Holding on to Zoe

by George Ella Lyon

After sixteen-year-old Jules has her baby, Zoe, it doesn't matter anymore that her mother thinks she's a drama queen, or that her father left them years ago, or even that Zoe's father is gone, too. She and her baby make a family now; she doesn't need anyone else in the world except Zoe.Though it's tough being a new mom, balancing Zoe's needs with working at the Toyota factory and thinking about how to finish school, Jules is sure she'll figure it out. Still, she wonders, why can't anyone be happy for her and Zoe? And why does her mom refuse to believe that Zoe's real?

Genres: Young Adult, Mental Illness, Fiction, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Mental Health, Teen

166 pages, Hardcover

First published July 17, 2012

About the author

George Ella Lyon is a Kentucky author who has published in many genres, including picture books, poetry, juvenile novels, and articles.

Reviews

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5.

I can't review this without spoiling almost the entire thing. The strength of this book was also the weakness in that it was very short and very quick.

Jules has sex with a boy, gets pregnant, and despite being told by the doctor it's an ectopic pregnancy that'll kill her and the child, she still manages to have a baby and name her Zoe. Jules works at the Toyota factory to make ends meet.

Except it's all in Jules's head. I knew from page 7 that this was going to be the case. She never had the baby, never worked. She'd been sexually molested at a young age and was, from what I could gather, taken advantage of by Damon which caused the pregnancy in the first place. It's not entirely clear how that happened. But the whole believing she has a baby thing was all in her head the entire time, and she was actually in a mental institution, which is what she thought was the Toyota plant. This was her form of therapy for what happened to her earlier, and she poured her love and attention into the fake child because it was what she didn't have, etc.

But the writing isn't that strong, and because it was obvious from the beginning what was going on, I didn't care about the character. Because it is such a short story, much of the opportunity to delve into her psyche was lost. It was hard to know what happened to her, and while I believe she did have the ectopic pregnancy (from one of the final scenes when she sees she has scars), I wanted to know more about what Damon did and what Larry did. Also I can't quite figure out if it was the traumatic pregnancy or being taken advantage of that set her off or if it was a combination of the two. There were so many unanswered questions. The pacing hurt the story, as it moved steadily for 150+ pages, and it wasn't until the final 15 where things sped up and all of those questions were further tangled.

I thought there'd be a great story about a working class girl dealing with life as a single mother (because the truth is, there aren't many). But what started out as a great book book for teens who like reading about teen pregnancy ended up not being that at all. It's a story about mental illness. And while I like an unreliable narrator and like stories of mental illness, this one was far too predictable and left me really disappointed.

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holding On to Zoe
George Ella Lyon

"Holding on to Zoe" is about a sixteen-year-old girl named Jules. Jules and her mother did not get along. Her mother thought she was a drama queen and didn't care for her all that much. Her dad left them years ago and they don't know why. Jules goes to high school and was dating this guy until Jules got pregnant. She had the baby and named her Zoe. Her mother told her that she needed to put it up for adoption and get rid of it. Jules did not want to get rid of it, because it was her baby and she was going to keep it. Jules and Zoe are their own little family. Jules had to protect Zoe from Mother, because she did not trust her with Zoe. Jules started working at Toyota Factory, because she had no money or support for Zoe. Toyota offered to watch Zoe while Jules was working, therefore she did not have to leave Zoe with her Mother. Jules had a good friend from school that would keep in contact with her about what is happening in school. Jules called her and asked if she could come over and just talk. She did not believe that Jules had a child either.

Jules is the main character in this book. She is a sixteen-year-old girl, that goes to high school and then gets pregnant with the guy. She thought she would spend the rest of her life with him, but he ends up leaving. Zoe is Jules’s child. Zoe gets shunned by mother and is unwanted in the house they live in. Jules mother is not caring one bit about anything.

This book was written in 2012. The book doesn't say what specific town it is in but says it is in a little town. Jules and Mother live in a house together in a nice neighborhood. Also, some of the story takes place at the high school there in town and some at the hospital. The scenes when Jules goes to school is very slim, because she ends up having a child and has to stay home with her. She had a lot of doctor appointments, therefore she was at the hospital.

“Holding on to Zoe” is an excellent book. It starts off really awkward, but once you keep reading you understand why it started like how it did. I would recommend this book to high school students, because some of the language is not the best. Also, some of the content of her having a child was a little over the top.

[Paris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jules becomes more than the average 16-year-old -- she becomes a mother. As hard as that may be at her age, she embraces it whole-heartedly. She is happy to have a baby and she is ready to take on the challenging task. However, the people closest to her don’t want to accept the new person in her life, her baby Zoe. Jules is upset by this but nevertheless she continues to be a strong mother. She does all she knows how to do for her baby and she does her absolute best to keep Zoe safe. Still, her mother and best friend insist that she carry on with her life, the life she left behind to commit herself to her child. Jules doesn’t understand why they won’t see her future as she sees it, a future centered around Zoe. In the end, it’s Zoe who has to see her future differently.

This book was captivating because the main character -- and therefore reader -- wasn’t all-knowing. The way it’s narrated, the reader receives the eye-opening reality just as Jules does, which is the icing on the cake for this book. As hard as I tried to figure out the plot twist to this book, it wasn’t until the last couple chapters that as I was able to do that. This book is much deeper than a “16 and pregnant” type of book but it’s also a quick read. With those qualities, it’s worth reading.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those books that are difficult for me to review without giving too much away.

Holding on to Zoe is a compelling read. I couldn’t stop reading, wondering what pushed Jules into her current situation. It left me thinking about a lot of things. It was fascinating, but also very sad and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, despite her naivety. It is an understatement to say that her mother isn’t the warmest person, and you can see the affect that this has on Jules on top of everything else she has gone through. She is left with no one, and it is no wonder she held onto Zoe so tightly.

Part of me wishes it had been a bit longer, and we had gotten to know everyone a little better. I would have liked to have seen more of Damon, the boy who impregnates Jules, as well as Reba, Jules’ best friend. The “Toyota factory” could have played a larger role. I think everything moves so quickly that the only thing that had an impact on me was Jules’ state of mind, which is probably the point, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting more out of it.

I’m not sure what else to say without spoiling everything, but I definitely think this book is worth a read!

2.5/5 Stars

[†Reviews of a FearStreetZombie† · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh, I hated this book, it was so heart shattering. I give it 5 stars. It kept me wanting more, I had to finish it. Even if I knew the outcome, I just had to finish it.

Through this book, I bout cried my eyes out, my heart raced and shattered, my guts felt like they were being knotted into a million knots.

This book is so haunting, it really makes you think.

I have a love hate relationship with this book.

I will admit, I'm glad I read it, but I will not read it again. I highly doubt I will ever need to honestly. I'm pretty sure 20 years from now someone could bring up the book and it will still be fresh in my mind.

[Vibiana Cruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book even though there was some confusion in the beginning. There is a lot of emotion throughout the book. I really like how the the author, George Ella Lyon, kept the book in suspense until the end. I recommend this book more to girls because it shows the problems they face once getting pregnant and then having to lose their baby.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review Pending!

So not fair to make me cry first thing in the morning!

[Danya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of my Psychtember reviews will be formatted differently than my standard reviews, to reflect the mental health theme. I've structured things as though the book is the patient and I'm giving it an assessment. Each axis is an aspect of the book that I'll give my thoughts on (characters, plot, etc.), and the validity score refers to how psychologically accurate I think the book is. Then I may list some other books that this one "shares symptoms with" (i.e. novels dealing with similar topics) and provide the patient's "statement" (quote) before giving the "diagnosis" (my shooting star rating). The rating still reflects my overall view of the book, using my standard rating system.

*Note: I've hidden Axis 4 discussion entirely because of spoilers, but it's there if you wish to read it!

Assessment:

Axis 1. Characters

There's just a small cast of characters in this book, with the focus primarily on Jules. If you like unreliable narrators, you'll probably like Jules, because she's about as unreliable as they get. We get such a skewed viewpoint from Jules that we don't know exactly what's true and what's not — although this would have been even more the case, and thus more mystifying and unsettling, if the back cover description didn't give so much away. 

Jules' mom is the complete opposite of helpful, and deserves to be in the running for the Most Annoying and Neglectful Mom of the Year. She keeps pushing Jules when her daughter is obviously having trouble, and she never believes her, which frustrated the heck out of me. Really, it's depressing that she just doesn't seem to care that much about Jules.

Axis 2. Premise/plot

This is a short, character-driven book. It's almost like a character study of someone who develops psychosis— their reactions, behaviour, mindset — written for the YA crowd. As I mentioned above, I think the back of the book gives away too much of the plot, and it would have been more surprising if I had known less about it going in.

Axis 3. Writing Style

The writing is simple and minimalist, bringing to mind the bare-boned structure of a play. It flips back and forth between the present and the past (doing so without warning, which is a little confusing).

Axis 4. Psychological Accuracy

The "teen girl gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby" storyline has been done many times before, but the way Jules reacts is different than what we usually see. In her case, the conditions (trauma in the past, father gone, mother as a poor support system) are right for pregnancy to act as a trigger for psychosis. It's a little unnerving that someone can have such a completely different take on reality than most of us, but I had to feel bad for her because she wants a baby so badly that she basically won't let anything else enter her head. While I found it difficult to feel close to her, the fact that she's delusional is not alienating; the reader will not have trouble hoping that Jules will get help. Jules' voice sounds very young for
her age — more like 13 or 14 than 16 — but this might be due in part to
her mental state; it certainly works to convey her naivete and obvious need for help.   


It's told in 1st-person POV, so the reader is placed fully in Jules' mind, and it becomes obvious how her perception of her environment has been contorted to reflect this inner reality she's crafted, so that everything makes sense within this delusion of hers. She displays the symptoms of hallucination (she sees a bunch of socks tied together as a baby) and delusion (she believes she has a baby), and her level of social functioning has certainly declined as well. Jules also shows a few signs of atypical cognitive functioning — she seems to talk back and forth with herself, and she sometimes uses word association. These are perhaps indicative of thought disorder (which can be a symptom of schizophrenia), although they're not a defining feature of her presentation. Depending on how long she has been having trouble, she would probably be diagnosed with either schizophreniform disorder (more than a month but less than 6 months) or schizophrenia (over 6 months). It's difficult to tell how long she's been exhibiting symptoms since the story jumps around a bit in time. I suspect the most likely subtype Jules would fall under would be undifferentiated schizophrenia; she's a little bit edgy about how other people view Zoe, but I don't think it's enough to qualify her for paranoid subtype.

As for the therapy, I'm not certain which theoretical orientation Emma uses. She asks a lot of questions, and uses some unusual techniques to connect with Jules, but almost seems to operate from a psychodynamic understanding in some respects — the significance she places on memories, for example. I didn't buy the "breakthrough" that Jules has; the unlocking of her memories and subsequent destruction of her delusion happens too quickly and easily to be believable. 


That said, the actual explanation for her developing psychosis — that she was sexually abused in childhood — is plausible, as there does seem to be a connection between the two. I suspect we're meant to take a Freudian interpretation of it: Zoe representing Jules' "inner child" who was abused, and Jules now wanting to protect that little girl. I'm very dubious, however, about the sudden disappearance of Jules' delusion from nothing more than retrieval of repressed memories. "Recovered" memories are a tricky business, seeing as therapists can influence clients to "remember" something that never actually happened. In any case, I would suspect a longer relationship with the therapist would be needed before Jules felt comfortable enough to let herself access these memories. While it's a good sign that Emma is able to create a positive, trusting relationship with Jules, the whole thing still happens rather quickly.


Furthermore, I'd like to better understand the role the medication played here. There are a few brief mentions of pills Jules takes (she believes they're vitamin pills) but I'd really like to know more details. Anti-psychotics are one of the primary methods of treatment for psychosis, and yet they seem to provide Jules with very little benefit. Jules' recovery is quite obviously attributed to the memory retrieval, but in real life I suspect the anti-psychotics would be far more effective.

Validity Score:

How psychologically accurate was Holding on to Zoe?

Patient shares symptoms with: Without Tess by Marcella Pixley

Patient's statement:


"I will never let anything bad happen to Zoe. No one will hurt or scare her; she'll never be hungry, afraid, or alone. Not while I'm alive. I sat in that day care one whole day watching everything Mrs. Jamieson did before I agreed to leave Zoe there. I know what she's fed, how often she's changed, what they do at nap time. I know Allie and Mary Jane and Glenda, who also work there, and they know I'm paying attention. There's a lot in this world that would gobble little girls up. Dark places in every neighborhood. Most parents don't see, but I see. That's my job." 

Diagnosis: 3.5 shooting stars.

For more information about schizophrenia, see here.

Disclaimer: I received this book as an ARC for review from the publisher. 

[Rylie Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plot Summary
Jules is a 16 year old who got pregnant, and had a baby girl named Zoe, except she didn't, and it was all in her head. Jules was molested as a child and taken advantage of by her boyfriend, causing an ectopic pregnancy, but she still believed Zoe was real, until she realizes she's been in a mental hospital, taking care of a bundle of blankets.

Personal Response
I liked the majority of the book, I just didn't like how the ending was so rushed in when the rest of the book was pretty slow moving. The story itself was good, but pretty predictable. I felt bad for Jules because it was obvious she had mental issues and had been through a lot.

Characterisation
In the beginning of the book, Jules was a regular 16 year old girl, until she found out she was pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy. She refused to believe it, and was convinced she'd have her kid, and she did, in her mind. She started to go through therapy and realized that Zoe, her daughter, was her.

Recommendations
I recommend this book to high schoolers or teens, it wasn't a hard read but I think it's a good book to teach you about what teen pregnancy can do to you. I'd mainly recommend it to females since they would see what Jules went through before and after she was pregnant and how it affected her life.

[Jane FitzGibbon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overall, after finishing my book Holding Onto Zoe I was very pleased with the book. The book starts off the a girl named Jules who is a 16 year old high school dropout who is now a teen mom. She just has her newborn child, Zoe. Zoe is 3 months old and is brought with her mother to work everyday at a toyota factory. Zoe struggles with parental advice and support since both her father and mother have left her on her own after her brave decision of having Zoe. The book goes on and on with Jules trying to find a new job and support her and Zoe. Within the last 30 pages of the book George Ella Lyon explains to us the Jules has a mental disease which makes her imagine real life situations, Jules wakes up in a mental hospital strapped down to bed screaming, "Where is my baby!" The book finally concludes with Jules stuck in the mental hospital with no baby and her parents in the waiting room. It's one of the biggest plot twists I have ever seen in a book.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sixteen-year-old Jules is a teen mom, struggling to balance her factory job and taking care of her new baby, Zoe. Her father abandoned the family years ago, and Zoe's father isn't around either. Jules' mother isn't very supportive. She thinks Zoe isn't real, and Jules is being a hysterical drama queen. But why? This was a short, quick, read dealing with issues like mental health and teen pregnancy. I think most readers will figure out the twist about Zoe pretty quickly, but I still enjoyed this book.

[Daia · Rating 1 out of 5]

A poor attempt to deliver a psychological prose intruding the psyche of a mentally-deviated pregnant teen whose sudden infirmity roots to a really confusing (and not well-explained) reason. Lot of times I had this sudden urge to ram Jules' head on a wall to make her see sense.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this one. The premise is intriguing and some of the therapy scenes seem real, some not so much.

[Reese Shiveley · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a pretty interesting story, although confusing at times so that's why it's rated 3 stars

[Cecilia · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a book about teen pregnancy. Not really. It is a book about mental illness that was triggered by teen pregnancy.

As a rule, I don’t like books about mental illness. It is a subject that can’t be easily written about in a way that isn’t condescending—like the mentally ill are less because they are ill; that their realities are less important just because they aren’t the collective reality. Books about mental illness are generally just metaphors for something else. Mental illness is played off as something that can miraculously get better with the right word, program, or pill.

As a rule, I don’t like books about teen pregnancy, as they usually romanticize some portion of it or completely villainize it—neither of which really describe it. It is in no way a romantic situation, but it isn’t the end-all of a person’s life either. It just is. Teen parents can be successful or even good parents with equal percentage as adult parents.

This book, I’m not really sure how I feel about it.

All the characters in the book are as real even as they are two dimensional because the narrator is mentally unreliable, though not situationally unreliable. Jules reports even the unpleasant things that happen to her (her mother and friend not believing her about the baby, her struggles with work), but at the same time lives in a reality that is based on fantasy rather than logic (ignoring the mental hospital by calling it a Toyota factory, the baby made of tied socks, etc.).

Jules first person POV makes you ache as you wish both that the baby was real and that Jules would wake up and see what actually happens. Your heart hurts as you sympathize with all the various reactions to Jules and her mental illness. However, because of Jules straight-laced conviction of a child that clearly isn’t, I as the reader began to question my own sanity.

Surely only a novel that was well-written could do that.
That being said, I didn’t like how the character’s reactions seemed forced into boxes—the planning the author went through to try to represent all the reactions to mental illness is very obvious and seemed contrived in places.

I didn’t like the reason Jules mental health declined was a trigger from a rape when she was young. It seemed to normalize that rape makes people crazy, that teen pregnancies obviously aren’t good for the mental health in a very serious way, and that childhood rapes live in repressed memories. That last especially is so far from true, it’s disrespectful to both rape victims and the human capacity for memory.

I didn’t like how mental illness is portrayed while Jules was at the institution as it seemed contrived (hmm what do crazy people say? Oh, they just say weird things, it’s okay). I didn’t like how the end of the novel came so suddenly and without a struggle. Wam, bam, Jules is healed and now is suffering PTSD from a fake child and a repressed rape memory, but it ends on the hopeful note that Jules has no child after all so she has her whole life ahead of her again.

I didn’t like how normalized the thought of college-is-the-end-all-be-all is in the novel (or society). Not everyone is made for schooling just as not everyone was made for labor. Blue vs white collar jobs is ridiculous—both are equally as important, so why not as equally valued? Jules’ decision to be a mother is frowned on because she “has her whole life ahead of her” and her work at the Toyota factory is passed off as a joke of the mentally ill.

This version of teen pregnancy definitely is a pro-life, abstinence is key, kind of book. It did mention responsible sex by using condoms and spermicide, but Jules still ended up pregnant (nothing can keep you safe, so just don’t do it!) and with the juxtaposition of Jules childhood trauma and the repetition of dirty/bad girl, it really hits the “you-shouldn’t-be-having-sex-teens” message hard. Which, I don’t feel comfortable with. Sex is prioritized in the adult world so much that asexuals are completely erased and unaccepted, but then when teens wish to develop and learn healthy sex habits when their libidos can actual handle the exploration, adults are telling them they are dirty. I hate double standards, and this book seems full of them.

But, because the book is written from Jules POV, It is written in such a way that all the problems seem to be overlooked in the reader’s cheering for Jules personal struggle to get better when she doesn’t know she’s ill.

The fact it was powerful enough to do that doesn’t sit really well with me. It is a powerful novel, but it also seems a bit harmful.

[Aeicha · Rating 2 out of 5]

THREE WORDS: Intriguing but Fragmented

MY REVIEW: Holding On to Zoe by George Ella Lyon has a really intriguing premise, which is, of course, what drew me to the book. I went into the book expecting a powerful, raw glimpse into the life of a troubled teenage mother, but what I got was something disappointing.

At sixteen years old, Jules finds herself pregnant. Even when the baby’s father takes off and her mother refuses to accept what’s happening, Jules wants her baby more than anything else. But being a single, teenage mother is hard and she must balance taking care of baby Zoe with working at the Toyota factory. And Jules’ mother and best friend don’t make anything any easier and even refuse to believe that Zoe is real. As Jules struggles as a mom, she also struggles to distinguish between reality and fantasy and must find the strength to deal with a long buried secret.

This is a hard review to write because I walked away from Holding On to Zoe so conflicted. I wanted to like this book because it has so much potential and almost does so much right, but in the end I found it to be uninspiring and disjointed.

The book begins with such a potentially profound premise, but lacks captivating execution and storytelling. The story is told from Jules’s perspective and as the story unfolds you realize that she is not a reliable narrator, which makes the story confusing and fragmented. There’s also a really unbalanced flow and, at times, the tense switches in a jarring way. These things were so distracting that I had a hard time staying “in” the story.

Based on the synopsis, especially the part that says “And why does her mom refuse to believe that Zoe's real?”, readers can easily assume that not all is as it seems with Jules and her baby Zoe and the “twist” of Zoe not really existing is introduced early on in the story. So, with this twist the story goes from being about a troubled teenage mother to being about a troubled teenager suffering from mental illness. Like I said above, this storyline has the potential to be powerful and thought-provoking, but falls very short. There’s no real exploration of Jules’ psychotic break and her “breakthrough” feels contrived and anticlimactic. Everything for a great story is present in the basic premise, but the execution and storytelling prove to be lackluster.

The characters are not really likable or relatable and feel one-dimensional. I had a hard time connecting with Jules and even though I was sympathetic to her situation, I never felt invested in her story. Jules’s mother is downright horrible! She’s bitter, judgmental and selfish; there’s nothing redeemable about her at all. This is a short book, at under 200 pages, but I honestly don’t think I could have handled reading about these characters if the book was any longer.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS: Holding On to Zoe was a disappointing and dull read, mostly because it has so much potential and little follow through. The emotional and profound elements just aren’t there, making this a less than enjoyable read.

[Aj Sterkel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've decided that it's impossible for me to review this book without giving away the plot.

This novel is about a teenager, Jules, who gets pregnant. She gives birth to a perfect baby girl, Zoe. However, Jules's mother and friends can not see Zoe and do not believe that she is real.

I have seriously conflicted feelings about this book. It's one of those books that took my brain a long time to process. I did enjoy it. The plot is quickly paced. The characters are easy for the reader to sympathize with. The story is thought-provoking enough that I read it in a few hours. I liked Jules, and I so, so badly wanted her baby, Zoe, to be real. It would have been interesting to read a story about a good teenage parent. I think there's a stereotype in our society today (possibly perpetuated by the Teen Mom shows) that teenagers make horrible parents. I don't believe that. In the majority of cases, it's not ideal for teenagers to have babies, but it happens, and teens can be successful parents. I really wanted Zoe to be real and Jules to be a successful parent. Only a very good book could make me want something so badly for a character.

The main problem for me was that I never believed that Zoe was real. I believed that Jules was pregnant. I believed that she had an ectopic pregnancy. I didn't believe that the baby was born because I stopped trusting Jules after her visit to the doctor. Her belief that the baby was waiting to make sure that it was welcome before moving into the womb was so bizarre that I immediately knew that Jules was an unreliable narrator. I trusted the mother and friends (who couldn't see Zoe) more than I trusted Jules. 

My next problem was Jules's psychological reasons for inventing Zoe. Jules was molested/raped. When I read that, I felt my heart sink, and I went, "Oh, it's another one of those books." Molestation/rape seems to be a very common reason that characters are mentally ill in young adult fiction. It's starting to bother me. A lot. Not everybody who was molested/raped has a mental illness. Not everybody who has a mental illness was molested/raped. I'd like to see YA authors be a little more creative with their mentally ill characters. 

I did like that Jules wasn't cured of her mental illness at the end of the book, but she did make a lot of progress in very few pages. Her sudden leap toward getting better felt unrealistic.

That probably sounds like a lot of criticism, but this isn't a bad book. It's a compelling, captivating, and intense book. I couldn't put it down; I needed to find out what happened to Jules. Even with its problems, this book is worth reading.

[Sana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes people take extreme measures to live in denial and sometimes, just sometimes, a person is blissfully unaware of going to that extreme level. Life finally catches up with them and they end up getting out of it a better human being. So does that mean that the mind needs its own time to come to terms with their life to carry on? Maybe.

Jules is living a normal life, better than some. But she has lost one thing: a chance at having a normal family ever since her father skipped town when she was five and her mother went into an all-work-no-time-for-Jules mentality. She has her reasons though, to fulfil the expenses and everything. But is that enough of a reason to be ignorant of the emotional needs of your only daughter? Maybe so; if you're born an unemotional, no touchy-feely type of a mother.

But Jules have Reba and then she gets pregnant. Having a baby will mean a family and so Jules go over the top when the doctor talks about getting rid of the baby which is easier now that Jules is having an ectopic pregnancy. That doesn't sit well with Jules and she relents. Damon may have also chosen to skipped town, if forcefully by his mother, and ignore the existence of their baby even when he swore he never would. But for Jules, Zoe is a lifeline. So it's only logical that Jules feels overprotective for Zoe when her mother tells her to drop the drama and Reba is all uncomfortable whenever she mentions Zoe. Only Dr. Douglas understands and Jules feels comfortable talking to her because she's the first person to accept Zoe.

Holding on to Zoe is a gripping mystery of Jules life after she gets pregnant and the outcome of being 16-and-pregnant. It is a short book and I finished it in a few hours. The book left me thinking how people choose to cope with the difficulties in their lives.

The poem, Fire and Ice by Robert Frost, mentioned in Holding on to Zoe perfectly defines what Jules is going through. It is a beautiful way to describe the story: how hard the process of letting go and of acceptance is.

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

[Dorine White · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a deeply moving YA contemporary to review today, it is Holding on to Zoe by George Ella Lyon. Published by FSG, it will be released mid July.

The Story- Sixteen year old Jules just wants to take care of her baby Zoe, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Of course, telling herself that and living life like that are two different things. At the beginning of the book Zoe works at a Toyota plant assembling cars, but soon she is forced to go back home and live with her control freak mother. Zoe doesn't mind being home so much as she minds that her mom completely ignores her baby, won't even hold Zoe.

Jules life will never be the same after getting pregnant. The doctor's told her she had an ectopic pregnancy, but they were wrong. Zoe is proof of that. But, why does everyone seem to think Zoe isn't real?

My Thoughts- Wow, a great story that really grips you. To review this book I will need to get into SPOILERS- so fair warning. The start of this book seems absolutely normal. Jules is pregnant, her boyfriend up and leaves, and her mom ignores her. Then, Jules learns she has an ectopic pregnancy and everything changes, the entire story. The author does an amazing job of mixing reality with insanity. I knew things were off from the very beginning, but with just subtle hints dropped, the reader doesn't know how far Jules has split from reality.

And the reason for her split? I had no clue. This amazing book really draws you into the full story, not revealing what is actually wrong with Jules until the very end. But, all the consequences are seen throughout the whole book. It really moved me emotionally. The struggle this girl went through and the coldness of her mother, just left me angry. The resulting trauma is heartbreaking. Wow, a very well written and deep book.

I recommend this book to mature YA readers. It definitely stands out in today's contemporary market. FYI- there are bits of sex and sexual abuse.

[Tasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

16-year-old Jules left home and started working at a Toyota factory once her baby Zoe was born. The facility offered free baby care and a small apartment for them to live in together. But her best friend and mother don’t seem to be accepting Zoe at all. It’s almost as if they’d be happy to Jules just forgot about her baby altogether. But Jules is determined to be a good mother to this perfect little baby. It means that she has to juggle a lot of responsibilities and even more when she heads back to high school. When she is forced to leave Toyota and return to living with her mother, things reach a crisis. Throughout the book readers will piece together what is true in Jules’ life and what is not. This is a credible and disturbing book about teen pregnancy and mental illness.

In reading others’ reviews of this book, I found that many had responded negatively to the book. It is a unique mixture of teen pregnancy book in the beginning and mental illness in the end. The mental illness portion comes slowly and readers will see tentacles of it early in the book if they look for them. Jules’ pregnancy is handled honestly with both the baby’s father and Jules’ mother responding negatively to the news. There is a beautiful sensitivity to the entire work that makes it poignant.

Jules is a protagonist with real issues. As she struggles, the characters around her become all the more human. Her mother moves from being a rather shadowy figure of doubt to someone who cares deeply and is unable to show her emotions. Jules’ best friend Reba also shows her true colors as Jules struggles on. Reba refuses to play along with Jules insisting that she see the truth.

This book is sensitive, real and tragic. It is an issue book that changes issues as the story continues, something that is unique and fascinating. Appropriate for ages 16-18.

[E. Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't a casual read. Although you probably guessed that from the whole teen pregnancy theme. What makes it even more intense is that HOLDING ON TO ZOE is psychologically intense from the very first page. The narrator, Jules, has a mother who is too focussed on her own reputation to even believe that her daughter is pregnant, and her boyfriend, while first proposing they get married, calls the next day from the bus station to tell her his mom freaked and is sending him to live with his uncle. Even Jules' best friend Reba offers advice and support -- on "getting rid of it."

But Jules feels more attached to the baby growing inside her than she ever has to anyone else she's loved. She feels like it's destiny, like fate is intervening in her life to give her this child. But when she goes to the doctor to a) confirm her pregnancy so her mom will believe her and b) make sure the baby is healthy, she finds out something that shakes her world yet again: she has an ectopic pregnancy. The fetus is growing inside one of her fallopian tubes and needs to be removed to save Jules' life.

Jules is determined though. She refuses to accept her doctor's prognosis. Refuses to go along with what her mother says is a huge relief -- that there will be no baby. And when Zoe arrives, Jules is over the moon. But the thing is, nobody else is happy for her. Her mom won't even acknowledge the baby. And Jules' life is spinning out of control.

This book is a page-turner -- a quick read with wonderful twists. Laurie Halse Anderson and Judy Blume fans will love Jule's story, and it's bound to be passed around, girl to girl, in middle and high schools this year.

[Kimberly · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was such a disappointment for me. I had been hoping that my streak of "bad" books was over for the year. Apparently that's not the case at all. I really hate writing negative reviews, because I don't want to hurt the author's feelings but they are necessary.

When I first saw this book listed on NetGalley I was so excited to read it because it reminded me a lot of the book Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks which I've read at least a dozen times since I first discovered it when I was 10 years old.

Unfortunately for me, the book fell way short of my expectations. For me the story was bland, fragmented and over all very poorly written. I did not care for Jules at all. She was very one dimesnsional and though the sexual abuse she suffered was bad, it did not even come to light until the later 15 pages of the book. If it was he authors intention to truly write a powerful work of fiction for teens than it would have been better if that part had been worked into the story sooner than later.

The way the story was told was so fragmented it drove me nuts! I truly disliked it. The plot was promising, but it was poorly executed. To me it's as if it were a jig-saw puzzle that was put together by a teenager with no concept of how a story is supposed to be written. Basically, the book was a complete failure for me and while I don't feel comfortable recommending it to anyone, as always I urge you to think for yourselves and give it a try if you want.



*I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for my free and honest review.

[Just a person · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, I read this story in one sitting. But, it definitely was not what I thought it would be. I knew something was off a few chapters in, and I knew mostly where it was going. I think that I didn't pay as much attention to the last line of the summary or I probably would have been expecting more of what this book was about.
This is not to say that I disliked this book, it was just kinda like getting a sip of sweet tea when you were expecting diet coke.
Holding on to Zoe is also hard to review because I can't really say very much without giving away spoilers, and I don't want to do that.
The character development was good, and Jules really evoked my sympathy. I felt for her love for Zoe, her pain that her mom is pushing her away and refuses to believe that Zoe is there.
My problems are more of were coming from more of a medical perspective. I wanted more answers as to *why* and *how.* But I can also see that this is a book for teens and not everyone cares (read probably everyone except me?) about those questions from the medical sense, instead of just focusing on the world that was set up, what the character was going through and feeling and her journey to finding herself in the mess of what her life had become.
This story is short but has lots of emotional issues. I think it could have been more powerful if there was more doubt, and if there would have been more time spent on the "after."

For more of my reviews, check out Blkosiner’s YA and Teen Book Blog: http://blkosiner.blogspot.com

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trying to explain why this novel didn't work for me is a challenge. It's hard to even write about the book without giving away too much; however, savvy readers will know almost at once that something is very off about Jules and her baby Zoe.

From the news of the teen's pregnancy being extopic and a surgery being scheduled to take care of it, we are next quickly confused by Jules' insistence that she works in a factory where Zoe has good day care. It just doesn't quite make it as psychologically intense either. I had a hard time buying Jules' imaginary baby and that level of psychosis from a somewhat crappy homelife from which a baby of her own seems like the perfect escape. I understand that some teenaged girls don't feel "real" until they can have a baby to help them define themselves, so perhaps this book speaks well to that phenomenon. For me, though, it just wasn't written well enough to make me believe what Jules believed. Childhood trauma that goes beyond the cold and bitter mother helps with the suspension of disbelief and my investment as a read, but I just couldn't get my wheels off the ground, couldn't hold on to Zoe.

[Alexa (Alexa Loves Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

(Review originally posted on Alexa Loves Books)

It’s been surprisingly common for me to read about characters that have deep-rooted issues (psychological, emotional, or physical) lately – and Holding On to Zoe is another book on the pile. I sped through this read, and I’m happy to say it pleasantly surprised me.

This book follows Jules, who has just had baby Zoe. It chronicles her struggle to deal with Zoe and her real life, as well as with her mother, who refuses to acknowledge that Zoe exists. The book definitely takes an interesting turn about a third of way through, when you realize something’s off. I won’t spoil anything, but I will say that it was that twist that kept me reading.

This is definitely a quick read, but it packs quite a punch. I felt that the ending was slightly rushed, but it still was worth reading. George Ella Lyon has written quite an intriguing little novel.

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was too short and simply written. It didn't have the impact it could have... the writing could be in J, easily, but the content is definitely mature and deserved more... effort? Attention? A more talented author?

Our young protagonist was abused as a child. She becomes pregnant by her boyfriend, who then skips town. She discovers that she's excited about having a baby to care for... a purpose. Turns out she's desiring to express the care and concern she never received as a child. When she's told her pregnancy is ectopic and must be terminated, she mentally collapses and becomes delusional. There's something here that could be creepy, heartbreaking... but the book is just too short to get there.

[Becky Barrier Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't have time to read YA lit often, but I want to read everything George Ella Lyon writes. This book was so emotionally charged and suspenseful that I could not put it down. While my heart went out to Jules and the secret she had repressed for so long that it was making her sick, I also identified with Lana, her Mom, who was struggling to hold her family and life together after being abandoned by her husband. Jules and her invisible Zoe were just about the last straws, but Lana came through in the end. I have always been fascinated by the power of the human mind to protect and repress what can't be born, and this novel elucidates just that. I know the teens for whom it was written will be just as fascinated and drawn to all of these characters as I was.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jules has gone through some drama in her young life, including getting pregnant at 16, and her dream of becoming a little family is shattered when the baby's father takes off. Jules' own father left when she was small, and her mother is a slightly bitter, no-nonsense, overworked woman who struggles to get by. Jules tries to make a life for herself and her baby girl Zoe, but no one will acknowledge the baby, which alienates the relationships Jules has with her best friend and further strains the tenuous relationship with her mother. However, with the help of medical personnel, some painful secretes are revealed and the healing begins.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book did not get the rating from others that I felt it deserved. But then that's what makes reading and reviewing books so much fun! I actually loved this book and I felt sorry for Jules. Teen pregnancy can't be easy but having to deal with s dysfunctional family only heightens the pain. Who cares for a non-existent baby? Who baths and feeds a pile of socks? Well Jules did and my heart bled for her. In the end, we see that once again, we are victims of our childhood because Jules real problem began years ago...............

[Kerry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jules gets pregnant at 16 and is deliriously happy about it. So, when she learns that the fetus is ectopic and she won't be able to carry it to term she is devastated. So much so that she goes a little cray cray and wakes up where SHE believes is an apt for new mothers with her baby Zoe-but what is ACTUALLY a mental hospital with a rolled up ball of socks in a blanket. haha. I'm sorry-it's not funny but it kind of is! Socks! haha. Anyway-it was only a 150 page book so I read in it like an hour so that was ok. It was worth an hour.