What do you think?
Rate this book
The Church of 80% Sincerity
The Church of 80% Sincerity shares the inspiring, poignant, wickedly funny, and sometimes heartbreaking story of motivational speaker David Roche's journey from shame to self-acceptance. Born with a severe facial deformity, David has had a life that's been anything but easy. Still, over time he's learned to accept his gifts as well as his flaws, and to see that, sometimes, they are one and the same. In this compelling book, he shares his hard-earned lessons, providing an irresistible and unforgettable glimpse of his (and everyone's) inner beauty and worth, and offers profound encouragement in dealing with whatever life brings.
140 pages, Paperback
First published February 5, 2008
About the author
David Roche
2 books1 followerLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
As an inspirational humorist and motivational speaker, David has appeared throughout the United States and Canada, as well as in England, Russia, New Zealand and Australia. He has also performed at the Clinton White House and headlined at the Sydney Olympics Arts Festival. David has been featured in four films, including Shameless, a feature-length documentary from the National Film Board of Canada, and has spoken to many universities, organizations, and corporate clients. The Church of 80% Sincerity is his first book and is based on his signature one-man show of the same title.
David was born in Hammond, Indiana, the eldest of seven children. His sixteen years of Roman Catholic education included four years studying to be a priest at Saint Lawrence Seminary in Wisconsin. David graduated magna cum laude from Saint Joseph’s College with a BA in philosophy. He and his wife, Marlena Blavin, live on the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia and in Marin County, California.
As an inspirational humorist and motivational speaker, David has appeared throughout the United States and Canada, as well as in England, Russia, New Zealand and Australia. He has also performed at the Clinton White House and headlined at the Sydney Olympics Arts Festival. David has been featured in four films, including Shameless, a feature-length documentary from the National Film Board of Canada, and has spoken to many universities, organizations, and corporate clients. The Church of 80% Sincerity is his first book and is based on his signature one-man show of the same title.
David was born in Hammond, Indiana, the eldest of seven children. His sixteen years of Roman Catholic education included four years studying to be a priest at Saint Lawrence Seminary in Wisconsin. David graduated magna cum laude from Saint Joseph’s College with a BA in philosophy. He and his wife, Marlena Blavin, live on the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia and in Marin County, California.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
July 4, 2008
This is a humorous essay by a man with a severe facial disfigurement, about learning to accept yourself the way you are, with all your flaws. The Church of 80% Sincerity is the "church of choice for recovering perfectionists." (The church is a metaphor, folks, and this is comedy. Don't panic). Roche writes,
"In the Church of 80% Sincerity, we think 80% sincerity is as good as it gets. (Especially in an election year). You can be 80% sincere 100% of the time, or 100 percent sincere 80 percent of the time. It's in that 20 percent area where you can get some slack and be yourself."
This book is beautiful and I recommend it. My favorite part is his "Principle of Delayed Understanding":
"We do not understand what is going on while it is going on. The human soul does not wear a watch, has no way to keep track of linear time and no interest in doing so. It waits patiently to gather the grace and tools to understand childhood embarrassment, human frailty, the qualities that we mistakenly feel are locked forever in our past...We are not failures for not understanding what is going on when it is going on. We simply do not always have the tools.
In the Church of 80% Sincerity, we believe in self-kindness. It takes years (by conscious reckoning) to learn the hard stuff, to learn what it is we need to learn, to know that the moment will come when it will, and while we are waiting for it, we should be kind to ourselves, and to others too, for they are in the same state.
It does not mean that time has passed, only that the moment has expanded.
Who says a moment has to be so tiny anyway? Who exactly are the moment police? In the Church of 80% Sincerity, you are allowed to say how long your moment is. So in June I can obsess about something I did in January and still be living in the moment. Or maybe your whole life is just one moment and all you have to do is live in your life to live in the moment."
I LOVE that. I'm kicking the Moment Police out of my head right now.
"In the Church of 80% Sincerity, we think 80% sincerity is as good as it gets. (Especially in an election year). You can be 80% sincere 100% of the time, or 100 percent sincere 80 percent of the time. It's in that 20 percent area where you can get some slack and be yourself."
This book is beautiful and I recommend it. My favorite part is his "Principle of Delayed Understanding":
"We do not understand what is going on while it is going on. The human soul does not wear a watch, has no way to keep track of linear time and no interest in doing so. It waits patiently to gather the grace and tools to understand childhood embarrassment, human frailty, the qualities that we mistakenly feel are locked forever in our past...We are not failures for not understanding what is going on when it is going on. We simply do not always have the tools.
In the Church of 80% Sincerity, we believe in self-kindness. It takes years (by conscious reckoning) to learn the hard stuff, to learn what it is we need to learn, to know that the moment will come when it will, and while we are waiting for it, we should be kind to ourselves, and to others too, for they are in the same state.
It does not mean that time has passed, only that the moment has expanded.
Who says a moment has to be so tiny anyway? Who exactly are the moment police? In the Church of 80% Sincerity, you are allowed to say how long your moment is. So in June I can obsess about something I did in January and still be living in the moment. Or maybe your whole life is just one moment and all you have to do is live in your life to live in the moment."
I LOVE that. I'm kicking the Moment Police out of my head right now.
March 14, 2017
I like to cruise through used bookstores, looking for "weird books". This book was in the religion section. I picked it up (mostly at random) and read the first sentence.
"I am facially disfigured."
Whoa. I read on, and he spelled out his disfigurement with casual, scientific detail.
Sold. I bought the book immediately.
The author, David Roche, can write. His tone is simple and matter of fact. If he doesn't know something, he says he doesn't know it. He seems to have little tolerance for bullshit.
Roche tells us his story, with light touches. And it's an interesting one. How people treat him. How he felt about himself. How he has grown as a person.
He seems to resent being "inspiring" and yet he is an inspirational speaker. Oddly, the way he tells it, there is no contradiction.
While there are religious aspects to the book, Roche is not exactly reverent. He makes fun of saints. He almost seems like an atheist. And yet he speaks of prayer. He says he has no tolerance for new age bullshit. His religiousness (I wouldn't call it "spirituality") is quite interesting and not preachy.
Despite the subject matter, it's a light, brief, fun book. Maybe a little too light, but that's its flaw and its charm. It's unusual, compelling, and the perfect sort of odd book to find at random. If I'd found the book any other way, I probably would have turned my nose up at it.
"I am facially disfigured."
Whoa. I read on, and he spelled out his disfigurement with casual, scientific detail.
Sold. I bought the book immediately.
The author, David Roche, can write. His tone is simple and matter of fact. If he doesn't know something, he says he doesn't know it. He seems to have little tolerance for bullshit.
Roche tells us his story, with light touches. And it's an interesting one. How people treat him. How he felt about himself. How he has grown as a person.
He seems to resent being "inspiring" and yet he is an inspirational speaker. Oddly, the way he tells it, there is no contradiction.
While there are religious aspects to the book, Roche is not exactly reverent. He makes fun of saints. He almost seems like an atheist. And yet he speaks of prayer. He says he has no tolerance for new age bullshit. His religiousness (I wouldn't call it "spirituality") is quite interesting and not preachy.
Despite the subject matter, it's a light, brief, fun book. Maybe a little too light, but that's its flaw and its charm. It's unusual, compelling, and the perfect sort of odd book to find at random. If I'd found the book any other way, I probably would have turned my nose up at it.
May 2, 2010
This slim volume basically tells the life story and emerging philosophy of David Roche, who was born in the 1940s with a hemangioma -- a tangle of blood vessels -- that deformed his face, and that was exacerbated by radiation treatments when he was a child.
Growing up with a face that some people spit on and others turned away from could be devastating for anyone, but Roche was upheld by his parents' faith in him, the nurturing of his Catholic faith and sometimes, his own naive optimism.
Eventually, though, the struggles he had in being accepted, particularly by women, put him through several crises and he needed to decide if and how he could make peace with himself and the world.
The result was his fictive "Church of 80 Percent Sincerity," where you and God understand that you don't have to be perfect, that your true beauty lies within, that you cannot change everything bad in the world yourself but have to be keenly open to grace, and where, finally, you realize that those who have most reviled you are dealing with demons of ugliness inside themselves.
Funny, poignant, and quietly inspiring, this is well worth the read.
November 15, 2015
I bought and read this book years ago. That was where I first heard about Anne Lamott. Since then I have read quite a few of Anne's quotes and essays. Most recently I have read three of her books and begun following her on Facebook. Her references to David Roche made me seek his book and read it again.
It still amazes me how good a life he has made for himself with all the drawbacks he has had to overcome. I like his sensible, realistic approach to religion. It is one most people could live with.
It still amazes me how good a life he has made for himself with all the drawbacks he has had to overcome. I like his sensible, realistic approach to religion. It is one most people could live with.
December 27, 2009
If you enjoy Anne Lamott's books, you'll love this funny and inspiring book of essays by David Roche. Not really about "church," these are notes from a man with a severely disfigured face. He calls it "the church for reformed perfectionists."
January 18, 2016
Great book about a man who is born with a facial deformity and has made peace with himself. It is both funny and heartbreaking.
April 29, 2017
The title intrigued me. I thought there would be a discussion of how we don't give ourselves wholeheartedly to that which we believe. Then I read the chapter headings...
Miracles Not Accepted Here
Random Acts of Cruelty
The Principle of Delayed Understanding (my favorite chapter, by the way)
The Basic Motivating Factor
Life as the Mirror
Prayer
The Laying on of Hands
Unconditional Love Has Its Conditions
Pitiless
Faith at Random
...and I wondered what this book might really be about.
A faster reader than me could have finished it in two, two and a half hours. It was surprisingly engaging. Lots of "listen to this" moments, had there been anyone nearby to read aloud to.
For me, this was more an autobiography than a treatise. He was telling MY story, sort of. Which is what he's been doing as a public speaker for a number of years now -- he and his beautiful wife. And, apparently, his listeners also feel he is telling their story, too. In fact, one teenage listener stood up in the question and answer segment and said, "Up until tonight, all my heroes were not like me. They wore costumes, they were superheroes. Now that I have met you, I have a hero who is like me."
The author was born with serious facial anomalies. Into a loving family, the eldest of seven children. The family was devout in their faith, and so was the author. However, over the years this devoutness soured, which he relates humorously. And so, he devised his "Church of 80% Sincerity" which is not to say that we are 80% good, but that being 80% IS good. Interesting.
In each chapter one can see oneself -- as either perpetrator or victim, or both. It is honest self-examination in safe hands.
Miracles Not Accepted Here
Random Acts of Cruelty
The Principle of Delayed Understanding (my favorite chapter, by the way)
The Basic Motivating Factor
Life as the Mirror
Prayer
The Laying on of Hands
Unconditional Love Has Its Conditions
Pitiless
Faith at Random
...and I wondered what this book might really be about.
A faster reader than me could have finished it in two, two and a half hours. It was surprisingly engaging. Lots of "listen to this" moments, had there been anyone nearby to read aloud to.
For me, this was more an autobiography than a treatise. He was telling MY story, sort of. Which is what he's been doing as a public speaker for a number of years now -- he and his beautiful wife. And, apparently, his listeners also feel he is telling their story, too. In fact, one teenage listener stood up in the question and answer segment and said, "Up until tonight, all my heroes were not like me. They wore costumes, they were superheroes. Now that I have met you, I have a hero who is like me."
The author was born with serious facial anomalies. Into a loving family, the eldest of seven children. The family was devout in their faith, and so was the author. However, over the years this devoutness soured, which he relates humorously. And so, he devised his "Church of 80% Sincerity" which is not to say that we are 80% good, but that being 80% IS good. Interesting.
In each chapter one can see oneself -- as either perpetrator or victim, or both. It is honest self-examination in safe hands.
November 7, 2012
Interesting read.
Some favorite bits:
"Hoping for miracles always makes me lazy."
"The miracles I believe in are mini-miracles, manageable miracles, bite-size miracles, miracles lite, one-minute miracles. They are miracles built of dreams, built of tomatoes, built of kisses, built of choice in the face of uncertainty and fear. They are miracles built of grace. As we open to grace, we are miracle makers."
"My face is an elaborately disguised gift from God. Oh, not a gift I was ecstatic about receiving. Did I open this gift and say, 'Ah....ah! Exquisite! How did you know what I wanted, God?' No, it was more like, 'You shouldn't have.'"
He tells about being prepared for his first confession at the age of eight and how he wanted to do a bang up job - "...I wanted to vacuum out my soul." He didn't know what adultery was, but his cousin had told him it was a terrible sin in the eyes of God, so he confessed that he had committed adultery 19 times. He says, "I saw a bare calf with a black sock on it rise up from the other side of the confessional screen as the priest roared with laughter. I jumped up and left, my adulteries unforgiven."
Unfortunately, he does commit adultery later in his life. His telling of this story is straight forward and open, but also has no sense of remorse. He married the woman after she divorced her husband and they are married still. This lack of remorse also ties into his ideas of living life fully and true to your heart. This is a great philosophy, but I believe in a different morality than Roche does.
Some great ideas and insights.
One sentence where he uses the 'f' word a few times.
Some favorite bits:
"Hoping for miracles always makes me lazy."
"The miracles I believe in are mini-miracles, manageable miracles, bite-size miracles, miracles lite, one-minute miracles. They are miracles built of dreams, built of tomatoes, built of kisses, built of choice in the face of uncertainty and fear. They are miracles built of grace. As we open to grace, we are miracle makers."
"My face is an elaborately disguised gift from God. Oh, not a gift I was ecstatic about receiving. Did I open this gift and say, 'Ah....ah! Exquisite! How did you know what I wanted, God?' No, it was more like, 'You shouldn't have.'"
He tells about being prepared for his first confession at the age of eight and how he wanted to do a bang up job - "...I wanted to vacuum out my soul." He didn't know what adultery was, but his cousin had told him it was a terrible sin in the eyes of God, so he confessed that he had committed adultery 19 times. He says, "I saw a bare calf with a black sock on it rise up from the other side of the confessional screen as the priest roared with laughter. I jumped up and left, my adulteries unforgiven."
Unfortunately, he does commit adultery later in his life. His telling of this story is straight forward and open, but also has no sense of remorse. He married the woman after she divorced her husband and they are married still. This lack of remorse also ties into his ideas of living life fully and true to your heart. This is a great philosophy, but I believe in a different morality than Roche does.
Some great ideas and insights.
One sentence where he uses the 'f' word a few times.
March 27, 2008
Who can resist a reluctant spiritual leader who promises you only have to be "good" 80 percent of the time -- and that you are totally accepted just as you are, warts and all?
David Roche is not a spiritual leader, per se -- he is, however, the founder of a tongue-in-cheek group called the Church of 80% Sincerity. The premise? Perfection is imposssible, so let's not even go there.
Roche should know about the inability to achieve perfection in this lifetime. Born with an extreme facial disfigurement, Roche has dealt with more pain, heartbreak, and rejection than most of us will ever come near. And he's come out the other side with humor, a heart full of love, and strength.
I love the message behind Roche's work, but something was missing in this book. Roche could take any element of his life -- his childhood, his rejection from seminary because of his face, his young adult life in a commune, his first or second marriage, his emergence as an inspirational speaker -- and focus on it. Instead, the book jumps from topic to topic, never fully exploring any of them.
As a result, I was left feeling like I knew a little bit about David Roche, but not enough to take his lessons and apply them to my own life. I'd love to see future books by him that take one period or experience of his life and really delve into it, getting into the nitty-gritty.
David Roche is not a spiritual leader, per se -- he is, however, the founder of a tongue-in-cheek group called the Church of 80% Sincerity. The premise? Perfection is imposssible, so let's not even go there.
Roche should know about the inability to achieve perfection in this lifetime. Born with an extreme facial disfigurement, Roche has dealt with more pain, heartbreak, and rejection than most of us will ever come near. And he's come out the other side with humor, a heart full of love, and strength.
I love the message behind Roche's work, but something was missing in this book. Roche could take any element of his life -- his childhood, his rejection from seminary because of his face, his young adult life in a commune, his first or second marriage, his emergence as an inspirational speaker -- and focus on it. Instead, the book jumps from topic to topic, never fully exploring any of them.
As a result, I was left feeling like I knew a little bit about David Roche, but not enough to take his lessons and apply them to my own life. I'd love to see future books by him that take one period or experience of his life and really delve into it, getting into the nitty-gritty.
September 28, 2008
As a big fan of David Roche's stage work, I was thrilled to learn that he has authored a book. The Church of 80% Sincerity lives up to all expectations - it's smart, funny, honest, inspiring, tough, touching and powerful. A line in the Publisher's Weekly review says it well: 'Roche is frank and witty and incapable of resorting to sentimental pap.'
This quick read is both personal and universal. For those of us who sometimes feel that we don't 'fit in' or struggle with self-acceptance, Roche's take on living with a severely disfigured face is heartening, hopeful and, oddly enough, offers real, practical guidance. And in the process of sharing his slightly skewed perspective on what it means to be human, Roche completely reframes the disability paradigm. He doesn't 'overcome' his challenge, living with a non-conforming face, instead he integrates the experience into his larger human self, and gets on with life.
This quick read is both personal and universal. For those of us who sometimes feel that we don't 'fit in' or struggle with self-acceptance, Roche's take on living with a severely disfigured face is heartening, hopeful and, oddly enough, offers real, practical guidance. And in the process of sharing his slightly skewed perspective on what it means to be human, Roche completely reframes the disability paradigm. He doesn't 'overcome' his challenge, living with a non-conforming face, instead he integrates the experience into his larger human self, and gets on with life.
April 3, 2008
The title and forward by Anne Lamott caught my attention and I read the book last weekend. The author has a facial deformity that he has turned into his career by talking about living with what you are dealt and overcoming adversity. Nothing groundbreaking, but his writing flows easily and he helps you understand what people feel like when they are stared at in public. It was interesting, but not captivating.
September 25, 2008
+ : This book was unlike anything I've read before, so I found myself drawn to the next page by curiosity alone.
- : Maybe it's the way I was raised, but some of the narrator's life choices were decisions I questioned on the basis of morality. Rather than cast judgement (because the title and multiple portions of the text admit imperfection), I would simply caution readers to be prepared for anything.
- : Maybe it's the way I was raised, but some of the narrator's life choices were decisions I questioned on the basis of morality. Rather than cast judgement (because the title and multiple portions of the text admit imperfection), I would simply caution readers to be prepared for anything.
September 15, 2008
Starts from the premise that none of us can be sincere (about our beliefs) 100% of the time. Contains a few pithy gems, one being the Principle of Delayed Understanding (what Elaine calls "we get it when we get it"), and the concept of who defines how long a "moment" last? Who says it can't be 20 years long? Quick read, but some good takeaways.
March 11, 2008
A good book about self-forgiveness and getting past difficult moments in life. Had good points that made me reconsider the way I view myself and events in my past.
July 29, 2016
This book is a light and easy read that leaves anyone feeling good. Humorous, entertaining and full of lessons learned through living.
March 31, 2009
For those who think about things like grace and love and unfortunate Halloween costume choices, this is an excellent book.
February 26, 2010
True story of David Roche learning to live fully with a facial deformity. Lovely, insightful look at human behavior.
December 8, 2010
I started this book and never go back to it. It just didn't grab me. Who knows, I might try again in a while, but for now, I'm shelving it.
September 11, 2011
Very inspirational without being trite.
February 18, 2013
Moving, inspirational. A joy to read.
July 6, 2012
Funny, sad book about a disfigured man, and his philosophy of life--a memoir.
July 29, 2012
I bought this because Ann Lamott's name was on it.....it is nothing like a Lamott book.
December 14, 2013
Interesting perspective of living with a terrible disfigurement and how kids in some ways get it, while adults are terrified.
December 19, 2024
I was first "introduced" to David Roche and his work via the wonderful documentary; "Shameless: The Art of Disability" by the NFB and one of my favourite filmmakers and authors, Bonnie Sherr Klein. The documentary is available for free on the NFB website, I recommend it to anyone and everyone.
David is incredibly charming, talented, funny, and straightforward in the documentary and this shines through in this short autobiography he has written.
Born with a facial difference due to vascular malformation, David has had to cope with the often horrible attitudes towards people that look different his entire life; probably escalated by the fact that he grew up in the 50s and 60s, when people were even less tolerant towards differences than they are today. He's been spat on, shouted at, stared at, and other horrid things, yet he doesn't want pity and certainly doesn't wallow. He states all these things as simple facts and experiences he has had and reflects upon them.
His "church" is both humorous and intriguing, much like David himself. He suggests that we don't need to love ourselves 100% of the time. 80% is good enough. He explores his Catholic background, something I could relate to, as I was raised Catholic as well. David's realizations that prayer doesn't work and that his wishes for a miracle weren't gonna happen were consistent with my experiences as well. David finds a new, revolutionary type of spirituality that comes in a Zen-type way, via experiences with others and with nature, he finds his version of God. I'm not quite where David is spiritually as of yet, but that's ok.
My only critique of the book is that it started to sound an awful lot like the inspirational speakers and disability as inspiration porn (my term, not his) that he openly criticized. It got a little too New Agey and "woo" for my tastes, things he had also found phoney in the past. Maybe it was part of his evolution as a person, it's hard to say, but I found it getting too much like a self-help book trope.
It's definitely worth a read. I find David is even funnier and more interesting when you hear him speak or see him perform. He has a website, and there is the documentary I recommended above. I suggest you check them out!
David is incredibly charming, talented, funny, and straightforward in the documentary and this shines through in this short autobiography he has written.
Born with a facial difference due to vascular malformation, David has had to cope with the often horrible attitudes towards people that look different his entire life; probably escalated by the fact that he grew up in the 50s and 60s, when people were even less tolerant towards differences than they are today. He's been spat on, shouted at, stared at, and other horrid things, yet he doesn't want pity and certainly doesn't wallow. He states all these things as simple facts and experiences he has had and reflects upon them.
His "church" is both humorous and intriguing, much like David himself. He suggests that we don't need to love ourselves 100% of the time. 80% is good enough. He explores his Catholic background, something I could relate to, as I was raised Catholic as well. David's realizations that prayer doesn't work and that his wishes for a miracle weren't gonna happen were consistent with my experiences as well. David finds a new, revolutionary type of spirituality that comes in a Zen-type way, via experiences with others and with nature, he finds his version of God. I'm not quite where David is spiritually as of yet, but that's ok.
My only critique of the book is that it started to sound an awful lot like the inspirational speakers and disability as inspiration porn (my term, not his) that he openly criticized. It got a little too New Agey and "woo" for my tastes, things he had also found phoney in the past. Maybe it was part of his evolution as a person, it's hard to say, but I found it getting too much like a self-help book trope.
It's definitely worth a read. I find David is even funnier and more interesting when you hear him speak or see him perform. He has a website, and there is the documentary I recommended above. I suggest you check them out!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 12, 2019
Anne Lamott recommended this book. So I expected to love it. I did not. It just didn’t deliver. I don’t know. It failed at funny and at inspiring. Not terrible. Just, not great.
July 12, 2016
Very inspiring and a gentle reminder to not take yourself quite so seriously.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews