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Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar

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From her beginnings as a wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds, through her spirited adventures watching self-satisfying monkeys, throwing up on Chinese food deliverymen, and stalking Leo DiCaprio, here are the goofy highs and horrifying lows of life as Kelly Oxford.

317 pages, Hardcover

First published August 21, 2012

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7426 people want to read

About the author

Kelly Oxford

3 books264 followers
Kelly Oxford is a Canadian author, screenwriter, and social media influencer.

In 1996, Oxford dropped out of Mount Royal University after one semester.[2] She started blogging as a means of daily productivity and self-publishing. She later worked as a waitress and at a shoe store.

In 2001, Oxford became a full-time stay-at-home mother and began focusing on her online writing and scriptwriting. She started an anonymous blog in 2002, joined Twitter in 2009, and gained a large following, eventually attracting the attention of celebrities including Diablo Cody and Roger Ebert and being contacted by a number of agents. Oxford moved to Los Angeles in 2012.

In 2013 Oxford published a semi-autobiographical book, Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar, which became a New York Times bestseller.

Oxford and Molly McNearney, head writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live!, developed a semi-autobiographical comedy for TV Land in early 2016. The pair would write and star in the series.

On April 18, 2017, Oxford released her second book, When You Find Out the World is Against You: And Other Funny Memories About Awful Moments.

It was announced in March 2017 that Oxford was developing a '90s teen drama series for Hulu, with her The Disaster Artist collaborators James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Evan Goldberg producing.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 821 reviews
Profile Image for karen.
4,012 reviews172k followers
September 24, 2018
never send a pretty lady to do a funny lady's job...

which is only a little unfair. because her tweets, upon which she built her following and fame, are really funny. or at least the ones in the publisher-issued promotional material stuck in this book are - i am not someone who is super-savvy when it comes to twitter or the rest of those online spaces that have given us such internet celebrities as allie brosh, jenny lawson, grumpy cat, or lang leav.


-How do you get red wine stains off a baby?

-Web MD is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where the ending is always cancer.

-It's too bad that everyone who has a solution for everything is at home commenting on the internet.

and my very favorite:

I still feel like Katy Perry is what Hugh Hefner would do if he got his hands on Zooey Deschanel.

that is very funny stuff.

but i feel like this book is not as clever as those tweets, and maybe long-form writing isn't her forte. michael jordan was not a great baseball player, after all.

the opening line of this review was my lame attempt at a clever twitter-style homage, and i am in no way saying that pretty girls can't also be funny, because - duh. however - there is a certain kind of pretty girl *koff*sloane crosley*koff* whose humor is cocktail party kind of humor, where pretty people are fawned over and drunkenly told "you are so funny!" more than is true because people like to gravitate around pretty and ingratiate themselves by making shiny people feel good even better about themselves.

but that kind of encouragement only enables confidence to metastasize into arrogance

it's weird to write a book review for a memoir, because in a way, it's like you are writing a review of a person - judging their life. and i'm more trying to judge her delivery, but it still feels weird. see, the way she relates her exploits can come across as smug and self-absorbed; the ones focusing on her childhood seem embellished, assigning very sophisticated thoughts and speeches to her young self, and she admits to several antisocial tics that are kind of like how patrick bateman's diary must read:

I tried to make my face look interested. Ninety percent of the time I'm listening to someone is spent wondering if my face looks interested enough.

or after she is having sex with a man in a park after getting a short haircut and they are mistaken for a gay couple and had rocks thrown at them:

I don't even think about the hate crime in progress. At this point I'm so angry at my hair, the hate crime seems loathsome but inconsequential.

that's the kind of shit that only a pretty girl can get away with saying.

and she knows it:

she gives off the impression of candor, by expressing opinions that civilized people just don't say, like when she is working at a care facility for individuals with brain injuries:

I retreated to the corner of the room as he pulled her elastic pants down and undid her adult diaper. My first thoughts: no bikini wax, atrophied thighs, but all around a good body. I immediately hated myself for thinking it, but thanked myself for not saying it out loud. I was way too unprofessional to be in there. I was a crude and terrible person.

or in another story

He seemed harmless, but he was hanging out with a group of Asian guys, which I did not think was normal. That's not racist, that's observational.

and she is willing to discuss things like peeing her pants in line at a gas station, having to give herself an enema in the emergency room and how her trip to the zoo with her children was ruined by her hand being covered in her son's shit. however, this seeming lack of vanity is undermined by the way she slyly peppers her stories with compliments she has received, like when her friend says to her "We look the exact same, but you have bigger boobs. and He looks at me longer than he should, causing one of his leggy girls to sneer at my rayon sweater, again, aaaand "You have a good body. What'd you steal?",and from another person and another story altogether altogether: "Seriously, you have a really fucking good body. I've been doing this since I was sixteen. I know girls' bodies, and you have a hot body. we get it, you're hot. it's subtle, but consistent, and yet since she will juxtapose these compliments with sticking her elbow in a stranger's cum at a strip club, or puking all over some guy's car while drunk, she can play the "i am showing you all my warts" card. but she's not. because you never forget that she thinks she is better than you. no matter who you are.

she will say things like, I'm never catty. Cattiness is a girl-on-girl crime. I'm not biased; I have as much contempt for men as I do for women. I'm just being a regular asshole

but she still uses her gender as a shield.

"How do you know him?"

"He's a fan of mine." I hear myself and wince. God, I'm an idiot. It's lucky I'm a girl - I'd be such a dick if I were a guy.


yeah, just because you have a vagina doesn't mean you can't still be a dick. hiding behind the pretty girl umbrella doesn't give you much protection.

and this helplessness and entitlement

"I can't work any kind of job that involves a schedule. And my high school diploma is only good for entry into two professions - waitress or janitor. How good is your life insurance?"

"I don't know," he said nonchalantly. "I think you'd get, like, fifty thousand bucks or something." Then he turned on the blender to make a goddamn smoothie, as if this wasn't the worst news I'd ever heard in my life.


so i guess it's very fortunate that princess found twitter.

the magical negro portion of the LA story, in which she meets a black bathroom attendant, and complains about her life to the poor women, is probably the most emblematic of the fact that for her, other people are just put here on earth for her convenience. at the end of her story about how she never got to go to europe (she is 19 here), along with her other trivial problems, she realizes that her life is not as bad as she thinks it is, but she really does miss the bigger picture, and her takeaway from this experience is really just a symptom of a larger disease. she thinks she has learned that hey! perspective! my life is not as bad as it could be, but what she has actually done, in crowing to her friends about the magical negro she just met is to reduce another human being to a hackneyed trope that is already fraught with uncomfortable racial discomfort. to normal people. and we are the all the other people at the cocktail party; faceless, and expected to be in awe of her.

and it's hard to feel sympathy for two nineteen year old girls who are on a road trip, complaining about how poor they are when they have just spent 900 dollars on a van to go on the road trip in the first place. and the way they end that particular adventure is a huge moral fail, which oxford completely recognizes, but still. most of her actions show a complete disregard for other people, except in the ways that they can be useful to her in terms of rides, weed, self-image.

it's not a terrible book, i just wish she had been able to let go a little more, like jenny lawson or sara barron, two women who genuinely do not give a shit what you think of them, and aren't worried if their butts look fat in their essays.

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Jennifer.
406 reviews117 followers
December 4, 2013
You know how you want to love something but in the end you think this is narcissistic crap, well my friends this is how it was for me. And I never thought I would start a review with a quote from Sarah Silverman (she is not a favorite of mine either but I have come to love her for this quote):

"I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically," she said.
"Because I feel that we live in a society where fat men deserve love, and fat women do not deserve love -- at least in white America. And so I feel like that's an ugly thing, and it doesn't make me laugh."


Now how are Sarah Silverman and Kelly Oxford comparable, well both are very attractive, and funny. On the other hand Silverman seems to not have fallen down the narcissism hole. Oxford's book could be summarized basically as a homage to her good looks and fear of getting fat but also constantly referring to how awesomely skinny she is and does not have to work out to maintain her skinniness. Way to go, you fucking lucked out on the metabolism train. And on top of being naturally thin you have awesome looks, a rich husband, lovely children, and good wit so obviously when you are at the top of the meat chain of society the best thing you can do is mock the shit out of people at the bottom of it. Seriously I wish I had tallied how often she mentions fat people and other ethnicities in derogatory terms.

The phrase "white and privileged" has an excellent example to use in the form of Kelly Oxford. Good going Kelly you really have lived up to that description of yourself as an asshole.

Also by the way when you have to say twice in book "I'm not a racist." That is usually a clear indicator that in fact you are.

Kelly you could be a good writer, really you had some zingers, and the one chapter on your stint working as a physical therapist assistant was good, but the narcissism is killing your craft.
Profile Image for Brittany.
62 reviews
April 7, 2013
From the introduction, its clear she had no direction or goal for this book. We don't journey and grow with her. There aren't big life lessons we bond over. Not always a bad thing, but now you know to expect a series of essays on unique periods of her life.

There were several issues I had with the writing. Instead of painting a picture of the people in the story, she always used similes with late 80's films and sitcoms that I can barely remember. The jokes seemed angled to people that already knew her, rather then a general audience. The kind of jokes you make with friends you saw a show with and created an ongoing joke, but most of the readers aren't in on it because they don't remember a specific line from a 1970's SNL.

There wasn't a lot linking the essays together.. Stories were funny, but weren't conveyed to their potential. The tone was all over the place; going from a pompous, overly expansive vocabulary for a 6 year old, to short sentenced, simpleminded pot head teen.

She uses a lot of capitals and italics within in the same sentence. It would probably be more interesting to listen to the audio book. She's probably more animated in real life than what she's trying to emphasis in sentences using formatting.

There are a lot of ironic one liners that cracked me up, but as an overall book it reminded me of when you're sitting in a coffee shop and this self absorbed girl is talking about herself. You could stop listening, but you don't. You don't like her, but her cappuccino life is still more interesting than your decaf, bran muffin routine.
Profile Image for Kay.
220 reviews
not-today-satan
January 9, 2018
We are not here to be your "Magical Negro!" Get the fuck out of here with this.
Profile Image for Suzy Soro.
Author 6 books44 followers
April 20, 2013
I wanted to like this book so much. Kelly's tumblr is so funny, funnier than her tweets even. But how interesting a life have you had if you met your husband at 19, had 3 kids, and every "adventure" is something ho-hum that doesn't warrant an entire chapter? Not very.

The endless compliments she gives herself gets old fast. That she's married to a wealthy man gets old fast as well. And at 33, to mention over and over and OVER that you're old is proof that her body may be aging forward but her brain is aging backwards.

I didn't mind the name-dropping as long as there was a story behind it, but when she tweets Common before they board a plane and says, "Are you one of my fans, too? Maybe I'll come by and say hello" it's just all too much. The last two chapters were the only interesting ones in the book. And if you don't know anything about pop-culture: TV shows, movies, songs, bands, you're going to get lost in this book.

She's a good writer, and often turns a wicked phrase, and I predict her second memoir will be much more interesting as she's now moved to LA and is in the real show biz mixing bowl.
Profile Image for Rissa.
1,565 reviews44 followers
May 30, 2017
4.5 ⭐️

Im dying😂. If you want something light, fun and absolutely hilarious this is it!
Profile Image for Wendy.
25 reviews8 followers
April 13, 2013
Wisecracks, shenanigans overpowering

Alberta Twitter sensation Kelly Oxford's debut book, a collection of autobiographical essays, is broadly about taking risks and embracing the imperfection in life.

"A lot of my life sounds like a lie because ... I do a lot of weird and stupid things," she tells her children in the book's introduction.

Far from being unbelievable, though, most of the situations the essays describe are relatively mundane.

As a pre-teen in Edmonton she takes a job as a dishwasher for a day; hijinks ensue. As a 17-year-old she flies to Los Angeles to find a movie star; hijinks ensue. She takes her family to the zoo or Disneyland; more hijinks.

A stay-at-home mom of three, Oxford was plucked from obscurity in Calgary in 2010 in the manner of American Justin Halpern of Sh*t My Dad Says fame.

Her clever observations on Twitter drew hundreds of thousands of followers, attracting the attention of book publishers and Hollywood producers. She and her family have since relocated to Los Angeles, where she is writing TV and movie scripts.

The risks Oxford takes in Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar are generally small. In every anecdote she has a well-padded safety net behind the scenes.

"Dad gave me a hundred dollars, which doubled my available spending money," she writes about her trip to L.A. "As far as I knew, that was plenty; I'd never paid for anything in my life."

And each tale wraps agreeably for Oxford, with few consequences or repercussions. Stories end with her leaving the scene, driving home, flying away, passing by. If she's learned anything from her adventures, the lessons are vague.

With the stakes so low, the book relies on Oxford's wit and storytelling ability. If you're a fan of her tweets, you already know she can craft a bright, pithy one-liner: "I'm the Helen Keller of body language. If Woody Allen and I had dinner, we wouldn't even have to open our mouths."

But an essay is more than a collection of one-liners, and Oxford doesn't quite pull it off.

The book's best writing is that in which she puts aside the biting quips and exposes herself. An essay in which she recounts internships at a brain-injury clinic and seniors' home, for example, is honest and revealing with an edge of humour that keeps it from being syrupy.

The problem? There's not enough of that writing; it's lost among the wisecracks and shenanigans.

Reading the book feels a bit like being cornered at a cocktail party by a garrulous woman who's spent all day cooped up indoors.

At first you're drawn in by her vivacity, laughing along and urging her to go on. But before long, you find yourself glancing surreptitiously at your watch, nodding and smiling, while inching your way toward the door.

Review published in the Winnipeg Free Press, 13 April 2013. http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/arts...
Profile Image for Emily.
194 reviews4 followers
August 3, 2018
I'm really torn between 2 and 3 stars. I have followed Kelly Oxford for about three years on Tumblr and Twitter. I often laugh at her tweets, and her long reads on Tumblr are intriguing (personal favorites include How to Buy a Gun in Canada and Other Rational Things and An Open Letter to the Nurse....etc, the latter of which is in this book). Unfortunately, her blog and tweets don't transfer over to a book as well as I'd hoped.
Some of the childhood vignettes were funny but seemed drawn out. Kelly has written about her childhood on her blog, so I think she has better material that wasn't included here. I honestly didn't find anything about her childhood or teen years spectacularly unique, but her writing style kept it interesting. In the post-secondary time period, I really felt bored and skimmed large chunks of the book. Sorry, not interested in your self-righteous diatribe on how high school was so "beneath" you, but now you're an barely-to-unemployed 18 year old who smokes pot all day. Not exactly riveting. Thankfully, there are only a few essays from that time period.
The book becomes interesting once she meets her husband at the age of 19, marries him, and has children. The best supporting characters are absolutely James and her children; if she writes again in the future, I hope she focuses more on them.

Favorites: the Back-Up Plan, Vegas, How I Met Your Father, Open Letter to the Nurse
As some others have mentioned throughout the internet, I also would suggest that Kelly find an editor who is willing to be frank with her regarding her white privilege and bullshit racist "but I'm not a racist!" defense. She casually uses the term "Magical Negro" and only mentions black people in negative terms. Mentioning race isn't racist (which she uses as her defense), but only mentioning black people when they're fat, doing drugs, or look like a famous black man (even if it is a woman) kinda is.
Profile Image for HarperCollins Canada.
86 reviews180 followers
April 29, 2013
It’s Thursday night. My husband glances over at me as I sit reading.

“Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar?” he reads from the front cover of my book, “What exactly are you learning about?” he asks, accusingly.

“It’s the new book by Kelly Oxford,” I giggle and turn the page. “Don’t worry; it’s actually about telling it like it is. You know, not sugar coating things.”

“Who’s Kelly Oxford?” my husband asks, innocently. I gasp and reluctantly put my book down: this requires action.

I spend the next twenty minutes educating him. “Kelly Oxford’s an internet sensation,” I explain animatedly, “She’s even been re-tweeted by Roger Ebert! And she’s from Alberta!” (Both me and my husband were born and raised in Calgary). I login to Twitter and show my husband a couple of Oxford’s most recent gems.

From April 25th: There should be an app that plays the Mario Bros ‘Game Over’ theme when the guy who cuts you off in traffic eventually crashes.

And from April 22nd: If you don’t look like you’re about to barf while you workout, you’re dead to me.

Oxford’s new book, Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar, is organized as a series of humorous vignettes covering Oxford’s life thus far. We are first introduced to a 6-year-old Oxford as she attempts to organize the neighborhood kids in a re-enactment of Star Wars. We then follow Oxford’s unique journey to adulthood with stops in Los Angeles where a teenaged Oxford searches for her soul mate (Leonardo Dicaprio, of course), and Hornby Island where Oxford commits what she refers to as her “Terrible Horrible.” Intrigued yet? You should be!

Read Keriann's full review at The Savvy Reader here.
5 reviews2 followers
April 15, 2013
This woman is depressingly self-absorbed and dead-pool shallow. I want to remove her children from her home so they won't be exposed to anymore of her immature sexual vulgarity. I could find NOTHING clever about any of the boorishness that dropped from her brain, nothing enlightening, nothing instructive. She bobs from one meaningless episode to another like a wood chip on a wave. She made no effort to write well with plenty of cornball adverbs and comparisons she must have plagiarized from her own middle school essays. Liberal use of f-bombs like that's sooo clever and cool. I can't imagine how any serious reader or even comedy lover could enjoy this garbage. I wish I could get my money back.
Profile Image for Rosanne.
496 reviews23 followers
September 6, 2013
This one proves there is more to writing a book than being a blogger/twitter celeb. Quite repetitive and just not very funny, not sure if the white privilege that his so obvious from her stories is on purpose or not. There is an attempt at self-depreciation type humour that just felt like false modesty.
Profile Image for Kara.
769 reviews384 followers
July 10, 2013
MAYBE I would have enjoyed this if I hadn't tried it on audiobook. Maybe Oxford's attempt at voices and accents really ruined it for me--I guess I won't know.

Listening to this made me really dislike Oxford as a person. She's lazy, conceited, and a little xenophobic. (Seriously, there was a part in the book where she mentions that it's weird that a white guy is friends with all Asians, and that's certainly not the worst thing about race that she says.)

I gave it two instead of one star because she calls Drake "Wheelchair Jimmy" and I <3 Degrassi.
Profile Image for Jen from Quebec :0).
407 reviews111 followers
May 9, 2018
I read this once back in 2013, and then re-read it tonight in one sitting, as I needed to read a book of the HUMOR genre for a reading challenge. It was fast paced and I did chuckle here and there, but this is a wildly mixed bag of writing, veering all over the place in a variety of ways.

Told chronologically, Oxford writes a series of creative non-fiction essays/stories about her life from age 6 to age 33. She covers such things as high school crushes/parties/drunkenness, the dating scene, vocational training, and motherhood. But, like I said- a WILDLY MIXED bag. Some pieces were great and I identified with Oxford completely, reading with a smile and nodding. Other pieces veered into the area of outright bragging and/or examples of Oxford saying horrible things and generally being a terrible person...but she always backed this up by stating something like: "I know, I know- I am such a *terrible* person!"....so I guess that this makes it better?

The 1st half of the book (imo) was the better half, as she describes childhood and its awkwardness very well. It was also extra-interesting to me as she (like 80% of my own family) grew up + lived in the Edmonton area of Alberta, Canada. BUT if you do not give 2 shits about the commonalities I found with her Canadian childhood and my own, then the book would perhaps not be the quick, fast paced read that it was for me.

Some people on the site here seem to HATE this book. I did not find it as bad as a lot of other reviewers seem to, although I CAN understand where they're coming from. I mean, when Oxford's greatest 'life struggles' are cellulite from childbirth and sometimes being bored at home as she has no need to work due to her husband's income, then YEAH- I can understand. I also got annoyed at the (seemingly very) easy life she describes. My advice? Do NOT regard this book as a memoir about overcoming struggles or anything else so 'deep'- think of it as a comedian giving skewed observations on her life via a stand up routine that's been put to paper-It will cause less hard feelings all around. ---Jen from Quebec :0)
Profile Image for Caddiewoodlawn.
15 reviews7 followers
May 3, 2013
I Was Expecting A Female David Sedaris

Went into this book with a certain level of expectation. I think Kelly's twitter and tumblr accounts are unparalleled funny. Definitely some brilliant flash non-fiction.

This book, on the other hand, didn't make me laugh out loud once. Which is what I was expecting and sincerely wishing for, as a lot of reviewers mention reflexive reactions upon reading this book. A lot of the essays had one funny story line that did not really connect or remain interesting for thousands of words. Also, I like my humorists to be dark in their humor but with a heart of gold that shows through. She is not one of those humorists.

It was also really off-putting that literally every story had some reference to others gawking at her looks and/or the fat percentage of her really skinny legs. It came off as, respectively, self-masturbatory and downright offensive. I know body image is a serious concern which affects all women, but I was really hoping that this so-called uproarious, celebratory book would not showcase a gorgeous, utterly brilliant, strong woman constantly picking herself apart. Ugh.

Profile Image for Renee.
Author 2 books68 followers
April 7, 2013
I've followed her on twitter and instagram for some time, so I was excited to learn more about her life. And that's not what this book really offered. It chose a handful of random experiences and tried to draw them out into something longer than it needed to be each time. The stories just weren't that entertaining. The only one that felt like it showed some heart was the story about her taking care of old people for a week or two when she panicked after having her first child that she might have to work someday if her husband died. She met her husband when she was 19 and never had to take care of herself. I couldn't identify, I guess. And I was generally bored with the stories. There was a lot of whining. I think she can write better than this, but maybe it's just not her format.
Profile Image for Margaret.
69 reviews19 followers
April 8, 2013
I am so disappointed in you Oxford!

I love her tweets, her essays on tumblr, I had such high hopes. I didn't laugh during any part of this. I have read the books by handler, fey, and kaling and this didn't even come close with humor, wit, or sincerity. She has a chapter about being an OT assistant working in geriatrics and people with TBI that chapter had some depth but that was about it. So bummed about this because I think Kelly's great not sure why it didn't show in the book
Profile Image for Maria.
1,190 reviews13 followers
September 5, 2015
Rounded down from 1.5.

Narcissistic nattering. Nothing is connected, which, whatever, but this just seems like a series of stories the author created to make herself sound like a cool girl (like the bad kind from Gone Girl). Also, the fat shaming is strong with this one. Kelly Oxford clearly hates fat people.

The book gets that half star because I teared up in one story and laughed out loud in another, although I've already forgotten which ones.
Profile Image for Emily.
8 reviews
March 15, 2014
Ultimately, this author won me over. But, for much of the book, I was having flashbacks to when I used to babysit and the kid would pull out all of her toys one by one and lay them out on the living room floor. Which is to say, there was a lot of unsubtle showing off.

In my opinion, the title suggests a tone that is in no way supported by the content of the book, and I think that is where some of my disappointment is rooted. I guess I was looking forward to something more relatable and less self-congratulatory. Instead of illustrating that no one's life is perfect-which I'm assuming, based on the title, was her intention-the book felt like one really long humble brag.

First, there is the prologue, which is a script of a conversation among Oxford and her three children. The only purpose that I can see for sharing this exchange is to make sure the reader understands that Oxford's kids are really cool and smart, and that that is due to Oxford's cutting-edge parenting. Then, the reader meets a similarly precocious six-year-old Oxford who is attempting to set up a stage production of Star Wars with her peers. This story seems to be included to make sure the reader knows that Oxford, herself, was a really cool and smart child and that she was into Star Wars before you. Then comes the overt and absolutely relentless weed references. I do not at all judge her self-proclaimed (and proclaimed and proclaimed) stoner status, but this kind of bombast, I cannot abide. It was almost enough to make me quit the book. Oxford goes on to describe a bunch of terrible situations that she, largely, chose to be in and a bunch of a bad decisions that she, for the most part, knowingly made. I guess this is the part where her life isn't perfect.

It really isn't until Oxford has a brush with reality (in the chapter when she trains to work in occupational therapy) that she becomes endearing, and then she does in spades. She writes about brain-damaged and elderly patients with what is, by this point, uncharacteristic heart. She speaks about wanting to help these people and knowing that there will never be enough of herself to help them the way she knows she would feel obligated to do if she stayed in the field. Here is the depth the reader has been craving, and, even though the following chapters aren't as deep, Oxford's humanity is not forgotten. When she gets a botched lap dance in Vegas or tells off a cop, it is now clear that good intentions commingle with the bravado and recklessness, so you give her a break. Perhaps she would have done better to flash a little sincerity a little earlier in the book.

Oxford is proof that a smart, pretty girl can get away with a lot. She is inarguably charismatic
and often funny, and she is lucky that she is, specifically, herself because if she were anyone else, I don't think this book would be a thing.
Profile Image for Clementine.
1,763 reviews193 followers
January 3, 2020
Kelly Oxford rose to fame on Twitter with her pithy, clever updates. In this funny memoir, she shares more of her personal stories. Essay topics range from her experiences as a precocious child growing up in suburban Canada to her experiences as a mother.

The stories present in Oxford’s book are loosely chronological, starting with her precocious childhood (these stories are often gratingly obnoxoious) and moving into her young adulthood. The book also deals with Oxford’s experiences with parenthood, and she often takes a no-holds-barred approach to storytelling. This works, sometimes: her voice as a child and a teenager comes across as incredibly entitled (which was the point, I think), and it makes it hard to like her.

The strongest parts of the book are near the end, when Oxford seems to grow into her voice. Standout essays include “How I Met Your Father” and “An Open Letter to the Nurse Who Gave Me an Enema Bottle,” but many of the other stories sort of blend into the background. These are funny, heartfelt, and entertaining.

Of course, the problem here is that Oxford isn’t much of a writer. Her true calling is as a funny voice on Twitter, and what’s disappointing about this collection of essays is that she stays far away from that topic. The most interesting thing about her is her celebrity-persona on the social networking site, and her decision to only briefly mention it feels like a mistake.

Although this is a sometimes funny memoir, it’s also totally forgettable. Recommended to hardcore fans of Oxford or readers looking for a light collection of autobiographical essays, but there’s better stuff out there. A tendency to be a grating personality will alienate some readers.

Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar by Kelly Oxford. Harper Collins: 2013. Electronic copy accepted for review via Edeweiss.
Profile Image for Melanie.
Author 1 book7 followers
March 10, 2015
I wish I would have known more about this book before I picked it up, because then maybe I wouldn't have read it at all. This entire book was a series of narcissistic and selfish stories that felt like large embellishments just for the sake of a laugh - and let me tell you, I don't think I laughed once. I understand that the author was trying to make herself seem like the funniest person in the world, but for me at least, I don't think humor should come through the humiliation of others or the belittlement of complete strangers. I tend to like autobiographical essays and such, but this book just seemed to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to trudge through.
Profile Image for Nikiverse.
274 reviews51 followers
April 24, 2018
Kelly Oxford is afraid of getting fat and is the epitome of white privilege. My mouth literally dropped open when she referred to a black bathroom attendant as her "magical negro."

I laughed at some parts but the attitude throughout the book makes her very unlikable as a human being. She lives in a bubble fo sho.
Profile Image for Michael.
1,295 reviews145 followers
June 23, 2014
Before I started listening Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar, I had no idea who Kelly Oxford was. I was drawn into the (audio) book by the title and that I like to listen to memoirs while working out (in this case swimming laps) since if I get distracted for a moment, I won't necessarily miss a crucial detail that plays a huge role in the resolution of the story.

After spending several hours with Kelly, I have to say that it's highly unlikely we'd be friends. Or that I'd even be one of the millions of people that follow her on Twitter. Maybe she's funny, witty or zany over there, but in this collection of essays, I found her smug and with an over-inflated opinion of herself and her own importance.

It's one thing to help create a mental picture of someone by comparing them to an 80's celebrity icon. It's another for EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the book to get this treatment, ensuring that it goes from being clever to being annoying somewhere around the third or fourth portion of the audio book. It also doesn't help that essay after essay brags on a)her looks (usually done by other people) b)her cleverness (again done others) or c)both.

And for all the time I spent with this memoir (because for some reason I felt like at some point it HAD to get better), I never quite got how or why she chose this as the title for her book or if there's be an essay in there that tied everything together. In fact, it finally occurred to me in fifth or sixth segment that Oxford's books felt more like a collection of blog posts than an actual book of essays with a theme or at least a thread running through it.

And I was fully prepared to give the book a single star until I got to the chapter in which Oxford talks about her going back to school and her internships working with brain-damaged and elderly patients. This chapter helps humanize Oxford and make actually begin to like her. Her reactions, observations and reported interactions actually began to make me see there was more to her than the girl who blew all her money so she could get a free plane ride home from a local charity. (If there's one thing that really started to stick in my craw as the book went along, it's how Oxford's self-absorption never seems to have any consequences for her....or at least any she tells us about).

For that chapter alone, the book rose one star to two.

Other that that, not much to recommend here.
Profile Image for Marjolina.
151 reviews7 followers
April 15, 2013
So I only got this book because it was a $2.99 Kindle deal and I wanted something "light" to read... And yes I laughed a few times at her tweets, so I thought it would be good, but besides her sometimes awesome timing which definitely made me smile a few times, I don't think it's worth the high praise it's getting from most people here. It's a little tedious after a while and she takes some stuff way too far for my taste...
Profile Image for Matthew.
232 reviews26 followers
January 29, 2015
Like lots of folks on Twitter, I follow Kelly Oxford . So when I saw that Edelweiss was offering an Advance Reading Copy of her book, Everything is Perfect When You're A Liar, I requested it ... with more than a little trepidation. Turns out, I shouldn't have been nervous - it's a really good, interesting read.

The reason Oxford has about 430,000 followers on Twitter is that she's funny. Often very funny - and has gotten the attention of some pretty famous folks who retweet her. I know I found her because Roger Ebert retweets her a lot, and there's even a part in her book about the fact that David Copperfield is a big fan of hers on Twitter.

Here's a recent sample:

When do we find out that all this 'coconut water' is just sexy Hawaiian people spit?

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 3, 2013



The thing that made me nervous ... well, there were two things. One, 140 characters isn't necessarily the best gauge for whether someone will be interesting for 350 pages. And two, I've been burned a LOT by biographies/memoirs of comedians lately. Good comedians, like David Cross and Jen Kirkman, write books I can't begin to finish.

But Everything is Perfect When You're A Liar does something smart and interesting - Oxford starts at the beginning, of course, when she was an awkward kid with unearned self confidence (she thinks she should be a famous model, despite huge glasses, bad hair and no sense of fashion) - and then skips over most of the important moments in her life.

There's no, "And then I MADE it as a model!" "And then I got my first boyfriend!" "Here's what it was like to have my babies! All three of them!"

We just skip to a point in her life where that's happened...and it's SO refreshing. Let's be clear - I could give less than two shits about what it was like when a boy asked her out in the eighth grade. Or what it was like to be a model. And Oxford clearly knows that.

Instead, she tells random stories that sewn together provide a good idea of what she's like (spoiler alert - I don't want to be her best friend, she's honest about not always being a terrific person), and some often quite funny moments from her life. Highlights include the David Copperfield story, her experience helping patients with short-term memory brain injuries (and the reason she gets into this field is pitch perfect), as well as her trip to Los Angeles as a 19-year old determined to find a mostly undiscovered Leonardo DiCaprio to make him her boyfriend. Yeah, you read that right - it's funny, trust me.

At some point she's married, and at other points children start popping up. Oxford is one of Twitter's success stories - she's moved her family to Los Angeles from Canada to write for TV and movies and largely was discovered from Twitter. And she deserves it - she is FUNNY, and clever and smart. And her book is all of those things.

Give it a shot, and thanks to Edelweiss for the advance copy!
Profile Image for Giddy Girlie.
278 reviews26 followers
December 11, 2013
Amazon has been recommending this book to me since before it was released (well done, publishers!) and I've stayed away, mainly because I find Oxford funny, but not $27 funny, you know? The ebook was recently dropped to $2.99, so I said what the heck and bought it. Was it worth $3? Eh...

Okay, I know no matter what I say, somebody will call me a hater. But the truth is that there just isn't much to this book. Oxford came to prominence as a Twitter celebrity (whatever that means) and while I think she's generally pretty funny, she just doesn't have a lot to actually write about. It's not like she's famous on Twitter for something noteworthy that she did and this book is telling the story. Instead, it's another publisher cashing in on the celeb du jour and running to get a book on the market ASAP. This book isn't terribly long (I read it pretty quick, despite the eye-rolling) and each chapter is a story about a wacky time in her life. While the instances are sometimes a little funny, for me, I just kept feeling that "you had to have been there" vibe. Maybe if you heard this story over cocktails, you'd laugh your buns off, but when it's dragged out over pages and pages and pages... it loses its punch. I think her writing style tries to set more of a scene than you need for comedy. What might work for another genre doesn't for comedy (telling you what everyone was wearing, exactly where everyone stood, etc.) and those extra details really slowed it down. Like I said, I feel like if you heard the 5 minute version of these stories in real life, you'd laugh your head off. This is where the publishers and editors should have helped, but I suspect this was a rush-to-market book to cash in on someone else's "fame".

I also kind of got pulled out of the stories a few times by time/place references not matching up to reality. Being the same age as the writer, I would immediately recognize certain things and think "we weren't 11 when that movie came out, we were 15" or whatever the example was. I don't know why that messed up chronology pulled me out of the story so much, but it did.

I'm giving it 2 stars because technically the writing isn't "bad" it just isn't my taste. It REALLY could have used some heavy editing, for length, continuity, and humor.
Profile Image for Daniel Shields.
24 reviews1 follower
April 12, 2013
I'm going to be a hard-ass here. Kelly Oxford is hilarious and I found parts of this book more amusing than my average reading material by a long-shot. I laughed at some parts something fierce, and some parts I well didn't.

This book wasn't an autobiography per-say as more of a mash up of funny stories in some attempt at being in a comprehensive order. The reviews made me believe this would be a non stop laugh track, and well, while it was funny, I was underwhelmed, in some cases her humor is best perhaps limited to 140 characters or less, and not in a longer story format. That being said , It was a quick short read and I'd read another Kelly Oxford book, simply because it's not that bad. I'm giving it three stars, simply because to me it's an average middle of the road book.
Profile Image for Allison.
447 reviews83 followers
December 31, 2014
This was just OK. I really liked the beginning. Kelly Oxford was an insane child and the stories are pretty entertaining.

Once she hits her late teens/early twenties, I started to feel like she was stretching the truth a little bit too much. The stories became more and more ridiculous until they were really unbelievable.

The very last essay- about the family trip to Disneyland- I found absolutely hilarious. It was definitely my favorite. Every self-respecting Floridan knows you don't go to Disney from March - October!
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