*Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Young Readers Group for providing me with an arc of this book in exchange for an honest review*
1 star and a flat, tired stare.
I went from “I’m excited to read something cute and light” to “huh maybe I’ve just outgrown YA contemporary” to “oh no, I just don’t like any part of this book because it’s either really predictable, underdeveloped, or nonsensical”. I made it halfway and then skimmed to the end just to see what happened to Elliot.
This book had potential, but it fell horrendously flat. I guess so I don’t lose myself in all my thoughts on the plot/themes, I’ll start with the characters.
They were… fine. They existed.
Micah started off as an interesting and kind of endearing character. His deeply-rooted beliefs about what relationships should be like really reminded me of myself before I started dating, and even in the early months/years of my relationship. It made me feel a nice mix of nostalgia and sorrow, and I was genuinely invested in how he was going to learn not to expect perfection from himself or his partner, that relationships take work and thrive in the small, quiet moments.
Aaaaaand at the end of the book he’s rushing to the train station to stop his crush, who he’s also objectified quite a bit, from leaving a genuinely bad situation for an arguably much better situation, because he just doesn’t want to be left alone. I also could not believe that his motivation behind helping Brandon and Elliot stay together wasn't to help Elliot, but was ultimately to keep Elliot from moving away from HIM.
What was this kid supposed to have learned again?
I also had a hard time understanding his motivation to get into the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He’s apparently able to fling money around on anything and everything, and he’s had private art tutors in the past. Is he only interested in the school so that he can be involved in the art community? I mean, that’s fair I guess. But then why does it seem like he’s not following other artists online?? It’s not mentioned even once. It felt really weak to me that he’s looking for *inspiration* solely from his crushes and not from fellow artists in an online community, which is how online artists actually thrive.
Grant was boringly perfect for the first quarter of the book, and because I knew he wasn’t the endgame I was just waiting for something to go wrong, but there was really nothing to him aside from his inferiority complex and the fact that he was just as selfish as Micah was. Honestly, they made a great couple. They deserved each other.
Elliot…. Elliot Elliot Elliot. The overworked and stressed poor kid who was constantly harassed by customers and abused by his manager and stuck in a crappy living situation- y’know, just that real world food service life- but who absolutely NEVER let it get him down. Never. Not once. Who never stood up for himself to mean customers but had to have other people come in and help him or just give stuff away for free until they calmed down (which he totally would have gotten in trouble for btw). In the end, he was so complacent he didn’t even quit his terrible job on his own, didn’t make any kind of stand or statement, he just got fired cuz he stopped showing up cuz he was sad. The ONE time he got mad was when Micah posted on Insta that they weren’t romantically involved.
Please stop representing the overworked and underpaid masses as toothless and polite. This is SO not the time.
At the end of the book, when he and Micah are confessing their love to each other, he tells Micah that he has flaws, that their relationship isn’t going to be perfect, but lol, we know that’s not true. He’s only ever been described as NICE and PATIENT and POSITIVE and being PERFECT at making other people (Micah most importantly) feel good.
Hannah was cool. Micah’s dad was really obsessed with time management for a single scene and then it never came up again. Micha’s sister was mean until Micah complained about it once and then the problem was solved.
Okay moving on.
The portrayal of online vs. real life fame for artists was wholly unrealistic. An artist with 50k followers posts a face reveal and gets a million more followers and likes from celebrities and has people following him around in real life snapping candids?? Even if he was piggybacking off the dubious fame of his washed-up hockey player turned failed reality TV star turned local radio talk show host father, I could not suspend my disbelief even half so far.
Not to mention the way the book handles art and networking. For artists, networking is literally EVERYTHING. We are fighting constantly to beat the algorithms just to get our stuff SEEN, much less engaged with. And part of being in an online artist community is hyping up your fellow artists. And that’s just if we want to keep a relatively casual relationship between our art and our income. If we want to do art as a JOB?! We have GOT to have connections in the industry. Networking, whether online or in person, is everything.
Grant asking for Micah to promote an art project that, at that point, they are COLLABORATING on, from which they both mutually benefit by getting the attention of the art college they BOTH want to go to?!
Hot take incoming: not a bad thing.
Obviously he could have started his own Insta after the face reveal happened and they suddenly became irl celebrities for no reason, sure, but Micah already had the followers, already had the engagement, already had the favor of the almighty and fickle algorithm. Either way, he would have been “using” Micah’s fame in order to get attention for his own work. So would it have been better or worse for Grant to start his own account, which *realistically* would grow pretty slowly on its own, and then constantly ask Micah to share his posts in his stories or interact with them in some other way that points people toward it?
In fact, no, that would have actually been more interesting. It would make their issues feel more personal and real if Grant tried to take this opportunity to drum up attention for his own work by setting up his own socials, and then they both realized eventually that he was still just riding the coattails of Micah’s fame. Instead, him “using” Micah for attention was incredibly predictable. I knew it was coming halfway through their first date.
What makes this whole situation awkward and frustrating for me is that Micah has a lot of privilege, and that is never really addressed in a substantial way. He gets lucky on social media by making it to 50k followers (thousands and thousands of artists will never see that number, and not for lack of trying or lack of talent), but behind that is the fact that he’s very well off financially (his family has a YACHT), with real world clout that can apparently make or break people’s social situations (see Elliot). He’s in a position to help Grant, but instead it’s portrayed as Grant using him to “climb ladders”. And again, they were COLLABORATING on this art project, and they both stood to benefit from it. So why play it like Micah is being used, when it would be way more realistic for him to also be excited to use his account to promote the project? It made the problems in their relationship feel very manufactured, when all you really needed to do was have Micah and Grant get to know each other and realize they just don’t vibe. Have Micah realize that he can’t objectify total strangers. Because… obviously.
And what’s with the different levels of charity Micah was willing to engage with between Grant and Elliot? Grant asked for help promoting his art show, so that’s bad? Elliot didn’t ask for any help with his poor situations, so it’s fine for Micah to throw a bunch of his dad’s money at him? Maybe it just felt better to Micah to help Elliot, because that at least was his own idea, done out of the goodness of his heart, so he can feel (and we can believe) that he’s actually a Nice and Generous rich boy?
Idk y’all, the socio-economic dynamics of the relationships between these three boys was REALLY wack. And before you tell me to shut up and not look that deeply because it’s just supposed to be some cute fluffy ya contemporary, these dynamics were literally the whole plot of the novel. It keeps getting brought up that Micah is oh-so-rich and has to be careful in public because people are watching him, can recognize him on the street, and I’m supposed to think that that doesn’t have any bearing on the situation?? Instead, it’s all about his ever elusive cReAtIvItY and how Grant asking him to use his account for promo somehow oppresses that. Really??
There’s even a moment where Elliot’s boyfriend teases Micah for being rich, but he does it in a ‘mean’ way, a ‘bitter’ way, so it’s bad. But then Elliot does it in a ‘nice’ way, (aka, in a way that doesn’t actually force Micah to think and feel bad about the difference in status and opportunity between him and his friend), and that’s just fine. In fact, it’s so cute. Micah LOVES being teased (NICELY) about how rich he is by a kid who works overtime every week and lives in a building with no AC and can’t afford vet school and gets harassed on the daily by entitled customers and gets exploited by a manager who should really be reported to OSHA. It makes him feel so… understood.
If I wasn’t supposed to think about any of these issues, which are real world problems that affect real world people, then why bring them up a thousand and one times? Yes, Micah is a kid, and his wealth isn’t any of his doing. But that would have just made it all the more interesting and powerful to have him challenge his family’s privilege, or look into ways he can use that privilege to help others. What was the point of him being wealthy at all? What was the point of it constantly being beaten into our heads that he’s wealthy?
I have… no idea.
In the end, the best way I can describe this book is out of touch. The plot didn’t feel plausible, the important character interactions were pretty contrived, and there were social themes that were brought up that were never resolved. I skimmed, and was kind of relieved when I was done.