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Transiciones: Comprender Las Fases De LA Madurez En La Vida De Los Hombres
Cada vez aumenta más la esperanza de vida. Llegar a los ochenta años ya no es una excepción. ¿Se acaba la vida a los cincuenta? ¿O a los sesenta? ¿Cómo desarrollar una vida en plenitud hasta el final? ¿Cómo utilizar de forma positiva toda la experiencia acumulada a lo largo de los años? Estos son los interrogantes a los que responde esta obra.
En la vida de todos los hombres llega un momento en que se tienen que enfrentar a unos cambios vitales. El problema reside en que nadie les ha preparado para ello.
Este libro quiere ser una guía de viaje, un manual para el autodescubrimiento. No se trata únicamente de la pérdida de potencia sexual, hoy casi corregida gracias a la medicina, sino también de aquellas crisis vitales y periodos de transición que enfrentan hombres y mujeres a medida que avanzan por la vida. Aunque estos períodos son difíciles para todo el mundo, no tienen por qué provocar una depresión ni una pérdida de autoestima o de salud.
Este libro ofrece a sus lectores una visión positiva de la vida, basada en la investigación sobre cientos de casos reales. Nos cuenta cómo los hombres, en su madurez, tienen la oportunidad de ser los dueños de su destino, de ser mejores amantes, mejores padres, más auténticos respecto a sus sentimientos y más libres aun, si cabe, que en su juventud.
En la vida de todos los hombres llega un momento en que se tienen que enfrentar a unos cambios vitales. El problema reside en que nadie les ha preparado para ello.
Este libro quiere ser una guía de viaje, un manual para el autodescubrimiento. No se trata únicamente de la pérdida de potencia sexual, hoy casi corregida gracias a la medicina, sino también de aquellas crisis vitales y periodos de transición que enfrentan hombres y mujeres a medida que avanzan por la vida. Aunque estos períodos son difíciles para todo el mundo, no tienen por qué provocar una depresión ni una pérdida de autoestima o de salud.
Este libro ofrece a sus lectores una visión positiva de la vida, basada en la investigación sobre cientos de casos reales. Nos cuenta cómo los hombres, en su madurez, tienen la oportunidad de ser los dueños de su destino, de ser mejores amantes, mejores padres, más auténticos respecto a sus sentimientos y más libres aun, si cabe, que en su juventud.
Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
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235 people want to read
About the author
Gail Sheehy
68 books101 followersGail Sheehy is an American writer and lecturer, most notable for her books on life and the life cycle. She is also a contributor to the magazine Vanity Fair.
Her fifth book, Passages, has been called "a road map of adult life". Several of her books continue the theme of passages through life's stages, including menopause and what she calls "Second Adulthood", including Pathfinders, Spirit of Survival, and Menopause: The Silent Passage. Her latest book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman, reveals a hidden cultural phenomenon: a surge of vitality in women's sex and love lives after age fifty. She has also authored a biography of Hillary Rodham Clinton titled Hillary's Choice. Her novel Middletown, America is being adapted as a TV miniseries. (from Wikipedia)
Her fifth book, Passages, has been called "a road map of adult life". Several of her books continue the theme of passages through life's stages, including menopause and what she calls "Second Adulthood", including Pathfinders, Spirit of Survival, and Menopause: The Silent Passage. Her latest book, Sex and the Seasoned Woman, reveals a hidden cultural phenomenon: a surge of vitality in women's sex and love lives after age fifty. She has also authored a biography of Hillary Rodham Clinton titled Hillary's Choice. Her novel Middletown, America is being adapted as a TV miniseries. (from Wikipedia)
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
July 12, 2014
My father passed recently and I found myself in a strange, new land where I wasn't sure where I was going and why I didn't know where I was going. I knew of Ms. Sheehy's "Passages" which was very famous for enlightening many to the different psychological stages we go through in life. After the success of that, she wrote this book for men.
On the whole, it's surprising how right she is. She's done her research and it shows. The book is broken up into 'this is what you're going through' and 'this is what you can expect' but there is not a lot of 'and this is what you can do so you don't freak out', meaning, you'll see yourself in these pages but there is not a lot of advice on how to manage the darker days.
I loved the recognition in this, but one thing for men (like me) who are almost 50: most of the book focuses on pre-50 ideas. There 50+ ideas were pretty great, but they are not nearly as deep as the pre-50 insights. I am still looking for books on men at 50+ that aren't published by AARP about how insightful, vibrant and intelligent men very deeply navigate life after the strange 50 year mark.
On the whole, it's surprising how right she is. She's done her research and it shows. The book is broken up into 'this is what you're going through' and 'this is what you can expect' but there is not a lot of 'and this is what you can do so you don't freak out', meaning, you'll see yourself in these pages but there is not a lot of advice on how to manage the darker days.
I loved the recognition in this, but one thing for men (like me) who are almost 50: most of the book focuses on pre-50 ideas. There 50+ ideas were pretty great, but they are not nearly as deep as the pre-50 insights. I am still looking for books on men at 50+ that aren't published by AARP about how insightful, vibrant and intelligent men very deeply navigate life after the strange 50 year mark.
March 9, 2013
I bought this book a short while after its publication (1998), when I was suddenly made redundant at the age of 51 and a few days before Xmas 1999. It was clear I faced some fundamental changes in life and the blurb on the cover promised me help at this difficult time. However, I didn’t actually read it. I found a new job, moved house and settled down to a new phase of life, forgetting the book. That, in retrospect, was a mistake. So, why have I extracted it from the shelves now?
In a few days, 13 to be precise, I will spend my last day at the office where I’ve worked, mostly part-time, for the past 13 years. I’m going to retire. It seemed a sensible approach to prepare myself for this major change and the book still appeared a worthwhile resource. I’m glad I read it. As it happens, my retirement, far from being the negative or fearful phase so many men dread, is for me a welcome event; something I’ve looked forward to for a number of years.
But this book, written largely for an America readership, has given this particular Brit insights into other phases of my life and shown me where I’ve made mistakes and where I’ve been more than averagely successful or fortunate in my life choices.
Gail Sheehy breaks down the passage of a man’s life into various stages. I find myself at the penultimate step she describes as the Influential Sixties. Much of what she says is encouraging and, whilst some of the research she relies on has been overtaken by new findings, her observations mostly remain valid. Men are notoriously reluctant to discuss personal aspects of life, unwilling to visit the doctor when ill, more inclined to bulldoze through difficulties than analyse them through discussion, and prepared to suffer great stress and pain rather than admit to some physical failing that might diminish them in the eyes of their peers or their partner.
Had I consulted this book at the time of that redundancy, when 14 of my fellow workers were also abruptly made the victims of poor company results that were entirely outside our control, I might have avoided the 10 years of ME/CFS that have plagued my last years of employment. The loss of self-esteem and reduction in self-confidence that assails a man under the imposed loss of work is not generally understood by those who’ve never experienced it. I know now that my reaction, submerged by the necessity of going out there and finding another means to support my family, was a period of low-level chronic depression. Untreated, because it was largely invisible to everyone, it ate at my auto-immune system and, with the typical onset of a viral infection, I fell prey to that much misunderstood condition of ME/CFS. Had I acknowledged my depression, had I even allowed it to surface enough to be recognised by my amazing and supportive wife, I might have accepted the need for treatment and spared myself the consequences of submerging my feelings and thereby attracting a debilitating illness. This much I have concluded from this book. And I make it clear and plain here for those men who read this review: Don’t do what I did. It’s not wise, it’s not big, it’s not clever and, more importantly, it’s not the best thing you can do for your dependents.
The author has worked in the field for many years, carried out a huge number of interviews, surveys, discussions and studies. Her words make sense. I found solace, gentle condemnation, understanding, hope and the promise of better things to come through the application of her wisdom. That I came to this advice late and therefore lost some positive experiences is secondary to the fact that I feel, now, much better prepared for the coming years. I was already looking forward to this new stage in my life; a chance to spend more quality time with my wife, an opportunity to really get down to the writing I’ve been engaged in only partially for the past thirty years, a return to my love of image making through photography and, perhaps, new for me, drawing and painting.
There’s advice here for the corporate man, the business tycoon, the blue collar worker, the single father, the professional, the creative man and, indeed, any and every type of man. If you’re still under 40, read it now, before you reach that particular watershed. If you’re past that point, read it now, before you waste more time and poorly-directed effort by going in the more destructive direction most men seem to take when faced with unexpected change. I don’t generally read self-improvement books, which are mostly written to improve the bank balance of their authors, but I’m damned glad I read this book. I can truly say that it has improved my prospects for the future.
I was looking forward to retirement, which Gail Sheehy so rightly says should be renamed ‘redirection’, before I picked up her book. But I now face that change with an improved sense of what I might achieve, discover, attempt and enjoy in the coming years. If you’re a man, I urge you to read this fascinating, insightful and wise piece of guidance to help you through those inevitable changes that occur throughout our lives as men. And, if you’re a woman, I urge you to read it so that you may gain a deeper understanding of what drives and influences a man during those Passages in Men’s Lives.
In a few days, 13 to be precise, I will spend my last day at the office where I’ve worked, mostly part-time, for the past 13 years. I’m going to retire. It seemed a sensible approach to prepare myself for this major change and the book still appeared a worthwhile resource. I’m glad I read it. As it happens, my retirement, far from being the negative or fearful phase so many men dread, is for me a welcome event; something I’ve looked forward to for a number of years.
But this book, written largely for an America readership, has given this particular Brit insights into other phases of my life and shown me where I’ve made mistakes and where I’ve been more than averagely successful or fortunate in my life choices.
Gail Sheehy breaks down the passage of a man’s life into various stages. I find myself at the penultimate step she describes as the Influential Sixties. Much of what she says is encouraging and, whilst some of the research she relies on has been overtaken by new findings, her observations mostly remain valid. Men are notoriously reluctant to discuss personal aspects of life, unwilling to visit the doctor when ill, more inclined to bulldoze through difficulties than analyse them through discussion, and prepared to suffer great stress and pain rather than admit to some physical failing that might diminish them in the eyes of their peers or their partner.
Had I consulted this book at the time of that redundancy, when 14 of my fellow workers were also abruptly made the victims of poor company results that were entirely outside our control, I might have avoided the 10 years of ME/CFS that have plagued my last years of employment. The loss of self-esteem and reduction in self-confidence that assails a man under the imposed loss of work is not generally understood by those who’ve never experienced it. I know now that my reaction, submerged by the necessity of going out there and finding another means to support my family, was a period of low-level chronic depression. Untreated, because it was largely invisible to everyone, it ate at my auto-immune system and, with the typical onset of a viral infection, I fell prey to that much misunderstood condition of ME/CFS. Had I acknowledged my depression, had I even allowed it to surface enough to be recognised by my amazing and supportive wife, I might have accepted the need for treatment and spared myself the consequences of submerging my feelings and thereby attracting a debilitating illness. This much I have concluded from this book. And I make it clear and plain here for those men who read this review: Don’t do what I did. It’s not wise, it’s not big, it’s not clever and, more importantly, it’s not the best thing you can do for your dependents.
The author has worked in the field for many years, carried out a huge number of interviews, surveys, discussions and studies. Her words make sense. I found solace, gentle condemnation, understanding, hope and the promise of better things to come through the application of her wisdom. That I came to this advice late and therefore lost some positive experiences is secondary to the fact that I feel, now, much better prepared for the coming years. I was already looking forward to this new stage in my life; a chance to spend more quality time with my wife, an opportunity to really get down to the writing I’ve been engaged in only partially for the past thirty years, a return to my love of image making through photography and, perhaps, new for me, drawing and painting.
There’s advice here for the corporate man, the business tycoon, the blue collar worker, the single father, the professional, the creative man and, indeed, any and every type of man. If you’re still under 40, read it now, before you reach that particular watershed. If you’re past that point, read it now, before you waste more time and poorly-directed effort by going in the more destructive direction most men seem to take when faced with unexpected change. I don’t generally read self-improvement books, which are mostly written to improve the bank balance of their authors, but I’m damned glad I read this book. I can truly say that it has improved my prospects for the future.
I was looking forward to retirement, which Gail Sheehy so rightly says should be renamed ‘redirection’, before I picked up her book. But I now face that change with an improved sense of what I might achieve, discover, attempt and enjoy in the coming years. If you’re a man, I urge you to read this fascinating, insightful and wise piece of guidance to help you through those inevitable changes that occur throughout our lives as men. And, if you’re a woman, I urge you to read it so that you may gain a deeper understanding of what drives and influences a man during those Passages in Men’s Lives.
September 16, 2019
I got about halfway through this before giving up. None of it applied to my life at all. I tried to see parallels, but couldn't.
Sheehy dwells (almost?) entirely on very driven, lucky, rich men who are suddenly adrift when they no longer have to actively manage their multi-million-dollar companies or after they sell their shares in some start-up they shepherded to national importance. Poor babies. As far as I got, she also assumes that any man who would read her book is married to a woman, and aiming for traditional monogamy.
By the time you edit out all the men she ignores, this book seems like it might have a pretty limited readership. But if you're aiming for monogamy, straight, married, rich, and middle-aged, you might want to give it a go.
Sheehy dwells (almost?) entirely on very driven, lucky, rich men who are suddenly adrift when they no longer have to actively manage their multi-million-dollar companies or after they sell their shares in some start-up they shepherded to national importance. Poor babies. As far as I got, she also assumes that any man who would read her book is married to a woman, and aiming for traditional monogamy.
By the time you edit out all the men she ignores, this book seems like it might have a pretty limited readership. But if you're aiming for monogamy, straight, married, rich, and middle-aged, you might want to give it a go.
December 7, 2014
A book of this kind is very much needed. Men often feel adrift, lost in contemporary society. Our culture lacks a common mythology that charts our path through life and this book attempts to fill that gap. It succeds to an extent, although frequently the content feels extraneous and superficial, like reading a health brochure in a doctor's office.
At its best, though, the book reminds us that the essence of life is change and that we must be prepared to adapt in order to survive and flourish. The book enables us to find ourselves; to know we're not alone on life's daunting journey; and, it offers hope that, no matter how difficult things get, there is a way forward.
What more can we ask from our reading?
Also recommended: James Hollis' Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
At its best, though, the book reminds us that the essence of life is change and that we must be prepared to adapt in order to survive and flourish. The book enables us to find ourselves; to know we're not alone on life's daunting journey; and, it offers hope that, no matter how difficult things get, there is a way forward.
What more can we ask from our reading?
Also recommended: James Hollis' Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
January 6, 2013
An account of what men's lives are really like today--their doubts, passions and hunger for renewal.
Sheehy continues to build on the body of knowledge that she has brought forward in earlier books, that our understanding of life, its critical moments and its trajectories, change as the world we live in constantly changes and evolves. The older knowledge we have does not fit with our new realities and our experiences of the world.
Sheehy's theorizes that now that men have increasingly unpredictable and elongated lives, they need to reinvent themselves and expand the ways they demonstrate their manliness.
Although this book is aimed at males in terms of its content, both men and women can benefit from the information presented.
An informing read.
Sheehy continues to build on the body of knowledge that she has brought forward in earlier books, that our understanding of life, its critical moments and its trajectories, change as the world we live in constantly changes and evolves. The older knowledge we have does not fit with our new realities and our experiences of the world.
Sheehy's theorizes that now that men have increasingly unpredictable and elongated lives, they need to reinvent themselves and expand the ways they demonstrate their manliness.
Although this book is aimed at males in terms of its content, both men and women can benefit from the information presented.
An informing read.
September 7, 2009
This book taught me about the unique challenges faced by men in today's society. It also conveyed the fears many men face about their lives, the world and their families. There is so much that unites the genders and interesting stuff that makes the male/female experience different. Let me tell ya ladies, despite popular opinion, men are JUST as complicated beings as women. Humans are complicated and life is rich because of it. If you love a man (husband, brother, father, son etc.) this book is a MUST read.
May 4, 2010
I volunteer parttime as a counselor at a women's resource center, and this morning found myself with unexpected time without clients, so I went to the library at the center and grabbed up a pop psych book. I enjoyed Gail Shehy's "Passages," which was sort of a turning point book for many women at the time it was published. But since then so many similar books have been written that I found nothing in this one that wasn't old hat. I learn more from watching Dr. Phil.
April 29, 2013
Quite enlightening. Although it is now over 15 years old, it is a little dated. I mean Viagra was just coming out back then! Some things still hold true though. She gives new insight to women's interactions with their men also. I just wish she would make the distinction between BIO-IDENTICAL testosterone and synthetic, which DOES cause prostate cancer. Maybe that information wasn't available then.
December 1, 2008
Men generally don't talk about their diminishing capacities. Sheehy looks at physical and emotional changes men encounter as they move into and through their middle ages. She offers narratives from men she has interviewed in which they discuss how these changes impact their lives at home and work, and how they cope with these changes.
March 27, 2009
Good book for both men and women. Men to understand what is going on with us emotionally and physically as we go through the decades of our lives. Women so they would understand our failings and our insecurities. I just re-read (March 2009) some of and was reminded how much it helsp to understand myself and where I am at this point in life. And what lies ahead.
September 1, 2012
Another excellent, very interesting book from Gail Sheehy that builds upon her foundational text, "Passages." The discussions here are focused on men, and I found much of it to be resonant and relevant.
October 15, 2010
as an outsider ( a wife ) this book makes sense to me and I feel more
patient with the men my age..
patient with the men my age..
Read
March 27, 2011Food for thought
October 1, 2008
Wonderful perspective and insight into the male mind; affirming much of what we've considered
October 24, 2012
Read most of it. Skimming through some. It's OK.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 4, 2017
I good overview I suppose. It's certainly helpful to know that you aren't alone in your feelings or what you're going through, but I never felt the author gave any solid advice on navigating to the other side of this passage. She's kind of illuminated the passage, let you know it's there, but scant advice on transporting your way through it.
August 4, 2020
A forgetable report on the changes men face as they age. She concentrated on rich and successful men instead of the average guy. Most of the men interviewed complained about impotence, lost of vitality, etc. I didn't get much out of it.
October 10, 2020
I’m in a self-help phase and this had a lot of good food for thought. Some of it was a bit dated (to be expected from a book written in the late 90s and largely targeted at boomers), but overall plenty that resonated.
August 30, 2023
Interesting perspectives on challenges and mental barriers for men explained throughout the perspectives of their respective influences within each decade of a man’s life.
Definitely very heavily influenced by 90s culture and fads, which is unique to see with hindsight.
Definitely very heavily influenced by 90s culture and fads, which is unique to see with hindsight.
February 8, 2020
I think the most concise bit of information I can give about this book is that it was written in the 20th century and non-ironically talks about the post-patriarchal male.
February 24, 2024
Outdated
November 28, 2017
A good read. I found a lot of the information useful in understanding men's passages as they get older. Although, I get the feeling more women than men would read this book. However, I do recommend it for men. It touches on many subject concerning different transitions at different ages. The author interviews men and gets their reader a first hand view of real men going through real life situations, such as, career change, divorce, loss of a spouse, relationships with grown children, among other things (yes, they even discuss the sex thing).
Read
January 9, 2009305.2 She
June 2, 2016
I recommend this book to both men and women. It helps us to understand and appreciate the stages we go through as we age. Validates what most people call mid-life crisis.
April 12, 2020
I was 47 years old when I read this!
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews