Purity and Passion: Spiritual Truths about Intimacy That Will Strengthen Your Marriage

by Wendy Watson Nelson, Wendy Watson Nelson

Build a more intimate relationship with your spouse "This book is mind expanding, inspirational, motivational, and full of hope… a beautiful love story with an eternal dimension for every couple," writes Ardeth Greene Kapp. The book is Purity and Passion, and its practical suggestions on how to make positive changes in marriage have helped thousands of couples. Newly available in a paperback edition, this groundbreaking book clears away obstacles and misconceptions about sexual intimacy by examining them in the light of eternal principles. If you long for more emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy in your marriage, this book is for you!

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Religion, Lds, Self Help, Church, Psychology

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

see Wendy L. Watson

Reviews

[Kris · Rating 2 out of 5]

After reading through several sections of this book, I was left with the impression that this woman is a bit of a kook. I'm sure she has helped other couples with their intimacy issues, but she has never been married, and admitedly never had sex! Her ideas about sex are a little odd, to say the least. And I don't feel like I'm a bad Mormon saying so--just because an author is sold at Deseret Book, doesn't mean their words are church doctrine (unless it's a general authority of course) That's just my opinion. I didn't find it helpful at all. (A little entertaining though.)

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to purchase this book. It's that good. It touched my spirit deeply, made me laugh and made me cry. I highly recommend it to all my friends who are practicing members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This has answered some questions I've had throughout my married life. There is so much misinformation about intimacy portrayed in the media and culture. This is a very important book that presents the way marriage can be. It's also focused on receiving help through Jesus Christ. I want to read it again and again.

One of the things I love about this book is its lack of perfectionism. It acknowledges that it's presenting an ideal and that even long-married, successful, happy couples experience the ideal "sometimes." Wow. So eye opening. I wish I read this years and years ago. I'm thankful our relationship is finally ready for this one.

This is the book I thought I was going to be reading when I started her Rock Solid Relationships which is more about all kinds of relationships. That's a good book, but not what I expected. I imagined she could write a much better book now that she is married. Well, this one was also written before she was married. She says toward the beginning, "You may find yourself wanting to say: 'I'll bet Wendy wouldn't have written that if she were married!'" Ha! Almost what I was saying. I don't feel the same after reading this one. It's extremely insightful. I'd be intrigued to hear if she would change anything about this book now that she's been married. I'm guessing she wouldn't. It's that good.

And a funny side note, as I began writing this review, a song by Simon and Garfunkel that she quotes from came up on my Pandora.

In the New Testament "Come Follow Me" manual under August 19-25, 1 Corinithians 1-7, it suggests watching a video "Love and Marriage" by Sister Nelson about intimacy that she gave to young adults in January 2017. It's a great introduction to some of the ideas she shares in this book and is part of what motivated me to want to read the book.

I now have much more admiration and respect for Sister Nelson. I'd love to meet her and talk with her for an hour or two.

[Danae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such great insight on how to bring God more fully into not only my marriage but all aspects of my life.

[Callie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I read this book together. Assuming this book was all about sex, I thought it was going to be an awkward book. But intimacy encompasses so much more than that. This book opened our eyes to so many things that were hindering the intimacy in our marriage. It helped us to refocus ourselves and our marriage and draw closer to the Spirit as a couple and as a family.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was good...I am finishing my round of 'books to read' and this has been on my marriage list for a while. It wasn't the best marriage book I have read, but I liked it. I think it would be really beneficial to go much more slowly and even use it like a workbook...taking notes, spending time practicing the ideas she presents. I really did like viewing marriage through her lens and comparing it to the worldly lens. I think she had some great points.

[Mike Farmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half of this book was very insightful. I believe many marriages can be improved by applying the principles it teaches. I also think the book provides a helpful perspective on sex that we don't generally speak of in the Church.

Unfortunately this book is about 50 pages too long. The last part of the book is repetitious and full of clichés and anecdotes that, I felt, oversimplified real problems in marriage.

[Camillia Dougal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truely enjoyed reading this book. I loved the inserts of other couples struggles and solutions. The ideas and inspiration I felt throughout reading this book has enhanced my ideas and feelings for my own marriage. Thank you for your ideas and suggestions. I will be reading this one again.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my biggest take aways was her advice to not let things co-authored by Satan in your home. That certainly got my attention! It has made media choices much less ambiguous.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my opinion this book was only okay. It felt a little “old fashioned” which is weird to say because truth is truth and applies no matter the era… and this was first published in 2001 which is not that long ago. So, I guess, there were nuggets of truth and nuggets of good counsel. But that goes hand in hand with my feeling that she talked ‘around’ the subject a whoooooooole lot. And there wasn’t much at all of getting down to the matter. I found myself wanting the book to just be done already.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best marriage counseling ever! I’ve already applied a few of the things I learned from the book and it has already made a difference in my marriage. I admit that some of the ideas around intimacy were a little bit out there for me, but the intentions behind them were solid and I knew the point she was trying to make. Save your money in counseling and read this book first!

[Marla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book. I didn't like it as much as her last book that I read, but I still liked it a lot. This was not a fast read for me. Each chapter have me things to think about when it comes to intimacy in my marriage. Overall, it has helped me.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-4.5 stars. This was a surprisingly refreshing book to read on marriage and intimacy. This is straight gospel-based instruction and guidance from a 30+ year veteran marriage and family therapist. It approaches it all in a way that I have rarely come across lately. Glad I checked it out.

[Rachel Robins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic exploration of sexuality and intimacy in a faith-based marriage. It's the ideal that I'd love to get to one day. Super important read.

[Elizabeth Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I was looking for, but it did bring up things to talk about with my husband. Look at this as a Latter-day Saint marriage help book and you will know more what you're in for.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would read any book by Wendy Nelson. I LOVE HER😍

[VJK · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I was looking for in advice. I thought too much scripture was used in trying to give advice in marital problems.

[Jodee Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical, helpful, useful, insightful. Better than any Sexual help book I have read so far.

[Elizabeth Ricks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Admittedly I did not finish the whole book. I read about 80% of it. I found that it was getting a bit repetitive.

[Timo Bartolo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Like that it focuses more on the spiritual side. Feel like it’s mainly useful for viewing the subject matter in different lights to improve experiences

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful explanation and insights to having a stronger marriage. Loved the inspiration of this book and the Spirit.
This will be a text I reference often.

[Tammy Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although normal notices in the book were helpful for me personally, there were some great points that Wendy Watson Nelson makes that are helpful and applicable for me. I’m glad I read it!

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is another one that has the quote that marriage can be an exultant ecstasy. It clearly explains the importance of what seem to be basic principles, but are hard to practice. Things such as communication, forgiveness, and kindness, Things easily said, but seldom practiced.

Part 2 “Obstacles to Intimacy"
Chapter 3 “The Devastation of Impurity"
Chapter 4 “Lies the Blind and Bind"
Chapter 5 “The Alienating Influence of Anger"

Part 3 “Increasing Intimacy in Your Marriage" includes chapters 6-8
Chapter 6 "Change Is Always Possible"
"- Change is possible when the belief at the heart of the matter is discovered."
"- It is possible through the process of reflection."
"- It is possible when voices of authority speak healing words."
"- It is possible when spouses are true to who they really are."
"- It is possible when love is present."
"- And change always occurs as we come closer to the Savior and become more like him." (Page 86)

Chapter 7 The Healing Power of Apologies and Forgiveness
This chapter includes some example apologies

Part 4 “Eternal Truths about Marital Intimacy"

Part 5 “What Do We Do Now?"

Now I want to go back and reread her later book: Rock Solid Relationships.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I really liked this book and there were many ideas that helped me consider how to be better in this area of my marriage. Though I do have to admit that at times some of the concepts were a bit interesting and that I did not agree 100% with all of her theories and approaches. A good read if you are looking to have an LDS author's insight into intimacy, but my advice would be to remember most of this is her opinion and not necessarily Church doctrine. Also it is interesting that the author was not married at the time she wrote this; not that you have to have gone through something to be an authority and help people with this subject, but I do wonder if she had had personal experience with this if that would have changed what she wrote or how she approached this book at all...! I don't like when things are set up quite so black and white when in my opinion the Church hasn't necessarily taken stances quite this strongly and if my understanding is correct, says relations (for the most part, within bounds, of course!) should be between the Lord and the husband and wife.

[Chrisanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been concerned lately with improper intimacy. Not the physical kind, but emotional intimacy. It gets tricky as you get older, more of your friends are married/dating folks, etc. And I've really been trying to focus on having appropriate relationships with people in my various "friend-zones."

So, I was browsing the shelves at the library and came across this book. Since I was pretty sure that she wrote this when she was single(and, at the moment, these sorts of women are my role models), I was curious. So I took it home.

It's a lovely book. It focuses on all types of intimacy and answered a lot of my questions. But more than that, it reinstated some of my ideals that had been trampled on or disregarded by the people around me. And she knows her stuff. I particularly liked her section on change-- how Christ is the one person who can help us make lasting change, but He is also the one person who never changes.

*Again, not married, still single, so maybe I'll give it a reread when I know more about the topic? :)

[Larsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title tells you clearly that the book discusses spiritual truths. The prime truth taught in this book is that a couple must truly be one to maximize the rewards of physical intimacy. The essential need for oneness and unity is emphasized throughout the scriptures. Unity and becoming one, as the Savior prayed that we all would be, invites and opens the door for guidance and rewards from heaven. The author offers effective teaching about how to become one. Acting on these teachings will indeed strengthen one's marriage, but they are not specifically about physical intimacy.

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book to everyone! The author is now the wife of Elder Russell M. Nelson. She worked for at least 25 years as a family councilor. I love reading any talk about marriage from General Authorities, but I also know there are other wise people out there that give great council in enhancing your marriage.
She really is a wise woman who helps you to reflect and identify the small ways you can improve yourself and become closer to your spouse.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was recommended by a trusted friend, so I thought I'd give it a try. I found her scriptural insights excellent. She applied scriptures I've read numerous times to everyday life in a ways I had never considered. However, many of the ideas about marriage were probably idealistic. I liked the book in general, but didn't glean very many practical ideas that applied to me and my marriage.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I looked at some of the reviews for this book on Amazon, they were cynical and fault finding. But, because a dear friend asked me to read it, I did so. And I loved it. The reviews were negative, but the complaints showed lack of understanding for the subject . . . or perhaps simply pride. There is a wealth of information in this book if the reader is only willing to set his/her own pride aside and allow God to do the tutoring.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, has some great thoughts on how to improve your marriage! Whether it's going well or not. It's one of those reminders that we ALL have room for improvement and takes us back to where we should be...spiritually striving for that Celestial Marriage! And...a reminder to think of your spouse. We all have a bunch of things going on, it's often hard to take the high road. But the view up there is great:)

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not married, but I felt the book provided me with insights to strengthen my marriage in the future. The book helped me to understand how intimacy is nurtured in all relationships, not just sexually between a husband and wife. The book also provided me with insights necessary to help me improve my ability to understand where other people are coming from, and how my actions play a roll in negative aspects of a relationship, even when I believe that "I'm right".