Never Good Enough, Freeing Yourself From the Chains of Perfectionism

by Monica Ramirez Basco

Psychology/Self Help

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Health

273 pages, Paperback

First published December 15, 1999

About the author

Monica Ramirez Basco is an internationally recognized expert in cognitive-behavioral therapy, a clinical psychologist, and a founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She is on the Psychology faculty at the University of Texas at Arlington, with a secondary appointment in Psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas. Her books include the bestsellers Never Good Enough and The Bipolar Workbook.

Reviews

[Gavin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like many self-help books, Never Good Enough is about three times longer than it needs to be, but it does a decent job describing perfectionism and suggesting ways to improve it. The author prominently uses the experiences of a few composite perfectionist characters, which some readers may like but which I did not find very insightful. Overall, it's a fine book if you know little about perfectionism, but you can save yourself some time and get just as much from online articles. I particularly like the reading "Coping with Perfectionism" by Ed Beckham and Cecilia Beckham.

[Roxanne Bedard-Saucier · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5*

While the book has interesting ideas and did help me, I would have preferred if there were more examples about perfectionism in school (those in the book are more about family and work).

[Gretchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
The exercises throughout the book were helpful.

[Lauren Z · Rating 2 out of 5]

I personally am a perfectionist. This book helped me realize in what areas of life it affected me. It got to be very long and tedious to read after awhile though. I don't know if it really changed me much but I am more aware of when my perfectionist hurts me or my relationships with others.

[Clanza · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this — I really loved it. This book came at the recommendation of a friend, and I devoured it. I’ve suffered from perfectionism for my whole life, and this is the only thing I’ve ever looked at in which so many chapters spoke directly to me. Some parts were so telling it was hard to admit, but I felt seen and validated and understood in a way in which I wasn’t expecting. In fact, I ordered my own copy to re-read and to highlight and hopefully to pass on. The chapters at the end were great, too— it allowed me to see how others might perceive me, and gave me a tool to use to give to those I care about to help see me in a different way and explain why I am who I am. I actually saw myself so many times in the examples given. This book really might be a life changer for me; at least, I hope it is.

[Meredith Mentzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did enjoy this book, as the exercises were helpful. That being said, I wish perfectionism was addressed in various areas of life, like school and friendships, instead of just family and work. Although, that’s not to say that those areas aren’t important to be addressed, I personally, didn’t connect with them, as I would’ve though the topic of school, for example.

This book was simple, as someone new to the realization of perfectionism, I found it informative. However, the book is basic, and if you’re searching for a more in-depth and deeper understanding of perfectionism, then other books or online sources might be a better fit.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book. Especially in the first half, I felt like I was reading myself on every page. Took lots of notes.

One thing it missed that I wish it had addressed was working with perfectionist/critical bosses. It talks about other relationship dynamics but not boss/employee. As a perfectionist myself I’ve had more than one outwardly perfectionist boss/superior and that dynamic can be extremely challenging to navigate (in fact that’s how I originally identified that I am in fact a perfectionist—I discovered myself getting so defensive when he would criticize my work, and that felt constant!).

In any case, this book is worthwhile for people working through this.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

Étant concernée ça m'a intéressé. C'est bien pour les concerné.es ou du moins celleux qui le pensent pour voir si vous l'êtes vraiment ou pas. Car non il ne suffit pas d'organiser à outrance et d'être un.e maniaque du ménage pour être perfectionniste.
Ça peut aussi être bien pour celleux qui ne pensent pas l'être, car finalement vous n'êtes peut être
Enfin c'est bien pour celleux qui côtoient des perfectionnistes pour mieux comprendre

Il y a des exercices etc. Après ce n'est pas magique, rien ne peut remplacer les avancements faits lors d'une thérapie

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be very helpful BUT fair warning, this book is not enough on its own if you’re not ready. If you’re not in a place mentally and emotionally where you’re willing to have an open mindset, to look at yourself and your behavior critically with curiosity and ultimately to grow then you will likely get very little out of it or worse, find it extremely frustrating. Like most things in life, only you can do the hard work here.

[Allison Berkowitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was extremely eye opening and helpful for me. I'd been called a perfectionist many times but never identified with it or thought of the term in much depth. The book offered so much insight into the problems and into myself. It helped me ask myself some important questions that I'd never thought to ask before and - I'm hoping - the answers are going to help me make some helpful changes within my mind and emotions.

[Jenn McEvoy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one wasn’t beneficial at all. I’m really trying to work on not being such a people pleaser and I thought this book would give some tips but, I was wrong.

The author is as super repetitive and I felt like she didn’t really talk about how to help with this topic. It was more of a bunch of stories about other people.

Unfortunately, I can’t recommend this one. I felt like I wasted my time on this audiobook.

[Scott Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very great book and I find myself returning to it again and again. High recommend to anyone combatting anxiety and the pressure you put on yourself without letting it harm your relationships. I wish I could lend this book to everyone I know who is a perfectionist, but I can't let go of my copy as I want to do the exercises within it again and again.

[Alex Kempton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some enlightening things. I found it to be a little dull in some ways. It is worth the read, but isn't as engaging as I would have liked it to be. Good for any and all perfectionists and family members of perfectionists. Not and end all be all for help; if you struggle, go see a counselor. But all in all good for continuing help after terminating with a professional.

[Ashley Blankinship · Rating 3 out of 5]

I truly forgot about this book & never finished it. I was sick of seeing it on my “currently reading” but never moving anywhere. It’s been 3 years since I started it so I truly don’t remember a lot. However, the ending bit was quite encouraging. Definitely made me feel like I need to reread it as my perfectionism has creeped in BAD

[Edward JD) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A psychiatrist in my field recommended this book. I wonder if he was trying to tell me something. I was in the middle of writing my first book when I read this book. It's a good supplement to the tools I've gathered through life.

[Brande · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful for understanding the psychology behind perfectionism and the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy methods of dealing with it. Could use a wider range of CBT exercises to truly benefit a wider audiences.

[Cassandraann1 · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book. The anecdotes were too long and unnecessary. She overcomplicated every idea. It was just a rambling mess.

There are much better books about perfectionism, such as Thomas Curran’s The Perfectionism Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough.

[Laurla2]

good book. i took notes, but i can't find them.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

much longer than it needs to be and not very helpful at all for a self-help book lol

[Casi · Rating 1 out of 5]

omg its so repetitive i can't

[Sharon Golding · Rating 2 out of 5]

Boring & not useful at all. Read audiobook & the PDF File wasn't available as it should have been. It seemed like the author repeated herself over & over again.

[Chao Zhao · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great breakdown of the questionnaires of different types of perfectionism.

[Chelsea Pulsipher · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Carrie G · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just couldn't do it... I couldn't finish the book. I honestly can count on my fingers the number of books that I have dropped in my lifetime, but this is one of them... which is a little ironic if you think about it because I am a major perfectionist who always finishes what I start and this book is about perfectionism... but I stopped reading in the middle. Life's funny sometimes.

Don't get me wrong - there were some good parts to this book and some interesting, enlightening information. I just got tired of the back and forth between information on inwardly and outwardly focused perfectionists. When 50% of the book I'm reading doesn't apply to me, I get bored... and annoyed... and unmotivated... and apparently stop reading. I may go back someday and try to finish this book, but I doubt it will be in the near future. There are so many other books out there that grab my attention and hold it; I have a hard time justifying wasting precious reading minutes on a book I'm not intrigued by!

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this mostly because Chuckro was reading it. I think I've come to the conclusion that my perfectionism is broader but less deep than he is--I show more of the various symptoms but it causes less trouble in general in my life.

I feel like the author spends an awful lot of time demonstrating the positive aspects as well as negative. I guess that's good for keeping people from beating themselves up too much. But I feel like most perfectionists are pretty well convinced on the advantages already--it's the disadvantages you have to sell them on.

I think this is potentially more helpful to people with stronger manifestations than I have. There are also some tips for living with perfectionists which I found mostly useless. I can see how it might be useful for someone who isn't a perfectionist and doesn't get what's going on in their partner's head. But I understand the cycles he goes through, I just don't know how to defuse them.

So a lot of this ended up feeling like info I already knew. Which is perhaps not the author's fault, but made it somewhat less useful.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked a lot of the ideas and concepts in this book. Very helpful. Overall, I thought it was just too long to really be able to apply it all. I like things simple, so about half-way through, I just started reading the text boxes that she has on every other page or so with the summary of the section, and other useful ideas.

[Don't Stop Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

Repetitive yet useful

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book for all the Martha's of the world to know how to find balance.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly engaging for a self-help book, heavy emphasis on concrete examples. Does a good job of making perfectionism into a positive quality (at least some of the time).

[Sandy Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, practical guidance.