Grailblazers

by Tom Holt

Fifteen hundred years have passed and the Holy Grail is still missing, presumed ineffable. The knights have dumped the quest and now deliver pizzas, while the sinister financial services of the lost kingdom of Atlantis threatens the universe with fiscal Armageddon.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Comedy, Arthurian, Ebooks, Science Fiction Fantasy

368 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.

Reviews

[Juho Pohjalainen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story's a bit hard to follow and never quite grabbed me, with its fair share of holes and weird bits and missed potential - but there are also some good laughs that often saved it from obscurity. Can be worth it if you've read all of Pratchett and are looking for more.

[Glen Engel-Cox · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m glad I didn’t give up on Holt. Although this isn’t his best (I’d probably pick Goatsong for that distinction, with Expecting Someone Taller close by), it’s a far cry better than the mixed-up hodge-podge that marked Here Comes the Sun and Overtime. Holt’s back to formula here, and maybe that’s why it works; in this one, a knight from the Arthurian Age is awakened to take charge of the order of the Knights of the Holy Grail. First, he’s got to get the rest of the order interested in the quest again, because they have gotten tired of it and become pizza delivery drivers and would-be West End actors.

Holt also plays with largely literary characters here a la Kim Newman or Howard Waldrop. His revisionist history of the jolly old man in the red suit is a special lark, as is his take on Lyonnesse. Well-read fantasy readers (and by that I mean the classics, not the modern stuff) will probably get a lot more out of Holt’s allusion play in this regard than I did. In fact, I felt like I was rereading John Myers Myers’ Silverlock at times because of that distressing feeling that I should know this character, and yet couldn’t place it.

Unfortunately, Holt’s still jumping all over the place in telling the story. Multiple points of view and quick cuts, as I described for his last two books, take a toll on the reader here as well. As I said before, pyrotechnics are fine when one is sure that they aren’t standing in the middle of the firing field. Er, that is to say, it takes a stable base to get away with double-back somersaults.

[K. · Rating 2 out of 5]

1500 years ago, a knight is put into a magical sleep. He awakes in the present, and is charged with finding the Holy Grail. His fellow grail hunting knights apparently couldn't die, because they'd never completed their quest. But they've given up grail hunting in favour of delivering pizzas and being accountants and what have you. The return of their long lost companion sees them grail hunting once again.

Look, it had its funny moments. But for the most part, it felt to me like a mash-up of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Terry Pratchett's Hogfather, and Terry Pratchett's The Last Continent. It was enjoyable enough, but it consistently felt like something I'd read before.

[Rafal Jasinski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boamund - nieznany szerzej Rycerz Okrągłego Stołu - budzi się po piętnastu wiekach, by odkryć, że jego druhowie zdegenerowali się. Dożywszy naszych czasów, rycerze zajmują się sprzedawaniem ubezpieczeń i dostarczaniem pizzy, podróżują zdezelowaną furgonetką a Święty Graal pozostaje zaginiony. Okazuje się, że niezbyt rozgarnięty, ale przesiąknięty ideałami Boamund jest ostatnim prawdziwym rycerzem. Z trudem namawia swoich towarzyszy - i sarkastycznego krasnoluda o imieniu Toenail - na ostatnią epicką wyprawę, w trakcie której odwiedzają miejsca zwyczajne (przydrożny bar, w którym wdają się w knajpianą awanturę) i tak fantastyczne, jak Atlantyda i władany przez wyjątkowo wrednego Świętego Mikołaja Biegun Północny.

Tom Holt nie jest tak popularny (w Polsce) jak Pratchett, ale to równie płodny angielski humorysta, który bawi się podobnymi motywami, co Sir Terry w swoich książkach. Bierze na warsztat legendy, mity i klasyczne elementy fantasy oraz fantastyki w ogóle i na bazie tego buduje swoją komedię. Bywa znacznie bardziej wulgarny, czy nawet przaśny, ale równie pomysłowy w adaptacji popkulturowych motywów, krytyce nonsensów rzeczywistości oraz sarkazmie i punktowaniu ludzkich przywar i słabostek. W jego literaturze więcej jest komedii sytuacyjnej i slapsticku.

"Grailblazers" zadowoli wszystkich miłośników fantastyki a wśród nich tych, którzy uwielbiają brytyjski humor, którego nieodłącznym elementem jest absurdalna satyra i abstrakcyjna komedia, czyli dowcip spod szyldu grupy Monty Pythona. Polecam!

P.S. Wielka szkoda, że wydawnictwo Prószyński i S-ka zarzuciło wydawanie Toma Holta w Polsce po trzech tomach serii "J.W. Wells & Co" ("Przenośne drzwi", "Śniło ci się" oraz "Ziemia, Powietrze, Ogień i Budyń").

[Caleb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm starting to see the pattern to Tom Holt books. I say that, but they're far from formulaic. They're full of silly unexpected combinations of myths and modern life, but after a while it feels familiar. This is not a bad thing, but as a result it's probably better to spread his books out across the queue, not read a bunch in a row.

I grab a Tom Holt book when I want to be entertained, and I grab one that's not part of a series when I don't want to have to remember too complicated of a plot. I'm just about guaranteed to enjoy it, and now that I'm saving up the last few Terry Pratchett books for a very rainy day (because he will not be with us forever, sniff), it's good to have a stopgap.

Needless to say, I enjoyed this one, even though I only picked it up about once every couple weeks. The change in routine and commute didn't help any.

[Riju Ganguly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really, REALLY, should have stuck to Connie Willis.
This...
It was going well. Bunch of gags pinned together becoming a stand-up comedy performance. Then it crashed.
I think I have had enough.

[Nathan Dehoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this one is a clear improvement over the last few Holt books, showing the author honing his style. As usual, it focuses on one element of folklore, in this case the Holy Grail, but mixes in others as well. When Sir Boamund wakes up a 1500-year sleep caused by drugged milk given to him by a dwarf, he finds that several other Arthurian knights are still alive as well, but have been forced into doing menial jobs. They are charged with finding the Grail, but can only do so after finding three other strange items. During the course of the story, we find out that unicorns have been driven to Australia (and they're quite foul-mouthed), Atlantis is an offshore banking organization ruled by a woman who was cursed after making Jesus and the Apostles clean up after the Last Supper, and Santa Claus is also laboring under a curse due to being the seldom-heard-of FOURTH magus to visit the baby Jesus and giving him a crappy gift because he didn't plan ahead. I've seen several stories that examined the dark side of the Santa myth, but this is definitely one of the most bizarre while still making a kind of sense. Yeah, Jesus is kind of a jerk in this one, but Holt's opinions on supernatural beings vary somewhat from one book to the next. Several other historical and legendary figures appear as well, including Simon Magus, the mastermind behind the quest. Also, there are people from the future who live backwards due to a time-travel experiment gone awry.

[Jayaprakash Satyamurthy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Terribly silly, like all of his books. They don't all work for me, but this one did. I've been a bit depressed and I needed something terribly silly. It's remarkable how much time Holt must spend thinking up incredibly complicated plots in the service of such utter silliness. Harmless way to while away the hours though, and it does seem to help him earn a living.

[Johan D'Haenen · Rating 3 out of 5]

We gaan nog maar eens op zoek naar de Heilige Graal, om wat voor reden dan ook.
Tom Holt maakt er als naar gewoonte een gezellige bedoening van, maar echt hilarisch wordt het toch niet, hoe absurd alles in deze queeste ook mag zijn.
Het had korter gekund want echt boeiend is het niet.
Als je niets anders voor handen hebt, zorgt het boek voor wat leuk tijdverdrijf en ik kan me inbeelden dat sommigen hier zeker hun gading in zullen vinden, maar ik hou dan toch veel liever bij The Holy Grail van Monty Python.

[Elaine Abrol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cleverly written and enjoyable (I think) however I found it had too many threads running through the story which became convoluted and hard to follow. If you have a great memory you'll love it!

[Mrs S E White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny as always

[Olly Colluphid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much more like I recall these books being like. Very entertaining and silly. Plot pretty incoherent, but good enough to keep you reading.

[Bart]

todo

[Mike Rymarz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off well but faded. Would be interested in reading others by Tom Holt though

[Simon Mcleish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally published on my blog here in May 1999.

By the time he wrote Grailblazers, Tom Holt's style was well established. Indeed, nearly all of his novels since Expecting Someone Taller have followed its successful format: a comic re-evaluation of themes and characters from a well known medieval legend set in the twentieth century, comedy being provided by the attempts of the characters to fit into a culture alien to them (and allowing Holt to satirise the more ridiculous aspects of the modern world). This makes all these novels a little too similar to each other, as is also the case with Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, but you can certainly say that if a reader enjoys one they will enjoy them all: the standard is much more even than the Discworld novels.

In the case of Grailblazers, the medieval myth is that of the quest for the Holy Grail. In the fifteen hundred years since the quest of the Order of the Grail began, those knights who remain have become resigned to their lack of success, and are holding down normal twentieth century jobs (insurance salesman, pizza deliverer and so on). The major skills of the medieval knight have got rather out of date: who needs chivalry today? Then, when their leader retires to set up an estate agency, a new broom is appointed by Merlin to take over.

Boamund is an anachronism. He drank drugged milk, and has spent the last fifteen hundred years asleep in a cave (where his armour rusted so solid that he had to be released from it with an oxyacetylene torch). He immediately brings new enthusiasm to the knights' quest, to their dismay (especially as they all remember him as a priggish prefect at the school of chivalry).

[Tom Loock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ratings ranked A-Z:
Absolutely delightful. ***** - me
Amazing. ***** - Tom Loock
Among Holt's very best novels - if not his best! ***** - MaskedMarauder (my nom de guerre)
Astounding how one writer can be so very funny. ***** - anyone with a sense of humour
(...)
Ze best!! ***** - a friend who also read this one

I was lucky enough to have Rog Peyton recommend Tom Holt's novels when those were first published, and over the years I've read 16 of them. In recent years though, I was fairly disappointed by "Barking", "The Better Mousetrap" and "May Contain Traces of Magic" and so - gasp! - I stopped reading Tom Holt.

When I was given Grailblazers, I was a bit reluctant and decided to read just the first couple pages ...

Eighty pages and one missed appointment later I know I've hit the comic jackpot = (see ratings above)

The story is simple: The Knights (of the Round Table, among them Snotty, Bedders and Turkey) go in search of the Grail, or rather items that will lead them to that mythical object of desire.

During their quests we meet 'entities' like the dwarf Toenail, a foul-mouthed Aussie unicorn, Graf Klaus von Weihnacht' (oh the joys of being bilingual), Isocrates Minor and several other school children from Atlantis, the trapped ghost of a famous writer, 'special' time travellers and we learn that Ersatz coffee is Deutschmarks steeped in radiator oil.

It doesn't get any better than this.

[Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Considerably funnier and more enjoyable than "Overtime" (with which it is packaged in the Omnibus version), "Grailblazers" somehow manages to provide an explanation for the Holy Grail, Atlantis, and Santa Clause, all wrapped up in a single package. Occasional cameos from Shakespeare's Ghost and a whole host of dead philosophers - not to mention a country-full of incredibly boring bankers / insurance salesmen - round out the action, which is set in the present day.
The griping, incompetent, but somehow idealistic knights do manage to muddle through (in large part thanks to their trusty dwarf), and do so in a considerably more likable fashion than poor old Blondel.

[Dark-Draco · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is anothr cool, wacky romp through an alternative history. The grail knights have given up and are delivering pizzas, but a new leader is being sent to them - but after thousands of years sleeping in a cave, he first has to get out of his rusted armour!! The quest to find the grail is hampered by the fiscal ambitions of Atlantis and a rather angry Santa Claus... and that's even if they manage to find out what a grail actually is!!

Taren't as good as Pratchett by a long way, but it's amusing and passes the time!! I love the idea of Atlantis being a big bank and the take on Santa is brilliant.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Extremely silly and extremely erudite, it's an odd take on the "Matter of Britain," set mostly in the modern day. I briefly thought of Donald Barthelme's "The King," but that was a good deal more tragic, even if it too was partly a parody. Holt weaves together a very preposterous plot that incorporates the grail quest, Atlantis, Simon Magus, and a terrifying image of Father Christmas based much more on Odin than Saint Nicholas. A fun read, and I'll probably check out more of Holt's stuff, but too long. I thought he could have cut out about half the story and scenes without losing much.

[Lemongrass · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this story. It was the first Tom Holt novel I read, and I read it fairly soon after studying the Grail story at school in depth. Although there is plenty of scurrilous humour, somehow it seems to me that Holt keeps faith with the essentials of the deep and meaningful Grail Knights' quest. Others may disagree, but I found it at once extremely funny and also moving.

(Still true, years later.)

[Tim Schneider · Rating 3 out of 5]

While a step up from the last couple of Holt's novels, this one still isn't Holt hitting on all cylinders. This is a quest novel. And sometimes the quest is the thing. But you still hope for a payoff and there really isn't a payoff at the end. The journey is generally entertaining. And I liked the use of St. Nicholas. But the ending is so weak that it taints what came before and yields mediocrity.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holts books finally became available as Nook ebooks and I snapped this one up. It's entertaining, but not up to the standard of the J.W. Wells series. The concept of knights of the grail continuing their quest in modern times is funny, but they quickly drift off into a total fantasy domain. I think this makes the book less compelling, but I still read and enjoyed it.

[Hank Quense · Rating 4 out of 5]

A typical Tom Holt book: hilarious and off-the-wall. Not for readers who want a straight-forward plot and story. Holt's story takes a number of devilish turns. One of the characters is a count who has been cursed by having to deliver toys to all the kids in the world one night a year.

[Arun Divakar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good read...i suppose it blew out towards the end

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yet another fun Tom Holt read:-) I just loved the general wackiness of the book (typical Tom Holt!) but what I enjoyed most was the part about Atlantis & Santa, great ideas there;-)

[Brett Cottrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, I guess, but doesn't live up to Blonde Bombshell or Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages. Kind of get lost along the way.

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't ever really get into it. Good bubblegum for the mind is probably the best I can say for this one

[Michelle allan · Rating 1 out of 5]

read 100 pages and got fed up. I did not find it funny at all.

[David Cozens · Rating 3 out of 5]

Comedy fantasy about the exploits of knights searching for the Holy Grail, set in modern England.