Bruno Bettelheim 1st edit/1 print A Good Enough Parent A Book on Child-Rearing 1st Edition 1987 [Hardcover] Bettelheim, Bruno [Hardcover] Bettelheim, Bruno

by Bruno Bettelheim

extremely rare,very good condition

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Jewish, Italian Literature, Science

Hardcover

First published January 1, 1987

About the author

Bruno Bettelheim (1903-1990) was an Austrian-born American child psychologist and writer. He gained an international reputation for his views on autism and for his claimed success in treating emotionally disturbed children.

Reviews

[Valentina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un classico della saggistica pedagogica secondo me estremamente importante per chiunque voglia intraprendere il percorso della genitorialità.
Il libro è datato, questo lo si evince facilmene dagli esempi che vengono portati, in particolare per quanto riguarda i giochi e i ruoli genitoriali, ma i concetti espressi rimangono egualmente potenti ed importanti semplicemente adattando le attività alla realtà odierna.

Il mito della perfezione nella genitorialità è un'illusione che da una parte porta il genitore a demoralizzarsi per non essere capace di raggiungere determinati standard e dall'altra a rifiutare ogni consiglio con l'idea che deve essere capace di fare tutto da solo per essere degno di essere chiamato genitore.
La realtà è ben diversa, la perfezione non esiste e non deve neanche essere l'obiettivo a cui mirare. L'unica cosa davvero importante è impegnarsi per essere al meglio ogni giorno, consapevoli che il nostro meglio non sempre è la cosa giusta da fare. Ma va bene così, si impara dagli sbagli, si cerca di rimediare agli errori passati e si va avanti con la consapevolezza di aver imparato qualcosa e che la prossima volta si potrà provare a fare di meglio.

[JaNel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Based on Freud which makes a lot of sense sometimes, and, others, just is a lot of crap. Having said that, I really enjoyed the chapters on play found in Part Two.

Favorite quotes and ideas:

*The sign of successful child-rearing is the child's ability to cope.

*p. 172 "A parent's deep conviction that a child will eventually do well, however long it takes, is the best protection against the need to push him to achieve or to be disappointed when he fails...or to the giving of false praise when it is not truly deserved."

*p. 175 "Creative minds play with ideas as a child plays with toys." ergo: they will not learn this if as a child they never learned to play with toys.

[Jodi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have read several books on parenting in order to do the best I can in raising my children. This book was referenced in a wonderful article I read lately (cannot remember the name of the article thought) and so I picked up this book. It was hard for me to get into because it was more like a psychology text than a parenting handbook. There were a few points though that I picked up about investing our time in our children and remaining calm when things don't go according to plan. The Sleeping Beauty idea about a baby coming into the world with blessings to receive with all the good people have to offer them and bad spirits from the parents' own childhood. It was also interesting to think about how adolescence wasn't a problem 100 years ago because this stage of development didn't even exist - adolescents were already done with school, working full-time, and often already married. I am glad I live today and not 100 years ago! I snickered when I read why Bettelheim believes that children like to play in their mothers' purses or play with water guns - very Freudian! I also liked the Chinese proverb in Chapter 23: "Nobody's family can hang out the sign "Nothing the matter here."" So true!!! Finally, I loved reading about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and how these characters came to be integral in children's lives around the world!

[Franziska Self Fisken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book with lots to inform parents to accept they cannot be perfect. But being good enough is good enough, so just accept that.

[Danna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite parenting books. It isn't a popular one, but it should be! I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 because I don't think it is the most user-friendly parenting book. Parts of it dragged, and overall it was a little too long. Bettelheim's approach and ideas were great though, and that far outshines the flaws in the book.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone needs to read this book regardless of whether you have children or ever plan to have children.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a totally different parenting book from any I've ever read. It has completely changed my whole philosophy on parenting.

[Giorgio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be compulsory reading to get the License to parent.

[Vel Veeter]

This is a 1980s guide to parenting put together by the psychologist Bruno Bettelheim (most famous for his book The Use of Enchantment, about mythology). I don’t think this is his primary research field, but a kind of culmination of lots of research from his work combined with others. The title itself is a reference to the overall idea of the book, but also a group of research this book draws from. The idea here is that there is both no perfect parent, an ideal that is detrimental, nor really an idea parent. There’s some specific recommendations within the text, some of which make a lot of sense, and others that feel a little more of a time, but the the general idea is to be not even the best you can, but good enough to maintain an acceptable range and to keep expectations from working against you.

The main driving force of this idea I would say is empathy and compassion, but also a kind of dynamism. Specifically Bettelheim suggests that parent/child interactions to be driven by the love the parent has for the child and the love the child continues to develop for the parent. Then, the parent should use empathy and compassion to understand what the child is experiencing, what the child knows or doesn’t know, and what the child feels in governing the interactions. The book is also decidedly against rigidness in interactions (as a general rule, not at all times) in order to allow for more variables than a set philosophy can account for.

If all this sounds obvious, I can assure you it wasn’t obvious to my parents, and a lot of peers’ parents in the 1980s when this book came out. I have some serious resentment and frustrations with my childhood partly drawn from my dad’s alcoholism, my mom’s codependency, and both parents’ egos and traditionalism coming into play constantly. So as obvious as it sounds now, I could have used some of that obviousness in my youth. My parents might have been doing their best, but I am not sure that was always “good enough”.

[Davide · Rating 5 out of 5]

Da papà di una bambina di tre di anni, consapevole della mia naturale imperfezione, mi ha immediatamente catturato il titolo del libro, supponendolo quale manuale per formare un genitore “perfetto”. Al contrario, come premesso dall’autore, tutto fa meno che indicare come comportarsi con i propri figli, piuttosto ci invita ad analizzare quelli che sono i nostri comportamenti/atteggiamenti, posti in essere nei confronti di piccole menti che, seppur piccole in grado di catturare significati anche nelle più semplici espressioni, da noi adulti ritenute insignificanti. Testo formativo per i genitori, a loro volta figli in passato incompresi, che incoscientemente rischiano di far ricadere sui propri figli alcuni dei traumi del loro passato.

[nonsistabenechealtrove · Rating 5 out of 5]

Buon saggio, influenzato dagli studi psicanalitici, che tenta di spiegare come non si debba porsi come meta la perfezione se si vuole essere bravi genitori, la perfezione non essendo raggiungibile. Sarebbe necessario, piuttosto, accettare di essere genitori "passabili", prendendo coscienza dei propri difetti e cercando di immedesimarsi costantemente nel punto di vista dei figli per farli sentire amati e permettere loro di costruire su basi solide la propria personalità. Suggestivo. Le ombre sull'Autore non dissipano del tutto la sensazione che si tratti di un saggio tuttora valido sotto molti aspetti.

[Michele Nasti · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll write this in italian since it is an italian book.

Questo libro, seppur scritto in un italiano impegnativo, spiega molti processi cognitivi che avvengono nella testa dei bambini. Aspettavo una seconda figlia e ho deciso di leggerlo per rinfrescare la mia memoria come genitore, devo dire che mi ha aperto un mondo: il gioco, le ricorrenze, i fratellini... insomma io lo consiglio a chiunque voglia fare il genitore in maniera costruttiva. Ripeto: è un testo scritto con un italiano tosto, ma i contenuti sono tosti e non possono essere banalizzati.

[Dario Delfino · Rating 4 out of 5]

A LOT of great insights, examples, and ideas. You can see there is actual knowledge and deep anyalisis and thinking behind his words. This is what a real expert is (and not just writing stuff you heard on youtube). Unfortunately, sometimes it feels a bit slow and long. But still, it's a great reading for parents.

[Debra Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very long book I read years ago. Big take away: whatever you do,
with though and good intent. ... is good enough!

[Val]

lo recomiendan en la convivencia de Fernanda el profesor que da la escuela de padres.
de hecho el dice q debió leerlo antes de ser papá

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

when I tried of reading the book, I skipped to the end where there were some really useful thoughts about Santa, the Easter Bunny and how children repay us or feel guilty for being the recipient all the time. So, while it is not a book I recommend, generally, it did give me a piece of the parenting puzzle which I had not got from other parenting literature.

[Pepe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trovato in un cassonetto per la raccolta differenziata della carta e salvato dal macero assieme ad altri. E' necessario talvolta mettere in discussione il proprio ruolo di genitore, e questo libro non permette indifferenza ma qualche dubbio lo pone.

[Toletole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un libro con ideas interesantes y un amplio tratamiento de los juegos, aunque por su lenguaje, en algunos pasajes excesivamente técnico para mi gusto, se me hizo árido y me llevó mucho tiempo acabarlo.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of my two most cheriched parenting books!

[CAPANNA DURMONT]

Ho registrato un libro su BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/11638136

[Maggie]

Recommended not as a parenting book but because it provides a 'profound understanding of children.' Yet to read.

[Marko]

I have the french version.