Die, Snow White! Die, Damn You!: A Very Grimm Tale

by Yuri Rasovsky

With the premiere of two new film versions of the Snow White tale, Blackstone enters the fray with its own adult, edgy, and not altogether serious full-cast exposé of fairy-taledom.

At last it can be told! Was Snow White really as pure as the driven snow? Did her allegedly wicked stepmother get a bum rap from the Grimm brothers? What went on behind the closed Dutch doors of the dwarves' cottage? How many handsome princes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

These and other burning questions may or may not be answered in this new pseudogothic audio play that Blackstone commissioned from award-winning author and audio dramatist Yuri Rasovsky.

Genres: Fantasy, Audiobook, Fiction, Fairy Tales, Humor, Plays, Comedy

2 pages, Audiobook

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Miranda Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, unsurprisingly, this was a dark, dark twist on fairytales.

This is NOT your Disney Snow White with her little cottage in the woods singing to the little birds and the bees.

This is the twisted remake.

Snow White is not an innocent little princess, the Step Mother is far more devious than I expected and Rumpelstiltskin....well, you'd have to read it to find out.

One of my favorite reoccurring "bits" was the way the Queen took over the Kingdom. She poisoned the King, rendering him unable to speak anything other than gibberish.

And so, most of the audiobook consisted of the King speaking utter nonsense while the Queen would "interpret" in a way that would benefit her.

Most of the humor was edgy and hilarious but there were a few scenes that did not sit well to me, such as the one where:

Snow was being raped in the woods but the rapist couldn't finish...and she gets bored and starts to taunt him

To me, that is a bit too sensitive of a subject to be so blatant about the dark humor...but then again, considering my quote at the beginning, perhaps I just didn't get that part.

Audiobook Comments
Read by a full cast - really, truly well done. The characters were amazing and the comedic timing was perfect.

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[Mariah Roze · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this book on audio and really enjoyed it. The acting was very fun!

[Kimmylongtime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this throughout my shift today. This was hilarious and I would definitely considering listening to another grim tale !! Also, there was a full cast which gets a higher review from me !!
This made my overall stressful day not so unbearable. I needed this low stress, high energy read!! This was super animated and in this book Snow White was no longer playing damsel in distress !!!

[Magen - Inquiring Professional Dog Trainer · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars Trigger Warnings: rape and contributing to rape culture through minimization of such rape; fat shaming, sexism, racism

I initially LOVED this story. It is a sarcastic and caustic retelling of Snow White with incredibly well done audio. However, early on, there is one particular scene (see spoiler above) which is reprehensible and while I may have been able to look past that one scene, the entire story hinges on it and constantly refers back to it. Also, the story consistently pertuates the culture that allows such scenes to be commonplace. It took me two days to finish it as it was just so hard to swallow that level of disrespect.

The ending was a solid twist on the story and redeemed it a bit. I am glad I listened to the end for that social commentary. There was much to love in this story, but that one scene just ruined this. I LOVE social commentary jokes and quite often watch TV shows which make them, including South Park and The Simpsons, but just like with those shows, sometimes said jokes go well beyond social commentary to actually perpuating the thing they are trying to comment on to effect social change. I do not necessarily think this author nor the actors who played a role in this intended to perpuate and contribute to social ills, but they did and because of that, I cannot recommend this book to anyone.

[JG (Introverted Reader) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I chose to listen to this because it showed up in my digital library's "recently added" lists and I recognized it as having been nominated for a couple of Audie awards. "I can't go wrong with something that's been nominated for an award, right?" I reasoned with myself.

Wrong.

It was terrible.

Had it been any longer than two hours, I would have stopped after about 30 minutes. I felt the writer was trying way too hard to be funny and as a result, the whole thing just fell flat. The plot, such as it was, would circle miles out of the way to set up a joke that didn't even make me smile.

The basics are here--the evil stepmother, Snow White, the mother wishing for a child fitting Snow White's description...I guess that's about it. There were tons of other fairy- and folk tale creatures dragged in by the skin of their teeth, which I should have loved, but I didn't. I mostly didn't see any rhyme or reason for who was included and who wasn't. I honestly can't even remember what happened to most of them.

Snow White was super annoying. I believe that was kind of the point, but man, she set my teeth on edge. She's supposed to be about fifteen but she's voiced by Sandra Oh, who is at least as far from fifteen as I am, and she generally acts about two years old. Temper tantrums? Seriously? Not attractive or enjoyable.

I could go on but I won't. I'm sure there's an audience for this, I just don't know who it would be. If you're interested, don't let me dissuade you from trying it out; at two hours long, you don't have much to lose.

[Cindi · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up.
This wasn't horrible. Based on some of the reviews, I was a bit afraid. But it was offered for free download from the library and I love fairy tales & retellings, so I thought I'd take a chance. I can't say it's on my top 10 favorites list, or that I would exactly remember or recommend it to a friend, but it was entertaining and actually very well performed.
The blend of different fairy tales was interesting as well.
If not for the implied sex and the king's bedroom scene, I'd suggest it to my daughter. But although not explicit, I don't feel like it is appropriate for her age.

[Corey Klauder · Rating 2 out of 5]

Umma.... Let me start by saying I listened to the Audio Book version of this on my way home during a 4 and a half hour trip, and it was a big distraction because it pretty much was like listening to a movie. I thought the book did have its funny parts, I thought it was a unique twist on the characters, but I found myself getting confused alot as to where the story was going. This might possibly be one I have to go back and read a paper version of, maybe just the Audio Book through me off?

[Jarrod Scarbrough · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for a fun and comedic quick tale. This was not it. This felt like the result of staying up late drinking too much while watching hours of sketch comedy and satires, then deciding you could throw your own story together. Glad it was quick, because it was more than a little painful.

[Rebekah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I made several mistakes in choosing this book. The first was of course picking it up in the first place. The second was choosing to listen to the audio version (the voice actors grated at my nerves). The third was listening to the end.

[Nox Veneno · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a cringe worthy tryhard at edgy comedy.

[tteise · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yikes

[Ariana · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was obviously written by a man (derogatory).

[Charity · Rating 1 out of 5]

this may be the worst audiobook I've ever listened to. it's definitely the worst thing I've read/listened to in a couple of years. unfunny, try-hard, unoriginal hack job complete with a rape scene played for 'laughs.' the level of humor throughout is such that it includes a "fallen and can't get up" joke. and then when you've finally sat through most of it, the racism and fat jokes start. so bad it's actually caused me to lose a great deal of respect for the actors involved. since it was short I stubbornly finished it, but even then I listened to it at more than double speed so that I could.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well that was... unique....
I understood the German though so that was something. Always good to get practice. :-)

[Terri · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Carol Burrnett Show for your Ears (Audiobook)
ROFLWTIME (for those non-internet slang users: Rolling on the Floor laughing with tears in my eyes) from the start.

Don't expect to find the anything remotely resembling "Snow White a Tale of Terror". This reminded me more of a Vaudeville show or one of the Carol Burnett Show skits that gets slightly out of hand as Tim Conway & Harvey Korman start alibiing.

This is the book to read if you are feeling blue and need something to cheer you up or for about any other reason. Yuri Rasovsky spins a unique take on the classic Snow White fairy tale story with a few other fairy tales thrown in for fun. The Narration staff was OUTSTANDING!

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was entertaining enough and it reminded me of a play - which I guess is kind of what it was going for - but I wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it. They brought together a lot of fairtales, not just Snow White so it was an interesting take. The actors were over dramatic (as they are in plays) and the music was corny (as they usually are in plays) and some of the humour seemed forced. As re-tellings go it was ok.

[Missy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have given this a 5 star review but I thought at time there was way too much going on so it was hard to follow. I thought Sandra Oh did an amazing job. She made me laugh several time throughout the book. Overall I'm really glad I listened to the book and it was very enjoyable. Definitely would recommend it to anyone!!!

[Tabitha Jernigan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this because I love a classic retelling of any fairy tale but it just didn’t do it for me. I will mention the Audio was incredible! Highly impressed with the full cast! I just wish the story line had been better. It constantly jumped from scene to scene and it was difficult to keep up. Overall, the actors made me it stick it out until the end.

[harlequin {Stephanie} · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had potential, but it was not that funny. The parody of snow white in The Book of Lost Things was much funnier. Had a few laughs. Not much more.

[Tanisha · Rating 1 out of 5]

This story was really weird and I didn't like it. It was a waste of my time and one of the stupidest stories I've ever come across! I wouldn't suggest this book to anyone!!

[CraftyChara · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

[Eleni Konstantine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious retelling of Snow White. Perfect to listen to when doing the dishes!

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unique. Creative. Not my thing. At all.

[Kiwi · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I loved the full cast narration, the story was quite dull. Definitely trying too hard to be funny and the humor just didn't really land because of it.

[Book-girl · Rating 3 out of 5]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Might be that I was so tired from having only slept 3 hours yesterday, but this was so funny.

"Snow White : hello mother.

The evil queen: im not you mother idiot, she is dead, dead, dead. DEAD!!!

Snow White :uuuuuuuuuuh, why does nobody love me 😭😭😭.

The evil queen : I will strike you down and bury you in a hole while screaming die snow White die dammit!!!

The huntsman: though Snow White has beauty her personality leaves something to be desired. By the way people, you know the queen murdered Snow White?

The evil queen: Allegedly murdered you mean.

The evil queen: Mirror Mirror on the wall whos the fairest of them all?

Mirror on the wall: now that you killed snow
White, you are my queen.

The evil queen: Hah! I KNEW IT!!! I win.

[Melonie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an audio play, as opposed to an actual "book," but having just finished listening to it through my public library and Libby, it absolutely counts as a book! 😁
This wasn't just a "pseudogothic audio play" about Snow White, it's a ridiculous (as in good fun) and light play on various Grimm characters. There's NOTHING serious about this work, and that made it perfect for a bit of light listening with an occasional laugh. Just what I needed at the time.

[Zen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to this novel as a dark adult retelling of Snow White with other fairy tales woven through seemed like a lot of fun. Unfortunately, a lot of the jokes fell flat for me, the characters were all fairly annoying, and there was an overall feeling of trying too hard. I think the only reason I finished it is because I listened to it at 2x speed and it was only 2 hours regular time to begin with.

[Melissa]

my library offered free access to streaming this book online so I figured I'd try it. the audio production and acting was well-done but the story itself was meh. I usually love a fairy tale retelling but this just didn't grab my attention. can't say I'd recommend it or want to revisit it.

[Chris King · Rating 4 out of 5]

The audiobook is a great format for this book. It is in the format of a well produced radio play. There are some parts that were more adult in nature, so be warned. If there are more books like this, I would gladly read them.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

A fun, but insanely crazy read. Definitely what you’re looking for if you’re going for an irreverent and funny take on a classic fairy tale, with an ensemble cast and music. Entertaining, but I’m not entirely sure what I listened to 😆