Conversations with S. Teri O'Type

by Christopher Allen

Curt Child is a man who just can't seem to get gay, so he's enlisted the help of his oldest--and gayest--friend S. Teri O'Type to drag him a few inches down The Road of Greater Gayness.

Also available on Kindle.
http://www.amazon.com/Conversations-T...

Genres: M M Romance, Humor, Fiction, Romance, Contemporary

244 pages, Paperback

First published August 28, 2012

About the author

Christopher Allen is the author of the flash fiction collection Other Household Toxins (Matter Press) and Conversations with S. Teri O'Type (a Satire). Allen is a multiple nominee for the Pushcart Anthology, Best of the Net, storySouth's Millions Award and The Best Small Fictions, He has garnered acclaim from Glimmer Train, Indiana Review, Ginosko Literary Journal, Exeter Writers, Literal Latté, The Best Small Fictions and many others. Allen lives in Germany and is the managing editor of SmokeLong Quarterly.

Read more at www.imustbeoff.com

Reviews

[SANDRA]

If I could give this a ten star I would!! This was the nomination winner for our M/M BOTM In Bookholic Anonymous.

I absolutely fell in love with this book! I have to warn you though it is not anything like you would expect from a story. It's truly one of a kind. Had me laughing from the very first page.

We meet Curt Childs, who is an accounter, who is gay but no one knows it and all he wants to do is find his true love, some one who is a cuddly bear, who he can share his love and time. Who he can come home to and get a foot rub, and be happy. But first he needs to become more gay (yes the man is not as gay as you would expect) so he turns to his old college roommate, who is a very gay man, flamboyant Teri (who prefers to be called Oh, Mighty Gayru! = OMG)and his gay dog Cary Grant. Now Cary Grant is a character! He is the most funniest and darling dog I have had the pleasure of meeting! So we are taken into a journey that will make Curt Childs, accounter, into a gayer man. So he can find himself a partner. So we see how his classes/lessons in Gaytuition ( I am sorry if I am using the wrong verbiage here I am trying to remember everything I want to put in the review but it is just too much running in my head).

So I will leave you all with a You need to read it to find out what I am talking about.
I feel like we should make up a club just for fans of this book. It was really funny, and made me think upon the lesson, Christopher Allen, was trying to convey! Which was to BE YOURSELF, no matter what because at the end, you will always find what fits you and not what you or other people think is you... <3 <3 <3

And if you did not know what a Satire is here's the definition (it took me a moment or two to figure it out) is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement.[1] Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire

[Christopher Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to review my own book now. I spent years writing it, so I guess I know it, well, well.

Curt Child is boring. He's not a masculine guy; he's just a guy who hasn't paid very much attention to his own "gayness". He's made it into his mid-forties without anyone knowing he's gay (or so he thinks). So he enlists the help of his oldest and gayest friend, S. Teri O'Type, to drag him a few inches down The Road to Greater Gayness.

The author (me) presents this non-journey in a series of lessons. The flash satire nature of this story seems like cartoon episodes with a vague storyline--similar to adult cartoons like The Simpsons or Family Guy. Outside the individual episode, these absurdist, circular sketches focus on the absence of plot and the opposite of learning--and that's what the author (me) is doing here. If you are looking for a conventional plot with characters who develop in the ways you've been taught to accept, you probably won't like this book. If you are pretty, you probably will. Joke. Joke. Joke.

The dialogue is a train wreck between a guy who thinks he knows nothing and a guy who thinks he knows everything about being gay.

Fortunately for Curt he learns nothing . . . and everything.

I hope you laugh; I hope you cringe. You are all pretty.

[Kazza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so very glad my blog partner, Cindi, has reviewed this book because it's awfully difficult to do it justice in a review.

First of all, going into it, remember it is a satire - it's meant to make a statement, point out irony and, in this case, look at stereotypes.

I'm not reviewing just making comments -

It is a funny book. I literally laughed out loud at the language and the situations that occured. S. Teri O'Type is a hoot. I know he can be bitchy, I mean he doesn't really eat, how snarky are you when you don't eat? - covered in the book.

I liked Cary Grant, S. Teri O'Type's Jack Russell. Maybe, actually, he pretty much said errrrr or, when channelling Tchaikovsky, errrrrski, but it was a thought provoking, funny errrrrr. Maybe I'm biased I have a Jack Russell and she says errrrrr quite a bit too; and she's an opinionated bitch!!

I loved the homocabulary and the references to pop-culture - Beyonce, Lady Gaga, clothing, diet, being 'beautiful' included.

I loved how there was this huge chasm between S. Teri O'Type and Curt in terms of behaviour - but they're both representative of gay men (obviously they are over exagerated.)

But apparently Curt needed to dig deep and exude more 'gayness' to meet another gay man, to be noticed. Watching football, enjoying his hetero friend's company, Ed, Ed, boss, and Ed would not do. If he was to meet someone who might want to share his life things needed to change, according to S. Teri O'Type. If no-one could tell Curt was gay, what would come of that? -

Yesterday everything was so clear: I liked guys therefore I was gay. But along comes Teri, and there's a whole world of greater gayness out there that I've somehow missed.

Teri takes over and insists on being called Oh! Mighty Gayru or OMG for short. Loved it! OMG will take Curt down 'The Road to greater gayness.'-

"Oh Curt. Try to understand. You must notice that my humour and tone are derived from Karen on Will & Grace...."

Of course our confused Curt is unsure about that one -

"Still lost. Is Karen gay? Is she a man?"

There were so many 'lessons to be learnt' including gaytuition, gaygiene, listening to gay gurus, how to get gaythin, having a gay mien, pursing (as in one's lips) and so much more....

And of course the way you walk - hand to clavicle The way you dress, designer all the way, baby - including $300 upwards for one T-shirt....is important

One of the funniest moments, to me, was the description of Friends, as in the characters of the sitcom, relating to people that make good people to apsire to, good friends, and who not to aspire to - according to OMG. Also, the Golden Girls is used for the same. I mean Curt is forty five, Golden Girl material in gay years, and he could be one of those Golden girls, Dorothy maybe? No matter who, it was funny.

I have more than a couple of gay men in my life and there is definitely some of the O'Type in there for a couple, some of Curt in others, and some in between. A few more lean towards Teri, but of course he's a teensy weensy bit larger than life and a tad over exaggerated :)

This is not a M/M romance book, although the search for a partner is on for Curt and, due to Teri's lessons, Curt nearly misses the boat on that one.

I loved the message - be who you are, be true to you and go with your feelings on what makes you happy, not others.

There is so much more to this book. It has to be read to appreciated. Plus to reveal too much is to spoil it. If you're looking for a satirical look at gay culture, what (some) people think about gay culture, what is essentially a funny, well written piece of craziness, with meaning, look at reading Conversations with S. Teri O'Type. It's a delightful book.

[scavola scavola · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really hit home with me as I have similar thoughts on what it means to be gay / why I’m not ‘good enough’ to be gay.

“Curt Child is your everyday man in his mid-forties, but he has a problem. He just can't seem to get gay enough for anyone to notice, and that's why he's enlisted the help of his oldest--and gayest--friend S. Teri O'Type to drag him a few inches down The Road to Greater Gayness.”

This book interested me in that I’m in a similar situation, although I’m not in my mid-forties, far from it, by at least a few years . . . oh well. I recently moved back home, leaving my comfortable little world behind. I have to make new friends, but I’m so out of touch with ‘the gay community’. After 30, you’re considered ancient, I’ve gained weight, there’s some gray in my hair, ‘cause I haven’t had a good cut and color in ages, and I can’t remember the last time I got my buttocks waxed and buffed, (never). I’m certain my ‘membership card’ will be revoked because I’ve gotten so un-gay. So, I read this book, because even though it’s a satire, I hoped to find nuggets of wisdom to encourage me to be a better gay. I found that wisdom in this book, but not in the way I expected to. Make sure you stay with the book to the second half, where it all starts to add up. This is like Paulo Coelho’s ‘The Alchemist’, a simple story until you get smacked in the face by the hand of profoundness. I thoroughly enjoyed it, it was fun and meaningful, a highly recommended must-read for any gay man struggling with what it means to be ‘gay’.

[Marcus Speh · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've ever read Christopher Allen's blog "I must be off", you will expect to laugh out loud while enjoying Allen's beautiful way with language. He has now stepped off a plane to create the ultimate literary anti-closet weapon: the main character in these 'Conversations', Teri, who helps the narrator, Curt, onto and along 'the road to greater gayness', is both a trickster and an elegant guru. As I followed the story, I realized how the initiator and the initiated were both two sides of one character, and how the whirlpool of words unleashed by Allen, hides well-known family skeletons: «Your mama knows. Mamas always know.» Along the way, as a bonus, you'll also learn everything there is to know about moisturizer. A fierce farce indeed, and a fine read.

[Sketchbook · Rating 5 out of 5]

A boisterous lampoon, w ironic edgings, of getting along in a dipsy hs-het world dominated by pizza, beer-prosecco, Tommy Hilfiger and buds who call each other dude. The hero, aka Buttercheeks, in search of his identity, is a graduate of a Christian college in the Bible Belt. He and his alter ego evangelize on Judi Dench, heuvos rancheros and pube shaving while pop kultur and gay imaging get shagged. Now in his 40s, he realizes that his only salvation is a good moisturizer. Verily, I say unto you : Light an aroma-therapy candle for him. The comedy is buttercheeky.

[Berit Ellingsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty and heart-warming about the search for self-acceptance

Curt Child is gay but wants to look and act more gay to help him attract a man and make everyone see that he’s gay so he doesn’t have to tell them directly, including his own parents.

To help him be more overtly gay, Curt consults an old friend, S. Teri O’Type. He is a guru of all things (stereotypically) thought of as gay, a gayru. As his gayru, Teri tries to teach Curt how to act, talk and dress more gay, where to go clubbing, what dog breed to choose, which tv-series to like, how to become a Pink Swan, who in Friends is not a gay man deep down (and it’s not the female characters), and much, much more.

All of this is described as dialogue between Curt and Teri and his very gay little dog, Cary Grant. The dialogue is laugh-out-loud funny, satirical, witty and at times surreal, with surprising word plays and associations and leaps of logic, plus some nicely recurring images. It’s a little like watching Alice in Wonderland taking lessons from the Mad Hatter. And it does bring out your inner drag queen:

- “A cute little girlfriend does not a straight boy make.” It seems like a tangent from the dog discussion, but I have to concur. I used to be one, with one, though wasn’t one. Like a one plus-one-is-zero situation, I reckon.

- “Are you absolutely sure?” he wouldn’t stop asking. And when I said that I was very sure, he pouty-smiled at me as if I’d claimed to have an IQ of 230.

- “Of course there is,” Teri shouts from the bedroom. “They’re right on the other side of that wall, behind the sodding Yucca, you goat. Can’t you hear the applause?” “Really? They’re applauding? For me?” I say, examining the walls in vain for an audience.

As Teri exists mostly in Curt’s head, as what he believes a gay man should look and act, Curt doesn’t really manage to become more overtly gay. He even falls for a man Teri describes as a “latent heterosexual” and does not approve of.

But the failed attempt at “gayification” does still lead Curt to accept who he is, without the imagined pop-culture expectations of his sexual orientation and the actually two-dimensional Teri.

This is the heart-warming core of the book and what makes it worth reading, beyond the hilarious dialogue, the surreal episodes, the giggle-inducing satire about various pop culture icons, and the deft play on words. Because as long as there are expectations instead of acceptance, they are wrong, even if they come from one’s own mind instead of from others.

And at the touching end of this book all the readers will know what people really mean when they say “Just bring anyone home with you for Christmas”.

[Cindi · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are no words to describe how much I simply adored this book. Curt is a gay man who looks and acts straight so he goes to his oldest and dearest friend (Teri, a flamboyant gay man) to get lessons in Greater Gayness. Follow along as Teri teaches his friend all there is to know about being and acting gay. You will fall in love with Teri and his gay dog, Cary Grant. You will laugh from the very first few lines until you get to THE END.

This book is simply brilliant. Definitely one of my all-time faves.


Full review can be found at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.


A top pick of books published in 2012 at On Top Down Under Book Reviews:
http://bookreviewsandtherapy.blogspot...

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book because it was chosen as our M/M Bpk of the Month and highly recommended by fellow M/M lovers.
It was wonderfully written and is a really touching story.

But one of the dissadvantages of being young (I was born in August 1990), was that I didn'treally understand a lot of the jokes. I noticed I wasn't laughing when I was meant to be, I was just a bit confused.

I will definitely read more books by the author :)

[A.F. Henley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found myself doing quite a bit of seesawing throughout this novel – not completely sure if I was captivated or confused. You see, the novel is well written. Really well written, in fact. It's been infused with wit and humour and is all but brimming with relativity to the self-doubt and societal pressures of the main character. I would even go so far as to say that it had a touch of Palahniuk-styling, if, of course, Mr. Palahniuk wrote satire-based comedy instead of satire-based horror.

But then… on the other side of all that fantastical-ness… there was Teri. I realise Teri's character flaws are intentional. And I understand why setting up his persona that way was necessary. None of that changes the fact that I still have a serious dislike for him.

Regardless, the book was a good read and it ended well and as I've said a million times, I’m a sucker for a happy ending. I can't wait to see what Mr. Allen brings out next.

[Talya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book.
Bright, funny, sweet, catty, bewildering, fantastic, heart-warming and comic are just some of the words I would use. I would give it a 4 1/2 stars instead of 5 because trying to follow the narrative threw me a bit, but that's my only nitpick. About halfway through, it clears up a bit and makes more sense, and the imaginative nature becomes more evident. Very good read, and if you have a sense of humor, there is no way you'll finish without at least a few giggle fits. Curt was sweet, cuddly and fun, and humorous, and who wouldn't adore the fabulous Teri (O!MG) and Cary Grant, Errrrrr.

[Lori Fischer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It's hilarious and incredibly moving!

[Lindsay Loulee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended by a friend and I have to say I really loved this one! I guess I caught the concept a little earlier than I should have but I think it made me love it more while I was reading it. I so recommend this. ^^

[Jessa Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll do more of a review in a bit, but for now I'll just give one word that sums it all up well. Unique.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this. I'm going to say more about it soon!

[Adriana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I get that it's a satire, but I could not stand Teri and it covered everything in a sheen of annoyance that just made it impossible to enjoy even the admittedly funny things.
The only reason I don't rate it at the lowest possible point is because as much as I despise Teri, the overall message of being yourself and not some random definition or stereotype is a powerful one that I wish had come better packaged.

[Vero · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for the Bingo challenge.

This is a satire.
Knowing that, I was hesistant to pick it up, and I was right. It was just a bit too exaggerated for my taste.
It was funny at times, but didn't really have a storyline, it was more like some scenes between Curt, the world's straightest gay, and Teri, his imaginary mentor for all things gay.
Curt struggles to come out to his friends and family and is frustrated because he feels no one notices that he is gay, because he doesn't match even one stereotype of gay men.
But what Curt wishes for the most is a partner to share his life with.
And this partner he finds: not with trying to be "gayer", but staying like he is, as Ed is like him, a not-stereotypical gay man.
A Dickens-like dream sequence in the end and christmas with Ed and his family later you have a sweet end for Curt's journey to "greater gayness".

[Vero · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a satire.
Knowing that, I was hesistant to pick it up, and I was right. It was just a bit too exaggerated for my taste.
It was funny at times, but didn't really have a storyline, it was more like some scenes between Curt, the world's straightest gay, and Teri, his imaginary mentor for all things gay.
Curt struggles to come out to his friends and family and is frustrated because he feels no one notices that he is gay, because he doesn't match even one stereotype of gay men.
But what Curt wishes for the most is a partner to share his life with.
And this partner he finds: not with trying to be "gayer", but staying like he is, as Ed is like him, a not-stereotypical gay man.
A Dickens-like dream sequence in the end and christmas with Ed and his family later you have a sweet end for Curt's journey to "greater gayness".

[Joey Houston · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very odd and confusing.