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The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

3.69  ·  Rating details ·  3,498 Ratings  ·  435 Reviews
Introversion Is a Gift.

This clever and pithy book challenges introverts to take ownership of their personalities...with quiet strength. Sophia Dembling asserts that the introvert’s lifestyle is not “wrong” or lacking, as society or extroverts would have us believe. Through a combination of personal insights and psychology, The Introvert’s Way helps and encourages introve
Paperback, 198 pages
Published December 4th 2012 by TarcherPerigee (first published 2012)
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Dec 28, 2012 rated it it was amazing
"I have to admit, there were times over the course of my life...when even I wondered if maybe I were some kind of coldhearted snob. Why was I so reluctant to go to parties and why did I want to leave them shortly after arriving? Why did I get annoyed if a date with a friend turned into a group outing? Why was I so picky, picky, picky about who I spent time with? Why did weekly check-in phone calls from friends get on my nerves? Why did gregarious people cause be a back away slowly? Why did I lik ...more
This is a nice, peppy book that seems designed to make introverts feel better about themselves. At least, it made me feel better.

Dembling, who writes a blog for Psychology Today, delves into research about the differences between extroverts and introverts. I especially appreciated the information on Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), and I could relate to a lot of the examples she shared. She also gave advice on ways introverts can manage talkative people and noisy environments.

If you identify as
Jul 04, 2013 rated it it was ok
Shelves: real-life
Chapter 27: "Fact 1: Some People Are Boring. Fact 2: You Are Not Obligated to Listen to Them."

This book is boring. Dembling writes about introversion almost exclusively from within her own experience of that trait. There's a sprinkling of science, but mostly The Introvert's Way is a memoir of Dembling's own life as an introvert.

Unfortunately, the type of introvert she is happens to be almost the exact opposite from the type of introvert I am. I found some of her writing helpful or recognizable:
Apr 16, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I wish I can quote almost half of the book. Sophia Dembling's The Introvert's Way: Living a quiet life in a noisy world was sharp, witty, and an easy read with a touch of research, psychology, insights from introverted people around the world, and her perspective of introversion, which is the heart of this book. Now, to begin with, I have been hunting this book for quite a long time already and I must admit it was such a struggle before I finally purchased it with a huge grin on my face. But I m ...more
Heidi The Hippie Reader
The Introvert's Way is a collection of Dembling's blog posts about introversion. It's engaging, but she writes as the royal "we" which I found distracting. No one has the authority to speak for introverts as a group. Right, introverts? *crickets*

I loved how she cleared up some rather major misunderstandings that I've been running into my entire adult life, like this one: "When we want to, not-shy introverts can nut up to the task of being charming and witty. We can meet new people. We can start
Dec 08, 2012 rated it it was amazing
'The Introvert's Way' makes a nice companion to Susan Cain's 'Quiet', another book about the glory of being an introvert, though it is also great as a stand-alone title. (I only mention it in conjunction with the latter because I read and loved them both) Dembling doesn't make the case that introversion is better or worse than being extroverted. Rather, she clearly illustrates the benefits and drawbacks of both. I found myself nodding in agreement through most of the book, as well as confronting ...more
Dec 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
My extrovert wife and our two extrovert sons bought this for me for Christmas almost as a joke. There is a lot of truth in what the author says: there is nothing wrong with introverts. My introvert son gets to read read it next. Then maybe my annoyingly extrovert mother and brother.

There is one thing I did not like. If we use the Myers-Briggs model, there are eight flavors of introvert, and the differences between being an I and an E are as important as the differences between being S-N, T-F or
Jan 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
4.5 stars. I got this from my library, but this is the type of book that I will be buying and rereading so I can highlight specific passages that really spoke to me. The author did a fantastic job of addressing every aspect and type of introversion. No one got left out! A must-read for anyone who even has traits of introversion, you will learn so much more about yourself!
Mar 22, 2013 rated it really liked it
**Way to Be an Introvert**

The Table of Contents is what sold me on this book. In and off itself, it captures the challenges, quirks, and perks of being an introvert:
• Introverts Unite
• What Would Jung Say?
• The Great American Racket
• Science Says We’re Not Necessarily Shy
• Born to Be Mild
• Quiet Riot
• Just Intense Enough
• The Slow Train of Thought
• The Internal Flame
• What Quiet Says
• The Fertile Void
• I Like to Watch
• Energy In, Energy Out
• “We Didn’t Know You Were an Introvert, We Just Thought
Jan 12, 2014 rated it liked it
This is the second book I've read on the subject of introversion. I was lead to this book through Amazon recommendations after I read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. I loved that book and I always knew myself to be an introvert but had never done any real reading about what exactly makes someone an introvert. Susan Cain's book was marvelous and I found myself within those pages over and over.

Sophia Dembling's book is not quite as substantial as
Terri Jacobson
Feb 19, 2014 rated it really liked it
Introverts have gotten a bad rap over the years. Extroverts are supposedly more creative, outgoing, personable, and quality team players. This book debunks many of these myths. Introverts have very strong and positive personal qualities, and this book points out many of them. It offers numerous examples and insights into the positive nature of introversion. Being an introvert myself, I found this book a real eye-opener and very empowering. It has helped me to embrace my own nature and see it as ...more
May 16, 2013 rated it it was ok
Repetitive and the content only touches on the surface of the subject. I felt that the writer was indulging herself too much on her experience like a broken record.

Here's an example:

"I am a flâneur. Many of my best moments of travel have involved sitting and watching. In New York, I spend hours in Central Park, drifting from one bench to another to watch the passing scene. I did the same sitting alone under the long summer sun in the Vigeland sculpture garden in Oslo. In Venice, my husband and
Feb 08, 2013 rated it really liked it
I was introduced to this book after reading an article by Sophia Dembling in the Wall Street Journal on December 14, 2012 entitled "All I Want for Christmas Is...A Little Space," so I picked up a copy of "The Introvert's Way" in hopes of learning more about introverts like myself. I was not disappointed.

Ms. Dembling immediately dives into shattering the common misconceptions on introverts. Distinguishing shyness from introversion, she states "shy people are scared of socializing. Introverts just
Jeff Kelleher
Mar 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Short, sharp, and funny.

Once in a rare while, you come across a book that you can give to family, friends, spouses, or lovers and say, "If you really want to understand me, read this." Most of the time, expecting them to actually read the thing is an imposition. They had better have a large investment in you.

Here, the book is such quick and funny reading that the imposition is slight. The payoff, though, is large. They will stop feeling offended when you just want to closet yourself and read; st
Sep 01, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2017
Feest van herkenning. Toch houd ik niet zo van dit soort boeken. Na 3 hoofdstukken heb ik altijd het gevoel dat er in herhaling gevallen wordt. Zo van: " Ja, nu weet ik het wel..."
Jan 09, 2013 rated it liked it
I've been reading Sophia Dembling's Introvert's Corner blog post for about a year, and I like her take on introversion. This is a breezy book about living a full life according to your own standards, not by an extrovert-rewarding society's standards. There are plenty of anecdotes and tips about carving out me-time or socializing without exhaustion which are useful. There's also a lot of empowerment if you're just starting to assert yourself as an introvert.
As someone who's been upfront about my
Jun 11, 2015 rated it liked it
I recently discovered that I was an introvert about a year ago, this realization changed my life. I always been accused as the shy kid or the one that was antisocial cause I did not talk as often as everyone else. Most of my friends are extroverts, thus they assumed that I was arrogant or something that can change if I was outgoing. Only a selected number of them understood what introversion was, the others I keep justifying why I did not feel the need to go to parties to have a good time or tal ...more
Apr 29, 2016 rated it it was ok
Shelves: introversion
I would not read this instead of Susan Cain's Quiet, but rather in additions to it. Almost any book about introversion is worth the read for me, and this was no exception. At times I was annoyed because the author made sweeping statements about extroversion, which were based on her type of introversion. The book also read more like an advice column than an academic survey of introversion. However, when she did survey some of the academic work associated with introvert related traits, e.g. the Bi ...more
Karen Blinn
Jan 09, 2013 rated it liked it
Since the publication of Quiet in 2012, introverts have started speaking up for themselves in numerous ways, including blogs and more books. This book by Dembling has the subtitle of "Living quiet in a noisy world". I very much enjoyed the first one-third or so of the book. As I read further, however, it dawned on me that the book is more than likely a re-working of entries from the author's blog. She focuses on introverts and parties as well as introverts' dislike of talking on the telephone i ...more
Juliana Es
Jun 09, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2013, ebook, i-own
Insightful, engaging, enlightening.
I never realised that I was (and still am) an introvert, until a psychology test (conducted by a professional), proved it. Since then, I had a big question mark about introversion, and this book answers a lot of doubts.
Feb 07, 2013 rated it it was ok
This book was . . . meh. It had a few good points, several good chapters, but over-all it droned a bit about the same things. I would give it two and a half stars if Goodreads did half stars. Nonetheless, there's no need wasting any more time detailing something I thought was average, at best.
Oct 06, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: on-my-shelf, 2016
Am I going to read this book again and take notes? Yes.
Is 95% of my notes going to consist of the word 'same'? Also yes.
Apr 26, 2017 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: in-2017-gelezen
Ook al heeft dit boek zeer herkenbare elementen vond ik de schrijfstijl zo tergend dat voor mij de boodschap van het boek niet goed overkwam. Ontzettend veel wij vs. zij en veel over één kam scheren en veroordelend. Daar hou ik echt niet van. 2 sterren omdat desondanks veel herkenbaar was.
Nov 27, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology
Thank you Sophia Dembling ,thank you very much for writing this book . I think it's about time that we speak out about these stupid stereotypes and made up labels.funny,Honest and informing specially for those who are in a relationship with an introvert.
so as for the book :

NO ,I don't envy extroverts that's absurd; I'm definitely not shy , while by nature I'm quiet, I have no problem talking to an individual or a big group of people, in fact public speaking is my favorite activity however I enj
Apr 18, 2013 rated it it was amazing
A great book for introverts. No you're not shy, you're not lonely, you're not weak. You're not less than extroverts just because you like your own company. That's all right. This book can also help extroverts understand why introverts act the way they do. Highly recommended. I plan to read this again. I might even buy my own copy instead of just reading the library one.
Chapters are short and include: Science says we're not necessarily shy; Born to be mild; Introverts are not failed extroverts; I
Mar 30, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Where has this book been all my life! While parts of this book don't pertain, so much of it describes me exactly, that it is scary. I thought being a girl, a middle child or being left handed dominated my personality, but being an introvert and a pretty extreme one at that has affected my life way more then any of those other facets of my personality. Wow! I can't even begin to quote all of the passages that touched me. Truly a must read for introverts and should be high priority reading for ext ...more
Feb 24, 2013 rated it it was ok
This has some funny paragraphs, but is nothing like as good as "Quiet". It was repetitive and the author seems to assume that all introverts are like her. I found her negative and quite cross with extroverts. Favourite bit - things introverts like: walking, reading, coffee shops, long meals with a good friend, having the house to themselves, knitting, art galleries and museums. Things introverts hate: karaoke, audience participation, costume parties, practical jokes.
May 18, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fictie
Ik weet nog niet zo lang dat ik introvert ben, en ik wou hier eens meer over lezen.

Dit is eerder een snel lezend, gemakkelijk boek, maar het gaf me toch wel enige inzichten. Vooral over de misopvatting die ik had over introvertie. Maar blijkbaar zijn introverten zeker niet allemaal stille muurbloempjes ;-)
Kevin Orth
Aug 20, 2015 rated it really liked it
As much memoir as treatise on introversion. Written very much from an anecdotal, personal experience, self exploration perspective. If you are looking for a well written, first person reflection this is a great read. If you are looking for a research project with lots of theory, broad study about introversion - you will need to look elsewhere.
Aug 23, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I liked this more than Quiet, by Susan Cain. Dembling's account seemed more straightforward and kind. It's not about fitting in in a world that is partially full of extroverts, but about being comfortable as you are.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is friends with another person, whatever their personality.
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“One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgemental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are.” 74 likes
“What is a friend? We probably all have our own definitions. For me, it's someone I don't feel alone with. Who doesn't bore me. Whose life I connect with and who takes reciprocal interest in my life. It's someone I feel comfortable turning to when I need to be talked off the ledge, and for whom I am glad to return the favor.
Just a few people in my life fit that bill.”
More quotes…