new passages - Mapping Your Life Across Time

by Gail Sheehy

Excellent Book

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction, Sociology, Personal Development, Book Club

Hardcover

Published January 1, 1995

About the author

Gail Sheehy is an American writer and lecturer, most notable for her books on life and the life cycle. She is also a contributor to the magazine Vanity Fair.

Her fifth book, Passages, has been called "a road map of adult life". Several of her books continue the theme of passages through life's stages, including menopause and what she calls "Second Adulthood", including Pathfinders, Spirit of Survival, and Menopause: The Silent Passage. Her latest book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman, reveals a hidden cultural phenomenon: a surge of vitality in women's sex and love lives after age fifty. She has also authored a biography of Hillary Rodham Clinton titled Hillary's Choice. Her novel Middletown, America is being adapted as a TV miniseries. (from Wikipedia)

Reviews

[Christine Rebbert · Rating 2 out of 5]

My therapist recommended this book as a resource -- having just hit the big 6-5, trying to come to terms with getting older (who'da thunk?!) and what's next... She herself had not read it in quite some time -- the book came out in 1995. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME with this book...

A LOT has changed since 1995! In 1995, Baby Boomers were just about to hit their 50's, and as we BB'ers have done in so many other areas, we have been rewriting the book every day since then. This SO needs revision -- like, oh, yeah, the hormone replacement therapy that is touted here as giving us women our vim and vigor back has now been found to kill us!

The book is replete with stories that were impossible to identify with. Everyone here approaches aging slim and rich, it seemed; oh, would that we could... A guy has a heart attack and, realizing his mortality, quits his job to go paint in Tuscany -- yeah, that's an option for us all... An aging woman goes to the Amazon once a year to search out new medicinal plants. There really was nothing concrete to hold on to... And as the years play out in the book, each decade gets even shorter shrift -- 60's, 70's, 80's -- just platitudes... I wonder how old Sheehy herself was when she wrote this, and what her take on being 65 would be today!

Turns out, my therapist was very embarrassed to have recommended this book...

[Erwin Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

New Passages by Gail Sheehy is a book of ideas about growing older. It looks at the First Adulthood as a time when people spread their wings. They are competitive, daring, and strive to make their mark in society. It’s a time when women are most fertile. It’s therefore best for families to have children before they are older. During this period there is focus on one’s career development. Before this period it was only the predominantly white males who labored in the workforce. Presently it’s men and women who are the breadwinners. Women have come a long way since the 1950s, and many were able to obtain a college education. This achievement has made them especially competitive. They have just become the backbone of their household, while supporting their husbands, and family members at home.
In the Second Adulthood that starts at age 45, men and women are becoming more established in their careers. This is the time that unexpected events begin to happen. It could be sickness, divorce, loss of a spouse, remarriage, or being laid off from work. It becomes a challenge to adjust to these setbacks, so some workers have to switch gears, and find new vocations. Families change into non-traditional ones with blended households. Later in life, women become independent and more assertive after menopause. At this time in their 60s they might have the responsibility for caring for an ailing spouse, and even their own parents.
People are living longer. In later life Sheehy talks about those who begin new hobbies, travel, or decide to live alone. The author described how some women become sexually liberated. Wise women mentor younger ones. Their fulfillment is enhanced by their adoption of new approaches to life. Some on this quest lead them to be more spiritual. Women become members of groups that meet to support other women. They discuss issues concerning the dreams, and future of their lives.
The book New Passages is however dated, since it was published in 1995. It gives information about the benefits of estrogen for women that have since been known to cause cancer. Sheehy seems to focus on the well-to-do in the society. Individuals the writer used in her case studies were people of the upper class and professionals. The work would have been more appealing if it had surveyed a broader cross section of respondents. Any mention about blue-collar workers was rather limited.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Gail Sheehy's earlier book "Passages" years ago so when I saw this - clearly a sequel - at a Library sale I picked it up. Even though it was written in the mid-90s there was loads here of relevance to me, a baby boomer, beyond midlife now and heading into the next phase. Gail is intelligent and articulate, savvy and astute, well-read and sharp as a tack - with all these skills she interviewed hundreds of people, compiled data from hundreds of surveys and did a thorough job of researching the fascinating idea that for any one of us our adulthood contains a string of fairly predictable passages from one stage of life to another.

I found it very affirming and also absolutely fascinating, especially the recounting of her interviews with the average and not-so-average (read wealthy) Joes and Janes of the many studies that contributed to this body of work. It's a bit like a psychology book, only much more readable. If you're young yet, don't bother, but if you're looking ahead and the road looks shorter than the one unspooling out behind you, then it's a great investment of time. I read it in bits and pieces over several months and the perspective I gained was well worth it.

[Agnes Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm just sorry I didn't read this book back in 1995 or so when it was first published. But the reality is probably that it wouldn't have meant as much to me then as it does now. I read Gail Sheehy's "Passages" some twenty or more years ago. It is fascinating to see her aging herself and continuing her research on life passages. Her thesis that because people are living longer and now enjoying a whole second Adulthood, is illustrated by the studies in the book and the interviews and group meetings she reports on. For myself, having reached 60 years old, still working full time and looking to do so for another 3 to 8 years or so; it's fascinating to read about the people who have re-invented themselves in the later years. It's also inspiring!

[Therese Gilardi · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting insights however i could have done without all of the self-congratulatory baby boomer backslapping.

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read Gail Sheehy's original 'passages' about 3 years ago and found that despite how old the book was and how much the world has changed it was still topical. In fact, it helped me make sense of a 'passage' in my own life at the time.

So I was rather excited to pick up 'new passages'. I was honestly very dissapointed with this book and gave up about one third in. Rather than describing the bigger issues of life we all go through this book seemed very heavily focused on activistic and political viewpoints in the US in various decades. Given that I am neither American nor of an age to belong to any of the described generations this greatly decreased the relevance for me.

On top of that this book focused on the lives of primarily white, higher educated, above average earners, which makes the target group even smaller. I felt I was reading a memento to her own activist and political views more than a self-help book helping me overcome predictable crises.

All in all...if you haven't read the original 'passages' yet, it's a worthwhile read. 'New passages' not so much.

[Halfempty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for my developmental psychology class, and it told me that I am like most people in my generation in not feeling the slightest bit like an adult until I reached age 30 and had my "passage to first adulthood"...before this I imagined that everyone else felt grown up already and I was the only one lagging behind.

It also has many positive things to say about our "second adulthood", which starts around age 45, and is likely to go into our nineties, since we're all going to live so long, unless we get cancer or heart disease...

Doesn't have much to offer to people who are young/under 30 now. Since this book was written in 1995, and was apparently meant to be read immediately, rather than to become a classic, it is speaking to each generation about what they are going through RIGHT NOW...which now means, what they went through more than ten years ago.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nothing like reading a “landmark” book 20 years after it was written. Sheehy, author of the original Passages in 1976, charts our path through the ages again with a new perspective. People are living longer and remaining active much later in life than they did in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations. Today’s 50-year-old is much younger than his parents were at the same age. Indeed, at 50, Sheehy says we’re just getting started on our Second Adulthood, with many more years ahead of us. Using extensive surveys, interviews and research, she shares what it’s really like now for people in their “Tryout Twenties, Turbulent Thirties, Flourishing Forties, Flaming Fifties and Serene Sixties.” It’s fascinating reading but slow. It took me months to get through this book. But now that I’m in my Serene Sixties, what’s the rush?

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

"A woman who reaches age 50 today - and remains free of cancer and heart disease - can expect to see her 92 year." (p.5) How's that for a note-to-self when planning retirement?!

In her several books Gail Sheehy manages to make serious qualitative research conversational. More importantly, she brings clarity to what are otherwise anecdotal thoughts, myths, old wives tales, and speculation. In her New Passages. She admits that when she completed her first Passages (1984) she assumed that age 60 or so was complete enough. Clearly, that has changed. She has now reviewed and expanded typical "adult crises" which shape and influence our adult growth well beyond age 50 and brings the vision of our "second adulthood" into focus. She is always fascinating to read.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much of this book is dated (over 20 years old), and there seem to be too many profiles of people that are super achievers and highly educated. BUT there are a lot of good messages in this book of how to age well.

It emphasizes the concepts of a second adulthood and that people now are taking risks and doing things that previous generations did not consider possible. 50 used to be considered over the hill and this book emphasizes that it is the beginning of a great new period of life, with the caveat that one needs to survive catastrophic illnesses that often occur between 45 and 65. I found much of it to ring true. It is inspiring and I liked the descriptions of the different generations in the beginning.

[Bill Dauster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read "Passages" 30 years ago, I enjoyed reading "New Passages" now. Sheehy is at her best laying out the sociological effects of demography, and then she uses survey, focus group, and anecdotal material to explain how Americans in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are changing they way that they live.

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 4 out of 5]

People are taking longer to grow up and much longer to grow old.

The old demarcations and descriptions for adulthood, beginning at 21 and lasting to 65 are hopelessly out of date.

Sheehy discovers and maps out a completely new frontier – a second adulthood in middle life.

Sheehy allows us to make sense of our own lives by understanding others like us.

[Miguel Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative. Taking you thru every step of development from young adult to all the way into your 50's. Sprinkled with real life accounts from some of her research subjects. Some of which you can relate too, and some of which you can't . A very good read, if you just want to learn a little general information about adult development.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book is already 20 years old, Sheehy's research & perceptions stand the test of time. My one negative reaction was the heavy focus on "well-off professionals" with little insight into the "blue collar" population and how their lives evolved. Interesting chapter on the "60s" as I head in that direction in a year or so.

[Marilyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yay!!! I found my book! So now I am reading the relevant "passages," such as "the flaming fifties." Life goes on...


(Prior comment: Unfortunately, I began reading portions of this book relevant to my life...then I lost it! Oh well...it found a "new passage" to somewhere...)

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

After having read the original Passages at a much earlier age, I found this update to a practical guide to what were more choices, post feminism.

[Cws]

305.24

[Sandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

About Menopause

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slow-going, but an interesting exploration of generational differences and how it influences our society's growth.

[Valerie Quintero]

for book club

[Pattie]

Fascinataing, yet it's dated as it was published about 10 years ago. Draws a correlation as to how the different "X" generation & "Me" generations face each life stage. Would like to see an update.

[Marilyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't remember loving this, but it did prompt some thoughtfulness & very good discussion.

[Nancy Loe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fifteen years old and incredibly dated. Not much here but sweeping generalizations.

[Melissa McDonald]

Life Stages. Relates to women's career development & mentoring research.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rated: C+

[Catherine Teh 陳婉然 · Rating 4 out of 5]

A slow but good read. Understanding the changes in generations, this is a book that will tell us that we have the ability to shape our own life cycle.

[Don Gubler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good generalities but don't believe everything it says.

[Gail Jeidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally read this and check it off my list. Interesting throughout.

[Marjorie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be a must read for everyone.

[Alicia Zuto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I must admit that I'm surprised not everybody gave this five stars. There is a wealth of little tidbits in here that compels me to pick it up and read it over again. I also love the fact that there was a lot of information on Man Getting to middle age And Beyond. A lot of the case studies had familiar scenarios that I completely could relate to. It was really interesting when she broke it down by generation and mentioned why or how each generation was affected by certain stereotypes or life situations like Vietnam or hippies or whatever the case. I always can appreciate a book that has the contents broken down so perfectly like this one. Each chapter is broken down by many sections entitles. I just love that extra effort made by an author and it also makes it more exciting to dive into. We are always hearing about how women have to give up on being beautiful or the hopes of it when we venture past a certain age but it also touches on how men have to accept where they are on the power Spectrum and this is closely related to the work progress they've made in life. They feel a panic in the same way women feel a panic about other things. It also went on to cover the subject of how men it also covered how men face a turning point in life or passage but because it they're not forced to deal with it like we are with menopause they generally don't and this leaves them suffering in the way that it's not bad enough to make a big deal about but it sucks. It backs up the notion that men generally avoid going to the doctor. I will read you some of the chapter titles to give you more of a preview of whether or not the book would be one you would be interested in reading. The discovery process what to do with this leftover life? Mapping lives across time which generation are you traveling with? Then it lists different Generations by what we are referred to as. Chapter 3 is men redefining success chapter 4 out of sight women chapter 5 the fantasy of fertility forever chapter 6 Perpetual middle sense then it's broken into book two second adulthood and like the first part it has a prologue this one is titled a brand new Passage and then it skips to chapter 7 where we left off the mortality crisis chapter 8 Women pits to Peak chapter 9 Wonder Woman meets menopause chapter 10 from pleasing to mastery chapter 11 the Samson complex chapter 12 Fall Guys of the economic Revolution and it goes on up to number 19 chapters and like I said Each one is broken down more individually. I thought it was definitely enjoyable and full of interesting facts and tidbits