Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex*

by David Reuben

You weren't afraid to ask for it-and now it's back, in an updated edition with more than 95% new material!

With more 30 million copies in print in over fifty countries, this #1 bestselling classic is the most popular book on human sexuality of all time-and with good reason. Dr. David Reuben's frank, compassionate, often humorous language-backed with solid, up-to-the-minute medical and scientific research-puts readers at ease, allowing them to explore and improve their own sexuality in amazing new ways. In this extraordinary new edition, presented in an accessible Q&A format and revised to include today's hottest topics, Dr. Reuben sheds astounding new light on:

* Sexual intercourse , masturbation and other sexual acts
* Impotence, frigidity, and other sexual dysfunctions - their various causes and how they're treated
* Birth control - all the forms on the market and how well they work
* Sexually transmitted diseases - what they are and how to avoid them
* Menopause - hot flashes, hormones, and how to thrive during this change of life
* "September sex" - why we need it more as we age and how to enjoy sex despite certain physical constraints
* Alternative lifestyles, infidelity, plastic surgery for the genitalia, and much more

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Psychology, Science, Self Help, Reference, Health

400 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1969

About the author

David Reuben, M. D., is a Physician and Surgeon with a specialty in Psychiatry. He graduated from the University of Illinois College of Medicine and served his residency at the Cook County Hospital in Chicago. After internship and residency he served as a Medical Officer with the U.S. Air Force before establishing his own medical offices. He has practiced medicine in Illinois, and California.
His books have been New York Times best-sellers and have been published in more than fifty countries in over fifty languages.
Dr. Reuben is especially known for his first Number One best-seller, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask™, that reached approximately one hundred fifty million readers around the world.
His other eight books have revolutionized scientific concepts of good health in many ways. For example, The Save-Your-Life Diet™ transformed the dietary habits in America as well as in many countries around the world. Just check your supermarket shelves to see how many products now showcase their fiber content.

Reviews

[Xenomantid · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh, where to begin with this heap of libelous garbage?

I'll be reviewing the first edition of the book because it was the one I snatched up as a teenager after finding it in the free section of a used bookstore. As an asexual young person eager to learn about the obsession that the other ninety-nine percent of the human population harbored, I thought that Reuben's well-known bestseller would serve its promised purpose. The introduction asserted that no one could "live up to his human potential" without having an active, healthy sex life, which should have been my first hint that the author was writing with an agenda in mind. I don't know what the more recent edition says about transsexuals, and, for personal reasons, I don't want to know.)

Well, it's been over forty years, and Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex has become more and more risible as more time passes. From start to finish, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex is a transparent attempt to convince the reader to practice vanilla-flavored marital intercourse to the exclusion of all other forms of sex. The descriptions of the male and female sexual organs, as simple anatomy lessons, are exempt. The chapter titled "Male Homosexuality" is particularly notorious for insisting that gay men are prone to anonymous hookups in public bathrooms, cannot live together lovingly ("The bitterest argument between husband and wife is a passionate love sonnet compared to the average conversation between a butch and his queen"), can be "cured" of their homosexuality by visiting psychiatrists, and, most bizarrely, get pleasure from penetrating themselves with foreign objects such as fruit and shot glasses. The "Prostitution" chapter is similarly defamatory--it is the only section of the book that discusses female homosexuality, and asserts that the lesbians who become prostitutes do it to take the money of the men they despise and infect them with diseases. After all, who needs factual information when you can have the wise doctor confirm widely held prejudices? (He must be all-knowing, he's a doctor!) Reuben bestows his blessing upon oral sex between a man and a woman but cautions them that they may have "emotional problems" if they prefer it to intercourse. "The ideal sex act" adds procreation to pleasure and an emotional connection, according to him. Yes, he actually uses the phrase "ideal sex act." Plato may or may not be proud. Modern readers will also note that the book is totally innocent of the concepts of fisting, lesbian sadomasochism, and heterosexual anal sex.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex does offer some entertainment value: the "interviews" from medical clients who are obviously the author's inventions provide most of the laughs. A prostitute visited in the daytime by a stingy john apparently dealt with him by saying, "What do you think this, the kiddie matinee? You can come over here for half price but you only get half a screw!" If you wish that your sex manuals of choice had the tone of judgmental sitcoms, this book may be to your liking. Just put "Reproduction" from Grease 2 on repeat, and you'll be all set for an evening of stern lectures against almost every conceivable sex act. Otherwise, stay very, very far away from this thinly disguised propaganda.

ETA: I read the 1999 edition, and--if you can possibly imagine this--it is even worse than the original. The updated edition must have been written for the same people who were teenagers and young adults when the original was published, because there is no way that these attitudes would pass without scorn from '90s youths. One has to imagine the author getting a letter from his publisher:

Dear Mr. Reuben,

We reaped great rewards from your runaway bestseller once upon a time, and we would like to see you repeat the formula. Unfortunately, thirty years have passed since we last published your authoritative tome, and our audience of vanilla heterosexual Baby Boomers is largely no longer scared of homosexuality. Would you please find another group or two to defame at length? We suggest painting sadomasochists and transsexuals as this generation's bogeymen.

Also, we'd appreciate it if you barely toned down your anti-gay attitude. You can still portray gay people as crusaders for anonymous public hookups as long you don't prescribe psychological "cures" for the orientation itself. What's more, you can leave the prostitution chapter virtually untouched, because our readers' contempt for hookers is boundless.

We look forward to seeing your new efforts.

Sincerely,
Bantam

Why, oh, why did I decide to buy this book at the used bookstore one day and not Sex Lives of the U.S. Presidents?

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was fairly forward thinking for its day for some things like masturbation: "The only thing harmful about masturbation is the guilt drummed into children." It also appears to support greater access to abortions for pregnant women and discusses many varieties of birth control.

But it's take on homosexuality is appalling. Here are a few of the statements in the book:

"One of the main features of homosexuality is promiscuity...The homosexual must constantly search for the one man, the one penis, the one experience, that will satisfy him. Tragically there is no possibility of satisfaction because the formula is wrong."

In regards to those gay men who live together happily for years: "The bitterest argument between husband and wife is a passionate love sonnet by comparison with a dialogue between a butch and his queen. Live together? Yes. Happily? Hardly."

On gender reassignment surgery: "...Two homosexuals who had undergone these operations five years previously died of cancer. Ironically they succumbed to cancer of the breast--their new femae breasts. Ironicallyl these men who wanted to be women died of a woman's disease. that's as close as they came." Seriously? LOTS of men get breast cancer. LOTS. Here are some estimates from the American Cancer Society for breast cancer in men in the US for 2014:

About 2,360 new cases of invasive breast cancer in men will be diagnosed
About 430 men will die from breast cancer
For men, the lifetime risk of dying from breast cancer is about 1 in 3,333 slightly more likely than dying from natural forces (heat, cold, storms, quakes, etc.) is 1 in 3,357.

Back to the book:

"All [homosexuals] have this in common: the primary interest is the penis, not the person."

"Those who combine homosexuality with sadistic and masochistic aberrations are among the cruelest people who walk the earth...they filled the ranks of Hitler's Gestapo and SS." However, although the author thinks heterosexual S&M fetishists are childish, they are just "harmless."

After describing very promiscuous and impersonal behavior (including a glory hole), the question is asked whether all homosexual contacts are as impersonal as that. The answer is, "No. Most are much more impersonal." (And why is impersonal sex and promiscuous behavior automatically wrong? It's not like heterosexuals don't do those things.)

Transvestites are listed under perverts.

For someone so forward thinking in some areas, to be incredibly backward about gay issues, is disturbing. It was only a few years after the book was written that psychiatrists removed homosexuality as a disease in and of itself from the DSM. Considering how many years it takes to publish a new edition of that book, there had to have been a lot of talk at that time about homosexuality being normal.

[Brian · Rating 1 out of 5]

Homophobic crap. The author seems to think all gays are slimy perverts incapable of romantic love, who are only interested in sleazy back alley intercourse with anonymous partners, and that lesbians (who were written up under the chapter on prostitution), are incapable of giving another woman an orgasm, and that transgender women are 'mutilated female impersonators.' Oh, and a good psychiatrist can remove those disgusting homosexual urges. Also, brothels are farmhouses in the country and prostitutes only enter into the business because they enjoy it.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got this book at Op House for 20 cents. It's for my vintage sex-ed collection! I usually enjoy reading out-of-date, inaccurate books about sex. But this one was too homophobic and misogynistic to be truly entertaining. I would say it's an interesting cultural relic, but sadly I think there are a lot of people walking around who believe the horrible things in this book, and we are all suffering for it.

[Smith Nickerson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this right when it initially was published. Fortunately, I was able to get copies of Kinsey and Masters and Johnson long before. David Reuben may have bought some knowledge to a society that had a lot of hang ups about sex and sexuality but he was not to kind to the Gay community. They are pretty much referred to as freaks.

[Marsha Altman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read for work. In additional to being racist, sexist, and homophobic, some of the information is medically incorrect.

[T'leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rated this book for the humor value. I read the thing cover to cover the day I got it. Reuben has some awesomely misinformed sections in it. He takes a stance on homosexuality as being sexually depraved and his descriptions of how gay men act had me cracking up. His suggestion for the best spermicidal douche was unbearably funny. Some of what he says rings true, but mostly it is an amusing glance into society's view on the topic in the late sixties. Do not read it to educate yourself about all things related to sex. Read it as a history lesson and/or for it's absurdities. No wonder Woody Allen made a spoof about it.

[Dave Cullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still a classic. At least as a record of the 1970s

[Alger Landau · Rating 3 out of 5]

Woody Allen se la voló con ésta cinta. Es una comedia brillante, absolutamente imprescindible, no sólo en la filmografía del cineasta neoyorquino, sino en la historia de la comedia estadounidense. De chusca inteligencia, Woody Allen nos muestra una serie de… episodios, o sketches, donde se reúnen varias de las dudas más básicas de la sexualidad humana, planteadas en maneras irónicas, situaciones satíricas y diálogos geniales. Yo no sabía que Woody Allen se había basado realmente en un libro teórico. Más bien un libro de consulta. Éste libro con el mismo nombre, fue escrito a finales de los 60 por el psiquiatra californiano David Reuben. Traducido a más de 50 idiomas, se convirtió en un libro clave de la Revolución Sexual en América. Woody Allen se sirvió de ésta material para hacer una de las mejores parodias que se han realizado sobre un tema, digamos, “serio”. Todos sabemos que la sexualidad es quizás el tema que más se presta a suposiciones, teorías, memes y demás invenciones y ocurrencias. Pues bien, éste libro me resultó sumamente entretenido. Los ejemplos del Dr. Reuben son, desde luego, parodiables en el buen sentido. Sus explicaciones no me parecieron un sermón más para adolescentes calientes. Creo que es un libro consciente de que la curiosidad sexual es realmente una hermosa ingenuidad. El libro es ingenuo, sus ejemplos son cómicos, aunque el Dr. Reuben nunca haya tenido esa intención. Y vaya que no, ya que no le gustó la película, sabiendo que Woody Allen la hacía por una pequeña venganza hacia él. ¿Por qué? Pues bien, durante una gira de su libro, el Dr. Reuben apareció en el programa de Johnny Carson. Éste preguntó “¿El sexo es sucio?”, a lo que Reuben contestó con una frase de Woody: “Lo es cuando lo estás haciendo bien”. Woody lo tomó a mal y salió algo muy bien. ¿Qué quería el Dr. Reuben? Es un libro muy chistoso. Y en fin, con la sutileza que sólo Woody Allen sabe marcar entre el sarcasmo y lo chusco, y sin el tedio de los libros de consulta, éste tema en particular, se vuelve un excelente tiempo de calidad entre tú y la curiosidad. El libro está chistoso, échenle un vistazo

[Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

You don't want to know how I acquired this book.
That being said, I do have some things to say about it. It is very informative when it comes to matters of anatomy and seems to be inclined, like so much of the work done by psychologists in the sixties, to want to free heterosexual couples from the constraints of imposed chastity and prudishness.
However, if you are gay, lesbian, transexual, bi or even remotely questioning, or even if you have proclivities that may be considered outside the norm, this book will be far less helpful. Lesbians are not admitted to even in passing, and gay men are diagnosed with perversity, with the antiquated notion that "they're looking for the perfect penis, but they will never find the perfect penis because the perfect penis is actually their own penis which means that they need a vagina".
In other words, this book is dated. Mine it for what it's worth as far as anatomical information, but take its petty judgments with a teaspoon of salt.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this in my parent's bedroom when I was 14 years old. I read it in secret, and replaced it where I had found it.
I often thought afterward, that it was left out in the open for a reason :}
It opened up a world that I ddin't even know existed, and answered questions about a subject that noone ever really sat down and explained to me.
Reading it at that age was probably NOT the most healthy thing that could have happened. Teenage hormones and urges were just starting to hit and the knowledge the book gave me did not help control them.
However in the pre-sex education era... with parents who never spoke about such things..perhaps it was more helpful to know.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

The worst "factual" book ever. Nothing in it is ever cited as an actual study but ridiculous scenarios are given and they make for some good entertainment. Written in the 60's, it's dated and full of racist and sexist stereotypes... which are funny if you aren't overly serious. It preaches about the usage of Coca Cola as the best form of birth control and how STD's are spread to the mayor's daughter from men of color. This flea market find sparked a fascination with collecting books that contain sociological information about different eras through dated materials about then current etiquette.

[Ankur · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy to read, contains a lot of information you may have not known about sex - regarding menopause, impotence, masturbation, STDs - you're bound to learn many new things.

[Therese · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was revolutionary for it's time. If you real the 1969 version...you're gonna laugh. And get mad. And be puzzled. Then you might pick up the re-issue from 1999, were the author adds new science and new society to his opinions of the day ("homosexuals are miserable human beings" being absent from the reprint). Have BOTH on your shelf, history lover. Let it show you how "facts" are so terribly pliable, because the 1999 version is already improper for our era, leaving out huge swaths of the Queer population. This isn't a great book. It's a historical occurrence worth studying.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this down-to-earth, medically and emotionally accurate exploration of sex, the greatest activity in the history of the world.

The only chapter I didn't appreciate was the one on male homosexuality. It was outdated and just silly at points. For instance, it read that no one really knows why the gays do what they do. It implied that they simply choose that lifestyle. No, it's not genetic. No, it's not emotional. What poppycock.

Otherwise, this was an excellent read. I really liked the chapter on prostitutes, especially the Lezzies. September (older) sex, menopause, masturbation, basic anatomy, and libido were all covered in depth in a question-answer format. I recommend this book to anyone who has questions about sex. Who doesn't? Inevitably, they are covered in this volume. Answering your own questions will certainly improve your performance and enjoyment of life.

As a final note, may I also recommend The Guide to Getting it On? It is a wonderful way to gain resources on creative positions. Enjoy!

[Janice · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am happy to say that of the three or four books I've ever thrown out in my life because of hideous content (and not because of bad koolaid stains or a puppy chewing it beyond legibility), two have been copies of this book. And one was not mine. I realize now that the other person may have had it as an example of what stupid things people can say when they pretend they know a topic they know little about, but at the time, I did not think it through. And, yes, I felt guilty throwing away someone else's property. But the idea that some poor souls might read his nauseating crap about lesbians and believe it (they just need a man, which is clear when they use two-sided dildos, as an example) was worse than the property-rights guilt.

In short, I do not like this book.

[carl theaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

When this book first came out it was a must read for our
gang working at the mall cafe. As teenagers it was a wonder,
no one had told us this stuff before, and little was
available in this contemporary format - just buying
a book at a bookstore.

I was reading it on break by the mall fountain, hunkered
down so the cover wouldn't be embarrassing. An older
girl stopped (20ish) she asked me what are you reading?
you are so intent. When I showed her the book she
got a big laugh out it!

[auie · Rating 4 out of 5]

very informative. found this in my grandfather's bookshelf when i had nothing better to do. i was in highschool then. so even before sex education i knew that rhythm method is not that effective because a woman's cycle changes, and so is withdrawal. i learned a lot about the changes i my body was going thru and really helped me to deal with it.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

Got this book from my father when I was 13, to substitute "the talk." Ridiculously obsolete, features less research and informative text and more a collection of cartoonish anecdotes from caricatured people. Barely enough to even be a relic of its time; in the height of the sexual revolution, this book doesn't do much justice to human sexuality.

[Eric Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was never given, "The Talk" but instead I was given "The Book". First it was the Time Life, Life Cycle Library, then I grabbed this when Walt and Steph were done with it and read it cover to cover. Kind of dry, but informative, and I was just hungry enough for accurate info on the subject at the time that I read it nearly all at once.

[Suzlizjohnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

My mother literally blew her top when she found out I was reading this book at the age of just turned 18! She was apparently typical mother who wouldn't dream of uttering the word sex, never mind talking about it!! I found it to be very informative and answered most all my questions except one ( I can't remember what that question was..)

[Red Phoenix · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yep,found this book in my brother's room. Learned lots of things that didn't makes sense until I was older. Some images still haunt me... but at least it made thinking and questioning about sex less taboo. Not a great informational book because of all the misinformation. Still, it shaped a lot of young lives back when it came out.

[Joanne G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't remember anything inside this book, but I do have a story about it that still makes me smile decades after the fact. My best friend's family was moving, and her father found this book under her bed. She was so embarrassed, but all he did was ask if she had learned anything!

This was the go-to book of my generation. We didn't have Internet!

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fun to read, mainly due to its dated 'facts' and outrageous claims. I especially enjoyed the small section where lesbian is equated with prostitute and the amount of female patients bursting into tears and messing up their makeup when divulging delicate issues was priceless.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

No one should take this book seriously anymore because it is so outdated. So much has changed in modern sexuality that hardly any of what the author claims is true these days. Still an interesting read.

[Alicedewonder · Rating 5 out of 5]

OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT'S ONLY IN ENGLISH! THE AMERICAN TITLE IS EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX: but were afraid to ask. DR, REUBEN ROCKED THE SIXTIES WITH THIS ONE, AND 20 YEARS LATER MY 16 YEAR OLD SON LEARNED FROM HIS EFFORTS. BRING BACK THE ENGLISH!

[Casey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't think this book aged well. It seems very quaint. I find The Guide to Getting it On more fun and more informative.

[Sachin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely informational and extremely witty. Terrific.

[Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a young lad I got all of my misinformation about sex from this book.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember finding this behind some other books on my parent's shelf when I was a youngin'.