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Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir
From intersex activist Pidgeon Pagonis comes a candid and life-affirming true story of identity, lies, family secrets, and the healing power of truth.
Pidgeon Pagonis always felt like their life was a constant attempt to fit in with other girls—a feeling that was only exacerbated when puberty failed to hit. They never understood why…until they uncovered the secret that had haunted their childhood.
Bouncing between their Chicago home and the city’s children’s hospital, Pidgeon weathered a series of traumatic surgeries, fabrications, and misdirections. It wasn’t until college that Pidgeon pieced together the puzzle of their they’d been born intersex but raised as a girl, their life shaped by lies that left them physically and mentally scarred. But for Pidgeon, what began as a shameful and traumatic discovery transforms into a painful yet joyous journey of self-love, truth, and healing.
Pidgeon’s inspiring memoir is for everyone whose body and spirit defy expectations, a fierce challenge to a system hell-bent on enforcing binary definitions. Ultimately, it’s a celebration of the freedom and empowerment that come from learning the truth about who you are—and living it.
Pidgeon Pagonis always felt like their life was a constant attempt to fit in with other girls—a feeling that was only exacerbated when puberty failed to hit. They never understood why…until they uncovered the secret that had haunted their childhood.
Bouncing between their Chicago home and the city’s children’s hospital, Pidgeon weathered a series of traumatic surgeries, fabrications, and misdirections. It wasn’t until college that Pidgeon pieced together the puzzle of their they’d been born intersex but raised as a girl, their life shaped by lies that left them physically and mentally scarred. But for Pidgeon, what began as a shameful and traumatic discovery transforms into a painful yet joyous journey of self-love, truth, and healing.
Pidgeon’s inspiring memoir is for everyone whose body and spirit defy expectations, a fierce challenge to a system hell-bent on enforcing binary definitions. Ultimately, it’s a celebration of the freedom and empowerment that come from learning the truth about who you are—and living it.
216 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 15, 2023
187 people are currently reading
5361 people want to read
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September 1, 2023Unputdownable. The book is so raw. Pidgeon is intersex and surgery from the time she was a baby was meant to be gender-affirming, the gender their parents and the doctors had decided she was meant to be. And lied about it.
Intersex people don't need gender-affirming surgery, they don't need surgery, they are perfect as they are. Pidgeon is an activist for this.
Review to come when I've finished the book. AIS - androgen insensitivy syndrome, where the body makes testosterone as an XY body should, but cannot use it and converts it to oestrogen, resulting in a more or less XX body, emphasis being on the more or less, is interesting. More on this in a review.
Intersex people don't need gender-affirming surgery, they don't need surgery, they are perfect as they are. Pidgeon is an activist for this.
Review to come when I've finished the book. AIS - androgen insensitivy syndrome, where the body makes testosterone as an XY body should, but cannot use it and converts it to oestrogen, resulting in a more or less XX body, emphasis being on the more or less, is interesting. More on this in a review.
August 8, 2023
My chromosomes chose intersex. My doctors chose girl. And I was left to endure the consequences. (loc. 1337*)
Pagonis was told a lot of things about their body as a child—some of which turned out to be true. Others turned out to be warped truths, and still others turned out to be blatant lies. And then there were the things that Pagonis wasn't told.
In Nobody Needs to Know, Pagonis chronicles a journey of surgeries and imposed otherness punctuated by revelations: as a kid just starting school, as a preteen, as a first-year in college. It was that last revelation, which led Pagonis to seek out their medical records, that set them on a route to activism—in particular, a drive to change the system that made Pagonis's body not their own for so long.
I'd learned early on, in the days after the surgery while lying in that hospital bed and during all the checkups that followed, that my body wasn't my own. It didn't belong to me. It belonged to everyone else. It belonged to the people who could "fix" it, to the people who wanted to study it, to the people who would use it. (loc. 945)
I've read enough about what it means to be intersex to understand one very simple thing: the best cosmetic intervention is no cosmetic intervention. There are too many stories of infants having parts cut off or sewn up so that they look more "standard," irrespective of what that might mean for identity or quality of life, and ignoring the fact that these infants will eventually grow up to be children and then adults with opinions and feelings about their own bodies. This is just one of those stories, and as far as I know such surgeries are still the norm rather than the exception. But Pagonis highlights some other devastating experiences as well—such as being a kid in hospital expected to strip down and bare all for any set of doctors who wanted to come by and take a look, without being told the truth about why they were in hospital and without an understanding that they could say no.
Two things that I would have really liked to see here: first, though there are some ties to trans activism, I'd love to know where the people fighting against intersex rights (such rights including the right to not have nonconsensual cosmetic surgery) stand on questions of trans rights. Pagonis touches on this a little, in terms of hospital policy, but I suspect that there's a different kind of enormous disconnect in how conservative politicians view the matter.
And second, research. I do not need the hard numbers to be convinced, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see the hard numbers anyway. Late in the book, when Pagonis is talking to doctors who perform these surgeries, the doctors' argument (as Pagonis tells it) boils down to "It makes the parents happy if their kids' genitals look normal!" I desperately wanted a retort of "Here's what the peer-reviewed research says about what those kids say about their own damn genitals when they grow up"—but I don't know what sorts of studies have and haven't been done, so barring that, I'd have liked some discussion about surgeries continuing despite the long-term impacts not having been studied in sufficient detail.
If you don't pick up the book, it's still worth checking out Pagonis's Wikipedia page and reading more about their experience and advocacy work.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Pagonis was told a lot of things about their body as a child—some of which turned out to be true. Others turned out to be warped truths, and still others turned out to be blatant lies. And then there were the things that Pagonis wasn't told.
In Nobody Needs to Know, Pagonis chronicles a journey of surgeries and imposed otherness punctuated by revelations: as a kid just starting school, as a preteen, as a first-year in college. It was that last revelation, which led Pagonis to seek out their medical records, that set them on a route to activism—in particular, a drive to change the system that made Pagonis's body not their own for so long.
I'd learned early on, in the days after the surgery while lying in that hospital bed and during all the checkups that followed, that my body wasn't my own. It didn't belong to me. It belonged to everyone else. It belonged to the people who could "fix" it, to the people who wanted to study it, to the people who would use it. (loc. 945)
I've read enough about what it means to be intersex to understand one very simple thing: the best cosmetic intervention is no cosmetic intervention. There are too many stories of infants having parts cut off or sewn up so that they look more "standard," irrespective of what that might mean for identity or quality of life, and ignoring the fact that these infants will eventually grow up to be children and then adults with opinions and feelings about their own bodies. This is just one of those stories, and as far as I know such surgeries are still the norm rather than the exception. But Pagonis highlights some other devastating experiences as well—such as being a kid in hospital expected to strip down and bare all for any set of doctors who wanted to come by and take a look, without being told the truth about why they were in hospital and without an understanding that they could say no.
Two things that I would have really liked to see here: first, though there are some ties to trans activism, I'd love to know where the people fighting against intersex rights (such rights including the right to not have nonconsensual cosmetic surgery) stand on questions of trans rights. Pagonis touches on this a little, in terms of hospital policy, but I suspect that there's a different kind of enormous disconnect in how conservative politicians view the matter.
And second, research. I do not need the hard numbers to be convinced, but that doesn't mean I don't want to see the hard numbers anyway. Late in the book, when Pagonis is talking to doctors who perform these surgeries, the doctors' argument (as Pagonis tells it) boils down to "It makes the parents happy if their kids' genitals look normal!" I desperately wanted a retort of "Here's what the peer-reviewed research says about what those kids say about their own damn genitals when they grow up"—but I don't know what sorts of studies have and haven't been done, so barring that, I'd have liked some discussion about surgeries continuing despite the long-term impacts not having been studied in sufficient detail.
If you don't pick up the book, it's still worth checking out Pagonis's Wikipedia page and reading more about their experience and advocacy work.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
September 1, 2023
Holy crud - read this. So well written and told. “Non-binary” will never mean the same to you ever again. Just treat people like people. Such labels we inflict upon ourselves and our society. I promise you’ll learn a ton from this reading.
September 6, 2023
ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. Must read for all people, but especially LGBTQIA+ folks. This was so powerful and I will be thinking about this for forever.
September 6, 2023
I couldn’t stop reading this. I’ve followed Pidgeon on social media for years and find their voice so inspiring. But damn they can write just as much as speak! This memoir is so beautifully written, raw with emotion, courage, and a much needed boldness. They have created such a legacy and I’m so proud to live in a city where they have personally made positive changes in. They’re amazing!
February 26, 2024
This memoir by an intersex person reveals some of the frightening invasive surgeries done on babies and children in the name of making them adhere to "normal" standards. The author tells their story bravely and openly through some frankly horrifying experiences, helped by friends and family. I learned a lot.
September 6, 2023
I highly recommend this book to everyone.
June 7, 2025
Brave and beautiful, a must-read memoir that I will bring into my classroom.
March 1, 2024
A fascinating memoir about the struggles of an intersex person, born during a time US hospitals still performed sex change surgeries on infants, without full consent or understanding from the parents, surgeons or the child (obviously).
September 2, 2023
Astounding
An incredible, informative, moving memoir about a subject I knew very little about. The pain and struggle they went through before and after they knew they were intersex and the challenges they have undertaken makes this a humbling read.
An incredible, informative, moving memoir about a subject I knew very little about. The pain and struggle they went through before and after they knew they were intersex and the challenges they have undertaken makes this a humbling read.
November 9, 2023
I know of the truth she tells. I am Intersex. I have had the surgeries and they were mostly unnecessary.
May 6, 2024
A fellow book club member endorsed this story after hearing about it on TV and then having the opportunity to read it herself. I'm so glad I went to the trouble of procuring this book and reading the author's story. I learned A LOT about the intersex community (about which I knew virtually nothing), including the fact that intersex children are more common than identical twins (so you probably know someone who is impacted.) Fascinating read and an accessible one. I'll be thinking about this for a long time.
April 26, 2025
Essential reading on justice and bodily autonomy for intersex people!
July 21, 2023
"Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir" by Pidgeon Pagonis is a candid and powerful true story that explores the journey of self-discovery, identity, and healing for intersex individuals. Pidgeon's memoir delves deep into their life, revealing the challenges, lies, and family secrets they had to confront in order to embrace their true self.
From a young age, Pidgeon felt the pressure to conform to societal norms and fit in with other girls, even though puberty brought about confusing changes that left them feeling alienated. Their search for answers and understanding leads them to uncover a painful and haunting secret that had been hidden from them throughout their childhood.
The narrative takes readers on a journey through the traumatic experiences Pidgeon endured, including surgeries, misdirections, and fabrications, all in an attempt to shape them into someone they were not. Despite facing adversity, Pidgeon's resilience and determination to understand their true identity shine through.
As they enter college, Pidgeon begins to piece together the puzzle of their identity. The revelation that they were born intersex but raised as a girl becomes a transformative moment in their life. The memoir chronicles their painful but ultimately joyous journey of self-love, truth, and healing.
"Nobody Needs to Know" is an inspiring and eye-opening memoir that challenges the binary definitions enforced by society. Pidgeon's story sheds light on the struggles and complexities faced by intersex individuals, offering an essential perspective for readers to understand and empathize with their experiences.
The memoir is not only a celebration of self-discovery and self-acceptance but also a fierce call to action against a system that often overlooks and stigmatizes those who defy conventional norms. Pidgeon's story serves as a powerful testament to the freedom and empowerment that come from embracing one's true identity and living authentically.
Overall, "Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir" is a raw, honest, and thought-provoking account of Pidgeon Pagonis' life. Their willingness to share their experiences and challenges offers a valuable and necessary perspective on intersex identities and the importance of embracing one's true self. This memoir is a must-read for anyone looking to gain insight into the complexities of identity and the healing power of truth.
From a young age, Pidgeon felt the pressure to conform to societal norms and fit in with other girls, even though puberty brought about confusing changes that left them feeling alienated. Their search for answers and understanding leads them to uncover a painful and haunting secret that had been hidden from them throughout their childhood.
The narrative takes readers on a journey through the traumatic experiences Pidgeon endured, including surgeries, misdirections, and fabrications, all in an attempt to shape them into someone they were not. Despite facing adversity, Pidgeon's resilience and determination to understand their true identity shine through.
As they enter college, Pidgeon begins to piece together the puzzle of their identity. The revelation that they were born intersex but raised as a girl becomes a transformative moment in their life. The memoir chronicles their painful but ultimately joyous journey of self-love, truth, and healing.
"Nobody Needs to Know" is an inspiring and eye-opening memoir that challenges the binary definitions enforced by society. Pidgeon's story sheds light on the struggles and complexities faced by intersex individuals, offering an essential perspective for readers to understand and empathize with their experiences.
The memoir is not only a celebration of self-discovery and self-acceptance but also a fierce call to action against a system that often overlooks and stigmatizes those who defy conventional norms. Pidgeon's story serves as a powerful testament to the freedom and empowerment that come from embracing one's true identity and living authentically.
Overall, "Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir" is a raw, honest, and thought-provoking account of Pidgeon Pagonis' life. Their willingness to share their experiences and challenges offers a valuable and necessary perspective on intersex identities and the importance of embracing one's true self. This memoir is a must-read for anyone looking to gain insight into the complexities of identity and the healing power of truth.
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November 7, 2025I feel like your opinion on this book is pretty much determined by how much/little you know about intersex conditions and activism before going in.
If you know very little about it and have only recently learned about the secret childhood surgeries that many intersex people have to go through and their general medical mistreatment, I think this book offers a great perspective on that matter and why so many people grow up not even knowing they are intersex in the first place. Pagonis is very open and passionate about both their personal experience and their advocacy, and we get an unfiltered look into the change and growth one has to go through when one finds out they are not like the people around them.
It's also nice to learn that Pagonis immediately find people to support and understand them and don't have to go through that process alone - it shows how much power information truly holds. Knowledge and access to it are so important. In that aspect, it's a good memoir and certainly serves its purpose in giving you an ultimately positive reading experience.
If you have, however, read 11 intersex books within the last year and this is not your first nonfiction title, either, then this book is not as revolutionary. I don't want to downplay Pagonis' personal life, and I very much appreciated how in detail they went into in regards to their activism and how much work goes into that. It offers an intersectional approach in terms of gender and race discussion when it comes to intersex treatments, which I also appreciated. But I can't deny that the writing and structure of the novel don't do much for me - the focus is very much on the content and not on the delivery.
As it stands, it is perfectly fine but not doesn't stand out.
If you know very little about it and have only recently learned about the secret childhood surgeries that many intersex people have to go through and their general medical mistreatment, I think this book offers a great perspective on that matter and why so many people grow up not even knowing they are intersex in the first place. Pagonis is very open and passionate about both their personal experience and their advocacy, and we get an unfiltered look into the change and growth one has to go through when one finds out they are not like the people around them.
It's also nice to learn that Pagonis immediately find people to support and understand them and don't have to go through that process alone - it shows how much power information truly holds. Knowledge and access to it are so important. In that aspect, it's a good memoir and certainly serves its purpose in giving you an ultimately positive reading experience.
If you have, however, read 11 intersex books within the last year and this is not your first nonfiction title, either, then this book is not as revolutionary. I don't want to downplay Pagonis' personal life, and I very much appreciated how in detail they went into in regards to their activism and how much work goes into that. It offers an intersectional approach in terms of gender and race discussion when it comes to intersex treatments, which I also appreciated. But I can't deny that the writing and structure of the novel don't do much for me - the focus is very much on the content and not on the delivery.
As it stands, it is perfectly fine but not doesn't stand out.
August 29, 2023
I've consumed some media about intersexuality but still had no idea about half of the stuff discussed in this memoir, let's talk about it!
The first half of this book feels like a very intimate chat with Pagonis as we learn about their childhood and coming of age, as well as their relationship with their body and what it's informed by. Through a collection of personal musings, memories and carefully picked out situation, we slowly make our way towards the second half of the book - which welcomes us with a really huge tidal-wave-size tonal change.
We switch from the personal to the activism, but it's very clear from the page that these two parts of Pagonis' life exist at an intersection. In terms of narrative, it felt jarring to me and considering the length of the book, I feel like it could have been developed a little more. I understand the readers who seem to be asking either for more personal or more informative (depending on the reader, of course). It dances the line between for a large part of the text and I honestly can't make up my mind on whether that's good or not.
From the enjoyment perspective, I wasn't thrilled with the tonal change, but from the learning perspective, I really appreciate everything that Pagonis taught me about intersexuality and the ongoing fight that intersex people have to fight (oftentimes alone).
Regardless of any reservations I may have with some of the choices, I still think this book is important, well-written and widely accessible. Everybody would benefit from picking it up, to be honest.
The first half of this book feels like a very intimate chat with Pagonis as we learn about their childhood and coming of age, as well as their relationship with their body and what it's informed by. Through a collection of personal musings, memories and carefully picked out situation, we slowly make our way towards the second half of the book - which welcomes us with a really huge tidal-wave-size tonal change.
We switch from the personal to the activism, but it's very clear from the page that these two parts of Pagonis' life exist at an intersection. In terms of narrative, it felt jarring to me and considering the length of the book, I feel like it could have been developed a little more. I understand the readers who seem to be asking either for more personal or more informative (depending on the reader, of course). It dances the line between for a large part of the text and I honestly can't make up my mind on whether that's good or not.
From the enjoyment perspective, I wasn't thrilled with the tonal change, but from the learning perspective, I really appreciate everything that Pagonis taught me about intersexuality and the ongoing fight that intersex people have to fight (oftentimes alone).
Regardless of any reservations I may have with some of the choices, I still think this book is important, well-written and widely accessible. Everybody would benefit from picking it up, to be honest.
February 14, 2024
Pagonis’s memoir, while organized chronologically, can be emotionally divided roughly in half. The first half of the memoir, focusing on their life growing up, is reflective. Their depiction of their medical experiences and desires to fit in, and the consequences of both, are heart-breaking and too familiar to anyone who doesn’t “fit” whatever category to which they may wish to belong. The narrative shift to the second half is Pagonis learning that they are intersex. From this point on, the memoir brims with passion regarding activism and ending the trauma they and other intersex individuals experience.
The writing is very fast paced, but not confusing to follow. Not knowing much about intersex individuals and their unique challenges, I found this book informative and engaging. My only real criticism is that I wish there was more at the end about ongoing activism outside of just the one hospital – but I recognize how much of a fight it was with Lurie, both personally and professionally, and it does make a nice bookend of the narrative.
I also appreciated the list of resources and supporting organizations included with the book for those who need them.
The writing is very fast paced, but not confusing to follow. Not knowing much about intersex individuals and their unique challenges, I found this book informative and engaging. My only real criticism is that I wish there was more at the end about ongoing activism outside of just the one hospital – but I recognize how much of a fight it was with Lurie, both personally and professionally, and it does make a nice bookend of the narrative.
I also appreciated the list of resources and supporting organizations included with the book for those who need them.
May 19, 2023
I received a copy of this memoir from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I really liked this memoir - Pidgeon has a clear voice that shows their personality through all aspects of the story. I loved learning about Pidgeon's triumphs and obstacles throughout this journey. I would definitely recommend this book to others.
I really liked this memoir - Pidgeon has a clear voice that shows their personality through all aspects of the story. I loved learning about Pidgeon's triumphs and obstacles throughout this journey. I would definitely recommend this book to others.
September 1, 2023
A Powerful Revelation: "Nobody Needs to Know: A Memoir" by Pidgeon Pagonis
Pidgeon Pagonis' memoir, "Nobody Needs to Know," is nothing short of a revelation. With an unwavering voice and an unapologetic honesty, Pagonis takes readers on a journey through their life as an intersex individual, shedding light on a topic that remains shrouded in misconceptions and prejudice. This five-star book is a compelling and enlightening read that has the potential to change the way we view the medical treatment of intersex children.
One of the most remarkable aspects of this memoir is its educational value. Pagonis deftly navigates the complexities of intersexuality, offering readers a comprehensive understanding of what it means to be intersex and the myriad challenges faced by those who fall under this umbrella term. Their narrative is not only informative but also profoundly humanizing, allowing readers to empathize with the struggles and triumphs of intersex individuals.
The book's strength lies in its ability to highlight the stark contrast between how society and the medical field treat intersex children compared to other marginalized groups. Pagonis courageously exposes the normalized and harmful practices that have been inflicted upon intersex children for decades. It's astonishing how these treatments have been perpetuated without the same level of scrutiny or outrage that is often directed towards similar interventions on transgender youth. Through Pagonis' storytelling, readers are prompted to question the ethical implications of these medical procedures and advocate for change.
Pagonis' writing style is accessible and engaging, making it easy for readers of all backgrounds to delve into this complex topic. Their personal anecdotes are both heartwarming and heart-wrenching, offering a glimpse into the struggles and triumphs of their journey towards self-acceptance and understanding.
I must extend my gratitude to Goodreads Giveaways for providing the opportunity to read this book in advance. "Nobody Needs to Know" is a testament to the power of memoirs in bringing crucial issues to light and fostering empathy and change. Pidgeon Pagonis is a brave soul, and their willingness to share their story is commendable. This memoir is a must-read for anyone seeking to broaden their horizons, challenge societal norms, and stand in solidarity with those whose voices deserve to be heard. Kudos to Pidgeon Pagonis for this remarkable work that will undoubtedly leave a lasting impact on its readers.
Pidgeon Pagonis' memoir, "Nobody Needs to Know," is nothing short of a revelation. With an unwavering voice and an unapologetic honesty, Pagonis takes readers on a journey through their life as an intersex individual, shedding light on a topic that remains shrouded in misconceptions and prejudice. This five-star book is a compelling and enlightening read that has the potential to change the way we view the medical treatment of intersex children.
One of the most remarkable aspects of this memoir is its educational value. Pagonis deftly navigates the complexities of intersexuality, offering readers a comprehensive understanding of what it means to be intersex and the myriad challenges faced by those who fall under this umbrella term. Their narrative is not only informative but also profoundly humanizing, allowing readers to empathize with the struggles and triumphs of intersex individuals.
The book's strength lies in its ability to highlight the stark contrast between how society and the medical field treat intersex children compared to other marginalized groups. Pagonis courageously exposes the normalized and harmful practices that have been inflicted upon intersex children for decades. It's astonishing how these treatments have been perpetuated without the same level of scrutiny or outrage that is often directed towards similar interventions on transgender youth. Through Pagonis' storytelling, readers are prompted to question the ethical implications of these medical procedures and advocate for change.
Pagonis' writing style is accessible and engaging, making it easy for readers of all backgrounds to delve into this complex topic. Their personal anecdotes are both heartwarming and heart-wrenching, offering a glimpse into the struggles and triumphs of their journey towards self-acceptance and understanding.
I must extend my gratitude to Goodreads Giveaways for providing the opportunity to read this book in advance. "Nobody Needs to Know" is a testament to the power of memoirs in bringing crucial issues to light and fostering empathy and change. Pidgeon Pagonis is a brave soul, and their willingness to share their story is commendable. This memoir is a must-read for anyone seeking to broaden their horizons, challenge societal norms, and stand in solidarity with those whose voices deserve to be heard. Kudos to Pidgeon Pagonis for this remarkable work that will undoubtedly leave a lasting impact on its readers.
April 11, 2024
This was an incredibly informative and powerful memoir about Pagonis' life and experiences as an intersex person. I appreciated their vulnerability in sharing the deeply personal aspects of their journey and the breadth of information provided about intersex experiences. The book was divided into three chronological parts: details and vignettes from their childhood, experiences in early adulthood and burgeoning activism, and their main advocacy work. The split between the more narrative sections and the details of their activism felt jarring at times, but I did appreciate the inclusion of both. I look forward to investigating the resources at the back of this book to learn more.
December 13, 2023
I’d been looking for this book at the library FOREVER, and it was definitely worth the wait. Pidgeon’s story was equal parts educational, emotionally vulnerable, and inspiring. I especially loved the first chapters, which were more focused on childhood vignettes that encompassed an era of their life. The second half of the book is about Pidgeon’s intersex activism and moves very quickly (while also including a lot of what feels like random details about time, day, or names), and I enjoyed reading it, but I missed the storytelling feel of the first part.
September 3, 2023
I've followed Pidgeon's work/art/activism for years and was so excited to see this book was coming out and immediately pre-ordered it! I am LGBTQIA+ community educator and I have been recommending it to every group I speak to. As someone who also uses a lot of personal storytelling in their work about their own queer experiences, and who has done so for the past 10 years (really starting when I was a teenager), I have also been very moved to hear them talk about how this book is the last piece of themselves they are going to be giving away, at least for a while, as they'd like to be able to keep things for themself as they move forward to new portion of their healing - that's something I have been reflecting on a lot lately too.
November 4, 2023
Wow. A truly honest and unguarded memoir; the first (that I am aware) of an intersex person. From believing they had childhood cancer resulting in their ovaries being removed to obtaining their medical records and learning that everyone had lied to them (repeatedly) to advocacy and ultimately ending such surgeries at the very hospital (Laurie’s Children’s) that mutilated them, this was one heck of a read.
I had the pleasure of hearing Pidgeon speak at a Block Club event and was struck by their warmth and joviality for this world that said they didn’t belong at birth.
I had the pleasure of hearing Pidgeon speak at a Block Club event and was struck by their warmth and joviality for this world that said they didn’t belong at birth.
July 2, 2024
I learned so much from this memoir. Pidgeon’s childhood was hard to hear about, but it’s so important to understand their story of being intersex. I’ve wanted to learn more about the intersex community and this book is a great start. I liked the Superknova explanation in the epilogue to finish the memoir in a hopeful way. Our society has a long way to go, but Pidgeon has made a huge difference already. Highly recommend.
March 2, 2024
Really great book, very important when intersex people make up 2% of our population! I am very grateful to Pidgeon for sharing their story and helping to educate me and others about the dangers medical professionals can pose to intersex children. I hope that soon the world will be able to accept everyone, just as they are.
July 7, 2025
Should be required reading. A clear, thoughtful, crisp, core story about what it can mean to be born intersex. I can't imagine someone reading this and being able to deny the intersex and/or non-binary identity. This is a beautiful example of "nature has no edges, only spectrums."
November 18, 2025
For anyone who believes there are only two genders, this is a must read. The decisions doctors have made for newborns with ambiguous genetalia are nothing less than genital mutilation in infants. Where are all the geneticists that need to teach our legislators that there is a reason for the intersex (option x on a passport) to be included when someone is not clearly male or female. My heart goes out to those who have had to fight these battles. You have a lot of courage, Pidgeon!
January 23, 2024
Really important story. But the writing fell short for me.
June 28, 2024
Everyone should read this.
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