Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them

by Ronald M. Shapiro, Mark A. Jankowski, James Dale

The impossible people who make life’s journey so difficult are everywhere—at the office, in restaurants, on airplanes, living next door, members of your own family. They’re . . .

• your “nothing is ever good enough” boss

• the “no price is ever low enough” client

• the next-door neighbor who redefines the meaning of paranoia

• the maître d’ who looks through you as if you don’t exist

• the father-in-law who you know is always thinking about how much better a life his Janey or Joey would have if only married to someone other than you

Ron Shapiro and Mark Jankowski give you a simple and highly effective 4-point plan for dealing with all of them and more—N.I.C.E. Their system shows you how to neutralize your emotions so you don’t just react but act purposefully and wisely. It enables you to identify the type of bully, tyrant, or impossible person you’re facing—the situationally difficult (something has happened that turns an otherwise reasonable person into a temporary terror); the strategically difficult (she has empirical evidence that being difficult is a strategy that gets results); or simply difficult (being difficult is his 24/7 M.O.). Then you’ll learn how to shape the outcome by controlling the encounter and, finally, how to get “unstuck” by exploring your options.

Using colorful stories from all walks of life— “He called me the scum of the earth and it went downhill from there,” “First, lock all your vendors in a small room,” and “The boss from hell”—the authors bring their lessons to life, from business life to family life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Business, Self Help

276 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2005

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for my Leadership Development Program. There are a few nuggets of useful information, a lot of common sense, but not much else.

Skip this one, folks. Unless you like inane stories about sports agents- in which case it might be just right.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read about half of this book, and got the general gist of it, which was very interesting, but I stopped because the subject matter was totally geared toward business situations, and I was more interested in difficult people I might have to deal with outside of business. I'd recommend it, though.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not terrible but not sure it's a beneficial read for the average person. It was much like reading a book on chess strategy. Slightly interesting if you're into that sort of thing, but not actually useful unless you are willing to practice their techniques until you've mastered them. At which point you will be able to use them at will and chage the tactics to match your needs. It's just that the average person doesn't come into many situations where you could practice these techniques.

I would not recommend this book to the average person. Maybe business majors or people who struggle to work with the public could get a use from it

[Jason Mesiarik]

Practical advice on effectively managing people and predicaments.

[Aliya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a good book to read, because all of us encounter difficult people in our everyday lives. The book is applicable across cultures and situations. Many of the professional experiences described here are very true for purchasing, house-renting and other non-professional negotiations.

This book is worth reading for chapter 12 alone (counter-tactics for 20 tactics of strategically difficult people).

The book teaches methodical assertiveness in the face of difficult individuals, where we risk being subverted. It also teaches how to negotiate powerfully but subtly, gaining and retaining respect for oneself, even in explosive situations.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great material and presented in an easy-to-read, story format.

[Tim Burrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good systems for repeating success, real life stories