17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore

by Jenny Offill, Nancy Carpenter (Illustrator)

This Parenting Magazine Best Book of the Year and Bank Street College of Education Best Children's Book of the Year features a kid full of fun ideas. For example, in the morning, gluing her brother's bunny slippers to the floor sounds like a good plan. But now she's not allowed to use glue anymore. And what about when she shows Joey Whipple her underpants—they're only underpants, right? Turns out she's not allowed to do that again, either. And isn't broccoli the perfect gift for any brother? It's just too bad her parents don't think so. But she has the last laugh in this humerous picture book about not-so-great behavior. And don't miss the companion book to 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do 11 Experiments that Failed, a zany exploration of the scientific method by everyone's favorite troublemaking protagonist.

Genres: Picture Books, Humor, Childrens, Fiction, Family, Storytime, 2nd Grade

32 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Jenny Offill is an American author born in Massachusetts. Her first novel Last Things was published in 1999 was a New York Times Notable book and a finalist for the L.A Times First Book Award.

She is also the co-editor with Elissa Schappell of two anthologies of essays and the author of several children's books She teaches in the MFA programs at Brooklyn College, Columbia University and Queens University.

Reviews

[Relyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is going to sound weird, but when I read this book it bothered me so much I put it away and came back to read it again several days later. I guess I was just testing my opinions from the previous reading. I wanted to like this book. I really did.

I wanted to like the book so much because of the incredible illustrations. They are why I picked it up in the first place and it never stops delighting. It's the story I have a problem with. At first it's a simply wonderful story about a girl who is a complete handful. A sort of Junie B. Jones who is not quite as funny. I think it's a book children could really relate to as the narrator has idea after idea that gets her into trouble.

My problem was with the end of the book. The mother won't allow her to do these 17 things anymore. Things like using a stapler after she has stapled her brothers hair to his pillow. But, instead of ending the book with her planning other (as yet unforbidden) adventures for tomorrow, Jenny Offill promotes disobedience and lying. I'm sorry, but I don't know how else to say it. The little girl says this, "I had an idea to say the opposite of what I mean to trick everyone. 'I'm sorry.' I am allowed to say the opposite of what I mean forevermore."

Isn't that really just lying? I think so. And my problem is this: why make lying look funny, witty, even a smart solution for our troubles? More. Why spin it that way for our children? Lying isn't OK. It's dishonest and disrespectful. Not being sorry for doing wrong is not OK. It's rude and selfish. Sneaking things you aren't allowed to play with isn't OK. It's disobedient. And apologizing when you don't mean it isn't acceptable. It's another lie and it is extremely self-centered.

I'm sorry if I sound all up on a soapbox, but this really bothers me. My friends and I work so hard every day at our elementary school to teach and model integrity and good character. Wouldn't it be nice if the books our children read did the same? At a minimum, wouldn't it be nice if those books didn't make sneaking and lying look smart and funny?

[Skylar Burris · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a funny story for the PARENT of an impish child, but I found it in the children's section of the library. I would never read this to my child again. It sends a very poor message. It gives her ideas of impish things to do she's never considered doing before -- and she's come up with plenty ideas of her own. But worst of all, it ends with the message that all you have to do is lie and say you're sorry when you're not, and then you can get away with it to do impish things yet again. Certainly as parents we see our kids learning to say they're sorry on reflex, when they don't mean it, because they know it's what they're supposed to do before getting to move on, so it's a sort of satire a PARENT can enjoy, but there's no way a kid is going to get a decent message from it or understand the satire. Instead, I can only see it reinforcing bad behavior.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't think I've ever given a book a 1 star rating...but I REALLY disliked everything about this picture book. It gives kids really bad ideas, I don't like the illustrations, the story line, the main character...yuck.

[Sarah Sabry · Rating 3 out of 5]

what a funny book ! :)
I enjoyed reading about chilhdren's tricks ... they are so crazy..
they make alot of mistakes then they apologize about that by telling their mothers " Iam sorry"
then they make these mistakes again ! ...
children are so kind and they need more care and love ! :)

[Tricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

My 3 boys all enjoyed this book. They know how to tell right from wrong, so it's not like they're going to turn into juvenile delinquents or unholy terrors as a result of this book. And goodness knows, they come up with plenty of crazy ideas on their own. Books like this provide a reminder that not all impulses need to be followed up on. And that controversial last page? They decided that her last phrase should be interpreted in the opposite sense (not allowed to say the opposite).

[Madeline Smoot · Rating 5 out of 5]

When this book originally came out it made a bit of a splash, but now days it seems to have been forgotten. And to me, that seems to be a shame because the book is very funny and very cute.

The books is centered around the little girl who decides to do various funny but socially unacceptable activities — like stapling her brother’s head to his pillow. Needless to say, she’s no longer allowed to do that anymore. It’s a clever, engaging book with wonderful illustrations that really highlight the activity in question. The concept is simple, but it doesn’t get boring over the 32 pages.

In other words, I highly recommend this book for all ages, but especially 4 & up. Enough said. Just go out and read it.

Oh, and this review is dedicated to all beavers everywhere. Read the book, and you’ll know why.

[Nouru-éddine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, I sustain efforts to make her show the underpants! And here's this girl is showing it Mr. Joey Whipple that easily?!

[Amira Mahmoud · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is a funny story about a naughty kid
she always wanna to do a strange and disgusting behaviors
then she know that she mustn't do it!!

the caricatures are so funny and nice
but I think the story isn't suitable for children
it will give them more ideas to bother us :3 :D

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel sort of mixed about this book. I really love the illustrations, and the story is pretty hilarious. It's not that I would worry that little ones would try to emulate the ridiculous mischief the character makes throughout the story; it's the tone upon which the story ends. The idea at the end is that she says she's sorry, but only because that's what her mom wants to hear; the stapler in her hand indicates that she's not about to stop doing whatever she wants. I just feel mixed. Any other thoughts?

[Christyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not like, and I mean Ireally did not like 17 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do Anymore. I thought it would be cute and possibly with a moral or lesson learned at the end of the book (it is a children's book after all) but it wasn't like that at all and the more I looked and read through it the more disturbed I was. I read through this at the library while looking for things for my cousin's kids - this will definitely not be shared with them.

First of all the concept of this book - not a really good idea. I mean doesn't it just give kids more ideas to act up? Secondly, I should like the main character of a book right? I mean, I'm not a parent maybe it's different or maybe it's just me but the main character is just screaming to me future sociopath. She is mean, continuously picks on her brother (yes I do have a brother I understand how this can be but at this age - I want to say around 4-5 for the brother and maybe slightly older, 7-10 for the girl- my brother and I got along really well), is obsessed with beavers and shows no conscious at all (she tried to set a kid on fire, and treated her mom like a servant) and also seems to face no consequences for her actions, with the exception of being told she's not allowed to do that anymore.

Let's not forget the lovely way this story ended with her saying "I had an idea to say the opposite of what I mean to trick everyone." (what she said was "I'm Sorry") and then "I am allowed to say the opposite of what I mean forevermore". Really? That's the lesson - it's okay to be a manipulative little liar who has no remorse for anything? Is this really the kind of behavior that should be glorified and that kids are taught? (Yes, I do get that kids say sorry because they're taught that's how to "fix" a problem, but when I was growing up my mom always talked to us to try and make us understand why what we did was wrong and why we should be sorry for it). Maybe it was supposed to be funny, I didn't find it funny, I just found it disturbing.

[Jackie "the Librarian" · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! When the unrepentant protagonist of this book isn't busy tormenting her little brother by stapling his hair to his pillow and gluing his slippers to the floor, she is being passionate about beavers, so much so that she substitutes them for George Washington in her report. Beavers crossing the Delaware, a beaver on the dollar bill, yes!
Fun mixed-media art just adds to the wacky hijinks.

[Caitlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is awful. I stopped reading it at the point she showed a boy her underwear. Not funny. Not something I ever want my kids to think is cute or acceptable.

Later, I finished the book. The last page ends with her saying she is going to lie and disobey forever more.

Fabulous. Great read, right? No.

[Kate Hastings · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny story about a mischevious young girl who makes BAD choices to staple her brother to his pillow, put a fly in the ice cube tray and to do several things that nobody could possibly have thought to make into rules... until now.

[Aayat Saleh · Rating 1 out of 5]

don't give this story to your kids

[Bree Hill · Rating 2 out of 5]

Love the cover. Kind of funny as an adult but this is a children’s book I wouldn’t recommend to kids.

[Mary Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Picked this up while I was working tonight. I really wonder why some kids books get published. Your child will learn 17 ways to be naughty and at the end learn that if he or she decides "to say the opposite of what I mean" and says sorry (meaning the opposite) then everything will be fine. I found it rather disturbing. I won't be recommending this one.

[Crystal · Rating 1 out of 5]

Whoa. Checked this out for a silly storytime because I'd heard it was a funny book. This sends a very, very poor message. The girl in the story talks about all the bad things she does that she shouldn't do anymore and then she ends the story by telling children to just lie and say that they won't do the bad things again. Yikes.

[katayoun Masoodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

must say i am so tempted to try some of the those 17 things, would never allow a child to read this!!! :)

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awards: Parenting Magazine Best Book of the Year and Bank Street College of Education Best Children’s Book of the Year.

The young girl in this story staples her little brother’s hair to his pillow. She is not allowed to use a stapler anymore. At the dinner table she decides to give her brother the gift of cauliflower. She is no longer allowed to give the gift of cauliflower anymore. The star of this story is a hugely imaginative child that only seems to get into trouble with her creativity. Every time you turn the page there is another funny delightful situation she’s gotten herself into and at the end of the story she learns that no matter what her mother loves her.

This story always reminded me of my own children. The situations this young lady comes up with are hilarious to the reader and frustrating to her mother. You never know when you turn the page what situation she’s going to put herself in this time. The sentence structure has a staccato feel to it as if the young lady telling the story is irritated that the adults in her life won’t let her be. The art and illustrations that go along with the story capture perfectly the situations the main character dreams up and the humiliation of being caught and the consequences of her actions. This is a fantastic story that outlines perfectly logical consequences and the unconditional love of a parent

[Anna Richland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This might as well be called "an illustrated version of my life."

My daughter is the main character of this book. No question. I still remember the thrill I felt the first time I read this out loud to the child who used to write apologies on notes so she could ball them up and throw them at me. At least I never had to say "You are not allowed to apologize anymore."

The main character of this book is trapped in the beaver-obsession phase we know so well ... although at our house it is a cow phase, including a school report on cows. It's next to impossible to believe that one amazing children's book could combine so much whimsy with two Richland household icons: George Washington (I have quite a collection of kitschy GW stuff, including many Christmas ornaments) and beavers (Mr. Richland comes from the land of toques, maple syrup, Don Cherry, Molson, tar sands and noble beasts like the beaver). And yet, there it is, wrapped up in behavior just like the second child in my house.

Highly recommend this book for any parent who is mystified by a child's behavior, or just wants to feel like perhaps their child is not as bad as humanly possible. After all, my daughter has never come down the steps with a saw.

[Hans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Borrowed this from the library to audition it as a possible niece book.* The art is great--love Nancy Carpenter's combination of textures, drawing, and photographs. Jenny Offill's story is hilarious.

And then there is this from the title page: "The text of this book is set in Regula. To achieve the mottled look, the type was printed onto paper, which was crumpled and gently filed with an emory board. The type was then resecanned and manipulated in Adobe Photoshop. The illustrations are rendered in pen-and-ink and digital media. Book design by Rachael Cole." Hot damn, Rachael Cole. You brought this book to life Frankenstein's-monster-in-the-storm style!

The only bit that seems odd. The story shows a young heroine who is probably a little to old to read the actual book--seems like she would be onto chapter books and wikipedia. Does the age of the devilish heroine and the age of the target reading audience meet up? Maybe not. Who cares?

All I know is that it's a great uncle-gift because it encourages all the right wrong things!

*While I wait for Jenny Offill's novel to come off the wait list.

[Fjóla · Rating 3 out of 5]

This highly subversive book contains a lot of creativity, but ... it does get a tad repetitive, ideas are recycled and I wish the text had been a little more engaging. Some of the 17 things are certainly more funny than others. The end however ruined the general impression for me. I still decided to rate it with 3 stars because I'm quite smitten with the mixed media effects in the illustrations. But, if this one fell just short for you, there is a sequel you still might like: 11 Experiments That Failed. It takes the idea of this book to the next level, and it's a lot better packaged ...

[Sandy Brehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are several reasons this book makes notable lists: humor, imagination, and believability. The idea that rules are as often a reaction to behaviors as they are arbitrary is delightfully portrayed. The central character's creative approach to everyday objects and activities inevitably generate the need for highly specific rules.
The final page avoids a saccharine conclusion that allows her to stay in character.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Throughout the book I was trying to decide if the little girl is a spirited individual who is not properly appreciated by those around her, or someone who is a narcissist/sociopath that the people around her are trying to divert and contain. The manipulative ending strongly suggests the latter, which is pretty creepy.

[Taylor Kundel-Gower · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most hilarious books I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

[Joyce Himmel · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful story of a little girl with lots of ideas. Some of them may not be exactly the right ideas at the time but, she is never discouraged from coming up with new ones.

[Cosette · Rating 1 out of 5]

I knew I would dislike this book after I read the title.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the illustrations and the silly scenarios in this book, right up until the very end where it feels like lying is made okay.

[Jillian Cryder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yet another book that I laughed out loud about while reading. I was expecting it to be more of a story and talk about a girl who got in trouble all the time and I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't about that. It started with this little girl stapling her brother's hair to this pillow and continued on with her doing a report about George Washington actually on beavers and her wanting to talk about beavers all the time. The book would say what she did, like "I had the idea to glue my brothers bunny slippers to the floor" and the next page would say "I'm not allowed to use glue anymore". I like the predictability of the book and the humor in the innocence of the main little girl. I would love to use this book as a read aloud in my classroom because it was such a good laugh and it would be good to be funny and goofy with my class in the future. I will definitely be purchasing this book!

[Sandy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the story funny, but my 8 year old did not. She says "the girl is a brat who doesn't deserve to have a book about her".