Disasterology 101

by Taylor V. Donovan

Kevin Morrison had it all. A house he worked hard for, a loving wife, and three beautiful children. But it wasn't until his marriage ended that he realized what the void he'd felt almost all his life meant. Coming out as a gay man at thirty-six is not an easy feat, but he is determined to be true to his heart. Meeting a man who shares his values, and is good with his children would be a bonus, but when the guy arrives in a uniquely wrapped package, and has very specific handling instructions, Kevin needs to decide if he's up for that kind of love.

Obsessed with order and symmetry, and a paralyzing fear of germs, Cedric Haughton-Disley has lived with isolation and loneliness as long as he can remember. Desperate to be normal, he makes some much-needed changes in his life. If he can commit to his treatment, he might very well be able to procure some quality of life... even if that's all he can get, as finding love and having a relationship are only possible in Cedric's wildest dreams. But when a chance encounter leaves Cedric wishing for more, he decides to take a leap of faith, and pursue the guy he wants.

Together the two men make an unlikely match. Cedric needs organization, and Kevin represents chaos. In order to stay together they both need to compromise, but will they be able to deal with Cedric's issues and the potential disaster, or let it break them apart?

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Disability, Family, Contemporary Romance, Childrens

362 pages, Nook

First published July 17, 2013

About the author

Taylor V. Donovan is a bicultural travel aficionado, compulsive researcher, and lover of history and all things 80s. Born and raised in Puerto Rico, she now resides in New York City, remains passionate about her homeland, and is optimistically cynical about the world.

When not writing queer romance, she can be found indulging in true crime documentaries, advocating for civil rights, and fighting for equality for all.


For more information please visit www.taylorvdonovan.com

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars.****Review completed July 22, 2013



Kevin is sitting in a coffee shop in Manhattan, pretending to read a newspaper but at the same time he is checking out a sex shop that announced the availability of male peepshow booths. There's a constant coming and going but Kevin hadn't worked up the courage to go in. Yet. While contemplating his strained (sex) life, Kevin sees an unusual guy sitting all by himself in the coffee shop. After ogling the man for a while, Kevin leaves the shop and ends up in front of the sex shop. It's a quick decision and he heads straight to the male peepshow booths. When he is ready to jerk off a stranger says...

"Let me help you with that."

After returning the favor by giving the pretty thug a bad blowjob, Kevin is mortified and vanishes into thin air. And Cedric is absolutely besides himself because he cannot find Kevin anymore. Then out of the blue they meet again when Kevin goes back to school to learn how to read blueprints. His goal is to apply for a full-time job with Greenbriar International Builders to improve his financial situation. But first things first. He needs to get a diploma. It so happens that Cedric gives lessons at Metropolitan Community College and will be Kevin's future teacher. The story takes it from there.

"Do you know you look bloody gorgeous when you get all mad like that?"

"You want to have sex with me too."
"That's not the point," Kevin growled. "How the hell are we going to manage sex if you can't handle my germs?" he finished in a very low voice. "Anal sex is a messy thing, you know?"

He needs to get ready to kiss me…how difficult is this going to be?
"Isn't the mouth one of the dirtiest parts of the human body?" Kevin asked.
"And so is the anus, but that hasn't stopped me from being gay."
"So you just get over your phobia when you want to get laid?"
"I try to work around it."

"But I don't think you'll stay if we don't clear the air, and I want to see you here Tuesday night."
"Why?" Kevin's facial expression went from defensive to puzzled in the blink of an eye.
"Because I intend to shag you senseless after class.

"You know what my idea of perfect is?" Kevin whispered; his gaze glued to Cedric's. "You and I together, getting to know each other in a place that's not going to drive you up the wall."

"Good thing the kissing time is limited," he said huskily. "That tongue of yours makes me lose perspective."

Kevin's little girl Ava was super cute…

"Ric (Cedric) let me touch his hair. Iz soft," Ava added. "He's sick with Oz (OCD), and he don't like germs. I don't like bugs either."

"I'm going to wear a rainbow wristband for you and Cedric, Daddy," Brianna told him. "I want to show my pride and support."
"You should be purple, Daddy." Ava hugged him again. "Purple's pretty. Can I have a 'risband too?"

I'm familiar with Taylor's writing since I've read and enjoyed Six Degrees of Lust. And while Six Degrees of Lust provides a huge cast of characters, Disasterology 101 focuses mainly on the MCs Kevin Harrison and Cedric Haughton-Disley. I have to admit that I was slightly amused when I read Cedric's name for the first time, and of course their backgrounds as well as their physical appearances couldn't have been more different. One is rather "normal", an attractive blue-eyed man, divorced for almost two years and has yet to come out to his family. Kevin has a friendly relationship with his ex-wife and three adorable kids and is kinda short of money. The other one though, is anything but "normal". In fact, he is a filthy rich Brit with a prime family tree and is out of the closet for a long time already. He is hot and looks like a pretty thug with very long black cornrows and a lip ring. That specific man is a real fashion plate too. He is also a germaphobe with an extremely severe case of OCD. Plus, he is an architect and teacher who has achieved a lot in a short period of time. Being confined in your house with plenty of time at your hands can be real helpful when you want to study and achieve a few ambitious goals. Due to his mental illness Cedric spends a huge amount of money on therapy sessions and tries to live a life as normal as possible.

Kudos to everyone out there who is sharing their life with someone like Cedric. I'll be honest, I don't think I could do it. Everything must be planned from A to Z. Spontaneity is a foreign word. All those restrictions that Kevin had to deal with…again, kudos to that man. He truly had the understanding and patience of a saint. Cedric was wearing layers and layers of clothes, and I was wondering how someone can walk around like a mummy when it's so freaking hot in summer. These two couldn't just sleep together and when they did sleep together Cedric couldn't be naked. Giving him a blowjob meant Kevin had to suck off three!! condoms. Sucking off Cedric's fingers meant he had to lick his leather gloves. As a matter of fact, having sex with Cedric meant to respect a rather extensive list of boundaries. Holy crap! Talk about obstacles and difficulties. And don't get me started on the preparations BEFORE they could TRY to have sex. Hence, you need to read the book to understand what I mean because I cannot give you the whole shebang now. Besides, just spending time with Cedric was difficult. They couldn't go out anywhere or anytime without careful planning. Also, let's not forget the time restriction. Cedric could not spend an unlimited time among people and it doesn't come as a surprise when I tell you that he can't stand crowds either. And no touching without permission please etc. Being in his shoes must be incredibly frustrating when I think about all those boundaries and the constant showering, the towelettes and how many many times he had to change his clothes every day. Man oh man, his condition is a daily battle for…dunno…hoping to get a little bit better.



Minor quibbles
The writing felt a tiny bit repetitive but I guess that couldn't have been prevented. After all Cedric's illness is something he had to deal with on a daily basis and it was bound to be repetitive. On the other hand, the author made use of certain adjectives and/or recurring descriptions i.e. he is beautiful too often for my liking. I really got it that both of them were very attractive and gorgeous people. No need to tell me that over and over again.

I was a bit frustrated that these two couldn't talk earlier about Cedric's temporary stay in the States. I was like Come clean already and admit your feelings for each other! Since I had enough on my hands already I found it kinda needless. On the other hand, I must say that I appreciated the way Kevin's family reacted when he told them he was gay. No, scratch that, it was Ava who told them. Anyway, I just think that would have been overkill and I was happy that Kevins's parents and brothers did accept him without reservation.

While we're on it, Cedric not willing to discuss his erectile dysfunction did not make things any easier either Dude, that was irritating.

And last but not least I felt that the book was too long. The first half was almost perfect, I loved it and I thought it was close to a five-star rating, however, the second half dragged a little from time to time and Cedric's "drama" was kinda overwhelming and also exhausting.


As a side note
Those readers who don't like kids in their stories: Please give this book a chance. The kids are open-minded and nice. Honestly, they aren't annoying at all. Besides, there are even some funny moments provided by Kevin's kids.


One thing's for sure, I have never ever read such a story before. Also, I *think* the author did a really good job with the research of Cedric's illness and his characterization. Besides, I was glad that she did cheer up the serious subject matter with some well placed humor. All in all Disasterology 101 is a highly interesting read, even hilarious at times and also very engagingly written, however, what I missed a bit was the romantic aspect of the story. I didn't mind that the smexy times were few and far in between, but this is a story about love, family and at its core an evolving relationship. Hence, I really wanted to feel the romantic touch of the story but it is very unfortunate that I didn't. Don't mind my minor quibbles coz this book is well worth reading.

If you are looking for a different m-m read then look no further. You have found it.


Recommended read.

[Shin Mon Thway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, well, well, I’ve been tiptoeing around this book since it came out. 😂 You know sometimes how you have an intuition? Like .. you know a book is going to be good but it is going to wreck you in ways? 😁 I had the same feeling about this book so I was quite reluctant to pick this up but I’m very glad that I finally womaned up and read this book because this is a one gorgeous story. 💙


Kevin is a 36 years old divorced man with 3 kids who recently realized he’s gay. He had tried to live a life that’s not fit for him for more than a decade so now he’s all about being proud and out. 😉 Of course, he still had to find a way to come out to literally everyone he knows including his kids, his ex-wife, his parents and friends. The thing is Kevin has zero experience when it comes to having sex with men. He has never kissed a man, never touched a man and never had sex with a man before. So he desperately needs the gay rite of passage to anal sex and P-gasms. 😁 That’s when he met the pretty thug with cornrows aka Cedric Haughton-Disley. Both men thought it was a one time thing at a seedy sex shop but they can’t forget each other even weeks after their encounter. Both men didn’t even know each other’s names. 😌 But fate has a wicked sense of humor when it comes to love. 😉 When Kevin went to the local university in New York to get a certificate in Blue Print reading, he found out that his professor is the pretty thug who jerked him off and the source of constant wet dreams at nights. Both men are from different worlds. Plus, Cedric came with a manual when it comes to dating him. Kevin definitely has his work cut out for him if he wants Cedric to become his THE one.


This is a gorgeously written book but my god, it was quite exhausting in the beginning. As a principal, I usually stay away from books that has PTSD or OCD or mental problems. I, myself, have mild OCD so I know how difficult it is for people like us not to do things certain ways. 🙂 So when it comes to romance and stuff, I don’t want to read about it. It’s exhausting, heavy and difficult. But I think Taylor V. Donovan handled the issue masterfully. Cedric as a character frustrates me to no end but at the same time, made me keep rooting for him. And Kevin, oh, he really is an angel. 😍 I think he is the master sculptor who found that masterpiece sculpture in Cedric. This book is romantic, realistic, raw and authentic. 💜 And quite erotic despite Cedric’s multiple issues. And that epilogue was absolutely gorgeous. 👏 I loved it. 🥰 It really was so rewarding to witness the journey these two had to go through together to get their happy ending. It was dreamy and realistic at the same time. Highly recommended if you like raw, authentic and unique books. 😉




4.75 You bring out the best in me and make me whole stars
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 5 out of 5]

**4.5 stars**

This book worked for me and it worked for me so, so well! After seeing some of the reviews from other readers, I have figured out why I have such a strongly positive reaction to this book and why some others don't. My response to this book is similar to how I felt about The Truth about Riley. In both books, the MCs have so much to overcome to get to the "love" stage. They have scars, both internal and external, and have to really fight to make their relationship work. I loved the long, drawn-out courtships and the difficult journey to get to the happy endings. That type of book works very well for me. With this book. I felt like Cedric and Kevin really earned each step in their relationship.

I'll talk a little bit about what I loved about this book. Oddly, I liked best all of the intricate details of Cedric's OCD behavior. I loved the amount of research that the author took into really finding out how the mind of an obsessive-compulsive germaphobe worked. It felt incredibly real and incredibly heart-breaking. In one scene, Cedric vigorously and repeatedly cleans the areas that Kevin touched while he was at his house as soon as Kevin leaves. I actually cried after reading it because I got such a sense of the dichotomy of that scene- Cedric was the happiest and the closest to intimacy that he had ever been in his life but he still couldn't get out of the strangling hold of his OCD to enjoy the moment... and it killed him. Those type of scenes rang so true to me. I ate them up.

I even enjoyed the incredibly awkward and frustrating sex scenes. If Cedric (and the book) had skipped over the details of the before-sex-prep and the tension of those moments, I would have been really disappointed. I was dying to know how Cedric and Kevin would manage it all. I loved the combo of lust and struggle... it really grabbed me as a reader. How Taylor still managed to make these scenes hot is beyond me! Bravo!

I honestly enjoyed this entire book immensely. I can't even pick out favorite scenes and moments because I would just want to re-cap the whole story. My only quibble is that I would have liked to see more of how they worked out their sexual issues at the end. I would have liked to see the progression of them in the bedroom and find out how it all played out. I also would have loved to see the struggle and issues that would have come up if Kevin mentioned Cedric bottoming... because I know Kevin was interested in trying to top. I would have liked to see the discussion and maybe them trying to work something out. . I could actually see this book having a sequel- and I would love it! This type of complex couple... I don't think I could ever get tired of reading about them!

[☆ Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. If you're a fan of the USA Network's 'Monk' TV series and M/M romance, then I suspect you'll really enjoy it as well. The book is like the 'bastard love child' of the two. : )

The book followed a really great progression from Kevin's first attempts at dating in the gay scene, showing a lot of maturity on his part when balancing his physical desires with his emotional needs. That was really refreshing, as most gay newbies tend to immediately take the easier and more thrilling 'manwhore' route.



But when Kevin meets his 'pretty thug' and 'oddball', Cedric, something just clicks for them and we're led through a very emotional (and highly entertaining) roller coaster ride of neuroses, germ phobia and the journey to true love and, finally, self-acceptance.



My very favorite part was where...

Kevin was at TK's soccer game (Kevin's 14 y.o. son and awesome kid, by the way) and was being angrily confronted by one of his bigoted, old acquaintances about being gay and Cedric (in full out ghetto gear) got up in the assholes face and defended their relationship.

After which, Cedric calmly says to Kevin's true friends, who had been defending him against said dillhole:

“I’m Kevin’s boyfriend, by the way. My name’s Cedric, and I assure you, I’m a law-abiding citizen. Don’t let my appearance or recent actions reflect on him. Okay… Right… I need to go vomit now.” He grabbed Brianna’s hand, and turned TK away. “You coming, pet?”

Absolutely hilarious.



This book is a bit longer than most; however, I was completely captivated along the way and when the 362 pages were done, I really wanted more. Book 2, please... : )

It's been a while since I've given a book 5 full stars, but I found this book to be truly deserving.

[Sun · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is my first by author Taylor V. Donovan and I’m hooked.

It is odd, and quirky, and uncomfortable, and random, and sad, and hilarious, and sweet, and crude, and EXHAUSTING...and seriously enjoyable.

Kevin is a recently divorced dad of 3 who comes out as gay and finds himself a 36-yr-old “virgin” of sorts. Dying to have his first gay sexual experience, he heads into a sex shop for a “peep show”. To his surprise he encounters Cedric and immediately is drawn to him.

Cedric…well, Cedric has issues. He suffers from severe OCD and is a serious germaphobe. He has resigned to living a life with his conditions and tries to basically scare people away with his multiple piercings, his gansta dress-code, and his cornrows. He wears leather fingerless gloves to avoid direct contact. He is…erm…hard to get to know, hard to get to like, hard to get to love.

The book starts a bit slow…the author taking her time to introduce us to each character and the struggles they face separately all the while wondering about the other. When the couple finally does reconnect, I quite enjoyed the challenges they faced as they developed their relationship. Cedric is complicated and I found myself wanting to get to know him more and more. He is not entire likable but ultimately, so lovable. Kevin is patient and kind and supportive and rock solid.

I struggled a bit when the book turned from 2 people, each with issues to overcome, to Cedric having the issues and Kevin being the “haven”. The balance of power, so to speak , shifted from equally challenged, to one being the “problem” and one being the “fixer”.

The strength of the book, however, lies in the characters themselves. The layers that needed to be peeled away to get to the core were so worth it and I just loved getting the chance to be in each of their heads and their hearts. Cedric’s OCD was especially fascinating and I felt so sad for the challenges he faced because of it, but so proud for the triumphs along the way to deal with it.

Warning: there are kid parts to this book (I know that’s a deal-breaker for a few of you), but they’re handled well and not annoying. :)

Totally recommended reading.

Full review also found here: http://sidlove.wordpress.com/2013/07/...

[Jewel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disasterology 101 is yet another book I bought in 2015 that has been languishing on my Kindle until now. I know, I know... And now that I have finally read it, I'm wondering what took me so long! Truthfully, I think the reason I put it off for so long is the length. It's nearly 7000 locations on my Kindle. As it turns out, though, it was a pretty quick read, for me, and I finished it in just over a day. Verdict? I frakin' loved it.

The MC's and secondary characters were well sketched and real. The story was engaging and I was drawn in right away. I found myself very invested in Cedric and Kevin getting their happy ending -- and I was not disappointed! There are so many ways that unpleasant family angst (particularly ex-wife angst) could have been introduced, but with exception to one incident with the ex-wife that really ticked me off, even she was great. I'm not going to hold a single incident of judgmental insecurity against her since she did explain herself and apologize and was more than supportive. She wasn't a two-dimensional character, nor was she a third MC, and I appreciated that.

Kevin is a fantastic father and completely dedicated to his kids. He's been working two jobs and going to school in order to get a better position at one of the places he works, so that he can work a normal schedule and maybe end up with some free time for a social life. That is, when he can work up the courage to actually come out.

It isn't all rainbows and unicorns for Kevin when he did come out, unfortunately. Most of his family was supportive, even if they could have done better. I think they will in time. And his kids were fantastic! But Kevin got the last laugh, really, so all in all, I'd say the naysayers and bigots in the book can take a hike.

And Cedric -- wow, I am just so proud of him. He came to America to try to get a handle on his severe OCD issues and germaphobia. And it's a process. He's been so isolated for his entire life that he'd all but given up hope of ever finding anyone that would accommodate his rather long list of requirements long-term. He tries so hard, but he can't handle everything that most people can. But he still managed to get his degrees and is a very talented and skilled architect.

Cedric's really accomplished more than most people twice his age and that is while living with a debilitating mental illness, so I've really got to hand it to him. I don't know that I could have done as well. It does help that he comes from a very wealthy family, though, so at least he doesn't have to worry about money for treatment or living expenses.

I just loved this story! I'm sure I'll be thinking about it for some time to come and I would definitely recommend it :)

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This was my first Taylor Donovan book but certainly will not be my last. The blurb tells you what you need to know about the plot, but this is not a story that just throws OCD in as a quirky plot device for a few laughs in a lighthearted story. Very well written and researched, the author did a fabulous job of portraying Cedric and his struggle to live as normal a life as possible knowing he will live his entire life with therapy, medication and his disorders.

Cedric is an intelligent, 26 year old, upper class Englishman who has been in therapy for years, but since he moved from London to NYC his new therapist has been helping more than any one in the past. With severe germophobia, OCD, and anxiety attacks, it is a struggle just to leave his apartment to go to those places he is familiar with, no less to try and find a relationship. Kevin, a construction worker with three kids, having just accepted himself as a gay man at 36 should be the last person Cedric would feel comfortable with, but there is an undeniable chemistry between the two.

Kevin is almost saint-like at times in their relationship, loving Cedric for the person he is, not the person he would like him to be if only he wasn't ill, but he soon finds his limits as well. Living with a teenager with OCD, I am well aware of how hard it is to balance love and acceptance with the frustration of those days when you wish it would all just stop and I found their relationship hitting close to home more than once. Kevin is not only dealing with navigating his new life as a gay man (still closeted to his family), and his relationship with Cedric (which holds more potential pitfalls than just the obvious) but he is still supporting an ex-wife by working two jobs while going to night school.

There are some featured secondary characters including Kevin's ex-wife and their children, and a phone call between Cedric and his mother that sheds light on the life he lived in London. This is a character driven story that focuses on love and acceptance. Both MC's felt very real to me. It was funny, sad and romantic. In the end, there will be a HEA, but there is no cure all and they will be working for it every hour of every day.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

This book was long. And exhausting. The writing was great and I read it in one sitting. But still... exhausting.



This book is about Cedric who deals with severe OCD. He meets Kevin, a 36 year old divorced father. There is instant attraction and the two hit it off. But being with Cedric comes with a manual.

The rest of the book concentrates on all of Cedric’s quirks and how he and Kevin deal with it. I actually quite liked those parts. It was fascinating to read about Cedric and his need to count, to have everything a certain way, his need to clean everything and his aversion to bodily fluids.



But what tired me about this book is that Cedric and Kevin were fighting. All. The. Time. I can understand that it was hard for Kevin to be with Cedric and that Cedric sometimes couldn’t help himself. But these guys really needed to talk more.

I was exhausted after reading about them fight every few pages. The first half at least had the sex. The awkwardness of it didn’t even bother me at all. But the second half has no sex at all and it was a bit boring. And with these guys fighting all the time I was happy when I was done.

Now I need a nap.

[Camy · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 51%.

I read for pleasure. I received very little of such from this book.

The issues abound here. The OCD stuff is too much, way too much. Too much in its intensity, in its swamping of the story, in the focus placed upon it in the story (by the MCs) and in the authorial focus placed upon it as well.

This is much less a romance than it is a study in the life of a germaphobe. The relationship, such as it is, is highly unbelievable. Cedric embodies OCD and Kevin the dream guy who will stay with the fantasiser through thick and thin and endless bouts of woobie-ness.

I get that 'the broken MC' is a common contemporary trait but some books are taking it too far. This is one of them.

Besides such, the long stretches of interiority are tiresome and weigh the somnolent plot further. Added to which, the voice is too feminine for these men. And there is too much telling.

A large majority of the events, feelings, deductions and developments etc in this tale is told to us. This creates further disconnect from an already heavy and unrealistic story.

So, no, this did not work for me. And I am glad I borrowed and did not purchase this for $8.99.

[Kaje Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars . It's no secret that I like books with a touch of reality to the small details. More than anything, that was what appealed to me here. This was an excellent look at a main character with significant mental health issues, treated with compassion but not romanticized. I loved seeing Cedric dealing with real, serious limitations, and watching him and Kevin try to find middle ground they could come together on.

These guys' first sexual encounter was (wonderfully) about as far from the romance-traditional "best thing ever" as it's possible to get, and the good stuff went on from there. There were real side effects to medications, and times when the guys were unkind to each other out of stress and anxiety. Cedric's OCD issues were still present at the end of the book, although muted, and he was seeing a therapist throughout. There were times when his issues flared up and came between them. I admit, Kevin's patience with him, given how quickly they moved into a relationship, was borderline too good to be true. That lust-at-first-sight was really strong, I guess. But I like thinking there are guys like Kevin out there, who fall in love quickly and with their whole hearts and treasure that above small comforts and petty annoyances. Or not so petty. I did appreciate the occasional moments when Kevin became less than perfect in his stress-laden world.

What came across was the author's compassion for her characters, and her determination to get them to a happy ending without miracle cures for their problems. I enjoyed the writing style, and will be looking for more from this author. I hear she has a mystery series...

[Meags · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars

What a fabulous story. This one’s going straight onto my favourites shelf!

This story was super quirky and extremely moving. I absolutely adored the characters in this book. They were so very real and so very human. I can’t actually recall the last time I felt that the characters in a book I was reading were so well developed and fleshed out.

Cedric was one of the most fascinatingly complex characters I’ve ever come across. I couldn’t possibly get bored with this book if I tried, because Cedric, with his OCD and germaphobia, was a wonder to behold. He was intelligent and odd and vulnerable and brave and scared shitless most of the time, but he was constantly trying to better himself, and it was an amazing (and emotional) journey to witness.

Nothing could compare to having someone fall in love with you because you’re a head case and do a lot of weird things as a result – not in spite of being a head case and doing a lot of weird things as a result.

And then there was Kevin – what an amazingly resilient and loving man. This guy had the patience of a fricken saint! I can’t imagine it would be an easy feat to maintain a relationship with someone dealing with all the life affecting conditions that Cedric deals with on a day to day basis, but Kevin took everything in stride. He worked hard to both accommodate and aid Cedric in his therapeutic efforts to overcome some of his neuroses. This didn’t in any way make his character too perfect or idealistic. He still had flaws and often reacted to situations awkwardly and sometimes shockingly, but through it all he managed to be an impressively open and encouraging support to Cedric.

Don’t think you have to hide things from me in order to keep an illusion of perfection. I’ve lived long enough to know there’s no such thing… I want the real you, and that includes fears, neurosis, and everything else.

These two wonderfully complicated, complex men had to work for their happiness, both individually and together as a couple. They had actual issues to overcome, and not just one or two, but hordes of intense, potentially life altering, life affecting issues. They dealt with financial struggles, mental conditions, emotional barriers, physical limitations, societal and familial acceptance (and rejection) – basically they had to deal with a shit-ton of problematical real-life dramas, some of them quite upsetting.

I must say that I’m generally not a fan of kids in books, usually because I feel they aren’t often portrayed correctly (whether they don’t act their age or their behaviour doesn’t feel true to life) but here I adored Kevin’s three children. They added something special to this story, with their unbridled honesty, acceptance and unconditional love for their dad (Jesus Christ, I’m tearing up just thinking about it).

It was quite an exhausting reading experience, if I’m being honest, but I appreciated and respected every minute of it, and I look forward to exploring more of Taylor V. Donovan’s books.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

[Smutty Sully · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 disgusting star for this book , appalled doesn't cover it.

I don't have the bandwidth to dive into how OCD and Cedric being a germaphobe was painfully and offensively mishandled, so I'll just focus on: thug, cornrows, crying, bisexuality and a beautiful gay caricature.

Everything below is direct copied text from the book. And no, that's not even all of it.

Cedric: upper-crust white British guy. 6'2
Kevin: 5'11 blue collar guy (by his own description)


noun: thug; plural noun: thugs

1. a violent, aggressive person, especially one who is a criminal.

"he was attacked by a gang of thugs"

2. HISTORICAL: a member of a group or organization of robbers and assassins in India who waylaid and strangled their victims, usually travellers, and stole their belongings. They were suppressed by the British in the 1830s.


'Thug' is used 28 times in a 276 page book. In the first chapter alone, 'thug' is used TEN times.

The word thug has racial and cultural overtones and we all know when and why it's been used. 

So, how is Cedric a thug? He isn't, obviously, so why is it so cute and funny (hahahaha 🙄) to call a white man dressed in business attire a thug? (28 times, folks.) Is it the lip ring? Or the gauges in his ears? I don't think that's what defines a thug, is it? Ohhh...is it the "the blackest and straightest cornrows...hanging all the way to the middle of his back"?

Let's start with dipshit Kevin's first impression of Cedric's appearance:

Broad shoulders under a light blue dress shirt emphasized a trim waist. He wore a swirl-pattern tie, dark grey dress pants, and extremely polished black shoes, but Kevin doubted he was one of those professional guys from the area. The outfit was right, but the hairstyle wasn’t. He had the blackest and straightest cornrows Kevin had ever seen hanging all the way to the middle of his back, not something you usually saw on corporate types. He also had mid-size black gauges in both ears and a lip ring. He looked like a thug. An extremely pretty, fashionable thug, and he was wearing leather gloves, even though it wasn’t cold. Kevin couldn’t decide if the gloves were sexy or added to the illusion of danger. (1,2)

3. Kevin glanced at the pretty thug one last time on his way out of the coffee shop,

4. The guy had a dress shirt on. It was too dark to see if it was blue, but the gloves were the same kind the pretty thug from the coffee shop had been wearing.

   • Kevin was all up for it being the dude with the earrings and the crazy hair.

5. Pretty Thug reached between Kevin’s legs and pulled on his sac.

6. Kevin turned around and slammed Pretty Thug against the wall.

7. Another whimper escaped him when Pretty Thug grabbed his jaw, forced Kevin’s mouth to open wider and pushed his tongue inside. The guy had a damn tongue stud. (Don't forget the Thug/Cedric is a germaphobe and has OCD, supposedly at high levels.)

8. Pretty Thug grabbed Kevin’s hips, either pulling him closer or trying to resist him. (We are still on page 12, btw)

9. He almost came again just from hearing Pretty Thug groan.

10. Pretty Thug took off the condoms and pulled his briefs then pants up.

End of Chapter 1. 😃

11. Mortified as he was, he still got hard just thinking about the pretty thug. That guy with his fingerless leather gloves, his piercings and his refined attitude was fucking hot.

12. Even talking to the twink had felt cheap to Kevin, not intense and exciting like his encounter with the Pretty Thug.

13. A vision of tall perfection with black hair in cornrows ambushed Kevin’s memory. He wasn’t surprised. The pretty thug from the sex shop had featured in quite a few of his fantasies.

14. It happened at the most random moments, but a day wouldn’t go by without Kevin thinking about Pretty Thug.

15. Kevin agreed, but nobody had been able to get his engine revving the way Pretty Thug did.

16. Pretty Thug sat on the corner of the desk and realigned his books.

17. What the hell was Pretty Thug doing here?

18. Pretty Thug made brief eye contact with each student after he’d read their name and they raised their hand.

19. What if Pretty Thug didn’t kick him out, though?

20. He even liked the cornrows. They made Pretty Thug’s high cheekbones stand out. Was that his real hair or some of that synthetic stuff he’d heard about? Kevin hoped it was real… he’d love to see it out of the braids… he’d love to go down on Cedric while he had all that black hair spilling around him.

21. He glanced up. Pretty Thug’s eyes seized on him.

22. The man was, hands down, the biggest, prettiest, walking contradiction Kevin had encountered in his life. He was a rich boy who looked like a fashionable thug, but was an architect and a professor at twenty-six.

23. He glanced at Cedric out of the corner of his eye. Tonight he wore a long sleeved, form-fitting purple t-shirt, dark wash jeans and white sneakers with purple trim. The scarf with the skull design around his neck looked expensive as hell, and it was so high it almost covered his mouth. Cedric made no attempt to remove it. Kevin wasn’t surprised. One need not be a genius to figure out Pretty Thug got freaked out by germs, and fall colds with their accompanying sneezing were all over the place.

24. Kevin smoothed a hand up Cedric’s hard thigh, and cupped his hairless testicles. “Baby, please,” he pleaded, lifting and opening his legs shamelessly. “I want… shit, I want more.”
Cedric swallowed hard and blanched, but he nodded and reached for the condoms. Kevin grabbed the lube immediately. No way was he letting Cedric’s condition get in the middle. Not this time. Not when he was so close to getting what he’d been wanting for months: the pretty thug buried balls deep in his ass.
“What if I can’t?” Cedric asked quietly, lying on his side next to him. “What if I let you down?”

25. But he still couldn’t get over the way in which Cedric had snapped at Ava when she’d touched him. Instead of being able to get on Cedric’s case for using the wrong tone with his baby girl, Kevin was forced to bite his tongue, and simmer quietly. After all, only God knew what kind of reaction Cedric would have if Kevin gave him a hard time over it. He still wanted to take care of his pretty thug for the rest of his life, but fuck yeah, he was resentful, and that was only the tip of the iceberg. He was tired of waiting for Cedric to tell him why he’d cried a week ago, and the lack of sex was becoming an issue.

26. “Stop right there,” Kevin cut her off. “Just… stop.”
“Listen, I get that you have a new lifestyle, and that you had to start somewhere, but bringing your thuggish boy toy around my children is unacceptable.”
“Cedric is not my boy toy,” Kevin snapped, “and I would appreciate it if you stopped referring to him in such a disdainful tone.”

27. Kevin’s head snapped to the side, and sure enough, there he was, thugged out to the ninth degree, dressed in loose blue jeans, red sneakers, what looked like a red, long-sleeve t-shirt, and a black hoodie two sizes too big for his tall, lean frame. And a do-rag. The boy was wearing a half-red, half-black do-rag, along with over-sized sunglasses, and the biggest ear gauges Kevin had seen on him to date. They were so big, he could easily make them out from the distance, and there were at least a hundred feet between them.

28. The combination of thuggish attitude and impeccable manners Cedric had going on was one of the things he liked the most about the guy, and damn if hearing him now didn’t make Kevin two hundred degrees hot for his Brit.


More amazing content:


• Kevin stifled a moan. Soon he’d be sounding like a woman if he didn’t get hold of his reactions. “It feels wonderful.”


• Rosa was Roberto’s sister, and Cedric’s hairdresser. The woman responsible for those perfectly aligned cornrows Cedric liked so much.


• Cedric was highly aware his hair and clothes never made a good first impression, plus going by what Kevin told him she was already predisposed against his style, but he didn’t believe for a second his look was the problem.


• The guy moved his head to the side, making contact with Kevin’s hand. The cornrows were way softer than he had thought they would be.


• He gripped Cedric’s thigh with one hand and buried the other in his cornrows, only to drop both arms when he remembered he wasn’t supposed to touch.


• “No cornrows tonight?”
“Took them out when I got home,” he mumbled. “They’re too tight, and make my headache worse.”


• Sure enough, there was Cedric… like he’d never seen him before. Nothing was different about his clothes. Sweatpants and hoodies were Cedric’s standard ensemble whenever he was home, although the gloves were missing, and the black beanie was a new addition. Yeah. The outfit was the same ole’, same ole’. It was the hair that had Kevin gaping like an idiot. Instead of tight cornrows, an almost waist-length, silky-looking mane hung down Cedric’s torso, with a few strands floating around his pretty face.


• “I—I… Jesus, oddball...” Kevin cradled his face, and stroked his jaw and cheekbone. “I love you too,” he whispered, burying his hands in Cedric’s cornrows, and covering his cheeks, jaw, and lips with soft, tender kisses. “So fucking much.”


• Was that Cedric’s doing? Did seeing a gay man with cornrows on his head, and several piercings on his face, kicking a soccer ball like a pro, make homosexuality cool in those boys’ eyes? Did they even know Cedric was gay? Did Kevin have Cedric to thank for TK’s restored status among his friends?


• “Plus, there’s the fact you had the hardest time taking your eyes off TK’s karate instructor.”
“What?” He could feel his face turn red. Kevin thought he’d been discreet whenever he checked the little Asian guy out, which was all the time. Good Lord, but had he made Kevin hard. He couldn’t remember in how many of his fantasies the short guy with the compact body had starred.


• He hadn’t purposefully misled her by pretending he was heterosexual. Although he’d been attracted to guys, it wasn’t until after his daughter Brianna was born that Kevin seriously questioned his sexuality. He might not have talked to his wife about it, but prior to that point he’d been convinced he was bisexual. “I thought I was bisexual,” he said it out loud. It was important that Jenny knew this.


• Cedric felt his face redden in mortification, but he didn’t apologize for his meltdown. Twenty-six year old blokes shouldn’t be crying in front of their brand new lovers, but God knew nothing he and Kevin did was normal.


• He’d die if they saw him pulling his hair, and crying like a babe as he lost his shit over things they couldn’t comprehend.


• “Well, hello there! Are you Kevin? But of course you are. That’s why you’re here waiting, right where you said you’d be, and wearing a dark blue shirt, which means you have to be.”
Kevin’s head snapped toward the direction of the door just in time to see the dumbfounded diner hostess rush after a big, tall guy dressed in Easter colors.
“Excuse me, sir,” the hostess said. “May I help you with anything?”
“I’m meeting someone,” Vaughn said without looking at her. “We don’t need you, girlfriend. You can go back to your place.”
He dismissed the poor girl with a rude movement of his hand. “Love the shirt. It matches your eyes.”
Shit. Kevin barely stifled a groan. He should have made his escape when he had the chance.

• He got up from the corner booth seat he was occupying with the intention of shaking the newly arrived guy’s hand. Instead he found himself surrounded by arms that were covered by long pale green sleeves. He was also wearing a yellow and green sheer scarf and incredibly tight tweed pants. In August. Was the guy crazy or what? “I’m Vaughn, by the way,” he said after kissing both of Kevin’s cheeks. “Your date.”
“Nice meeting you,” Kevin muttered, incapable of returning the hug and almost pushing the guy away from him. He flopped down in his seat and gestured to the one across from him before Vaughn even entertained the idea of joining him. “Please ….” “Gladly.”

• Kevin watched in absolute horror as Vaughn put his purse down on the booth seat and crossed his arms on top of the table. Why the hell was the man carrying a handbag? Kevin looked around frantically, and almost slid under the table when he noticed Vaughn had managed to attract the other patrons’ attention. Wonderful. “Would you like to drink something first or can we just order?” Kevin pushed the menu toward Vaughn. The sooner they ate, the sooner Kevin would be able to run out of the diner. “Lord, but you’re handsoooooome!” And Vaughn wasn’t. Not that Kevin was the shallow type or totally hooked on physical appearance, but this guy looked nothing like his picture. He had to be close to fifty, and he was… well, he was a fruit. Total pansy. “Thank you.” Kevin checked his phone for messages. Hopefully his kids, his parents or his ex-wife would have an emergency and he’d have an excuse to get away from Mr. Loud and Flashy.
“So tell me.” Vaughn covered Kevin’s hand with one of his big, sweaty paws and caressed him softly. “Are you a top or a bottom?” Kevin’s jaw almost hit the table surface.

• “Excuse me?”
“Sorry if I’m coming on too strong, but no need to waste time on pleasantries if we aren’t compatible, right?”
Right. Of course. Made perfect sense. Everybody knew compatibility was measured by preferred sexual roles. Silly little details such as similar personalities or kindred spirits had nothing to do with it, and apparently no one knew it better than the gays.


• “Think getyourflameon.com overlooked some rather important criteria before perfectly matching us?” Kevin’s tone was sarcastic but Vaughn, the third strike against that blasted dating site, totally missed it. He just batted his long eyelashes and winked at Kevin. “Probably, but I’m not holding it against them. Gosh, you’re gorgeous.”
“I wonder why the website doesn’t include that question.”
“Maybe because they fancy themselves as true matchmakers, but we’re gay men. We know better.” Kevin must have looked as lost as he felt, because Vaughn patted his cheek and smiled widely. “Love is lost amongst us. We want to get laid… find a good sex partner... preferably one who’s negative. Nobody really cares about common interests and life goals.”
“I do.”

• “Only because you’re new, sweetheart.”
“I think you’re wrong.” Kevin wanted to go out with a guy that had at least a few similar interests. What the hell were they going to talk about if they had nothing in common?
“So?”
“So, what?”
“So, I want to fuck you,” Vaughn enunciated. “Are you ready to spread ’em for me or not?”
Kevin finished his glass of water and chuckled. He didn’t know if he should be grateful for, or insulted by, the guy’s brash attitude. “Lesson of the day,” he muttered under his breath. “Never assume a guy is a bottom just because he looks effeminate.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” Kevin traced the moisture ring left by the glass of water on the table with his index finger and tried to gather his thoughts.

• Truth was he didn’t know if he was a top or a bottom, as he had yet to have a gay sexual encounter. Whenever he watched porn he got turned on by both aspects of it, and when he fantasized about being with another man he gravitated between pitching and catching. Sticking his cock in some hot, tight asshole and being on the receiving end of a fat dick were equally appealing activities to Kevin’s libido. He wouldn’t be able to tell which one he preferred until he acquired some hands-on experience. One thing was for sure, though. He didn’t want to figure it out with the help of Vaughn Miller. “How about we forget lunch and go get a room in one of the motels on Route 1?”

• “I don’t think so.” Kevin tapped the table with his knuckles and locked eyes with Vaughn. “This isn’t going to work.”
“You’re a top, right?” Vaughn grabbed the edge of the table with his manicured hands and sighed deeply. “I had a feeling the moment I saw you. I mean, there’s no way in hell a gay jock like yourself would be bending over for this lil’ old queen.”
“I’m not a jock.”
“Oh?” Kevin put up his hand to halt any misunderstandings and shook his head slowly. “But it isn’t going to happen.”
“Bummer.”
Kevin chuckled. There was something almost endearing about Vaughn’s attitude. He probably should revise his standards and priorities, though. “I didn’t mean to waste your time.”

• “Exactly how long have you been dating other men?”
“It’s very recent, but long enough to know that I’m not into bears, twinks, circuit boys, show queens—”
“Or fashion victims,” Vaughn said, straightening out his silly scarf and bumping Kevin’s leg playfully under the table. “Let’s start again, shall we?” He offered his hand and Kevin, not quite sure of the guy’s new angle, shook it cautiously. “I’m Vaughn, I’m a widower and I’m desperately trying to hold onto my youth by seducing hot, young boys like yourself.”
“Okay… I’m Kevin, I’m divorced… I’m just trying to find my way.” He shook Vaughn’s hand one more time before letting it go. “I’m sorry things didn’t go as you would’ve liked.”
“Don’t worry about it. We all could always use a new friend, right?” He grabbed the menu from the table and smiled at Kevin. “Can I interest you in having lunch with me? All of a sudden I’m starving, and we could talk about the kind of guy you’re actually attracted to.”

• Kevin considered the offer. Now that Vaughn wasn’t trying to get him to go to the nearest motel, he could see the older guy was actually pretty cool and friendly. Kevin sort of liked him, and he could definitely use a friend. Besides, Vaughn looked sincere, so what the heck. Kevin leaned forward and shook his head again. “I don’t think I have a type,” he confided, his tone low and thoughtful. “Or at least I haven’t found it.” A vision of tall perfection with black hair in cornrows ambushed Kevin’s memory. He wasn’t surprised. The pretty thug from the sex shop had featured in quite a few of his fantasies. And they were bawdy. So much that thinking about it made him blush, and going by how big Vaughn’s eyes opened and the way in which he jumped up and down in his seat, he noticed. “Something tells me you’re lying.” He groaned. Vaughn chuckled. Kevin relaxed and smiled a little. “Come on, sweetie. Tell me everything about him.” Kevin spent the following hour talking about the sexiest man he’d met to date, and how he wished he could find him again. It was an extremely weird way to start a new friendship, but he was willing to take it.


• A noise that sounded suspiciously close to a sob escaped him at the memory of Kevin’s soft words, and Cedric got the hell off the roof before he lost it like a total pansy.


I am floored I've seen this recced for having good OCD rep.


 

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4,5 stars*

Unique issues, amazing MCs and so much in depth, complex characterisation.
The author must have done some extensive research on Cedric's debilitating condition - my heart goes out to anyone who has to fight for 'normality' just like he does. Some of it is truly heart-breaking.
But things aren't exactly easy for Kevin either - although he is incredibly understanding and almost inhumanely patient there are times when he is pushed to the limit. And I totally get why.

I have never read about one particular problem erectile dysfunction in a romance before and it was handled with extreme care and sensitivity.

So why not full 5 stars?
I was wondering if the scenario wasn't almost 'too much' - Cedric's medical problems are huge and would have offered lots of angsty moments and plenty of scope for an engaging story without the added problem of Kevin's late coming out and his coming to terms with his sexuality. Tbh, each character could have had a book for themselves with all the issues that came up!

Still - this is a wonderful book dealing with serious issues in a realistic and sometimes humorous way. What a fabulous start to the New Year!

[Papie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful, romantic, real love story, between two completely opposite imperfect characters.

Cedric has severe OCD and germophobia. He lives alone, has very few friends and is convinced relationships are impossible as nobody would ever put up with him.

Kevin is a divorced dad of three. He knows he is gay, but he is closeted and has never been with a man.

And somehow, it was lust at first sight, the kind that makes you obsess about the other person. Everything opposes them, but somehow, together, they just work.

I loved how real issues and frustrations and fights were portrayed. Living with mental health issues is hard. Hard on the person, but also hard on their families, friends, and partner. The author paints a vivid portrait of those struggles, with a well deserved HEA.

[Starr (AKA Starrfish) Rivers · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a strange enough book that I am starting my review 27% in.

Meet Cedric, 26 yrs old, Professor of design, rich and Brit with a deep voice, cornrows, dresses like a thug, always wearing leather gloves, OCD, 6'2", lots of piercings and gorgeous:



Meet Kevin, 36 yrs old, divorced father of 3, with a non-bitchy ex-wife, his first and only (before he realized he was gay), 5'11", handsome with "small eyes" and stocky, short, messy brown hair, butt virgin, Cedric's student and part-timer on Cedric's family's construction site:



OK, so my age profile is off with the pics, but you get the gist.

3.5 stars rounded down.

While I thought the writing was fine, it was a little too much to handle between ALL the issues the 2 MCs were dealing with individually and together. It's like... IMPOSSIBLE. For my escape fiction, while I like books with interesting characters (esp. ones with disabilities bc I love reading about the complexities, the strengths and weaknesses and ultimately how love helps triumph), this was escape into something... stressful. I don't want to be stressed while reading my escape fiction. I want to be entertained, lose myself in emotions, and feel VERY GOOD at the end.

I feel stressed.

Even with the "HEA" it's a stressful HEA. Nothing will ever be guaranteed and easy between these 2. So... not terribly happy about that.

[NicoleR.M.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

*re-reading November 2024*
Since I read this book originally 4 years ago, I have read so many mm romance books that there’s been a change in how I appreciate and rate them. This book still holds up for sure, but I did lower my original rating from 5 to 4 stars. There were some things that got on my nerves this time, but I can still see the reasons for loving it so much the first time I read it. I don’t regret re-reading, it was still really enjoyable.

Original review:

Well, I just finished this one and this was undoubtedly one that went straight to my favorites shelf.
There was so much to love about this book!

First of all, I loved how Jenny, the ex-wife, responded to Kevin's coming out to her. She was loving and caring and I appreciated tremendously that she wasn't portrayed as another one of those bitchy ex-wifes that are caricatures of real life. Later on in the story, after she meets Cedric, I was afraid the author did go there, but fortunately she didn't. Jenny was real. She was ok with her ex-husband being gay, but, as she stated it herself, seeing it in front of her eyes is a totally different thing, even when there was no 'gay-thing' going on. But just the unexpected confrontation with Kevin having found a potential boyfriend - and one that looked like Cedric did - was something she wasn't ready for at that moment, and I could really get that. She felt very human in her emotions and reactions. Not perfect, like real people are.

The way the author described Kevin's coming to terms with him being gay, sounded very realistic to me, although I'm not a man and not gay either, so it might be hard to really understand, but it felt like real to me while reading about Kevin. His search for the satisfaction of his sex life he had craved for so long, his desperate need to find out what gay sex would be like and what it would do to him. The longing, the wanting and the needing. I think the author made a perfect description of all that.

Then there was the first time sex between Kevin and Cedric - apart from their encounter in the sex-shop - and it was perfect. Well, the act itself wasn't perfect, but again, perfectly described. The awkwardness with Cedric's rules, Kevin responding to it. The whole being a virgin thing. I have hardly ever seen it described so perfectly as it was here.

...and if you decide to stay, your first time will be with someone who's scared shitless of not being able to perform, and has no idea how to rock your world.

Those guys had to work for their hea. And they had to work HARD! But I appreciated every single minute I watched them get there. They deserved all the happiness they could find in each other, but all the struggles they had to overcome were only realistic and human. I mean, having to deal with a partner who struggled with OCD and who had a phobic for germs, who, in all ways, had a difficulty dealing with real life outside of his apartment (but he tried so, so hard!) must be tough and exhausting sometimes. Then, on top of that, Cedric was having sexual problems due to the side effects of his medication, and again, that topic was handled really well.
Kevin still held on to what he felt for Cedric, for his believes that they could have a real relationship. I liked it when the author turned things the other way around and Kevin was the one in need of someone to be there for him and she, once again, made it realistic how that was a problem for Cedric and all he could do was his best. He wasn't suddenly cured because of love.
The epilogue was epic in that matter. As a reader you could get a glimpse of how their life together would be, always having to deal with Cedric's issues, things that would never heal of magically disappear. But they were both invested, they both tried so hard to get to know each others ticks and tricks and that worked for them.

I am not always a fan of children in books, usually I don't pick up a book when one of the mc's is a divorced father. But it worked really well here. I loved Kevin's kids. They were portrayed as real human beings, as kids who acted upon their age and I enjoyed that very much and the way Cedric responded to them when he first met them, seemed all too real. I don't know anyone with such a severe cause of OCD, but the author clearly did her research on the topic. You could tell Cedric needed his time to get to know the children, and even if he wanted to badly, his mental issues got in the way and he would need a lot of time to adjust. But the fact he was willing to push his boundaries, was sweet enough to watch.
And how I loved that scene on the soccer field where Cedric stood up for Kevin and went on a rage against Kevin's former homophobic best friend!

I'm Kevin's boyfriend, by the way. My name's Cedric, and I assure you, I'm a law-abiding citizen. Don't let my appearance or recent actions reflect on him. Okay...Right...I need to go vomit now.

All in all, I have to say this book surprised me in a very pleasant way. I loved it hard and I'm sure there will be a re-read in the future.
I know I'm a bit late to the party, but for the ones who, like I had, still have it on their tbr, please pick it up, because it is totally worth it. I'm sure you won't have any regrets.

[Jilrene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the beginning. Up to about 40-45% I was into it. Then, I lost interest. I took a long break at 60% or thereabouts. I picked it up today and read to the end. I loved it. The characters are difficult to get to know. I think it's on purpose, because these are a couple of really complex men. I recommend this book for people who love oddballs. It truly is well written.

[Fabi NEEDS Email Notifications]

DNF @ 8%

I know I didn't give it much of a chance. But when the story opens with a 36 year old acting like a 16 year old, and a mentally ill MC mysteriously overcoming his disability to hook up with a stranger in a seedy place, I don't think the story can turn around for me given time.

[SueC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Germs... Count... Symmetry...
Count... Rituals... Count... Germs...
Germs... Count... Symmetry...
Count... Rituals... Count... Germs...

Lets face it, this book is at times, well, exhausting. But you know what? It has to be, because OCD IS EXHAUSTING and without this painfully honest presentation of constant anxiety induced ritualistic behavior we wouldn't feel a fraction of what it's like to suffer from this illness. So yes it was hard but suck it up princesses; it puts us in the shoes (or rituals) of a person living like this everyday.

This story is at heart a "Love Conquers All" dedication. The MCs first meet in the unlikeliest manner, they collide in spectacular fashion, and then slowly navigate their way to 'togetherness'.

“You’re a germaphobe and I’m always dirty. That combination has disaster written all over it”

Watching them learn to understand each other was really wonderful. And I understood these characters, their intentions, motivations and reasoning too. I love that.

Let's talk about the MCs or rather, the gems which Donovan (author) has very cleverly crafted:
Firstly we have Cedric; sweet, frightened, anxiety riddled, OCD ridden, kind and brave Cedric. He dresses like a gangster rapper and has his hair in cornrows. He has lip and tongue piercings, wears baggy jeans and hoodies that are two sizes too big. His physical presentation is his armor shielding him from the world. And he is simply delightful. He is also terrified of life and he struggles in nearly all aspects of daily life. There's a wonderful analogy of him that I can't help but quote:

"Dr Black asked "How did you feel in that club?"
"Out of place" Cedric mused "Most of those chaps reminded me of peacocks. Tall, short, young, older, shaved, waxed or scraggy looking... but they all behaved like peacocks"
"Did anything positive come out of your visit...?"
"I realized I could never be a peacock. I'm more of an Emperor penguin. They take long trips to find a mate, and are serially monogamous"

See, he just wants to be in a loving committed relationship.

Next we have Kevin; Lord have mercy, we all need a Kevin in our lives. He's so damned lovely, calm and diligent, patient, considerate and insightful. He’s always been a family man first and foremost but then he finds a new non-negotiable force in his life; Cedric. He goes totally out if his way for him... but isn't that what you do for love?

Kevin sees the person behind the illness. He sees Cedric.

It seems that Donovan (author) has spent a helluva long time thinking about these characters. There were so many moments where I stopped and said "uh-huh! Would you look at that, Kevin just..." or "sheesh, that's a great example of what Cedric...". We were constantly shown the character’s intentions, motivations and reasoning and that made for some really interesting reading.

My only gripes were that it got a bit cheesy about 2/3 of the way through. The ex-wife was a little too ‘typical’ for my liking and I think that 80 or so pages could’ve been dropped without any detriment to the story. But that’s ok :)

I should also point out that I thought it was LOL funny. So much so that I cracked up while sitting in a very quiet waiting room and had to apologize to everyone for my outburst.

And finally, this book has the word ‘schlong’ in it. In a perfect world I’d rate up for just that little darling right there... but alas...

Taylor. V. Donovan: I'm a fan.

P.S. It’s been a couple of days since I finished it and you know what? I wanna read it again :)

[MaDoReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5 redondeadas al alza por la segunda mitad del libro que me ha parecido mucho mejor llevada.

No voy a mentir, el primer tercio del libro me tenía al borde el DnF, se me antojaba "demasiado", pero la cosa empieza a cambiar alrededor del 47% y mejora mucho. Kevin es un santo y también tiene lo suyo, pero es Cedric el que te acaba desarmando, se me encoge el corazón sólo de pensar en ciertas partes...

En general me ha gustado, pero me ha parecido un libro desequilibrado en algunos momentos, unos obstáculos son facilísimos de pasar y otros están presentados en su justa medida la aceptacion de los hijos, los padres la ex... Todo eso es muy muy fácil, en cambio el retrato de la aceptación por parte de su entorno me parece mucho más ajustado Especialmente agradecida a que no haya cura mágica por amor, hay medicación y hay terapia, si eso lo aderezamos con un incondicional Kevin, esperemos que el éxito esté asegurado.

[Vivian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn't expect to enjoy this as much as did.

This could have been a disaster to read. So many things could have set me off, but it didn't happen. Donovan didn't shy away from illustrating the serious repercussions of Cedric's condition or his medication. Watching both characters deal with the effects were inspiring/terrifying/cringe-worthy wanted to curl in a ball/exhilarating. Meds screw with the body and expecting it to perform when your tilting hormones sideways is unrealistic, but seriously, the 'grab the bull by horns' approach to the situation here was brave and honest.

The initial meeting between Cedric and Kevin was hot and nasty and boy was I surprised by where it went after that. How Kevin handled Cedric and accommodated his needs because he wanted to be with him was patient and beautiful. How Cedric constantly challenged himself to be more to be with Kevin. How they both incorporated their lives and came to decide what was important. Most of all, the realization that life isn't an end goal. it's a series of steps and there is no perfect to shoot for, but there is perfectly happy and blessed now.

~~Side note: The first prescription doesn't always meet the needs of an individual. Finding the right meds and dosages takes time and depending on the severity and number of meds in play can take years to get right. Please keep that in mind and talk to your physician if something seems wrong.~~

[AliciaJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to give this one more than 5 stars. It was amazing.

[Candice · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5
I had a very hard time getting through this book. It just seemed to move at such a slow pace with not much going on to really move the story along until the last 15% of the book. I just could not get into Kevin or Cedric and found it very difficult to see them as couple. Kevin just seemed to take everything Cedric dished out and was just way to understanding, it made me not really like his character too much. I stuck with the story because i wanted to see how things would turn out and even found the ending a little bit of a disappointment. I believe in people overcoming and dealing with a disability, and while I do not know anything about OCD or have met anyone with that condition, I didn't find Cedric changing to be around more people, especially a room full of children and handling it with no problem realistic on how his condition was described from the beginning. If he has had this condition all of his life and it has effected him so much, I don't believe that just because he loved someone and considered them safe, his OCD would change. I don't know if it was because this book seemed so long to get anywhere or what, but once again it appears that I am in the minority in not liking the story.

[Candice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This would have been a 5 Star book from me, but I felt that there wasn't enough progress on Cedric's part. In the Epi, having to change the sheets 3 times in the middle of the night just to sleep next to each other? Taking 6 showers a day???

This is a story about Kevin and Cedric. Kevin is a divorced, father of 3, who has finally come to terms he's gay. He desperately wants to get to know someone before jumping into bed with a man, but he's a tough time with that. So he ends up going into a "peep show" and someone follows him in there. He keeps telling himself there's nothing wrong with casual, but being a gay virgin I couldn't get on board with that. I've heard too many horror stories about anonymous first times and they make me cringe. I didn't want that for Kevin, the sweetheart. I didn't like how he would do something to Cedric, like show up unannounced, and get mad at Cedric for being mad; then turn around and get mad at Cedric for showing up unannounced. Ummm.....

Cedric, oh man, what can I say about him? His OCD was out of control. To the point of throwing up, covering up every inch of his body with clothing, making Kevin shower, etc. I saw improvement, but then it plateaued. I wanted to see more interaction with his family. How did he handle having Kevin's friends over for dinner? What about Kevin's family? I would have liked to see him out of his comfort zone more.

I do, however, think that being around Kevin's kids are going to be a good thing for Cedric. I also loved how he considered himself their stepdad from almost minute one! Was it because he wanted to love them the way he was never really loved by his own family? Either way, it melted my heart!!

Overall, I recommend this :)

[Trio · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was absolutely wonderful!

I shouldn't be all that surprised by TVD, her characters are always marvelously complex, but the way she got into Cedric's head was amazing. The depth of Kevin and Cedric's relationship and the journey of that story really blew me away.

Truly an incredible book.

[Gwennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It was about feeling fulfilled, forming a bond, and knowing you belonged together.”

Reading Carry the Ocean last week put me on a path of reading romances with unconventional heroes. Or at least, it put me back on that path since it’s always been a storyline I’ve enjoyed. Anyway, it led me to The Mating of Michael, and it also led me to Disasterology 101.

Disasterology 101 is the story of a man, recently divorced, who has accepted the fact that his generally happy marriage ended because he was never sexually attracted to his wife. He realizes that, while he tried to ignore it when he was younger, he is actually gay and he’s ready to embrace a new lifestyle with the right man. The right man happens to be Cedric, except Cedric is severely OCD with both rituals and a debilitating fear of germs.

For being such an intense story, it was surprisingly tender with very low angst. Yes, there are problems that come up. Sex is a huge issue, because sperm and saliva are full of germs. Cedric can’t even handle people breathing on him, let alone touch him with their tongue. In addition, Kevin has 3 children. Children are little germ factories, as any parent can attest to. As a reader, you wonder how in the world they can overcome any of this.

With a lot of work, that the author doesn’t gloss over. Kevin has an immense amount of patience as he helps Cedric feel safe with him. While he helps Cedric push his boundaries, he also knows that this is who Cedric will always be and he also works on learning how to make concessions. Cedric also learns how to be what Kevin needs. He works hard to extend his illness, bend the lines, kiss longer than 3 seconds, and be around the children.

I also loved the way Cedric cloaked himself in the punk/thug style. The fact that his style was so different than how he actually was inside, how he used it as a shield to keep people at bay, reminded me of myself in my youth. There is something about piercings that make you feel tougher than you actually are inside. It’s away of saying, “Don’t mess with me”, and it works.

(My only issue, and the only reason this book is a 4 star read, is simply because I have a pet peeve about characters reading one way at the start of the book, and then turning out to be something completely different. The first couple chapters gave the impression of Cedric being the mans man, and Kevin felt more sensitive. Then it flops. I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. I got over it quickly.)

Disasterology 101 was so good that I’ve been unable to start another book. I keep looking through my bookshelf and Kindle, praying for something to jump out at me that would be the perfect cure. So far nothing.

I find that I’m tempted to start reading it again.

“He felt happy, and relieved, and had a new appreciation for pop culture. Special thanks went to a brave NBA CEO who dared to come out as a gay man, Kurt and Blaine, and the folks from Modern Family.”

Reviewed at Birdie Bookworm.

[BevS · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yay!! 5 stars from me. Another story that's finally seen the light of day, having been buried in my mountainous to be read pile for nearly 2 years...eek!!



An unusual but fabulous read from Taylor set in New York featuring Cedric and Kevin. Cedric, eccentric young English guy who is a germaphobe and suffers dreadfully from OCD and other things but is trying to get his life back on track. He needs to be away from his extremely wealthy but shamefully apathetic English family to do that and gets a job teaching at a college in the Big Apple for as long as his visa will allow, hooks up with a new therapist and tries different medication...and things are finally starting to come together for him.

Kevin is a recently divorced dad of 3 from New Jersey who has finally had the courage to come out of the closet to his wife but no one else yet and needs his cherry popping. They meet in a sex shop, it's an absolute disaster and they disappear without swapping contact details BUT surprise, surprise...guess who one of Cedric's new students is?? Both guys are keen on one another but will Kevin bolt when he finally realises just how much work getting together with Cedric will involve, how frustrating things will get (with no explanation) AND how much is wrong with him?? He'll need to have the patience of a saint and a shed load of compassion that's for sure....

I admit to crying real tears reading this one. The interaction between Cedric and Kevin's 3 children was just so touching, amazing...and yes, of course, there were bigots in Kevin's family and even friends who had known him since he was a kid turned against him, afraid to catch the 'gay'. A truly delightful story. Many thanks Taylor.

[Mirian · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m going to go ahead and DNF the fuck out of this book because what the FUCK did I just read.

Quote taken verbatim from book:

He was about three inches taller than Kevin’s own five foot eleven, and looked six years younger at the very least. Broad shoulders under a light blue dress shirt emphasized a trim waist. He wore a swirl-pattern tie, dark grey dress pants, and extremely polished black shoes, but Kevin doubted he was one of those professional guys from the area. The outfit was right, but the hairstyle wasn’t. He had the blackest and straightest cornrows Kevin had ever seen hanging all the way to the middle of his back, not something you usually saw on corporate types. He also had mid-size black gauges in both ears and a lip ring. He looked like a thug. An extremely pretty, fashionable thug, and he was wearing leather gloves, even though it wasn’t cold.

OKAY!

Let’s unpack the layers of systemic racism and implicit bias embedded in this portrayal. When the main character (MC) is described with cornrows—a traditional and culturally significant hairstyle within the Black community—and simultaneously labeled a “thug,” it reveals a troubling connection that reflects broader societal prejudices. This association is neither incidental nor trivial; rather, it aligns with a long history of Black people in America, especially in corporate spaces, being policed and discriminated against for their natural hair or culturally specific hairstyles.

First, let’s address the issue of hair discrimination. For centuries, Black individuals in America have faced microaggressions and outright racism because of how they choose to wear their hair. Hairstyles like cornrows, locs, and afros are not merely aesthetic choices; they are deeply rooted in Black culture and history. Cornrows, in particular, trace back to pre-colonial Africa, where they served as a form of artistic expression, a marker of identity (tribal affiliation, status, or age), and even a survival tool during slavery. During the transatlantic slave trade, enslaved individuals braided seeds into their hair for sustenance and sometimes mapped escape routes through their braiding patterns.

Despite this rich history, Black hair has been stigmatized in predominantly white corporate environments. Policies and unwritten norms often favor Eurocentric beauty standards, pressuring Black individuals to conform by straightening their hair or avoiding traditional styles. This has led to lawsuits and movements like the CROWN Act (Creating a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair), a legislative effort to ban race-based hair discrimination in schools and workplaces. As of 2025, the CROWN Act has been passed in over 20 U.S. states, yet many Black professionals still face biases and stereotypes about their hair.

Now, consider the juxtaposition of “cornrows” with the term “thug.” Historically, “thug” has been weaponized as a coded racial slur, particularly against Black men, to paint them as violent, criminal, and uncivilized. This rhetoric gained traction during the Civil Rights Movement when Black activists were demonized as threats to societal order. It was further amplified during the War on Drugs in the 1980s and 1990s, where media portrayals and political speeches frequently used the term to dehumanize Black individuals, particularly young men. By pairing the cultural marker of cornrows with the derogatory term “thug,” this description perpetuates harmful stereotypes that equate Black identity and cultural expression with criminality.

The language choice here is not just offensive but also reflective of structural racism in storytelling. It reinforces a narrative where Blackness, especially as expressed through hair and style, is seen as incompatible with professionalism, civility, or respectability. This perpetuates a damaging dichotomy: Black individuals are scrutinized for embracing their cultural heritage while simultaneously being forced to conform to Eurocentric standards to be deemed acceptable in corporate or mainstream spaces.

This isn’t just a fictional or aesthetic issue; it mirrors real-world consequences. Black people have been denied job opportunities, promotions, or even education because of their natural hair or culturally significant styles. Consider the 2010 case of Chastity Jones, who lost a job offer because her locs were deemed “messy,” or the countless schoolchildren sent home for wearing braids or afros. These are not isolated incidents—they are part of a systemic issue that devalues Black identity.

In sum, the pairing of “cornrows” and “thug” is not merely a poor word choice; it is an act that reinforces centuries of bias, discrimination, and erasure. It underscores the need for awareness in how we discuss Black culture and identity—whether in corporate policies, storytelling, or everyday interactions.


And to add insult to injury I think the mc is white (please correct me if im wrong I could give a fuck less to read further into this cause I just had to stop)

[Aeren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cedric es guapo,alto, rico, inteligente y padece OCD así como otras fobias, Kevin está recién divorciado, tiene 36, 3 críos e intenta aceptar que ha pasado su vida adulta negándose que es gai. Los dos se encuentran de forma fortuita y la vida de ambos cambia para siempre.
Personajes bien trazados, secundarios decentes y un estilo que me ha resultado muy agradable, no conocía nada del autor aunque tengo alguno más por el kindle. Debo confesar que me declaro fan de Cedric, el tema de la novela es bastante original y la forma en que está tratado muy, muy correcta. Me encantó que no haya una cura mágica y que al final San Kevin demostrase que puede ser tan humano y (tan tonto) como el primero. Sin embargo para mi la estrella del espectáculo es Cedric, hubo momentos en que se me encogía un poco el corazón por él. Genial.
A pesar de ello hay algo que no me ha acabado de convencer, si bien el autor se explaya tratanto el tema de las compulsiones de Cedric, sentí que cuando llegó el momento de narrar la parte en la que Kevin sale del armario estaba leyendo un guión, ahora toca escena de la ex celosa, ahora escena niños, ahora escena del ex amigo cabroncete y homófobo, ahora escena redentora... no sé, muy apresurado y previsible, sobre todo si lo comparas con la otra parte del libro, la cual es brillante. Otra cosa que me hizo salirme un poco fueron los diálogos: el libro está bellamente contado, lenguaje rico sin llegar a ser rimbombante, pero algunos diálogos me resultaron... ¿poco creibles?, llamadme rara pero no conozco a mucha gente que diga: "Todas y cada una de las terminaciones nerviosas de mi cuerpo cobran vida cuando me tocas" en mitad de una sesión de petting... o que justo antes de la primera y hermosa escena de sexo penetrativo Kevin piense que como "no controle sus emociones acabará comportándose como una mujer". Me sacó completamente de mi zen, lo siento. Con todo, creo que es un libro que merece mucho la pena porque el tema central y el personaje son realmente de los que se quedan un poco contigo. Muy bueno.

[Niinii · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked it! I wish this author would come back and write some more.