Blessing “The Hardening off of the Heartwood”
• “Distilling Aunt Edna from the Bottle”
• “The Rabbi's Advice to the Harried”
• “A Handful of Mud”
• “Baucis and Philemon”
• Blessing “The Mountain for Old Lovers”
Audio CD
First published December 1, 2012
21 people are currently reading
871 people want to read
About the author
Clarissa Pinkola Estés
83 books3,543 followersAn American poet, psychoanalyst and post-trauma specialist who was raised in now nearly vanished oral and ethnic traditions. She is a first-generation American who grew up in a rural village, population 600, near the Great Lakes. Of Mexican mestiza and majority Magyar and minority Swabian tribal heritages, she comes from immigrant and refugee families who could not read or write, or who did so haltingly. Much of her writing is influenced by her family people who were farmers, shepherds, hopsmeisters, wheelwrights, weavers, orchardists, tailors, cabinet makers, lacemakers, knitters, and horsemen and horsewomen from the Old Countries.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
July 27, 2018
Now is the time to unfurl...
If the hole in the wall is too small, cut a hole to fit you.
Self sovereignty is what the self wants.
1. Since you are born gifted, you will never lead an ordinary life.
2. You are made one of a kind.
3. You will never be normal.
Be within the wild range. The natural spectrum of the wild.
Because you are one of a kind you will find your own way.
You can win with even a bad hand, it’s how you play your cards.
If the hole in the wall is too small, cut a hole to fit you.
Self sovereignty is what the self wants.
1. Since you are born gifted, you will never lead an ordinary life.
2. You are made one of a kind.
3. You will never be normal.
Be within the wild range. The natural spectrum of the wild.
Because you are one of a kind you will find your own way.
You can win with even a bad hand, it’s how you play your cards.
January 28, 2018
I thought this would be more of a sociology study but it's more of a spiritual storytelling that analyzes multicultural myths, poems, fairy tales, folk tales and other stories. I'm not a spiritual person, but it was still good especially since psychoanalyst Clarissa Pinkola Estés is a great narrator.
May 30, 2020
Such wisdom at every turn. She even retells classic tales but showing how the roles and tales relate to life in new ways. I am a fan.
May 5, 2019
This is one of those volumes I'll have to listen to once more and likely another time after that. The end of this series, Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes brings us to the end with advice, stories and that hypnotic voice of hers that weaves us further along in our growth, wisdom and healing. I love her.
May 8, 2022
Whether you are already an elder, middle aged, or still have many years ahead, there is plenty of great advice and wisdom here. Like the other audiobooks in the Dangerous Old Woman series, Clarissa shares stories, personal anecdotes, and psychological insights from many cultures. The story about love and devotion in the final chapter was so moving that it even had Clarissa in tears as she told it. I loved this audiobook so much and look forward to listening again with pen in hand to take notes!
February 15, 2021
Can good storytelling have therapeutic properties? I think How to be an Elder by Clarissa Pinkola Estés stands out as a good example, and shows that yes, storytelling can lift people up.
In a sense this book is about health and well-being. In a world where our mythology often celebrates the wise patriarch Elder (an archetype this book is not trying to overturn) the wise matriarch Elder is often overlooked. I think it is a cornerstone of health and well-being that people have a sense of place in the world. And where better than in the stories we tell. That’s what this book does. It looks at instances of women who exerted their wisdom, through the lens of mythology. It’s like Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, but with instances of women.
The stories in How to be an Elder come from all around the world and deal with sovereignty, respecting and helping elders, reimagining roles in the world, making humanity whole, and I think, though the book doesn’t explicitly say so, listening. Estés’ writing style is extremely accessible and animated by a warm worldliness and compassion for all.
In a sense this book is about health and well-being. In a world where our mythology often celebrates the wise patriarch Elder (an archetype this book is not trying to overturn) the wise matriarch Elder is often overlooked. I think it is a cornerstone of health and well-being that people have a sense of place in the world. And where better than in the stories we tell. That’s what this book does. It looks at instances of women who exerted their wisdom, through the lens of mythology. It’s like Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, but with instances of women.
The stories in How to be an Elder come from all around the world and deal with sovereignty, respecting and helping elders, reimagining roles in the world, making humanity whole, and I think, though the book doesn’t explicitly say so, listening. Estés’ writing style is extremely accessible and animated by a warm worldliness and compassion for all.
December 26, 2021
I May Be the Only One to not enjoy listening to Clarissa Pinkola Estes read her work and to not come away with a profound sense of Big Truths. I am love both spiritual works and metaphor so those wasn't the flies in the ointment. The narration felt contrived. Odd, because, I love her interviews. For me, this book was too much of a long, fruitess monologue.
July 24, 2025
I couldn’t quite connect with this volume as much as the others from this series, but I think that has more to do with the headspace I was in reading this. Or maybe it’s my age? I don’t know. I did feel that, as lovely as the myths were, I struggled to see their relevance to the subject matter of elderly wisdom a lot of the time.
I did love the messages each myth brought about, though - of course. Especially the naming of Rumplestiltskin; this one felt quite evocative in terms of learning the power of names, and how naming something or someone as what they truly are can in fact take the power they hold over you away. An important lesson.
Overall, a 3.5 stars. I’ll probably revisit this one in a decade or so.
I did love the messages each myth brought about, though - of course. Especially the naming of Rumplestiltskin; this one felt quite evocative in terms of learning the power of names, and how naming something or someone as what they truly are can in fact take the power they hold over you away. An important lesson.
Overall, a 3.5 stars. I’ll probably revisit this one in a decade or so.
August 9, 2024
What a great book this is! Retelling some of the fairy tales from my childhood but unpacking some interesting ramifications and conclusions from them. It was very thought provoking. Although I didn’t agree with all her interpretations, particularly the Rumplestilskin and the Rappunzil stories, I’d love to discuss them with her!!
I also loved the stories about her wild Aunt, taking her to bars and wrestling matches and hipping her to life’s underbelly.
Now I want to read all her other books!
I also loved the stories about her wild Aunt, taking her to bars and wrestling matches and hipping her to life’s underbelly.
Now I want to read all her other books!
August 6, 2019
love to read end even more love to listen to Dr. Pinkola Estés ... listening to her soothimg voice and gorgeous tales of truth and connection kindles feeling at home and does kind of re(grand)parenting to me ...
October 9, 2018
Love this woman for her wisdom, compassion and humour. Such warmth and encouragement are in her voice.
November 24, 2020
The book is a collection of short stories or myths with the theme of self sovereign that you get as an elder. Was just a good read.
June 3, 2021
Listening to Clarissa Pinkola Estes is like visiting your favourite Aunty. She is filled with stories and wisdom, and I just love her way of telling stories and applying those lessons to our lives.
August 12, 2025
10/10. Fantastic series.
December 3, 2025
This series is so amazing. Happy to have finished it, but also a bit sad it's over. It was a book full of wisdome and fairy tales.
December 6, 2025
The contrived accent that fades in and out, and the affected ‘wisdom’ is exhausting.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews