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Someday Find Me
A beautiful debut novel about young love and finding your way.
You don’t have to be missing to be lost…
It’s a hot summer in the city and the nation is gripped by the disappearance of London student Fate Jones.
But 25-year-old Fitz has a different blonde girl on his mind: his beloved girlfriend Saffy is slipping slowly back into the grasp of an eating disorder. Struggling under the weight of her self-doubt and self-hatred, Saffy becomes increasingly lost and Fitz finds himself unable to help. As Saffy’s behaviour grows more dangerous, he does the only thing he can think of – he calls for help and she is taken away.
Petrified at the prospect of another stay in Happy Blossoms, a residential treatment centre, Saffy runs. In London, Fitz realises too late that he is the only one who can help her and sets off in a desperate bid to find her. Meanwhile the media’s obsession with the search for Fate Jones intensifies. Her image is everywhere, her last days suddenly public property. But how much does anyone really know about the girl on the poster?
‘Someday Find Me’ is a shocking and thought-provoking love story. Told through the charming, funny and anguished voices of the two young lovers, it is a novel about how you find your way when you don’t know who you really are.
You don’t have to be missing to be lost…
It’s a hot summer in the city and the nation is gripped by the disappearance of London student Fate Jones.
But 25-year-old Fitz has a different blonde girl on his mind: his beloved girlfriend Saffy is slipping slowly back into the grasp of an eating disorder. Struggling under the weight of her self-doubt and self-hatred, Saffy becomes increasingly lost and Fitz finds himself unable to help. As Saffy’s behaviour grows more dangerous, he does the only thing he can think of – he calls for help and she is taken away.
Petrified at the prospect of another stay in Happy Blossoms, a residential treatment centre, Saffy runs. In London, Fitz realises too late that he is the only one who can help her and sets off in a desperate bid to find her. Meanwhile the media’s obsession with the search for Fate Jones intensifies. Her image is everywhere, her last days suddenly public property. But how much does anyone really know about the girl on the poster?
‘Someday Find Me’ is a shocking and thought-provoking love story. Told through the charming, funny and anguished voices of the two young lovers, it is a novel about how you find your way when you don’t know who you really are.
259 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
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51 people want to read
About the author
Nicci Cloke
11 books124 followersNicci Cloke is the author of eight novels, including two under the pseudonym Phoebe Locke. Her books have been published in twelve languages.
She previously worked as a nanny, a cocktail waitress and a Christmas Elf to support her writing. Before being published, she worked as a permissions manager, looking after literary estates including those of Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes and T. S. Eliot, and was also communications manager at the Faber Academy.
She previously worked as a nanny, a cocktail waitress and a Christmas Elf to support her writing. Before being published, she worked as a permissions manager, looking after literary estates including those of Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes and T. S. Eliot, and was also communications manager at the Faber Academy.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
March 2, 2013
Not for me within first few pages so not going to even try to force myself through as I have too many other things to read
August 5, 2018
Nothing like the books I usually read but once I got used to the colloquial modern style I found this a gripping and believable story. If life is like this for young people today I'm glad I was young in the 1960's.
November 21, 2013
Review from http://bleachhouselibrary.blogspot.ie/
This novel is mainly about two characters: Fitz, a 25year old barworker/DJ and his girlfriend Saffy, an art student. After meeting at a party, they are drawn to each other and very quickly move in together. However, Fitz discovers Saffy has issues. Drink, drugs and an eating disorder are all symptoms of deeper problems. He is slow discovering these issues though, as he is completely blinded by his love for her. When the seriousness of her addictions begin to threaten Saffy's health, and even her safety, Fitz feels he has no option but to call for help.
Saffy's side of the story interlaces with Fitz's and the reader can see how she has many problems that are spiraling out of control. Her dependence on drugs reads as a dark and dirty place to be, and her problems surrounding food are causing bouts of OCD. Basically, she is drowning and cannot see anyway through the surface of her despair.
Rehab has not worked for her before, and she describes being force fed and being watched as she visits the toilet, but with no happy ending. When she sees that she may have to return to the rehab centre, she runs away. As with the drink and drugs, running away seems to be her only way to escape. Saffy's family clearly do not see any light at the end of the tunnel and when her sister Jelli, talks to Fitz about her, this is when he questions if he has made a mistake by asking for help.
" "Don't get hung up on Saf. She lives on her own planet most of the time,"
"Find yourself someone new, hon, without issues. Saf's sweet but she'll always put herself first, it's just the way she's wired."
The ache in my chest grew bigger and bigger and my hands and feet felt itchy and I realised all of a sudden that the Saffy her family knew wasn't her - maybe it was a her they'd just made up to explain it all away but whatever it was, it wasn't her. My Saffy was the real Saffy, and I knew her better than any of them ever would and there was no way in hell I was letting her just leave or be alone or be afraid. "
Nicci Cloke has written an in-depth look at love which knows no judgment. Fitz is just blown away by Saffy and will do anything to be with her. Saffy, while adoring Fitz, is just too far gone in her depths of darkness to see how much he wants her, how much he can help her, how he can try to fix her.
It is a harsh read, with some very dark moments. The scene where Saffy's mother is force feeding her is heartbreaking. Another where Fitz tried to make her eat an apple is also disturbing. However, we can't ignore the realities in this world and this book is as real as it gets.
Recommended.
This novel is mainly about two characters: Fitz, a 25year old barworker/DJ and his girlfriend Saffy, an art student. After meeting at a party, they are drawn to each other and very quickly move in together. However, Fitz discovers Saffy has issues. Drink, drugs and an eating disorder are all symptoms of deeper problems. He is slow discovering these issues though, as he is completely blinded by his love for her. When the seriousness of her addictions begin to threaten Saffy's health, and even her safety, Fitz feels he has no option but to call for help.
Saffy's side of the story interlaces with Fitz's and the reader can see how she has many problems that are spiraling out of control. Her dependence on drugs reads as a dark and dirty place to be, and her problems surrounding food are causing bouts of OCD. Basically, she is drowning and cannot see anyway through the surface of her despair.
Rehab has not worked for her before, and she describes being force fed and being watched as she visits the toilet, but with no happy ending. When she sees that she may have to return to the rehab centre, she runs away. As with the drink and drugs, running away seems to be her only way to escape. Saffy's family clearly do not see any light at the end of the tunnel and when her sister Jelli, talks to Fitz about her, this is when he questions if he has made a mistake by asking for help.
" "Don't get hung up on Saf. She lives on her own planet most of the time,"
"Find yourself someone new, hon, without issues. Saf's sweet but she'll always put herself first, it's just the way she's wired."
The ache in my chest grew bigger and bigger and my hands and feet felt itchy and I realised all of a sudden that the Saffy her family knew wasn't her - maybe it was a her they'd just made up to explain it all away but whatever it was, it wasn't her. My Saffy was the real Saffy, and I knew her better than any of them ever would and there was no way in hell I was letting her just leave or be alone or be afraid. "
Nicci Cloke has written an in-depth look at love which knows no judgment. Fitz is just blown away by Saffy and will do anything to be with her. Saffy, while adoring Fitz, is just too far gone in her depths of darkness to see how much he wants her, how much he can help her, how he can try to fix her.
It is a harsh read, with some very dark moments. The scene where Saffy's mother is force feeding her is heartbreaking. Another where Fitz tried to make her eat an apple is also disturbing. However, we can't ignore the realities in this world and this book is as real as it gets.
Recommended.
January 21, 2014
Plot in as nutshell: Two junkies who love each other. Saff has an eating disorder. Her folks are posh and set high standards – and disapprove of Fitz. His family are disadvantaged.
Redeeming features: Captures horror of mental disorder.
A lovely description of the effect of trying to buy food almost at end.
Touching romance – Fitz understands the importance of loving and caring enough to try to find Saff when she leaves. Her family think she’s just selfish and she’ll always come running back. They don’t even go looking for her. When she was younger her mother eventually lost all patience with her, screamed at her and tried to force food into her – that too felt real but understated.
In the end Saff admits herself to hospital to get better for Fitz. Love triumphs.
Young adult fiction and not really my bag.
Redeeming features: Captures horror of mental disorder.
A lovely description of the effect of trying to buy food almost at end.
Touching romance – Fitz understands the importance of loving and caring enough to try to find Saff when she leaves. Her family think she’s just selfish and she’ll always come running back. They don’t even go looking for her. When she was younger her mother eventually lost all patience with her, screamed at her and tried to force food into her – that too felt real but understated.
In the end Saff admits herself to hospital to get better for Fitz. Love triumphs.
Young adult fiction and not really my bag.
February 20, 2015
This is possibly one if the most mind numbingly bland books I've ever read. Perhaps the characters were supposed to be ordinary but EVERYONE I know is more interesting than whiny Saffy and thicko Fitz. Finishing this was like an endurance test. If you want to read it let me know and you can gladly have my copy. The only part I actually enjoyed was the green colour of the cover. It's rare that I loathe a book so much... but my time is scarce and this book did nothing but waste it! Sorry.
January 15, 2013
I liked the way this book was writen but didn't like Saffy. I found her irritating. I didn't like the story to much as it was mainly crack sex and living on the brink. I'm sure this book would suit many others though.
April 5, 2013
not for me at all.. after about 15 to 20 pages i decided not go any further... first disappointment in my reading life....
May 21, 2013
Didn't like the characters at the start,but you slowly begin to believe in them.
And realise you want them to be happy.Because you want to believe in love.
And realise you want them to be happy.Because you want to believe in love.
October 21, 2013
I couldn't get into the book but was happy that i didn't give up. Good book although i wasn't very happy with the conclusion and im not actually sure what the plot of the book was.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews