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Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and Bdsm Communities
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Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and Bdsm Communities

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  266 ratings  ·  20 reviews
Whether you're a trembling novice or a jaded expert, there's always something new to be discovered in the endlessly changing, complex and titillating world of kink. While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink *culture* -- the munches, parties, leather ...more
Paperback, 312 pages
Published September 1st 2012 by Greenery Press (first published 2012)
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4.05  · 
Rating details
 ·  266 ratings  ·  20 reviews

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Jan 03, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Anyone interested in getting kinky.
This is the book we need in the post 50 Shades world. The authors, Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams, present their information in a manner that is kind, funny, knowledgable and straight forward. Who should read this? Anyone even a tiny bit interested in engaging with the kink community, or in seeking a kinky experience.

50 Shades of Gray, which I never read but have heard about endlessly, has raised the profile of BDSM in the mainstream. There's been lots of tittilated chortling and the coinin
Nov 13, 2012 rated it it was ok
I was beyond excited to read this book and unfortunately it was a letdown. It is a total beginner book which is not where I'm at.

It is an AMAZINGLY well thought-out and explicit (non-sexually) instruction book on everything to do with BDSM. The organization and breakdown is arranged logically and systematically making reference to certain points and issues easy to find.

I really enjoyed the personal anecdotes that both Lee and Mollena interspersed throughout the book. And the drawings were ador
Oct 28, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Bradford by: Lee Harrington
This is a great introduction to the kink community and to kink in general; not from a "how to safely tie people up" angle, but from a "what is this community all about, why would I even want to know, and how can I get socially involved without damaging myself or others" perspective.

There's a great deal of information in this book that anyone can use, even non-kinksters, including the importance of friends, understanding and negotiating what one wants in a relationship - whether with one's partne
C.K. Combs
Oct 08, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Playing Well With Others is exactly the book I wish I’d had about four years ago when I started getting serious about exploring my interest in kink and BDSM. This humorous and thorough introduction to kink, BDSM and Leather communities and activities, is very accessible for beginners. But it’s not just a beginner book, even for experienced players, Playing Well With Others can serve as a valuable guide to those who want to reflect on their practices and dig more deeply, especially in improving t ...more
Dec 12, 2012 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: any kinky noobs
Recommended to Cecelia by: Lee Harrington
I liked the book. I have been involved in the kinky community for a few years now & interested in the BDSM lifestyle for many years more than that. I wish this book had been out when I first started out in my sexual explorations. This is the book I would recommend to noobs and those interested in exploring any of their BDSM fantasies & the community as a whole.
There is etiquette advice, for both play & exploring the host of events open to kinksters, as well as "what to expects" for t
Aug 08, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2017, sex-sexuality
Great intro to kink. Let's all practice sex positivity.
Nov 19, 2018 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: awkward people, wary people, cynical people with a shared interest
The most insightful and useful parts of this book, I found, weren't the "field guide" parts to the trends and perils of a particular social scene (though I'm sure they'd be more handy for someone more extroverted and poly and exhibitionist!), but the advice on personal and interpersonal attitudes and mindsets to consider and internalize -- self-acceptance, personal integrity, navigating a social world where other people will inevitably make you uncomfortable or pressure you, and keeping your own ...more
"Science is nothing, but trained and organized common sense." - Thomas Huxley
This is a common-sense guide to dipping one's toes into BDSM & the kink community, which also packs in a lot of good advice for relating to other humans in everyday life - friends, partners, lovers, co-workers, etc.
Consider it as a primer or a reference book and take from it what you need.
Daniel Brown
Jan 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
An Excellent and generally Well Rounded Introduction

Covers all the basics, spends a good deal of time discussing a huge variety of possible event's. Has a subtle but strong American style focus.
Jay-René Kouassiaman
It was cool.
Jan 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very informative

Lee is well respected in our community and as a Dungeon Master at a club, I got a lot from this book!
Nov 15, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: bdsm
After being very impressed with Lee Harrington's and Molina William's essays in the Ultimate Guide to Kink, I picked up a digital copy of Playing Well with Others upon release. I found it a bit disappointing. I often approach books from the leaders of the BDSM community searching for inspiration. I found that in abundance in The Ultimate Guide to Kink, but not in this book. However, this is a book designed to assist those who are new to the world of BDSM, swinging and kink to assist in navigatin ...more
Apr 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction, 2013, kink
I wish that I'd had this book years ago. An excellent introduction/primer to the kink/leather/bdsm scenes. Most of the first 2/3 I was a bit bored, tbh; very well written, but information I already knew. Still, I really appreciated the tools and discussion questions provided throughout, and really loved how obviously the authors made a conscious effort to be accessible to as many people as possible. I think this would be valuable to anyone on the scene, new or old, because it feels modern and fr ...more
Nov 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bdsm
This is the book I wish I had before I went to my first play party, before I went to my first kink con, before I went to my first munch. I'm exceptionally glad to see Mollena's name on the cover of a book; this is, I believe, her first book. (Her co-author, Lee Harrington, has his name on the front of at least a couple). I hope Mo and Lee keep writing; I'll certainly keep reading.
Tori Danielle
Sep 12, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: favorites, my-ebooks
As someone who is fairly new to the lifestyle, this book was a gold mine! It answered many of the questions I had about things I'd read & encountered before. I love that it covered such a wide range of topics. It was a great read & I hope to read more from these authors in the future!
Kathy L
Feb 25, 2014 rated it really liked it
This is a very informative book that gave you scenarios and how to deal with them. The antidotes were insightful and funny. It was a little long but the author made sure they covered all the bases with this one. I would recommend this one if you want to know more and didn't know where to start.
Jun 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Wonderful! As a beginner to the link and BDSM scene, this book gave me some great insights into what to expect at my first play party. The authors use inclusive language and ideas throughout, so I definitely felt like I had a place in what they were tabling about.
Liz DeMarco
Mar 04, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Loved this book! As a novice to the world it gave me valuable information I hope to put to use soon!
Jan 12, 2015 rated it liked it
Provided some valuable insight but I was expecting a bit more. A good introduction into how and where to play with others, and some good suggestions about where to find events and connections.
Maria Carrington
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Lee Harrington is an internationally known sexuality, relationships, and personal authenticity educator. Having taught in all 50 states and across 6 countries, he brings a combination of playful engagement and thoughtful academic dialogue to a broad audience. An award-winning author and editor on human gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his books include “Traversing Gender: Understanding Trans ...more
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